Here’s a fun one for you guys. How do you deal with crying? I’m currently studying and in my performance assignment, my “bride” burst into tears and I realised I was totally unprepared for what I imagine is a very common occurrence. Do I just hand her a tissue and keep going? Do I wait until she regains composure? Do I try cracking a joke? Do I devise a “safe” word with the couple before the ceremony? I don’t want to embarrass anyone by drawing attention to it or making them feel bad about their reactions, but I also want to make sure they have a wonderful ceremony and can be present in the moment. How do long-time pros handle the floods of emotions from the couples – crying, uncontrollable giggling, nervous twitches? I’d love to know your techniques and any other thoughts from celebrants in the comments section.Alison
Personally I’m a big fan of tears in a wedding ceremony, it’s a visible symbol that the couple aren’t dead inside and that the marriage ceremony means something to them.
But as I thought more about this I do have a few things I do to help the moment pass organically.
- If the tears are getting in the way of the person reading their vows and I get the feeling that they can’t get past them, I’ll invite the crowd to show them some love. A round of applause or a cheer sometimes is enough to encourage you forwards.
- If the moment allows I’ll step aside from the ceremony and let the couple hug or kiss and calm each other down. This is real life, no need for me to make it more awkward.
- Finally, if they seem embarrassed by the tears I’ll vocally encourage them, either personally or on the microphone that its ok to cry, that it means they’re human, and that they’re alive and that this matters to them.
How do you work with a party to a marriage ceremony losing their composure? Comment with your ideas below.