Welcome to another enriching episode of the Celebrant Talk Show, where we delve into the inspiring journeys of those who’ve embarked on the path of becoming a celebrant. Today’s episode features Rachel Ivy McDermott-Magrath, known professionally as “The Ivy Aisle,” who shares her captivating story from planning her own wedding to becoming a sought-after celebrant in Gippsland, Victoria.

Rachel’s conversation with us is not just a narrative of her transition into celebrancy but also a beacon of guidance for anyone considering this heartfelt profession. She reflects on the pivotal role her mentor, Sheridan Newham, played in her journey and how her experience with the Celebrant Institute’s comprehensive Certificate IV in Celebrancy program sculpted her skills and confidence.

Moreover, Rachel offers invaluable advice for prospective students, emphasising the importance of embracing feedback, staying resilient, and dedicating oneself to the study. Her insights into creating a personal brand, the significance of building genuine connections with clients, and the nuances of navigating the business aspects of celebrancy are particularly enlightening.

Whether you’re contemplating a career in celebrancy, currently studying, or already in the field, Rachel’s journey is a testament to the joy and fulfillment this profession can bring. Her aspirations to be a prominent name in Gippsland and her dreams of conducting ceremonies in iconic locations like New York and Paris are truly inspiring.

Join us in this episode to discover the passion, challenges, and triumphs of becoming a celebrant, and learn how you, too, can turn your aspirations into a rewarding career.

 

 

Transcript:

Josh
– I sincerely hope that these podcasts with the Celebrant Institute are encouraging for you wherever you are on your Celebrant journey, whether you’re thinking about becoming a Celebrant, whether you’re in the middle of study right now, or you are out there on the front lines doing the hard work of marrying people. I hope these interviews we’re doing with the new Celebrants in this little series is encouraging and awesome. If you’re thinking about becoming a Celebrant and doing the Cert IV, just like Rachel did in this episode, then head to celebrant.institute to find out more information about the Cert IV in Celebrancy. And of course, if you wanna listen to more episodes of this podcast, celebrant.fm is the website. Finally, if you’re a Celebrant who’s out there operating, doing your best work, then first of all, good on you. Second of all, we provide a mentoring and membership aspect of the Celebrant Institute. You get access to all the website blog posts, and also you get 24/7 access, though it might be a little bit sketchy between midnight and 5 a.m., access to Sarah Aird and myself for marriage law help, business help, just wherever you’re feeling like we could speak into your life, you get access to us. And it’s only 10 bucks a month. So join now at celebrant.institute/join.

Rachel
(upbeat music) – My name is Rachel McDermott-MacGrath. I do go by the Ivy Isle, though, for my Celebrant business, because my middle name is Ivy, and it’s a pretty name, so why not? Plus the name Ivy Isle sounds really cool. And I’m from Drouin, which is in Gippsland in Victoria. So I travel all around Gippsland helping people get married, and I’ve been doing it for about a year and a half, yeah.

Josh
– And why on earth do you wanna become a Celebrant? There’s lots of great careers out there. If you talk to any good career counsellor, they’re talking about CEOs and accountants and doctors. What brought you to Celebrancy?

Rachel
– Yeah, wow, so many reasons. I think the first one that made me decide to go into Celebrancy was planning my own wedding. And I honestly had the best time. I never stressed about it at all. It was incredibly enjoyable. And then I realised, well, hey, I’ve already got a degree in creative writing. I want to write stories. I love to write stories, so I can write people’s love stories. And I’m really social. I love a good chat, sometimes too much. And I’m not shy in front of people. I guess that comes from being a teacher for a few years, a high school teacher. So if you can stand in front of a classroom with kids, a big group of wedding guests is not that scary. So yeah, that’s why I dived into it. And I have not looked back, not once.

Josh
– That’s so good. People that listen to these podcasts would probably have heard me say that I feel there’s always two ways that people get into Celebrancy, either because they had a bad experience at their own wedding or at a Celebrant, or they had a great experience. And so it’s awesome to hear you had a great experience. How was your Celebrant experience as a client? Like how did that shape your journey to becoming a Celebrant, a provider of Celebrant services?

