# Celebrant Institute
> An Australian celebrant's best friend for life
### Instagram is about to impact your SEO
Instagram has always felt like a bit of a closed shop when it comes to being found, aka search, aka search engine optimisation. Great for visibility inside the actual Instagram app, sure, but outside? Crickets.
That’s about to change.
From 10th July 2025, Instagram will start letting Google and other search engines index public content from professional accounts. In plain terms: your posts, photos, and videos could start showing up in Google searches. Not just your profile — your actual content.
if you're 18 or over
if the account is of the type "professional"
if the account is set to public
For Australian wedding celebrants, photographers, florists, stylists, planners — anyone working in weddings — this is more than a nice-to-know update. It’s a moment to treat your Instagram feed like part of your website.
Here’s what you need to know, and what to do next.
What’s changing?
Until now, Google could find your profile, but not much else. The individual posts, videos, carousels — they were all locked inside the app.
Now, if you run a professional account and your posts are set to public, those posts may start appearing in search results. If someone Googles “elopement celebrant Hobart” or “boho wedding ceremony ideas,” and you’ve got relevant content on Instagram, that content could show up — even if they’ve never followed you.
This is similar to what already happens with YouTube and TikTok content showing up in search results. Instagram’s just joining the game.
Why this matters (a lot)
1. Your content can finally work harder
Instagram’s feed algorithm is fickle. One post might get seen by 2,000 people, the next one by 200. Now, your content could keep working well beyond the first 48 hours. If someone Googles a phrase that matches your caption or post, you might pop up.
2. It brings SEO and socials closer together
We often treat Instagram as separate from our website. But now they’re merging — at least in the eyes of Google. Your captions, bios, and alt text all matter more.
3. It gives smaller operators a bigger shot
This update doesn’t just help the big players. If you’re a solo celebrant in regional NSW or a florist in Perth with a thoughtful Instagram strategy, you can be just as visible as someone with a huge following.
How to get your Instagram ready
✅ Write better captions
Treat your captions like little blog posts. Include real keywords — phrases people might actually search for — and give your posts some context.
Bad: “Can’t believe this day! 💕”
Better: “A sweet summer wedding ceremony at Avalon Beach. I helped Tom and Jess write their own vows — it was intimate, relaxed, and full of meaning.”
✅ Use your bio wisely
Make sure your name, handle, and bio include clear, relevant info. Example: “Cairns wedding celebrant for modern lovers” is better than “Here for the good vibes ✨”.
✅ Add alt text to images
Instagram lets you write custom alt text. Use it. Describe what’s in the image, include the couple’s names (with permission), the setting, or the vibe. It helps both with accessibility and search indexing.
✅ Keep your branding consistent
Think about colours, fonts, tone of voice, even emojis. It helps create a recognisable thread across all your content, which Google likes.
✅ Link out to your website
If people discover you via Google and land on your Instagram, what’s the next step? Make it easy. Use your link-in-bio to guide them to your contact form, pricing, or more info.
Should you opt out?
Unless your Instagram strategy is built around exclusivity or privacy (e.g. private elopement content), you’ll want to stay opted in. There’s little downside, and a lot of visibility upside.
A shift from “posting” to “publishing”
This update is a nudge — or maybe a shove — to stop treating Instagram like a fleeting platform. From now on, your grid is part of your digital footprint. Think less “throwaway” content, more “what will this look like in search results in six months?”
If you’ve been putting all your SEO energy into blogs and websites, that’s still smart. But don’t sleep on Instagram. It’s about to be another tool in your SEO kit — and a bloody powerful one.
### Does membership include insurance?
One of the questions we get asked regularly at the Celebrant Institute is:
“Does your membership include professional indemnity and public liability insurance?”
It’s a fair question—especially when other celebrant membership groups or associations include insurance as part of their offer.
The short answer is: no, we don’t include insurance. And here’s the longer, more thoughtful explanation why.
1. You’re not a one-size-fits-all celebrant
You’re an independent professional running your own business, with your own needs, risks, and goals. Some celebrants do ten weddings a year in backyards and beaches. Others do 100+ across multiple states with staff and gear. Some do funerals, naming days, and corporate events.
Because of that variety, a one-size-fits-all insurance policy doesn’t serve all of our members equally. We’d either be underinsuring some of you or forcing others to pay for coverage you don’t need. And that doesn’t sit right with us.
We believe it’s more appropriate—and more responsible—for each celebrant to get the specific cover that suits their work.
2. Including insurance would more than double your membership fee
We’ve done the research. We’ve asked the brokers. We’ve crunched the numbers. And if we wanted to include even a basic level of insurance for all members, we’d have to at least double the cost of membership.
That’s not the kind of decision we’d want to bake into the fee and sneak past you.
Instead, we keep the Celebrant Institute membership affordable and focused on the things we know provide real value:
Business and ceremony resources
Professional development
Legal and compliance guidance
Coaching and support
Tools and templates that save you time and money
And we trust you to make the right choice when it comes to your own insurance.
3. We’re not a volunteer-run association—we’re a business
This is a big one. A lot of people assume we’re a not-for-profit association like some other celebrant groups. But we’re not.
The Celebrant Institute is a private company, owned 50/50 by Sarah and I. We’re two working professionals—Sarah and Josh—who draw a wage from the work we do. We run the Institute with care, energy, and professionalism because it’s our job, not a side project we volunteer on.
Your membership fee funds Sarah and I to:
be on-call to answer your questions seven days a week, 52 weeks a year.
provide the free monthly email to you and all your celebrant colleagues one the first day of each month.
liaise with the Attorney-General's office on celebrancy and marriage law issues on your behalf.
write all the helpful articles you love on this website.
advocate for marriage law reform in the best interests of our members and a modern Australian society
create the Celebrant Talk Show podcast
Because we're focused on doing real and meaningful work as a for-profit company that means we don’t get access to the kind of community organisation insurance policies that not-for-profits can sometimes offer. And we don’t have free labour from volunteers to offset costs. If you see work from the Celebrant Institute know that everyone is paid fairly.
We believe in being upfront about that. Transparency matters.
So what should you do about insurance?
If you’re a working celebrant, you 100% should have public liability and professional indemnity insurance. It’s smart, it’s safe, and it’s often required by venues.
There are a number of brokers and providers who specialise in celebrants and small businesses. Sarah and I tend to recommend Duck for Cover but we also recommend doing your own research and perhaps talking to a broker.
If you’ve got any questions about this—or you’re still unsure what kind of coverage you might need—just reach out. We’ll always point you in the right direction.
### Submissions requested on new Happily Ever (before and) After brochure text
The Attorney-General’s Department is redrafting the ‘Happily Ever (before and) After’ brochure – the one we’re legally required to give to every couple under section 42(5A) of the Marriage Act 1961 – and they want your input.
They’ve made changes to reflect updates to the Act and (hopefully) made it clearer and more useful. Now they’re asking celebrants (that’s us) and other stakeholders to review the draft text and have a say before it’s finalised.
This is your chance to actually shape something that affects your day-to-day work. The more celebrants who give considered, practical feedback, the better the end result will be – for us, and for the couples we serve.
How to get involved
Head to the consultation page: https://consultations.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/heba
Download the draft HEBA brochure (PDF or Word format)
Fill out the survey (text boxes and radio buttons – nothing too painful)
Do it before 11:59pm AEST, Monday 15 September 2025
If you’ve got thoughts on how the brochure could be clearer, more accurate, or more useful, now’s the time to say so.
Why it matters
We hand this brochure to every couple. It should be clear, helpful, and reflect the way we work in 2025 – not 1995. This is your invitation to help lift the standard, not just complain about it later.
We’ll be making a Celebrant Institute submission too, so if you want to contribute to that or discuss it with us first, feel free to get in touch.
Let’s make our voice count.
### 20 Years of Celebrancy Population Stats
The story of marriage celebrancy in Australia over the past two decades is not just a tale of registration numbers — it’s a window into what happens when a regulated profession opens the doors too wide, too quickly, and then spends the next 15 years trying to manage the aftermath.
This is the story of how we went from around 3,600 celebrants in 2001, to over 10,500 in 2025 — and why that number might now be a problem.
The Boom: 2003–2010
In 2003, changes to the Marriage Act effectively removed the previous quota system and allowed any fit, qualified person to register as a celebrant.
Suddenly, the gate was wide open — and people flooded in.
Celebrant Registrations by Year (Selected)
Year
New Celebrants Registered
2005–06
400
2006–07
800
2007–08
940
2008–09
3,000
2009
3,180
By 2010, Australia had about 10,500 celebrants. For comparison, there were just over 3,600 in 2001. The profession had almost tripled — not through organic demand, but through deregulation.
Celebrancy became “the thing to do” for retirees, hobbyists, aspiring creatives, and wedding enthusiasts. There was no bar to entry beyond completing a certificate. And thousands took advantage.
The Correction: 2010–2018
With the flood came the inevitable drain.
Many celebrants quickly discovered that:
Weddings in their locale are seasonal
Booking clients requires real business skills
The annual registration fee bites when you only do one wedding a year
Between 2010 and 2018, the celebrant population declined to roughly 8,800 — a net reduction of over 1,600 celebrants from the 2010 peak.
Key Trends in This Period:
High churn rate: Hundreds deregistered each year due to resignation or non-payment
Applications dropped to 700–900 annually
OPD compliance remained strong, indicating that committed celebrants stayed the course
The “side hustle celebrant” cohort largely walked away. What remained was a slowly stabilising industry made up of part-timers and a small core of serious professionals.
The COVID Era and Its Aftermath: 2019–2023
COVID disrupted everything — especially weddings. But instead of shrinking, the celebrant pool grew during this period:
Year
Registered Celebrants
2018
8,800
2019
9,110
2020
9,269
2021
9,982
2022
10,127
2023
10,390
Some of this growth may have come from people pursuing celebrancy during lockdowns — seeking meaning, community contribution, or simply an alternative income stream. But cracks started to show:
OPD compliance began to slip
Applications were steady, but not growing
De-registrations due to non-payment remained high
The Present Plateau: 2023–2025
Today, there are an estimated 10,576 Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants in Australia (as at June 2025). That’s essentially flat growth from the year before. The churn rate has steadied, and fewer new celebrants are entering the profession.
Recent Highlights:
2024–25 (YTD): Over 800 applications received, the lowest since 2005
De-registrations (YTD): just under 500 celebrants left, mostly due to resignation or non-payment
OPD compliance (as at June 2025): Approximately 19.6% — not officially published, but aligns with historical trends of low mid-year completion
Interpretation: We’ve reached peak celebrant. From here, numbers may decline or hold steady. But growth? That era is over.
The Real Story: Quantity ≠ Quality
Let’s be blunt: 10,576 is a bloated number.
There are nowhere near 10,000 active celebrants doing regular ceremonies. The real number of engaged, professional, full-time celebrants is likely closer to 1,000–1,500. The rest are:
Hobby celebrants doing one wedding a year
Friends who became celebrants for one couple
Burnt-out operators who haven’t resigned yet
This isn’t just a numbers problem — it’s a messaging and market perception problem. Couples don’t know how to tell a good celebrant from a not-so-good one. And with so many names on the register, the truly great celebrants are harder to find.
What Comes Next?
Here’s what I expect over the next 5 years:
Total celebrant numbers will decline slightly — due to natural attrition and fewer applications
The professional celebrant will stand out more — if they brand and position themselves wisely
The department will be forced to rethink OPD and admin systems, which are clearly under strain
Couples will need better tools to find, compare, and trust celebrants — and that might need to come from us, not the government
This isn’t a doomsday piece. It’s a call to clarity. The celebrant program isn’t broken — but it’s clogged. And those of us who’ve built sustainable, meaningful celebrancy businesses need to lead by example.
Charge properly.
Do your OPD and your own personally sourced PD.
Market ethically.
Make really good ceremonies.
Help couples see what great looks like.
Because in a crowd of 10,000 names, authenticity, professionalism, and artistry still shine the brightest.
### The Website Layout That Actually Gets You Bookings
After fifteen years in this game and helping countless celebrants through the Celebrant Institute, I’ve seen brilliant celebrants struggle to get enquiries whilst mediocre ones with well-structured websites book out months in advance. It’s not about being the best celebrant—excellence certainly helps—it’s about understanding how couples actually behave when they’re hunting for someone to marry them.
Most of us think about our websites the wrong way. We organise them like we’d want to read them, not like a stressed-out couple scrolling through their fifteenth celebrant website at 11pm on a Tuesday night, trying to find someone who doesn’t make them want to elope to Vegas instead.
Here’s what I’ve learned about website structure that actually converts browsers into bookings, and why the order of your content matters more than you probably realise.
The Brutal Truth About First Impressions
Your homepage has about the same amount of time to make an impression as you do when you walk up to start a ceremony—maybe thirty seconds before people make a judgement. The difference is, at a wedding, they’re stuck with you. On your website, they can click away to someone else faster than you can say “dearly beloved.”
I’ve watched couples browse celebrant websites over their shoulders, and here’s what actually happens: they scan your main headline, glance at your photo, scroll down quickly to see what else is there, then either close the tab or slow down to actually read something. That entire process takes less time than it would take you to introduce yourself at a wedding fair.
This is why your headline can’t be about you—it has to be about them. “Experienced celebrant serving the Gold Coast” tells them nothing about whether you understand what they want. “Ceremonies that feel like you, not like everyone else’s wedding” immediately signals that you get it. You understand they don’t want cookie-cutter.
The Psychology of the Scroll
Here’s something most celebrants don’t realise: couples don’t read websites, they scan them whilst making snap judgements about whether you’re “their kind of person.” This means the order of your content creates a narrative about who you are before they’ve read a single paragraph.
Think about it like setting up for a ceremony. You wouldn’t put the signing table in the middle of the aisle and ask guests to walk around it to get to their seats. Every element needs to flow naturally into the next. Your website works the same way—each section should naturally lead to the next whilst building trust and connection.
Start with that killer headline and photo, then immediately show them what success looks like. This might be a gorgeous image from a recent ceremony with a quote from the couple about how you made them feel. You’re not telling them you’re good—you’re showing them what good looks like.
The Trust-Building Sequence That Works
Once you’ve got their attention, you need to build trust fast. But here’s where most of us get it wrong—we think trust comes from listing our qualifications and experience. Couples don’t care that you’ve done 500 weddings unless they understand what makes your 500 weddings different from another celebrant’s 500 weddings.
Instead, tell them why you do this work. Share the moment you knew celebrancy was your calling, or describe what lights you up about creating ceremonies. When couples understand your motivation, they start to trust your intention. And when they trust your intention, they’re much more likely to believe you’ll care about their ceremony as much as they do.
Follow this immediately with social proof, but make it strategic. Don’t just dump five-star reviews—choose testimonials that tell stories about the experience of working with you. The review that says “Josh made our ceremony feel so natural and personal that our guests kept asking if we wrote everything ourselves” is worth ten reviews that just say you were “professional and friendly.”
Services: Stop Listing, Start Painting Pictures
This is where I see so many celebrants lose potential bookings. They list their services like items on a restaurant menu instead of helping couples imagine what their wedding day will actually feel like.
Instead of “I offer traditional and contemporary ceremonies,” try something like “Whether you want your guests laughing through heartfelt stories about your relationship or sitting in reverent silence as you exchange deeply personal vows, we’ll create a ceremony that feels authentically you.”
See the difference? One tells them what you do, the other helps them imagine how they’ll feel. Couples hire celebrants based on emotion, then justify the decision with logic later.
For each type of ceremony you offer, paint a specific picture. Describe the moment when the couple realises their ceremony is unfolding exactly as they’d dreamed. Help them imagine their grandmother wiping away tears or their best mate struggling not to laugh at the perfect inside joke you’ve woven into their story.
The Process Section: Removing Fear of the Unknown
One of the biggest barriers to enquiry is couples not understanding what working with a celebrant actually involves. They’ve never done this before, and the unknown feels risky when you’re planning the most important day of your life.
Walk them through your process step by step, but make it feel exciting rather than overwhelming. “Our first meeting is where the magic starts—we’ll sit down over coffee (my shout) and I’ll ask you questions that might surprise you. Not just how you met, but what you love about each other that others might not see. What moments in your relationship still make you smile. What you want your guests to understand about your love story.”
When you describe your process with warmth and specificity, couples start imagining themselves going through it. They begin to see working with you not as a transaction, but as an experience they’re actually looking forward to.
Making Contact Irresistible
Here’s where most celebrant websites completely fall over. The contact section feels like an afterthought, usually just a form asking for basic details and maybe a generic “tell us about your wedding” text box.
Instead, make initial contact feel like the natural next step in getting to know each other. Create multiple ways to connect—email, phone, even a calendar booking system if that suits your style. But whatever you do, make the call-to-action about them, not you.
“Ready to start creating something amazing together?” works infinitely better than “Contact us for availability and pricing.” One feels like the beginning of an exciting collaboration, the other feels like checking items off a shopping list.
Consider offering something valuable upfront. This might be a PDF guide to writing personal vows, a checklist for planning an intimate ceremony, or just a personal email about your approach to weddings. When you give first, couples immediately understand the kind of service they can expect from you.
The Mobile Reality Check
I hate to break it to you, but most couples are browsing your website on their phones whilst hiding from their future mother-in-law’s opinions about centrepieces. If your website doesn’t work brilliantly on mobile, you’re losing bookings to celebrants whose websites do.
Test your website on your own phone regularly. Better yet, ask friends to navigate it whilst you watch over their shoulder. What seems obvious on your laptop might be completely confusing on a small screen. Make sure every important element—your headline, contact information, key testimonials—is easily visible and clickable on mobile.
The FAQ Strategy That Closes Deals
A good FAQ section doesn’t just answer questions—it addresses every concern that might prevent someone from enquiring. Think about the questions couples ask during your initial meetings, and answer them proactively on your website.
But go deeper than the obvious stuff about pricing and availability. Address the emotional concerns: “What if we’re too nervous to speak in front of people?” “What if our families have different expectations about the ceremony?” “What if it rains?”
When you answer unspoken concerns, couples start to trust that you’ve thought through everything they’re worried about. They begin to see you as someone who anticipates problems and has solutions ready.
Creating Momentum Without Pressure
The best websites create a natural momentum towards booking without feeling pushy. This might be as simple as mentioning that you only take a limited number of bookings each year to ensure quality, or showing your availability calendar so couples can see which dates are still free.
Avoid artificial urgency or high-pressure tactics. Couples can smell desperation from a kilometre away, and it damages trust faster than you can say “limited time offer.” Instead, focus on genuine reasons why acting promptly makes sense—popular dates fill up quickly, you get booked well in advance, or you’re planning a sabbatical next year.
The Long Game: Building Relationships Beyond Bookings
Your website shouldn’t just generate immediate bookings—it should build ongoing relationships with couples who might not be ready to hire you today but could become clients or referral sources tomorrow.
Consider adding a blog where you share ceremony ideas, wedding planning tips, or stories from past weddings. This gives couples reasons to return to your website and positions you as a helpful expert rather than just another service provider trying to sell them something.
Measuring What Matters
Here’s something most celebrants never do: they don’t track how their website actually performs. Install Google Analytics and start understanding which pages people visit, how long they stay, and where they leave your site.
More importantly, ask every couple who enquires how they found you and what prompted them to get in touch. This feedback is invaluable for understanding what’s working and what could be improved.
The Bottom Line
Your website is having conversations with potential clients whilst you’re sleeping, travelling, or conducting other ceremonies. Make sure those conversations are as warm, engaging, and persuasive as you would be in person.
When couples land on your website, they should immediately understand who you are, what you offer, and why you’re exactly what they’ve been looking for. More importantly, they should feel excited about the possibility of working with you before they even pick up the phone.
Remember, the couples who become your clients aren’t just hiring someone to tick the legal boxes—they’re choosing someone to help them start their marriage in exactly the right way. Your website should make that choice feel obvious, exciting, and absolutely right.
The best part? When your website does its job properly, the couples who enquire are already sold on working with you. They’re not shopping around for quotes—they’re ready to book the celebrant who clearly gets exactly what they want.
To-Do List
Here’s your step-by-step roadmap for arranging your celebrant website to maximise enquiries. Think of this as your ceremony running sheet, but for converting website visitors into excited couples ready to book you.
Homepage Header Section (What They See First)
Step One: Craft Your Hero Headline Write a headline that speaks directly to your ideal couple’s desires, not your achievements. Focus on the feeling they want, not the service you provide. Test it by asking yourself: does this make my perfect couple think “yes, that’s exactly what I want” within three seconds of reading it?
Step Two: Add Your Supporting Subheadline Expand on your main promise with specific benefits that help the right couples self-select. This should paint a picture of what working with you feels like, using language that resonates with your ideal clients.
Step Three: Choose Your Hero Image Carefully Select a photo that shows you in action during a ceremony, preferably capturing genuine emotion and joy. Avoid posed headshots or generic wedding imagery. Couples want to see you doing what you do, not looking like you’re applying for a corporate position.
Step Four: Position Your Primary Call-to-Action Place a clear, compelling call-to-action button that uses emotion-driven language. Make it impossible to miss and ensure it speaks to collaboration rather than transaction.
Trust-Building Section (Immediate Follow-Up)
Step Five: Lead With Your Why Story Position your “about” section prominently, but structure it as a story about why you became a celebrant and what drives your approach. Share something personal that helps couples understand your values and connect with you as a person.
Step Six: Showcase Strategic Social Proof Follow immediately with testimonials that tell stories and highlight specific benefits. Choose reviews that describe the experience of working with you rather than generic praise. Focus on emotional outcomes and specific moments that demonstrate your skill.
Step Seven: Add Trust Indicators Include any relevant certifications, awards, or professional associations, but don’t lead with these. Position them as supporting evidence after you’ve already begun building an emotional connection.
Services Section (Painting Pictures, Not Lists)
Step Eight: Describe Experiences, Not Services For each type of ceremony you offer, paint a specific picture of what that experience feels like. Help couples imagine their guests' reactions, the emotions they’ll feel, and the memories they’ll create. Focus on outcomes rather than features.
Step Nine: Include Process Details For each service, explain exactly what working with you involves. How many meetings will you have? What happens at each stage? How much input will they have? Specificity builds trust and reduces uncertainty.
Step Ten: Show Rather Than Tell Include images or brief video clips from real ceremonies that demonstrate different styles and approaches. Always obtain permission from couples before featuring their wedding content.
Enquiry Optimisation (Removing Barriers)
Step Eleven: Create Multiple Contact Pathways Offer various ways for couples to connect with you–email, phone, booking calendar, or contact form. Make sure each method feels welcoming and personal rather than purely transactional.
Step Twelve: Offer Value Before Asking Consider providing something useful in exchange for contact details, such as a vow-writing guide, ceremony planning checklist, or personal note about your approach. This demonstrates your expertise whilst building goodwill.
Step Thirteen: Use Action-Oriented Language Frame your call-to-action around collaboration and excitement rather than information gathering. “Let’s create something amazing together” engages emotion better than “Contact for availability.”
Support Content (Addressing Unspoken Concerns)
Step Fourteen: Build Comprehensive FAQ Section Address both practical questions (pricing, availability, inclusions) and emotional concerns (nervousness, family expectations, weather contingencies). Anticipate and answer questions before couples need to ask them.
Step Fifteen: Include Location and Logistics Clearly explain your service areas with maps where helpful. Don’t be overly restrictive–many couples will pay travel costs for the right celebrant. Consider location-specific pages if you serve multiple areas.
Step Sixteen: Add Process Transparency Walk visitors through exactly what working with you involves, from initial enquiry through to ceremony day. Remove mystery and uncertainty by being completely transparent about your approach.
Technical Foundation (Behind-the-Scenes Essentials)
Step Seventeen: Optimise for Mobile Experience Test your website thoroughly on various mobile devices and internet speeds. Ensure all key information is easily accessible without excessive scrolling or zooming. Most couples will visit your site on their phones first.
Step Eighteen: Implement Analytics Tracking Install Google Analytics to understand visitor behaviour–which pages they visit, how long they stay, and where they exit your site. This data will guide future improvements and content decisions.
Step Nineteen: Create Loading Speed Optimisation Ensure your website loads quickly across all devices. Compress images, minimise plugins, and choose reliable hosting. Slow websites lose potential clients before they even see your content.
Ongoing Relationship Building (The Long Game)
Step Twenty: Add Regular Content Updates Consider including a blog or news section where you share ceremony ideas, planning tips, or stories from past weddings. This gives couples reasons to return and positions you as an ongoing resource.
Step Twenty-One: Build Email Capture Strategy Create opportunities to stay connected with couples who aren’t ready to book immediately. This might involve newsletter signup, planning guides, or seasonal ceremony inspiration.
Step Twenty-Two: Monitor and Improve Continuously Ask every enquiring couple how they found you and what prompted them to get in touch. Use this feedback to refine your website structure and content regularly.
Remember, each element should flow naturally into the next, building trust and excitement until contacting you feels like the obvious next step. Your website should feel like the beginning of a relationship, not just a transaction, guiding couples smoothly from curious browser to excited client ready to book their perfect celebrant.
Inspired by this post from the Local SEO Hustlers on Threads
### Should You Pay to Be in a Wedding Directory?
Let’s be honest for a second: the wedding industry has been under this illusion for years that brides and grooms — couples — are scrolling through wedding directories like they’re flicking through the David Jones catalogue circa 1994.
But that’s just not how most people are planning their weddings, finding their vendors, or choosing their celebrant anymore. The idea that a couple sits down and browses ten celebrant profiles on a directory is a fairy tale, and not the cute kind — it’s the one where you realise the wolf was dressed as grandma the whole time and now you’re down $660 a year for the privilege of being in a “Top 9 Celebrants in Geelong” article.
Wedding directories today are not discovery tools for couples. They serve three main purposes — and spoiler alert, none of them are about helping couples:
To suck every last drop of money and attention out of vendors who’ll give it to them.
To provide backlinks and citations for SEO.
To take up valuable search result real estate with SEO-optimised blog posts like “Top 10 Celebrants in Timbuktu”.
Let’s talk about what matters: citations and backlinks, because that’s where the real value might be.
An Email Sarah Got (And You’ve Probably Seen Versions Of Too)
Here’s a real email our Oracle, Sarah, received this week:
Hi Sarah, I hope you are doing well. Just following up on my previous email to check if you would like to secure your spot in the next update of our Top 9 Marriage Celebrants in Geelong article. As mentioned in my previous email, our content is one of the top-ranking resources on Google for popular search terms such as “best celebrants Geelong”, “best marriage celebrants Geelong” etc…
We’ve all seen this pitch. It’s the same breathy tone of urgency and exclusivity that makes you feel like this is your one shot. But don’t believe a salesperson’s hype. My favourite pastime is hanging out in JB Hi-Fi, gently correcting salespeople mid-spiel or catching the customer afterwards to deprogram the nonsense. If we’re ever in a shopping centre together, let’s go JB-spotting. It’s great fun telling people the salesperson is trying to give them a deal on a four year old MacBook.
But back to wedding directories.
What Wedding Directories Actually Offer Today (in 2025)
The only real SEO value of a wedding directory listing comes from backlinks and citations. That’s it. Everything else is lipstick on a pig, or a joyful happenstance.
Let’s break them down.
Backlinks: Are They Worth It?
A backlink is when another website links to your website. If it’s a decent site and the link is contextual (and not spammy or buried in a footer somewhere), it tells Google, “Hey, this person’s website is legit and connected to the topic at hand.”
But not all backlinks are created equal.
Let’s do the maths.
Here’s the Moz domain checker data for the “Top 9 Celebrants in Geelong” article that was being sold to Sarah:
Moz Domain Authority: 21
Moz Brand Authority: 16
Page Authority: 33
Domain Search Theme: Wedding Services in Australia
And here’s the Moz data for Sarah’s website:
Domain Authority: 20
Brand Authority: 13
Page Authority: 25
Domain Search Theme: Wedding and Funeral Ceremonies
These scores are out of 100. Here’s what they actually mean:
Domain Authority (DA): A score predicting how well your website is likely to rank in search engines, based on your backlink profile.
Brand Authority: How strong your brand is across the web (measuring mentions and citations, even unlinked).
Page Authority (PA): Like Domain Authority but for a single page.
Search Theme: Moz’s guess at what your website is about.
So in Sarah’s case, the backlink is pretty even with her existing DA — maybe a slight bump. It’s not a high-authority link, but it’s a relevant one.
But now here’s the kicker: the cost.
The listing is $660 per year.
Is it worth it? That depends on Sarah’s goals. If she’s not regularly getting new backlinks and is trying to improve her domain authority, this could be a decent SEO play. That same $660 might be better spent elsewhere, but it’s not highway robbery.
For comparison, some people are getting backlinks from DA 50+ websites for cheaper. But those don’t always come with brand relevance, and they rarely exist in the wedding vertical.
For reference, my own website — marriedbyjosh.com — now sits at DA 39, and honestly, directories should be paying me for a link, not the other way around.
Citations: What Are They and Why Do They Matter?
A citation is when another website references your business name, address, and/or contact info — even if it doesn’t link to you.
Google uses citations to verify your business exists and operates where you say you do. In the context of local SEO, citations help improve your visibility in map listings and local packs.
Citations can include:
Business name
Address
Phone number
Website
Opening hours
The trick is: many directories don’t use structured data (like Schema.org) properly. That means Google isn’t always picking up that information as a citation. A listing without structured data is like telling Google something important in a whisper — it might hear you, but it might not.
Want to test it?
Grab a wedding directory listing page you’re featured on and chuck it into the Google Rich Results Test. See what Google actually sees.
In Sarah’s case, the site she was listed on did provide some schema — not perfect, but better than nothing. Which means yes, it’s working as a citation and potentially helping her local rankings.
How to Judge if a Directory Is Worth the Money
Step 1: Remove Emotion
This is a commercial decision, not an emotional one. Don’t pay for a listing because it makes you feel “included” or “validated.” That’s a scammy sales tactic that lands you at the right Christmas parties or wedding industry balls, but it doesn’t fill your inbox with enquiries or your bank account with revenue.
Step 2: Look at the SEO Metrics
Check Domain Authority via Moz or Ahrefs.
Use the Rich Results Test to inspect structured data.
Plug the site’s name into Ahrefs or Semrush to see how they rank and what terms they’re ranking for.
Step 3: Consider Your Current SEO Strength
If your own DA is under 10, then a DA 20 link could be incredibly valuable. If your DA is already higher than theirs (like mine), then you’re giving them the juice.
Step 4: Consider Cost vs Return
Would you get $660 of value from that link per year?
If you’re booking even one wedding off the link, maybe yes.
But also consider: you could spend $660 on:
A solid piece of blog content written with SEO in mind
Getting featured on a media site or news outlet
Hiring someone to clean up and improve your Google Business profile
SEO auditing and coaching tailored to your goals (I can help with these last two)
TL;DR
Wedding directories today are mostly:
Salesy, SEO-savvy middlemen
Offering backlinks and citations
Fighting to dominate search results you want for yourself
But they’re not evil — they’re just not your best mate. Think like a business owner.
Ask:
Is this backlink valuable for my current SEO status?
Is this citation structured in a way that Google will understand?
Does the cost make sense when weighed against other marketing options?
If yes — do it.
If not — walk away and keep building your authority in smarter, longer-lasting ways.
You’re not a mug if you’ve paid to be in a directory. But let’s stop pretending they’re doing something they’re not.
You’re building a business with intention. Every dollar should work as hard as you do.
If you ever want to workshop which backlinks to chase, just shoot me a message. Or better yet, let’s go hang out at JB Hi-Fi.
### Josh's 22 Rules On How To Be A Celebrant
Being a celebrant is a strange and wonderful job. You stand in front of a group of strangers, legally authorise a marriage between two of their favourite people, and speak words that might stick in someone’s memory for the rest of their life because the three of you breathed their marriage into life.
It’s intimate, technical, theatrical, performative, wonderful, weird, spiritual, and deeply human — all at the same time.
And here’s my thing: I believe the marriage ceremony can be and should be the best part of a wedding. It’s not a hurdle to get past so people can drink. It’s the reason we’re all gathered. It’s the moment two people make promises to each other in front of their people — and we get to witness it.
Done well, the ceremony is unforgettable.
Done badly, it’s something guests joke about.
So if you’re a celebrant — or you’re thinking of becoming one — here’s a set of rules, or guidelines, or truths that I’ve picked up after marrying thousands of people across more than a decade. These are based on one core idea: this work matters, and it deserves more than reading out a bunch of questionnaire answers and calling it a “personalised ceremony.”
N.B.: These twenty-two rules are my rules, not “The Rules” on how to be a celebrant. Those rules you hopefully know are in the Marriage Act of 1961.
Step One: Get Over Yourself
1. You’re not the main character
The couple is. Their story is. Their promises are. This isn’t your wedding.
Be a spotlight not a burning bush.
2. You don’t know them better than their mum
No matter how charming your coffee catch-up was, you are not their best friend. Don’t pretend to be. Be a respectful, caring, helpful professional celebrant — that’s where your magic is, that’s what you’re good at. Be friends with the couple but at 3pm on Saturday you’re not up there competing for Friend Of The Year.
3. A ceremony isn’t the script
A script makes a ceremony as much as standing in a garage makes you a car.
Build a great script. You can use notes or dot points. You can repeat phrases. You can re-use your best lines. But if you’re just reading back their questionnaire with a few adjectives added, you’re not writing a ceremony — you’re doing copy-paste admin with a microphone.
Not everyone needs to present their ceremonies without script in hand like I do, but learn to deliver the script more like how a professional actor or speaker does, not the way a student reading a notice at school assembly does.
4. Weird is good
The best ceremonies I’ve ever delivered have been odd. Quirky, heartfelt, vulnerable, messy, joyful. Let them be human. Let them be real. Let them be wonderful.
N.B. Here’s something most people don’t know, but every single human on the planet is weird except for me … I’m the only normal one left!
5. Legal doesn’t mean boring
The paperwork matters. The words you’re legally required to say matter. But you don’t have to make it sound like a Centrelink pamphlet.
Make the monitum feel alive. Make it meaningful. Make it right.
Step Two: Be the Grown-Up
6. You are the calm in the chaos
On wedding day, everything might fall apart — the rings, the weather, the family dynamics - or it might not. Regardless of how fall-apart-y it gets you cannot fall apart with it. Be the one person who knows what’s happening and carries the couple through it.
7. Build a system
Your inbox is not a workflow. Your calendar is not a CRM. Build or borrow a system that keeps everything running smoothly so your brain can focus on the couple — not the logistics.
Build a system while you’re quiet so it can hold you when you’re busy.
Your time and sanity can’t scale up but your system and fee can.
8. You’re allowed to charge real money
You are not “just saying a few words.” You’re carrying the legal, emotional, and creative weight of a life-changing moment.
You are valued for being the one who stands still when everything else is spinning. You’re the calm, the witness, the meaning-maker.
You carry the legal, emotional, and creative weight of a moment that will echo for the rest of their lives.
You’ve listened closely for months and years, written with care, stayed up too late reworking a sentence that needs to land just right.
You hold space, hold silence, hold people. You aren’t getting paid per hour. You’re being paid to turn up emotionally, spiritually, soulfully. Price yourself accordingly.
9. Write it. Speak it. Rehearse it.
Don’t just “see how it goes on the day.” Great delivery comes from practice. Even the spontaneous bits are better when they’re built on preparation.
Write them down to insert them into your brain.
Step Three: Make It Matter
10. Speak like a human
No jargon. No cheesy wedding tropes. No “we are gathered here todays” unless you’re doing it ironically. Be warm. Be present. Be real. When we say unexpected and different things in a wedding ceremony: listen, people will.
11. Silence is a tool
Don’t rush. Don’t fill every pause. A breath, a moment, a beat — it helps everyone catch up emotionally.
Breath.
12. Know what this is
This is a marriage. A foundation for life. A public promise. A prophectic voice in a chaotic world. A dream. A hope. All of their intentions tied to an arrow and shot into the future. A moment where two people stop time and say: “It’s you. Always you.”
It’s not a transition between photos and drinks.
It’s not a funeral for the couple’s single lives.
It’s not an “up until now” introduction to the reception.
It is a marriage ceremony.
Treat it like it matters, because it does.
Step Four: Own the Craft
13. Wear something that says “This is important,” not “Look at me.”
Dress like a professional who cares about the couple, the guests, and the moment.
How you dress is barely about what you wear but more about how you present yourself. Hold your head high, smile wide, and let everyone know they’re safe in your hands.
14. Use your voice. Literally.
Train it. Listen to it. Record your ceremonies and cringe if you must, but get better. Your voice is your tool. Use it with care.
Test different microphones and speakers and see how your voice sounds in and through them, how when you hold the microphone differently it sounds different. Learn about sound EQ settings and master the projection and amplification of your voice.
The perfect microphone for me might be different for you.
15. Don’t be funny — be true
If humour happens, let it happen. Be fun but don’t write purely for laughs. Write for connection. Be clever if it fits. Be sincere always.
My mentor when I first entered radio (Stan Hillard, rest in peace) taught me this nugget:
Imagine your audience are the stupidest people alive, then treat them with the upmost respect.
I think about that every day, particularily when I think it might be hilarious to say something in a wedding ceremony and how many people won’t get the joke.
Step Five: Stay in the Game
16. You only need a handful of raving fans to build a career
You don’t need to be booked every Saturday. You need the right couples, the right workflow, and the right price. That’s enough.
Be content with enough.
17. Automate everything that isn’t soul
Emails. Bookings. Payments. Use technology so you can spend your energy on the bit that actually matters — being the celebrant, creating and delivering the ceremony. Embrace AI, automations, gadgets, devices, software all in aid of you being the best celebrant you could be.
18. Keep learning, but stay yourself
Go to workshops. Read scripts. Steal ideas. Prompt ChatGPT for criticism. Ask Sarah and I for advice. But everything you borrow must come through your own voice — or it’s just noise, and we got enough noise.
Pursue excellence. Read books. Listen to podcasts. Find celebrancy inspiration in weird places.
19. Celebrate other celebrants loudly and often
There’s no leaderboard of who is the best celebrant. Generosity wins. Lift the standard. Help new celebrants. And if you see someone doing great work — tell them.
The only reason anyone thinks there is a “best” celebrant is because our lovely clients, who only make good decisions ever, decided that by pure happenstance, the celebrant they booked and paid for is the best.
I’m not ridiculing that process, just the idea that any of us could think too highly of ourselves when we’re each so beautifully different and weird.
20. You’re not just in the wedding industry — you’re in the memory business
Couples won’t remember the petals or the playlist. They’ll remember the moment they said “I take you as my…” Help make that moment unforgettable. They’ll forget your words as they’re halfway down the aisle for the recessional but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.
21. You’re allowed to take this seriously
Not solemnly. Not stiffly. But seriously. This matters. The work we do has weight. If you’re in it for the vibes, you’re in the wrong job.
22. This is a calling disguised as a job
You didn’t end up here by accident. Something in you believed that love is worth showing up for. That words matter. That promises should be said out loud. Follow that feeling. It’s telling you the truth.
Want to become a celebrant?
Start with this: care more about the couple than your ego, more about the words than your feed, more about the moment than the performance. And then — go write a ceremony that someone will still be talking about in twenty years.
Need help getting there? You'll want the Certificate IV in Celebrancy.
If you’re thinking about becoming a celebrant, do it, it’s the best gig going.
First published on Josh's blog.
### Add a Celebrant Institute Badge to Your Website
This is something we’ve been asked about since the Celebrant Institute first began — almost seven years ago. Members have long wanted a way to show they’re part of a professional community, but until now, we’ve held back. Honestly, at first I didn't think it would be worth anything to anyone - as if a couple getting married would know who the Celebrant Institute is; and I also stressed about people using the badge without being current members.
So why now?
Because the internet is changing fast. In April, for the first time in history, Google searches declined on Apple devices. That’s not just a blip — it’s a signal that search behaviour is shifting, and fast. Generative AI search is becoming more common. Local SEO is more competitive than ever. And in this new era, citations, trust signals, and structured connections between entities are how you stay relevant.
That’s why we’ve created the Celebrant Institute Membership Badge — not just for vanity, but for visibility, credibility, and strategic positioning. To help increase your visibility when people are searching for a professional celebrant.
When you’re a current member, you can now add this badge to your website, homepage, footer, or “About” section. It helps your couples, it helps your SEO, and it helps the profession. We're proud to launch it to you today.
🔍 SEO & Website Performance Benefits
1. Outbound Link to a High-Authority Site
Linking to the Celebrant Institute as a current member shows Google, Bing, ChatGPT and the AI chat bots that your business and website is connected to a trusted, industry-relevant organisation and we share the same values. This helps build your credibility in Google’s eyes through stronger E-E-A-T (Experience, Expertise, Authoritativeness, Trustworthiness) signals.
2. Improves Content Signals for Google
The badge’s alt text and image title in the HTML code reinforce that your site is about a professional celebrant. That extra context supports your overall SEO efforts, especially when paired with proper schema markup and local optimisation via your Google Business Profile.
3. Increases Time on Page / User Confidence
When visitors click the badge and explore what the Institute is, they’re spending more time on your site — or bouncing to a page that builds your credibility. Either way, it supports better user engagement and authority perception.
✅ Credibility & Social Proof
4. Third-Party Validation (Trust Signal)
Much like a “TripAdvisor Winner” or “Shopify Certified” logo, this badge shows you’re part of something official and professional. It tells your visitors that you invest in your practice and belong to a recognised community of celebrants.
5. Differentiates You From Hobby Celebrants
Not every celebrant invests in ongoing education or belongs to a professional body, in fact most don't. Even the largest celebrant association has a fraction of the total number of celebrants. This badge makes it clear that you take your work seriously — and you’re staying current with the legal, practical, and creative parts of the job.
6. Creates a Perception of Professional Standards
For potential clients comparing celebrants, this small visual cue can tip the balance. It shows you’re part of something bigger — an industry that values integrity, learning, and quality standards.
🧠 Psychological Triggers
7. Authority Bias
We all lean towards trusting people who are backed by institutions. If a couple doesn’t know you yet, this badge makes them more likely to trust you — not just based on your words, but because you’re associated with a respected organisation.
8. Consistency Bias
When a couple sees this badge on more than one celebrant’s site, it starts to set a standard in their mind. “Oh, this is what a professional celebrant does. This badge must mean something.” You’re part of that perception shift.
🛠️ Business Utility & Strategic Positioning
9. Elevates the Celebrant Industry as a Whole
This badge isn’t just good for you — it’s good for all of us. The more celebrants display it, the more we shift public perception: celebrancy is a profession with standards, not a side hustle.
10. Drives Traffic to the Institute
Each badge includes a link to the Celebrant Institute website. That drives traffic and improves our rankings for celebrant-related searches, which means more visibility for the whole community.
11. Great Talking Point in Sales Conversations
It’s more than just a logo — it’s a line in your pitch:
“I’m not just authorised by the Government — I’m a member of the Celebrant Institute, the professional body that supports celebrants in doing better work. That’s this badge you can see here.”
🎯 Marketing & Content Benefits
12. Perfect for Your “About” Page or Footer
Stick it in your site footer, on your homepage, or in your ‘About Me’ section. It naturally complements your testimonials, awards, or “why I became a celebrant” story.
13. Gives You Something to Talk About
This isn’t just a badge — it’s a content opportunity. Post about it on Instagram, write a blog about why you joined the Institute, or drop it into a client newsletter. Tell your story and we welcome you to hitch your wagon to our horse because if you're a member, we share the same professional celebrancy values.
14. It’s Shareable and Clickable
Unlike a certificate on your wall, this badge actually does something. It links to a page that explains what the Institute is — making it interactive and reinforcing your credibility.
📌 Optional Bonus Use-Cases
15. Can Be Used in Proposals or Welcome Kits
Add the badge to your welcome guides or proposals in PDF form. It adds a layer of polish and third-party endorsement without you needing to say a word.
How to Add It
Here’s the HTML snippet to add to your site:
Or if you’re using a platform like Wix, WordPress, or Squarespace and don’t want to deal with code, you can just save this image:
👉 Download the badge image
Then upload it to your site and link it to:
https://celebrant.institute
This badge is a small change that makes a big difference — to your brand, your bookings, and your place in the profession. We’re proud to support you, and we hope you’ll show that pride by displaying your membership to the world.
### New (to me) tech: the reMarkable tablet
I first bought an iPod in 2007, an iPhone in around 2010, and my first MacBook laptop in 2014. It wasn't long before I also had an iPad and an Apple Watch, and my transformation to Apple fangirl was complete.
For the first time since 2014, I have purchased a non-Apple product for my work, a reMarkable Paper Pro, and I AM LOVING IT.
Josh has had one for a while, and the lawyers I consult for all use them for taking notes during meetings, so they've been on my radar for a few years.
I was getting sick of the amount of paper I was burning through for funeral meetings, but I've never loved using my iPad or MacBook for funeral meetings for two reasons: 1) the vertical screen has always felt to me like a barrier between me and the family, and 2) when I'm taking notes for a funeral I will often draw arrows between different things or otherwise annotate my written notes, and that just wasn't working for me with typed notes. Plus I'm a pretty quick and accurate typist, but when I'm in a meeting the typing goes to shit and I spend way too long fixing spelling and grammar errors when I get home rather than just writing the bloody script.
I know plenty of people who record their funeral meetings and use a transcription app like Otter.ai to produce an automatic transcript (so that the meeting isn't held up by them taking notes), but it's never accurate enough for my liking. I also find that the act of writing my funeral notes gets those stories into my head better than just listening to them and reading them, and that makes for a better writing experience for me.
Then there was my paper notebooks - I had two separate ones, one for my celebrant business and one for the RTO, and I would end up taking the wrong one to meetings or workshops, and I hate having the wrong info in the wrong place. Plus I would then need to take photos of my notes to upload to Dropbox (my preferred online file storage platform) to keep them all together in the actual right place, and it was just getting annoying.
So I decided to invest in the latest reMarkable tablet, and let me tell you I have not looked back.
I reworked my funeral meeting booking form (you can still buy my original one at this link) so that it's slightly bigger (so that when it shrinks to fit the smaller-than-A4 reMarkable screen I still have space to write in the gaps). I have it on the homescreen of my reMarkable and when I'm booked for a funeral I just duplicate the file and fill it in. After my meeting I upload it directly to Dropbox and it's ready for me to open alongside my script document.
