Sarahās ceremony inclusions
What do you include in your ceremonies?
Becoming a celebrant for a side hustle
Every week one or two potential new celebrants email or DM me about starting a celebrancy business as a side hustle, hoping to make a few dollars on the side to provide for their family’s extra needs or to put some cash in the holiday account.
Itās understandable. In the past it was a common part time career for a mum, or a school teacher, to undertake and just do a few ceremonies a year.
Dealing with difficult couples
A celebrant asks: This has been the year of a handful of crazies, seriously. I'm thankful it hasn't just been me, others in the region have had the exact same experience with this weird 2019 trend of difficult couples. I tried firing one of the couples earlier this...
Can’t access a birth certificate but has a passport!
Cass asks: Iām marring a couple in October and one of them canāt find his birth certificate and heās looked everywhere. He seems to think it can’t get posted to him in time to fill out the NOIM. He only has a passport and not a drivers license or proof of age. Is there any other form of ID he can use like Medicare or like proof of residency? Sorry, I tried looking it up and canāt quite figure out how to use other IDs on the NOIM?
Online advertising just doesn’t work the way we hope
There is a fascinating article on The Correspondent today about the next “dot com bubble” being online advertising. The link is a long, but easy, and really (seriously) interesting read, but for the benefit of CI blog readers, I’ll quote a few sections here.
Getting the guests to obey you
I recently had a ceremony which was in a very sunny/hot location, I asked the guests multiple times to move over to the ceremony area but they all resisted and stayed in the shade. I walked over and specifically asked them to move over and some did but some still didn’t. What are your tips?
“Authority for marriage despite late notice – not applicable”
“I’m confused about a tick box on the NOIM with these words beside it “Authority for marriage despite late notice – not applicable”. It does not have an asterisk or dagger next to it for actioning (i.e. strike out words not required, or strike out if inapplicable). Can you advise when and what this should be actioned for please?”
Evidence of divorces granted overseas
I've written before about how easy it is for parties to get a copy of their divorce order if they were divorced in Australia. I've also written about the changes in the 2018 Guidelines that allow us to accept a stat dec where evidence of a divorce granted overseas is...
Legals Only weddings: clarity for couples
How do you lock down clear processes for legals? I often have the issue of legals being pushed to a short and sweet without them paying for that.
MLCS & celebrant associations/networks meeting 28 October 2019
I attended my first meeting with the other celebrant association/networks and staff from the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section (MLCS) of the Commonwealth Attorney-General’s Department (AGD) on Monday 28 October 2019. Here’s a summary of what was discussed!
Statutory declaration for evidence of date and place of birth
Shamini asks: I've got a couple who came here as refugees (by boat) 9 years ago and are looking to get married. In terms of ID they have a travel document that is provided by the Australian Govt (looks like a passport). Is this sufficient for me to use? They don't...
Taking over a ceremony for another celebrant: legal obligations
A celebrant friend has asked me to be a standby in case she cannot officiate her nieces wedding next month. I am meeting the couple this week so we can all feel comfortable and I will also check ID’s so I am happy with that aspect. The best outcome is that I am just there on the day and she is well enough but we are both wanting to be prepared so her niece has a legal and memorable wedding with no glitches. Is this enough?
US citizens marrying in Australia
US citizens marrying in Australia; are there any differences for us to be aware of?
Signing documents electronically under the new rules
What does “signing electronically” actually mean?
We’ve got a seat at the AGD’s table
Twice a year the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section (MLCS) of the Attorney General's Department meets with representatives of celebrants associations to discuss the potential impact of policies and legislative changes to the Marriage Celebrants Programme. For many...
Itās time to wean ourselves off this teat
The most popular question Iām asked in person by my wedding industry colleagues, and here on the Celebrant Institute, is which website do I advertise on or which directory do I list in that works?
Somewhere along the way, wedding vendors have gotten really comfortable being fed off the teat of wedding blogs, directories, websites, and magazines.
Written to elicit a response
On todays episode, we discuss our seat at the big table with MLCS, caping celebrant numbers, and the new survey that was written to coerce celebrants into doing less OPD, the implications for the industry and what you can do about it. We also look at the celebrants...