Rachel
– Yeah, so funnily enough, my actual Celebrant became my mentor. So the one that was solemnizing my marriage, she became my mentor, and I’m still close to her these days. – Give her a shout out. – Yeah, her name is Sheridan Newham, and she is incredible. I idolise her in every way. And she’s the one that got me into the studying. She gave me a whole bunch of different courses to look into. She said, “Yes, you’ve got this. You are such a good person for this. Go for it.” And she’s just, she’s incredibly creative, and she’s got this incredibly fun energy to be around. So she’s inspiration, absolute inspiration. So that’s Sheridan Newham.

Josh
– That’s so good to hear.

Rachel
– She’s selling everyone. She’s incredible.

Josh
– So good. And how did you go about kind of deciding where to study, how to study? I’m guessing that you, like many people, wasn’t aware that so much went into becoming a Celebrant?

Rachel
– Yeah, no, I had no idea. And now that I’ve done all the work, and obviously now doing all the work as a Celebrant, I really can see the value in why Celebrants do have, I guess, the price on them that they do. A lot of people are a bit like, “But why?” And the amount of work that goes into it, before, during, even a bit after, it’s, you know, I can see why. And yeah, so for me, I was looking into all the different course options that I’d heard about, and I realized that the one I went with seemed to be that little bit of extra in terms of, I guess it was a little bit more thorough, and it also had a funeral aspect to it. And so one day I am looking at expanding into that. So obviously I started with the Celebrant Institute and under Sarah, and it was, yeah, I think I’ve been really, really well informed. I have gone in so confidently to every job, probably because we had so many pracs. And, you know, they really made sure you nailed every single assignment. And it actually turned out to be so worthwhile.

Josh
– That’s so good to hear. There’s such a high rate of people not finishing the Celebrant course across the industry. And so when Sarah and I set out to start, we were like, we thought we just, we can’t have that. It’s a waste of everyone’s time to start a course and to sell a course that you don’t finish. And so, and also, obviously once you finish it, that’s great, but then it would actually be useful to you when you’re actually out in the field. And so that’s really awesome to hear.

Rachel
– Yeah, absolutely. So many things I’ve found are incredibly useful. I’ve barely felt, I guess, surprised by any moment, which is, yeah, it does happen because we work with anyone and everyone, but I feel I’ve been very well prepared. But also during my course, I was always well supported, not just by my mentor, but by the assessors and Sarah herself. Yeah, I think a lot of the time, you don’t actually get to meet the people that create these courses. And she was doing regular Zoom catch-ups and obviously there’s these podcasts that you can listen to with all this information. I’ve got a journal of all my notes from listening to things and scribbling down notes and whatnot. So yeah, so much support. It was awesome.

Josh
– So talking about support, people are listening to this, they’re thinking about becoming a celebrant studying, particularly for the study aspect. What are your thoughts on people going into the study? How would you prepare them? How would you give them a tip, give them some advice to walk into the study and succeed?

Rachel
– Yeah, really good point. So I would say go into it confident, absolutely. And don’t be disheartened when you get feedback that says, you know, to put a little bit more into this or that, because it really will help you. So there was so many times that I got feedback that I felt like, oh, I really thought I nailed that, but I got this feedback and it was something as small as my tone of voice at that part of the prac sounded a little bit too sad for what, you know, celebrating a couple. And I was like, and looking back at it, that was very valuable. So it did feel maybe sometimes a bit disheartening, but then I actually look at it and go, no, I learned so much and it built my confidence so much more redoing things and making sure it was perfect. So now I go into working with actual clients and I feel like I’ve got this, I know I’ve got this. So I would just say, don’t let yourself be disheartened. It is a lot of work, definitely set aside a day, at least of the week where you really dedicate yourself to it. But, and you know, try and get yourself in the zone for studying and set yourself up with your snacks, if that’s what you need or have the right feng shui around you for study time, get into the zone and dive in, have confidence. I think, you know, it takes a really, really brave person to be a celebrant, but I think anyone that wants to do it can do it.