I have one entire notebook (that's what reMarkable calls files of multiple pages) on the homescreen for my Cert IV notes. The pages are endless, so I have one page for each different topic and I just keep scrolling when I want to add new stuff. Then I can tick things off as I go and it's all pretty.
I have uploaded documents I've been meaning to read for ages but haven't had time to sit down with them, and now wherever I go, my reMarkable comes with me and I can highlight and annotate to my heart's content. Again, I upload the completely read documents back to Dropbox so they're all together when I need to refer to them again, but that's just me.
I can open a quick sheet at any moment when I'm on the phone and need to jot down some notes - the tablet is always on my desk and charged, so it's just as easy as opening one of my notebooks without having to find the correct one.
Josh keeps asking me when I'm going to start using it to sign my marriage documentation - settle down, I'm not there yet, I still like good old pen and paper for that task.
But it is changing my life in many other ways and I love it!
### Fix pricing, not prices: A celebrant price guide
In this episode of the Celebrant Talk Show podcast, Sarah Aird and I are diving deep into a topic that every celebrant has wrestled with at some point: pricing.
Thanks to a thoughtful series of questions from listener Hannah, we explore in this podcast one of the most complex and important aspects of running a celebrancy business – how much to charge, and why.
Here’s what you can expect from the episode:
The truth about price fixing – what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s perfectly okay (and essential) to talk about pricing with your colleagues.
How to approach setting your prices – understanding the difference between cost, price, and value, and why your pricing is more than just covering expenses.
Whether or not to publish your prices online – Sarah and I share how we approach this, and why transparency can save you time and attract the right couples.
The challenge of pricing as a new celebrant – how to start strong without undercutting yourself or the industry.
Dealing with mates rates and discounts – where to draw the line, how to handle requests from friends, and why free doesn’t always mean valued.
This episode is packed with real talk, lived experience, and actionable advice for celebrants at all stages of their business journey. Whether you’re brand new or a seasoned professional, pricing is never a “set and forget” conversation – and this episode is designed to help you revisit and refine how you charge for your work.
Massive thanks to Hannah for the great questions. And if there’s a topic you’d like us to cover, you can email us at hello@celebrant.fm.
### 30 AI Experiments You Could Try In Your Celebrancy Today
As an Australian marriage celebrant, we’re juggling multiple responsibilities–from crafting personalised ceremonies to managing client relationships and handling administrative tasks. The recent advances in AI technology, particularly large language models (LLMs) like Claude, can dramatically improve your efficiency and enhance the quality of your services.
Here are some practical ways to integrate AI into your celebrancy business, ways that I do every day, with specific prompt examples tailored to the Australian wedding celebrant context.
Remember these key principles:
Be specific about what you want
Provide examples when possible
Use clear instructions rather than constraints
Experiment with different phrasings and approaches
30 Practical AI Prompts for Australian Marriage Celebrants
Ceremony Creation
1. Personalised Ceremony Structure
Create a detailed structure for a 20-minute wedding ceremony for a couple in their 30s who met through bushwalking and want a blend of traditional and personal elements. Include the order of proceedings, approximate timing for each section, and suggestions for where to include personal stories. Structure this for an outdoor ceremony at [location] with Australian legal requirements in mind.
2. Vow Inspiration
Generate 5 different sets of wedding vow starters that avoid clichés. Each set should have 3-4 sentence beginnings that help partners express their commitment in authentic ways. Make these appropriate for a couple that values [specific values the couple has mentioned]. Keep the language inclusive and suitable for an Australian couple.
3. Ceremony Script Enhancement
Review this ceremony script and suggest 3 improvements to make it more engaging and meaningful. Identify places where personal anecdotes might fit, suggest transitions between sections, and recommend any contemporary Australian elements that might enhance this beachside ceremony:
[paste your draft script here]
4. Cultural Integration Guidance
As an Australian marriage celebrant, I need to integrate elements of [specific culture] respectfully into a wedding ceremony while maintaining legal requirements. Provide guidance on 3-4 traditional elements I could incorporate, their significance, and how to explain them to guests who may be unfamiliar with the traditions.
5. Readings Research
Suggest 5 unique readings or poems about commitment and partnership that aren't commonly used in weddings. For each suggestion, explain why it might resonate with a couple who values [specific values]. Include at least two from Australian authors.
Client Communication
6. Initial Consultation Questions
Create a comprehensive list of questions for my initial consultation with a newly engaged couple. Include questions about their relationship journey, vision for their ceremony, values they share, and logistical preferences. Frame these questions to help me understand their unique story while gathering the necessary information for creating a personalised ceremony.
7. Email Template for Inquiry Responses
Write a warm, professional email template for responding to initial wedding ceremony inquiries. The email should introduce my services as an Australian marriage celebrant, outline my approach to creating personalised ceremonies, mention my fee structure (detailed pricing to be attached separately), and encourage the couple to schedule a consultation. Keep the tone friendly but professional, and include specific questions that would help me understand if we'd be a good fit.
8. Explanation of Legal Requirements
Create a clear, concise explanation of the legal requirements for marriage in Australia that I can share with couples. Include information about the Notice of Intended Marriage, required documentation, the one-month notice period, and the mandatory statements during the ceremony. Present this in a friendly, accessible way that doesn't overwhelm couples but ensures they understand their legal obligations.
9. Client Questionnaire Development
Develop a detailed questionnaire for couples to complete before our planning meeting. Create questions that will help me understand their relationship story, values, vision for the ceremony, and practical preferences. Structure the questions to gather both factual information and personal insights that will help me craft a meaningful, personalised ceremony.
10. Follow-up Communication
Write a template for a follow-up email to send to couples after our initial consultation. The email should summarise what we discussed, outline next steps in the ceremony creation process, include a timeline for deliverables, and invite any additional questions they might have. Keep the tone warm and reassuring while maintaining professionalism.
Business Development
11. Service Description for Website
Create compelling service descriptions for my website as an Australian marriage celebrant. I offer three packages: [describe basic details of each package]. Write engaging, SEO-friendly descriptions that highlight the unique aspects of my approach, emphasise the personalised nature of my services, and appeal to couples seeking an authentic, meaningful ceremony experience.
12. Social Media Content Calendar
Create a 3-month content calendar for my celebrancy business Instagram account. Include a mix of content types (educational posts about the marriage process in Australia, behind-the-scenes glimpses of my work, client testimonials, etc.) with suggested themes, hashtags relevant to Australian weddings, and caption ideas. Focus on content that positions me as both approachable and expert.
13. SEO Keywords Research
Identify 20 SEO keywords and phrases that potential clients in [your region] might use when searching for a marriage celebrant. Include a mix of short and long-tail keywords, local terms, and specific service-related phrases. For each keyword, suggest a potential blog topic that would allow me to naturally incorporate these terms while providing valuable information to engaged couples.
14. Blog Post Outline
Create a detailed outline for a 1000-word blog post titled "What to Expect When Working With a Marriage Celebrant in Australia." Include an introduction explaining the role of a celebrant, 4-5 main sections covering the journey from booking to ceremony day, and a conclusion. For each section, suggest key points to cover and potential personal anecdotes I could include from my experience.
15. Client Testimonial Request
Write a template email to send to couples after their wedding day requesting a testimonial. The email should express my gratitude for allowing me to be part of their day, invite specific feedback about their experience working with me, and request permission to share their comments on my website and social media. Include guidance on what kind of feedback is most helpful for future couples.
Administrative Efficiency
16. Ceremony Planning Checklist
Create a comprehensive checklist for ceremony planning that I can share with couples. Include all elements they need to consider from booking to ceremony day, with Australian legal requirements clearly marked. Structure this in chronological order with timing guidance (e.g., "6 months before," "1 month before," etc.), and include both essential legal items and optional personalisation elements.
17. Meeting Agenda Template
Develop a structured agenda template for my ceremony planning meetings with couples. Include all key topics we need to discuss, from legal requirements to personalisation options, in a logical sequence. For each agenda item, suggest specific questions I should ask and information I should provide to ensure comprehensive coverage while making efficient use of our time together.
18. Contract Template Analysis
Review my current celebrant services contract for clarity, comprehensiveness, and legal protection:
[paste your current contract here]
Suggest improvements or additions that would strengthen the document while maintaining a client-friendly tone. Identify any areas where Australian-specific legal language might be necessary.
19. Ceremony Script Template
Create a flexible ceremony script template that I can customise for different couples. Include all essential legal elements required in Australian marriage ceremonies, plus optional sections for various ritual elements, readings, and personalised components. Structure this in a way that makes it easy for me to add, remove, or rearrange elements based on each couple's preferences.
20. Post-Wedding Procedure Checklist
Develop a detailed checklist of all tasks I need to complete after a wedding ceremony, including legal documentation, follow-up communications, record-keeping, and business administration. Include timeframes for each task and any relevant Australian legal requirements for marriage registration.
Marketing and Networking
21. Vendor Collaboration Email
Write a professional email template I can use to reach out to wedding vendors in my area (photographers, venues, planners) to establish referral relationships. The email should introduce my celebrancy services, suggest how we might collaborate to enhance client experiences, and propose a meeting or call to discuss partnership opportunities. Keep the tone professional but warm.
22. Wedding Fair Preparation Plan
Create a comprehensive plan for participating in a wedding fair as a marriage celebrant. Include ideas for booth design, interactive elements to engage potential clients, information materials to display, questions to ask couples, follow-up strategies, and ways to stand out among other celebrants. Focus on Australian wedding trends and expectations.
23. Unique Selling Proposition Development
Help me identify and articulate my unique selling proposition as a marriage celebrant. I specialise in [your niche or approach]. Based on this information, craft 3-5 compelling statements that highlight what makes my services distinctive, how I address common pain points for couples, and why my approach creates especially meaningful ceremony experiences.
24. Wedding Publication Pitch
Create a pitch email to send to [specific Australian wedding publication or blog]. The pitch should propose an article I could write about [specific topic related to ceremonies], highlighting my expertise as a celebrant, explaining why this topic would be valuable to their readers, and including a brief outline of what the article would cover. Keep it concise, professional, and tailored to the publication's style.
25. Client Referral Program
Design a client referral program for my celebrancy business. Include details on incentives for past clients who refer new bookings, how to promote the program, a system for tracking referrals, and appropriate ways to show appreciation that comply with Australian marriage celebrant guidelines. Ensure the program emphasises quality connections rather than simply increasing booking numbers.
Continuous Professional Development
26. Workshop Concept Development
Develop a concept for a 2-hour workshop I could offer to other celebrants or wedding professionals in Australia. The workshop should focus on [your area of expertise]. Include a catchy title, learning objectives, outline of content, interactive elements, pricing strategy, and marketing approach. Emphasise the unique perspective and practical techniques participants would gain.
27. Ceremony Innovation Research
Research and summarise 5 innovative ceremony trends that are emerging globally but haven't yet become mainstream in Australia. For each trend, explain what it involves, its cultural origins, how it might be adapted for Australian ceremonies, and why couples might find it meaningful. Include considerations for implementing these elements respectfully and within legal requirements.
28. Professional Development Plan
Create a 12-month professional development plan for an Australian marriage celebrant looking to enhance their skills and business. Include a mix of formal training opportunities, self-directed learning activities, networking events, and practical skill development. For each suggestion, explain how it would benefit my practice and client experience, with specific Australian resources where possible.
29. Self-Assessment Questions
Develop a set of reflective questions I can use to evaluate my performance after each ceremony. Include questions about preparation, client satisfaction, ceremony delivery, handling of unexpected situations, and areas for improvement. Structure these questions to help me identify both strengths to leverage and specific skills to develop further.
30. Industry Research Summary
Research and summarise the current state of the wedding industry in Australia, with particular focus on how it affects marriage celebrants. Include key statistics, emerging trends, changing client expectations, economic factors, and potential opportunities and challenges. Conclude with actionable insights for how celebrants might adapt their services and marketing to remain competitive and relevant.
Best Practices for AI Implementation
As you begin integrating AI into your celebrancy business, keep these principles in mind:
Always review AI-generated content carefully. While AI can provide excellent starting points, your professional judgment, personal touch, and understanding of Australian legal requirements remain essential.
Maintain authenticity. Use AI to enhance efficiency, but ensure your unique voice and approach still shine through–clients choose you for your personality and style.
Start with templates, then personalise. Use AI-generated content as a foundation, then customise it to reflect each couple’s unique story and your celebrant style.
Experiment and refine. Try different prompting techniques and keep track of what works best for your specific needs.
Respect privacy. Be thoughtful about what client information you share with AI tools, and ensure you’re complying with privacy obligations.
Understand that if you're using a free version of an AI chat app, you're not getting the best results, so if the results are not to your liking, consider paying for the better version.
AI tools like Google Gemini, Claude, or ChatGPT offer tremendous potential to enhance your celebrancy business–from streamlining administrative tasks to inspiring creative ceremony elements.
By thoughtfully incorporating these tools into your workflow, you can save time on routine aspects of your work while dedicating more energy to the personal connections and creative elements that make your ceremonies special.
The key is to view AI as a collaborative assistant rather than a replacement for your expertise. With well-crafted prompts and thoughtful implementation, AI can help you deliver even more meaningful, personalised ceremony experiences for your couples while making your business operations more efficient.
### When will the tide turn?
I feel like there's a lot of here-say as to the state of the wedding industry today so I thought I'd engage our friend ChatGPT, in particular the new "Deep Research" model on ChatGPT 4.5, to see if there was any data out there to back up the anecdotes we're all hearing and telling.
This is no regular ChatGPT session, it took about 25 minutes of research by the software, which doesn't necessarily make it right, but it at least feels like it spent 25 minutes searching the web and forming an opinion on the topic, plus it's a good read nonetheless.
Enjoy this large language model research paper on the state of the wedding market today.
1. Pre‑COVID vs 2025: Market Size and Sales Funnel Metrics
The COVID-19 pandemic caused an unprecedented disruption to wedding markets worldwide. In Australia, the number of registered marriages plummeted from 113,000 in 2019 to just 79,000 in 2020, then rebounded sharply to a record 127,161 weddings in 2022 . This “boom” was echoed globally – the US saw an estimated 2.6 million weddings in 2022, the busiest year since 1984 as postponed celebrations crowded into one season. By 2023, however, volumes normalized: Australia logged 118,439 marriages in 2023, down from the 2022 peak and essentially back to pre-pandemic levels . Industry forecasts had anticipated 139,000 Australian weddings in 2023, but the actual number undershot that, reflecting a softer market than expected . Wedding enquiry volumes and bookings similarly peaked during the 2021–2022 catch-up surge and have since eased. With most COVID-postponed events now past, vendors report 2023–24 bookings down by 40–50% compared to “normal” pre-pandemic levels (an anecdotal trend some call the “wedding gap”) . In short, after a “boom and bust” cycle the wedding market in 2025 has settled to a new baseline: roughly on par with (or slightly below) 2019 activity in many regions, but with notable shifts in client behavior across the sales funnel.
Average spending on weddings has also fluctuated. Before COVID, Australian weddings cost around A$36,000 on average . By 2023 this average was about A$34,715 per wedding , a small nominal decrease (and a larger drop in real terms given inflation). Industry surveys confirm couples' budgets have not skyrocketed post-pandemic – in fact many are prioritizing cost savings. One report even suggests the typical Aussie wedding spend fell from A$53,168 in 2019 to A$34,715 in 2023 , though more conservative official estimates show only a slight dip (from ~$35K to $34K). Globally, the pattern is similar: in the US, the average wedding in 2022/23 cost roughly $30–35K (USD), comparable to or a bit above 2019 levels . The frequency of bookings and conversion rates have shifted as well. During the 2022 boom, vendors were inundated – many were fully booked and even weekday weddings became common to accommodate demand . Now, in 2025, with the backlog cleared, couples are reverting to traditional Saturday events and vendor calendars have more gaps . Sales funnel metrics like lead volume and conversion are under pressure: competition for new bookings is high, and vendors cite “leads and conversion” as a top challenge . On the customer feedback side, client expectations have evolved (as detailed later), but overall satisfaction remains tied to value – couples still seek great service and are vocal with reviews, pushing professionals to maintain high quality to secure referrals. In summary, by 2025 the core funnel metrics (inquiries, bookings, spend per wedding) are back in a normal range after wild swings, but “normal” itself has been redefined by the pandemic experience and emerging trends.
2. Factors Driving Change in the Wedding Market
A combination of generational, cultural, economic, and social factors has contributed to the shifts observed from pre-2020 to 2025:
Generational Shifts (Millennials vs. Gen Z Brides & Grooms)
Today’s marrying couples straddle older Millennials and younger Gen Z, bringing new attitudes. Gen Z is coming of age for marriage (mid-20s in 2025) and tends to value authenticity, frugality, and tech-savvy planning. Surveys indicate Gen Z couples are far more budget-conscious: 25% of Gen Z respondents say a $10K–$20K wedding budget is “reasonable,” whereas a sizable share of Millennials felt $50K+ was warranted . Planners observe that many Gen Z pairs “opt for low-key weddings,” focusing on what matters to them and cutting the rest . They care about experiences over extravagance – for example, ensuring the day feels personal and is captured on social media, but they’re fine skipping formal invitations, large guest counts, or other trappings . Millennials (now in their 30s and early 40s) have generally shouldered higher costs and larger events, but even they have been influenced by recent changes (many Millennials postponed weddings during COVID and are marrying later). The result is a blending of trends: an average couple in 2025 is around **31 years old (up from late-20s pre-COVID) ******, often tech-enabled and value-conscious. Crucially, marriage itself is less obligatory for younger generations – many are content to delay or forgo it, contributing to a long-term decline in marriage rates . At the same time, some data suggests renewed enthusiasm: 86% of Gen Z surveyed say they envision marriage in their future, signaling that marriage is still valued even if done differently . In short, generational turnover is pushing the industry toward smaller, more personalized, less traditional weddings that reflect Gen Z’s pragmatic outlook, versus the bigger-budget, formulaic weddings that earlier generations often felt obliged to host.
Cultural Trends (Marriage Preferences & Non-Traditional Celebrations)
Even before COVID, weddings were evolving culturally – and the pandemic accelerated many non-traditional trends. One major shift is the rise of micro-weddings and elopements. Intimate ceremonies that might have been rare pre-2020 are now mainstream: roughly 16% of couples had weddings with 50 or fewer guests in 2023 (per one US survey) , and industry polls show 50–60% of today’s couples actively consider a small ceremony . During lockdowns, couples discovered the appeal of saying “I do” with just close family (or even via Zoom); now, many intentionally choose that route to save money or avoid fuss. Alongside smaller guest lists, there’s a loosening of wedding “rules.” Traditions like the big white gown, formal sit-down dinner, or even Saturday church venue are no longer givens. “There aren’t any rules anymore,” one planner quipped, as Gen Z and Millennials feel free to mix and match elements that suit them . For example, some swap fresh florals for artificial arrangements to save cost and be eco-friendly . Others ditch assigned seating, forego bridal parties, or choose casual settings (backyard, beach, national park) that were once considered unconventional. Sustainability is another cultural value reshaping weddings: about 1 in 4 couples now plan eco-friendly weddings (using recycled décor, local/seasonal food, etc.), reflecting broader environmental consciousness . Additionally, the definition of marriage celebrations has broadened – from multi-day wedding weekends (especially popular with Millennials who include welcome parties, next-day brunches, etc.) to “sequel weddings” (a legal ceremony followed by a celebration later) and inclusive ceremonies for LGBTQ+ and non-binary participants (Australia saw thousands of same-sex marriages after legalization in 2018, integrating that demand). Overall, wedding culture in 2025 is more diverse and personalized: couples feel empowered to do things their way, whether that means a barefoot elopement at sunset or a full-weekend festival. This flexibility was turbocharged by COVID (which proved that small and simple can be just as meaningful), and it persists as a core trend.
Economic Changes (Inflation, Cost of Living, & Spending Priorities)
Economic conditions from 2020–2025 have put weddings under financial pressure. High inflation and cost-of-living increases in recent years directly impact both couples and vendors. Many couples emerging from the pandemic are juggling new financial priorities – housing costs, lost income from recession periods, or simply a desire to build savings over splurging on one day. A recent Australian survey found 30% of couples are spending less on their weddings compared to previous years . In practice, this often means trimming guest lists (cutting down the cost per head) or choosing budget-friendly options. In 2023–24, 65% of Australian couples said cost-of-living pressures affected their wedding budget . Similarly in the US, 85% of engaged couples report inflation has or will affect their plans . While a majority still stick to their “dream” event, about 41% cope by reducing guests and 30% adjust the budget (some even increase their budget to meet rising vendor prices) . Indeed, the average Aussie venue cost jumped 6% year-on-year as of 2023 , and other categories (catering, photographers, etc.) have seen price hikes . This puts couples in a bind – they expect weddings to be pricey, but there’s a growing sentiment that weddings shouldn’t break the bank. In one poll, 73% of Gen Z and Millennials agreed weddings are too expensive nowadays . As a result, many are consciously reallocating funds: some prioritize saving for a home over an extravagant wedding , while others embrace DIY and cost-cutting measures (weekday weddings, electronic invites, second-hand dresses, etc.). On the flip side, those who do go for big weddings often have to spend more than couples did pre-pandemic, simply due to inflation. It’s reported that couples typically spend 26% over their original budget , and taking on debt for weddings (personal loans, credit cards) has become relatively common in this era of high costs . In summary, economic realities in 2025 have produced a paradox: **the average wedding budget is slightly lower or flat compared to 2019 ******, but the expectations from both clients and suppliers are being squeezed by higher costs. This economic squeeze is a key driver behind the popularity of smaller weddings and the intense focus on value-for-money.
Social Behaviors & COVID’s Lasting Effects
The social landscape after two years of lockdowns and distancing has also left its mark on marriages. One immediate effect was the accumulation of pent-up demand – couples who got engaged in 2020 or 2021 often waited 1–2+ years to marry, leading to the 2022 surge. But beyond that, COVID altered how people socialize, date, and celebrate. Extended lockdowns and remote work changed relationship dynamics: singles had fewer opportunities to meet in person, and many new relationships were delayed or formed online under unusual circumstances. This has fed into what some call a “relationship gap” (explored in detail in section 3) – essentially a shortfall in the number of new couples who would now be reaching the altar. Meanwhile, those who were already in long-term relationships during the pandemic often reevaluated their priorities. Some decided life is short and jumped into marriage or engagement (“lockdown proposals” were a noted trend as people realized their partner was truly The One during quarantine) . Others experienced hardship or loss that made the big traditional wedding feel less important. As one Australian bride-to-be observed, seeing the COVID disruptions “made it clear what’s important on our wedding day – making sure the right people are there, not the glitz and glamour.” . This captures a broader post-COVID social ethos: family and meaningful experiences > superficial extravagance. Additionally, remote work and lifestyle changes have allowed more flexibility in planning (e.g. guests now more willing to travel mid-week or work remotely around a wedding trip), but have also blurred work-life boundaries, making some couples very time-poor despite being at home. Another lasting behavior change is caution about unforeseen disruptions – while few couples in 2025 fear COVID will cancel their wedding, many now insure their events or have backup plans (something rare pre-2020). Vendors too remain wary of sudden changes in regulations or travel rules, after being burned by the chaos of postponements (40% of weddings were cancelled or rescheduled over 2020–21) . In sum, the social scars and lessons of the pandemic – from how we meet partners to how we value intimate moments – have created a cohort of couples who approach weddings differently than those before them. They are, on the whole, more selective in why/when they marry, more mindful of their guest list composition, and more adaptable to change.
3. The “Relationship Gap” Theory: Fewer Couples After COVID
One striking hypothesis for the downturn in weddings circa 2023–2025 is the “relationship gap” – the idea that the pandemic caused a shortfall in new relationships, which is now translating to fewer engagements and weddings. The concept is supported by data from related industries, notably the diamond trade. Signet Jewelers (owner of Zales, Kay, etc.) observed that as a result of 2020’s dating freeze, engagement ring sales dropped sharply about 3 years later . On average, couples date for 3.25 years before getting engaged . So the missing cohort of couples who didn’t meet or start dating in 2020–21 meant a corresponding dip in proposals around 2023. In the US, typical annual engagements fell from ~2.8 million pre-pandemic to an estimated 2.1–2.2 million in 2023 – a decline Signet directly attributes to “the dating dry spell during the depths of the pandemic” . This engagement gap has a direct pipeline effect on the wedding industry: fewer engagements today mean fewer weddings a year or two down the line.
There is emerging evidence that this gap is also affecting Australia and other markets. Official Australian marriage stats in 2023 showed a drop of about 7% from 2022 (127k down to 118k) , which aligns with the tail end of that backlog working through and possibly a shortfall of new couples coming through. Dating app trends during COVID reinforce the theory – while usage of apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge remained high (people were swiping in isolation), many users reported it was harder to form real relationships under lockdown conditions . The result: a dip in the number of established couples in the 2020–21 period. Supporting data can even be found upstream in the diamond and jewelry sector beyond Signet. De Beers and other diamond analysts noted a pandemic-related slump: in 2022–23, engagement diamond sales stalled enough that Signet revised revenue forecasts, citing “fewer engagements… as a result of 2020’s forced isolation” . This pattern is expected to be temporary. Experts predict a rebound in engagements by 2024–2025 as the dating landscape has normalized . Signet’s CEO noted that by early 2024, dating activity was actually 8% above pre-COVID levels and that the “engagement gap” was bottoming out in 2023 . Indeed, they forecast US engagements to climb back to 2.4–2.5 million in 2024 and fully recover in a few years . If this holds true, the wedding industry should likewise see an upswing a little later (since engagements precede weddings).
Beyond rings and dating apps, marriage rate statistics hint at a similar story. After the aberration of 2020’s record-low marriage rate (3.8 per 1,000 adults in Australia) and the 2022 catch-up high (6.1 per 1,000), 2023’s marriage rate of 5.5 per 1,000 appears to resume the prior downward trajectory . Part of that is the continuation of long-term social change, but part may be this deficit of couples of marrying age. Even the birth rate slump seen in many countries around 2020 could tie in – fewer new relationships and marriages eventually mean fewer babies, and vice versa, reflecting a COVID-induced demographic dent. While it’s difficult to quantify exactly how many “missing weddings” are due to the relationship gap versus economic or cultural reasons, wedding professionals widely felt a sudden slow patch in late 2023 and 2024 that didn’t match the usual patterns. This theory has given the industry a hopeful framing: the lull is cyclical and not purely a sign of permanent decline. If true, the latter half of the 2020s could see a modest rebound as the couples who would have met in 2020 finally find each other a bit later and make their way down the aisle.
4. Impact on Wedding Professionals: Operating in 2025’s New Normal
For celebrants, planners, and other wedding vendors, these shifting dynamics mean that business as usual no longer applies. The landscape of 2025 demands adaptation in multiple facets of operations – from marketing and client communication to pricing and services:
Market Saturation and Competition: After the initial COVID shock, many new vendors entered the market during the 2022 boom, or existing ones overextended to recoup losses. Now with demand leveling off, there’s an oversupply of vendors relative to weddings. In Australia, celebrancy saw a surge of entrants (leading the pack in feeling competitive pressure) . Suppliers across the board rank “competitors and vendor saturation” as their #1 challenge in 2023–24 . For professionals, this means you must differentiate yourself. Those who thrive are clearly articulating their unique value proposition – whether it’s a signature style, premium service, or niche specialty – to avoid competing purely on price. It also means many are seeing fewer bookings; a number of seasoned suppliers have even quit the industry in 2023 due to the intensity of competition and diminishing returns .
Lead Generation and Client Acquisition: With a smaller pool of engaged couples (and many opting for DIY or intimate weddings), lead volumes are down, and conversion is paramount. Vendors can no longer sit back and wait for referrals alone; they are investing more in marketing (wedding businesses spend 24% of revenue on marketing/ads on average) and leveraging platforms like online directories and social media. However, couples' behavior has changed too – modern Millennial/Gen Z clients overwhelmingly prefer digital communication. About 82% of couples initiate contact via email and less than 8% want phone calls . They also tend to book the vendor who responds fastest with the most helpful info (nearly 2 in 10 book whoever replies first, and 62% book based on the quality of info in a timely reply ). This has forced wedding pros to up their responsiveness and tech game: using CRM apps for instant inquiry notifications, offering Zoom consults, and maintaining active Instagram/TikTok channels to engage prospects. Essentially, sales funnels have moved online, and vendors must meet couples where they are – which is often scrolling on a smartphone looking for authentic samples of your work and reviews.
Client Expectations and Service Offerings: The typical 2025 couple expects a highly personalized, flexible service. They are less tolerant of rigid, one-size packages. Celebrants, for example, report that today’s clients often request bespoke ceremony elements or unique locations – requiring officiants to be creative and adaptable (“open to quirky or different setups,” as feedback notes) . Planners and venues find many couples want an all-in-one, stress-free solution after the stress of recent years; as one venue operator noted, “people are showing up wanting everything done for them… it’s more like, let’s book it in and have what we wanted” . This has led to growth in full-service packages and collaboration among vendors (e.g. planners bundling photography, florals, etc. into a single package for micro-weddings). Weekday weddings, while declining from the peak, are still more common than pre-COVID, so professionals have to be ready to work unconventional schedules or offer dynamic pricing (discounts for off-peak dates, etc.). Moreover, couples increasingly value sustainability and inclusivity – they may ask vendors about eco-friendly practices or expect experience with diverse cultural traditions and LGBTQ+ ceremonies. In response, many celebrants and caterers have broadened their skill sets (learning new rites, offering vegan menus, etc.) to meet these expectations. And after the pandemic’s tech leap, services like live-streaming the ceremony for distant guests or creating digital invitations and websites have become a standard part of a planner’s remit.
Pricing Pressures and Profitability: Wedding businesses are squeezed between rising costs and clients' budget constraints. Inflation in supplies and labor (from flowers to food to fuel) means vendors have had to raise their prices – Easy Weddings data showed costs rising across many categories (e.g. +6% for venues, +5% for flowers year-on-year) . However, today’s cost-conscious couples often push back on prices, having a plethora of alternatives in a saturated market. This has made pricing strategy delicate. Many pros have adopted tiered packages to cater to different budgets – for instance, a photographer might offer a basic 4-hour elopement package versus a deluxe full-day package. Some venues have started charging a premium for peak Saturdays in popular months to maximize revenue in high demand times (a strategy suggested to offset inflation) . At the same time, vendors are finding ways to trim their own expenses or streamline operations to remain profitable at lower volumes – from downsizing staff (addressing the “understaffing” issue that hit the industry post-COVID) , to automating parts of their workflow (online planning tools, client portals, etc.). It’s a balancing act: professionals must educate clients on the value behind their pricing (often referencing how much work goes into each wedding – e.g. a photographer spends 32 hours per wedding including editing, on average ) while also finding efficiencies to keep margins viable.
Emotional and Logistical Strains: After the rollercoaster of 2020–2022, many wedding professionals are burnt out. The industry’s work is inherently high-stakes and high-stress (each event is a “once in a lifetime” day), and COVID multiplied those stressors. By 2023, some vendors cited mental health and exhaustion as reasons to exit the field . Those who remain in 2025 have had to institute better time management and self-care practices. The days of triple-booking weekends are less common now; vendors are pacing their bookings to ensure quality. There’s also a push towards community support – many have joined professional networks or mentorship groups (online forums, industry associations) to share advice on coping and business tips in this new era . In terms of logistics, the pandemic taught everyone to be nimble. Celebrants and planners now routinely have contingency plans (for weather, illness, travel disruptions) and often communicate these upfront to couples. Flexibility is a selling point: a planner who can easily scale an event up or down, or pivot to Plan B if needed, is highly valued after the unpredictability couples witnessed in recent years.
In sum, wedding professionals in 2025 must be agile businesspeople and empathetic service providers. The “new normal” involves more marketing hustle, more customization, and tighter margins – requiring a proactive approach to thrive. Those who adapt (embracing tech, adjusting offerings, collaborating, and standing out in their branding) are still finding success and even new opportunities, whereas those clinging to the 2019 playbook are struggling to meet the moment.
5. Strategic Recommendations for a Sustainable & Profitable Wedding Business
Given the above dynamics, what should the wedding industry – from solo celebrants to large venues – be doing differently to remain sustainable and profitable in 2025 and beyond? Below are strategic recommendations, rooted in current trends and data:
Embrace Smaller Weddings and New Services: Rather than viewing micro-weddings or elopements as “lesser” events, treat them as a growth segment. Develop specialized packages for intimate ceremonies (e.g. weekday sunrise elopement package, courthouse wedding + mini-reception bundle) to capture couples who might otherwise skip using a professional. Likewise, consider offering related services like live-stream coordination, decor rental for small setups, or combined photography+celebrant deals. This diversification can open new revenue streams and fill open dates.
Focus on Unique Value & Storytelling: In an oversaturated market, identify and amplify your unique selling proposition. Whether it’s a signature style (rustic boho ceremonies?), an unmatched expertise (fluent in multiple cultural traditions or bilingual ceremonies), or exceptional customer service, make sure it’s front and center in your branding. Update your website and social profiles to tell your story – why you do what you do and how you’re different. Authentic storytelling builds connection with clients and justifies your pricing. Avoid getting into a race-to-the-bottom on price; instead, sell the value and experience you provide. Clients will pay for those they perceive as the best fit for their vision, especially in the era of personalized weddings.
Leverage Digital Marketing & Social Proof: Modern couples are digitally native, so your marketing must be as well. Invest time in an SEO-friendly website with lots of real wedding photos, testimonials, and even pricing guides (transparency can win trust). Stay active on platforms that drive inquiries: for Australia, this might mean Instagram and Facebook groups, but also consider TikTok or Pinterest for showcasing your work creatively. Use short videos or Reels to give behind-the-scenes peeks – this humanizes your business and appeals to Gen Z. Encouraging reviews on Google, Facebook, and wedding directories is also key; glowing reviews and high ratings serve as social proof that converts hesitant leads. Essentially, make sure when a couple Googles you (and they will), your online presence wows them.
Adapt Communication and Sales Tactics: The data is clear that couples prefer quick and convenient communication. Meet clients where they are: respond to inquiries rapidly (aim for same-day if not within hours), and do so in the channel they used (email, DM, text). Use templates for initial responses so you can be both fast and informative – couples often book the first responsive vendor . Offer no-obligation Zoom or FaceTime consultations; many Gen Z clients actually find virtual meetings more comfortable initially than in-person. Implement a good CRM or even just organized email tracking to follow up with leads that go quiet – gentle persistence can significantly improve conversion . Internally, track your inquiry-to-booking funnel: if you notice drop-offs at proposal stage, refine your pitch or pricing clarity. By treating follow-ups and communications as seriously as you do the event itself, you’ll stand out in service.
Right-Size Your Pricing and Upsell Smartly: Reevaluate your pricing strategy to ensure it’s in line with current market conditions and covers your rising costs. It may be wise to introduce tiered offerings: for instance, a basic, standard, and premium tier. The basic tier can capture budget-conscious clients (so you don’t lose them entirely), while premium can cater to those willing to splurge for extra value. Be transparent about what each package includes, and consider listing starting prices publicly to pre-qualify leads. Once you have a client, look for gentle upsell opportunities that enhance their experience – e.g. a celebrant might offer a paid add-on of a personalized vow booklet or a rehearsal coordination for an extra fee; a venue might upsell a decor package or cocktail hour extension. Many couples will spend a bit more if they see clear benefit and if it doesn’t feel like a nickel-and-dime tactic. Also, factor inflation into contracts for future-dated weddings (some vendors now include clauses that prices may adjust if the wedding is 2+ years out) to protect your margins.
Collaborate and Network within the Industry: The fragmented nature of the wedding industry can be a weakness or a strength. In 2025, collaboration is key. Build partnerships with complementary vendors – photographers with planners, celebrants with venues, etc. By creating preferred vendor networks or referral arrangements, you can feed business to each other and even create joint packages (e.g. a planner-photographer duo offering a turnkey elopement service). This not only adds value for clients (one-stop shopping) but also helps ensure you get referred rather than a random competitor. Participating in industry associations, regional wedding fairs, and online vendor communities will keep you in the loop on trends and give opportunities for cross-promotion. Remember, the real competition is not the trusted colleague down the road – it’s falling demand. By banding together, vendors can help grow the pie (encouraging more couples to hire professionals rather than DIY).
Optimize for Efficiency and Resilience: To stay profitable in tighter times, look inward at your operations. Identify where you can cut waste or automate – are you spending hours on manual scheduling or bookkeeping? Consider affordable software or outsourcing for those tasks. Streamlining processes (templates for timelines, checklists for clients, standard contracts) saves time that can be reallocated to client service or marketing. Also, build resilience: maintain a financial buffer for unexpected disruptions, and consider business insurance that covers event postponements or cancellations. We’ve learned that the unexpected can happen (pandemics, extreme weather, etc.), so having contingency plans is part of doing business now. Diversifying your income can help too – some wedding photographers have expanded into family or newborn photography to generate year-round income; many celebrants also perform baby naming or funeral ceremonies. Such diversification can smooth out the feast-or-famine nature of wedding seasons and provide stability.
Prioritize Client Experience and Reviews: In the wedding industry, your reputation is gold. Make 2025 the year of elevating the client experience. This means guiding couples through the planning process with empathy (many are time-poor or anxious after the past years). Little touches like welcome packets, check-in emails, or a small wedding day gift can leave a big impression. Solve problems proactively – if a couple’s budget is tight, suggest creative alternatives to meet their vision rather than simply saying “no”. By going above and beyond, you increase the likelihood of rave reviews and referrals. And since many in this generation rely on peer reviews, a delighted client who becomes a brand ambassador on social media is invaluable marketing that money can’t buy. In short, double down on being not just a vendor, but a trusted partner in the journey – it will pay dividends in word-of-mouth business.
By implementing these strategies, wedding professionals can adapt to the evolving market and safeguard their profitability. The key theme is adaptation – the industry is in flux, but those who stay agile, client-focused, and forward-thinking can absolutely continue to thrive in 2025 and beyond.
6. Outlook: What Lies Ahead for the Wedding Industry
Looking forward, will current conditions improve, stabilize, or continue to evolve? The consensus is a bit mixed, but there are strong indicators to consider:
Gradual Rebound in Demand: The “relationship gap” effect is expected to be temporary. As dating and engagement rates recover from the pandemic slump, we should see a modest uptick in the number of weddings toward the late 2020s. Industry data from the US suggests engagements will bounce back to normal levels by 2025–2026 , which implies a possible wedding bump in 2026–2027. In Australia, after the 2023 reset, 2024 may hold steady or see a small increase in weddings (industry estimates were 122k weddings in 2024) . That said, no one expects a return to the extreme boom of 2022; rather, a steadying to typical pre-COVID volumes with year-to-year fluctuations. Expert forecasts lean cautiously optimistic – for example, some planners in 2023 felt 2024 was “looking like kicking it out of the park” in certain regions , whereas demographers urge waiting for 2024 data to confirm any true growth trend . Overall, anticipate a slight increase or stabilization in wedding volumes in the next couple of years, assuming no new economic or health crises intervene.
Continued Downward Pressure on Marriage Rates: Counterbalancing the above is the long-term trend: fewer people marry as a proportion of the population than in past decades. Australia’s crude marriage rate in 2023 resumed its historical decline , and the Australian Institute of Family Studies notes this is part of a decades-long shift (people marrying later, cohabiting instead, etc.) . Many Western countries mirror this; for instance, the US marriage rate in 2022 was about 6.2 per 1,000, far below rates a generation ago . This suggests that even if the absolute number of weddings stabilizes, growth will be limited and tied largely to population increases or immigration. In societies like Australia with diverse cultures, one wild card is migration – influxes of populations with higher marriage propensities (or different wedding customs) could inject demand for the industry. Barring that, the ceiling for the market may be capped unless more young people can be convinced of the value of marriage. Interestingly, surveys of Gen Z show a relatively high aspiration for marriage (nearly 86% expressing interest) , so it’s possible we might see a renewal of marriage rates if those intentions translate into action. But such societal shifts happen slowly. For planning purposes, vendors should probably not bank on a dramatic expansion of the wedding market; instead, they should plan for a competitive steady state.
Evolving Consumer Spending and Wedding Styles: Economically, most analysts predict that high inflation will moderate by 2025–2026. If cost-of-living pressures ease and wages catch up, couples might feel more comfortable spending on weddings, potentially raising average budgets again (or at least stopping the decline). However, don’t expect a reversion to ultra-lavish across-the-board; the mindset shift from COVID – toward intimacy and prudence – is likely here to stay for a large segment. The industry might bifurcate further: “budget savvy” weddings (small, DIY-heavy, minimalistic) and “experience-driven” weddings (where those with means go all out for a unique celebration), with fewer in the middle. Vendors can cater to one or both ends. One positive sign: despite economic headwinds, 95% of engaged couples in a recent survey said they’re still excited and believe their wedding will be worth the investment . This means the demand for quality experiences is intact – people still deeply value their wedding day, even if they shape it differently. So, as conditions improve, spending may increase but likely in targeted ways (splurging on the aspects that matter most to the couple and economizing on others).
Innovation and Technology’s Role: The pandemic era forced innovation (virtual tours, online dress shopping, livestreaming, etc.), and this will continue to shape the future. Expect to see more tech-enabled efficiencies in planning – from AI-powered planning apps that help couples organize tasks, to augmented reality try-ons for attire or decor. For vendors, embracing such tools can be a competitive advantage. The trend of remote communication is certainly here to stay: couples will expect the convenience of planning via email/Zoom and digital payments/contracts as the norm. Additionally, social media will continue to dictate trends at a rapid pace (a new viral TikTok wedding idea can suddenly become what every bride asks for next season). This means the industry will evolve faster in tastes and norms, requiring professionals to stay nimble and plugged in. One can also anticipate more focus on sustainability in the future – Gen Z will increasingly demand eco-conscious options (perhaps in a few years, a carbon-neutral wedding might be a common goal).
Resilience to External Shocks: If the last few years taught the industry anything, it’s to expect the unexpected. Whether it’s another pandemic, natural disasters, or economic recessions, the wedding sector now has playbooks for coping (e.g. flexibility in contracts, backup plans, etc.). The general outlook doesn’t foresee an imminent crisis of the scale of COVID-19, so the hope is for a period of relative stability. However, smaller disruptions (a bad flu season, a localized lockdown, travel restrictions in destination markets) might still occur. The industry is better prepared now, and couples are too – making the overall ecosystem more resilient. We’ve also seen that when deprived of weddings, people come roaring back to celebrate when they can. So weddings as a life event are here to stay, even if forms and frequencies shift.
Bottom line: The wedding industry in 2025 is at a plateau of sorts – not as flush as the post-COVID boom, but poised for subtle growth as the “engagement gap” closes and economic conditions improve. Conditions are likely to stabilize at a new normal that features smaller weddings, later marriages, and digitally-driven experiences. Any improvement will probably be incremental rather than explosive. Industry experts encourage a cautiously optimistic outlook: plan for things as they are now, but be ready to seize opportunities (like a potential uptick in late-decade weddings or an increase in destination weddings as travel fully resumes). By staying adaptable and attuned to couples' needs, the sector can navigate whatever comes next – whether it’s a steady road or another twist in the tale.
Adapting to the New Wedding Landscape in 2025
The wedding industry has weathered a storm and emerged into a changed landscape. Below, we distill the key insights from our in-depth report into an easy-to-scan guide. Discover what’s changed since pre-COVID, what it means for wedding professionals, and how to thrive in 2025’s market.__
From Boom to Balance: How the Market Has Shifted
In 2019, weddings were a dependable business – about 113,000 couples married in Australia that year, and the average wedding cost around A$35K . Fast forward to 2022: after pandemic lockdowns lifted, we saw a wedding boom. Australia hit a record 127,000 weddings in 2022 , and the U.S. had its biggest wedding year since the '80s. Businesses were flat out, juggling postponed events with new bookings. But by 2023, things cooled off. The number of Aussie weddings fell back to **118,000 (close to pre-COVID norms) **, and surveys showed many vendors facing a slowdown in enquiries. In fact, some wedding photographers and planners reported 40–50% fewer bookings for 2024 compared to the old days. The initial rush of pent-up demand is behind us, and we’ve entered a period of balance.
What about spending? Interestingly, couples are a bit more thrifty now. Pre-pandemic, a $35K budget was typical; today the average Australian wedding spends ~$34K . That’s essentially flat, despite a couple years of inflation. Globally the trend is similar – costs per wedding are up (vendors raised prices), but many couples countered by trimming guest lists or expectations. We’re seeing more “micro-weddings” (think 20–50 people, backyard or boutique venues) and fewer 300-guest extravaganzas. One Aussie study found 60% of couples now prefer intimate ceremonies and are redefining what “luxury” means on their terms . The message: couples still value their big day, but they’re increasingly cost-conscious and selective. They want impact, not necessarily size.
What’s Driving These Changes?
Several big-picture shifts are at play:
Generational Change: The couples getting married now are Millennials (late 20s to late 30s) and the first wave of Gen Z (mid 20s). They have a different mindset than older generations. Many Gen Z think weddings shouldn’t cost a fortune – in one U.S. poll, a quarter of Gen Z respondents said $10–20K is a reasonable budget, while many older Millennials felt $50K+ was okay ! Gen Z couples are generally opting for more personal, low-key celebrations, often infused with tech and social media. They’re also marrying a bit later. The average Aussie bride/groom is now 31, up from 28–29 pre-COVID , due partly to pandemic delays.
Cultural & Lifestyle Trends: The pandemic accelerated non-traditional wedding trends. Elopements, weekday weddings, sequel weddings (tiny ceremony now, big party later) – these are now common. There’s also a big push for sustainable weddings: about 1 in 4 couples is prioritizing eco-friendly choices (recyclable decor, local catering, even second-hand dresses). Society is also more accepting of not following old wedding “rules,” so couples feel free to do what suits them. That might mean mismatched bridal parties, a food-truck reception, or skipping some formalities altogether. In short, wedding culture is more individualistic in 2025.
Economic Pressures: Inflation and high living costs have put a squeeze on budgets. Many couples are balancing wedding expenses with saving for a house or other goals. About 65% of Aussie couples say cost-of-living affected their wedding plans . We see this in choices like smaller guest counts (the easiest way to cut costs) or opting for DIY elements. Interestingly though, not everyone is cutting back – some are actually spending more to get their dream day despite higher prices. It’s a polarisation: those who have the means will splurge, those who don’t are finding creative ways to celebrate nicely for less.