How to say the monitum with warmth
Tracey asks: I’d really love some input about how/where in the ceremony you would say the Monitum. In amongst all the beautiful ‘love’ words it can feel a bit cold and clinical. I’m yet to find a way to bring it into the ceremony without it sounding a bit like an announcement!Ā I feel pretty ok with writing sections of a ceremony. Tying them together is the tricky part for me!
Giving the couple a copy of their NOIM
I have completed a NOIM with a bride for a ceremony next year, the groom lives in the USA and they are submitting a prospective marriage visa application. When signing the NOIM with the bride I provided a letter of support but she also wanted a copy of the NOIM for her lawyer. I said I wasn’t able to provide this and the letter should be enough (I have done a few of these now and no other couple have asked for it and visas have been processed). I double checked this with some other celebrants at the time as I was sure we were not supposed to pass on copies of the NOIM to anyone and they agreed, do not pass it on. Anyway today the lawyer called me asking for the NOIM again. I advised the same thing and she was super nice about it but said in 5 years I am the only celebrant to have ever said no…ā¦ā¦ā¦. SO am I wrong or is she wrong? I don’t want to hinder their visa application in any way but I also want to follow our rules!
How to update your Bose S1 speakerās software
You can update the software on your Bose S1 speaker, and it comes with new features like using your speakers with the Bose Connect app, whilst also making the speakers operate with greater stability.
Wedding location on the marriage paperwork
I am doing a backyard wedding next week (the couple have changed their mind at the last minute) so do I need to put their street address as the location, along with the town and state? I can’t find any guidance in the Guidelines about how nailed down the location has to be but I remember in my Cert IV that I had to write location as well as town and state.
Timing of divorce and the NOIM
When do I need to sight proof of the end of a previous marriage?
Total period of residence on the NOIM, part 2
I have a groom who is a foreign national, but this is not the first time he lived in Australia ā he lived here as a child as well. Does ‘Total Period of Residency’ only refer to his most recent stint, or is it a sum of all the times he has lived here?
Postponing a wedding: what happens to the NOIM?
Dee asks: After reading the guidelines Iām after some clarification regarding a NOIM. One of my couples have unfortunately had to postpone their wedding. Am I right in thinking the below : - If the wedding takes place with eighteen months of the NOIM being signed we...
High pitched squeak out of the speaker system
Thanks very much for your helpful article about PA system recommendations. I hope Bose & Sennheiser are kind to you! I upgraded to both recommended items & during testing at home & at a venue it worked perfectly, but once the ceremony started there was some audio issues; couple of those high pitches squeaks and I think a bit of cutting out. It wasnāt a disaster but also wasnāt great, and Iād like my audio to be as good as poss so just trying to figure it out before the next ceremony.
VIC BDM RIO: children of previous marriages
Trying to input previous marriage’s children’s birth years on VIC BDM site… there are 5, it will only accept 1. I’ve tried commas and with out, not go.
How to use two Bose S1 speakers in a wedding ceremony
Sophie asks: āAfter a beach ceremony last weekend I vowed to never lug my massive speaker around again – its ridiculously heavy, Iām pregnant, plus sand = a terrible time. I loved your set-up at the conference and def did not write enough notes at that time about what was going on. Bose S1 Pro, check. If I go with 2 speakers like you had do they have to be connected with a cable? I donāt think yours did but some audio store people are telling me Iād have to? Iām not too tech savvy but have reasonable intelligence so I know I can work it all out when I get going. Ideally Iād like 2 speakers playing all audio at once – me speaking through a headset (something decent Rode or the like), couples into a handheld (Senheiser right?) and music played through Bluetooth. This is pretty much what Iāve told the few places Iāve approached so far but then it gets complicated quick when theyāre talking to me about mixers and cables etc etc and Iām lost. Any quick and not too laborious help??
Discounts/freebies for awful situations
Do you reduce your rate when a couple is in an awful situation? Terminally ill party etc. I’ve had this arise twice in the last 3 months and never know what to do.
Are we finished being angry at Glenn yet?
A wide variety of celebrant chat in this episode! Celebrant Institute turns one (happy birthday!). We recap our first year and what we have accomplished. We discuss Glennās feedback from our previous episode plus general discussion on industry updates. 0.40 Sarahās...