Josh
– It’s really interesting always talking about feedback. You know, like wise, smart people in their fancy books and their, you know, big name podcasts. There was talk about being really open to feedback. Like I think Steve Jobs or Jony Ive of Apple said something around the lines of, you know, feedback. It’s my favorite meal of the day or something like that. It was, they were talking about it being the meal they take every day. And I’ve always been open to feedback, but it’s funny, sometimes when you receive feedback, like you can talk the talk and say, “Hey, please send feedback.” And I’ve received feedback sometimes and it really turns out I haven’t been that open to it. And so when I have finally gotten over myself in whatever situation it might’ve been, and I’ve actually kind of like, you know, almost put the lion to sleep and had a glass of water and a deep breath, the feedback often is really helpful. And I think back to, I was on a TV show a couple of years ago and the director, you wouldn’t believe what the director was doing. They were directing me and it was terrible. (laughing)

Rachel
– My God. How dare they?

Josh
– Yeah, I know. How dare you come to work and do your job? That is terrible. (laughing) And then she actually pulled me aside and she said, “Hey, we all want you to win. “That’s why we’re giving you feedback.” And I’m like, “Oh, so you don’t, “are you not a high school bully?” Sorry, I completely misidentified you as a high school bully as opposed to a professional TV director who actually wants me to be successful on this show. And yeah, it was a real groundbreaking moment for me. Not like I’m any better today. I still suck at receiving feedback. But yeah, like you said, if you can really open your eyes to that, particularly when you’re studying, like I can definitely say of Sarah and everyone else at the Sullivan Institute, we all want you to win. Like none of us take the, I’ve just forgotten the word, not the booking, the enrollment. None of us take the enrollment like, “Ah-ha, oh, another sucker. “Let’s bash ’em into smithereens “so they don’t think about studying anything else ever again. “What a loser.” Yeah, that would be a terrible thing to think of people that are studying. And also, obviously, the celebrancy is, celebrancy studies is one of those things where it’s quite very closely linked to the profession. And we also don’t want that for people joining the profession, but it would be an encouraging good thing. So I’m glad you received that well.

Rachel
– There’s definitely times I was, had to take the walk away and be like, “What sort of feedback was that?” And it was never bad, never. It was always so helpful. But I tried really hard and then I was like, “No, I thought I nailed it.” But I’d have a quick breather, come back and go, “Oh yeah, no, they’re right.” And it made me a lot better.

Josh
– So I love talking about taking these skills to market. I’m making the assumption that once you graduated, the application process took what it took and you got your email saying you’re all G. And from there, let’s talk about branding, marketing, but also the thing I’m most passionate about, product. The actual thing you’re actually selling. When someone pays you a dollar, what do they get? And what was your plan to take yourself to market like that?

Rachel
– Yeah, I actually think there was an assessment that really helped me with that as well, which I don’t think when I’ve spoken about courses, I’m not sure every course actually helps with that, but I found there was one towards the end that actually helped me really start getting into that mind frame. And that’s where I thought to reach out to my mentor and I asked her to introduce me to other celebrants and she got me into some social media groups with other celebrants, which then became, I guess my sounding board for ideas. And I even posted different logos and stuff in there to get feedback. But my mentor came up with the idea of the Ivy Aisle because I often, 50% of the time go by the name Ivy. And she’s like, “I had this crazy dream one night when we had both just done a wedding nearby, we went out and hung out afterwards and you were going by the name the Ivy Aisle.” And I was like, “That is it, that is my name.” And just from there, and then I had this assignment, just from there, I just started, I guess, this creative explosion in my mind. And I just went straight into looking into different types of websites that I could create stuff on. I found one that I felt really comfortable with, which was Squarespace. I know other celebrants use it, so I could pick their brains being like, “How did you get this to work?” and whatnot. But it’s really simple for me. And I then went into, well, the Ivy Isle, and I love plants and green, so everything’s green. I really love that fresh, natural vibe to it because it’s the vibe I’m trying to bring to weddings is that real natural down to earth sort of vibe. So I guess it all started working together from that moment. And I mean, ultimately celebrants, it sounds crazy, but we are sort of selling ourselves, are we not? You know, you want people-