COVID’s Overhang – The “Relationship Gap”: Here’s a fascinating one – the idea that COVID created a gap in new relationships, leading to fewer weddings now. During 2020–21, lots of single people simply didn’t meet their future partner (no parties, no events, lockdowns!). Fast forward a few years: that means fewer people are at the stage of getting engaged and married. The world’s biggest jeweler noted a drop in engagement ring sales in 2023 due to this “dating dry spell” . They expect engagements (and thus weddings) to rebound in the next 2–3 years as those delayed love stories catch up. But for now, it’s a real factor behind softer demand.
How Wedding Pros Should Adapt in 2025
For celebrants, planners, photographers and more, the current climate means adjust and thrive is the mantra. Here are the key adaptations successful pros are making:
Up Your Digital Game: Today’s couples are glued to their phones. They find vendors via Google, Instagram, TikTok, and wedding websites. Make sure you’re visible online. This means a strong Instagram portfolio, short videos or Reels showcasing your work, and quick responses to DMs and inquiry emails. Also, modern clients hate phone calls – about 82% prefer to communicate by email – so be ready to chat in the medium they like (email, text, Zoom). The faster and more helpfully you respond, the more likely you’ll get the booking (a significant chunk book whoever replies first) .
Diversify Services (Think Small & Unique): Since micro-weddings and elopements are on the rise, consider offering packages tailored to those. For example, a planner might have a “mini wedding” package for 20 guests, or a photographer might advertise elopement specials that cover just 2 hours. Be open to weekday weddings and shorter lead times – flexibility can fill your calendar. Also, highlight any unique services: do you offer drone footage? Are you also a florist+planner in one? Couples love one-stop solutions, especially to simplify smaller events.
Show Your Value Proposition: In a crowded market, ask yourself: What makes me stand out? Maybe you have 10+ years of experience, or you’re an expert in multicultural weddings, or you offer a super personalized service. Don’t be shy – broadcast your unique value in your marketing. This helps avoid competing purely on price. Clients are willing to invest if they feel you get them or will deliver something special. Testimonials and reviews are gold here – encourage your happy couples to leave reviews, and feature those rave quotes on your site to build trust.
Adjust Pricing Strategies: Pricing is tricky now. You need to cover your costs (which have likely gone up) but also stay attractive to cost-conscious clients. Many vendors have introduced tiered packages. For instance, a photographer might offer “basic,” “standard,” and “premium” tiers. This way a couple with a tighter budget can opt for basic (maybe fewer hours or no album) while those who want it all can choose premium. It’s about being adaptable – perhaps offer an installment payment plan or be transparent with starting prices so couples with limited budgets aren’t scared to approach you. And if you haven’t revisited your pricing since pre-COVID, do it – factor in any increased expenses on your end.
Collaborate and Network: One way to sustain business is through referrals and partnerships. If you’re a celebrant, get to know local planners and photographers (and vice versa). Referring clients to each other can keep everyone busy. You could even create joint offerings – e.g. a venue + decorator package at a special rate. Industry networking (whether via local meetups or online groups) can also keep you informed and sane. Sharing intel (“Is anyone else seeing slow bookings this month?”) helps validate that it’s not just you and can spark ideas to turn things around. Community over competition!
Streamline Your Operations: During the boom it was okay if your processes were a bit inefficient – business was plentiful. Now, tighten up. Use tools to automate repetitive tasks like scheduling, invoices, social media posting. The less time you spend on admin, the more time you have for clients and marketing. Also, have backup plans ready. After the chaos of 2020, being prepared for the unexpected is a selling point. Couples will appreciate knowing you have a Plan B for an outdoor wedding if it rains, or that you can accommodate rescheduling if something crazy happens.
Key Stats & Signals to Share
Weddings by the numbers: Australia saw 127k weddings in 2022 (record high), then a drop to 118k in 2023 . The U.S. similarly spiked to 2.6 million weddings in 2022 (highest in 40 years) and then leveled off. The backlog is done – we’re in a steady state now.
Spending trends: Average spending is down 3–5% from pre-COVID when adjusted for inflation. Many couples are inviting fewer guests – e.g. average guest count in the U.S. dropped from 131 in 2019 to around 117 in 2022 (indicative of the global shift to intimate weddings). However, certain costs are rising: venue fees, catering per-head, and other vendor rates have gone up due to inflation (venues up 6% in Aus last year) .
Gen Z vs Millennials: 73% of Gen Z & Millennials say weddings are too expensive and many are finding ways to cut costs . Gen Z is also more likely to ditch traditions (for example, only 64% of Gen Z couples used a seating chart vs 78% of Millennials in one survey – a fun stat showing how norms are changing).
The engagement gap: In the U.S., engagements fell from 2.8M to 2.1M per year in the wake of COVID . This is expected to rebound by 2024–25, which is a hopeful sign for more weddings in the pipeline. Keep an eye on dating trends – they surprisingly foreshadow wedding booms or busts!
Client behavior: 82% of couples prefer email to communicate with vendors, and only 1 in 10 want to talk via social media or text . Quick response matters: 19% book the first responder . Also, 71% of couples still have one partner doing most of the planning (usually the bride), but interestingly joint planning is on the rise (up 6%) , meaning vendors should involve both partners when appropriate.
The Road Ahead: Cautious Optimism
The general feeling in the industry is cautiously optimistic. We’re not expecting another huge boom imminently, but we also don’t foresee a crash. It’s more about adapting to a new normal:
Weddings aren’t going away: People still want to get married and celebrate love – that’s a constant. If anything, the pandemic reminded folks why we have weddings (to bring family and friends together!). So the emotional drive for weddings is as strong as ever.
Temporary dip, then stabilize: The current dip due to the pandemic relationship gap should be temporary. Many in the industry expect things to stabilize or improve slightly by 2025–2026. A leading jeweler projects engagements in 2024 will tick back up to 2.4M in the U.S., which bodes well . In Australia, 2024 might see a small increase in weddings simply due to some spillover of postponed ones and a growing population.
Adaptation is key: The kinds of weddings and how they’re planned will keep evolving. Virtual components, hybrid events (some guests in-person, some on Zoom), and eco-conscious choices are likely to become even more standard. Gen Z will continue to put their stamp on wedding traditions – expect the unexpected with themes, attire (who knows, maybe wedding crocs footwear will be a trend!), and uses of technology (AI-generated photo albums?). As a pro, staying flexible and creative is your best strategy.
Stay informed: We recommend keeping an eye on official stats (like annual marriage reports) and industry surveys each year to spot trends early. The Australian Bureau of Statistics releases detailed marriage data with a lag (2023 data came out in Feb 2025), which can confirm whether the marriage rate is truly trending up or down. Industry bodies like Easy Weddings or The Knot also publish yearly trend reports that are packed with useful insights on budgets, preferences, etc. Knowledge is power – use it to adjust your business strategy continuously.
In conclusion, the wedding industry of 2025 is leaner and more dynamic than its pre-pandemic self. Australian wedding professionals have proven resilient, and with the right strategies, they can not only survive but thrive in this new era. By focusing on what today’s couples value – authenticity, flexibility, and value for money – and by running smart, modern businesses, celebrants, planners, and all vendors can look forward to a sustainable and even inspiring future. After all, love isn’t cancelled, and there will always be a demand to celebrate it – it’s our job to make those celebrations memorable no matter the circumstances.
### How Celebrants Should Be Marketing Themselves in 2025
As a full-time celebrant who’s worked across Australia and internationally, I know the tension so many of us live in: we want to keep bookings (with couples that get us) steady, but we’re also flat out with ceremonies, admin, and travel.
So how do we invest our time wisely when it comes to marketing, advertising, and promotion?
This post is for celebrants who want to use their limited marketing time efficiently, attract high-agency, well-aligned clients, and position themselves for growth in the current wedding market – without burning out. Whether you’re just starting or have been around a while, this is what’s working right now.
Who’s Getting Married in 2025?
Age & Stage:
Most couples are in their early 30s, often living together already, and many have kids or mortgages.
They’re Millennial and Gen Z, meaning they’re digital natives but also cautious buyers.
Spending & Values:
The average Australian wedding cost in 2024 is around $33,800.
Couples are cutting guest lists (average 89 guests) but splurging on meaningful elements.
They’re not always looking for the cheapest – they want the most valuable.
They Want:
Hyper-personalised ceremonies.
Vendors who align with their lifestyle and values.
To feel known and understood – not processed.
How Are Couples Choosing Celebrants?
They’re influenced by three key things:
Vibe and Chemistry
Couples want someone warm, funny, and genuine – not overly formal.
They’ll often book the person they “click” with most, not the cheapest or closest.
Proof and Professionalism
Online reviews and testimonials carry huge weight.
A modern website, fast replies, and great systems give them confidence.
Personalisation
78% of couples write their own vows.
They want someone to collaborate with them on making the ceremony feel like them.
Where Are Couples Finding Celebrants?
Here’s how modern couples find and choose their celebrant – and how you can show up where they’re looking:
🟢 Top Priority Channels (High ROI)
Channel
Why it Matters
What to Do
Google Search & SEO
73% of luxury couples hire vendors via Google.
Invest time into SEO. Optimise your website and Google Business profile.
Instagram
Still the #1 visual platform. Used to vet vendors, not necessarily find them.
Share consistent, quality posts. Focus on storytelling and personality.
Word of Mouth / Referrals
Trusted recommendations from friends, venues, planners.
Strengthen relationships with past clients and industry peers.
Online Reviews
Couples trust reviews as much as personal recs.
Ask every happy client to leave a Google or Facebook Page review.
🟡 Optional Channels (Situational ROI)
Channel
Pros
Cons
TikTok
Can build brand and reach Gen Z.
Requires time + regular content creation.
Wedding Directories
Boosts visibility and social proof.
ROI varies; stick to 1–2 quality ones that offer good citations.
Paid Ads
Great for targeting high-intent couples.
Needs careful targeting; can burn cash fast.
Wedding Fairs
Face-to-face leads.
Time-consuming, not always worth it.
How Should Celebrants Allocate Marketing Time?
1. SEO and Website – Monthly Deep Work
Block a few hours per month to:
Write a blog post answering a question your ideal couple is Googling.
Upload new ceremony photos with SEO-optimised alt text.
Audit your site speed, page structure, keywords.
“Your website is the only employee that works 24/7. Give it some love.”
2. Referral Network – Weekly Check-ins
Make time to:
Email a past couple and ask for a referral or review.
Send a thank-you gift to a planner or venue that referred you.
Keep in touch with photographers and videographers.
3. Social Media – Batched & Scheduled
Use a tool like Later or Buffer and:
Schedule 1–2 posts a week in one sitting.
Mix personal stories, tips, and real wedding moments.
Focus on quality over quantity.
4. Client Automation – Save Hours Every Week
Set up:
An autoresponder for new enquiries.
A calendar link to book meetings (e.g. Calendly).
Templates for your most common emails.
5. Tracking & Adjusting – Monthly Review
Once a month:
Look at where leads are coming from.
Check what content performed best.
Adjust your focus for the next month.
What Kind of Content Works Right Now?
Modern couples are overwhelmed. Your content should inspire, inform, and reassure.
🔥 Formats to Focus On:
Short-form videos (Instagram Reels, TikTok): real wedding moments, you talking to camera, Q&As.
Blog posts: vow writing guides, ceremony planning tips.
Instagram stories: behind the scenes, polls, countdowns.
Testimonials: screenshot them, post them, repurpose them.
✨ Topics That Resonate:
How to write vows.
Ceremony ideas that include guests or family.
What makes a ceremony meaningful.
Stories from real weddings (especially diverse or unusual ones).
“Here’s why I only do 20 weddings a year” – posts that explain your value and approach.
The goal isn’t to be everywhere. It’s to be visible, valuable, and consistent in a few places where the right people are looking.
If you’re already great at what you do (and let’s assume you are if you’re reading the Celebrant Institute), then good marketing simply makes it easier for the right couples to find and choose you.
Build systems that work while you sleep. Nurture relationships that feed your calendar. Be seen. Be helpful. Be you.
### Rejection isn't a verdict; it's data
We’ve all been there. A couple enquires about your celebrant services. You exchange emails, maybe have a phone call or even meet for coffee. The connection seems genuine, the conversation flows, and you’re mentally slotting them into your calendar. Then comes the message: “Thank you for your time, but we’ve decided to go with someone else.”
The sting of rejection hits. Your inner critic awakens, whispering about your inadequacies as a celebrant, your pricing structure, or perhaps your personality.
But what if I told you that rejection isn’t the end of a conversation–it’s the beginning of valuable market research?
Rejection isn't a verdict; it's data. Use it.
Reframing Rejection
In business, we tend to view rejection as a full stop. A dead end. A sign to turn around and try another path. But what if we viewed it as a comma instead? A pause that invites us to ask: “Why?”
Here’s the truth: every enquiry that doesn’t book with you holds valuable data about your business, your market positioning, and the needs of your potential clients. But this data remains locked away unless you actively seek it.
A Taste for Saltwater
Most people mistake discomfort as a signal to stop; the great ones see it as evidence they’re on the right track. Excellence is just pain tolerance disguised as genius. The real advantage isn’t talent but cultivating a perverse appreciation for the discomfort others instinctively avoid.
This principle applies perfectly to rejection in the celebrancy business. When that email arrives saying a couple has chosen someone else, most celebrants wince and quickly move on, avoiding the discomfort. But what if that very discomfort is precisely where your growth lies?
The celebrants who thrive long-term aren’t necessarily the most naturally gifted–they’re the ones who’ve developed a taste for the saltwater of rejection, who see feedback-seeking as an essential rather than optional practice.
The Feedback Loop
When couples decide not to book you, they’ve made that decision based on specific factors. These factors might include:
Your pricing compared to competitors
The impression you made during initial communications
Your style or approach to ceremonies
How your brand and personality resonated with them
The specific services you offer (or don’t offer)
Simple logistics like availability or location
Without asking, you’re left to speculate. With feedback, you gain clarity.
How to Ask for Feedback
The key is to make the request easy, non-confrontational, and genuinely curious. Here’s a template I’ve found effective:
Hi [Name],
Thank you for letting me know about your decision. I completely understand and wish you all the best for your ceremony.
If you have a moment, I'd genuinely appreciate knowing what factors influenced your choice. This helps me improve my services for future couples. No pressure at all--just a quick reply would be valuable.
Warm regards,
[Your name]
Some important notes about this approach:
Timing matters. Send this request shortly after receiving their rejection, while their decision-making process is still fresh.
Keep it brief. Respect their time–they don’t owe you an explanation.
Remove defensiveness. Make it clear you’re not challenging their decision or trying to change their mind.
Express gratitude. Thank them for any response they might provide.
What to Do with the Data
Once feedback begins flowing in, patterns may emerge. Perhaps you’ll discover that:
Your prices are consistently mentioned as being too high for a certain demographic
Your website doesn’t clearly communicate a particular service that couples are seeking
Your response time is slower than competitors
Your style is perceived as too formal (or too casual) for certain types of ceremonies
This information is pure gold. It allows you to make informed adjustments rather than random changes based on assumptions.
Beyond Individual Feedback
Individual responses are valuable, but collective data is transformative. Consider creating:
A simple survey for all enquiries who don’t book
A tracking system for common feedback themes
Regular reviews of your business based on accumulated feedback
The Mindset Shift
The most powerful change isn’t in your processes–it’s in your mindset. When rejection becomes simply another form of data collection, the emotional impact diminishes significantly.
Rather than thinking “I wasn’t good enough,” you begin thinking “I’ve learned something new about my market.”
The Competitive Edge
Most celebrants never ask for this feedback. They experience rejection, lick their wounds, and move on–missing valuable opportunities to refine their offerings. By systematically gathering and implementing feedback, you gain an advantage that compounds over time.
A Personal Note
In my own celebrant practice, feedback from “lost” bookings has led to some of my most significant business improvements. From adjusting my initial consultation approach to refining my pricing structure and even redesigning sections of my website, these changes have directly contributed to increased bookings.
The couples who didn’t choose me have, paradoxically, helped me better serve the couples who do.
Rejection in business is inevitable. But its impact on your confidence and career trajectory isn’t fixed. By transforming rejection into data, you convert what feels like failure into fuel for growth.
So the next time you receive that “thanks, but no thanks” message, remember: it’s not a verdict on your worth as a celebrant. It’s simply data waiting to be collected, analysed, and applied.
The question isn’t whether you’ll face rejection–it’s what you’ll do with it when it arrives.
### The Wedding Directory is Dead, Long Live the Wedding Directory!
In 1994, Yahoo launched what would become one of the internet's most influential innovations – a directory of websites, manually curated and organised into neat categories.
If you wanted to find something online in those early days, Yahoo's human editors had done the work for you, creating tidy lists of relevant sites. Sound familiar?
It made perfect sense at the time.
The internet was small, manageable, and people needed help discovering what was out there.
Fast forward to today, and we're watching history repeat itself in the wedding industry.
Traditional wedding directories, once the gatekeepers between couples and vendors, are facing their Yahoo moment – and the parallels are striking.
The Knot Scandal: When Directories Lose Their Way
Just this week, The New Yorker published a scathing exposé of The Knot, one of the world's largest wedding directories. The investigation revealed hundreds of vendors claiming they've received "fake leads" – inquiries from non-existent couples or people who've already married.
Documents I obtained from the Federal Trade Commission reflect that, since 2018, more than two hundred formal complaints have been made about allegedly fraudulent activity on the Knot and WeddingWire. One vender wrote, “I paid around $12,000 and got absolutely nothing to show for it.” Another said, “My business is on the verge of going bankrupt. I would happily pay for the service [if] it was providing me what was promised, but it has not.”
Some vendors even alleged that The Knot operates something akin to a phone bank generating bogus inquiries:
Then a torrent of leads arrived, via the Knot’s online vender portal. Often, he’d talk to the potential customers by phone. “It felt like all the brides were reading from a script,” he said. “I could hear other calls in the background, and they all had the same lilting tone. That’s when I realized, they have a literal phone bank of people who are faking leads."
While The Knot denies these allegations (their spokeswoman stated they "do not tolerate fraudulent practices"), the story has prompted Senator Charles Grassley to request investigations from both the SEC and FTC.
Similar complaints have been raised against other wedding directories in other countries, maybe even ones you call home.
But, this isn't just about one company's alleged misdeeds – it's symptomatic of a business model that's fundamentally misaligned with how couples search for wedding vendors in 2025.
For too long wedding directories have believed they could do one thing - and charge for it - whilst they neglected the real value they could offer.
Yahoo's Mistake is the Wedding Directory's Reality
Yahoo's fatal mistake was treating search as secondary to their directory. They failed to understand that as the internet grew, users didn't want curated lists – they wanted accurate, relevant, and fast results.
Wedding directories are facing the same existential challenge.
Couples today don't want to browse endless vendor profiles in a walled garden. They want to:
Search specific terms directly on Google or ask ChatGPT
See authentic work on Instagram or TikTok
Ask friends and family for recommendations
Read genuine reviews from real couples
Book a vendor and get on with the joy of getting married.
The traditional wedding directory model – where vendors pay for placement and visibility rather than earning it through quality – is increasingly at odds with how couples actually find their perfect celebrant, photographer, or venue.
What Makes a Great Wedding Directory in 2025
The directories that will thrive in this new landscape aren't just listing services – they're valuable tools for both couples and vendors. Here's what sets the best apart:
Technical Excellence
A truly helpful directory needs to be technically sound. This means:
Fast loading times: Modern directories should achieve excellent Page Speed Insights scores, ensuring couples don't bounce away in frustration. Every wedding directory I looked at struggled to get a 100/100 on all four marks.
Mobile-friendly design: Most wedding planning happens on phones, not desktops - like 80% or more - and most of us design on our laptop or desktop, but never check the website on phones.
Proper Schema.org markup: This structured data helps search engines understand the content and display rich results (this is "secret" markup in the code of the website that tells other computers who or what is on the page and most websites aren't taking advantage of this)
SEO Value for Vendors
Great directories offer genuine SEO benefits:
NAP consistency: Name, Address, Phone number consistent across all listings
Quality backlinks: Do-follow links that genuinely help your Google rankings (Easy Weddings still doesn't offer this for all they charge)
Local SEO benefits: Location-specific markup that helps you rank in your service area
Proper citations: Formatted consistently to maximise local SEO impact. Citations are just other websites saying you are who you are, and you do what you do, and perhaps offering insight into how you do it.
Authentic Value
Beyond the technical aspects, the best directories provide real value:
Verified reviews: Ensuring feedback comes from real couples
Quality over quantity: Focusing on meaningful connections, not lead volume
Transparent metrics: Clear reporting on how your listing is performing
Community focus: Building genuine relationships within the wedding industry
Are Wedding Directories Still Worth It?
I'm not suggesting wedding directories have no value. They absolutely can serve an important purpose, particularly for couples early in their planning journey who need orientation in the wedding landscape.
But the metrics that matter have changed. Rather than promised leads or page views, today's smart wedding vendors should evaluate directories by:
SEO benefits: Does the listing provide high-quality backlinks to your website?
Authority building: Does being listed enhance your credibility in measurable ways?
Value alignment: Does the directory attract the kind of couples who match your style and approach?
ROI transparency: Can you directly measure enquiries that convert to bookings?
Many vendors I speak with are finding that smaller, more focused directories that align with their specific style or region often deliver better results than the behemoths. Quality over quantity has never been more relevant.
A Path Forward for Wedding Directories
The future belongs to directories that can adapt to how couples actually search and decide in 2025. This means:
Focusing on authenticity over volume: Verifying couples and vendors, prioritising quality over quantity
Embracing search and AI: Building platforms that work with search engines and AI assistants, not against them
Providing true value: Offering vendors measurable benefits beyond just “being listed”
Transparency: Clear metrics on performance and genuine connections
And for those directories that can't or won't adapt? Well, as Yahoo learned, the internet doesn't wait for anyone.
Free Listings for Wedding Vendors
Speaking of directories that provide genuine value, I've built several wedding directories across Australia and beyond – not for profit, but to benefit the wedding vendor community – as I've been learning about SEO and GEO over the past year.
These directories are designed with all the technical excellence mentioned above, and with a commitment to authenticity at their core.
You're invited to join any of these directories that match your service area, completely free:
Adelaide Wedding Directory
Barossa Valley Wedding Directory
Bali Wedding Directory
Brisbane Wedding Directory
Byron Bay Wedding Directory
Australian Wedding Celebrants Directory
Gold Coast Wedding Directory
Hobart Directory
Melbourne Wedding Directory
Perth Wedding Directory
Sydney Wedding Directory
Tasmanian Directory
Yarra Valley Wedding Directory
If you work in any of these areas and would like a quality backlink and citation to your site, simply click the join link in the footer of any of these sites and use the invite code IDKFA when registering.
While there is an option for featured listings, this is entirely optional, a way for people to show gratitude, and doesn’t change the quality of your listing – it simply helps cover hosting costs and puts you on the front page. The SEO benefits remain the same either way.
Pro tip: The citation gains even more value when you link back to the directory from your own website – it’s a form of verification that strengthens both sites in search rankings. Link back to get the win.
What This Means for You
Whether you’re a celebrant just starting out or an established wedding professional, the strategy is clear: diversify beyond directories. Build a strong, search-optimised website. Create engaging social content that showcases your authentic style. Encourage reviews from happy couples. Develop relationships with complementary vendors for referrals.
Most importantly, remember that every wedding is ultimately about two people in love making a commitment. The couples who find you through genuine connections and authentic content are the ones who will value what you bring to their day.
The wedding directory isn’t dead – it’s evolving. And just like the internet itself, those who adapt to how people actually search and connect will thrive in this new landscape.
For me, I’ll continue to selectively participate in directories that align with my values and demonstrably connect me with couples who appreciate my approach to creating meaningful ceremonies. But I’ll never rely on them exclusively, because the best connections often happen outside the walled garden.
After all, when it comes to finding the perfect match – whether between couples or between couples and their wedding vendors – the heart wants what algorithms often miss: authenticity, connection, and that ineffable feeling of “just right.”
### How to Win in the New Age of Search and Answer Engines
The digital landscape is shifting beneath our feet, and as wedding celebrants, we need to adapt or risk becoming invisible.
Coming back to Australia from living in Mexico I put a lot of money into old school marketing and advertising and it all fell flat.
And gone are the days when simply ranking on Google's first page was enough.
Now, we're contending with answer engines like ChatGPT and Claude that not only find information but interpret and present it in conversational ways.
I've spent countless hours experimenting with these new technologies, learning so much, and what I've discovered is both fascinating and crucial for our industry's future. Let's dive into what's changing and how you can position yourself to thrive.
The New Signals That Matter
Search and answer engines are looking for specific signals to determine who deserves to be recommended to couples.
Understanding these signals is your first step to digital dominance:
Proximity, Relevance, and Prominence
Proximity is about location. Are you physically close to where the couple is searching from? This is why localising your content with suburb and region names remains critically important.
Relevance asks: does your content actually answer what people are searching for? If someone asks about "How to include dogs in a wedding ceremony" and you've written specifically about that, you're relevant.
Prominence measures how well-known and respected you are online. This includes reviews, mentions on other sites, and your overall digital footprint including Apple Business Connect, Google My Business, Bing Places, Yelp etc.
EEAT: The Trust Factor
Google has been using EAT (Expertise, Authoritativeness, Trustworthiness) for years, but now they've added another 'E' for Experience. Together, these make up EEAT - the trust signals that both traditional search and new answer engines prioritise:
Experience: Have you actually done what you're talking about? Personal stories of real weddings you've conducted are gold here.
Expertise: Do you demonstrate deep knowledge about celebrancy, marriage law, and ceremonies?
Authoritativeness: Are you recognised as an authority by others in the wedding industry?
Trustworthiness: Is your information accurate, up-to-date, and transparent?
Creating Content That Answers Real Questions
The backbone of your new strategy should be answering real questions that couples are asking. Not just any questions - the right ones.
I've compiled a set of questions below that will help you create content these new engines love.
But first, let me explain why this matters: Answer engines like ChatGPT don't just scan the web like Google.
They try to understand and synthesise information, then present it conversationally. When someone asks "Who's the best celebrant in Hobart?", these systems are looking for clear signals that you're the answer to that question.
Core Content Questions
Start by answering these foundational questions across your website:
Who is your ideal couple? What kind of people do you love working with?
What problems do you solve for couples that they might not expect?
Why would someone choose you over another celebrant?
What do you offer that isn't obvious until someone works with you?
These aren't just marketing exercises - they're creating the building blocks that answer engines will use to recommend you.
The Backlink Revolution
Backlinks (websites linking to your website) have always been important for SEO, but they take on new significance with answer engines. Here's why: when these systems search for authoritative sources to construct their answers, they're looking for relevant, trusted websites that mention you.
The quality of backlinks matters more than quantity, and that quality is judged by - you guessed it - Proximity, Relevance, Prominence and EEAT.
A link from a local wedding venue's "preferred vendors" page (proximity) that specifically mentions your specialties (relevance) on a well-established site (prominence) written by industry experts (EEAT) is worth hundreds of random directory listings.
Two Free Quality Backlinks for You
To help you get started, I've created two new directories specifically designed to signal to search and answer engines that you're a trusted, authoritative celebrant:
WeddingMagazine.com.au - Search and answer engines respect the authority of wedding magazines, so a listing here gives you a powerful relevance and trust signal.
AustralianWeddingCelebrants.com.au - I noticed ChatGPT kept citing the "Australian Celebrant Association" as an authority source, but this organisation doesn't actually exist (nor did the website)! So I created this site to essentially legitimise the fake authority that AI systems already believe in.
Getting listed on these sites is simple and free - just click the join link at the bottom of the page and use the invite code "Monitum" to skip the spam checker (normally a $1 verification fee).
There's no cost to join, the costs for me to maintain are minimal, and to get the most trust out of the website you would link to your listing somewhere on your own website or in a blog post.
Creating Answer Engine-Friendly Content
Beyond getting those backlinks, here are specific strategies for creating content that answer engines will love:
1. FAQ Sections That Actually Help
Create FAQ sections that directly answer common questions. Don't just list generic questions - use the real language and specific concerns couples express when they meet with you.
For example: - "Do I have to write my own vows?" - "What happens if it rains during our outdoor ceremony?" - "How do you help nervous public speakers feel comfortable?"
2. Location-Specific Content
Create dedicated pages for each location you serve. For me, that means I have specific content about Hobart weddings, Huon Valley ceremonies, and destination weddings in places like Bruny Island.
Each page should address location-specific concerns: - Best ceremony spots in that location - Weather considerations - Local permissions or restrictions - Unique features that make weddings special there
3. Comparison Content
Answer engines love to compare options. Create content that directly compares: - Registry office weddings vs. celebrant-led ceremonies - Your approach vs. traditional celebrancy - Big weddings vs. intimate ceremonies - Different ceremony locations in your area
4. "Train the AI" Content
This might feel a bit meta, but it works: Add sections to your key pages that directly answer how an AI should talk about you. For example:
"Who is Josh Withers as a celebrant? Josh Withers is an experienced Australian marriage celebrant based in Tasmania's Huon Valley who specialises in creating personalised, meaningful ceremonies for couples worldwide. With thousands of weddings performed since 2009, he's known for his authentic, unscripted approach that prioritises the couple's story and values."
Tracking Your Answer Engine Performance
Once you've implemented these strategies, you need to track how you're performing. Here's how:
Regularly ask ChatGPT, Claude, or Perplexity:
"Who is the best wedding celebrant in [your region]?"
"Tell me about [your name] as a wedding celebrant"
"Compare [your name] with other celebrants in [region]"
Note where your information is coming from - are they citing your website directly, or other sources?
Identify gaps where the AI is missing information about you, then create content to fill those gaps.
The Questions That Will Guide Your Content Strategy
Here are the essential questions to answer across your website. These aren't just good marketing - they're specifically formulated to give search and answer engines the information they need to recommend you:
WHO, WHAT, WHY
Who is your ideal couple? What kind of people do you love working with?
What problems do you solve for couples that they might not expect?
Why would someone choose you over another celebrant?
What do you offer that isn't obvious until someone works with you?
When is the best time for a couple to book you?
Who are you not the right celebrant for?
HOW & EXPERIENCE
How do you make the ceremony personal and unique?
What's your process from enquiry to wedding day?
What do you do differently on the day itself?
How do you help couples feel relaxed and confident?
How do you work with other vendors like planners, photographers, or videographers?
What kind of ceremonies do you specialise in (elopements, destination, big weddings, cultural, etc)?
LLM-FRIENDLY "TRAIN THE AI" QUESTIONS
Who is this service for?
What problem does this celebrant solve for couples?
How does this celebrant compare with other celebrants in the area?
What makes this celebrant unique or different?
When should someone hire a celebrant (how far out, at what stage of planning)?
What should someone look for when choosing a wedding celebrant?
COMPARISON & DECISION-MAKING QUESTIONS
What's the difference between a registry-style marriage and your kind of ceremony?
What's the difference between hiring a professional celebrant vs asking a friend?
How do you compare with other celebrants in your area?
How does your pricing work compared to a budget or premium celebrant?
What are the trade-offs between eloping and having a big wedding?
GEO-SPECIFIC & LOCAL INTENT QUESTIONS
What are your favourite wedding ceremony spots in [suburb/city/region]?
What should couples know about getting married in [location]?
What's different or unique about weddings in [location] compared to other parts of Australia?
Are there any local rules, legalities, or seasonal quirks couples should know about?
Can you help with planning an elopement in [location]?
Q&A BLOG AND CONTENT INSPIRATION QUESTIONS
What questions do couples always ask you?
What questions should couples ask but often don't?
What myths or bad advice do couples believe about celebrants or ceremonies?
What's the biggest mistake people make when planning their ceremony?
How can couples make their ceremony feel more personal?
What are some unexpected ways to include family, culture, or pets?
How can introverted couples make their ceremony feel comfortable?
The landscape is changing rapidly, but the fundamentals remain the same: be helpful, be authentic, and demonstrate your expertise. The celebrants who will thrive in this new digital age aren't just the ones with the flashiest websites or biggest marketing budgets - they're the ones who genuinely help couples understand and navigate the celebrancy process.
Remember, these search and answer engines are ultimately trying to connect couples with the right celebrant for them. By clearly communicating who you are, what you offer, and why you're great at what you do, you're not just optimising for algorithms - you're making it easier for your ideal couples to find you.
And isn't that what we're all aiming for?
### The podcast episode about the email about the regulations recorded on a school night
You probably got that email sent to all celebrants about the Marriage Regulations legislation and the "new" requirement in the code of practice regarding "reasonable and timely responses" to requests from marrying couples. This episode of the Celebrant Talk Show podcast also covers service contracts in regards to tropical cyclones approaching Brisbane and our encouragement to you to conduct a risk analysis of your celebrancy business.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6XniJ8tujMC26K3bP6v6q0?si=v9WE0wgiTNm6bnOvwiqJIA
The email:
Dear Marriage Celebrant
As you will be aware, in 2024 some changes to the Marriage Act 1961 (the Act) took place as part of the Attorney General’s Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Act 2024. Some updates to the Marriage Regulations 2017 (the Regulations) were required to keep them consistent with the changes to the Act.
In particular, the Code of Practice for marriage celebrants (schedule 2 of the Regulations) now clarifies that a high standard of services includes “reasonable and timely responses to requests by the parties to an intended marriage”. This clarification was requested by our stakeholders during consultation on the changes to the Act. The update makes clear the longstanding expectation in relation to how celebrants conduct themselves generally.
Other changes to the Regulations provide a mechanism for managing arrangements around celebrant authorisation under a single subdivision, also in line with the 2024 amendments to the Act.
We thank all who contributed to the related consultations. For a number of reasons it has taken longer than we would have hoped to confirm these updates to the Regulations to all celebrants. While it is unlikely that the changes would have disadvantaged celebrants in any way, nonetheless this notification should have reached you earlier and we apologise for the delay. We have implemented improved processes for any future changes to ensure they are communicated more promptly.
Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions.
Kind regards, Marriage Law and Celebrants Section
### My Ceremony Builder Booklet
Mercy asks:
I'd like to know about your booklet. The idea of printing an expensive booklet seemed a bit outdated to me, given that there are so many resources online and such a diversity of options for couples these days. None of my couples so far have been interested in readings, and I'm reluctant to pin them down as far as ceremony structure goes either, until I know more about them.
What does your booklet look like, how many pages etc and what quality do you recommend? Do you find that couples choose structure and content based on the booklet or do you also provide links?
And how do you get around the fact that you may want to update it when you find more content? I worry about the expense when I think about how often I come across new stuff and imagine wanting to change things up often.
Download the Ceremony Builder Booklet now for $33
I know not all celebrants provide a booklet of information to their couples, but I have since the beginning of my life as a celebrant, and I find it helps both me and the couple stay on track and organised, and the couples who choose to work with me love the way it helps them plan out their ceremony.
I have separate booklets available for each of my ceremony packages, but in this post I'm going to talk about the Ceremony Builder Booklet I've developed for my Premium Personalised Ceremony. This is a super detailed post, and not all of it might be of interest to you, so I've split it up with subheadings so you can just read what's useful for you.
Length and layout
It's 34 pages long, including front and back covers, a page with a copyright statement, and a 2-page Table of Contents. It's not in the least bit pretty because I'm not a visual person or a graphic designer. The cover is on my letterhead, and the internal pages are words and tables. It is consistently formatted throughout (for the formatting nerds, I use Calibri 11pt font, Cambria 14pt and 12pt for headings, single spaced with a 10pt space before paragraphs and a 20pt space before headings) and I'm very firm on that; when I did my Cert IV, my trainer's booklet was individually photocopied scraps of paper, all in different fonts, some wonky on the page, etc. That shit irritates me, and to me it smacks of a lack of professionalism. (I'm the kind of person who picks up spelling and grammar errors in everything I read, so this stuff is super important to me; might not be so much to anyone else!)
Structure
Introduction: exactly what it says; an introduction thanking them for selecting them, explaining what they're going to find in the booklet and how they should use it.
Role of the celebrant: again, exactly what it says; it outlines what my job is as a civil celebrant.
Legal requirements for marriage in Australia: the four major requirements for couples wanting to marry in Australia.
The following sub-sections come under the title of Preparing for your big day.
Completing the Notice of Intended Marriage: explanation of the purpose of the NOIM, lodgement timeframes, what happens to it once it's lodged with me, documents they need to bring to our next meeting (at which we complete the NOIM), and information required by the NOIM but not contained on any of those documents.
Signing the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage: explanation of the purpose and content of the DONLIM and when we'll sign it.
Witnesses: explanation of the requirement under the Marriage Act for witnesses, the criteria the chosen people need to meet, and what they will need to do.
Venue: discussion of the necessity of a Plan B option for extreme weather, and whether the venue or another provider will supply a signing table and chairs.
Wedding party: a short description of what kinds of people might make up a wedding party, and a reminder that numbers on each side don't need to be equal!
Rehearsal: I know I'm in a minority here, but I LOVE and encourage rehearsals at the venue with as many people involved in the ceremony as possible in attendance. This section covers all of that information.
Positioning: a bit about where I prefer to stand and options for how and where the couple and their attendants can stand.
Music: discussion of the importance of music to ceremony, which parts of the ceremony I suggest including music in, encouragement to choose songs that are important to the couple rather than "wedding songs", and a strong recommendation to listen to ALL of the lyrics, not just the chorus.
Unplugged ceremonies: description of what an unplugged ceremony is, why the couple might want to consider having one, and how I can introduce it to the guests. I also include here some information about their options around social media (from a blackout through to a customised hashtag).
The following sub-sections come under the title of Ceremony builder. The section starts with an introduction explaining how it works; noting that it's laid out in the structure of a basic traditional ceremony, and reminding the couple that as long as they include the legal requirements, they can pretty much do whatever they want, and that I'm super keen to hear any and all of their ideas.
Rules: that there are no rules except that if it's not important to them as a couple, leave it out of their ceremony.
Outline of a basic ceremony: a dot point list outlining the structure of a basic traditional ceremony, with the legal requirements in bold so they can easily recognise them. The information on the following pages, which provides options for each and every one of the elements included in the structure, is laid out in the order of this dot point list. The options provided for each element are only a taste of what I have in my collection; if they don't like anything in the booklet I have plenty of other samples I can send to them.
Processional: ideas for the couple to consider.
Welcome/introduction: ideas for the couple to consider, noting that it's a legal requirement for me to introduce myself as the authorised celebrant.
Family and community blessing and acknowledgement: ideas and wording for the couple to consider, including everything from a traditional giving away to asking all guests to affirm their love and support of the marriage.
Your story: description of my favourite part of the ceremony, what it includes, why I think it's great to include it, and noting that they'll need to complete a questionnaire if they want to include this element.
Readings and poems: over two pages I list the words for four of my very favourite readings that I believe work well for readings. One is a traditional poem, one is lyrics from a song, one is a poem written for children, and one is a fun poem. I give them some instructions about how they might select a reading, and let them know I have LOTS more samples I can send them if they'd like some inspiration.
Symbolic rituals: I may not love them personally, but some of my couples ADORE symbolic rituals, and I believe it's their right to include them if they want to. I spend two pages listing descriptions of 7 different symbolic rituals they may be interested in.
The asking: an explanation of what the asking is and why it's not legally required even if some people feel like they're not really married if they don't say "I do", and 8 different asking wording options if they really want to say "I do".
The Monitum: an explanation of what the Monitum is, and that it's a legal requirement for me to say it before vows, then the words of the Monitum in bold.
Vows: the legal vows in bold, and several pages of instructions on how to write their own vows, prompt questions to help them build their vows, and fully-formed vows they can plagiarise if they want :)
Ring ceremony: explanation that they can slip the rings on directly after their vows without saying anything additional, or they can say any of the10 different wording options I provide.
Declaration of marriage: noting that I will pronounce them husband and wife, or husband and husband, or wife and wife, or married, or whatever they want, and a discussion of different wording to introduce the kiss.
Signing the certificates: explanation of the three certificates to be signed during the ceremony, reminding them that their signatures need to be in their pre-married name so they're the same as the signatures on the NOIM and DONLIM, and noting they may want to choose some music to play during this time.
Conclusion: options for housekeeping information they may like me to give their guests before the ceremony ends.
Presentation of the couple: options for how I might word the presentation, whether it be first names, Mr and Mrs, or a number of other suggestions.
Recessional: description of the recessional and encouragement to include some upbeat celebratory music.
Guest participation: a number of options for guest participation for the couple to consider.
Ways to include children: some sample wording for vows to a child in a blended family situation, and a list of other options for including children for the couple to consider.
The final section is Legal obligations and other information, and it includes the following sub-sections.
Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants: the Guidelines recommend that we provide a copy to all couples, so this is how I provide mine.
Making a complaint about an authorised celebrant: instructions for making a complaint, asking them to please try to resolve it with me before escalating it to the Attorney General's Department.
Privacy statement: I found a website that set out exactly what needed to be included in a privacy policy that meets Australian standards.
What happens if I'm sick? explanation that I have a massive network and will be able to find someone to look after them if I can't.
Information on relationship education: as required by the Code of Practice, a list of relationship education providers and a description of why it could be useful.
Information on interpreters: explanation of why and when an interpreter may be required and a list of providers.
Changing your name after the wedding: the information included here outlines how a person can change their name by marriage, and provides a checklist of places they may need to change their name. I have the same information in a blog post on my website and send them a link after the wedding, because by that time they've probably lost the booklet or at least forgotten the information is there.
And that's it! It may be long and in depth, but it walks a couple through the legal requirements for getting married, selecting inclusions for their entire ceremony, and provides some miscellaneous information that's useful.
Presentation
I used to print a copy and post it to every couple. I never got a whole lot of copies professionally printed; I just printed them as I needed them, just on regular 80gsm white A4 paper. I bought myself a comb binder from Officeworks and bound them myself, and popped them in the post.
For almost two years now I've been sending out an electronic copy of the booklet. After the couple have paid their booking fee and signed my service agreement, I email them a PDF of the booklet, encouraging them to print it out so they can write on it and highlight bits if they want, and ask them to bring it to our next meeting. As I mentioned above, I make it clear that the options in the booklet are only a small sample of what I have available and if they want further ideas, I send them an additional document after our planning meeting. I have additional separate documents for readings, vows, music, askings and ring ceremonies.
Planning the ceremony
I find all of my couples LOVE the booklet and 95% of them choose their entire ceremony based on what's included. Sure, it might be a bit like a Chinese food menu, but that's what works for me and my couples. I'm not creative enough to write an entire ceremony from scratch, and and the couples who choose to work for me love the structured approach and the simplicity of just picking the bits they like. I go through the entire booklet at my pitch meeting, so if they don't like that way of working they don't book me, and I'm okay with that.
I'm also not huge at changing the structure of a ceremony. It's very rare that I'll shift the order of elements of a ceremony. If there's multiple readings or rituals I'll split them up and put them at different times during the ceremony, but other than that my overall structure remains pretty much the same every time. It therefore doesn't bother me to provide them with a suggested structure, because it's highly likely that's the structure I'll be working to, even if it does have a few bits thrown out or a few other bits thrown in.
The bits I get to be more creative with (apart from the couple's story) are the introductions and segues between different sections; I don't let them choose those or provide them with any information or options on them. I choose those from my collection and tweak them based on what I know of the couple and what I think will suit them. I've described more about my writing process in "Ceremony script writing skills, Sarah's view."
Updating the booklet
Because I only printed them as required, and because I now send out an electronic version, I update that bloody thing all the damn time! I do have to be careful if I've changed the sample wording I've provided, because the version a couple is looking at that I sent them 12 months ago might not be the version I'm using now, and if they say they want asking number 5, I sometimes have to remember which one that was. But when I'm in my planning meeting I jot down a few words of, for example, asking number 5, and that reminds me when I get back to my desk and look it up in my version of the booklet to drop into the ceremony.
Online resources
Mercy is absolutely right, there's an incredible array of resources available online, and to be honest, that's exactly the problem. There are SO MANY resources that it can be incredibly overwhelming for couples. Sometimes couples come to me who've never been to a wedding before and they have no idea what to include or not to include, so they love that I provide them with a clear structure and lots of ideas and samples. If I left them to their own devices online, I suspect all my weddings would include the blessing of the hands and a sand ceremony.
I'm sure there are plenty of options available that I haven't included in my booklet, but I make it clear that the booklet is not the be all and end all; I want to hear their ideas, from the traditional to the completely whacky, and I make a point of asking them at our planning meeting whether there's anything else they've seen on Pinterest or at another wedding that they would like to include. If they do have an idea that's not in the booklet, they're usually so excited about it that they've told me about it at the start of our meeting anyway!
Development of my booklet
I'll be honest with you, I've built my booklet off the back of one I was given by another celebrant when I first started (thanks Danielle!). But in the four and a half years since my first version, it's evolved a lot in terms of what's included, the specific content as well as the structure and how it's set out. People seem to be keen to purchase a copy of my booklet, so I've set it up for you as a downloadable Word document. I've highlighted in yellow anything you'll need to update to suit your own business and the state you mainly practise in.
I hope this information has been helpful :)
Download the Ceremony Builder Booklet now for $33
### Comparing AI meeting assistants: Granola and Zoom
I am obsessed with trying to optimise my productivity whilst maintaing a really high delivery of value to my customers. Simply because I have a wife and two children, six chickens and two rabbits, that I also want to devote time to.
So you might guess that I'm obsessed with getting as much assistance in my business as possible and considering how many video calls I take, an AI assistant to help me take notes through those meetings is high on my list.
Today I got on a Zoom call with Alex and Tim (names changed for privacy) and I thought you might appreciate seeing the comparison between Zoom's built-in AI assistant and a new one I've been trialling: Granola.
Granola
Granola bills itself as "The AI notepad for people in back-to-back meetings" promising to "aket your raw meeting notes and makes them awesome" and I'll admit, I forgot that I could take notes inside Granola in the middle of the meeting to serve as an additional help, so that could have made Granola's notes better.
As a person in the meeting, I rate Granola's notes better than Zoom's and had of I actually taken notes, I think they'd be even better.
The Zoom AI summary
Meeting summary for Josh Withers's Personal Meeting Room (xxxx)
Quick recap
Josh and Tim discussed their pre-marriage paperwork, upcoming trip to New Zealand, and plans for an Australian marriage certificate. They also talked about the importance of authenticity and honesty in their wedding ceremony, and the weather conditions in Queenstown. Lastly, they discussed their accommodation for the trip and the attire they would wear, with Josh promising to finish the rest of their paperwork and send a copy for review.