Josh’s plan for posting on social media
When I post on social media, I’ve got one plan in mind. Not to sell, not to do a deal, not to whinge or complain. I want to be known. So when people that like me make a decision about a celebrant, I’m who they think of. When I saw this recent meme about the mortifying ordeal of being known and loved it resonated with me so much I had to work it into a talk for our recent conference.
Three reasons your celebrant website should be secure
As you’re viewing this blog post you’ll note that in the URL bar, the part where you type the blah blah blah dot com bit, next to the domain name ‘celebrant.institute’ you’ll see a little padlock ???? icon that is a sign that this website is communicating with your web browser securely. If you share any information with this website, by logging in, making a comment, typing in a credit card number, or even just reading blog posts, that content is all secure. Running a secure website today is not only popular and a good look, but it is important for your brand identity and your search engine optimisation. As an example, here’s a screenshot of a website I visited today and I was surprised how negatively I felt about the brand knowing that they had not installed an SSL certificate on their website and made it a secure connection.
How to get more wedding enquiries
Liene at Think Splendid shares five powerfully simple ways to get more enquiries to your wedding celebrant business today. They’re so simple that you are hopefully already doing them, or if you’re not, this is a quick and swift reminder.
How to be a wedding reception MC
The art of MCing a wedding reception is definitely one most celebrants could master, but it’s a little different to being a marriage celebrant, so here’s master MC, Glenn Mackay, of G&M Event Group at the 2019 conference on how to perfect the art.
If you’re looking for more from Glenn he was a guest on the Celebrant Talk Show on a totally different subject, listen here.
Registering Australian marriages overseas
Just wanting some advice on how you inform couples on how to register their marriages aboard? E.gĀ A Scottish couple marry here, and ask you how they register their marriage in Scotland. I understand they need to have the Original Marriage Certificate apostille stamped, before their government will recognize it as a true document, however where can they get this done? The Australian Embassy in their country or??
Marrying in your birth name after changing your name by marriage
I have a bride that is divorced but still goes by her previous spouse’s surname. In regards to moving forward and taking on the new spouses name – does she have to go through any special process or will she just go to her organisations and show her divorce cert, and new marriage certificate to change to her new surname? In regards to the paperwork NOIM etc – if she shows me her birth certificate, but a passport/drivers licence with her previous married surname – as long as I’m satisfied that it is the same person, and she is who she says she is, does it matter? And i fill out the documentation with her maiden name?
$6 Dollar Breakfast!
After dropping my car off to be serviced this morning I hit the local cafe strip to find a breakfast befitting of someone wanting to sit in a cafe for breakfast and a coffee while answering emails and writing blog posts.
The first cafe was offering a $6 breakfast, and without inspecting the actual offering, I knew instantly that I didn’t want a $6 breakfast. Everything in me knew that I was not a $6 breakfast person. On a morning like this I was thinking that breakfast would cost at a bare minimum $10 but probably closer to $20, and thereād be a coffee as well, a large one, so I was expecting to pay no more than say $25.
Ladies And Gentlemen, And Everyone Else!
Today on the podcast we're super lucky to be joined by Glenn Mackay, who is an award-winning wedding MC and DJ in SE Queensland. He's seen hundreds of wedding ceremonies while he's been playing the ceremony music, and we're delighted to have him talk to us about his...
Sallyās dilemma is our dilemma
What most clients pay Sally forāthe deliverable, is that five minutes of video footage. But what Sally dreams of doing and being paid for is finding stories worth telling. Itās easier for Sally to sell the outcomeāthe video, than it is to market her process and the impact of her work. So, she defaults to doing whatās easy and ends up selling videos in one-minute increments to clients who donāt understand or pay for her genius. People happily pay for the tangible. But if the tangibleāthe logo, the report or the cup of coffee, is a fraction of the value we create, then we need to get better at selling the intangible. Itās not unusual to wake up one day and find that the work people pay us for isnāt the work we intended to do. Itās our job to fix that, by telling the right story to the right people. Is the work people pay you for the work you want to do?
Why people hire the mediocre celebrant instead of you
If you want people to appreciate that what you offer is better, that what you offer is actually good, the market needs to have more actually good businesses in it. It seems like you should be able to stand apart by being good when surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, but real life rarely works that way. If you want people to appreciate that what you offer is better, that what you offer is actually good, the market needs to have more actually good businesses in it. It seems like you should be able to stand apart by being good when surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, but real life rarely works that way.
