Here’s a fun one for you guys. How do you deal with crying? I’m currently studying and in my performance assignment, my “bride” burst into tears and I realised I was totally unprepared for what I imagine is a very common occurrence. Do I just hand her a tissue and keep going? Do I wait until she regains composure? Do I try cracking a joke? Do I devise a “safe” word with the couple before the ceremony? I don’t want to embarrass anyone by drawing attention to it or making them feel bad about their reactions, but I also want to make sure they have a wonderful ceremony and can be present in the moment. How do long-time pros handle the floods of emotions from the couples – crying, uncontrollable giggling, nervous twitches? I’d love to know your techniques and any other thoughts from celebrants in the comments section.
Alison
Personally I’m a big fan of tears in a wedding ceremony, it’s a visible symbol that the couple aren’t dead inside and that the marriage ceremony means something to them.
But as I thought more about this I do have a few things I do to help the moment pass organically.
- If the tears are getting in the way of the person reading their vows and I get the feeling that they can’t get past them, I’ll invite the crowd to show them some love. A round of applause or a cheer sometimes is enough to encourage you forwards.
- If the moment allows I’ll step aside from the ceremony and let the couple hug or kiss and calm each other down. This is real life, no need for me to make it more awkward.
- Finally, if they seem embarrassed by the tears I’ll vocally encourage them, either personally or on the microphone that its ok to cry, that it means they’re human, and that they’re alive and that this matters to them.
How do you work with a party to a marriage ceremony losing their composure? Comment with your ideas below.
Thank you for this – had a teary moment yesterday and let the couple know they could hug – they chose not too, but it was so nice to see the effect a reading had on them.
After 1 episode of the “Groom” crying, at which point I provided him with a handkerchief, and after he dried his eyes he then need to blow his nose, no matter, I had a washing machine at home. Then of course, the “bride” began shedding emotional tears. That’s when I started my rule of having a hanky in each pocket. From then on if it was a 2 hankie wedding it was a GOOD wedding 🙂
I love this as a symbol of a GOOD wedding!!
I love tears at a wedding and I encourage them; before the processional I remind the guests we’re there to celebrate, so they should feel free to laugh at any time, applaud when they feel the urge to do so (or when I tell them to) and even feel free to shed a tear if they feel the need. If it’s a hetero wedding and the groom is standing by my side while I’m saying that, I always turn to him at the end and say “especially you”.
I totally agree with all of Josh’s points. I’ve also been known to mop the tears away and/or blend the bride’s makeup if it needs a bit of a touchup with tears tracked down her face 🙂