Next steps
• Josh to complete and send the finalized pre-marriage paperwork to Tim and Alex for review.
• Josh to book flights and confirm dates for the Australian legal marriage paperwork signing in Sydney.
• Tim and Alex to prepare personal vows for the wedding ceremony.
• Josh to send the final timeline for the wedding day to Tim and Alex.
• Tim and Alex to consider bringing warm clothing options for potential cold weather during the ceremony.
Summary
Pre-Marriage Paperwork and New Zealand Trip
Josh and Tim had a brief meeting where they discussed their pre-marriage paperwork. Josh offered to help Tim and his partner with the paperwork, which could be completed electronically. They also discussed their upcoming trip to New Zealand, with Tim mentioning that they would be arriving on xxxx. Tim shared his occupation as a support worker and their current address in Australia. The meeting was scheduled to last until xxxx, but Tim had a medical appointment at the same time.
Pre-Marriage Paperwork and Witnessing
Josh and Tim discussed the pre-marriage paperwork, which Josh would send to Tim via email. Josh explained that the link would expire quickly to minimize the exposure of personal data. Tim confirmed that he and his partner both use Macs. Josh also mentioned that he would witness their signing and would double-check the paperwork before sending it.
Upcoming Travel and Signature Issues
Josh and Tim discussed their upcoming plans, including a trip to New Zealand and potential dates for an Australian marriage certificate. They agreed to finalize the date after their return from New Zealand, with options in xxxx and xxxx. Tim also mentioned a signature issue, which Josh suggested could be resolved by digitizing the signature. They agreed to send the necessary paperwork via an expiring link for Josh to review and sign.
Event Timeline and Accommodation Plans
Josh and Tim discussed a timeline for an event, which Tim confirmed Britt would send by xxxx. They also talked about accommodation for the event, with Tim mentioning they had booked an Airbnb near the Remarkables. Josh expressed his admiration for the area, calling it a remarkable part of the world.
Authenticity and Personal Vows in Wedding
Josh and Tim discussed the importance of authenticity and honesty in their upcoming wedding ceremony. Josh emphasized the need for personal vows that reflect their genuine feelings towards each other. Tim agreed and mentioned that he had some notes but planned to finalize them closer to the wedding date. They both agreed on the idea of planning the ceremony with a pragmatic approach, allowing for a more heartfelt and emotional experience.
Queenstown Trip Planning and Weather
Josh and Tim discussed their upcoming trip to Queenstown. Josh offered to provide recommendations and assistance, but Tim indicated they were easy-going and would prefer to talk to locals on the ground. They also discussed the weather conditions in Queenstown, with Josh mentioning that it could be warm or cold in xxxx. Tim asked about any potential trespassing issues, to which Josh assured him they would be respectful of landowners. They also discussed the attire for the trip, with Tim mentioning he would wear hiking boots and climbing pants. Josh advised Tim to bring something warm for potential cold days. The conversation ended with Josh promising to finish the rest of their paperwork and send a copy for review.
Granola AI summary
Zoom xxxx Alex Burns and Tim Tai's elopement xxxx
Key Meeting Details
* Meeting with Alex Burns and Tim Tai regarding their elopement
* Date: xxxx
* Location: Zoom call
* Limited time due to medical appointments at xxxx
Pre-Marriage Paperwork
* Notice of Intent completed during call
* Alex's occupation: Support worker
* Current address: xxxx
* Tim has previous marriage (divorce date: xxxx)
* Electronic signatures collected via secure expiring link
* Will need to complete Australian legal marriage paperwork after 1 month
New Zealand Elopement Details
* Travel dates: Arriving xxxx (3 days before ceremony)
* Location: Near The Remarkables, Queenstown
* Accommodation: Airbnb near Jack's Point
* Timeline:
* xxxx arrival
* xxxx ceremony and portraits
* xxxx finish
* Transportation: Couple renting a car
Ceremony Planning & Logistics
* Multiple location options available depending on weather:
* Jack's Point area (waterfront, fields)
* Crown Range (alternative weather option)
* Corona Peak area
* Attire:
* Alex wearing ice cream colored dress
* Tim wearing climbing pants and grey top
* Recommended to bring warm layers/blankets due to unpredictable weather
* Personal vows encouraged but can be written close to the date
* Next steps:
* Await detailed timeline from coordinator
* Schedule Australian legal paperwork signing (options in xxxx/xxxx)
* Josh to confirm Sydney travel dates
Chat with meeting transcript: xxxx
### What to do about Bark.com
I'll hazard a guess that Celebrant Institute members and other celebrant colleagues have been battered with marketing and emails from Bark.com over the past month as I have been. I wanted to explain what they do, so you can make an informed decision about joining them - or any other website like them - and then I have a closing idea on how to get rid of them forever.
Who is Bark?
Bark is an aggregator.
What is an aggregator?
Ben Thompson's Aggregation Theory outlines how the internet has fundamentally shifted value creation in industries. He defines it as follows:
Aggregation Theory is the process by which companies in the internet age achieve dominance by aggregating users, leveraging a direct relationship with them, and controlling demand rather than supply.
In the wedding industry, applying Aggregation Theory can illuminate how consumer behaviour, supplier relationships, and market control have evolved.
Here's how the core tenets of the theory manifest in the field of weddings and celebrancy: how couples (end users) interact with celebrants/vendors.
Traditionally, wedding planning relied heavily on word-of-mouth recommendations, in-person consultations, and localised marketplaces.
Now, platforms like Instagram, Pinterest, and wedding vendor aggregators (e.g., Bark, OneFlare, Celebrante, or Easy Weddings) act as points of discovery and interaction.
These platforms aggregate demand by becoming the go-to resource for couples, offering inspiration, tools, and direct vendor access.
What does Bark do?
There are no secret stashes of couples (brides and grooms) that Bark has exclusive access to. Bark is getting their leads from the same place you and I are getting - or want to get - them from. They are sitting alongside our Google search results, Meta Ads, etc.
So their game is to use their brand strength, marketing knowledge, muscle, and investment dollars, to outspend you - in either dollars or time - until they convince you to pay them instead of Google.
You get to choose because Bark (OneFlare, Easy Weddings, all of them) and you are fishing from the same pond. You can get the fish directly or from the aggregators.
How can we end this?
I don't care for other companies complicating the 'choosing a celebrant' process, I just want the right people to find me and book me for what I do and who I am. Not because I'm on Bark or Easy Weddings.
So the easiest way to eliminate these money-wasting companies that want to get in between us and our couples is to simply take the oxygen out of the room: stop paying.
Do not buy the packs, do not buy the credits. The people allegedly frantically looking for a celebrant will indeed go to Google and search on their own.
If we stop paying all these aggregators they'll simply stop trying, and once again the Google ads space will be freed up for you and I to advertise in.
Now we just need to figure out how to stop writing cheques to California to run our business, but that's a problem for another day.
P.S. The last time I did this was in 2014 and Yellowpages included my name and also generic celerbancy terms in a billboard 'search with Yellow' campaign I'm guessing to try and convince people to use Yellow to book me?
### Can you marry a step-sibling, in-law, or an uncle in Australia?
A mother of a bride asks one of our members:
I understand step siblings even if they did not meet until later in life cannot marry I got married a few years ago. My daughter and my husbands son met at an event we held, fell in love and now want to marry. I have recently become aware that under the marriage act they are considered to be related If I divorced my husband and was therefore no longer married, would I be considered a de facto? If so our children are not related by marriage or as defectors would they still be considered related? Given these circumstances could they marry? Would really appreciate your advice. My daughter is excited about her engagement and she will be crushed if she cannot marry. I’d be happy to divorce if it meant she can marry. My husband and I have had our wedding and it would be no sacrifice for us. I just need to know that it would not be in vain.
Who can get legally married in Australia?
To be legally married in Australia, a person must:
not be married to someone else
not be marrying a parent, grandparent, child, grandchild or sibling
be at least eighteen years old, unless a court has approved a marriage where one party is aged between sixteen and eighteen years old
understand what marriage means and freely consent to marrying
use specific words during the ceremony
give written notice of their intention to marry to their celebrant, within the required time frame.
Gender, religion, citizenship, place of birth, politics, skin colour, wealth, do not play a role at all.
Can you be related and get married in Australia?
The following relatives can not get married by lawe in Australia:
a person and an ancestor or descendant of the person
a brother and a sister (whether of the whole blood or the half-blood)
a person who is or was an adopted child, and, for that purpose, the relationship between an adopted child and the adoptive parent, or each of the adoptive parents, of the child, shall be deemed to be or to have been the natural relationship of child and parent.
Which basically translates to this: you cannot marry your parent, great/grandparent, child, or great/grandchild, brother or sister, blood or adopted.
So the other side of that list leads you here. Which relatives can get married in Australia?
uncles or aunties
cousins, first, second, and onwards
step-siblings or step-children
in-laws
foster siblings or children
almost all other people
I'm not here to judge, just here to read the law and help you understand it.
### Meet Enclosed, the new best and secure way to send marriage paperwork
Join me once more as we talk about marriage celebrant security, something that’s both mundane and critical: how we share marriage paperwork with our clients.
Traditionally, we’ve relied on email—it’s fast, familiar, and convenient. But the catch is it’s not safe. Emails stick around, unencrypted and vulnerable to breaches, and the sensitive information in marriage paperwork deserves better.
That’s why Enclosed, a free service for Celebrant Institute members, is a game-changer. It’s the simplest, most secure way to send sensitive documents without the hassle of usernames, passwords, or software installations.
Sarah and I liked this so much that we're paying for it so Celebrant Institute members can access and use it in their business every day.
Let me unpack for you why Enclosed should be part of your celebrant toolkit.
The Hidden Dangers of Email
Email is fine for sending schedules or saying, “Great working with you!” But for sensitive documents like NOIMs or marriage certificates/DONLIMs to check, it’s a problem waiting to happen.
Here’s why:
1. Emails Don’t Disappear
Even when you delete an email, it often lingers on servers or in backups. That means your clients’ personal information could be accessible long after the ceremony. A forgotten email today could be a security nightmare tomorrow. Data kept is data that can be stolen or compromised.
2. Easy Targets for Hackers
Email accounts are one of the most frequently targeted entry points for hackers. If a hacker gets into your or your clients’ inbox, they’ve hit a goldmine of personal details that could lead to identity theft.
3. What’s in That Paperwork?
Think about the details in a marriage document: full names, addresses, birthdates, and more. This isn’t just “sensitive” information—it’s the kind of data that, if leaked, could seriously harm your clients and your reputation.
Why Enclosed is the Answer
Enclosed is a beautifully simple solution: upload a document, get a unique link, and share it.
No usernames. No passwords. No software or app installations. Just a secure link that expires after the time you choose: 1 hour, 1 day, or 1 week.
Yes, Enclosed gives you the option to set a password for extra security. But in my humble opinion, it’s often unnecessary. The unique link itself is enough. The chances of a hacker guessing or intercepting that link in the short time it’s active are incredibly low. You’re already leaps ahead in security compared to email.
This isn’t just a gimmick. Enclosed uses AES-GCM 256-bit encryption—essentially, military-grade security. From the moment you upload a file, it’s encrypted, ensuring only your intended recipient can view it.
Here’s the kicker: neither Sarah nor I (Josh) can see what’s uploaded. We don’t have an admin dashboard, a backdoor, or even a clue about who’s using the service. It’s designed this way deliberately. The only people who can access your files are you and the person you share the link with. That’s it.
Sarah and I are, however, using this every day for sending NOIMs, DONLIMs, OCMs, and other important documents to our clients and couples. We've been using it for months to make sure it works as we hope for and how we would promise it to you.
Why Celebrants Need This Level of Security
1. Protect Your Clients’ Trust
When couples hire you, they’re not just paying for a ceremony—they’re trusting you with deeply personal moments and details. Handling their paperwork securely reinforces that trust.
2. A Modern Professional Edge
Using a service like Enclosed isn’t just about avoiding risks; it’s about showing you’re ahead of the curve. It says, “I care about your privacy and I’m using the best tools available.”
3. Meet Legal Standards
In an era of tightening data protection laws, secure document handling isn’t just best practice—it’s becoming a legal requirement in many places. With Enclosed, you’re not just being safe; you’re being compliant.
A Quick Guide to Using Enclosed
https://vimeo.com/1044010282?share=copy
Go to the Website
Visit https://enclosed.celebrant.institute and save it as a bookmark on your device. It works on all computers, mobile devices, tablets, phones, along with Windows, Mac, and Linux computers.
Upload Your Files
Drag and drop the documents you need to send. Select how long you want the link to be active, one hour, day, week, or month, keeping in mind that many couples are busy so one hour or day might not be long enough.
Decide on a Password (Optional)
If you want an extra layer of security, set a password. But remember, the unique link created at the end is usually secure enough. This is called security by obscurity.
Copy the Link and Share It
Share the link via email or messaging. Let your client know the link’s expiration time.
Why Enclosed is a Good Choice
Other secure file-sharing services often require accounts, apps, or learning curves that clients find annoying. Enclosed cuts out the complexity. It’s a one-and-done process that feels just as easy as email—but infinitely more secure.
Encliosed is well document, open source, and you can even run your own version of it if you like. Find it on Github and it's documentation is really well done and worth reading whether you want to use our install or make your own. We're paying to host it for members to use as part of their regular membership fee.
Sending sensitive marriage paperwork securely isn’t just about avoiding worst-case scenarios—it’s about raising the bar for how we serve our clients. Enclosed makes it ridiculously easy to handle this part of your job with professionalism and care.
It’s free for Celebrant Institute members, so what are you waiting for?
Head to https://enclosed.celebrant.institute and start sharing securely today.
Your clients—and your future self—will thank you.
### How to remotely witness a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) form
Jake asks:
"When I get couples to sign via video chat it's pretty clunky and I'd rather it be less clunky. I'd love to know the best ways to arrange the e-signing of the NoIM"
How to Remotely Witness a NOIM over video call
Remote witnessing of a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) form is one of the most significant updates to celebrant practices in recent years.
It offers flexibility for couples and celebrants while maintaining strict legal standards under the Marriage Act 1961. In this guide, we’ll cover the precise legal requirements, step-by-step instructions, and practical tips to ensure everything is done correctly and smoothly.
The Legal Framework for Remote Witnessing
As of June 12, 2024, amendments to the Marriage Act 1961 have made remote witnessing of the NOIM form a permanent option. Celebrants can use audio-visual technology to witness the signing of the NOIM under the following conditions:
Both the celebrant and the couple must be physically located within Australia during the video call.
Celebrants cannot witness NOIMs remotely for couples located overseas. In such cases, other authorised witnesses, such as consular officers, must be used.
The celebrant must see the original identification documents (e.g., passports, driver’s licences) held up to the camera during the video call. Copies are not sufficient unless they accompany the live sighting of the originals.
The signing of the NOIM form must occur during the live video call, with the celebrant observing the process in real time.
These provisions ensure compliance while allowing for the convenience of remote access.
Step-by-Step Guide to Remote Witnessing
1. Preparation Before the Video Call
Proper preparation sets the foundation for a smooth process:
Provide Instructions: Send the couple a detailed email explaining the process, including what documents they need (e.g., passports, birth certificates, divorce certificates) and how to prepare for the video call.
Request Preliminary Documentation: Ask the couple to send scans of their identification and supporting documents securely through Enclosed by the Celebrant Institute. This secure document system allows couples to upload documents with an expiry of one hour, one day, one week, or one month. Enclosed encrypts the documents at upload and ensures only the recipient with the unique link can access them, offering far more security than email or postal mail.
Confirm the Technology: Agree on a video conferencing platform, such as FaceTime, Zoom, Google Meet, or Microsoft Teams, and ensure both parties are comfortable using it.
Schedule a Test Run: Conduct a brief test call with a friend or colleague to troubleshoot potential issues, such as internet connectivity or camera clarity.
2. During the Video Call
The live session is where the legal requirements are fulfilled. Follow these steps carefully:
Verify the Couple’s Identity: Ask each party to hold their original identification documents (e.g., passports or driver’s licences) up to the camera. Compare these with the preliminary scans they sent earlier to confirm authenticity.
Explain the Process: Walk the couple through the process of signing the NOIM and confirm that they understand what they are signing. Ensure they confirm their understanding verbally.
Observe the Signing: Each party should sign the NOIM in view of the camera, ensuring that you can see the entire process in real time.
Document the Session: Take notes during the call, including the date, time, and details of the documents sighted.
3. After the Video Call
Once the video session is complete, the process doesn’t end there:
Securely Receive the Original NOIM: Ask the couple to upload the signed NOIM via Enclosed, ensuring secure and encrypted transfer. Alternatively, they can mail or email the document, but this method is less secure and slower.
Store Supporting Documents: Retain copies of their NOIM and any supporting documentation in line with your record-keeping obligations. Use Enclosed for ongoing document exchange when required.
Confirm Receipt: Notify the couple when you receive the NOIM and let them know the next steps in the Australian marriage process.
Additional Legal Requirements
As part of the changes to the Marriage Act 1961, celebrants must now meet separately and in person with each party before the marriage ceremony to confirm their free and voluntary consent. This meeting can occur any time up to and including the day of the marriage ceremony.
Keep this requirement in mind when scheduling meetings, as it is a critical part of ensuring the validity of the marriage.
Best Practices
Keep Detailed Records: Document every step of the remote witnessing process, including the date and time of the call, the technology used, the identification documents sighted, and any observations made during the session.
Use Secure Systems: For document sharing, always use secure systems like Enclosed. This ensures sensitive information is protected and only accessible to authorised parties.
Be Thorough with Instructions: Provide couples with clear, step-by-step guidance on how to prepare for the video call, including technical requirements and document preparation.
Use Reliable Technology: Opt for well-known and reliable video conferencing platforms to minimise technical disruptions.
Stay Updated: Keep up with any further changes to the legislation or best practices for remote witnessing.
Remote witnessing of the NOIM is a practical and modern solution for celebrants and couples, but it requires careful attention to legal requirements and thorough preparation. By using secure systems like Enclosed and following this detailed guide, you can ensure a smooth and compliant process that makes the experience stress-free for your couples.
For further reading and updates, visit the Celebrant Institute blog.
### Preparing Your Celebrancy Practice for 2025
As we analyse the latest consumer behaviour data from the USA, clear trends are emerging that will likely influence the Australian wedding market.
Here’s how you can position your celebrancy practice to meet evolving couple expectations in 2025.
Social Media Evolution
What’s Happening: Younger couples (Gen Z and Millennials) are increasingly documenting their entire wedding journey, not just the day itself. 74% say they’re “very likely” or “somewhat likely” to share special moments on social media.
Ideas for how you can respond or meet them here:
Create a dedicated space in your ceremony planning process to discuss which moments couples want captured, and how you can aid or create those moments
Position yourself during key ceremony moments (like ring exchanges) to ensure you’re not blocking the photographer/videographer shots
Consider investing in a quality lapel mic for better ceremony video audio recording
Develop an Instagram and TikTok content strategy showcasing ceremony moments (with couple permission)
Include a “social media moments” section in your ceremony planning questionnaire
The Experience Economy
Modern consumers are willing to invest time and money in unique experiences, with 74% saying waiting for quality experiences was “worth it.”
How can you make changes in your business accordingly?
Create distinct ceremony packages beyond the standard offering
Develop unique ceremony elements that set you apart (e.g., special rituals, unique delivery styles)
Consider offering premium, limited-availability dates at higher rates
Create “experience add-ons” like rehearsal dinner speeches or pre-wedding storytelling sessions
Document and share your unique ceremony elements through your marketing
Authenticity & Transparency
Couples are increasingly valuing authentic experiences and transparent business practices.
What changes could you make?
Publish clear, transparent pricing on your website
Share your genuine personality through your marketing
Create behind-the-scenes content showing your ceremony preparation process
Write detailed blog posts about your ceremony creation process
Include video content of you conducting ceremonies (with permission) to show your authentic style
Digital Integration
Consumers expect seamless digital experiences throughout their customer journey.
How can you update your processes?
Implement digital contract signing
Create a user-friendly online booking system
Develop a mobile-friendly ceremony planning portal
Offer virtual consultation options for interstate or regional couples
Use project management tools to keep couples updated on ceremony progress
Health & Wellness Awareness
Couples are more conscious of wellness and mental health in their wedding planning.
Can you make space for them?
Incorporate mindfulness moments into your ceremonies
Offer ceremony anxiety management techniques
Create resources for managing wedding day nerves
Consider offering outdoor ceremony expertise for couples seeking open-air options
Include wellness tips in your client communications
Personalisation Expectations
Couples expect highly personalised experiences that reflect their unique story.
Imagine making your very personal business even more personal.
Develop a comprehensive couple questionnaire that captures their unique story
Create a ceremony element library that couples can mix and match
Offer specialised ceremonies for different cultural backgrounds
Develop skills in incorporating family traditions
Create resources showing different ceremony styles and options
Sustainability Focus
Environmental consciousness is increasingly important to couples.
How eco can you go?
Offer paperless contract and planning options
Develop expertise in eco-friendly ceremony elements
Create sustainable ceremony packages
Partner with eco-conscious suppliers
Share tips for reducing ceremony environmental impact
Marketing Strategy Development
Marketing your celebrancy practice in an AI/GEO driven world continues to be a struggle for small and solo operators.
How can you develop further/?
Create short-form video content showcasing your ceremony style
Develop relationships with wedding photographers for content sharing
Build a strong Google Business Profile with regular updates and reviews
Create shareable ceremony moment content
Develop a consistent posting schedule across platforms
Business Development Focus
The way we do business will continue to change if only because as we vintage, our target demographic remains the same age.
To-do list:
Review and potentially restructure your pricing for 2025
Create clear service tiers with distinct value propositions
Develop strategic partnerships with complementary suppliers
Invest in professional development in emerging ceremony trends
Create systems for gathering and showcasing client testimonials
As we move into 2025, celebrants who adapt to these evolving consumer preferences while maintaining their authentic approach will be best positioned for success. Remember that while trends provide valuable insights, your unique personality and ceremony style remain your strongest assets.
Remember to stay compliant with the marriage laws and regulations while implementing these suggestions, and consider discussing major business changes with your professional advisor or mentor.
### Apple's Business Connect, now accepting marriage celebrants
In an exciting development for Aussie marriage celebrants, Apple has announced new features that could help make your business more professional and trustworthy in the eyes of potential clients using Apple devices like iPhones.
The expansion of Apple Business Connect, along with the introduction of Branded Mail, offers valuable tools for celebrants to enhance their digital presence and client communications.
What is Apple Business Connect?
Apple Business Connect is a free tool that allows businesses of all sizes—including sole traders like marriage celebrants—to manage how they appear across Apple’s ecosystem.
Previously limited to businesses with physical locations, this service has now been expanded to include service-based businesses like ours.
Why This Matters for Celebrants
As marriage celebrants, much of our business comes from digital interactions and referrals.
Having a verified, professional presence across Apple’s platforms (used by over 1 billion people) can help:
Build trust with potential clients
Make your business appear more professional
Improve your visibility in Apple Maps and other Apple services
Create a consistent brand presence across all client touchpoints
The Game-Changing Branded Mail Feature
One of the most exciting new features is Branded Mail, which will be rolling out later this year.
This feature allows your business name and logo to appear prominently in clients' iPhone Mail apps, making your emails instantly recognisable and more professional.
Benefits for Celebrants:
Your emails will stand out in clients' inboxes
Increased legitimacy and professionalism
Better email open rates as clients can easily identify your communications
Reduced chance of important emails being missed or marked as spam
Coming in 2025: Business Caller ID
Another valuable feature launching next year is Business Caller ID. When you call clients, your business name, logo, and department will appear on their iPhone’s incoming call screen. This feature could be particularly useful when:
Following up with potential clients
Making important ceremony planning calls
Conducting phone consultations
Reaching out to couples about time-sensitive matters
How to Get Started
Setting up your business on Apple Business Connect is straightforward and free. Here’s how to get started:
Visit the Apple Business Connect website
Sign in with your Apple ID (or create one if needed)
Register your business
Verify your business information
Add your logo and business details
Sign up for Branded Mail (available now for registration)
Required Materials:
Your ABN
Business logo (high-quality digital format)
Business contact information
Professional photos (optional but recommended)
Best Practices
To make the most of these new features:
Use a professional, high-quality logo in a square icon format
Ensure your business information is consistent across all platforms
Keep your contact details up to date
Consider adding professional photos of your ceremonies (with couple permission)
Include relevant categories and keywords in your business description
Privacy and Security
For celebrants concerned about privacy, it’s worth noting that Apple maintains strict privacy standards. Your business information is only displayed when you actively contact clients through registered channels, and you control what information is shared.
These new Apple features represent a significant opportunity for us to enhance our professional presence and improve client communications. By getting set up early, you’ll be ready to take advantage of these tools as they roll out, potentially giving you an edge in an increasingly competitive market.
### SA BDM unilaterally modifying the NOIM...
A few weeks ago, 9 October to be exact, one of our members alerted me to a change on the NOIMs produced by the South Australian BDM's online registration system. They had inserted a checkbox on page 5 that read "I confirm I met separately with each party before the marriage was solemnised to confirm they were entering into marriage voluntarily and freely."
At first glance, this might look like a good and useful thing to add to the NOIM. It would be useful for us to have to check a box somewhere confirming we had those new separate meetings that are required by the changes to the Marriage Act from June 2024. We even talked about it at the MLCS/Associations meeting back in May, and I imagine it will be up for discussion again at tomorrow's meeting.
The problem is that SA BDM went ahead and modified a legal form off their own bat, and that isn't allowed. Section 119 of the Marriage Act 1961 says:
(1) The Minister may, in writing, approve a form for the purpose of a provision of this Act or the regulations. If the Minister approves a form, that form must be used [emphasis added].
Anyone other than the Minister can't just go around changing legal forms prescribed under the Act because they feel like it. That's not how this works. If we start allowing things like this to pass by the keeper, who knows what else will start happening.
I may be unpopular for this, but I wrote to MLCS about this issue and finally got a response today (13 November):
Thank you so much for alerting us to the inclusion of a checkbox on the NOIM by the South Australian registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages. As you correctly note, the NOIM can be modified only by the Minister, or the Minister’s delegate.
We have reached out to the BDM registry in South Australian and are advised it will be removed.
It is our job and our obligation to have these separate meetings. We should not need to be reminded by a checkbox on a form. Yes, we hope that one day soon the forms will be modified and such a checkbox included, but until then we need to be the professionals that we are and remember to do it ourselves.
### Encrypting your couples' NOIMs and Marriage Certificates
As authorised marriage celebrants, we’re entrusted with some of the most sensitive details in our clients' lives. One of our colleagues - an Australian marriage celebrant - was recently hacked and the hackers gained access to their computer, the hard drive contents including all files and emails. We'll discuss email security in a future article, but today I want to make sure you are protecting your client's personal data.
Between the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) forms, marriage certificates, and witness names, vows, love stories, and speeches, we hold more than just paperwork—these are pieces of our clients' identities. This data is personal, valuable, and unfortunately, highly sought after by hackers - which is why I'd strongly encourage you to encrypt that data.
Encrypting your clients' information not only protects them from potential harm but also safeguards your reputation as a trusted professional.
Why Encrypting Client Data is Vital
The personal details within NOIMs and marriage certificates—including full names, birthdates, parental details, wedding dates, and the names of witnesses (often the couple’s closest friends or family)—are more than just facts. In the wrong hands, this information can be exploited in a variety of ways, affecting clients’ finances, privacy, and even personal security.
How could this affect our clients?
Identity Theft and Financial Fraud
Hackers can use full names, birth details, and parental information to impersonate clients, leading to identity theft or fraud. With access to this data, a hacker could:
Open accounts in the client’s name, or apply for credit cards and loans, leaving them with debts they didn't incur.
Access existing financial accounts by providing the stolen personal data as verification. Banks and other financial institutions often rely on birthdates, names, and parental details for identity confirmation.
Commit tax fraud by lodging fraudulent tax returns, signing them up for MyGov or other government services, leading to complications and financial repercussions for the client.
Social Engineering Attacks on Clients and Witnesses
Social engineering is a hacking tactic that manipulates people into giving away confidential information. With detailed knowledge of a client’s wedding, witnesses’ names, and other personal details, a hacker could:
Pose as a trusted celebrant or vendor to convince clients or witnesses to reveal even more personal information, like account details, or even to pay bogus "final invoices" for wedding services.
Target witnesses directly, pretending to be the couple or celebrant in need of urgent financial help, exploiting the trust and emotional connections linked to a recent wedding.
Gain access to online accounts by answering security questions based on public wedding details or parental names, allowing the hacker to reset passwords or gain further information.
Data Sold on the Dark Web
For many hackers, the ultimate goal is selling data to others on the dark web, where it can be used for a multitude of malicious purposes. If client details are left unprotected, a hacker could:
Sell the couple’s information to spammers or malicious actors, leading to endless spam, scams, and even attempts to sell fabricated “luxury services” or “honeymoon upgrades.”
Expose clients to location-based threats by revealing details of their wedding date and venue. This could be exploited by individuals looking to target empty homes during known travel dates.
Place both clients and witnesses at risk of stalking or harassment, especially if they’re public figures or have a strong online presence, by giving malicious actors a set of comprehensive personal details.
Using Cryptomator to Lock Up Your Clients' Data
Cryptomator provides an effective and simple way to keep client data safe from these kinds of threats. It's what I use, it's open source which means many eyes from the open source community keeps the code safe, and it's using industry standard cryptography.
By using encryption, you can create a secure vault - think of it like a fireproof-safe in your home but it's on your computer, where sensitive client files are stored and protected against unauthorised access.
Even if your device is stolen, hacked, or remotely accessed, encrypted files remain unreadable to anyone without the vault’s password.
Here’s Why Cryptomator is Perfect for Celebrants
Centralised and Encrypted Storage: All your client files—NOIMs, marriage certificates, and supporting documents—can be stored in a single, secure vault. Rather than scattering documents in various folders, you have one encrypted location that acts like a digital safe.
Prevents Remote and Local Access: Once encrypted in Cryptomator, files are locked down. Even if someone hacks into your computer, they won’t be able to access your client files without the vault password.
Works with Cloud Storage for Backup: Cryptomator integrates with cloud storage, meaning you can back up your client documents securely, knowing that even cloud-based breaches won’t compromise your data. I keep my vault on my Dropbox so I can access it anywhere.
For those not as familiar with tech, think of Cryptomator like a locked filing cabinet. While an open cabinet leaves all your client files exposed, a locked one keeps everything safe. Even if someone finds your filing cabinet (or your computer), they’d still need the key to open it.
Or, picture it as a safe deposit box in a bank. You store all your valuable information there, and even though people can see the box, they have no way to access it without the key you hold.
Getting Started with Cryptomator
Download Cryptomator: As a free and open-source tool, Cryptomator is readily available and has no hidden fees.
Set Up Your Vault: Create a vault for all your sensitive client documents—NOIMs, marriage certificates, witness information, and more.
Add Documents to the Vault: Drag and drop files into your new vault to encrypt them instantly. Once stored, they’re secure from prying eyes, accessible only to those with the passphrase. When I set mine up I dropped my entire archive of NOIMs and Marriage Certificates in there.
Taking a few minutes to encrypt client data not only protects your clients but also reinforces your commitment to professionalism.
By using Cryptomator to secure NOIMs, marriage certificates, and other key documents, you ensure that sensitive information is protected from theft, misuse, and exploitation, allowing you and your clients to focus on the joy of the wedding day with peace of mind.
How to use Cryptomator
To access your files in the vault you'll need to decrypt them, you do this by opening the Cryptomator app and unlocking it, entering your password, and you'll find a new virtual (not-physical) drive attached to your computer. Now you've got access to all the files inside the vault.
Once you're finished, open Cryptomator and lock the vault.
### AI webinars on productivity and search
The future of celebrancy isn't just about heart and soul—it's about working smarter, not harder. This month, we're thrilled to present two game-changing workshops that will transform how you harness AI in your celebrancy practice.
Josh/I'll be presenting the workshops and answering your questions and the oracle will be in attendance to bring civility and wisdom. All wedding professionals are invited, celebrants and all.
Workshop 1: Supercharging Your Business Productivity with AI
Watch webinar replay now.
Think of AI as your personal assistant with superpowers. Just as a forklift amplifies human capability, AI tools can dramatically boost your productivity, profitability, and—most importantly—the joy you bring to couples on their special day.
Learn practical ways to leverage AI for:
Streamlining administrative tasks
Enhancing ceremony editing and ideation using your personal writing powers
Creating more personalised client experiences
Increasing your efficiency without sacrificing quality or comprising on integrity
Get your tickets to watch now
Workshop 2: Being Found in the AI Era
Watch webinar replay now.
As couples increasingly turn to AI-powered search tools to find their perfect celebrant, ensuring your visibility is crucial. This workshop will equip you with strategies to:
Optimise your online presence for AI search tools
Stand out in AI-generated recommendations
Adapt your digital footprint for the evolving search landscape
Connect with couples who are using next-generation search methods
Get your tickets to watch now
Don't miss these opportunities to future-proof your celebrancy practice. These workshops aren't just about understanding AI—they're about embracing it as a powerful ally in creating even more meaningful wedding experiences.
Join us as we step confidently into the future of celebrancy, where technology enhances rather than replaces the human touch that makes our work so special.
### What to do when it's a tough financial season
Things are tough out there, financially and commercially speaking. Many of us are on the coal face, working hard, and not striking gold.
Starbucks is selling fewer coffees and Heineken is selling fewer beers, McDonalds is struggling, music festivals aren't financially viable, fun-boy-toys aren't selling as well as they used to, Country Road is moving less duffel bags, while Mimco, Trenery, Witchery and Politix are all selling less rags, meanwhile all of Australia's media companies are generally making less money - some 69% less - because they're selling less ads. Wall Street is down, down, and although BWS and Dan Murphy's sales are up, profits are way down.
JB Hifi suffered a 20% drop in earnings at the start of the year but they've made some changes to the way they run and they're back in black. Even Telstra - although they're still profitable - has copped a 13% drop in profits but they're rising prices regardless.
Doing some SEO research this week while I was relaxing in the Joshua Tree desert - yes, I relax weirdly - I found the number one organic result for a celebrant-related search term has their Google Calendar live-linked from their website, which is fine but weird, and for someone ranking number one on Google their booking calendar is empty. They have like 2 weddings over the summer. First on google, last in bookings.
It's a weird time to be in the wedding business.
So what am I doing? Here's my priority list for survival in this time, feel free to steal it, adapt it, make it better, make it yours.
Refining the Core Offer: Successful small businesses typically refine their core offerings to better align with market needs. Rather than spreading themselves thin, they concentrate on what they do best, ensuring the highest profitability from key services or products. I'm looking into packaging complementary services or products that can increase perceived value without significantly increasing costs, helping maximise revenue per transaction.
Cost Management and Efficiency: Tightening up on unnecessary expenditures (e.g., office space, non-critical software subscriptions, luxury purchases) can provide more breathing room for a difficult season. Investing in automation and AI, where possible, has helped me streamline operations and reduce reliance on manual labour, cutting costs while maintaining or improving output.
Diversifying Revenue Streams: Adding services that are low-cost but highly profitable can create new revenue streams. For instance, you could start offering digital content creation packages (photography, video, social media strategy), which can be sold alongside core services. Businesses can also thrive by expanding their digital presence. Whether through e-commerce, offering virtual consultations, or moving events and classes online, going digital can open new customer bases.
Strategic Marketing and SEO: Investing in smart, highly targeted marketing rather than blanket campaigns has historically provided a better return on investment. Focusing on ultra local SEO and niche audiences helps us reach the most relevant couples efficiently. Creating marketing campaigns that address immediate customer pain points in the current market while positioning services or products for the next season can keep a business top-of-mind without overspending.
Collaborations and Partnerships: Partnering with complementary small businesses for promotions or packages is a powerful strategy. For instance, a celebrant business might partner with local photographers, venues, and florists to create comprehensive wedding packages that offer a full solution to couples. Historical data shows that businesses that collaborate during slow periods often strengthen their networks, opening up new client bases and lowering customer acquisition costs.
Diversifying Client Segments: When the primary market segment shrinks, some businesses look for opportunities in adjacent or underserved markets. In the wedding industry, this could mean marketing to smaller, intimate ceremonies or elopements instead of large events during tough economic periods. In tough times, offering budget-friendly options without sacrificing quality helps maintain a customer base. This might involve scaled-down versions of services or product bundles aimed at cost-conscious consumers.
Preparing for Post-Recession Demand: History shows that businesses that prepare for a market rebound, whether by training, streamlining processes, or expanding offerings, are well-positioned to take advantage when demand returns.
Building a Flexible Business Model: A flexible business model that can pivot based on market needs has been a historical key to success. This could mean being ready to adjust pricing, adding remote services, or expanding into new markets.
Price Yourself Up: Take a cue from Telstra and don't discount yourself, but price yourself up - at least in line with inflation - so as the market turns you're in a better position. It might well be that you provide lower cost products or services, but don't reduce your value or your worth at the same time.
Small businesses that survive tough markets typically take proactive, thoughtful steps like these.
The businesses that do best don’t just wait for the market to recover—they actively position themselves for future profitability by focusing on efficiency, relationships, and customer-centricity.
Seth Godin writes in the Harvard Business Review this week:
A strategy, on the other hand, comes with the motto: “This might not work.” Strategy is a philosophy of becoming, a chance to create the conditions to enable the change we seek to make in the world.
Godspeed, friends.
### Shortage of celebrants in NSW???
Some of you (maybe one or two) may have heard Newcastle celebrant Kerryn Tippett on the ABC Newcastle Drive show on Monday 14 October (segment starts at 3 minutes and runs about 10 minutes). The ABC wanted to speak to a celebrant about a report released on Monday suggesting there's a shortage of civil celebrants in New South Wales. Kez rang me for a chat about it, and obviously I have thoughts. Here they are.
The report
Jobs and Skills Australia's Occupation Shortage List provides a point-in-time snapshot of which occupations in Australia have enough workers and which ones have shortages. The report is used to inform Federal Government labour marketing and training policy.
An occupation shortage is defined as one when employers are unable to fill or have considerable difficulty filling vacancies for an occupation or cannot meet significant specialised skill needs within that occupation, at current levels of remuneration and conditions of employment and in reasonably accessible locations.
The report is generated from:
data modelling
statistical analysis of the labour market (including review of job vacancy advertisements)
employer and stakeholder surveys
enagement with:
peak bodies
industry groups
professional associations
unions
education providers
regional representative bodies
Commonwealth government
state and territory governments
Jobs and Skills Councils.
For context, according to the report the occupation with the highest shortage in the country is aged care workers.
A shortage of celebrants?
For some completely unknown reason, the Occupation Shortage List shows a shortage in civil celebrants in New South Wales.
Occupation Shortage List showing a shortage in civil celebrants in New South Wales (screenshot from https://www.jobsandskills.gov.au/data/occupation-shortages-analysis/occupation-shortage-list)
Honestly, I'm completely baffled by this. As of today, 16 October 2024, the AGD's register of celebrants is showing there are 3245 civil celebrants registered in New South Wales. That's the most of any state or territory in the country.
According to the latest set of marriage statistics we have available, those for 2023, released in August 2024, 39,018 marriages were registered in New South Wales in 2023.
We know approximately 80% of all marriages are carried out by civil celebrants (including Registry Officers), so let's say 31,214 civil marriages.
We don't have the breakdown of how many are conducted by Subdivision C Civil Celebrants and how many by Subdivision B Registry Officers (they're all counted as civil ceremonies), but let's hazard a rough guess and say 10% are Registry Office weddings. That leaves 28,092 marriages to be conducted by civil celebrants.
Dividing those weddings by the number of registered celebrants, that's less than 9 weddings each!
How is that a shortage??? No one can pay their mortgage on 9 weddings a year!
But where exactly is the shortage?
If you listen to Kez on the radio, she makes the excellent point that we'd probably need to drill down a bit to find out WHERE in New South Wales this apparent shortage is. In Sydney or Newcastle you'd probably pass a celebrant in the street wherever you were walking. Perhaps the shortage is in regional or rural New South Wales.
Where did this shortage data come from?
Given there are no job vacancies for celebrants, where on earth did the shortage data come from? Who reported that these shortages exist? Feeling incensed about the entire situation, I wrote to Jobs and Skills Australia to ask.
Hi there
I'm hoping to talk to someone about where the data came from that caused a shortage rating for celebrancy in NSW in today's Occupation Shortage List.
I'm a full-time celebrant of almost 11 years' experience and I own and run The Celebrant Institute RTO, teaching the next generation of celebrants through our Cert IV in Celebrancy program.
We have absolutely no indication that there is anything like a shortage in celebrants anywhere in the country, least of all NSW; if anything there are too many celebrants to cover the number of weddings conducted per year.
The report and information on your website seems to suggest the information is gathered from job vacancy listings and feedback from industry bodies; we are all sole traders and there are no job vacancy listings, and as far as I'm aware no celebrant industry bodies were surveyed for this report.
I would really like to speak to someone to better understand where your data has come from
Many thanks
Sarah
To give them credit, they came back to me in less than 24 hours, although the information provided was, to put it politely, sparse. Here it is (emphasis added):
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your email.
For your background, please note that the sources used to assess occupation shortages are diverse. These include data modelling; additional statistical analysis of labour market data, and employer and stakeholder surveys; and engagements with various stakeholder groups. Feedback is also sought from the Commonwealth Government, state and territory governments, as well as Jobs andSkills Councils.
The occupation rating for New South Wales (NSW) was based on feedback received from NSW government agencies. At the time, we considered the feedback to be of sufficient quality/standard to accept and incorporate into our assessments for occupations. Feedback such as that provided by you is valuable and helps to make a more balanced assessment of the available evidence.
With the above, we welcome you to contribute to the annual stakeholder survey which will open to the public between November and close in February the following year. The survey primarily targets peak bodies, industry groups, professional associations, unions, regional representative bodies, and education and training advisory bodies. However, government agencies, recruitment agencies/labour hire firms, employers and Jobs and Skills Councils are welcome to complete the survey.
If you would like to participate, please let us know, and we will add you to the mailing list. We also welcome you raising awareness of the survey with the industry bodies and other organisations that you are in close contact with.
Kind regards,
Workforce Analysis team
Labour Market Research & Analysis Branch
Jobs and Skills Australia
Naturally I have asked to be added to the mailing list for future stakeholder surveys.
So I'm not really any further along with the mystery than I was on Monday afternoon. The information came from the NSW Government, and JSA decided it was of sufficient quality to inform the rating. I didn't bother asking them which department in the NSW Government the data came from; I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have given it to me.
I'm curious as to whether anyone out there has anymore information on this; fill us all in and let us know!
### Where I stand during the ceremony, Josh's point of view
Let’s talk about why I, as a celebrant, stand in the middle of the ceremony, right between the couple, instead of off to the side.
The short answer? Our senses demand it.
We don’t experience weddings purely through words—we experience them through sight, sound, feel, taste, and smell. And believe me, all five senses deserve a front-row seat at your wedding ceremony, and that’s why I stand right in the middle.
Sight: The Visual Story
When you look back at your wedding photos and videos, you’re looking for a narrative, a visual flow. It's the same thing as guests experience the ceremony.
I just imagine seeing two people standing across from each other in the middle of a ceremony, declaring their love, with me standing off to the side like an awkward third wheel. It throws off the visual symmetry.
Instead, standing in the middle keeps me as part of the story, but not in a way that distracts—it’s balanced. Just like your love story.
Sound: The Perfect Acoustics
Our ears crave balance. That’s why concert venues and churches put speakers evenly spaced at the front, often on either side, because our ears are wired for that perfect stereo experience. Similarly, the ceremony needs that balance. With me in the middle, I can direct my voice equally to both of you, acoustically and with a PA system, making sure that the words that legally bind you reach both hearts equally.
It's the same reason we place a PA system where everyone can hear it clearly—not too far to one side, not too close to another. It's why I prefer to have left and right speakers for a ceremony.
Feel: The Emotional Connection
The emotional center of a ceremony is the two of you. My job is to guide you through that journey of emotions—laughter, tears, the whole rollercoaster—and being right there in the middle allows me to be the calm anchor. When I’m in the middle, I’m not just connecting the two of you with words, but with presence, energy, and intention. I see the ceremony as something the three of us are creating together, not a thing I'm delivering to a couple and their guests.
Smell and Taste: The Atmosphere
Okay, maybe you’re not tasting or smelling anything unusual during the ceremony (unless we’re standing near an amazing garden or the sea breeze is wafting in), but even these senses pick up on the atmosphere. And believe me, when the celebrant is centered, the whole ceremony feels more connected, more cohesive. I’m not some sideline commentator; I’m right there with you, ensuring the flow of the ceremony is felt on every level.
In the same way that every sense is engaged during your wedding, every detail I plan out for a ceremony is intentional.
From where we place the PA system to how I position myself between the couples—it’s all about balance, connection, and making sure your ceremony is a true reflection of the love and life they're building together.
When the couple exchange vows I offer up my handheld microphone and will move out of frame for the moment, and once we've exchanged vows and rings I subtly start moving away from the ceremony and will pronounce them married from the side of the ceremony.
### Podcast: They just decided to extend that to all weddings
Welcome to the Celebrant Talk Show! I'm Sarah Aird, and in this episode, Josh Withers and I catch up after a four-month break to discuss some big changes in marriage law, including the introduction of remote witnessing for the NOIM and the new requirement for separate meetings with each party to confirm consent.
We talk through how these changes are affecting celebrants, especially the overreactions we've seen in Facebook groups, and offer practical advice on keeping things simple. I also share how I’m managing these changes without making a big deal out of it.
Plus, we dive into some celebrant pricing strategies, how to assess consent safely, and Josh’s funny rant about why he avoids celebrant Facebook groups!
We really want to hear from you with anything you want us to talk about, or anything you might disagree with! Hit us up at hello@celebrant.fm
Scan QR code to listen in Apple Podcasts
Celebrant Talk Show Podcast Transcript
Josh: [00:00:00] Friends and family, welcome to Australia's most well barbered podcast for marriage celebrants. I can pretty much all say no other celebrant podcast has been to the barber inside the last hour and a half, but this one has this is the celebrant talk show. My name is Josh Withers and I'm joined by the other 51 percent of this podcast, Sarah Aird.
Sarah, have you been to the barber in the last 90 minutes?