Non-refundable refund demanded
Veronica asks: I know where you stand on refunds. Yesterday, I had a bride who cancelled her November wedding due to the relationship splitting, texting me nasty abuse and demanding the clearly stated non-refundable booking fee. Itās stated on my invoice &...
Developing your own ceremony performance style: Sarah’s view
Alexandra says, “I’m getting anxious about what to do before the ceremony starts and pressure to be funny during the ceremony – am I overthinking it?”
On the off chance that no-one knows what this sentence is about
Hello everybody! Thanks for joining us for another episode of The Celebrant Talk Show! This time Josh and Sarah chat about the annual registration fee (pay yours now!), the review of the marriage forms, the epic funeral course Sarah went on...
Five easy SEO hacks you can do that are driven by research
Everyone knows a guy who knows a guy who can get you on the front page of Google. I’d argue that you might not want to be on the front page of Google for everything, but it doesn’t hurt for the right people to be able to find you.
In this article I’m not going to add to the SEO noise, you can read a million articles about SEO practises and there are even more people willing to take your cash to make it work for you.
But if you don’t mind kicking around the shed that is your website, here’s a check list of things you can change or improve on, and they’re backed up with good research. As opposed to the standard old wives tale SEO advice that most people’s parent’s next-door neighbours are dishing out.
Celebrants (and creatives) are not paid per hour
I believe with all my mind, body, and soul, that service people aren’t paid per hour, they’re paid for how much value they bring to that hour. So here’s my July challenge for all celebrants …
What does Queensland BDM email people after their marriage is registered?
I’ve been telling couples that after their marriage ceremony the Queensland Births, Deaths, and Marriages will email them with “an opportunity to order their marriage certificate” but I had not actually seen one of those emails yet. I’m guessing you hadn’t either.
So here’s what the Qld BDM emails after you register a marriage online with them:
What does our annual registration fee pay for?
After a chat with some other celebrants recently, it occurred to me that I had no idea what our annual registration fee actually goes towards other than a vague concept of it supporting the Marriage Celebrants Programme. What benefits do we receive in return for our compulsory registration fee?
Sharing ceremony content
Jeff asks: I share my ceremonies with my couples using Google Docs. Every once in awhile I have a venue coordinator or wedding planner request access to the document, to which I normally deny access by kindly emailing them directly asking if I can help them out with anything specific. I kind of feel like there’s no reason for them to need to see the ceremony or have access, especially if it’s a venue I’ve been at a bunch of times. I would never request access to their day-of timeline they’ve created, that’s their business…
24 ways you give the rest of us an advantage (or, Liene brings the fire)
Liene at Think Splendid has dropped some absolute fire on the wedding industry today. I love this. You should read the piece and follow her links for context, but here’s the drop:
Who are the wedding awards for?
Iām sitting in a cafe in Queenstown sitting next to a table of people I donāt recognise, but judging by their conversation, theyāre actresses from the USA who have varying thoughts about the Tony Awards.
Visa/residence requirements for marrying in Australia
I have a groom whose status in Australia is as a ‘permanent resident’ which was granted last year. (He is from the UK.) To be sure to satisfy both myself and also the couple, this status does NOT require any additional paperwork/applications etc to legally marry here in Australia, correct?
Your priorities are visible
Some emails get quick replies from me, others have to wait a week. Sometimes I’ll go a few days without posting on social media, but I haven’t missed a wedding yet. I have a simple set of priorities in my life. My family, Britt and Luna, are first. Second is a marriage ceremony, third is my friendships and wider community and family. Fourth is sales and marketing, and replying to enquiries. Fifth is the admin side of the business, and sixth is tidying up my office.
Start how youād like to finish
Brittās grandma always said that you should start how you want to finish.
The stories youāre forgetting to tell on social media
Your stories are more powerful than you think. This article is about sharing the stories about you and your celebrancy that you’ve forgotten to share.
How to change what address appears on your AG Register listing
As a follow-up to my recent post about a super easy and free advertising platform for Australian celebrants, this is how you can change which address is displayed in your listing. As mentioned in that post, I only display the suburb I live in, as I'm not interested in...