Josh
– 100% you’re selling yourself, yeah. – Yeah, yeah, you’re 100%. So selling yourself and you want people to just feel a connection with you. So I say to my couples, I do a sort of meet and greet, no obligations type of situation, because I think vibe, and I’m sure most, if not all celebrants could agree on this, the vibe you have with your celebrant is a make or break for your wedding because you don’t want to feel like there’s a stranger standing there talking about you and this person you love as if they’ve known you for years. You want someone to be standing there as if they actually do know you. So I really try and make that connection first before I expect them to make any commitment so that they go into it feeling like, hey, she’s a friend, she gets me. Because they’re entrusting me to a lot. They’re telling me a lot about their love life and their intimate details. And that for some people is confronting. So they need to feel comfortable with who they’re working with. And that’s my aim. So I sell myself as crazy as it sounds as a third wheel to their relationship, as their friend. – Yeah, now I don’t know if you’ve read any more stuff of the Rebel’s Guide blog, but I’ve talked to her about with, you know, if you get a really good deal from your wedding furniture provider and like, and it’s a good furniture, and it’s a good deal, and you meet the person, like, ah, they’re a douchebag. Like, well, you know, you can kind of, if your wedding furniture guy is a douchebag, you can just live with that. And, you know, and there’s various suppliers that, you know, the person who owns the property, like, ah, they’re a bit of a douchebag, but we just don’t really gel, you know, politically or whatever. And like, yeah, well, you can kind of get by. But there’s people like, particularly your photographer and your celebrant, and like, they are in your face. Like, you probably spend more time with your photographer at a wedding than you do your partner, because they spend time with you getting ready. And then your celebrant, to the same degree, but much more intensified, for like, you know, half hour, whatever it might be, they’re kind of, they are the voice of this bit, the bit you invite everyone to. You know, the time that’s on the invite is for the ceremony, and there’s this really valuable, important thing happening. And yeah, you get a vibe with this person, which is why I don’t really, I really struggle with the idea of the whole wedding is awards. Because if they say, you know, Josh, this is number one, I’m like, what does that mean? What is it like, number one for like, Jack and Sally? But like, what about Todd and Samantha? What do they, it doesn’t really mean anything. So yeah, I’m glad you’ve identified that early.

Rachel
– Yeah, absolutely. And I think one of the really important things for people to recognize once they do graduate, you know, it is hard to build up. You’re building up pretty much from ground zero. And you know, you’re gonna have people that will say that you’re not their vibe, and that’s okay. You just have to accept that, yeah, you’re not for everyone, and that’s normal, we’re human. But the people that you do vibe with, they will book you because they will have that connection. So I’ve definitely had my fair share of people say, no, decide to go elsewhere. And I will always say, I hope you have your dream day. Because honestly, everyone still deserves their dream day. I would love to be part of it. (laughs) But if it’s not right, it’s not right, and that’s okay. You just, you find, you start attracting particular couples anyway. So it works out okay, yeah.

Josh
– Yeah, yeah. And look, I’ll turn this around, just make this a little bit of a mentoring session. Hopefully it will help some people.

Rachel
– Yeah.

Josh
– You’ve 100% gonna be okay with people saying no to people, and people saying no to you. But equally, and probably like 1% more, like 51%, 49%, you’ve gotta be okay with saying yes to people, and charging a good fee, and being paid that fee, and like, this is normal, like people want me. (laughs) You know, like I’ve, I was just coaching a friend earlier today through an issue with their business. And I’m like, it’s okay for people to pay the fee, and you do the thing, and for that to be good. (laughs) Which it sounds like a silly thing to kind of coach someone, but like, you know, we get all up in our heads sometimes. We get all, no, unless of course you’re mentally perfect, Rachel, then this is maybe for someone else’s sake. But, (laughs) it’s okay to be chosen by couples. And you know, like, I’m so blessed, I’m so lucky I get inquiries from around the world. And people always inquire about that, like, how do you get that? I’m like, I don’t know, man, I’m just really honest about who I am. And I put that out, and people say, yeah, that’s me. And then next minute I’m doing their wedding in Paris. Like, I’m not advertising destination weddings, I’m just advertising Josh, and just letting them know who I am, and what’s important to me.