Sarah: No.
Josh: You're really letting the rest of the podcast down.
Sarah: yeah, I, yep. Nope. Okay. Every time it's something different,
Josh: that's the thing. That's the goal.
Sarah: that was the thing. Yeah. It's good. So we have not done a recording for, it's been like nearly four months. In fact, it'll be four months tomorrow. We did the last episode we did was on the 12th of June. And that was the day that the new laws came into being.
So that's why we
Josh: It's been a ride.
Sarah: And [00:01:00] today we're doing a bit of a follow up on that really.
Josh: can I can I speak into that? I like podcasting without anything with anyone. I just love a good chinwag. Put that on my tombstone. It's been a busy time. I've been in Europe. I've been in. Other places that I can't remember. And but I like podcasting with you, Sarah. Sometimes Sarah and I won't podcast because we've got nothing to say, which I think is a valid reason for not podcasting.
However, if there are topics, things, questions and answers so there's, this is different to Celebrate Institute ask a question about marriage law, but those things you'd like Sarah and I to weigh in on, jump into our inbox and that will certainly peer pressure us into podcast recording.
Sarah: It totally will. I was actually thinking about that the other day, cause when we first started the podcast back in 2017, maybe.
Josh: years ago?
Sarah: It was pre our Celebrant Institute membership platform, and people used to write into [00:02:00] us with their questions that we would then talk about on the podcast. And we don't really do that anymore because now we have the membership platform.
So people write to us, they email us with their questions, having paid us 12 bucks a month to answer them. And then we answer them by email. So it would be cool though, if people wanted to ask
Josh: Maybe it's a topic or subject matter that is a little bit more than a, Celebrity Institute kind of email.
Sarah: that an email,
Josh: Sarah can you spend the next hour talking to us about the contrasts in things? I don't know.
Sarah: You really thought that through, didn't you? Does our
Josh: Yeah, it all goes to the same place. Hello at sullibrant. fm should get to us.
Sarah: Yeah. That you'd like us to talk about.
Josh: Sarah been a, it's been a weird world in that there's been a few little lawful changes happening this year. I am fairly inoculated from a lot of the chit chat around it. Because I am allergic to wedding industry, Facebook groups. If you do see me in one, know that's [00:03:00] me trying to get back on the train and expect me to leave soon.
Sarah: I know you joined one like two weeks ago, are you
Josh: Yeah. But I've also, I've turned off notifications. Like I don't really see anything.
Sarah: Every now and again, I'll get a screenshot from Josh going, look, I just joined this group. And I'll be like, yeah, in 48 hours, tell me if you're still there. He's
Josh: horrible. They're the worst, just the worst thing.
Sarah: Look, they are pretty horrible, but I am in a lot of celebrant related Facebook groups and look, industry related Facebook groups because I because it's a way for me to keep my finger on the pulse of what is going on, what people are struggling with and that all helps me to inform my training and my professional development.
Opportunities and things like that. So that's why I stay. But it's okay that Josh doesn't. So the reason we're talking about Facebook groups is [00:04:00] because since the law changed on what the 11th, 12th of June to bring in particular remote witnessing of norms and also the separate meetings about consent, there has been a lot of chatter in the Facebook groups that I'm a member of about two things.
The first one being about the meet, the separate meetings and what that actually means. And honestly, I have seen a lot of people who have been way overreacting and overthinking these separate meetings. So I just want to go right back to basics. All the Marriage Act now says is that before the marriage takes place, the celebrant must meet separately with each of the parties. Full stop. That's it. It doesn't actually say in the act to confirm they are consenting.
Josh: just catch up
Sarah: It doesn't
Josh: share, we could just share a KitKat.
Sarah: Because this is one of the issues of legislation is that it often [00:05:00] tells us that we have to do something, but it doesn't tell us why we have to do it. So it's not until you go back and look at the, explanatory memorandum from when that legislation was created, that you find out what the intent behind it was in the first place.
This is something that I've been grappling with recently because for an example, the Certificate IV qualification, one of the many knowledge requirement elements is, the purpose of celebrants giving the happily ever before and after brochure to our couples. And I was like who knows what the purpose is?
It doesn't say. in the Act, it just says that we have to give it. I now know what the purpose is because I found it. It's in an explanatory memorandum from 1975 when that requirement was introduced and the purpose was to try and bring down the divorce rate. But that is my issue with this whole separate meetings thing is that it doesn't [00:06:00] tell us why we have to do it or what we have to do or what should be, how those separate meetings should be managed or anything like that.
So that really means that as long as you meet with your people separately, you can do whatever you like. now we, of the Attorney General's Department in putting this requirement in was for us to be able to ensure consent, particularly in a circumstance where we are remote witnessing the NOIM and we don't know who else is in the room off camera, essentially, when we're watching somebody sign the NOIM.
That was the original purpose of it. And they just decided to extend that to all weddings. So that's the intention. But let's just remember what the Act says. Meet with each of the parties separately. The way I'm seeing a lot of people really freaking out about this. I've seen people talking about, I've emailed all my couples with a lengthy description [00:07:00] of the fact that we now have to have separate meetings and I've explained that to them all and I'm putting them in my calendar and I've even seen somebody produce a document that you can have your couple sign to say that they are consenting to the marriage.
I don't know, I think the Notice of Intended Marriage is them. signing to say they consent to the marriage, but okay. And the
Josh: and the marriage
Sarah: like that's the documents. South Australia BDM has even changed the norm. I don't even know if they're allowed to do that. And I've written to MLCS about it, but if you use the South Australia online registration system, The norm that it creates has added a tick box that says, I confirm I met separately with each party before the marriage was solemnized to confirm they were entering into
Josh: you remember when Queensland BDM went online? And because they're, I don't know if you remember or know this, but the Queensland NOIMs look a lot of basically different. Just, [00:08:00] yeah but, And yeah,
Sarah: yeah, because they
Josh: the same
Sarah: they made it themselves.
Josh: it's just not the same format, not the same font.
And the feedback we received at that point was that it was fine because the annoying, I think do you remember, did they say it was a working document? Was that the wording?
Sarah: No, I think the reason was that the NOIM is not in the Marriage Act. The contents of the NOIM is not in the Marriage Act. So it doesn't actually say anywhere that this is the information you have to, whereas, for example, the contents of the Form 15 is in the Marriage Act. So that cannot be changed.
But anyway, I don't know if it's legal for the South Australia BDM to just unilaterally add things to the NOIM or not. I'm not sure if that's, Cause that's a different matter from it looking different from the formatting being different, that's different. They're just adding things. I've seen a lot, basically a lot of freaking out about this.
And I personally would like to talk you through how I [00:09:00] am managing this requirement and that it is not a freaking out ness of mine.
Josh: So are you freaking out about this or are you not freaking out about this, Sarah?
Sarah: the way I'm dealing with this. I'm not freaking out about it at all. So the way I'm dealing with this, I'm not doing anything with my current couples.
like ahead of time. What I'm doing is I'm telling them we have to sign the Don Lim separately. The Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage. So if it's a new couple, when I'm talking through all the paperwork and everything that we're going to sign before the marriage, I say, one of the documents is the declaration.
This is what it says. We have to do it before the marriage ceremony and we have to sign it separately. So I'm just going to take you away, like 10 steps away from each other. Have a little chat. And so a couple, my couples who are already signed up, I'm just like on the day. I'm just going, so we need to sign.
We take them. I take them literally 10 steps away because there's no [00:10:00] requirement that it's in a different room or that it's on a different day or anything like that. It's just separately. So they need to not be able to hear the conversation and that's fine. And we go through the Don Lim like I always do.
This form says you're not married to someone else. You're not siblings or parent and child. You're over 18. And are you happy to sign that? Yes. And are you happy to get married today? That's it. That's all I'm doing. Now, if they say to me, if I say to them, are you happy to get married today? And they say, no.
Okay, far that hasn't happened. It's not, I don't think it's going to, but that's not the point. I've ticked off my requirement to do the separate meeting and it hasn't been a big, massive drama. It's just, are you happy to get married today? Separately away from the other party. And that's it. Yes, I am. So that's the first thing I wanted to talk about and I'm, we're on zoom so I [00:11:00] can see Josh is getting ready to say something
Josh: No, it's a a constant thread, something that you and I probably we want to outrightly address this, but I think we address it almost weekly with a question from a celebrant institute member. And it's something we've, this has been a theme of conversation for the last 10 years. But before you marry people.
as a Commonwealth Authorised Marriage Celebrant in Australia, you say the words, or words to this effect, I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to the law. And that's not just true in the middle of the marriage journey, that's true in life, because you're a Commonwealth Authorised Marriage Celebrant, if you are a celebrant, listen to this.
And so the reason I highlight that is to convey that there is an authority that you have been given, you can. You can just believe someone is consenting If you believe it to be true in the same way that when someone takes male or female or sorry X
Sarah: non binary.
Josh: No, I'm sorry. [00:12:00] Yeah, it was X for a second and then yeah and there's the sense of authority that I feel many celebrants don't know they have And then you might come back to me and say, Oh, but what if they're lying?
If they're lying. And that's fraudulent. So we have protections for these things. And so if someone isn't consenting and you look at them and think they are, and they say they are, but they're not, there's only so many seashells you can save by throwing them back into the ocean.
And so people try to flesh out or buff up their authority Bye. Making paperwork and things and getting on bloody Facebook groups. And the thing is, you are a com authorized marriage settlement, authorized to marry people according to law. there's this authority. I just want everyone to grab ahold of and know that they have, that you don't need to make more of it.
Sarah: Yeah. And I think that's actually, it's a good reminder that so I'm going to talk about consent again in a minute, but in terms of this, I [00:13:00] have met with them separately and I have said, I've looked them in the eyes. I have done a kind of review of their body language and their voice and their facial expression.
And I've said to them, are you happy to get married today? And they have told me, yes, I'm done. That is my requirement and obligation. And we'll talk more about consent in a minute and how you look at that in a minute, but that is as far as it goes. There's no requirement for forms and tick boxes.
Not yet. We're looking at tick boxes on the forms, but there's no requirement for lengthy forms and lots of questions and digging in and, separate meetings at different times of day and different venues. And that's just not a requirement. And so I think some of us have a tendency to really overthink it and to really go way beyond what is our requirement and our obligation.
It's the same as, people come to me and they say, how do I know they've never [00:14:00] really been married before? You don't, but they've told you that they're signing the documents that say they've never been married before. Those documents are legal documents and there are penalties attached for making false statements on them.
You've done what you can, you've asked them, you've got them to sign the form, that's all you can do. So it's the same kind of thing with this. Don't overthink it. Don't make it bigger than it has to be. So that's my, the first thing that people are freaking out about. Which is about making these separate meetings bigger than Ben The second thing that people are freaking out about is what if they say no? What if the person says that they're not consenting? What if the person says that they're not happy? What do I do? Is it's not going to be safe for me. It's not going to be safe for them. Blah, blah, blah. It's always been our job, always, before the separate meetings came in, it has always been our job to assess consent. if [00:15:00] we think there is a problem, to refuse to solemnise the marriage. That is not new. That bit is the same. It's always been there. I'm hearing a lot of, but what if they say no? Then you would do the same thing you always would do if they said no, because that is our requirement. I'm seeing, There's a seller in one of the groups who is doing some really great work on.
Writing up kind of professional development tips about consent. And some of what he's writing is going a bit too far, I think, in terms of our obligations. And I did talk to him about this. I did challenge him and we've, we came to something that we thought was better. So for example if on the day you get the idea that somebody isn't consenting, then you should, Make sure that you and the person are safe and then you should go and tell the other party that the marriage isn't going ahead. I don't know if that's our job. [00:16:00] It's, I think it's my job to support the person who is not consenting and it is my job to, if I need to, get them out of there because they might not be safe. But it's not necessarily it's not every time going to be our job. To tell the other party and the venue and the guests that the marriage is not going ahead.
So I think that anyway. That's beside the point. The biggest point is this freak out about what do we do if they say no, because this is not safe, blah, blah, blah. Again, that hasn't changed. That requirement has always been there that if we have any concerns about consent, we refuse to solemnize the marriage.
And we have always been required to be assessing consent from the moment we first meet them right up to. Before they say the legal vows, we need to be assessing consent at every [00:17:00] touch point that we have, whether it's meetings, rehearsals, when we meet to sign paperwork. When they get out of the car, when we, even when they're walking down the aisle, they can withdraw consent at any time. Just as with all forms of consent. You can withdraw them at any time. Even if you said yes half an hour ago, you can change your mind. You are allowed to do that. That's a thing. So that has not
Josh: There's this issue of safety there, which is really important though as well. But as a celebrant and I'm aware I'm a 42 year old male, white male celebrant. My safety levels are going to be different than other people's just cause they all are different people or different whatever's. But you should always be like, gosh, some of the stories I hear from female wedding professionals at weddings.
Just from handsy people, etc. Like it's you always need to be considering safety. And just beware. And maybe it's like whether there's a safe person there. [00:18:00] Maybe it's whether you've got a partner with you or something like that. Or just simply calling Chablot. If you're not, if you're not feeling safe.
That's why we have Chablot. If you legitimately don't feel safe, that's why. And sometimes it might be about just simply removing yourself from the venue, just walking out and you're allowed to, because if it's an issue of safety like no judge in the country is going to, I don't know, tear you apart as a celebrant because you walked out cause you didn't feel safe.
Sarah: Absolutely. A thousand percent. And also. Encouraging maybe a person who is not giving consent,
Josh: Yeah.
Sarah: encouraging them to maybe come with you if they are not feeling safe, the hope is that if there were any consent issues, you would get to them well before the marriage day. That is the hope that we would not be dealing with this.
in the moment on the day. But things do happen. I and not just about consent because, oh, it's a forced marriage or whatever, but consent because of [00:19:00] intoxication. They can't give consent if they're intoxicated. I had a mentor in fact, he was the reason I became a celebrant because I saw him at a wedding and he was so good.
He turned up to a wedding. Groom was absolutely off his face. He got the bride and the bride's mother. To sign a declaration, like he just wrote it on a bit of paper saying I, celebrate name and not performing the wedding at this time because the groom is intoxicated and cannot give consent. And he got the bride and her mother both to sign that as well, that they were aware of it.
They were totally with him because they were pissed with the groom. And so that protected him. He was a big dude. Again, older white male. So had a level of safety anyway, but he got that signed for himself for legal safety too. And so those things happen. It's not just about, Oh, this person's being forced.
It's, it can be about this [00:20:00] person's too drunk. And was in theory a lot, but I think people are starting to freak out a little bit more now because of these separate meetings about what happens if it actually happens in practice. And I would say, we've been talking about consent the last, this year's OPD is about consent, OPD two years ago was about consent, we talk about consent a lot, because it's not new, that requirement is not new and I don't think that the number of times, that a wedding has to be stopped due to a lack of consent is actually going to go up just because of these separate meetings because I don't believe these separate meetings are going to make any difference at all.
Personally, I've talked about that on the Celebrant Institute blog quite a lot and we talked about it in the Celebrant Institute submission to the Senate inquiry on this bill. If somebody's not consenting and they're going to be prepared to tell you as a celebrant, they're going to tell you anyway whether or not you have a separate meeting with them.
[00:21:00] I don't think the separate meeting is going to make any difference to that at all. But, okay, sure. I don't think that this is going to make the, I don't think people are suddenly going to start saying, no, I'm not consenting more often just because you're meeting separately with them. I would really encourage you to not freak out.
Don't freak out about the separate meetings and what they mean. Don't freak out about consent. Consent has always been a requirement. It's just the same. It's not going to get any worse or any better or any different. The requirement is still there. So there is quite a lot in the guidelines about consent and I really do encourage you to go back and read that stuff it because it is useful.
There's a lot in this year's OPD about consent is really great in terms of consent when under guardianship orders and those sorts of things. I think that's right. Yeah, that's this year. I can't remember I did it so long ago and it all melds into one. But I'm pretty sure that's this year.
So there is lots of great [00:22:00] information. I have also seen a lot of celebrants saying, if you're going to make us do these separate meetings to check consent, why aren't you teaching us about consent? They are! teaching us about consent. A, it's in the guidelines. B, it's OPD. I don't know how they can teach us anymore.
Honestly, it's quite yep. So they are teaching us about consent. But if you have any concerns about your ability to assess consent, I'm really happy to have a chat with you. About, about the things that I look for. The AGD, when the separate meetings requirement came out, they issued of guidance.
They emailed it to everybody. And that has some things that you can look for when assessing consent. So go back and review the stuff in the guidelines about consent. It's 2024 and people are talking about consent in terms of sex a lot right now. It's the same thing.
Josh: It's the same mechanic.
Sarah: Okay. [00:23:00] That's right. It's this, you might be looking for the same things, people not making eye contact, people not wanting to talk those sorts. It's the same kinds of things that you might be looking for.
Go and do some reading on consent in general. Just Google. What should I look for when assessing consent? Who knows what you'll find, but I'm very happy to have a chat to you. If you do have concerns about how to assess consent, or if you have concerns about a specific couple, we're always happy to answer those kinds of questions at the Sullivan Institute.
We we've. I've certainly had experiences in my own practice of dealing with couples where I wasn't entirely satisfied about consent and I've got, all sorts of ideas and thoughts about what I've done in those situations.
Josh: I've been a celebrant for 15 and a half years and then we've just dug a little bit and it's [00:24:00] been okay, but I've inquired about it but like just nothing really that interesting, like no, no deep interesting stories of legals only between a guy who seemed to be a very unlikely partner for his, Thai partner and so I just very deeply took them through the notice of intent and what it meant and as if, if you can imagine someone doing a half hour TED talk on annoying, that was me.
They all signed it. then he calls like a week later, he goes, man, I just can't, I can't believe it. She was using me for a visa. I'm like, I did not see that coming. I am surprised as well. There's that. And then I've had, someone who was probably displaying intoxication and I. said this is raising some concerns for me.
It turns out we're just playing it up for the girls. yeah, so I think they're the two moments that I've really had to delve into this in my whole career. I'm obviously aware, I do the training, I read, when we do the [00:25:00] celebratory shit we talk about every day, I'm aware of looking for consent and it's something on my mind, but at the end of the day, that's as deep as I've gone.
Have you ceased the activity of solemnizing someone's marriage?
Sarah: I haven't, but I know someone who has, and they have given me permission in the past to talk about the situation in general terms. And I think we've even talked about it on the podcast. It's many years ago now, but the the bride was of an international background and had lots of people flying from their home country to attend the wedding.
But told my celebrant friend that they did not want to get married. Because they had found out something about their partner and and they weren't happy and they really didn't want to get married, but they didn't feel that they could cancel the wedding because of the shame it would bring to their family.
And because of all these people who had spent lots of money and were flying in. And so [00:26:00] my friend did the absolute correct thing and said, I'm not going to marry you. I would recommend that you go, we can do a commitment ceremony on the day. That's totally fine. I would recommend that you go away and get some counseling.
Come back in six months and I'll marry you then. And the groom found out about these discussions and said that's ridiculous. It's going ahead. And we believe coerced the bride into changing her story and saying that, yes, she was happy to go ahead. And they found another celebrant to marry them. And of course, the first celebrant can't tell the second celebrant why they're not going to marry them because the code of practice requires us to maintain privacy and confidentiality. And that's a problem. A problem that I did actually raise with the AGD last time we were there. The second celebrant went ahead and married them.
Who knows what happened. But, in my view, the first celebrant was absolutely spot on. [00:27:00] That They refused to marry them because the bride had outright said to her I do not want to get married but I feel
Josh: We should remind the guys in the
Sarah: So they won't consent in
Josh: thing. I feel every couple of weeks or months, it's like, Hey, do you guys get a phone call from John Smith and, Melissa Brown? And the other thing, I don't marry them.
Sarah: Don't marry them. Yeah. I've had a few where I've had to think about it. So I had one many years ago. it was a mutual friend of somebody that I knew, was the bride and at the first meeting with the couple, he sat sideways in his chair as if he was getting ready to make an escape.
He barely spoke to me. He barely looked at me. He grunted a lot. And I couldn't get any sort of excitement or interest or. engagement out of him at all whatsoever. They were having a big party and they wanted to do a legal signing the week [00:28:00] before because he didn't want to be there. So I don't mind. And I was really concerned.
I rang her at work the next day and said, look, mate, I'm right now. I'm not prepared to marry you because I don't think he's consenting. And she's no, he's just, he's pretty grumpy and he's just like that. And I'm like I'm going to have to call him. And have a chat to him, like separately, because this doesn't feel right to me.
So I did call him and he said enough of the right things, he said enough of I love her and I want to marry her and I want to be with her and blah blah blah. that I agreed to marry them. It was fucking awful. It was three weeks after marriage equality came in. It was just after Christmas in 2017.
They both sat on the couch and he had a beer in his hand the whole time. He wasn't drunk. It was early in the morning. It was like 11 o'clock. And when I got to, Australia is the union of two people, he went, man and woman in this house.[00:29:00]
Josh: Oh God.
Sarah: great. It was just, it was awful. I got out of there just going, I feel like I need to have a shower.
It was really gross, but he gave enough. He made the right noises that I couldn't refuse
Josh: Made the right grunts.
Sarah: made, he said enough of the right stuff that I couldn't, there was nothing for me to refuse them on. Basically, and they're still married today. And they've got kids and the whole lot. Another one was where I had a groom who fairly clearly had a mild cognitive impairment. He'd managed to get to our meeting on the train And find where to come, you know without too much explanation and when I asked him Why he wanted to get married he could tell me that she was gonna Look after him forever and that he really liked it when she cooked him dinner and they were gonna live together and it was really nice And that was enough.
Because if you look at the guidelines, it talks about people with a disability, and it talks about people with a cognitive disability [00:30:00] not needing to have a deep understanding of the nature and effect of marriage, but that a surface understanding is enough. So he said enough that I was happy to marry them. And then I had one who was in his late 90s. She was 83. They'd been together for 15 years. They were getting married because his family was not. in agreement with their relationship. Isn't that cute? At 83 and 90 something. So it's not like they're 15.
Josh: Poor guys.
Sarah: And he was getting worried about what would happen to her when he died.
In terms of, access to their assets and so forth. So they got married, but because he was so old. He was in his late nineties. I was pretty careful and I asked him a lot of questions and he could tell me where they met, when they met. He could tell me all the details of his previous two marriages.
He could tell me, he knew. Plenty of details, all the things. He was very excited about getting married. He knew why they were getting [00:31:00] married. Like he could explain all those things to me. and I came home and I made final notes after those discussions. And I was very happy to marry, delighted, in fact, to marry him.
They were lovely. So yeah, they're the kind of situations that I've had where I've just had to ask some more questions. and make sure that this was okay. And I've done 550 weddings and I've had less than five issues where I've been particularly concerned about consent. And everyone else has been I think we also have to remember that when we're talking about consent and we're talking about what we're using to assess it.
We also need to remember cultural differences in the way people express excitement and emotion and also we need to think about arranged marriages. A reminder that arranged marriages are not forced marriages. Forced marriage is where one or both parties are not consenting. They're being forced to marry [00:32:00] by an external party.
An arranged marriage is where both parties are consenting, even though the relationship has been arranged by an external party. I've done lots of arranged marriages because I work a lot with the Indian community. And I have done marriages where they have barely looked at each other. They, there's been no holding hands, there's been no kissing and that's fine.
But they could both also tell me enough about the other person and about why they wanted to get married, that they could tell me they were consenting. So just because they weren't showing affection or emotion or excitement in what we might call like a typical Western way, didn't mean they weren't consenting.
That just meant that they have a different relationship style to what we might be used to. We do need to remember those cultural differences as well. All of my Indian couples, they never kiss because it's not appropriate for them to kiss in front of their parents. So that doesn't mean [00:33:00] that they're not consenting or they don't want to get married.
It just means that there are cultural differences in the way
Josh: can I just remind,
Sarah: that's okay.
Josh: everyone if you open the Marriage Act of 1961, I've got the latest one as a PDF, And if you just open up your old search field on the PDF, And do a search for the word love, no results found, Kiss, no results found there's no rings, nope nothing up, these things are lovely things for certain people in certain cultures and what not but they're not required by law.
Sarah: Also, hang on before you go on, cohabitation is not in
Josh: Hang on let's do a search for sex,
Sarah: is not in there. None of those. Also not in there because none of those things are required for
Josh: like the kind of article I want to share with you, maybe, I feel like I read it a year or three ago, where and now that I'm saying it, maybe it was a Malcolm Gladwell thing, but regardless of where it came from, there's the act of smiling, like the what everyone listening would consider the plain old Western smile, looking at [00:34:00] someone and smiling.
There's, I think there's a South American tribe. I think the research went to that's an act of aggression. Yeah, and so you can be, one person can read a smile and say happy, and the other person can be like, ah, he's angry. You can't portray your cultural expectations of marriage and love and relationship, et cetera, onto other people.
You just can't. What you can do is look for consent, and if you're not sure, you can dig a little bit deeper. And worst case scenario, not worst case, but in such a case scenario, you can, Refuse solonization and you can if you feel unsafe, you can leave, but, and then that's your butt covered, but it isn't something that they have to cater to.
Yeah.
Sarah: So that's our little rant about consent and about the separate meetings. I hope that some of you maybe have got something out of it, although we may be preaching to the converted. If you completely disagree with what we've said, we want to hear about it. Cause we love to be challenged.
So [00:35:00] tell us hello at celebrant. fm and tell us if you've got a different thought or if you've got a different way of
Josh: something that I've always thought about in regards to consent, I guess this kind of client where this could present as an issue. If you don't want to deal with this kind of thing, one of the easy things you can do is to charge more, which we call this a Segway in the business, Sarah, it's actually something I've had in my mind because For those that haven't been following along, I relocated to Hobart earlier this year.
Actually, we're in the Huon Valley to be precise. But in Tasmania, the birth center marriages doesn't have a registry kind of marriage office, a place we can get married by the government. Here you have to get married by A celebrant or a minister of religion. And so the paperwork only stuff is a bit more of a business here than it is in other places.
Obviously, you're not going to build a whole business off of it. But yeah there's more paperwork owners getting around than I did on the Gold Coast, for example. I want to look to the [00:36:00] marketplace. I thought I'm going to charge the most out of everyone just because it's, that's an easy way to get out of that conversation often if there's issues around consent or whatever.
They're looking for the cheapest person. And I just didn't want to be that. But continuing the segue an article that I wrote last month has been getting some some good feedback and I just wanted, I thought it'd be a nice conversation for the Celebrant talk show. I was asked by Polkadot Weddings to talk about price.
Everyone knows that's my favorite conversation to have. I love talking about price. And they asked a bunch of questions and I just wrote, I what I wrote back to them, I put up as a blog for the Celebrant Institute members because I thought it was actually a helpful conversation to help people talk about price.
Because, Sarah, if we know anything about celebrants don't like talking about price. Or fees, or money, or anything. And I thought what I'd do, I'd just quickly run some of the questions past you, [00:37:00] and see how you reply, and then see how I reply, okay? Sound good? What factors should couples consider when setting celebrant budget?
Sarah: Oh, they should definitely not consider a lot of the budget tools they find online because they're designed in America, where mostly people are married by religious ministers and charge like 200. So they shouldn't look at that. What should they look at? It's hard because it's always hard when you're starting out but they should, they should just do some research
Josh: Yeah, every
Sarah: see what people are charging.
Josh: some might do it as a hobby, some might do it as like a side gig, it's just kinda, we do a couple of weddings a year so we can go on a holiday, that's how I started, when we first did the first wedding expo, Britt and I said, If we charge 5. 50 a wedding and we get 10 weddings a year, that's just a nice little holiday.
It's like a, five and a half grand is lovely. It's a lovely little [00:38:00] holiday. Obviously things changed pretty quickly after that, but you certainly can't expect all celebrants to charge the same just because, as a daily messenger found out it's illegal to price fix. So yeah, so we're not all charging the same and it's okay for everyone to charge different.
Sarah: don't do that.
Josh: All right, new question. how much of their total wedding budget should couples typically allocate to a celebrant?
Sarah: Wow, that's a question.
Josh: Oh,
Sarah: I'm gonna say
Josh: bit more nuanced just because much of the wedding budget scales according to guest numbers because it's like a per head, like caterings per head, that kind of thing, seating, drinks.
Sarah: That's fair. Yeah.
Josh: larger the venue, that kind of thing doesn't really affect celebrant but it does affect other prices.
So I don't think a percentage really works instead. As we found in [00:39:00] the survey, was that earlier this year, the celebrant prize survey, and the average nationally was about a thousand, was it a thousand and twenty, I think a thousand and fifty.
And that's a national average. I know different areas charge different
Yeah. But I would say today, for a full time professional celebrant there are celebrants in Sydney, which is arguably one of the more expensive places, Sydney and Melbourne, that are charging 2, 500 for like just the ceremony.
And there's celebrities that are charging close to a thousand I know one guy in Brisbane, who's doing great work and charging 5, 000. That's his, if you want him at a Saturday wedding. Now there's more in that, but also he's welcome to charge me once. So anything from 1000 to 25 to 5, 000.
Sarah: I know celebrants in regional areas who are still charging five or six hundred dollars as well. Because that's what the market in those areas will pay.
Josh: This comes to the next question. They're talking about a typical price range for wedding celebrant services. But I think the meat of the question is [00:40:00] this, what influences where a celebrant falls in the range? And before you answer, I'll give a little bit of my answer. I think the modern day 2024 price range for a celebrant is about 800 to 2, 500, which isn't to say there's people either side, but that's the.
main part of the bell curve. So Sarah, how do you, what do you think? What's your understanding of the messaging when people are on that scale? Let's say we'll stick to 800 to 2, 500 as an example. Okay. So if you and I are presenting to Jack and Jill as a celebrant and I'm 800 and you're 2,
What's your understanding of So we both identify as a settler.
I'm charging 800. You're charging 2, 500. What else is not being said when we set those numbers?
Sarah: I tend to find that the people who are charging [00:41:00] less, are often trying to justify their price by this is how much it costs me to run my business, so that's why you should pay me this much. Whereas the people at the top end are all about, this is the value I can provide to you as a couple. So they're much less about. This is why you need to pay me this much and more about this is what you get When you buy me
Josh: When you call my pimp and book me in
Sarah: you book me, that's better Yeah So Yeah, so I think that The difference is, can be in terms of the way people are marketing themselves.
But I also think that There are differences in, so if we're talking about like for so if we're talking about capital city, so we're not talking about regional, rural, talking about capital city, say we're talking about Melbourne, there are some celebrants who charge 800.
There are some celebrants who charge 3, 000. What's the difference? Why are they charging different amount? There [00:42:00] are differences, I think, in genders and in ages. So I think different gender, like male celebrants can charge more because there's less of them. There's, that's the supply and demand sort of thing.
If you want a male celebrant, there's they can charge more. I think that older celebrants are more likely to celebrants and therefore charge less than. younger slash middle aged counting myself as middle aged celebrants who are doing this as their profession and therefore may need to charge more to be able to pay the mortgage.
I think there are differences in, I'm going to say it, differences in aesthetics. I know as a larger, celebrant woman who uses a walking stick. I have been the stick is bit less of an issue. Certainly my size, I firmly believe has come into some couples. [00:43:00] Purchasing choices. I have watched couples faces fall as they walk in and see me for the first time.
Now they've seen pictures on my website and my social media. So I don't know as a surprise, but I felt that there is a proportion of couples out there who are making choices based on aesthetics. And I think that, there are some aesthetic profiles that can charge more because people will pay more.
That's not all couples. A lot of couples don't give a shit what you're done with but there is a proportion, maybe 10%, who are like, I've got a certain view about what my wedding is going to look like and everybody has to fit into that. I also think that there are, and these are all things that I talk about when I talk about pricing with my students, there are also, differences in terms of, doing this, like I talked about with many older celebrants viewing celebrancy as more of a community service, because if they've been around for a long time, when celebrancy started [00:44:00] 50 years ago, it was a community service.
And you can only charge 5 for it. And that was in the act, how much you're allowed to charge. Whereas, in the last 10 or 15 years, there's been much more of a movement to make celibacy into a profession and a career that you can actually make a full time living from. And so the intention behind your celibate practice, I think also informs your pricing.
And also what else do you have a partner who makes enough money that you can live on? are you, independently wealthy for whatever reason? do you only do this for family and friends? Like the intention and what else is going on in your life, all of those things will inform differences in price as well.
Josh: I don't disagree with you at all and it's funny because that's all stuff I wish I had written. I went on a slightly different angle this is in no way every circumstance, but I [00:45:00] feel that there's this kind of marriage between value slash perceived value, which is the same thing, I guess you could argue, married with the confidence of delivering that value.
And so the very, very top of your. price shot is the person who believes they're bringing the most value and they are most confident they can deliver that value. And then there's this kind of stepping down where not that the 800 person or the lowest price person is bringing less value, nor are they the least confident of that.
But it is there's a union of that in some sort. And it might not even be the lowest of confidence, but just not as confident and maybe Not as much value as perhaps the word I was trying to say, but yeah, it is hard because also there's colleagues of yours and mine and I've talked and I know I see that work and I'm like, Oh, are you charging that mate?
You should definitely be up in that a bit more if only because there is market segmentations in perhaps capital cities and more metro markets. [00:46:00] I don't think you are what you should be, but it's such a nuance and unique conversation. And moving on to the next question.
Sarah: What are the typical components of a winning celebrant package and how do they affect the cost? And see, okay, so that's a really interesting question because a lot of people do charge differently depending on https: otter. ai Oh God, that sounds exhausting.
Josh: you imagine rocking out to a wedding with a red carpet?
Sarah: My, and then there are people who charge more or less based on how many people, how many guests you have. They might charge less if there's 10 guests than if there's 500 guests. I personally, rate my different charges on how much work I'm going to have to do. that is based on the script, on the ceremony. So my legals only is only the legal words. My short and [00:47:00] sweet is a pre written standardized script that they can, make changes to with vows and music and rings, but readings, but it's standard. I don't have to write it and I don't write their story.
The premium is whatever bells and whistles they want completely tailored to their requirements, including their story. I don't really care how many people are out. I do have, for my legals only, I do have on my website, a maximum of 10 guests. But when people say to me, oh look, like I had in January, this couple who were both getting married for the second time, they had kids, they were having the big wedding, 100 people, the whole thing, and they're like, We really just want to do the legals though.
We do not care about the ceremony. It is not important to us. We just want to get married. And I'm like, as long as you tell your guests that it's going to be really short and not interesting, I am totally on board with that. What I don't want is to be turning up to a room full of guests who are expecting a half hour to get married.
Romantic, [00:48:00] genuine, authentic, personalized ceremony and delivering a three minute legals only because that makes me look bad. So I literally turned up and I had people coming out to me going, I hear this is going to be the shortest wedding I've ever been to. I can't wait. So they had done exactly what I asked them to and they had told all their guests it was going to be super quick and just the legals and we were getting it done.
And they were like, yes, we're on board with that. So I don't really care how many people are there. That actually doesn't change the amount of work I have to do. The amount of work I have to do is in the writing and the interviewing and the. Whatever else that's where the work is. And so that's where the difference in my prices.
Josh: Yeah, That's good. What extras and upgrades might a couple need to consider in their celebration budget? How much do they usually cost? Example,
Sarah: So I include a rehearsal in my premium[00:49:00]
Josh: MC, that kind of
Sarah: don't include it in my short and sweet because I don't think people need it for a short and sweet, but if they want it, they can pay an extra couple of hundred bucks. I've never had one rehearsal for a short and sweet in 10 years. I don't MC because I want to be at home on the couch eating pizza by the time it gets messy.
I don't want to be there. And yes, travel fees are a thing which you don't have to pay because you don't have to book a celebrant who's far away from you. You can either book a local celebrant and pay less, or if you really want to book someone who you really jive with for whatever reason, you might have to pay a travel fee. But other than that, there's not a lot of add ons.
Josh: Can I talk about the pizza? Just cause it still happens. I'm guessing it's industry wide. I'm guessing it's not just a Josh thing, but people and the kindness, the nicest couples. I'm very lucky. I have the nicest people generally book me as a celebrant and they'll I'll say, so we stick around afterwards, do you want [00:50:00] to stay for the reception?
And in that moment, I have to understand that they think. That's a really generous offer. I'm like, mate, unless I'm being paid, the last thing I want to do is hang out with your cousin. I have chosen a wife of my liking that I would like to perhaps see before I die. we have given birth to two children who I really like.
The last thing I need to do is to sit with your mate from work and
Sarah: only ever been to one reception
Josh: talk about
Sarah: awful. It was my second year. She begged me because a bunch of people had dropped out in the week before the ceremony. I think she asked me five times and eventually I caved and I went, I ended up on the misfit table with I don't know why he was at the wedding, but he was.
and like some teacher from primary school. Like I ended up on the table of people who literally didn't have anybody else to talk to. It was awful. And I will never do it again. And I am, I'm very open with people. I'm, I always [00:51:00] say, thank you so much for the lovely invitation, but I don't know anyone.
And I would like to spend the evening with my own family. They don't know that I don't have a partner at home. That doesn't matter. I might be spending the time with my Netflix
Josh: Yeah.
I have, This question, cause we'll bring this podcast on in the close to near future, but I'm going to ask this question and I'm going to hook into another thing, which this is me teasing that there's going to be a hook. But the question is how to factors like wedding date, location and ceremony complexity.
Sarah: We've covered complexity, but I know there are celebrants who certainly do charge differently based on venue. Because they're like, if you're paying 300 a person to get married at Stones, you can pay me more. And that's fine. And they don't have their prices on their website, so they can do that.
So if they're like, it's a Saturday in October, it's the busiest day of the year, and you are getting married at, yeah, at Stones, and I know you're paying 350. [00:52:00] Fine. No problem. I don't want to be thinking about that every day because I don't have enough bandwidth to go, how much should I charge this person?
It's just on my website. Just look at my website and you'll know. But yeah, there are certainly celebrants who charge differently for date and venue. And we've talked about ceremony complexity.
Josh: Yeah. All right. I'm going to come back around to that in a second. Just ask one more question from the list that I poke about gaming, because I think this is just interesting. How many hours do you Sarah typically spend on a winning from the initial inquiry through to the lodgement paperwork, like Jack and Jill inquire book, Mary,
Sarah: If
Josh: how many hours?
I don't know. You've got have you got three packages? I think you've got three. And I'm guessing that kind of varies across the three.
Sarah: I think I've worked it out at about 10 to 12 hours, but I do have to caveat that with the fact that I am not normal, [00:53:00] which we all know. I write very quickly, so I can write an entire
Josh: changes everything.
Sarah: the couple's story in 45 minutes.
And I know that a lot of celebrants take four or five, six hours. I would say for an average celebrant, somewhere between 15 and 20 hours is probably a good kind of average amount of time that you can think of.
Josh: Yeah, I put on average 12 hours. I only really have the one package. so about 12 hours is what the kind of buying of my time. I will say I don't love the way, and you talked about this a little earlier when some celebrants are saying this is what it costs for my business.
I don't love the idea of, a per hour, like I'm essentially in on charging per hour just because me charging per hour and someone else, there's different value being shared there. There's
Sarah: And I also, hang on a second, just back to that per hour [00:54:00] thing
Josh: I'm going to do the whole crayons where I was talking about, oh, sorry.
Sarah: In the first year, you might think about a per hour and base your total package cost off that. But I would hope that as you evolve in your celebrant journey, that you actually get quicker and more efficient at doing things.
So if it takes you less hours to do something that it did in the first year, does that mean you should get paid less? No, it doesn't. You should get paid more. Yes, you can raise your hourly rate.
Josh: Yep.
Sarah: again, the, yeah, the value that's being exchanged is different and you should get better and quicker and more efficient as you evolve through your business.
So it should take you less time, I would hope, as you get systems in place and efficiencies and all those sorts of things. So yeah, hourly rate, I think is good to think about at the start when you're first thinking about your pricing, but not as you work through your solvent career.[00:55:00]
Josh: So the the hook I wanted to make around was it's to another podcast called the wed. co podcast. I linked it to it on the Celebrant Institute website. You can use your own searching through YouTube or podcast app or Google. Wed. co podcast. Where's my voice is
Sarah: was
Josh: today.
Wed. co podcast. I don't know why it's so hard. Yeah, but There's two things that I wanted to point people to in that, and one was that question that we asked before, how do factors like wedding date location affect celebrant pricing? Because what I actually wrote to Polkadot is something, I don't know if I've ever talked about it on the podcast before, but it's something I'm a little thing I'm trying to make a thing, which I don't know.
I actually don't have faith in me making anything because I don't know whether I can change the world this much. But anyway, I think that everyone's world will be easier if instead of getting inquiries for, Hey Sarah, are you available for such and such date? But instead people say, Hey Sarah, you're our kind of celebrant.
We're going to find a date that works with you. And then you have photographer. This is a little with his wedding method, I call it where people find their team and then find a date [00:56:00] based on their team. And the reason point.
Sarah: much, much harder.
Josh: it's, and I know all the
Sarah: married for four years. If they're looking for a date that fits three different providers.
Josh: No, that's not true. if you're looking for three or four different providers, you can probably get married in
Sarah: If you're happy to get married on a Wednesday.
Josh: anyway. Exactly. Anyway, I talk about this in the word code podcast. But that's not the main reason. One of the main reason I wanted to point people there is because we were going to talk about on this episode, but I feel like we've run towards the timeline a little bit quicker than we imagined that I have become a little bit infamous in wedding videographer circles for a social media post I made on my social and also tag the celebrity institute.
About not allowing videographers to tape microphone tape recording instruments to a celibate microphone. I went into great depth about it WEDCO podcast. Happy slash embarrassed, but mostly [00:57:00] happy to say a lot of celebrants have heeded this wisdom and they're telling videographers not to post not to tape things to their microphones.
And the reason I've said not to do that is well detailed in the WebCode podcast. And so I wanted to point people to there so that if you've ever thought that maybe videographers taping things to your microphone is not a good idea, I'm in agreeance with that, but I actually go into great detail about it on the WEDCODE podcast, and it's a reason why Settlement should know their PAs better, we should know our microphones better, and understand how radio and audio works, and videographers should too, and videographers taping microphones to transmitting microphones should know that's going to be an interference.
So anyway. That's all on the Webco podcast. So the boys there are videographers and they I don't know if they agreed with me, but they heard me and I explained myself fairly well. And I will say as well, I've posted on the Celebrant Institute website about the new microphone I'm using a new road [00:58:00] interview pro.
And so I've gone and shared about that on the Celebrant Institute website, and I think it would be a good microphone for people to have if they want to record their ceremonies and really good audio and maybe even use it for content for their own social media. So there you go.
Sarah: Cool. Love
Josh: I reckon that's a podcast
Sarah: it is too. I think we're done. Yeah. Yes.
Josh: Please share this with other celebrants. I'd love to hear that more celebrants are listening to this podcast. Also, if you're not a member of the Celebrant Institute, it's some of the best 12 a month you'll ever spend. Go to celebrant. institute to become a member. Please send us any topics or information that you'd like us to cover in future episodes.
The more you email, the more we'll podcast and record and the more fun we'll have. So yeah, it's been a pleasure podcasting with you again.
Sarah: You too. Yay. Bye everybody. We'll talk to you soon.
### How to be a rockstar celebrant: commanding attention without a spotlight
Speaking to a group of people who don’t have to listen to you is a privilege I don’t take lightly. As a celebrant, it’s a daily honour, and it comes with an immense responsibility every time I pick up that microphone. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just starting out, my hope is that every celebrant learns how to be a powerful speaker and a meaningful communicator—a rockstar at the wedding.
But let’s get one thing straight: The world doesn’t need celebrants who crave the celebrity spotlight.
We’re not talking about the fame/infamy that comes with being a really high performing celebrant like those who can command an audience and hold their attention and shape the atmosphere of the moment.
A true rockstar celebrant doesn’t need to be the loudest voice or the biggest personality, but they do need to own that space up the end of the aisle, communicate meaningfully, and create an unforgettable vibe.
These are the pillars of Julian Treasure’s TED talk on how to speak so people want to listen—HAIL for short:
H: Honesty – Be clear and straightforward.
A: Authenticity – Be yourself.
I: Integrity – Be your word.
L: Love – Wish people well.
Every time I’ve left a wedding feeling on top of the world, it’s because I’ve nailed these four things. It’s about showing up real, cutting the crap, and delivering something truly meaningful. No gimmicks, no fluff—just you, your values, and the love in the room.
Stay true to yourself. Don’t chase trends or try to replicate someone else’s ceremony just because it seemed cool. That’s not what the couple needs. Each ceremony should be an authentic reflection of their story, not a copy-paste from Pinterest or someone else’s highlight reel.
Words are powerful. They can change a room, the air, the mood. A few well-chosen words can shift the entire experience of a wedding, so choose them, and your celebrant, wisely.
Now, do yourself a favor and watch Julian's TED talk. It’s 10 minutes that will change how you communicate, not just in ceremonies, but in life.
### My new favourite microphone: the Rode Interview Pro
For the last decade, I’ve famously recommended the Sennheiser EW range of wireless microphones to celebrants. They’ve been my go-to for reliable, high-quality sound in all kinds of wedding environments. And while I still believe they’re the best for many situations, I’ve recently found an almost-perfect microphone that I’ve come to love: the Rode Interview Pro.
The main reason I’ve switched to using the Rode? It records directly on the microphone!
Here’s why that’s a game-changer, not only for celebrants but also for wedding videographers.
Say goodbye to videographers taping recording devices to our microphones
If you’ve worked with wedding videographers, you’ve probably experienced the awkward moment where they want to attach their own recording devices to your microphone. It’s cumbersome, not to mention it can interfere with the aesthetics of the ceremony. With the Rode Interview Pro (paired with an appropriate receiver), that’s no longer necessary.
This handheld wireless microphone transmitter can automatically record all the audio on the microphone, giving videographers (and you) a built-in backup of the ceremony’s sound. They no longer need to tape extra gear to the microphone, and you don’t have to worry about additional clutter or interference. The result? A cleaner setup and a smoother workflow for everyone involved.
About the microphone pattern/type
There is one potential downside, in my humble opinion: the Rode Interview Pro uses an omnidirectional pickup pattern, while the Sennheiser EW 935 microphones I love use a cardioid pattern.
What’s the difference?