The easiest and cheapest advertising platform for Australian celebrants
I’m staggered how many celebrants are not accessing this simple and completely free advertising platform!
Shut down the myths around getting married and hiring a celebrant
I’m flying to Europe soon and I’ve put in for a first class upgrade. On Qantas you can apply for an upgrade and it costs you thousands of frequent flyer points. That’s how you fly first class, either that or you pony up the cash for it. In the history of flying the smallest handful of people have been upgraded to first class on a whim.
But if you talk to most people that don’t fly that often they will share the myth that if you are dressed well, looking sharp, feeling pretty, and you are nice to the check-in staff, the boarding staff, and the cabin crew, that you will hopefully be chosen for an upgrade.
That’s the problem with the areas of life that we don’t touch on often, they’re filled with mystery and intrigue …
What exactly is a Commissioner for Declarations?
On page 4 of the NOIM, in the tiny font underneath the signature panels, there is a list of people who can witness the signatures of the parties on the NOIM. There's a rather confusing entry in this list for people who can witness the signatures on a NOIM signed in...
Celebrant numbers at 10 June 2019
How many celebrants who perform civil ceremonies decided to become Religious Marriage Celebrants after marriage equality was introduced? I counted in 2018, and I’ve counted again in 2019. Enjoy the fruits of my nerdom!
Simplify your celebrancy practice
In the chaotic and wild adventure that planning and hosting a wedding is I always try to remain a calm, cool, friendly face to my couples. This sounds like a great idea, but you need systems and processes to allow yourself to be that cool and calm.
I was inspired recently by Hans Hofmann, the artist, who talked about simplicity as “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” …
Would you follow you?
Would you follow yourself on social media? If you saw that a friend of yours commented on one of your posts so it floated up to your news feed, and you clicked through to your profile, would you follow it?
An example of finding your ‘Almost Nobody’
In a post yesterday I described the hard work of finding your ‘Almost Nobody’. This, I argue, is your life’s work, and something that will forever be changing. A good example of me doing that work in my own business is by filtering out the ‘Everybody’ and making room for the ‘Almost Nobody’ to feel comfortable on my social media.
Almost Nobody, wants you to be their celebrant
Almost Nobody, wants you to be their celebrant and that is really good news. Everybody, wants a celebrant that is nothing like you. This article will help you get that prized enquiry from Almost Nobody!
Sarah is pretty riled up, plus funeral photography
Hi everyone and thanks for tuning in once more! This episode we chat about: ā¢ funeral training and why Sarah continues to attend it, even with her level of experience ā¢ funeral photography: ā¢Ā https://thefuneralphotographer.com.au/...
How to leave a celebrant association
A few recent conversations with celebrants on social media have prompted me to the question: what is membership in a celebrant association for? Traditionally the associations lobbied the Attorney-General’s office, and the BDMs of each state, on our behalf – but that role has diminished seriously in recent years, with individual celebrants getting more done than an association has …
How value is really created
Stop talking, ask questions and listen, and youāll learn about them. In order to think like your customer, you must focus on your customer. Your customer could be a prospect, an existing client, a boss, a co-worker, a friend or family member. Your desire should be to create value for your customer, not just to communicate information about you (or just talk about yourself), your company, products and services, and therefore you need to have walked in their shoes. Before you make your value pitch (in whatever form that takes), a prerequisite is having a deep sense of what your customer values.
How to actually compete with other celebrants
We spend a lot of time looking at other celebrants, but here’s a helpful and practical way to look at your competitors and actually form a competitive advantage.
Tips for a first-time funeral celebrant
I get a lot of marriage celebrants contacting me after theyāve been asked to do their first funeral, asking for advice, information and templates. I thought Iād put all my tips in one place in the hopes that some of you might benefit from them!
Talking āInside Baseballā
“Inside baseball” is one of my favourite Americanisms, it’s a figurative adjective meaning the details are appreciated by only a small group of insiders or aficionados. It usually refers to a detail-oriented approach to the minutiae of a subject, which requires such a specific knowledge about what is being discussed that the nuances are not understood or appreciated by outsiders.