Rachel
– Yeah. – And that vibes with people.

Josh
– Yeah. – So it’s good.

Rachel
– And I think that definitely does vibe with a lot of couples out there. They just, they like the transparency. But I, you know, I couldn’t agree more with what you were saying about being okay with charging people, because I guess a lot of people become celebrants, because they are very friendly, outgoing people. And then you build this connection, and I’m not gonna lie, I get a lot of guilt sometimes. I feel like, oh, but they were so cool. I feel really bad being like, hey, here’s my fee, or I need to charge you this much extra for travel. The travel, extra travel fee seems to be the one that I sort of struggle a little bit to, I guess, get on top of. So that, I could not agree more with that advice. I am starting to get a bit more of a backbone around it, but that has been one of the harder aspects for sure. For sure.

Josh
– Well, we’ll extend the mentoring session for another 30 seconds, and I’ll give you this advice.

Rachel
– Yeah.

Josh
– ‘Cause I had travel fees. I think travel fees are an impediment to a commercial relationship. Like, I absolutely hate it. I hate buying things in America ever, because it doesn’t matter what you’re buying. You’re like, oh, it’s $100. Cool, I can do $100 for that. And then you get a bit like, oh, it’s 115, ’cause of this tax. And then go through, you’re in a restaurant, like, yeah, it’s an extra fee. Actually, I went somewhere the other day. I was in New York, and the, you know, I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but they have the default tip options. So you can manually say, you know, whatever percent. Or they’ve got, they have defaults. And their defaults started at 25%. I’m like, dude, 25%. You’re already a pricey restaurant. (laughs) And so I don’t, I just like knowing what something is.

Rachel
– Yeah.

Josh
– And, yeah, like, I’d rather you say it’s $150 than say it’s 100 plus sales tax and plus tip.

Rachel
– Yeah.

Josh
– And so, coming back to the travel fee, my advice for anyone with travel fees is not to say fee plus travel fee, but just say this is my fee. And so I remember the first time I ever did a Sydney wedding being based on the Gold Coast. It was because instead of saying fee plus travel, I just said, here’s my Sydney fee. And the Sydney fee was magically, you wouldn’t believe it, the same number as fee plus travel fee, but because it was just communicated as fee, it was great. And people, I’m a, people find it much easier to swallow.

Rachel
– Yeah, yeah, no, that makes complete sense. ‘Cause I often have couples ask me, are there any extra hidden costs? And I’m straight out like, no, no, where you are, it is what it is and don’t stress. Everything that is written there is a part of the package, is a part of the package, there’s nothing more to it. But yeah, the travel one I do feel is tricky. So it must be something I might start looking to re-evaluating. I really appreciate the advice, so thank you.

Josh
– Well, look, it’s been really interesting to hear about your journey into becoming a celebrant, why you became a celebrant. And onwards and upwards, like leave us with this, what’s your big audacious goal? Like where do you hope to be in five, 10 years?

Rachel
– I hope to be absolutely smashing it full time, marrying lovers in New York and Paris. That’d be amazing. I really hope that I am just your go-to name down in Gippsland, to be honest. I would absolutely love to be that celebrant people like, have you seen Rachel from the Ivy Isle? Oh my gosh, she is it. That is my absolute goal.

Josh
– Love it. Well, I wish you all the best in that. And I think you’ve got a real hot chance of achieving that goal, mainly because you know what it is. So 10 points.

Rachel
– I’m already kicking goals. I’ve been setting goals each year, I’ve been kicking them so far, so smashing it, I’m loving it.