A cardioid microphone (like the Sennheiser 835) focuses on sound directly in front of it, making it ideal for ceremonies where you want to capture the couple's vows or readings without picking up too much background noise. It helps isolate the sound of the celebrant or person speaking while minimising noise from other sources, like guests talking, wind in the background, whilst minimizing feedback from the PA system speaker, that high-pitched squeal we hate.
An omnidirectional microphone (like the Rode Interview Pro) picks up sound equally from all directions. This can be great for interviews or spontaneous moments where people are speaking from different angles, but in a wedding setting, it might pick up more ambient noise, such as guests chatting, babies crying, environmental sounds like wind, or it could hear itself coming out of the speaker, thus creating that high-pitched squat we call feedback.
Why is this a negative?
In a wedding scenario, where clarity and focus are essential, an omnidirectional mic can occasionally be a bit of a challenge. While it ensures that no matter where the couple is facing or how softly they speak, their voices will be captured, it also means you might pick up unwanted sounds from around the ceremony. This can be a problem in outdoor settings with wind or in large venues with lots of guests.
So, while the Rode Interview Pro has a lot going for it, including its ability to record on the microphone and its ease of use, you’ll need to consider the venue, speaker positioning, and the potential for background noise. If you’re officiating in a particularly noisy environment, the Sennheiser’s cardioid mic might still be your best bet for isolating the couple’s voices and ensuring clear audio.
Why I love the Rode Interview Pro
Despite the omnidirectional pickup, I’ve found the Rode Interview Pro to be incredibly useful, especially for the flexibility it offers. Here’s why I still think it’s a top choice:
Local Recording: The fact that this microphone records directly on the transmitter is a huge advantage. It’s a built-in failsafe in case something goes wrong with the wireless connection, and it’s a feature that videographers will love. They can rely on the local recording, freeing them from the hassle of attaching extra recording devices to your microphone.
Syncing Audio for Social Media: If you’re like me and want to capture moments during ceremonies for social media content, the Rode Interview Pro makes it easy. You can set up a basic iPhone on a tripod to capture video and then sync that video with the high-quality audio recorded on the mic. This results in professional-grade content, even from a simple setup.
Flexibility with Couple: Because the mic captures sound from all directions, it’s forgiving if someone isn’t speaking directly into it. This makes it perfect for those candid post-ceremony interviews with the couple or spontaneous guest interactions.
I still recommend the Sennheiser EW range for celebrants who want absolute control over their audio in busy or noisy environments. But the Rode Interview Pro is quickly becoming my favourite, thanks to its innovative features—especially the ability to record directly on the mic. It’s a great tool for anyone looking to streamline their workflow and get high-quality sound for both ceremonies and social media content.
If you’re a celebrant looking for a new microphone or just want to level up your audio game, definitely check out the Rode Interview Pro. It’s not perfect in every situation, but for many weddings, it’s the closest I’ve found.
If all you buy is the Rode Interview Pro - the microphone/transmitter - you will simply be able to record audio, but it won't go anywhere because the Interview Pro is a transmitter but does not come with a receiver in box.
If you already own a Series IV Rode Wireless product like I'm about to list, then that Rode Wireless receiver can be synced to this microphone. You'll want either a:
Rode Wireless Pro - this package is the best quality wireless audio receiver, all the accessories you'll need, a charging case, and two wireless microphones for lab mics, and the whole system records in 32-bit Float Recording and has the current best wireless reception, this is what I am using and recommend, or you can get a,
Rode Wireless Go II dual lav mic edition or single lav mic edition. The Wireless Go II is a great product, but it doesn't support 32-bit float and its wireless audio reception is good but not as good as the Pro.
You'll likely also need the Rode VXLR adaptor so you can plug the Rode Wireless receiver into your PA system's XLR port.
The key to success is plugging the microphone and the receiver into your computer and setting the sensitivity lower and dynamic volume control off. Here are the settings I'm using for the microphone and the receiver. You use the Rode Central application on your computer or phone to configure these settings.
These are the audio settings I am using for the Rode Interview Pro. Note GainAssist is off, mic gain is around 22dB, the high-pass filter is set to 100, and recording is set to always.
These are the settings I'm using on the Ride Wireless Pro receiver. Not that gain mode is manual and set to -27.
What does the microphone sound like?
Here's a recording from a wedding I performed on Monday
https://vimeo.com/1015116164
### How to perform a commitment ceremony without breaking the law in Australia
A commitment ceremony can be an important and simple way to celebrate a marriage-like-love when the legal formalities of marriage according to the law in Australia aren’t possible, as in one of our member's cases today where her couple won’t have their divorce papers ready in time. While not legally binding, these ceremonies can be as meaningful and special as a wedding, maintaining a fun, honest, and legal approach without stepping into the realm of marriage solemnisation under Australian law.
Avoiding Legal Pitfalls
According to the Marriage Act 1961, celebrants must be careful not to include certain legal elements such as the monitum or official vows required for legal marriage. A key principle is that while a commitment ceremony can closely resemble a wedding, it must not cross the boundaries into legal territory.
Key considerations:
Avoid the monitum: Do not include the monitum, which legally defines marriage as “the union of two people, to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life”.
No legal vows: Ensure that the couple does not recite the legally required vows, like “I call upon the persons here present…”.
No signing legal certificates: While a symbolic certificate may be signed, it should be clear that it has no legal status. A simple decorative certificate can represent their union but must not reference marriage.
Fun, Honest, and Legal
The Guidelines to the Marriage Act highlight the importance of clarity and honesty in non-legal ceremonies. As celebrants, we are responsible for ensuring that all participants and guests understand that this is not a legal marriage. However, it is equally important to maintain the celebratory atmosphere. Here are some strategies to balance these requirements:
Opening Statement: Begin the ceremony by acknowledging that while the couple is not being legally married today, this is the day they choose to celebrate their love. This keeps the tone light-hearted and prevents any misunderstandings:
“Although today’s ceremony is not a legal marriage, it marks the day [Name] and [Name] affirm their love and commitment in front of those dearest to them. Today is the day they celebrate the joy and beauty of their union, as partners in life and love.”
Inclusive Language: Steer away from using the word “marriage” throughout the ceremony. Use terms like “union,” “commitment,” or “partnership” to describe their relationship:
“This ceremony represents the deep commitment [Name] and [Name] have chosen to make, a union of love and respect that will guide them through the years ahead.”
By avoiding terms that imply legal marriage, you remain within the guidelines of the Marriage Act while still offering the couple an intimate, meaningful event.
Keeping the Ceremony Fun
A non-legal ceremony doesn’t mean it has to be overly formal or distant. The focus should be on the love the couple shares and the joy of the day. Here are some suggestions to make it feel celebratory and fun:
Personal Vows: Encourage the couple to write their own vows, focusing on their journey together, their shared experiences, and their hopes for the future. This personal touch adds a unique dimension to the ceremony without stepping into legal territory.
Audience Participation: To keep the ceremony lively, involve the guests. For example, you could have them give blessings or share short anecdotes about the couple, adding warmth and humour to the proceedings.
A commitment ceremony provides a unique opportunity to celebrate love and union without the legal framework of marriage. By ensuring that you remain within the boundaries of the Marriage Act and focusing on modern, creative rituals like the Unity Painting, you can offer a ceremony that is both fun and deeply meaningful. By framing the day as a celebration of commitment rather than a wedding, you honour the couple’s wishes while staying clear of legal complexities.
### The deal with Australian celebrants and international weddings
Anka asks:
Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of celebrants on Facebook have started advertising that they can do weddings overseas? I didn’t think we could? I’m presuming they might be just completing paperwork at the airport before they depart? Or did I miss something?
Hi Anka, this is a question I personally field often, and I'm glad I get to address it on the Celebrant Institute today.
Under what authority?
The Attorney-General's office has the authority to appoint marriage celebrants according to Australian law. However, that law and authority are only valid within Australia. So, when an Australian authorised marriage celebrant leaves the country, they no longer carry the authority they did in Australia and become subject to the laws of the country they’re in—marriage laws and all. In simple terms, when an Australian marriage celebrant is in New Zealand, they lose the title of "marriage celebrant" while retaining the title of "Australian". Outside of Australia, you’re not officially a celebrant, which is why celebrants cannot witness notices of intent overseas.
If you see myself or others performing ceremonies overseas, we are working under the local laws. In those countries, if we have the necessary authority to marry people, then we may well be conducting legal weddings. If not, it’s technically not a legal marriage ceremony.
As of the time I’m writing this, I have the authority to marry people in Australia, the USA, and British Columbia, Canada. In other countries, when you see me officiating, the couple are getting married in their hearts, in spirit, but not legally married - not according to the law.
Even though I have the authority to legally marry in Canada and the USA, many of my couples still opt for the Australian paperwork route, as it makes it easier to change names and update passports or driver’s licences.
So, how do people get "married-married"?
It’s up to the couple to find the best legal process for themselves, depending on the country they’re in. Some people value the simplicity of having an Australian legal marriage and handle the paperwork on Australian soil before or after their overseas ceremony. Others prefer to have the date they exchanged vows as the official date on their marriage certificate, and they arrange things accordingly.
Isn't this strange?
For many Europeans, it’s quite common for the celebrant to have no legal authority. The couple typically visits a marriage office in the days leading up to their wedding, or even on the morning of, to legally solemnise their marriage there. (Do I get 10 points for using "solemnise" in a sentence?)
Similarly, for many Australian couples who would like a friend to marry them, I offer a similar service.
Can I witness Australian legal paperwork (like a Notice of Intended Marriage) while overseas?
No, Australian marriage celebrants have no legal authority to witness Australian marriage paperwork or solemnize marriages when they are not in Australia.
Can I put the international wedding date on their Australian marriage paperwork?
No.
The only way to do that would be to use international timezones to your, or their, benefit. Like signing the marriage paperwork at Sydney Airport, taking a flight to LAX and then doing the wedding in California after you land, but it's a bit silly to try such a feat.
The business end of the deal
You’ll meet very few wedding vendors who’ve successfully built a life—both financially and socially—around being a destination wedding vendor. I’m fortunate that Britt loves travelling more than I do, and Luna and Goldie like it even more! We love travelling the globe and we plan our international wedding schedule around our own dreams and hopes.
Most people reading this would probably love to travel too. I wish you all the best, but know that living with the word "destination" in your bio isn’t easy, if only because so many others have it there too. My advice? Focus on your local market and take on destination weddings that suit your personal life and family schedule.
### Josh on the Wed.co podcast
This week, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Steve and Joel on the Wed.Co Podcast, recorded at the picturesque Gabbinbar Homestead in Toowoomba. It was such a great chat about all things celebrancy, storytelling, and the magic of creating wedding ceremonies that truly resonate with couples and their guests. We covered some real gold in this episode—definitely one to tune into if you’re in the wedding industry or simply curious about how the best ceremonies are crafted. We went deep on weddings, celebrancy, and the industry, and covered so many points, including:
Owning Your Ceremony Style: We talked about how easy it is to fall into the trap of following traditions or trying to be what people expect, but the real magic happens when you lean into your own style. I shared a few stories about how, as celebrants, it’s crucial to put your own personal stamp on a ceremony to make it not just memorable, but truly unforgettable.
Preparing for the Unexpected: Weddings are live events—things go wrong, people forget their lines, the weather turns—but that’s where the fun lies. Steve, Joel, and I discussed the importance of planning for those unpredictable moments and how to roll with them so the couple (and their guests) never even notice.
The Power of Storytelling: This was a big focus of our conversation. A wedding ceremony is more than just a legal requirement—it’s the moment where the couple’s story is told. We chatted about how to weave their journey into the ceremony in a way that keeps everyone engaged and emotionally invested from start to finish. It’s about turning that love story into something that leaves a lasting impression.
Engaging the Audience: We also talked about how to keep the crowd’s attention throughout the ceremony. Whether it’s through humour, timing, or those heart-on-sleeve moments, it’s all about finding ways to draw everyone in. I shared some tips on pacing the ceremony, making sure it flows naturally and keeps people connected, so they’re not just witnesses—they’re part of the experience.
Tech Tips—The Importance of Audio and Video: We also delved into the practical side of things—like the game-changing power of a good wireless microphone and a quality PA system. I cannot stress enough how crucial it is for everyone to hear the ceremony, especially for those sitting at the back or for the videographer capturing the day. We discussed how working closely with videographers and ensuring the right tech setup can make a world of difference, not just for the couple on the day, but for their memories down the line when they watch their wedding video.
It was a fantastic conversation, and I think anyone who’s planning a wedding or working in the industry will take a lot from it. So, if you’re keen to hear more about how to make wedding ceremonies truly stand out, have a listen and let me know what you think. Search for "Wed.Co" in your podcast app, or follow these links to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Youtube.
### The five laws of sales your celebrant website needs to respect
When you're building your celebrant website, you’re crafting the digital front door to your business, the handshake before you meet your couple. And like any good intro, it needs to do more than look good—it needs to work for you. Let’s break it down using these five laws of sales, turning those clicks into conversations, and those conversations into bookings.
Jacob’s Law: Familiarity Wins
Jacob’s Law tells us that people spend the majority of their time on other websites. What does that mean for you? They expect your site to behave like others they’ve seen. No wild, confusing navigation or quirky layouts just for the sake of being “different.” Instead, make your website intuitive.
When a couple hits your homepage, they should easily find a button to learn more about you, view your services, or book a chat. Simple navigation, clear headlines, and obvious buttons keep visitors happy because it's what they're already used to. Be creative with your content, but let the layout be familiar.
Hick’s Law: Don’t Overload Their Brains
Ever been to a restaurant with a menu so long you feel paralyzed by choices? Hick’s Law is all about decision fatigue—the more options you give someone, the longer they take to decide, or worse, they might decide not to decide at all.
On your website, streamline the decision-making process. Have one clear call-to-action per page. Want them to book a call? Make that button pop. Too many distractions—like social media feeds, a blog that’s outdated, or three different links to click—will only delay the action you want them to take. Make it easy, make it obvious, and make it quick.
Principle of Least Effort: Don’t Make Them Work
Visitors to your website want the path of least resistance. We’re naturally inclined to take the easiest route to get what we want. So, if booking a celebrant chat means digging through layers of pages or completing a complex form, they’ll likely bail.
Let them do the least amount of work possible to get the maximum value. That could mean a homepage that leads them directly to a scheduling tool, auto-filled forms, or a clear FAQ that handles objections before they even ask. The goal: Make every step feel as easy as a conversation with a mate over a coffee.
Anchoring Effect: Show Them What’s Normal
We’re all wired to compare. The anchoring effect is where people rely too heavily on the first piece of information they see. So, set the expectation high.
On your website, present your premium package first, not last. When couples see that option first, everything else feels more reasonable. If the first thing they see is a high-end, all-in package, the mid-tier and lower-end offerings seem like great deals in comparison. It’s about controlling the narrative—don’t be afraid to put your best (and priciest) foot forward.
Social Proof: Let Your Clients Sell for You
Social proof is powerful because it’s human nature to look for cues from others before making a decision. Your potential clients want to know you’re the real deal, and nothing says that better than glowing reviews and real wedding stories.
Don’t just hide those testimonials on a dedicated “Review” page. Sprinkle them throughout your site. Have a client rave about how smooth the process was? Put that on the booking page. Did a couple gush about how comfortable you made them feel? Let that review be the first thing they see on your homepage. Couples want to feel like they’re making the right choice, and nothing convinces better than someone else’s happy experience.
When designing your celebrant website, think like a couple looking for a trustworthy guide.
Keep it simple and familiar (Jacob’s Law), reduce the overwhelm (Hick’s Law), make it effortless (Principle of Least Effort), anchor expectations with your best offer (Anchor Law), and let happy couples do the selling for you (Social Proof).
When all of these principles come together, you’re not just making a website—you’re creating a powerful tool that turns curiosity into connection, and connection into commitment.
### When someone gets engaged, what's on their mind?
The best marketing in the world meets the target market where they're at. Whether that's in placement, or in creative.
Have you ever considered where people are "at" when they get engaged? And more importantly, have you considered how the at changes over time?
I'm reminded of the first radio station I had work at, 4CRM in Mackay. When I started there in 2002 their brand was "107.5 FM Stereo" forty years after stereo FM radio was formalised and 20 years after it was popularised. They were wasting brand equity on a term everyone expected. Like a hotel I stayed at recently that offered free Foxtel, but I didn't even turn on the TV.
Many businesses don't accurately know where their customers are at. If a radio station wanted to win me over today it wouldn't be playing music, in stereo or not, and if a hotel wanted to win me over they'd boast of their pillows, beds, and bedside USB-C charging.
Do you and I know where are customers are at today? Where are our wedding clients of tomorrow and how can we best position ourselves and our message to reach them effectively?
Physically
Consider the literal, physical spaces your couples frequent. Is there outdoor advertising you could engage in via something like Cassie
Are they attending wedding expos, local bridal boutiques, or elopement destinations?
Meet them in the spaces they naturally gravitate towards, whether through in-person engagement or targeted advertising.
For example, collaborating with venues, popular tourist destinations for elopements, or wedding fairs can help you be present where they're physically planning and experiencing wedding-related activities.
Geographically
Are they at home, or maybe they got engaged on holidays? Why do you think the post-winter and the post-Christmas enquiry seasons exist?
Couples in certain regions will have different needs and desires for their weddings.
For instance, those in city areas may want more modern, chic weddings, while couples in rural or coastal areas may prefer something laid-back or nature-driven.
Understand the geographical wedding trends in your area and how they might change over time.
Tap into local culture and aesthetics to craft a service that feels tailor-made for your region.
Internationally or destination-focused celebrants must consider time zones and local laws when planning their outreach.
Emotionally
Emotionally, newly engaged couples are often overwhelmed with excitement, but also anxiety.
Are you addressing their fears—budget, logistics, family dynamics—or just feeding into their Pinterest-fueled fantasies?
The best marketing connects emotionally, assuring couples that you've got their back and understand the gravity of their big day.
Reassuring them that you're a problem-solver and an expert in navigating this emotional rollercoaster helps build trust.
Storytelling and testimonials can work wonders in this space, making the emotional connection more personal.
Financially
Weddings can be one of the biggest financial commitments people make outside of buying a house, particularly this early in their relationship.
Where is your target audience financially? Are they young professionals balancing student loans with wedding budgets, or are they older couples investing heavily in their dream event?
Align your pricing and payment structures with where your clients are financially.
Offer value packages or transparent pricing to take the financial sting out of the equation, which in turn makes them feel empowered and secure in choosing you.
Online
Where are they spending their time online? Instagram? Pinterest? Are they Googling wedding photographers or watching YouTube for wedding inspiration?
Your online presence needs to meet them where they hang out digitally. Be active on the platforms that matter to them and provide valuable, SEO-optimised content.
Create blog posts, guides, or Q&A videos that answer their burning questions—like navigating legalities or how to write personal vows.
Relationally
Understanding where couples are relationally can guide how you market yourself.
Some couples are in the early, dreamy stages of engagement, while others are managing family tensions, blending families, or even considering a small, intimate wedding after several years together.
Recognise the different types of relationships and market accordingly. For instance, you might share content that speaks to how your services cater to both elopements and larger traditional weddings, or you could offer resources on how to incorporate blended family rituals into a ceremony.
It's highly likely they aren't even thinking of celebrants, or if they are, there's a one in a billion chance they're thinking of you or me. It's our job to market ourselves to them, to meet them where they're at.
A personal problem I've had to face this year is a personal internal attitude that had crept up through Covid. I'd accidentally, unintentionally, and silently developed an unhealthy attitude of entitlement. I've been doing this long enough, surely I don't have to dance on TikTok to get a wedding booking do I?
And although I might not need to dance on TikTok to get an enquiry, I deserve that next wedding enquiry no more (and no less) than the celebrant that was appointed this last week.
No-one owes me an enquiry, a reply, or a wedding booking. If I work hard enough for it my hopes and prayers are that they'd arrive, but me being entitled doesn't help at all.
### Talking about talking about celebrant price
A wedding blog that you and I both love posed some questions to me about how much celebrants cost, how to budget for one, and what to expect from certain fees. I know from a recent celebrant group chat I'm in that this conversation sends most of us to the sand to put our heads in the ground, so I thought I'd share the questions and answers posed by the blog, for the benefit of members, so we can start talking about talking about money and fees and prices.
I'd also submit my words below to your comments. Disagree? Think it could have been written better? I'm ready for the conversation about it.
Q: What factors should couples consider when setting their initial wedding celebrant budget?
A: Couples planning to book a celebrant should know that there is no national agreement on what a celebrant should charge or provide. Every celebrant is a unique person, with a unique offering, style, and packages, as well as their own business goals and lifestyle. One celebrant might do this as a hobby and charge a hobbyist fee, another might do celebrancy as a side-gig, so your expectations should match their standard. Another might be the sole provider for their family, meaning their fee, offering, and level of professionalism will differ. With a full-time celebrant whose only work is celebrancy, you’ll pay more but you’ll likely get more than you ever expected.
Q: How much of their total wedding budget should couples typically allocate to a celebrant?
A: Much of the wedding budget scales according to guest numbers. The larger the guest list, the larger the venue and other services, but the celebrant isn’t overly affected by guest list size. So, a percentage of the budget doesn’t work well here. Instead, budget around $1,000 for an average celebrant—that’s the national average. For a full-time professional celebrant, you might pay up to $2,500, with some offering extras and services that could bring the total closer to $5,000.
Q: What's the typical price range for wedding celebrant services, and what influences where a celebrant falls within this range?
A: Going to a public servant in a registry office can cost up to $800 in some states, so the personalised service a celebrant offers begins where the government leaves off. I'd say the price range for a celebrant is from $800 to $2,500 for the ceremony. Cheaper celebrants may not be as confident in their offering, the value they bring, or the level of service they provide. As the price moves higher, the celebrant is typically more confident in their ability to meet expectations and bring immense value to the ceremony.
Q: What are the typical components of a wedding celebrant package, and how do they affect the overall cost?
A: The bare minimum a celebrant must do is comply with the Marriage Act of 1961. This means delivering a legally compliant, respectful, and accurate marriage ceremony, maintaining professionalism, protecting the couple's privacy, and providing information on relationship support services. This includes receiving the marriage paperwork at least one month before the wedding and ensuring legal compliance. Beyond this, celebrants are free to design their offerings. These can include personalised ceremonies, rehearsals, writing scripts, including readings and rituals, providing wedding furniture or ornaments, acting as MC, or even DJ services. Travel expenses may also apply, particularly if the celebrant travels globally, as I do.
Q: What extras and upgrades might a couple need to consider in their celebrant budget, and how much do they usually cost (e.g., rehearsals, travel fees)?
A: I’ve never attended a rehearsal that made the wedding less stressful or more enjoyable, so I don’t include rehearsals because I don't love them. My packages are simple: ceremony only ($1,800) or ceremony and reception ($2,800). The only added cost would be if the wedding requires me to stay overnight or fly, and those expenses are made known before the couple books.
Q: How do factors like wedding date, location, and ceremony complexity affect celebrant pricing?
A: If you choose a wedding date before securing your team, every conversation with a vendor will start with “Are you available?” My best advice is to first choose a core team (celebrant, photographer, videographer, florist, stylist, planner, entertainment) and a venue, then collaborate on a date that works for everyone. If you approach each enquiry with a set date, you might end up booking vendors you didn’t plan for—whether they’re cheaper with less service or more expensive than you anticipated.
Q: Are there any often-overlooked expenses related to wedding celebrants that couples should budget for?
A: After your ceremony, your celebrant will hand you a certificate of marriage, but this can’t be used as proof of a name change or marriage. For that, you’ll need to contact the Births, Deaths, and Marriages office in the state where you were married to order an official certificate, which typically costs around $50. This isn’t a celebrant cost, but it’s something couples should budget for.
Q: What are the "hidden" costs that might be included in what we pay a celebrant?
A: I run an honest business with no hidden fees. However, some celebrants charge for rehearsals, meetings, sales calls, if weddings run late, or if there are date changes. These should all be detailed in writing before you book, so hopefully, there aren’t any surprises.
Q: How many hours do you typically spend on a wedding from the initial enquiry through to the lodgement of paperwork?
A: Each wedding booking takes about 12 hours of my time, plus travel. Sometimes, I’m away from home for three days due to travel.
Q: Is there a typical payment schedule celebrants follow?
A: I take a booking fee to secure the date, which is about one-third of the total fee. The rest is due four months after booking. This is typical, though some celebrants may break it into thirds over the pre-wedding period, and some take full payment in the weeks before the wedding. The key point is that collective bargaining is illegal, so celebrants do not operate as a group charging the same amount or using the same payment schedules. Every celebrant’s business structure is different.
Q: What options are available for couples on a tight budget who still want a quality wedding celebrant?
A: To get quality, you often need to compromise. Like choosing a luxury car, you trade value for quality. Celebrants are a small portion of the overall wedding budget, particularly in terms of cost-per-guest. You could cut back on the guest list to free up budget for a celebrant. Some celebrants offer better prices for weekday weddings or earlier in the day, as they can still book another prime-time wedding that week.
Q: Anything else you'd like to tell us about setting a budget and what to expect when it comes to celebrants?
A: Your celebrant sets the tone and vibe for your entire wedding. If you want a wedding that feels awesome, get an awesome celebrant!
### Learnings from MrBeast's strategy, for wedding celebrants
If you don’t know who MrBeast is, then jump onto Youtube and search for the guy with 312 million subscribers, and almost 60 billion views over his 800 videos released over the last 12 years.
Jimmy has a large staff today and as anyone with a strong company culture does, he’s published a PDF for new employees on how things work around Mr Beast HQ.
Here are my take-aways from the document you can find my Googling and I’m not going to share a link to because it might get us in trouble!
Jimmy's quotes are, and you're not going to guess this, in quotation marks.
Focus
“Your goal here is to make the best YOUTUBE videos possible. That’s the number one goal of this production company. It’s not to make the best-produced videos. Not to make the funniest videos. Not to make the best-looking videos. Not the highest quality videos… Everything we want will come if we strive for that.”
As a marriage celebrant, our primary goal is to create the most meaningful and memorable wedding ceremonies possible. Just as MrBeast focuses on making the best YouTube videos, your focus should be on delivering the best wedding experience for each couple. Everything else—whether it’s marketing, social media, or administration—should support this central goal.
Be adaptable and innovate
“We pivot a lot, be ready to have everything flipped on its head at a moment’s notice lol.”
In the wedding industry, trends change, and so do clients’ needs and expectations. Being adaptable and open to new ways of conducting ceremonies or marketing your services will help keep your business relevant and in demand. This is ever more true for social media and content creation. As I write this some of the smartest people in social media are at a conference in Perth (State of Social) and I - and you - should have been there to learn from the best.
Surround yourself with great people
“A-Players are obsessive, learn from mistakes, coachable, intelligent, don’t make excuses, believe in Youtube, see the value of this company, and are the best in the goddamn world at their job.”
Whether you’re working with other vendors or hiring assistants, aim to surround yourself with people who are equally committed to excellence. This ensures that every part of the wedding experience is handled with the utmost care and professionalism.
Creativity is key
“Creativity is the answer… Instead of just throwing money at the problem, we used creativity.”
The wedding industry can be competitive, so finding creative ways to differentiate your services—whether through unique ceremony elements, personalised touches, or creative marketing—can save money and elevate your brand.
Understand the importance of storytelling
“Hook people at the start of the video, transition them to an amazing story that they are invested in, have no dull moments, and then have a satisfying payoff at the end of the video with an abrupt ending.”
Just as MrBeast emphasises the importance of storytelling in his videos, a good wedding ceremony tells the story of the couple’s journey. Each ceremony should have a structure that keeps guests engaged and emotionally invested from start to finish.
Always be improving
The best in any field continually seek ways to improve their skills and services. Whether it’s refining your public speaking, learning new cultural traditions, curating better content or advertising, or finding more efficient ways to manage your time, constant improvement is vital.
“We must always be improving and innovating. The camera angles need to always get better, the pacing, the story, the jokes, the color, the lighting, the music, the props, the people, our framing, our ideas, literally everything must always be improving and innovating.”
Your information diet matters
“What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet… Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content.”
What you consume—be it media, books, or even conversations—shapes your creativity and influences how you conduct ceremonies and run your business. Ensure you’re consuming content, books, newsletters, podcasts, videos, and seminars that inspire and informs your work as a celebrant.
Establish clear communication and accountability
“It’s very important as a company we maintain proper communication lines. On set and off set… Ideally when communicating across departments you go up and then over. If you skip and just go below you… then you have no idea what’s going on.”
In your wedding business, clear communication with clients, vendors, and your team is crucial. Miscommunication can lead to mistakes that could affect the entire event. Make sure everyone involved knows their responsibilities and that there’s a clear line of communication to avoid any last-minute issues.
Learn how to be an expert emailer (check your spam folder and make sure your emails are not ending up in the receiver’s spam folder!), an expert video-chatter, an expert iPhone user etc. Communication is the number one way to set yourself apart in this modern world.
Emphasise authenticity and excitement in your services
“If I’m not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen. I’m not fake and I will be authentic, that’s partly why the channel does so well. And if I’m not excited by the video, we’re fucked.”
Being authentic in your approach to ceremonies and genuinely excited about each wedding will resonate with your clients and make their experience more memorable.
Clients can sense when you’re genuinely invested in their ceremony, which adds to the overall experience.
Plan for contingencies and have backup plans
“Always have a backup day… When you’re spending hundreds of thousands of dollars securing a set, renting a tank, etc. make sure you have the ability to extend them in case something goes wrong.”
Weddings often involve multiple variables that can change last minute, from weather to vendor issues. Always have a backup plan to ensure the ceremony goes smoothly regardless of what happens.
My wife knows who my celebrant-besties are and she knows my scheudle so if something goes wrong she calls them.
Leverage “Wow Factor” moments
“Another non-trackable thing about virality I’d like you to know is what we call the ‘wow factor’… Anything that no other youtuber can do. And it’s important we never lose our wow.”
Creating memorable moments in your ceremonies—whether through unexpected elements, emotional speeches, or unique rituals—can set your services apart and make the event unforgettable for the couple and their guests.
Always seek feedback and improvement
“Run your content by as many people as possible for inspiration on how you could make it even better.”
Actively seek feedback from clients and peers to refine your services. Don’t hesitate to ask how you can improve or what might have made the ceremony better. This openness to feedback helps you stay at the top of your field.
Be prepared to handle setbacks and use them to your advantage
“If something goes wrong on shoot always check to see if it can be made into content. A tree falls over on your car and breaks the 100 vases we needed to give away? THAT’S FUCKEN HILARIOUS AND WE SHOULD MENTION IT IN THE VIDEO LOL.”
When something goes wrong, as it sometimes does in weddings, see if you can turn the setback into a positive part of the experience. Whether it’s a last-minute change or an unexpected issue, use your creativity to make it work in your favour.
That’s your next blog post or social media content piece.
Strong opening
“The first minute of each video is the most important minute of each video… Hook people at the start of the video, transition them to an amazing story that they are invested in, have no dull moments, and then have a satisfying payoff at the end of the video with an abrupt ending.”
“On this particular video we lost 21 million viewers in the first minute of the video… This is why we freak out so much about the first minute and go so above and beyond to make it the best we freakin can.”
All I can think about here is the first few seconds a brand new person sees your website, your social, the email reply to their enquiry.
Start strong.
Structuring the ceremony to maximise engagement
“Strong payoffs at the end of videos boost retention… You get invested in the progress and the challenge… Luckily the winner isn’t revealed until the end of the video so as long as we don’t make the video boring as hell people are very likely to stick around until the end.”
Similar to how MrBeast structures his videos with a clear beginning, middle, and end, your wedding ceremonies can be carefully planned to maintain engagement of the couple and the guests.
This could involve starting with an attention-grabbing introduction, followed by meaningful storytelling elements that keep the guests emotionally connected, and finishing with a powerful closing that leaves a lasting impression - aka the kiss and the aisle.
By applying these principles, you can ensure that your ceremonies not only hold the attention of the guests but also leave them deeply moved and engaged throughout the entire experience.
Hook your audience early with engaging content
“The first minute of each video is the most important minute of each video… Hook people at the start of the video, transition them to an amazing story that they are invested in, have no dull moments.”
Just as in a video, the first moments of your content (emails, replies to enquiries, ceremonies, all of it) need to grab the attention of couples and keep them interested.
Whether it’s a blog post, a social media update, or a video, start with something that directly addresses their excitement or concerns. For instance, share tips on where to start planning, or highlight the importance of personalising their ceremony. The goal is to make them feel that your content is exactly what they need at that moment.
Create content that feels exclusive and special
“Anytime we do something that no other creator can do, that separates us in their mind and makes our videos more special to them. It changes how they see us and it does make them watch more videos and engage more with the brand.”
To keep engaged couples interested, offer content that feels unique to them—perhaps insider tips on wedding planning, behind-the-scenes looks at ceremonies you’ve officiated, or special offers for those who follow you on social media. This creates a sense of exclusivity and keeps them invested in your content.
KYC: Know your customer
“Our content is consumed by everyone at this point… Despite saying all that, at its core if I had to describe it, I’d say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games.”
Understand that engaged couples are at different stages of their planning journey. Tailor your content to address the diverse needs of your audience, whether they’re just starting to think about their wedding or deep into the planning process. This could involve creating different series of content for each stage, ensuring that you’re always relevant to their current situation.
### What do I do if a celebrant has the same name as me?
Tracey asks:
As of last month, another celebrant has been registered in the regional city where I live (population 40,000) who has the exact same personal name as mine. Our registered business names are slightly different, but both include our first names. Word of mouth and contacts are important sources of business in this area. I am currently in the process of registering my business name as a trademark. I've had to go into overdrive to mitigate any potential implications of this situation. Any advice on steps I might take that I haven't already considered or done would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
My general encouragement for any celebrant is to simply operate under their own name, if only because it’s one less thing for people to remember when talking about you. However, in cases like yours, where another celebrant in your area has the same personal name, securing a solid mark of trade—a trademark—becomes particularly important. This will help you establish a distinct identity and protect your brand from potential consumer confusion.
If I were in your shoes, I would start by having a coffee with this celebrant to discuss the situation and assess their business goals and how they align or differ from yours. Open communication can help you both navigate the landscape more amicably and may reveal opportunities for differentiation that hadn’t been considered.
From there, you should make a plan for a solid business trading name and brand style. It’s worth investing in professional assistance to develop a cohesive brand guide, logo, trademark, and associated website. Not only will this help legally protect your brand, but it will also enhance your search engine optimisation (SEO), making it easier for clients to find you online without confusion. Additionally, reviewing and possibly differentiating your social media handles and online profiles will further reinforce your unique identity.
You might consider using a middle name, nickname, maiden or married name, or even a company name to distinguish yourself. For example, if another Josh Withers appeared today, that would be their problem, not mine. But if I were the newbie, I’d probably brand myself as Joshua Daniel Celebrant, or maybe JD. It’s crucial to communicate these changes clearly to your existing and potential clients to avoid any misunderstandings. This can be done through direct communication, as well as consistent branding across all materials—from business cards to email signatures.
Remember, celebrancy is how I put a roof over my family’s head, and the viability of my business is my number one priority. Gathering and displaying client testimonials that emphasize your unique approach or service style can further distinguish you from the other celebrant, reinforcing your brand's distinctiveness. Thinking long-term, consider how this situation might influence your future branding or business expansion. You may even find opportunities to pivot or evolve your brand if necessary.
You might make different decisions, but that’s what I’d do.
### Best portable PA speaker system for wedding celebrants in 2024
Jo asks:
Hey Josh, it's one of your favourite subjects - P.A. systems. I am saving up for my first one, not even sure where to start but think my budget might stretch to $2k. Is that too little? Can you provide some options and good suppliers? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Jo, you are so correct, this is one of my favourite subjects. Well before I was a celebrant with opinions on PA systems I was a guest at weddings and even regular events where I struggled to hear the person speaking. Nothing frustrates my brain more than being able to see the lips moving but the sound isn't in my ears. In fact, good stage designers and performance creators base their decisions on the audience's five senses being in line with what they are trying to deliver. Can the audience member at the front, middle, and rear, see, hear, feel, smell, and taste exactly what we want them to.
Our recommendation
The best PA system for celebrants today is the combination of the Bose S1 Pro+ and the Sennheiser EW-DP 835 set, paired with a good speaker stand like a K&M.
For celebrants who need a lavalier microphone, there are two types made available by Sennheiser in this range, the ME 2 and the ME 4. The ME 2 set comes with a lavalier microphone which is of the omnidirectional type, which they say "delivers clear, intelligible dialog" and the ME 4 has a cardioid type lavalier microphone which they say "helps to isolate your speech in nosier environments". I get battery anxiety so I'm also buying the extra battery to replace my AA battery addiction and the USB battery charger.
If a handheld or lavalier microphone isn't your style, then I recommend the Countryman headset microphones which will plug into your EW-DP ME 2 or ME 4 linked above.
Gear I do not recommend
Anything with a MiPro logo on it, but especially MiPro microphones - put a MiPro and a Bose next to each other and listen to the sound, they're worlds apart. The new Bose wireless adaptor microphones. Any bluetooth microphones. Anything that can be bought at JB Hifi, Harvey Norman, Temu, Alibaba, or Jaycar pretty much. Anything cheap because cheap audio gear is generally bad audio gear considering the pressures of a wedding ceremony.
How we got there
In a wedding we might not be appointed as the stage designer but I think that if we can take a small amount of responsibility on how the guests are hearing, seeing, smelling. touching, and feeling the ceremony. There is then a high possibility that the guests might interact with the ceremony more and the couple might have an awesome wedding.
My PA system journey up until now
My first PA system was a MiPro. I never purchased one, but my employer owned one and I would borrow it in my early days, until I grew tired of these two issues:
The audio going in simply didn't sound like the audio coming out. The microphones of the MiPro systems did not complement the actual sound of the ceremony, I deemed them distracting to the crowd because of the poor amplification of my speech and the couples' vows, making the ceremony harder to hear and enjoy. Simply put: low-quality microphones.
The MiPro's battery system is quite low-tech and on two occasions I had a freshly charged PA system die because it turned out the battery quality had degraded to a point where it no longer held charge. It turns out the MiPro battery needs replacing every 9-15 months. The more you know ...
My second PA system was a Chiayo, and it was a similar deal to the MiPro.
My third PA system was the first PA system I liked. It was a Roland BA-55, now discontinued, its successor does not come with a built-in microphone. The only downside to the BA-55 was that its battery power came from AA batteries, an costly replacement option although I appreciated knowing how old the batteries were, and the other downside was that its microphone operated on 2.4GHz, a frequency shared with wifi networks, bluetooth, and water. So imagine marriage ceremonies in the inner-city, hundreds of wifi networks nearby, mobile phones everywhere, then add in human bodies around the PA system (like bridal parties) and from time to time the microphone would cut out for a split-second. I wondered if there was a better way.
My fourth PA system was a Behringer on-loan from Behringer themselves and I wouldn't give one to my worst enemy. The speaker was bad, quiet, lacked loudness, felt like a cheap build, but the microphone sounded worse, and it was a Bluetooth microphone. If you were more than two meters from the PA system it would fade out.
My fifth PA system was my proudest purchase, and has been for about three years. It's a Sennheiser LSP-500. The Sennheiser is a beast of a unit. It is loud, crystal clear, manufactured by one of the best audio companies on the planet, amazing technology inside with digital 100%-0% battery readings, dual hot-swappable batteries, built-in compressors, EQs on each channel, USB recording, and you could have three Sennheiser wireless microphones installed, so I could turn up to a wedding with a better PA system than the best DJ and the ceremony would be clearly heard and understood and videographers loved it.
The only downside of the Sennheiser is that when I travelled it weighed 32kg in its travel case, about 20kg to lift up onto a speaker stand, and my complete kit out with two microphones and a wireless bodypack transmitter, along with all the accessories was close to $8,000 AUD.
For the past three years I have only recommended the LSP-500, and would still recommend this PA system today, it's the top of the food chain, there's not a system on the market that meets its sound quality, loudness, and versatility.
Then I found the Bose
If you talk to wedding DJs many are bringing Bose L1/B1 PA systems to weddings. They are small, versatile, and loud for the price. But I've always been of the opinion that Bose's marketing was better than it's products. Today I still believe that - with the exception of their PA speaker systems, particularly their new portable PA system.
Things I love about the Bose S1 Pro:
It weighs 7kg
It fits in the overhead compartment of airplanes so easily, it's about the size of a medium can of paint
It sounds good!
It's loud and crystal clear
Did I mention how small and light it is?
I've never trusted Bluetooth on the Sennheiser LSP-500, and I generally wouldn't trust Bluetooth anywhere, but on the S1 it works perfectly every time, across a room over 100 people, it's a miracle
About 145 degrees wide audio projection, which basically means it has a horizontally wide spread of spitting out audio to the crowd which simply means more people can hear the one speaker
About eight hours battery life, and you can check current battery life by double tapping the Bluetooth button
You can use two at once so you get full coverage on a big ceremony.
Videographers will love you
They're hardy enough to operate in high temperatures
Things the Bose S1 Pro is missing:
Built-in microphones
Recording to a USB stick
If there's a size of a crowd, maybe over 100/120 guests, I think I'd like to have two
So the USB recording can't be fixed (videographers loved that) and purchasing two is achievable at the price, and the microphone "problem" is easily solved.
Setting it all up
As you can see in the image, there are two main input channels for XLR or 1/4" Jack connectors (it's a combo plug, you can plug either or) and the third plug is a 3.5mm plug for a phone or MP3 player, but it doubles as a Bluetooth connection. The output plug is a 1/4" Jack connector.
Here's a photo of my whole setup ready to party, the only thing missing is a speaker stand (the Bose sits on standard 35mm speaker stands)
### A decade of Aird and Withers
Over a decade ago (a decade and two months actually) everyone's favourite celebrant-shaped human and oracle - Sarah Aird - reached out to me with a software/technology question and that was the beginning of a decade long text-message-thread/phone-call-marathon/email chain/beverage-exchange/business-partnership that Sarah Aird and I call our friendship.
This morning another Australian marriage celebrant association had a political meltdown (there's always seems to be a celebrancy-flavoured community breakdown happening somewhere in Australia) and I was reminded of why Sarah and I joined forces to create the Celebrant Institute.
Our relationship bloomed early on the love of a few common threads:
screenshotting and sharing with each other the wild stuff happening in Facebook groups for weddings, wedding industry, and celebrants
desperately trying to find the right piece of software or computer hardware that will finally soothe our nerdy souls
a deep desire to be the best celebrant we could individually be
raising the professional level of celebrants and what the marketplace expects of us
making celebrancy our full-time careers
memes
In October 2017 I shared a Google doc with Sarah where we could share all of the topics we'd talk about on a podcast for celebrants, and that podcast still publishes today at celebrant.fm.
In late March 2018 Sarah spurred the idea that we would start what you now know to be the Celebrant Institute. What was the pitch?
I have LOTS of content I can get up on the website before we even start - years of questions that I’ve answered for people. So people are paying not only to be able to ask questions, but also to have access to the searchable content (which is all available in the Guidelines but we know people don’t like to look there). What’s the easiest way to present a searchable database of content? Blog posts?
People email in their questions, we respond to them by email, new questions get a new blog post, questions that have already been answered get added to the post that’s already written, and we do a monthly digest of the questions we’ve answered that month.
Then began a ride that I supported Sarah on in accredited training eventuating in Sarah buying her own RTO in 2020, just a few hours before a little global pandemic set in. that RTO is now named Celebrant Institute RTO and I'm really proud of the training Sarah delivers there. I talk to new or aspiring celebrants every week and our students are smarter, better-prepared, and far more likely to graduate and become celebrants. Sarah runs a great ship over there.
What are we?
I shared an idea with Sarah towards the end of last year and again this week and she (rightly) canned the idea because it's not what we do and I think in a world and economy where things are changing more than they ever have, we can benefit from people who are experts, passionates, about their thing. People that are narrowly focused on single issue.
What's ours?
We give no-bullshit, honest, helpful, contextual, correct answers to questions celebrants have, or should have. In support of that we share the answers here on the blog and in a monthly email, plus we make a podcast when we have something to say. If we don't have something to say, we don't say anything so as to not add to the noise. If we don't know an answer, we'll be honest about it and endeavour to find out.
We interface with the Attorney-General's Department and BDMs on your behalf, and we advocate for modern, useful, fresh, and helpful marriage laws and regulations.
We charge a monthly subscription fee to ask those questions and read the blog posts.
Do we have a Facebook group where you can ask a question, get ten wrong answers, then have the fight for the right answer? No.
Do we have insurances? No. (We recommend Duck For Cover but you can also do your own research)
Do we do this for free? No, I wouldn't hire a free business coach/mentor or a free security guard. If something is worth something, you pay for it.
Do we make you vote in AGMs or attend meetings? No, it's just Sarah and I running a for-profit company (Celebrant Institute Pty Ltd), slogging away at the forefront of celebrancy, trying our little hearts out to make a better world for you, us, and the people that aren't even celebrants yet.
We're so glad to have been doing this in some small way or another for a decade now, and we're so glad you're here.
I'll no doubt write something similar on the respective anniversaries of everything else we've done, but on this Saturday morning as I prep for a wedding, I wanted to say thanks to Airdy for being my mate, and I'm really glad that we have had the chance to answer questions for hundreds of celebrants; lead OPD , workshops and seminars for thousands of you; and to write a monthly email and publish a podcast for tens of thousands of you.
And if you want to run, attend, join a celebrant community or online group, go for it, just come to us for the legal and business help, and you guys do the coffee and the catch-ups.
### Marriage statistics 2023
It's marriage statistics release day, somehow three and a half months ahead of schedule! For as many years as I've been paying attention to them, the marriage statistics have been released at the end of November or early December. I got my usual daily email from the Australian Bureau of Statistics today, outlining what had been released, and I had to look at it several times to make sure it really did say Marriages and Divorces! Phew, what a moment for this little nerd!
So now that I've recovered from the unexpected release, here's my annual rundown of the marriage statistics for 2023.
Number of marriages
As expected, the number of marriages registered in 2023 dropped from the record high we saw in 2022, which was all the catching up after COVID postponements. 2023 saw 118,439 marriage registered, 6.9% fewer than 2022. The numbers were still well above the record lows we saw during the pandemic lockdown years of 2020 and 2021. I don't think we've quite settled into a new normal yet, especially with the downturn we've seen in 2024 with the cost of living crisis etc, but we're definitely heading back to more "normal" numbers.