Posting pro photos on social media etiquette
Mark asks, I was hoping you could explain the etiquette for posting photos on your Website, Facebook and Instagram account when supplied by a professional photographer please.
What should I do at a wedding expo?
Hi, I am a new country celebrant with three weddings booked late this year, early next year but none performed so far. I am attending a wedding expo soon ( in the country) and am not sure what to do. I have collaborated with a supplier to use an arbor, have my logo enlarged to easel size and have business cards. But wondering what else I need. I dont have photos of me officiating yet obviously. What information type material should I have with me, what questions do you usually get asked, do I just stand there and smile, “have chockies to reel them in”? Please help!!
Acknowledging sonder
Have you heard of sonder?
The emotional bit, with Vickie Musni
A special guest, Vickie Musni personality trainer, on the podcast this week to talk about the upcoming Celebrant Institute conference where she's talking plus hosting a workshop on how personalities work themselves into your business.
Can we marry people on the water or in the air in Australia?
Elle asks: I have a wedding where I am marrying the couple on a boat, we are all going to get on and cruise for 10mins until the couple get a feeling like yep lets pull up here and then I will do their ceremony, then the boat will carry on for couple of hours whilst everyone has drinks, food and watches the sunset. So in regard to Location of marriage on paperwork, NOIM and Marriage Docs as I wonāt know the coordinates until we literally pull up, do I just write the coordinates in quickly before I call everyone in to kick ceremony off or can I fill when we go to sign docs? And am I just writing the coordinates, or do I need to put the boats name also?
Money, money, money
In this episode we discuss being a full-time celebrant, off the back of the results of the annual CoCA celebrant survey and a subsequent article on the ABC FNQ website.
Getting the deposit paid
Veronica asks: How to you get clients to pay the booking fee, without sounding desperate or annoying?
How to make a great ceremony without a rehearsal
Tori asks: I would really love to hear from you both (knowing that you prefer rehearsals Sarah, and you don’t tend to do them Josh), what is your approach to ensuring a ceremony runs as smoothly as possible and flows well when couples elect not to have a rehersal? As a new celebrant with just two ceremonies under my belt, I noticed a real difference between the first ceremony which had a rehearsal (with all the bridesmaids and groomsmen), and the second when the couple were quite adamant they preferred to go with the flow on the day. How do you go about still ensuring everyone involved feels comfortable and knows where to stand/where to move to during the ceremony when there is no rehearsal? I had a ‘talk through’ with my rehearsal-free couple and explained a few points to brief their bridesmaids/groomsmen with, but I don’t think this occurred as on the day I could some of the bridesmaids in particular were visibly confused/looked a little uncomfortable not knowing what they were doing. Any tips would be appreciated! Thanks š Tori
Firing a couple
A celebrant friend has been going back and forth with a couple who want a celebrant that’s not her. Maybe they’ve been on the blogs and Pinterest and they’ve decided that this is how you deal with a celebrant, or maybe their friends and family have told them how to act this way, regardless, they are taking themselves on a different customer journey to the one my friend would normally take her couples on.
Today she asks, “should I fire them?”
God bless the Facebook Groups
Hello again everyone! Today Josh and Sarah are actually recording this from the same room! Amazing and awesome. We had a bunch of topics we planned to talk about, but instead it appears we ended up talking about the importance and difficulty of language for almost an...
Change of name by marriage and the NOIM
Some of you may recall this little rant I went on after the updated Guidelines were released last year: "Change of name by marriage:Ā A party who has changed their name by marriage, and retained their previous spouse's surname,Ā must record that surname on the NOIM."...
Taking over a wedding from another celebrant: logistics and money
“A local celebuddy and I have recently been chatting about being a primary back-up celebrant for each other. As a fairly new celebrant, it got me wondering how other people manage replacements when you have to cancel at short notice (or even on the day). Do you ask the new celebrant to use your script (even if it’s very much in ‘your’ voice)? How do you divide payment? Do you partially/fully refund the couple because you’ve not completely fulfilled the contract? What if you’re in a car accident on the way to the ceremony and you have all the paperwork on you?”
Dealing with nerves and stage fright
Cass asks: My question is more of a concern. I already have full time work in the theatre so celebrancy for me was more of a service I wanted to provide for friends and family. I think celebrating love is one of the most beautiful and important things we can do as a society and for me it has always been about the intimacy of the couple. I used to be quite a confident public speaker when I was in high school but now Iām almost 30 I feel absolute terror at the thought of performing such an important task in front of potentially hundreds of people. I know the day is obviously about the couple and not me but I donāt want my nerves to interfere with their special moment. Do you have advice (apart from practice) to combat serious stage fright?
Witnessing the NOIM: how much information is required?
Lauren asks: “I got this question from my bride and I’m second guessing myself! ‘Went up to the police station on Sunday and got this signed, but I just wanted to check before I send you the original…in the qualification section, is it fine that it just says police officer? I only realised when looking at it later that there is no section for the witnessā name or identification number or anything, so hoping this is ok!’
You gotta know when to fold ’em
Hello everyone, and thanks for bearing with us since December! As always, we love being in your ears, and here we are again with another episode of the Celebrant Talk Show Podcast š This episode we chat about:Sarah’s Cert IV training and how it works Marriage Celebrants Matters Autumn newsletterVIC BDM RIOThe Frustrated StateHow to go full-time as a celebrant
Passports: how old is too old?
Sean asks: I know expired passports are okay, as long as they haven’t been cancelled but is there a time limit on that? This one expired in 2012
What do celebrants legally have to say?
Kelly asks: What do we legally have to say? Just read guidelines and act section 45/46 and Iām reading we only need to say monitum and a couple the legal vow. I read/was trained that we have to introduce ourselves as the celebrant with the lucky job of marrying the shit outta the couple before us…but do we actually have to? Iām looking at making my intro less formal and hoping Iāve read it right.
VIC BDM RIO: everything I know
As anyone who’s reading this will be aware, the rollout of the Victorian BDM’s new online registration system, Registry Information Online (aka RIO) has been less than smooth. As I write this I’m locked in a text conversation with our very own Josh; he’s the techiest person I know and even he’s confused. Things that work one day don’t seem to work the next; you ring the helpdesk and get a “solution” that is really just them fiddling around until it suddenly works for no good reason, etc etc etc.
Victorian BDM RIO tutorial
Let’s face it, the new BDM online registration system implementation has not had the smoothest roll-out in the history of tech roll-outs. It’s certainly not a particularly intuitive, user-friendly system, and I’m disappointed at the number of issues with it. However I also know BDM are working really hard to rectify the issues as soon as possible.
How I perform ceremonies without notes or a script
My couples tell me they love it, wedding vendors are always surprised, and other celebrants are always blown away. They are bewildered by my ability to perform a marriage ceremony without a script or notes.
How a real celebrant should read the Guidelines, and other thoughts on marriage celebrancy
The recent post on sighting ID included some powerful language from the Attorney-General’s office:The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants is issued to assist celebrants to comply with the Marriage Act and Regulations. Ultimately it is up to the celebrant to comply with all of the requirements of the Act. I appreciate that some of the language used in the Guidelines is of a directive nature, rather than of best practice nature.Commonwealth Attorney-General’s Marriage Celebrants Section
A massive change to how marriage celebrants can sight ID
For the past six months I have been pursuing a line of inquiry with the Attorney-General’s office Marriage Celebrants Section over the line in the Guidelines section 4.4.2: It is not acceptable for a celebrant to accept a NOIM and/or supporting documents via videoconferencing services such as Skype. Actual documentation must be received by the celebrant.
How to tell an enquiry “It’s not you, it’s me”
Tenielle asks: Hey guys, I’m hoping you can lend me some advice or wording to send to a couple. Met with them on Saturday and whilst they are lovely, the vibe was NOT there. Conversation was really stunted and it didn’t seem like a natural fit from my perspective. I’m really not wanting to take their booking, but I don’t know how to politely tell them, ‘Thanks but no thanks’. I’m especially aware of any legal obligations we have to marry couples and not discriminate against them.I would use the whole, ‘Sorry I’m double booked!’ route, but their date just opened for my bookings and that would be a blatantly obvious lie.
Do you really want that exposure?
On a road near my house there’s a billboard that promises to expose my business to many thousands of people. A similar promise has been made by the producers of Married at First Sight and other TV shows. Everyone wants to sell us exposure. I would argue that exposure is the last thing we need.