As I did last year, I'm posting this graph because pictures are often more useful than words in these situations. Check out that COVID dip, the extreme recovery of 2022, and the drop again in 2023.
Gender
I am LOVING the info we now have on gender in marriages. Last year was the first year we had some numbers on marriages including at least one person identifying as non-binary, due to the release of the new marriage documentation in September 2021. In 2022 there were 159 marriages that involved at least one non-binary person. In 2023, that number has jumped to 204.
However, marriages of two partners identifying as male were down a bit (1767 to 1735), marriages of two partners identifying as female were down a bit (2667 to 2619). Therefore total marriages involving the same gender or at least one non-binary person were down a tiny bit overall (4593 to 4558).
I've written on my own blog about my interest in these growing statistics on non-binary people getting married, and whether this tells us something about more common usage of this gender identity in the general population. I'm not a researcher, but I think it's an interesting question.
Age
The age people get married at continues to climb ever so slightly: 32.9 was the median age for men to marry (as opposed to 32.5 years in 2022), and 31.2 was the median age for women to marry (against 30.9 years in 2022).
Location
As expected, there were fewer marriages in every state and territory than 2022, except for South Australia and Western Australia. For some completely unknown reason, marriage in both those states was not only higher than in 2022, but higher than 2019, pre-pandemic!
WA saw 16.8% more marriages in 2023 than 2022, and 12.5% more marriages than in 2019. SA saw 7.1% more marriages in 2023 than 2022, and 9.3% more than in 2019. Any WA or SA celebrants want to make a comment as to why they think this happened??
The ACT saw the largest decline in marriages (14.1% fewer than 2022), NSW (13.2% fewer), and Tassie (11.2% fewer).
Vic, QLD, Tassie, and the ACT, despite recording fewer marriages in 2023 than in 2022, all recorded more marriages than in 2019, pre-COVID. As with WA and SA, I'm pretty surprised by that. Only NT and NSW recorded fewer marriages in 2023 than in 2019.
As I said last year and above, I don't think this is the end of the rebalancing of marriage numbers. We may need to wait another few years to see what happens next.
Source: Australian Bureau of Statistics, Marriages and Divorces, Australia 2022
Date
Marriage dates were back to the patterns we used to see prior to COVID-19: peak marriage numbers occur in Spring and Autumn, and lower numbers in Winter, and at Easter and Christmas.
The most popular day for marriage in 2023 was 11/11/2023 - it's always handy when the matching numbers fall on the weekend! There were 1799 marriages that day, 85 more than the 1714 marriages that fell on 25/3/2023.
Here's a pretty graph showing those lovely Autum and Spring peaks, with rather dramatic drops for Easter and Christmas:
Divorces
We were back to more usual numbers of divorces with 48,700 finalised in 2023, down 1.1% from the 49,241 granted in 2022. Again, no huge jumps as may have been expected coming out of the COVID era; continue to watch this space.
Decreased statistics
From last year, the ABS has decreased the number of statistics they're releasing on marriage and divorce. This means we no longer have information on things like the split between civil and religious marriages, whether this is people's second marriage, where people were born (overseas or in Australia). I'm kind of pissed about it, but shy of spending a minimum of $600 (and probably much more) to get more specific questions answered, we're going to have to make do with what we've got.
So that's my overview of the 2023 marriage and divorce statistics. Let me know if you have any other questions you'd like me to look into!
### The best modern SEO strategy for Australian wedding celebrants
If you're a wedding celebrant looking to improve your online presence and attract more couples, here’s a straightforward SEO content strategy you can use to make your website more visible on Google and Bing. If things are quiet through winter, this is a great strategy to unload on your website in preparation for the Christmas/New Year enquiry season.
1. Focus on Content that Matches What Couples Are Searching For
Create Content for People Ready to Book: Start with blog posts or pages that directly address what couples are looking for when they’re ready to book a celebrant. This might include titles like “Best Wedding Celebrants in [Your Area]” or “How to Choose the Right Wedding Celebrant.” These types of posts are crucial because they attract people who are ready to take action, like booking a consultation or asking for more information.
Educational Content for Couples Researching: Next, create helpful, informative content that answers common questions couples have as they plan their wedding. Posts like “How to Write Your Wedding Vows” or “Top Wedding Ceremony Ideas” will draw in couples who are in the research phase and help establish you as an expert in the field.
2. Build Authority with Linkable Content
Create Content Others Want to Share: Develop resources that other wedding-related websites would want to link to. For example, you could create a comprehensive guide on “The Legal Steps to Getting Married in [Your Area],” which local wedding planners or venues might reference. This kind of content increases your website’s authority in Google’s eyes, making it more likely your site will rank higher in search results.
3. Use a Content Funnel to Guide Couples
Guide Visitors from Research to Booking: Think of your website like a funnel. Start by attracting visitors with broad, helpful content (like the vow-writing guides), and then guide them towards content that encourages them to take action (like booking a consultation). Make sure every piece of content on your site is connected, so visitors naturally move from one page to the next, getting closer to booking your services.
4. Optimise for Local Searches
Target Your Local Area: Since weddings are local, make sure your content mentions your specific service areas frequently. Use phrases like “Wedding Celebrant in [Your City]” throughout your site to help Google know exactly where you work, which will help you show up in searches from couples in your area.
5. Keep It Simple and Consistent
Regularly Update and Add Content: Google favours websites that are active and continually provide fresh content. Make a schedule to regularly post new blogs, update old ones, and keep your site dynamic. This steady flow of content signals to Google that your site is active and should be recommended to users.
By following these steps, you’ll gradually build a strong online presence that attracts more couples to your wedding celebrant services. It’s all about being helpful, consistent, and making sure your content speaks directly to the needs of your potential clients.
### Instagram Mythbusters for Insights Members
This week members can rewatch the webinar recording of Josh Withers and Edwin from The Social Sandwich with their 90 minute Instagram Mythbusters webinar on organic growth and attracting couples through Instagram.
https://vimeo.com/975155523
### Where should I advertise as a celebrant?
Amanda asks about social media and marketing:
Hi, I’ve been registered since March 2024. Initially, I was lucky to secure four bookings relatively quickly, but lately, it’s been super quiet. I’m attempting to navigating the world of advertising and could use some guidance on the most effective approach with a pretty small budget. I’m on social media, have a website, and have undertaken some paid advertising, but I’m very unsure about the best way to go in this industry moving forward, seem to have lots of money going out with little reward. Some people have suggested focusing solely on social media, others recommending Google Ads or partnering with larger businesses. Yes I know I need to be patient but I would appreciate some advice for a newbie please?
Hi Amanda, welcome to the team, we’re so glad you’re here! You've tapped onto one of my favourite conversations, I've been writing about starting as a celebrant for close to a decade! I'll share some truths and then explain what I’m doing.
Most business advice is like winning the lotto. If I won the lotto and gave you my winning numbers, they’re unlikely to win again. It equates to “I made this decision and got this result” without considering environmental context and pure luck. Listen to others’ stories, but look for the underlying strategies, not just the winning lotto numbers.
Secondly, the wedding industry is in a weird place right now. Years from now, you’ll be the lucky one who can say you started in the valley and climbed to the peak with the rest of us. Covid and the 2020-2023 era was strange for the wedding industry. Weddings involve gathering people together, often from different places—things that were hard, frowned upon, or avoided for almost four years. Additionally, the regular cadence of people meeting, progressing into relationships, engagements, and then marriages was disrupted in 2020/2021. This disruption means fewer people are getting married now. On top of that, the cost of living with inflation and interest rates means spending isn’t like it used to be.
A third point I learned in commercial radio is that a big portion of advertising isn't meant to generate revenue or build brand equity. A lot of advertising is paid for to make the business, business owners, and marketing team feel good. Many wedding businesses love to be featured on specific websites or directories, but little comes from it. I know wedding businesses spending thousands annually to be on certain websites or magazines simply to be known as a business on that platform, which is wild to me.
Finally, much wedding social media created by wedding vendors and celebrants is purposeless—it’s just noise in an already noisy room. Remember, social media isn’t advertising; it’s marketing. Our goal there is the engage with couples, help them, entertain them, inspire them, love them.
Advertising aims to convince people to transact with you now or soon. Marketing is about brand awareness and strength so that when people are ready to transact, they choose you without shopping around. My goal is to pull those two levers as needed but always be marketing. When done well, you never need to advertise—at least in my humble opinion.
An old business adage states you can hold one of three positions in a marketplace—cheapest, best, or first. The marketplace is defined by you and ratified by the real world. It can be a geographic area—dominating a city might be hard, but your local area could be easier. It can also be a theme or type. Identify where you can bring the most value to a community and be the best there. If you can build workflows and efficiencies to be the cheapest while still profiting, you can try that as well.
On price, I encourage celebrants to raise their prices because we do important and valuable work in our communities and deserve a good wage.
However, when I started 15 years ago, I charged very little because I delivered very little value. My price matched the value I brought. When I did my first wedding expo 12 years ago, I offered $550 wedding ceremonies and would MC for free if booked that week. It was a roaring success. I credit my business success today to that small start where I learned so much from doing many weddings at a low rate.
Today, I charge $1800, and if the economy was in a better place and I wasn't trying to break into the Tasmanian market, I’d charge more, purely because I know how much my business costs to run today and what kind of wage I'd like to earn. I share to reinforce that price should match the value you bring. If you want to charge more, bring more value.
So what am I doing today? I’m playing the long game and working hard at delivering immense value through my social media. This way, if new people find me, there is value waiting for them, and for my existing community, I continually deliver value.
As for advertising or building new business, I focus on:
Attention arbitrage
The 2024 version of search optimisation
Product
Attention Arbitrage
Where is everyone’s attention? Which website, blog, network, or app are my people focusing on? That’s where I want to be marketing and advertising. Personally, I think many wedding blogs, magazines, and directories don’t have anyone’s attention anymore. I'm spending money, time, content creation, effort, and community building (aka replying and commenting) in the areas where my couples have attention today.
Here's a good book on the topic
2024 Search Optimisation
SEO in 2024 is about more than just search engines; it’s about being found where people are looking. People Google, but they also ask AI chatbots, use Snapchat, YouTube, and Instagram. I’m working hard to understand how people search and how to be found there. Have you asked ChatGPT who the best celebrant in Coffs Harbour is? Then ask it how it knows that. I reverse-engineer search results to understand how to get listed.
Read this chat log from ChatGPT
Product
The world is forever changing. The Australian civil marriage celebrant role is revolutionary worldwide, with over 80% of all weddings and many funerals. The wedding industry continues to evolve. I keep my ear to the ground, research, engage on social networks, and read articles to understand what people want in a celebrant today and how I can match my skills to market needs. For example, on your website, you mention naming ceremonies, milestone, and celebration of life ceremonies. I’d be curious how many of those ceremonies were booked in Australia last year. I’d bet $100 it’s less than ten.
Focus on what you do best, find your product niche, own it, excel, and make it yours. Let your website showcase your product expertise and value until you’re making a good income. Then, expand to other things you’re passionate about and enjoy.
Professional people wanting to make celebrancy their professional income get other professionals to help them with this work, so hiring a photographer, website designer, marketing and social media consultant and others will almost always be a better spend than advertising in a wedding magazine, particularly while you're young in business.
It doesn't matter what you and the rest of the industry think - the people paying the invoices have the final say on what is being bought and booked, look to them for inspiration and for you to lead them
I'd also be remiss to not plug our upcoming Instagram mythbusting webinar for you and all celebrants wanting to actually understand how to win on Instagram.
### Instagram mythbusting for wedding creators
Are you ready to take your Instagram game to the next level? Re-watch the recording of the online event, the Instagram Mythbusters event, featuring the incredible Edwin Smith from The Social Sandwich and hosted by me (Josh Withers).
Webinar information and tickets
Event Details:
Date: Wednesday, 3rd July 2024
Time: 7 PM AEST
Location: Zoom webinar, link to be provided after ticket purchase.
Recorded webinar
What to Expect
Myth Busting: We'll debunk common Instagram myths and reveal the truth about hashtags, the best posting times, and the power of Reels versus Stories.
Expert Insights: Edwin, renowned for his work with top TV shows and brands, will share his strategies for organic social media growth.
Practical Advice: Learn how to create compelling content and effectively use Instagram to boost your wedding celebrant or wedding creation business.
Why You Should Attend
Edwin's expertise in social media is unmatched, with a portfolio including The Voice, Love Island, and more. This is a rare opportunity to get direct truth about how Instagram works along with advice from one of the industry's best.
Tickets:
General ticket: $40
Celebrant Institute Members: $20 (become a member for $12 today)
Webinar information and tickets
### Celebrants must have separate meetings with each party to marriage before the wedding
Webinar on this topic: $10 to watch on demand webinars to learn about the new marriage law changes.
From 12 June 2024, all authorised marriage celebrants must meet with each party separately and in person before solemnising a marriage to ensure real consent is given voluntarily and without coercion.
Here's the direct information given by the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Attorney-General's Department to us this week.
Separate Meetings – Your obligations under the Marriage Act 1961
From 12 June 2024 all authorised marriage celebrants are required under the Marriage Act 1961 (the Marriage Act) to meet with each party to the marriage separately and in person before they solemnise the marriage.
This applies to all legal marriages and all authorised celebrants, including Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants, ministers of religion of a recognised denomination and State and Territory officials authorised to solemnise marriage.
Why?
Real consent is the cornerstone of the Marriage Act.
As has always been the case, you – as an authorised marriage celebrant – must be satisfied that each party to the marriage is providing real consent before the marriage is solemnised. This obligation has not changed.
A court may find a marriage to be void where the consent of either of the parties is not real consent.
Under the Marriage Act 1961, a person’s consent to a marriage is not real consent if:
it was obtained by duress or fraud
a party is mistaken as to the identity of the other party or the nature of the ceremony performed, or
a party does not have mental capacity to understand the nature and effect of the marriage ceremony.
‘Duress’ may include coercion or threats including psychological or emotional pressure.
A separate meeting with a party to establish real consent is not new, and has been a long-standing principle in The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants where any concerns existed about consent.[1]
A separate meeting in person with each party to the marriage before the marriage is solemnised is intended to maintain safeguards for establishing real consent.
Celebrants should be aware that it is an offence to cause another person to enter into a forced marriage.[2]
When?
A separate meeting with each party must take place before a marriage is solemnised, regardless of when the NOIM was received (unless you have already met separately with each party to establish real consent).
If the NOIM has been transferred to a new celebrant, the new celebrant must also meet separately with each party. This is necessary because the celebrant who solemnises the marriage must comply personally with all legal requirements.
The timing and duration of a separate meeting with each party is at the discretion of the celebrant and the marrying couple, provided it takes place before the marriage is solemnised. Suggested opportunities may include:
a convenient time after receiving the NOIM
when signing the Declaration of No Legal Impediment, or
on the day of the wedding.
If you have any concerns about consent at any stage you should meet with the parties separately and at the earliest opportunity. Meeting in advance of the wedding day will assist the celebrant to manage any concerns about real consent appropriately.
Real consent may change over time and celebrants should exercise sound judgement about whether or not to solemnise a marriage.
Circumstances may arise on the day of the wedding that may impact on real consent. For example, if either of the parties appear intoxicated or otherwise unable to provide real consent at that time, or for any other reason including medical issues.
Where and How?
A separate meeting provides you with an opportunity to check in with each party to establish if they are entering into the marriage voluntarily and freely, and with an understanding of the binding legal nature of marriage. This involves the type of discussions you would already be familiar with in your role as an authorised celebrant.
There is no specific set of questions or words you need to use to satisfy yourself about real consent. Open-ended questions often allow the party to express how they feel about their upcoming wedding.
A separate meeting needs to take place in the absence of the other party to the marriage. You need to speak in person and separately with each party – but this does not mean you have to meet alone with the party. The party may choose to bring a trusted person.
For privacy and safety reasons, do not contact third parties such as family members, interpreters etc, without the express consent of the party.
Separate meetings are to take place in a culturally appropriate context and in line with the preferences of the party, including as to the location of the meeting. It can be a public setting provided the privacy of the conversation can be maintained. This could be a public space agreed to by the party, such as a coffee shop or similar venue.
If another person attends the meeting with a party, the celebrant should have regard to whether their presence appears to be coercive and take this into account in their decision whether or not to solemnise the marriage. You should not say anything that may expose the party to risk. Instead, consider following-up with the party by telephone if you have concerns.
Remember other people may read your emails, text messages or written communications, or may listen to your voice messages. If you need assistance about how to proceed you should contact the expert support services listed below.
It is recommended the celebrant should keep a record of the meetings, who was present, the factors you considered and the conclusion you reached on the question of real consent. This means if any questions arise at a later date you have a record of your decision-making process. This is important because celebrants may be called upon to give evidence in court as to the consent of the parties.
As has always been the case, if you have any concerns whatsoever about real consent and consequent validity of a marriage, either before or on the day, you should not solemnise the marriage. You may consider offering a non-binding commitment ceremony and later solemnisation, depending on circumstances.
Please note: It is important that you always act in the best interests of a party who may be at risk, by being mindful of their safety as well as your own.
The following additional resources are available to support authorised celebrants and vulnerable parties.
Resources
What are the signs of a forced marriage?
The crime of forced marriage not only applies to legally recognised marriages but to cultural or religious ceremonies and registered relationships.
If someone is in, or at risk of a forced marriage, they may find it hard to tell someone about their situation.
A combination of the following signs may indicate that a person is in a forced marriage, or at risk of being made to enter into a forced marriage. Some of these signs may not be immediately obvious to an authorised celebrant but could provide a guide about the kinds of questions to ask the couple (or the person).
Have a family history of elder siblings leaving education early, marrying early or indicating concerns of an early marriage
Exhibit signs of depression, self–harm, attempted suicide, panic attacks, social isolation or substance abuse
Have high level of control and restrictions exercised by family / community members over all aspects of life in and outside of the home e.g. surveillance, always accompanied, limited or no control of finances, limited or no control over life decisions, education and career choices
Have communications monitored or restricted
Show evidence of family or domestic violence within the family unit
Show evidence of running away from home or isolation from the community
Express concern regarding an upcoming family holiday or overseas travel
Make a sudden announcement they are engaged
Express feelings of shame or dishonour on the family if family / community expectations are not met
Show evidence of economic or dowry abuse including:
Family members or others seeking to gain financially from a proposed marriage or engagement
Ongoing demands for cash or material goods
Threats made when financial obligations or arrangements are not met
Demonstrate feelings of conflict or concern for the ramifications if they do not go ahead with an agreed marriage / engagement
Have intergenerational and cultural conflict within the home
Express concern of physical or psychological violence for not fulfilling family / community expectations.
Arranged marriages are different to forced marriages. While an arranged marriage involves the spouse being introduced by a third party or family member, it requires the consent of both parties, who can agree or refuse to marry. The Marriage Act does not prevent a person from consenting to marry another person that they have not met prior to the marriage ceremony.
How can I help a person at risk of forced marriage to stay safe?
It is important that you always act in the best interests of a person at risk of a forced marriage, by being mindful of their safety as well as your own.
If an authorised celebrant forms a view that one of the parties may be under duress or otherwise not freely and fully consenting, they should attempt to discuss the matter with the party concerned in the absence of the other party or any family members to determine whether they consent to the marriage.
When seeking assistance, you can help protect a person at risk of a forced marriage, and yourself, by:
dialling Triple Zero (000) if you have immediate concerns for your safety, the safety of another person, or there is an emergency
contacting the AFP or a specialist community organisation
ensuring you do not attempt to set up a meeting with the person and their family or community members to discuss the situation, or contact family or community members, if you do not have the express permission of the person
remembering that other people may read your emails, text messages or other written communications
providing the party with information about forced marriage and services that can help them
meeting in a safe and private place, and
if using an interpreter to communicate with a person suspected to be at risk of forced marriage, consider that the interpreter may know the person, their family or their community.
For more information on forced marriage see the ‘People smuggling and human trafficking’ page of the Attorney-General’s Department website.
Seek assistance
Marriage celebrants may wish to download fact sheets or the small fold away booklets so that they can be provided to the person suspected to be at risk of forced marriage, if it is safe to do so. It is important to refer the person to the right place where they can get appropriate advice and assistance. Care should be taken to ensure that the person suspected to be at risk is not put in danger.
The Australian Federal Police (AFP) can provide initial advice to people who are in, or at risk of a forced marriage, including where a person needs help to make sure he or she won’t be taken overseas. The AFP can also refer victims for support, including safe accommodation, financial support, legal advice and counselling.
Initial support is available for victims even where they don’t want to assist with an investigation or prosecution. In cases where the victim is a child, the AFP will always act in their best interests.
You can also provide anonymous information about criminal activity to Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 orwww.crimestoppers.com.au.
My Blue Sky is an easy to use, non-government website dedicated to preventing and addressing forced marriage in Australia. The website provides people in, or at risk of, forced marriage with important information and links to support services, as well as useful resources for frontline responders, service providers and the general community.
For free, confidential legal advice about forced marriage, you can call My Blue Sky’s national forced marriage helpline on (02) 9514 8115. The My Blue Sky helpline operates Monday to Friday between 9am and 5pm AEST), with an out of hours recorded message. You can also get help by emailing help@mybluesky.org.au or sending an SMS to 0481 070 844.
The National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service is a free 24/7 confidential telephone and online counselling service, staffed by professional counsellors to assist any person who has experienced, or is at risk of family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. You can call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or visit the National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Service website.
The following specialist community organisations may also be able to provide help and advice:
Anti-Slavery Australia
Tel: 02 9514 9662 Email: antislavery@uts.edu.au
Australian Muslim Women’s Centre for Human Rights
Tel: 03 9481 3000
The Freedom Partnership—Salvation Army
Tel: 02 9211 5794 Email: endslavery@aue.salvationarmy.org.au
You may also wish to seek advice from the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia: see Family violence: Overview | Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (fcfcoa.gov.au), or a family solicitor at your closest Legal Aid office.
The Translating and Interpreting Service (TIS National) can be contacted on 131 450.
### NOIM Remote Witnessing has been made law
Webinar on this topic: $10 to watch on demand webinars to learn about the new marriage law changes.
As of today remote witnessing of the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) is made permanent by Commonwealth law.
Remote witnessing of the NOIM is law
It's finally happened! After many months and a LOT of work, remote witnessing has been made permanent by the Royal Assent of the Attorney-General's Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill 2023. As of today, all Commonwealth Marriage Celebrants can once again witness signatures on the Notice of Intended Marriage via Zoom or other video conferencing platforms like FaceTime, Google Meet, Skype, WebEx, and others.
Celebrant Talk Show Podcast
Listen to the podcast
But there's more
That's not the only change this legislation has created.
There are other changes, some of which will significantly impact the way we work and Sarah has written about them before.
Webinar to learn about new changes to the Marriage Act
If you want to hear Sarah Aird discuss the changes to the Marriage Act including the remote witnessing, the separate meetings now required, and to explain how they'll work in practice, come along to one of the Zoom webinar sessions the Celebrant Institute is running:
💻 Webinar details
The webinars have been recorded and are available to watch on demand for $10 through the webinar ticket below.
Dates: Thursday 13th and Tuesday 18th of June 2024
Cost: $10
🎟️ Buy webinar ticket
Official note from the Marriage Celebrants Section of the Attorney-General’s Department:
Notice of amendments to the Marriage Act - Attorney-General’s Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Act 2024
We write to you with an important update. Over the past months, the Australian Government has been progressing a bill before parliament to update, clarify, and improve the intended operation of legislation administered by the Attorney-General, including the Marriage Act 1961. The changes seek to clarify and improve the operation of the Marriage Celebrants Program and include a new requirement for celebrants to meet separately and in person to ensure safeguards for real consent to a marriage are maintained, and the ability to witness the signing of NOIMs in Australia on line.
The Attorney-General’s Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill 2023 received Royal Assent on 11 June 2024 and becomes law on 12 June 2024.
The changes to the Marriage Act are summarised below.
Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to email marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au with the subject name ‘MARRIAGE ACT ENQUIRY’.
Yours sincerely
Marriage Law and Celebrants section
Attorney-General’s department
Summary of upcoming amendments to the Marriage Act
Remote witnessing
The Marriage Act will be amended to permanently provide couples with the option to have their Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) witnessed remotely, via audio-visual link, as well as in person.
NOTE: The requirements for authorised witnesses will remain unchanged and location-dependent. If the couple is in Australia then the person remotely witnessing the NOIM (which can include an authorised celebrant) must also be in Australia. If the couple is outside Australia, the authorised witness (which cannot be a celebrant) must also be outside Australia. To be clear, you cannot witness online a NOIM for a person or couple outside Australia.
Separate Meetings
The Marriage Act will require an authorised celebrant to meet separately and in person with each party to the marriage before the marriage is solemnised. The purpose of the meeting is to ensure that each party is freely and voluntarily consenting to the marriage.
A separate meeting needs to occur in the absence of the other party to the marriage and in a culturally safe environment – but this does not mean you need to meet alone with a party. Other persons can attend with the party’s permission.
The timing of the separate meetings is at the discretion of the celebrant and the couple. It can occur at any time up to and including the day of the marriage, providing it occurs before the marriage is solemnised. Additional guidance material will be provided to assist you to meet these requirements.
Evidence of date and place of birth
The amendments re-order the acceptable evidence of date and place of birth under paragraph 42(1)(b) of the Marriage Act. They clarify that where it is impracticable (practically impossible) for the party to the marriage to obtain a certificate or official extract of an entry in an official register and they do not have a passport, only then should they rely on a statutory declaration to declare to the best of their knowledge, their date and place of birth.
The term impracticable does not mean inconvenient. For example, it is not impracticable for a person born in Australia to apply to the state or territory Registries of Births, Deaths and Marriages for a copy of their birth certificate, or except in special circumstances, for overseas born persons to apply to the appropriate authorities in their country of birth.
Transfer of the NOIM
The amendments also clarify the circumstances when a NOIM can be transferred to another authorised celebrant include at the request of the marrying couple. This is in addition to transfers due to the death, absence or illness of the celebrant or where it is otherwise impracticable for a celebrant to solemnise the marriage.
Other measures
Other amendments include:
the introduction of deputy registrars for the Marriage Celebrants Program
extending the timeframes for considering an application for registration as an authorised celebrant
providing for the refund of the application fee only if an applicant does not have the requisite qualification or skills referred to in the Marriage Act
clarifying that a celebrant must be physically present to solemnise a marriage, together with the parties and 2 witnesses and
confirming that a celebrant can only be registered or authorised under one subdivision of the Marriage Act at a time (this applies only if the person’s application is received after the commencement of Schedule 3, Part 7 ie, 28 days after the Act receives Royal Assent).
Questions
The Marriage Law and Celebrants Section is available to assist you with any questions you may have about these amendments.
If you have received this transmission in error please notify us immediately by return e-mail and delete all copies. If this e-mail or any attachments have been sent to you in error, that error does not constitute waiver of any confidentiality, privilege or copyright in respect of information in the e-mail or attachments.
Celebrant Talk Show Podcast
Links to your favourite podcast player and app are all available on the podcast website.
Transcript
Welcome to the only podcast, probably in the known universe, that will utter the words today, Attorney General's Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill, 2023. My name is Josh Withers, joined today by Sarah Aird. You're listening to the Celebrant Talk Show and we are here to bring what I can only consider, looking over all of our notes and all of our preparation we've been preparing this for quite a long time. This will be just a banger of a podcast episode, full of excitement and joy. And if you are sitting down, may I suggest holding onto your seat. If you're not sitting down, perhaps find a seat. And if you're driving, can I ask you to engage, adapt to the cruise control for your safety please. Sarah, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you, Josh. That was quite an introduction. This is not gonna be the only podcast to mention that there was an event.
No one else is like today. No one else is saying those words.
Today, today that is correct.
Mammia is not covering this.
Today, however, I am already pre-booked to talk about this when it goes through, so, you know, on another podcast. So there will be another podcast that discusses it, just not today, that's fair. I'll accept that. Yeah.
Yeah, all right. Yeah, so this is a podcast. Look, I'm just gonna put some clarification in there. We're recording this ahead of this bill, receiving Royal Assent. We're gonna release the podcast when the bill has received Royal Assent because we want there to be clear communication about what is and isn't. So we're recording this on 12th of June. And we're talking about, as I've already teased the exciting title, Attorney-General's Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill 2023. In particular today, we're talking about the tantalizing, I mean, I'm thrilling the section on it that is all about amending the marriage act, the schedule three. Sarah, can I take you through schedule three? Can I say things that are written on paper and then you reply with intelligent definitions and understandings of what those things on paper mean?
Well, before we do that, I would just like to give a very brief overview of kind of how long this has taken.
Yeah, I was going through it through my-
To where we are, because it's quite ridiculous. This bill was first discussed with the Associations and Networks Group back in October last year. The Marriage Law and Celebrant section contacted us for a teleconference and said, look, this bill's about to go to parliament. We just wanna check if you've got any dramas with it. It went to the House of Reps on the 15th of November, 2023. It was, that was the first reading debate. Second reading debate was on the 28th of November. It was then referred to the Federation Chamber who referred it to a Senate committee. That committee, we were the only celebrant association to put in a submission. That committee reported on the 1st of February this year that report went to the House of Reps on the 7th of February. The House of Reps went, yeah, okay, we're happy. Send it to the Senate. The Senate introduced the bill on the 8th of February and then they didn't get back to it until the 16th of May, despite me watching the Senate live for many days, because of course they knew that I was watching it live waiting for them to get to this bill. And they specifically ignored it just so that I would have to suffer through more live days of the Senate.
Just imagine all the money that Netflix lost by not having you for those hours.
So they got to it on the 16th of May and basically the Senate kind of went, oh, we've got a whole lot of things we've got to get to, let's just do it. And then it went back to the House of Reps because there was one small amendment and it just had to be agreed to. And the House of Reps agreed to that on the 28th of May. So it has, we've been waiting since the 28th of May for it to get Royal Assent. That process can take 24 hours as it did when marriage equality was passed. Royal Assent was granted in less than 24 hours after it was passed by both houses. Or it can take several weeks, which is what we're seeing now. So we're just waiting. Josh and I literally just Googled where is the Governor General right now? Why is he not signing bills? (laughs)
I think he's in England. From the best I can see on his Instagram today, it looks like he's in England, or he's at least in the European continent.
So who knows? But the day after the bill is granted Royal Assent, that's when it will come into force and we have to start doing the things that are in the bill. So this podcast episode that we're recording on the 12th of June will be released on the, as soon as we are aware that it has been granted Royal Assent and we have dates for it being in force. So, I mean, that could be tomorrow or it could be in two or three weeks. Who fricking knows? Nobody.
Yeah, just a little bit of a peek behind the curtains. So today on the 12th of June, I've just flown, well, yesterday I flew from Fiji to Sydney. I had a wedding in Fiji and now I'm off to Sicily. No direct flights, Sarah, if you're wondering, none. It's a multitude of flights from Fiji to Sicily and that involves me being in Sydney for the day. But with all of this, with all the planning around, letting everyone know about the marriage law changes, we've scheduled up, we've drafted, we've got all these things waiting in the ranks because it's, what's gonna happen, this is just Murphy's Law, is that the second I get on a plane, that's when it will happen. And so after Sarah will get on there and release everything, but we've got a webinar planned to let everyone kind of go a little bit deeper on some of the understandings and blog posts and emails. If you don't get our monthly email, and also there's sometimes middle of the month emails if there's something really big, go to mail.celebrant.institute to subscribe, that's free. And the big kind of, I suppose, public information regarding this, we're gonna publish all on our website, celebrate.institute, free for everyone to view. And if there's deeper kind of, I guess, analysis or help that we can put in there, that'll be made available to members and membership starts at $12 a month. And look, while I'm talking as well, you'll probably find when you go to celebrate.institute, we've also launched a webinar on myth-busting Instagram. So if that's something you're interested in, check that out. But I think, is that all the housekeeping we need to get through before we start?
Well and truly.
All right, cool. Oh, it's one more thing, be good to your mother. Okay, schedule three. Schedule three, Amendment of the Marriage Act in 1961, part Unu number one, deputy registrars of marriage celebrants. Is all of this boring and it's just, is about marriage, the marriage law and celebrant section of the AGD?
Yeah, look a little bit. I think it's quite useful for people to be aware of because, so basically what's happening is that a deputy registrar position is being created. So what that means is that right now, there's a legislative position, which is the registrar of marriage celebrants. And that person has a lot of responsibility. So some of those responsibilities are now going to be able to be delegated to deputy registrars. That's the headline, yeah.
So number two, it goes on to talk about that. I'm gonna keep on scrolling 'cause I don't wanna spend all day boring people to death. We get to section four, we're still omitting things. Okay, subsection five. What is omit three months, substitute six months.
Okay, right, yes. Yeah, you're not looking at the headings, you're looking at the actual changes to the act. It's all good though.
I totally understand. Timeframes for considering application for registration as an author of celebrant. So we're gonna omit three months, substitute six months. What does that mean?
So currently the legislation says that when you apply to become a celebrant, the marriage law and celebrant section has to make a decision within three months. If they haven't made a decision within three months, your application is deemed to have been rejected. They are changing that to six months, not because they plan to extend the period of assessment to six months for everybody, but for some special circumstances where by no fault of their own, a celebrant application takes longer than three months. So they don't have to start again, we're changing it to six months.
Okay, part three, refund or registration application fee.
So this is when you apply to become a celebrant, you have to pay a fee. Currently it's $400. It has been $600 in the past, but right now it's $400. There are approximately half a dozen applications a year by people who are not able to become celebrants because they don't, usually because they don't hold the qualification. So they've managed to fill in an application form and go through the whole process and pay the fee, but they don't actually have a cert four or any of the other qualifications. So they can't be a celebrant. Generally it's because they've got mental health issues or something else. And so at the moment, there's no way for their fee to be refunded, even though they don't meet the basic requirements and the marriage law and celebrant section feels bad about that. So now they'll be able to refund those fees for people whose applications don't meet those very basic requirements.
Now that's a quattro, a celebrant to be physically present at marriage. Do we have to turn up? Is this a thing?
I know. (laughing)
No one told me.
This is just making it super clear that when we say that a marriage must be solemnised in the presence of an authorised celebrant and two witnesses, that means physical presence. Because the word physical doesn't currently appear in the act. A lot of people have said, "Oh, but you could be electronic presence." No, you can't. So the word physical is being put in the act. So that a marriage must be solanized in the physical presence of an authorised celebrant and two witnesses.
And side note on that, we've just got current little things that we're talking about about, like what does marriage look like in say 2050? I don't know, years from now, does it happen online? So that's a conversation very, very stupidly early, very small, and it's amongst other things. But yeah, that's just conversations we have at the celebrant associations and networks meetings in Canberra. That we have. Number five, identity requirements.
This one's a bit sort of arbitrary. It kind of, it's just kind of, oh, it's changing the order of the evidence of date and place of birth in the act. Because at the moment it says that you can produce a birth certificate, or you can produce a stat deck if they can't get a birth certificate, or they can produce a passport. So it's just going to strengthen that to say, or like to clarify that it's like the passport thing is above the stat deck thing. So you can produce a stat deck if you can't get a birth certificate, and if you don't have a passport. It's just changing the order a little bit. It doesn't actually change the way we do our work. So don't worry too much about it. It's not a total, much of an issue for us. Still the same rules apply. You have to either see a birth certificate or a passport for evidence of date and place of birth. If they can't get a birth certificate and they don't have a passport, you can get stat deck instead. Yes.
Part six. This is the big one. I'm going to split this in half, two halves, because one of those two halves taught in my opinion. And I'm going to read part six, section 35, paragraph 42, part 2C. So when talking about the notice of intended marriage with the law, the bill is going to amend in the marriage act that will omit the, in the presence of, sign the notice of intended presence of, and substitute for under the observation, whether or not by means of a facility that enables audio and visual communication between persons in different places. And the people must be in Australia. So I was kind of getting a little freestyle at the end there. But part six, the first half, we're doing audio and visual communication between persons in different places, Sarah.
So this is the big one. This is the one we've all been waiting for. It is remote communication. It is remote witnessing of the notice of intended marriage. This is what a lot of celebrants think this entire bill is about. They don't realise that there's a whole bunch of other things in there. So this is the big one. We will once again be able to witness notices, witness people signing the notice of intended marriage by Zoom, FaceTime, Skype. Is anybody still using Skype? Whatever you want. You, as long as that person is in Australia and you are in Australia. If a person is overseas, they can also use this video conferencing facility for witnessing snitches with an overseas witness.
I'm gonna jump in here. There's two part, essentially it's the old Noim facilities, but introducing video. So if you're an Australian celebrant, you can only do this while you're on Australian soil and the couple are on Australian soil. But if the couple are not on Australian soil, they can do this, but not with a celebrant.
Correct. So it's the same witnesses. So if the couple are overseas, it's Australian Consul or Embassy staff member or a notary public, basically. They're the classes of people who can witness overseas and that remains the same, but they can do it by Zoom. So if, so for example, years ago, I had a couple who were living in Canada and they were a 12 hour drive away from the Australian Embassy. So they could Zoom with the Australian Embassy in Canada to now they will be able to, to witness their Noims.
Okay, a bit of a quick.
As long as the Australian Embassy in Canada is happy to do that, of course. But for us, it remains how it was. We can witness people signing their Noim if we are in Australia and they are in Australia over Zoom or FaceTime or whatever.
Okay, so a couple of questions around this. You can just do yes or no. So the couple that are getting married are Josh and Britt and Sarah is a celebrant. Okay, Sarah is in Melbourne, Josh and Britt are in Tasmania. Can we Zoom?
Yes.
Josh and Britt are in Canada. Sarah's in Melbourne. Can we Zoom?
No.
Josh and Britt are in Canada. Sarah's in London. Can we Zoom?
No.
Now here's the one I wanted to get to. Josh and Britt are in Canada and there's the Australian Consulate in London. Can we Zoom?
Yes.
So inter-country is fine.
My understanding is-
Inter-country outside of Australia.
Yes. 'Cause it doesn't say an overseas witness in the same country. It doesn't say that anywhere.
You know who we've got to find and I don't know who this is 'cause I, I'll be honest with you, I haven't gotten too involved in international. I would have had international couples. I'm just like, here's the list, figure it out brother. I'm like, I don't know. Like everyone's just in different places. I've just never really terribly involved myself in the, oh go to this consulate or whatever. I just kind of, here's the list. It's your responsibility to get me one of the people on the list.
Yeah.
It would be great to find like, there's a guy who's on that list and he's in, I don't know, whatever, he's in Jakarta. I don't know where he is. And he's just like, he's the guy. And he's like, it's 50 bucks. Just witnesses everyone around the world.
Sure, yeah. I mean, that would be cool, but yeah. Yeah.
All right, okay. Go back to the law because we have gotten a little bit, well not off track, but we're just, we've got the other half of our big part six. So the first part of part six is the witnessing annoyings. It remains the same. It's just that instead of being in the presence of, you can be over audio or visual communications, which obviously is-
Well visual has to be visual.
Oh, audio and visual, sorry. I said audio.
And visual.
Yeah, not all.
And not all. And so yes, Zoom, yes, FaceTime, yes. Weabooks, Google Meets, Skype. I think you can still Skype.
Yeah, Teams, whatever.
Messenger, whatever it is. And whatever next thing comes out next year, yes to that as well. If it's audio and visual, yes. The second part is the part that Sarah went into, went to a bit of about, who are you guys? And honestly, we should be lost. But the second section is, the title of it is section 42B. Authorized celebrant must physically meet each party to intended marriage separately. And I'll just read the sentence beneath it. An authorized celebrant must not solemnize a marriage unless the authorized celebrant has met separately with each party before the intended marriage. The authorized celebrant and the party must be physically present at the meeting. Sarah.
This is the one that I'm actually gonna talk about in depth at the webinar because it, there's gonna be a lot of confusion about it. And there's likely to be a lot of questions. So I'm very happy to answer all of those questions at the webinar. Basically, we have to meet each person separately, not alone, separately from the other party, in person, before the wedding, to ensure they are consenting. This was first mooted as a measure to ensure that when we are witnessing the noim remotely, that we are still ensuring that they are giving consent. I've had a lot to say about that, but you can read everything I've said about it on the article on the Celery Institute website when I talked about the submission that we made to the Senate inquiry. So that was the purpose, but they decided just to extend it to all couples. It's all celebrants, so it's not just civil celebrants, it's religious celebrants as well. Everybody must meet each party separately, in person, before the wedding. There is no requirement in the legislation for timing of that meeting, like when it occurs. There is no requirement for what happens in that meeting or how long it takes or anything like that. The requirement is that we meet them separately and the purpose is to ensure their consent. I'm very happy to talk at length about it with more instructions and thoughts and et cetera, answers to questions during the webinar.
And you'll just, as a link out, celebrant.institute is the website and we'll have the webinar signup links on there. Okay, part seven, single registration as an authorized celebrant. Are people double fisting celebrancy, Sarah? They totally are. So basically this is just formalising a rule that's pretty much already in place in that you can only be registered in one category of celebrants. So if you are a category C or subdivision C civil celebrant, like Josh and I are, you can't also at the same time be registered as a subdivision of B, state and territory officer who performs marriages at the registry office. You have to choose one or the other. There are a small handful of people who have managed to slip through the cracks over the years and are registered in two categories. Those people, their registrations won't change. It's, this is only going forward. It was always really like kind of an unspoken rule. It's just never been in the legislation before. So they're just formalising it and putting it in the legislation. I've got a friend who was, well, I mean, apparently still is registered as a religious minister and has the authority to marry people under his religion. And then he also became a civil marriage celebrant. And so he apparently also holds two registrations. And so this law would also speak to that as well, wouldn't it? No, it won't impact him at all. Oh no, no, no, but for future. For future, yes. If his situation arose tomorrow, well, not yet tomorrow. Correct, yes. Doesn't impact people who are already holding dual registrations, but it won't be possible in the future. And that brings us to the end of the list.
Gosh, what aThat's it. That was tantalising, Sarah. That was amazing. We should read the law more. We should do a whole podcast where we just read the entire marriage act. That'd be great. People love it. Nope, nope, nope. So look, that's the basic headlines. You're very welcome to go and obviously do your own research and have a look at this. There will be comms. Hopefully the comms from the marriage law and celebrant section will have come out before you hear this podcast because they've got it ready to go. And as far as I'm aware, as soon as Royal Assent is granted, they'll be pressing the send button like we will. So please read your emails from the marriage law and celebrant section. They're really important. But if you want more information without having to figure it out yourself, feel free to come along to one of my webinars and I'll tell you all about it. Housekeeping wants more. celebrant.institute is the website. That's the complete domain. And people like celebrant.institute.com, no, no, just celebrant.institute. That's where we're gonna be leaving all the information about the marriage law changes, the webinars. Also you can register for the Instagram myth busting webinar. If you're sick of hearing complete BS about, oh, you're gonna go on Instagram at this time of day and you're gonna do this. If you just wanna kind of cut through the crap and actually learn how to grow your Instagram reach and reach more couples, then please come on to that. And also just come and be in celebrant.institute.com because when you're paid to be a member, you're paying for things like this to happen. And we just love to help you guys. This podcast can be found at celebrant.fm. If you loved it, rate it, review it, make sure other people know about it. And Sarah, it is such a pleasure to hear your dose of time. So ladies, once more, thank you for coming.
You are welcome, thank you.
### Your celebrancy business needs an accountant like a wedding needs a celebrant
Let's have a chat about something not everyone loves discussing, but we all know is essential: accountants. Your celebrancy business needs an accountant like a wedding needs a celebrant. Seriously. And there's no better time to get on board with a good one than right now, as we approach the end of the financial year on June 30. You want to set yourself up for success for the current year and ensure you're off to a strong start for the next one.
Complex Tax Obligations
First things first, taxes. They’re unavoidable, but understanding GST obligations and navigating income tax deductions specific to us celebrants can be quite the headache. An accountant ensures compliance with ATO regulations, helping us avoid those pesky penalties that nobody wants to deal with.
Getting ahead of a problem in accounting is a million times better than getting caught years later. I can sit here and name countless wedding creators who still today are paying tax bills that are years old.
Financial Planning and Budgeting
Now, let’s talk about planning and budgeting. An accountant can help create and manage a budget tailored to your business needs, advising on financial planning to ensure sustainable growth. They assist with cash flow management, which is crucial for maintaining financial stability. It's about making sure we have enough in the coffers to keep things running smoothly, even during the quieter months.
Maximising Deductions
One of the best parts of having an accountant is their ability to maximise deductions. They know all the ins and outs, ensuring we claim every possible deduction—from travel and marketing to professional development costs. They also make sure all documentation is spot on, which is a huge relief come tax time.
Streamlining Bookkeeping
Bookkeeping might not be the most exciting task, but it's essential. Accountants can set up efficient bookkeeping systems that save us time and reduce stress. They can recommend and train us on the best software, like Xero or MYOB, making our lives a whole lot easier.
Professional Advice and Strategy
Every celebrant business is unique, and a good accountant offers tailored advice based on our specific needs. They help with business structure decisions—whether we should operate as a sole trader, partnership, or company. Plus, they assist with financial forecasting and setting realistic financial goals, so we know exactly where we stand and where we're headed.
Compliance and Reporting
Keeping up with compliance and reporting can be daunting, but accountants ensure all financial reports and statements are accurate and submitted on time. They stay up-to-date with changes in tax laws and industry regulations, so we don’t have to worry about falling behind.
Support During Audits
No one likes the idea of an audit, but if it happens, having an accountant on your side is invaluable. They provide support and representation, ensuring all records are in order and compliant with legal requirements. It’s like having a safety net when you need it most.
Optimising Pricing Strategies
Pricing can be tricky. An accountant can analyse our costs and profits, helping us set competitive and profitable pricing. They offer insights into how to adjust pricing strategies based on market trends, ensuring we’re always ahead of the game.
Investment and Retirement Planning
Looking beyond the day-to-day, accountants advise on investment opportunities to grow our personal and business wealth. They help plan for retirement, ensuring we have a stable financial future. It’s about thinking long-term and making smart decisions now.
Peace of Mind
Ultimately, having an accountant brings peace of mind. They reduce stress by managing the financial aspects of our business, allowing us to focus on what we do best—creating beautiful ceremonies. They offer ongoing support and advice, helping us navigate any financial challenges that come our way.
Instead of Guessing, Know for Sure
Instead of guessing about financial responsibilities and whether or not you’re making a profit, an accountant can provide clarity. They ensure we know for sure, giving us the confidence to make informed decisions for our business.