Ceremony design process
Veronica has had a pretty rough trot with a renewal couple: They were one of my first bookings after becoming a celebrant. I was really unsure of how a renewal should run…only that it would be similar to a wedding just really without the legals. Since our first meeting in September, I have met with them four times, multiple messages and numerous phone calls. They sent me their desired ceremony plan. Which essentially had me as an MC…introducing a number of speakers and readers. They had also put my name against a couple of tasks. So based on that I wrote a script (as not very good at ad lib) and went to meet with them for a “rehearsal”. They almost tore the script to shreds. They had also added and removed things from their original plan without telling me and wanted to know where I planned on putting these new ideas in the ceremony. Not liking my suggestions and especially suggesting that it was getting a bit long. Decided to sit back and let them decide. We finally came to a mutual agreement and now they want to see my amended script so they can check it all over before finalising.So, feeling a little flattened and that I have had to work exceptionally hard for my fee (which is less than what I charge for a wedding). Did I miss something? Should I have asked questions differently? Really not wanting to go anywhere near Vow Renewals any more. How should I have handled it all?
Vow and ring exchange logistics
Tori asks: I have a logistics question for you around microphones/vow cards/ring exchanges. My first ceremony is fast approaching, and my couple have written their own vows. The plan at the moment is for me to hop out of the way during the vow exchange, leaving them to hold the mic for themselves while they read from their respective vow cards. They like the idea of ending the vows with the ring exchange (e.g. the bride would hold the mic for herself, read from her vow card, and wrap her vows up by presenting her partner with the ring. Then they would swap, and he would hold the mic for himself, read from his vow card and finish it off by presenting her with the ring). My concern is this – doing it this way would leave them with a lot to juggle – holding the mic and their vow card, plus a ring which they will be slipping on the other person’s hand at the same time.Ā I guess my question is this: what do you find works best in the situation – do you tend to always hold the mic for the couple if they are reading from vow cards, or would you just avoid combining the ring exchange in with the vows, and instead let them do the vows with you out of the way and then come back in to feed them their ring exchange wording while holding the mic for them?
The Unofficial Guidelines on the ‘Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants’ for Marriage Celebrants
Deb writes in asking “I appear to get myself into hot water time and time again, by saying that the Guidelines are just that GUIDELINES, and the act and the regs are the actual LAW. Am I right?”
What do I read my ceremony from?
Tori asks: I have my first ceremony coming up in a week and a half (for a good friend), and while I am feeling pretty on top of things overall, I am still trying to work out what I will use to read from on the day. I was hoping you could talk a little bit about your experience/thoughts on using a tablet (which I’ve noticed quite a few celebrants tend to be doing?) VS something like a nice looking binder. Any specific tips/considerations either way (e.g. if you use a tablet, do you find a cover for it that you can tuck vow cards into?), and if you do go the binder/folder route, any ideas for where to buy something appropriate? Last question! If you do tend to use a tablet, do you always have a hard copy as backup anyway?
How to become the celebrant in the know
Anka asks: Iām wanting to start blogging this year and making myself known as the ācelebrant in the knowā within my area with some personality thrown in as well but Iām not sure exactly how to start? Any suggestions or topics?
What’s the go with overseas weddings
Anka asks: Lately Iāve noticed a lot of celebrants on Facebook have started advertising that they can do weddings overseas?? I didnāt think we could? Im presuming they might be just completing paperwork at the airport before they depart? Or did u miss something
Interpreters and translators
Sarita asks: Weāre away at the moment and then the couple in question head away as we get back – so the NOIM will be getting lodged in Jan, with a day to spare.Ā The bride is from China and all her ID is in Chinese.Ā As long as I tell them to get the passport, (birth certificate) & drivers license/ID card interpreted by a NAATI registered interpreter – is that all ok? Just wanted to check Iām not missing anything as itās my first time doing a marriage that will involve an interpreter.Ā
How do I do marriage certificates?
Julia asks “I was just wondering how you all prepare your pretty Form 15s. Does anyone use traditional calligraphy? Hand write? Use a template on a printer?” I’ll answer Julia’s question along with a wider explanation of how I prepare all of my paperwork, including the Form 15.
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