In conclusion, don’t wait until the last minute. Find yourself a good accountant today and set your celebrancy business up for success. Your future self will thank you.
And if you can't find a good accountant, mine is in Brisbane and services heaps of wedding creators like us and I'd happily recommend him.
### How Sharon and Adam chose Tim Maddren to be their celebrant and MC
Come dive into Sharon and Adam's wedding in the picturesque Douglas Vale Historic Vineyard and Homestead in Port Macquarie, New South Wales.
Sharon's wedding was not just a lovely occasion but also a masterclass in thoughtful planning and celebrant selection in Tam Maddren. Her choice of venue—a volunteer-run historic site—ensured that their wedding expenditure supported the local community.
https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/How-Sharon-and-Adam-chose-Tim-Maddren-to-be-their-celebrant-and-MC.mp3
Key Insights for Celebrants from Sharon's Wedding Planning:
1. Understanding Client Values:
Sharon's emphasis on privacy, accessibility, and support for community ventures provides a template for celebrants to understand and align with the values of their clients. By focusing on venues and vendors that resonate with these values, celebrants can enhance their service offerings and appeal to clients who prioritize similar ideals.
2. Venue Selection:
The choice of Douglas Vale Historic Vineyard and Homestead due to its accessibility, ample parking, and flat terrain catered beautifully to the needs of guests with mobility issues. This highlights the importance of celebrants understanding the specific needs of their clients and their guests, making recommendations that address these requirements comprehensively.
3. Financial Planning and Transparency:
Sharon's candid discussion about budgeting reveals that while initial plans may be modest, actual expenses can grow. For celebrants, offering guidance on budget management and being transparent about the costs of different services can help couples plan more effectively and avoid financial stress.
4. Vendor Interaction and Selection:
Sharon's experiences at a wedding fair underscore the importance of celebrants maintaining a genuine and unobtrusive presence. The feedback about vendors being too forceful or making the event about themselves rather than the couple is a crucial takeaway. Celebrants should strive to enhance the couple's day, not overshadow it, by being facilitative rather than intrusive.
5. Personalization Over Standardisation:
The personal touch in choosing a venue that also showcased local wines during the pre-ceremony gathering illustrates the value of personalization. Celebrants can encourage couples to infuse personal elements into their ceremony, making it more memorable and unique.
### Insights from the SBS Insights episode on weddings and the Wedding Grinch
The wedding industry in Australia is vibrant and evolving, despite the shifting societal views on marriage.
As a celebrant deeply embedded in this industry through both personal and industry-wide lenses, I've distilled some insights from recent discussions on SBS Insight [watch the episode + story on the couple who spent $200k + story on Phoebe almost calling off her wedding] to help you navigate and thrive in the 2024 wedding market.
https://youtube.com/shorts/CJWvtrsmlmU?si=Pet6VXYL-04-mWcT
The cohort of people getting married by a civil celebrant today is far more diverse than when I started as a celebrant back in Jesus' day.
Continued Popularity of Weddings: Despite reduced societal pressures to marry, the increasing cost of living, and modern views on marriage, weddings remain popular. Couples are spending more on their weddings, although they are inviting fewer guests compared to previous years.
Diverse Wedding Preferences: From extravagant celebrations costing upwards of $200,000 to intimate micro weddings and DIY approaches, couples are choosing wedding styles that deeply reflect their personal beliefs and financial situations. This diversity requires celebrants to be adaptable and responsive to varying needs and expectations.
Cultural and Personal Expressions: Weddings are increasingly seen as expressions of personal identity and cultural heritage. This is particularly evident in ceremonies like those of LGBTQ+ couples who celebrate their love while honouring their unique identities.
If you put food in the pantry by being a celebrant, that is to say that celebrant provides for your family, then you'll be interested in what kinds of insights we can glean from these interviews with real people planning real weddings:
Emphasise your personalisation skills: Market your services by highlighting your ability to tailor ceremonies to the unique stories and identities of couples. Showcase past weddings where you've embraced diverse cultural, personal, and thematic elements.
Use Authentic Testimonials: Share stories and testimonials from past clients that reflect the depth and breadth of your offerings. Real stories resonate more deeply and can illustrate your versatility and sensitivity to clients' needs.
Engage Through Social Media: Utilise the social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Pinterest where visual inspirations for weddings thrive. Regular posts featuring your weddings and how you served those clients can tap into the aspirations of potential clients.
Diversify Offerings: Consider offering packages that cater to different types of weddings—from lavish affairs to simple elopements. This diversification can help stabilise income streams but also help potential couples find a package that suits their unique wedding plans.
Invest in Professional Development: Keep abreast of trends, such as the growing preference for non-traditional venues and secular ceremonies. Training in cultural competencies and inclusive practices can also enhance your appeal. May we suggest a Celebrant Institute membership, and/or our professional development courses.
Focus on Relationships: Building strong relationships with wedding venues and other wedding vendors (e.g., photographers, planners) can lead to referrals. Equally, maintaining good relationships with past clients can lead to word-of-mouth recommendations, crucial for sustainable business growth.
Understand market segmentation: In this program there are a couple who spent one thousand dollars on their wedding, forty thousand, and two hundred thousand. Those three couples were looking for three very different celebrants and packages. Understand these market segments, what products you are putting forward, and how they would choose a celebrant.
The Australian wedding market, while diverse and evolving, presents significant opportunities for dedicated celebrants giving the market their all.
There always has been and always will be the greatest opportunities in one of three areas in any business market:
First: You might not be the first celebrant, but you can be the first to offer something unique or a different type of service or ceremony.
Cheapest: Cheapest isn't about being the lowest dollar for a similar service, but it's about creating efficiencies and systems so that you can offer a product at a cheap price point whilst still making a good profit. Think more Jetstar, less Bonza.
Best: This is the empty end of the market. It's hard work being the best, and not just being the best, but communicating it, marketing it, being there sustainably for a long time. But it's the most rewarding and I encourage all of you to aim to be here.
https://youtube.com/shorts/oZ1fj0-TELI?si=jbkbdAEIk1MpYlYC
I'd encourage all of you to watch the episode on SBS On-Demand but I'll leave you with this moment of zen, where a celebrant for Samantha and John stands there for the first kiss.
How do all celebrants worldwide not know to move for the first kiss today?
https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/kiss-celebrant.mp4
### Are you prepared to lose your Facebook, Meta, Google, access?
This week saw the 28th user of Instagram - that's right, he's been using Instagram for longer than everyone except for 27 other people - get locked out of his Instagram because an automatic content checker deemed that he had shared one of the worst and most criminal things you could share not just on social media but in the world. M.G. Siegler shares his story on his blog and email, Spyglass, and just as well he actually operates his own website, blog, and email list, so he actually had a chance of ever telling the story.
You might see my online presence and call me prolifically online, and you might not be wrong (booking weddings puts food in my kids mouths), but I also hold a deep distrust of companies like Meta and Google, companies that give so much away for free, companies that we invest so much of our brand capital into, but there are close to zero incentives for them to honour the bargain.
Apple is better but only barely - they're a big corporation that can turn their cheek on a whim, but at least I have a financial relationship with Apple. I could take legal action, or even just walk into an Apple Store, to deal with an issue like accidental account deletion.
Companies like UniSuper aren't even immune to accidental deletion curse, but luckily they have a Google Cloud account manager because I'm sure they spend thousands of dollars a year with Google. The incentives to help and serve change when you charge a fee. They also change when you're not a "big corporate".
That's the reason I moved all of my email from Google to Fastmail a few years ago. From a big corporation in California who has a history of accidentally deleting accounts - it happened to a photographer friend of mine a few years ago and he never got it back, even with my help - to a medium sized business in Melbourne that also happens to be a world-renowned email host.
[If you're interested in Fastmail, my referral link gives you 10% off]
It's also the reason I started the Rebels Guide email a few years ago, to gather couples off Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and even away from Google. I've written about this twice before on the Celebrant Institute, once about how Google considered leaving Australia, and Facebook actually did it in a small way.
The old joke to an influencer was that if Instagram stopped existing tomorrow would you still be a model. My question for you is, if Google, Instagram, Facebook, Threads, LinkedIn, Snapchat, TikTok, or X left Australia or stopped existing tomorrow, would you still be a celebrant?
That's why I so actively work towards email deliverability - making sure our emails stay out of spam - and convincing all of you to sign up for the free monthly email letter.
[We use Buttondown for our emails, love it, and this link gifts you a $9 credit on your account]
For the sakes of feeding our kids and booking weddings we can't leave these networks today (you can leave Gmail though, just saying) but you can start to build a world where you're not reliant on them.
### History of the one month's notice period
I have a problem. I often get sucked down online rabbit holes and before I realise it, it's 8pm and I haven't left my desk since lunchtime. Last week I got sucked down one such rabbit hole and hoo boy, it's a good one.
The Happily Ever... Before and After brochure
It all started when I went looking for the purpose behind the requirement for us to give the Happily Ever... Before and After brochure to our couples. Because that requirement is within section 42(5A) of the Marriage Act 1961, I knew it had been added after the Act was originally written. The capital letter at the end of a section or subsection number gives it away. If it was in there at the time of original publication, it would have its own section number. The capital letter means it was shoved in between two other sections at some later point.
I discovered this requirement had been added to the Act as part of the Marriage Amendment Bill 1976. I was hoping that reading the Explanatory Memorandum to the Bill as well as the Hansard records from the time would give me the purpose of the requirement to hand out this brochure. It did, sort of, good enough at least for what I was looking for.
The notice period
But then. Then I read the rest of the Explanatory Memorandum. And it was one of the other amendments in that Bill that really interested me:
Clause 13 - Notice to be given and declaration made: Paragraphs (a) and (b) of this clause provide for the extension of the minimum period for giving notice of intended marriage from 7 days to 1 month before the intended marriage [emphasis added].
What? The notice period used to be 7 days???? Whenever we have mentioned even the possiblity of considering decreasing the notice period, we have been utterly howled down by many celebrants, for reasons such as:
celebrants need at least a month to craft a personalised and meaningful ceremony
couples need plenty of time to make sure they're not making a mistake
but the divorce rate!!!
anyone who needs to get married quicker can just apply for a shortening (it's really not that easy!).
I immediately texted Josh (because that's who I text about most of my marriage law discoveries).
And hence, the rabbit hole. Josh took out a 24-hour subscription to the Sydney Morning Herald archives, I found the transcripts from the House of Representatives debates about the proposed amendments on Historic Hansard, and we were on the case. As well as we can figure out from the media coverage, the Bill, the Explanatory Memorandum, the debate in the House of Reps, and other historical research, here's a brief history of the notice period and what happened to bring it up to one month.
Pre-1963
The Marriage Act 1961, the one that governs how couples marry in Australia today, came into force on 1 September 1963. Before that, marriage was managed by the individual States (the Territories were governed by the Commonwealth until 1978). They all had their own marriage laws with completely different rules around literally everything. One day I'll write about all those differences (they're utterly fascinating), but for this post I'm concentrating on the notice period.
Across the country, weddings in some Christian churches may have required the banns of marriage to be read for three consecutive Sundays. This was to ensure anyone who knew of any reason why the couple should not be married could make their knowledge known ahead of time. Reasons could include one of the couple being married to someone else, or the couple being too closely related by blood.
Otherwise, according to Antony Whitlam, Member for Grayndler (ALP), in his address during the debate on the Marriage Act Amendment Bill 1976 on 19 August 1976, (backed up by my fact checking) the notice periods for marriages across the country were as follows:
Queensland: no notice required
New South Wales: no notice required
Victoria: 3 days
Tasmania: 7 days
South Australia: 10 days
Western Australia: 7 days
Yes, you read that right. In New South Wales and Queensland, you could literally rock up to the District Registrar's office, sign some declarations, and get married straight away.
Marriage Act 1961
When the Marriage Act 1961 was created, there was a LOT of debate about how long the notice period should be, but they eventually settled on 7 days. And that was all well and good for more than 10 years. Then came the Whitlam Government's changes to divorce laws. We're going on a bit of a tangent here, but it's absolutely required.
Divorce pre-1976
Before the Family Law Act 1975, divorce was governed by the Matrimonial Causes Act 1959. Under that Act, you could only get divorced if you had already been married for three years, AND if you could prove that your spouse was at fault, and you had evidence of such. There were a whole bunch of different grounds for divorce:
adultery
desertion for at least two years
refusal to consummate the marriage
habitual cruelty for at least one year
the spouse has committed rape, sodomy, or bestiality
habitual drunkenness for at least two years (or parts thereof)
habitual intoxication from drugs for at least two years (or parts thereof)
the husband has had frequent convictions for crime, been sentenced to prison for at least three years, and left the wife without reasonable means of support (yes, the Act specifically says that the hsuband has committed the crimes and left the wife without support - none of the other reasons are specific as to which spouse is the guilty party!)
being in prison for at least three years for a crime punishable by death or imprisonment for life for more than five years
being convicted of having attempted to murder or inflict grievous bodily harm on their spouse within the last year
habitual refusal to pay maintenance for at least two years
failure to comply with a decree of restitution of conjugal rights for at least one year (basically a legal requirement for them to live together and "perform marital services" - feel free to interpret that however you like)
being of unsound mind and unlikely to recover
being confined to an institution for at least five years for being of unsound mind
absence for long enough and under such circumstances as to presume death
separation for at least five years.
Collecting evidence of any of these grounds for divorce was time-consuming and expensive. Plus there was the expense of appointing a solicitor and a barrister, and don't forget the humiliation involved in proving one of these grounds. All in all it was a mess.
Family Law Act 1975
The Family Law Act 1975 changed all of that by introducing no-fault divorce. The person applying for the divorce simply had to declare that the marriage had broken down irretrievably, which was proven by the fact that the couple had been separated for at least 12 months. That was (and is) it. Divorce under the Family Law Act 1975 was far more accessible than it had been under the Matrimonial Causes Act - it was cheaper, less time consuming, and far simpler.
The Family Law Act was created by the Whitlam Labor Government. It passed through Parliament and was enacted on 12 June 1975, just a few months before Whitlam was dismissed and Parliament was dissolved on 11 November 1975. That's relevant to this story because at the ensuing election, the Coalition won power with the largest majority in Australia's history: 91 House of Representatives seats to Labor's 36.
The Family Law Act and therefore no-fault divorce came into force on 5 January 1976. In the first quarter of 1975, there had been 6261 divorces. In comparison, Following the introduction of no-fault divorce, the first quarter of 1976 saw 21,846 divorces. What happened? The new Coalition government FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. Honestly, I don't know what they were expecting: a divorce was now way easier and cheaper to get, of course there were going to be more of them!
Marriage Amendment Bill 1976
And now we finally come to the point. Horrified by the massive "flood" of divorces (as described by the Sydney Morning Herald on 9 May 1976), the Coalition created the Marriage Amendment Bill, which was designed to "discourage the formation of hasty or ill-advised marriages" (Bob Ellicott, Attorney-General, 3 June 1976).
Thus entered more funding for pre-marriage education, the requirement that we tell couples about pre-marriage education by giving them the Happily Ever... Before and After brochure, and the change to the notice period from 7 days to 1 month. After passing through Parliament unimpeded, the new laws came into force on 20 June 1977.
And that's why we have the 1 month's notice period for marriage in Australia.
Has it worked?
These amendments were designed to "take positive steps to underpin marriage and the family as part of society". As reported in the Sydney Morning Herald on 9 May 1976, they were "to offset the rising levels of divorce."
At the time these amendments were being drafted, 1 in 6 marriages ended in divorce. Now, it's somewhere between 1 in 2 and 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce (this article suggests 44%).
Clearly, these amendments did NOT work to slow down the divorce rate. It therefore begs the question, is the one month notice period of any use in today's Australia? Increasing the notice period didn't have the proposed impact, so is there any point maintaining it? Why not consider bringing it back to 7 days, or even 3 days like our friends across the pond in New Zealand? No, I'm not saying I think the notice period should definitely be 3 days. I'm saying I think we should look at it and seriously consider whether a month is the most appropriate notice period for Australia in the 21st century.
Quotes from various stakeholders in 1976
If you're interested, here's some quotes from various stakeholders in 1976.
Bob Ellicott, Attorney-General (Coalition)
A widely made suggestion for promoting marriage stability is that persons should be made to wait longer before being able to marry. I have received suggestions that persons should have to wait up to 12 months before being able to marry. Although the opinion of marriage counselling experts is somewhat divided on the value of long engagements, the Government saw merit in the proposal to extend the minimum period for giving notice of intended marriage beyond the existing period of 7 days. Proposals for substantial expansion of this period had to be weighed against the consideration that, in principle, arbitrary restrictions on a fundamental right such as the right to marry should not be lightly imposed. The Government decided that the best compromise would be to increase the minimum period of notice of intended marriage to 1 month, which is the period proposed in many of the suggestions received [emphasis added].
I said earlier that I did not believe for one moment- I do not think I ever suggested it- that by increasing the time for giving notice of intention to marry from 7 days to one month we would suddenly solve all problems. However, this proposal emphasises the fact that those entering marriage ought to think more carefully about it and about the obligations of marriage. If they do they are more likely to have a more lasting marriage. That is the theory behind it.
Jack Birney, Member for Phillip (Coalition)
The whole purpose of the Marriage Amendment Bill is without doubt to uphold the institution of marriage by instilling in persons desiring to enter into the marriage state a perceptiveness of the obligations and responsibilities of the marriage vows. This is most laudable at a time when the institution of marriage in many quarters is being held up to ridicule and indeed in contempt.
Maurice Neil, Member for St George (Coalition)
This clause has received the most favourable public reaction. There have been numerous Press reports. I understand telegrams have been received by the Government stating that the extension of the period is an admirable idea as it signifies to the nation the importance of thinking about marriage and of arranging it in a sober fashion and in a sober time space
Antony Whitlam, Member for Grayndler (ALP)
The proposal is that the minimum period of notice which intending partners to a marriage should give will be extended from 7 days to 30 days. That is a gross invasion of civil liberties.
From the kind of information I put before the House, it appears that not significantly more people in Queensland before 1961 who were married and who had to give no notice of their intention to marry have had their marriages come unstuck than persons in South Australia where, before this Parliament legislated, 10 days notice had to be given.
There is no logic whatsoever in extending the period of notice to 30 days.
Albert James, Member for Hunter (ALP)
I am opposing the provision in this legislation for the extension of notice from 7 days to one month. This would prolong the agony that a young couple have to suffer when they are in love, they are going to have a child and they want to get married as soon as possible.
Gordon Scholes, Member for Corio (ALP)
We delude ourselves if we think that will make any significant difference in the degree of breakdown of marriage. Marriage breaks down for a variety of reasons. I do not think delaying the decision to marry by an additional 3 weeks will make a great deal of difference to that breakdown.
Lionel Bowen, Member for Kingsford Smith (ALP)
This legislation when introduced in 1961 was based on what we might call a non-party philosophy. The basis for the provision that we are now considering is that 7 days would be a sufficient period for the purpose involved. In my view, that provision was related more to giving adequate notice to enable a celebrant to organise the necessary details than to suggesting that this would be the minimum period required for the parties to get to know each other [emphasis added].
Vic Parsons, civil celebrant (quoted in The happy making of a marriage, the civil way, The Age, 11 May 1976)
This will be a general imposition on the community that is not going to be beneficial.
In Victoria, before the Commonwealth took over marriage in 1961, people wanting to wed were required to give only three days' notice, and still the divorce rate increased.
Time has nothing to do with divorce. What it is really is a sign of the times.
This is to placate a certain conservative section of the community concerned about the divorce rate.
### Decrypted Australian PDF Marriage Forms
We understand that accessibility is key in providing seamless services as a marriage celebrant, and we also understand that the Notice of Intended Marriage and Official Certificate of Marriage being provided from the AGD as protected PDFs is not just annoying but an impediment to a digital and modern paperwork workflow.
That's why we've taken the initiative to make your life a little easier by decrypting the PDFs provided by the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Attorney-General’s Department and making them available to members use. Here, you'll find all the essential documents you need, free from the cumbersome password protections that can slow you down - or in my case recently, stop a marriage being registered by the BDM.
Our aim is to ensure that you, as a celebrant, have quick and effortless access to these important resources, allowing you to focus more on crafting memorable ceremonies for your couples. Whether you're conducting legal paperwork or looking for guidance on the latest in marriage regulations, our unlocked PDFs are readily available for your convenience.
Dive into our collection today and experience hassle-free access to all the documents you need at your fingertips:
Notice of Intended Marriage form
Official Certificate of Marriage form
Record of use of Form 15 Marriage Certificates
Certificate of faithful performance by interpreter form
Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage form
How did we do it? A free and open source software called QPDF installed on my computer by Homebrew.
Let this be a lesson: easy passwords are easily breakable. Use a password manager like 1Password to generate long, unique, and hard to remember passwords; keep as little information as possible because data you don't have is data you can't lose or have stolen; and use secure computers with audited protection.
### Sarah-Louise's trip to the wedding trail and her Maleny wedding
This Insights podcast episode is with Josh and Sarah-Louise Anderson, who is planning her wedding on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland for the 1st of October. They discuss the process of choosing a wedding date around her partner's FIFO work schedule, her brother's availability, ensuring her preferred photographer - Luke Middlemiss - was available, and then booking Jay Flood as her celebrant.
Sarah emphasises the importance of selecting a venue that fits her micro wedding size and budget. She shares her experience with venue costs, noting that a venue she liked was too expensive at $18,000 for 30 guests, leading her to choose a different venue for $3,000. She also talks about her experience at the Hinterland Wedding Trail, where she was able to shortlist vendors and see venues set up for a wedding.
The conversation also touches on the challenges of vendors not taking no for an answer and the importance of finding vendors who are easy to work with. Sarah found her photographer, cake maker, invitations, and lighting at the wedding trail. She later hired a wedding planner specialising in micro weddings and a celebrant recommended by several people, Jay Flood.
https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/8c97bf5f7ac3165d6d801aa6996c7ecc.mp3
Based on the conversation with Sarah, here are three action points for wedding celebrants looking for business development tips inspired by her journey:
Understand and Respect Client Boundaries: Sarah emphasised the importance of vendors recognising when a potential client is not interested in their services and not pushing further. Celebrants should practice reading the room and respecting boundaries. If a couple seems uninterested, it's better to gracefully exit the conversation and allow them to explore other options. This not only saves time for both parties but also leaves a positive impression that could lead to future referrals.
Be Direct and Transparent: Sarah appreciated vendors who were straightforward about their pricing and services. Celebrants should ensure that their communication is clear, especially regarding costs and what is included in their packages. Being upfront can build trust with couples and help them make informed decisions without feeling pressured or misled.
Personalise the Experience: Sarah's choice of celebrant was heavily influenced by recommendations and the celebrant's ability to understand her unique situation with her FIFO (fly-in fly-out) partner. Celebrants should strive to personalize their approach to each couple, showing genuine interest in their specific circumstances and preferences. This can involve being flexible with communication methods, understanding scheduling challenges, and offering tailored advice that aligns with the couple's vision for their wedding day.
### Kim & Zac's Cronulla wedding
Kim and Zac married in Cronulla and they always knew that Tania Marsh was going to be their celebrant.
The couple got married in Cronulla and flew Tania down to Sydney for their wedding.
https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Kim-Zacs-Cronulla-wedding.mp3
Listen to their story and how they made their wedding planning decisions in this podcast episode.
Main points from the interview:
Kim is originally from the UK and now lives in Sydney, New South Wales.
Married to Zach, an Australian.
Wedding ceremony held in a local park in Cronulla, followed by a reception at a restaurant called 1908.
Got married on March 3rd, end of summer/early autumn.
Together for six years before marrying; engaged for three or four years, with a long engagement due to COVID.
Planned the wedding in four months.
Prioritised reception venue first, looking for a casual and affordable option, which led to choosing 1908.
Ceremony location was recommended by the reception venue.
Guest list determined by venue capacity: 120 for cocktail style, 100 for seated, but settled on 94 guests for an intimate feel.
Music was a key element; wanted a live band for both ceremony and reception, they chose a band called Red Soda Ruby, which played their desired first dance song.
Invites were sent quickly via email and Facebook due to the short planning timeframe.
Bridal parties and outfits were organised after the venue and music.
Photography was done by a friend who specialises in family and pets.
Videography was casually done by Kim's uncle with a camcorder.
Celebrant was a professional celebrant who is also a family friend, Tania Marsh, who was personal and engaging.
Budget expectations started at 10k but ended up around 20k.
On the day, they wished for an on-the-day coordinator to handle minor issues.
Happy with the music, photography, and minimalistic decor.
Used a Polaroid camera for candid guest photos.
Video quality was not a priority as they don't plan to watch it often.
Important aspects of the wedding were the venue, music, celebrant, and photographer.
Business development and marketing points:
Personalised Service: The couple appreciated a celebrant who took a genuine interest in their relationship and personalised the ceremony to reflect their story. Celebrants should consider how they can offer a bespoke experience that resonates with the couple's unique journey.
Referrals and Recommendations: The couple relied heavily on recommendations from friends and the reception venue for various services, including music and ceremony location. Celebrants should focus on building strong relationships with other vendors and clients to encourage word-of-mouth referrals.
Engagement and Creativity: The celebrant's ability to keep the ceremony engaging and creative was highly valued. Celebrants should strive to make ceremonies memorable and avoid a one-size-fits-all approach.
Communication and Guidance: The couple appreciated their celebrant's guidance throughout the process, especially since they were unfamiliar with the typical wedding structure. Celebrants should communicate clearly and offer helpful advice to couples during planning.
On-the-day Coordination: The bride expressed a wish for an 'on-the-day coordinator' to handle logistics, suggesting that celebrants could either expand their services to include day-of coordination or partner with wedding planners to offer a comprehensive package.
Value Perception: The couple had different budget expectations, with the bride initially aiming for a lower budget. Celebrants should be transparent with their pricing and communicate the value they bring to justify their fees.
Marketing Approach: Traditional advertising may not always capture attention. Celebrants need to find creative ways to stand out in social media feeds and make an impression on potential clients.
Minimalism and Authenticity: The couple preferred a minimalistic approach and candid photography, indicating a trend towards authenticity. Celebrants should be aware of such trends and adapt their services and marketing to align with the preferences of modern couples.
Flexibility and Adaptability: The couple planned their wedding in a short timeframe, which required flexibility from vendors. Celebrants should be prepared to work with varying timelines and be adaptable to last-minute changes.
### Basic accounting and financial management for celebrants
A celebrant reached out recently with a query that sparked me thinking about how well we're all managing our finances. They emailed me asking if they were still a paying member of the Celebrant Institute.
Ironically, the simplest way to find this out would have been for them to log in and check their account status on the website themselves - members.celebrant.institute, and if not that, they should know what they're spending money on each month.
Their situation highlights a common oversight many sole traders may encounter—the lack of active engagement with their own business finances. Knowing what you're paying for, and more importantly, understanding your business's revenue and expenses, is fundamental to discerning whether you're operating at a profit or merely treading water.
This anecdote serves as a perfect segue into why robust financial management practices are not just advisable but essential for every marriage celebrant.
Here’s how you can keep your business’s financial health in check and ensure long-term sustainability.
1. Separating Your Personal and Business Finances
Start with the basics: open a separate bank account for all your business transactions.
This distinction simplifies financial management and is crucial for clear, accurate record-keeping—a must for any business. The only time the two shall meet is when you transfer money from your business to your personal and that's called paying yourself a wage.
2. Efficient Record Keeping for the ATO
Maintain meticulous records of all business transactions, including detailed tax invoices or receipts. Store these securely (digitally or if you must, on paper) for at least five years, as required by the Australian Taxation Office (ATO).
Proper record-keeping not only facilitates smoother tax filing but also provides invaluable insights into your financial health.
The best way to do this is in accounting software. I'm not going to recommend one in particular, I hate them all equally, but I currently use Xero for my business plus we also use Xero at the Celebrant Institute. Is it the best, possibly, but gosh if you read this and you know something better, for all of our sakes jump in the comments and let us know.
3. Managing GST and BAS Requirements
For those of us whose business turnover exceeds the ATO threshold of $75,000, registering for GST is mandatory.
This involves adding or including GST to your prices, saying "ex GST" or "including GST" on your price page, claiming GST credits on business purchases, and filing regular Business Activity Statements (BAS).
Proper management of your GST obligations ensures compliance and prevents unexpected liabilities. If you don't know about GST it's your responsibility to learn.
4. Diligent Preparation for End of Year Tax
Don't wait until the last minute (aka June 30th) to prepare for your taxes. I'm writing this on April 21 and I've had a meeting-via-multiple-emails with my accountant about end of year already, if you haven't, initiate the meeting now.
Regularly update your financial records and consult with a tax professional to identify possible deductions and strategies to minimise your tax liabilities. Consider setting aside a portion of your income regularly to cover your tax obligations.
5. Reconciling Accounts Regularly
Regular reconciliation of your accounts ensures that your bank statements and financial records match up. This practice is crucial for catching and addressing any discrepancies early, thus maintaining the integrity of your financial data.
Also, just between you, me, and the door knob, my accountant said that if/when you get audited, if you've been reconciling your bank statements with your accounting software, like Xero and others offer, then it's a signal to the auditor that you're actually running a good business and you know what you're doing.
6. Generating and Analysing Business Reports
Frequent generation of business reports like profit and loss statements, and balance sheets, gives you a clearer picture of your financial status.
These reports are indispensable for effective financial planning and decision-making, helping you to identify trends, manage cash flow, and plan for future growth.
7. Continual Financial Education
Stay updated with the latest financial regulations and practices. Engage in continuous learning through workshops, courses, and relevant publications. This knowledge is vital to navigating the complexities of financial management and keeping your business compliant and profitable.
§
Ironically that celebrant won't read this article, but I hope it's been a blessing to members, and a reminder that your financial obligation to yourself, your clients, and the ATO, sits on the same level of important as the monitum.
Embracing good financial management practices like these offers more than just regulatory compliance; it equips you with the knowledge and tools to make informed decisions, ensuring your business thrives.
Many, maybe quite a few, celebrants might find that upon inspecting their finances they are not even earning the median Australian wage of $67k per year, or the average Australian wage of $99k a year after their cost of doing business.
Understanding and managing your finances effectively means less time worrying about money and more time doing what you love—making marriages, going on holidays, collecting expensive whisky, or whatever it is that puts a smile on your face.
### Just a bunch of gibberish + legislation + quiet wedding industry times
In this episode of The Celebrant Talk Show, hosts Josh Withers and Sarah Aird discuss the current state of the wedding industry and the impact of COVID-19, inflation, and the "engagement gap" on wedding businesses. They also provide an update on the Attorney-General's Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill 2023, which includes amendments that would allow for remote witnessing of notices of intended marriage. However, the bill has been delayed in the Senate due to controversy over unrelated amendments to the Native Title Act.
Josh and Sarah share their personal experiences with the downturn in the wedding industry, with Josh noting a significant decrease in inquiries and bookings and Sarah discussing her efforts to improve her website's SEO through blogging. They encourage fellow celebrants to create content that reflects their unique processes and personalities, highlighting the importance of being true to oneself and avoiding negative marketing.
In this episode we chat about the Attorney-General's Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill and how long it's taking to get through Parliament. You can read Sarah's articles about it here, here, and here.
We also chat about the state of the wedding industry worldwide and what we're doing about it for our own businesses. You might want to read Josh's article about the engagement gap.
Let us know how you're keeping afloat in these difficult times.
### Marketing yourself as a new celebrant
Silvia asks:
I really want to find out how to start a website when you haven't done any weddings yet. I've looked at many celebrant's websites and find myself overwhelmed.
Starting out can be hard, but rest assured, everyone started at zero so it's a journey worth taking. If I was starting today and I had no weddings under my belt, I would stop focusing on what I don't have, and focus on what I do have, or can get:
Brand - pay a designer to create a brand for you, a colour scheme, logo, fonts, design principles. Don't know a designer, get in touch and I can recommend people I like.
Photos - pay a wedding photographer you love to take some branding photos for your new website and social media.
Dream - there's obviously a reason you've become a celebrant, work that out into a first year blogging and social media plan. Create a plan and content for social media and your websites blog based on all the standard celebrant questions, rituals, the reasons you became a celebrant, your philosophies, everything that makes you a celebrant.
Promise - Refine that dream into a core promise that is the reason people will book you as their celebrant. Create a website out of this. A promise that you will be this kind of celebrant.
Honesty - Be honest that you've done zero/few weddings, but also be confident that you have done your training, you've received your authority, and you're ready to rumble. Humble about your reality, bold about your promise.
Simple Stuff - Cover all the boring simple stuff about getting married in Australia, legalities, forms, paperwork, vows, monitum, one month notice etc. It's always news to couples.
People often say that you've got to fake it til you make it, but I don't like faking it. Just be honest, but also be bold and ambitious.
### Public speaking skills you can learn from Steve Jobs and John Mulaney
As a wedding celebrant, our role is pivotal in creating a memorable experience for couples on their special day. Public speaking is an integral part of this role, and there's much to learn from seasoned speakers across different fields. Let's delve into the insights that comedians like John Mulaney and visionaries like Steve Jobs can offer to help you refine your public speaking skills.
Embrace Your Unique Style
John Mulaney's success as a comedian stems from his distinctive voice and delivery. He doesn't just tell jokes; he weaves stories that resonate with his audience. As a wedding celebrant, finding your unique style is crucial. Whether it's through humour, heartfelt stories, or a combination of both, your personal touch will make ceremonies unforgettable.
Connect with Your Audience
Steve Jobs was known for his ability to captivate audiences. He didn't just present products; he created experiences that connected with people on an emotional level. Similarly, as a celebrant, your goal is to connect with the couple and their guests. Understand the couple's story and share it in a way that engages everyone present, making them feel like they're part of the journey.
Preparation is Key
Both Mulaney and Jobs meticulously prepared for their performances. While Jobs rehearsed his keynotes to perfection, Mulaney polished his routines through repetition and feedback. As a celebrant, preparation is just as important. Rehearse your speech, know the flow of the ceremony, and be ready to handle any unexpected moments with grace.
Timing and Pacing
A comedian's timing is critical to landing a joke, and Mulaney is a master of this. In the world of tech presentations, Jobs knew when to reveal key information to keep the audience on the edge of their seats. For wedding celebrants, timing and pacing are equally important. Know when to pause for effect, when to speed up to maintain energy, and when to slow down to allow moments to sink in.
Simplicity and Clarity
Jobs was a proponent of simplicity, both in design and communication. He made complex ideas easy to understand. As a celebrant, aim for simplicity and clarity in your speech. Avoid jargon and speak from the heart. Your message should be easy for all guests to follow and appreciate.
Adaptability
Both Mulaney and Jobs could read the room and adjust their approach accordingly. As a celebrant, be adaptable. If the audience responds well to humor, lean into it. If the moment calls for solemnity, provide it. Being attuned to the atmosphere will help you deliver the right tone at the right time.
By incorporating these lessons from John Mulaney and Steve Jobs, you can elevate your public speaking skills and become a more effective wedding celebrant. Remember, your role is to enhance the celebration with your words and presence. With practice and dedication, you can create a lasting impact on the couple's special day and ensure that their wedding ceremony is as beautiful and engaging as they dreamed it would be.
This post was inspired by McGuire Brannon's video on the topic for tech industry leaders, which is a great watch.
### 2024's Ongoing Professional Development topics are now available
Our friends in Canberra emailed all Aussie celebrants with the good news that our OPD - our ongoing professional development obligation - is now online on the Marcel Portal.
The department is delivering the two (2) activities free of charge and they are set out in the statement Marriage (Celebrant Professional Development) Statement 2024 (legislation.gov.au).
The compulsory activities are:
Real Consent (Including Capacity) — Compulsory, 60-minute duration
Knowledge of the Law No 1 — Compulsory, 60-minute duration.
And if you were unsure if OPD was for you ...
Your obligations
You must complete all your compulsory activities by 11.59PM on 31 December 2024 (Canberra local time).
Under s39G(1)(b) of the Marriage Act 1961 it is a legal obligation for registered marriage celebrants to undertake all professional development activities required by the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants. Failure to do so (subject to any exemption granted) may result in disciplinary measures being taken, which may include a caution, additional professional development activities, suspension or deregistration.
Exemption applications
If you have an exceptional circumstance that will prevent you from undertaking this important obligation for a significant period of the professional development year, you may apply for an exemption: Guidelines for exemption from ongoing professional development requirements | Attorney-General's Department (ag.gov.au).
And who per-chance would you call or pay or ask to do your OPD in 2024?
Marriage Celebrants Portal
Information on accessing the marriage celebrants portal is available at: Marcel Portal (ag.gov.au).
Haven't logged into Marcel in sometime?
Please note that celebrants accessing the portal for the first time since 30 June 2023 will need to set up multifactor authentication using their registered email address.
Some celebrant have reported logging in issues to me and my best advice is to click the "forgot password" link or if that doesn't work, then to contact the AGD's MLCS section on marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au.
What is OPD about in 2024?
There are two topics being taught and assessed in 2024's ongoing professional development program:
Real consent
Knowledge of the law
If you know your Marriage Act, Guidelines, and Marriage Regulations Act, then you'll be set to go.
Our best advice is to stop, breath, and read the topics and questions; download the workbooks linked in the questions; and ahead of time, download the PDFs or Word documents of the:
Marriage Act 1961
Marriage Regulations 2017
Guidelines on the Act
Pour a coffee, schedule up to two hours of solitude, and head on over to marriage.ag.gov.au/mcportal now to get started.
How do I know I've met my obligation?
Your portal will reflect your completion, and as an added advantage, there will be some emails in your inbox.
### Card Buddy, your new ceremony writing app
I've described my ceremony preparation and writing style before as a series of "bits", much like how a comedian will assemble a show from their jokes and bits, I'll assemble a ceremony together much the same.
So when I saw Card Buddy being reviewed in issue 110 of Hulry I thought I'd see if it would work for a celebrant assembling their ceremony.
Card Buddy is available in Apple's Mac App Store for download for free to try, but to save your writing you need to purchase the app. To unlock the app to Pro mode it costs $29.99 - a one off purchase cost.
How does the app work?
Imagine paper cue cards or index cards that you'd purchase from an office supplies store, and you have all your index cards laid out on paper in front of you, this is that, but digitally on your Mac computer.
You can drag and drop bits around and read them out to see how they feel.
How I imagine using it is to write all my bits in a master file, then duplicate that for someone's wedding and to rearrange, and edit, as needed. Then you can print out a PDF that would be a great place to read from.
You can try Card Buddy for free to see if the app suits your mental workflow, and at $29.99 it's a bargain if it cuts down the amount of time you spend creating ceremonies.
### Engagement ring sales in 2023 explain the 2024 dip in enquiries
Listening to the really good WedCo Podcast episode with my old mate Shane Shepherd enlightened me beyond expectations for that podcast episode. I now understand why enquiries and bookings are so quiet in 2024.
Explaining the 2024 dip in wedding enquiries and bookings, or the shortening of planning time, Shane references a New York Times article which references the investors letter from the world's largest retailer of diamond jewellery, Signet.
Signet is experiencing financial headwinds because of the reduction of engagements due to the pandemic.
Disruptions in the dating cycle caused by the pandemic and the pace at which such impacts on engagements are expected to recover.
And the New York Times fleshes out the story like this:
The company is selling fewer engagement rings this year (2023) because, it says, singles who were stuck at home during lockdowns failed to meet their would-be fiancés in 2020.
Fortune Magazine reported it a little bleaker:
There’s now proof of the loneliness epidemic and how COVID devastated dating—a drop in Signet engagement ring sales
Even Australia's own Michael Hill closed six stores earlier this year, five of those in Australia, and axed senior management roles amid a “challenging period for the business”.
What does this mean?
So the long and the short of it is that the average couple dates for two and a half to five years before getting engaged, then the wedding is somewhere between three and eighteen months away, but that timeline has been extended because not only were people not out meeting their future fiancé in 2020, 2021, and even into 2022 due to fears and worries about getting COVID.
Because new couples were not getting together as much during those COVID years, the subsequent engagements did not appear. Signet reveals that engagements started to dip in 2022 (from 2.8 million in 2021 to 2.5 million in 2022) and bottomed out in 2023 (from 2.5 million in 2022 to 2.1 million in 2023), and although those are American numbers. Those couples who were originally planning to ask the question through 2021 and 2022 also decided to postpone their engagement until things were "back to normal" which also contributed to the decrease in engagements because some of those people did other things like children or mortgages, and many broke up as well.
What does the future hold? We'll all find out together, but my tea leaf reading says that weddings will come back stronger than ever, we just might have a few quiet months ahead of us yet.
### Science proves: quick reply means a positive impression
A new study finds that the later we meet someone in a sequence, the more negatively we describe them. The research finds that unconscious bias could disadvantage people who happen to be evaluated later in a sequence, whether it's job applicants, contestants on a reality show, Tinder dates, or wedding vendors couples are enquiring with.
The study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Koch A, Bromley A, Woitzel J, Alves H called Differentiation in social perception aimed to study why later-encountered individuals are described more negatively.
Imagine you’re the 20th celebrant to reply to a wedding enquiry, you're the 20th celebrant in their inbox, or the 10th hopeful stepping onto their email stage to audition for that role. You’re just as qualified and just as talented as those who went before you. According to this study, you are at a surprising disadvantage, thanks to an unconscious bias in how we perceive and describe others.
The study found that the later we encounter someone in a sequence, the more negatively we tend to describe them.
The simple takeaway for celebrants wanting to be perceived positively – isn't that all of us? – is that we need to be closer to the front of the sequence.
These are scenarios I can think of that we could focus on:
Be the quickest to reply to an enquiry. I have AI send a personal reply, not templated, almost immediately after the couple enquires.
SEO. Be closer to the top of a search engine search. SEO still matters.
Meet couples earlier in their journey. Whether it's the couples who haven't got a date yet, or have only just got engaged, find a way to engage with them early. This is a surprisingly big benefit of wedding expos, magazines, and helpful social media like Youtube and Instagram.
Word of mouth always matters. So getting on referral lists is still important, particularly with venues as they're often the first booked.
Creating content for that era. Many of us are creating content to help and inform couples that are closer to their wedding date. Create content for the pre-planning era, or early-planning era of their wedding journey.
From SuchScience:
The researchers coined this phenomenon the “serial position-negativity effect.”
They hypothesised that when we sequentially encounter people, we focus on distinct attributes that differentiate each new person from those we’ve already met. And because distinct attributes tend to be negative in the grand scheme of things, our descriptions of later-encountered people become increasingly negative.
To test this, the researchers conducted a number of studies. In one, they had 992 participants (recruited from Prolific Academic) describe 20 people based on their Facebook profile pictures.
The participants described the first few individuals quite positively, using an average of 6.2 positive words each. But as they progressed through the sequence, their descriptions became significantly more negative, dipping to an average of just 4.7 positive words by the 20th person.
In another experiment, 987 participants (about evenly split between male and female, with an average age of 42) were shown short video clips of women introducing themselves on the popular TV show The Bachelor. In these clips, each woman tried to make a memorable first impression on the bachelor, often in creative and attention-grabbing ways.
As the study participants progressed through the sequence of videos, their descriptions of the women became increasingly negative: the tenth woman was described significantly more negatively, on average, than the first woman, despite the fact that the order of the videos was randomised for each participant.
And this last piece really captured me:
And their descriptions also became increasingly specific over time. As participants encountered more women, they focused more on what made each new woman stand out, leading to more unique and ultimately more negative descriptions.
Citation: Koch A, Bromley A, Woitzel J, Alves H. Differentiation in social perception: Why later-encountered individuals are described more negatively. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2024 Feb 29. doi: 10.1037/pspa0000383. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 38421750.
### The state of the wedding industry, according to the 2024 Easy Weddings survey
The Easy Weddings 2024 Australian Wedding Industry Report provides an overview of the state of the wedding industry from the point of view of Easy Weddings and its 4,200 engaged and newlywed couples that completed the survey, input from nearly 600 wedding businesses, and perspectives of 49,000 Instagram followers.
It offers valuable insights into the planning, spending behaviours, and preferences of couples, as well as the challenges and opportunities faced by wedding businesses.
Here are some actionable points for wedding celebrants to adapt, grow, and serve the wedding population effectively:
Understanding the Modern Australian Couple
Age and Engagement Period: The average age of marrying couples has increased, and they are engaged for about 22 months. Consider offering flexible scheduling and long-term planning services to accommodate their timelines.
Budget Consciousness: With the cost of living affecting budgets, couples are prioritising their spending. Tailor your offerings to fit various budget ranges, emphasising value.
Personalisation and Authenticity: Couples seek personalised experiences, especially when it comes to vows. Focus on creating bespoke ceremonies that reflect the couple’s unique story and values.
Adapting to Market Trends
Embracing Technology: With a significant number of couples turning to online platforms for vendor discovery and planning, ensure your online presence (website, social media) is strong, engaging, and updated.
Flexibility and Adaptability: Offer flexible packages that can be customised based on the couple’s needs and budget constraints. Being adaptable to changes and last-minute requests can set you apart.
Sustainability: As couples become more environmentally conscious, consider promoting eco-friendly practices in your services.
Enhancing Customer Service
Rapid Response: The report highlights the importance of quick responses to inquiries. Implement or improve your CRM system to ensure timely communication.
Gathering Reviews: Positive reviews significantly impact couples' decisions. Encourage satisfied clients to leave reviews by providing exceptional service and following up after the ceremony.
Building Relationships: Couples value a personal connection. Take the time to understand their vision and preferences, and maintain open, empathetic communication throughout the planning process.
Networking and Collaboration
Collaborate with Vendors: Building relationships with other vendors can lead to referrals. Consider creating packages that include services from other vendors, such as photographers or planners.
Continuous Learning: Stay informed about industry trends, attend workshops, and network with other celebrants to refine your offerings and stay competitive.
Marketing and Promotion
Social Media and SEO: Utilise social media to showcase your services and connect with potential clients. Invest in SEO to improve your visibility online.
Showcasing Real Weddings: Share stories and pictures from weddings you’ve officiated, with permission, to give couples an idea of your style and approach.
The Easy Weddings report underscores the evolving nature of the wedding industry and the diverse needs of modern couples. By focusing on personalisation, budget flexibility, and strong customer service, while leveraging technology and fostering vendor relationships, wedding celebrants can effectively meet these needs, stand out in a competitive market, and build a successful business.
Download the 2024 report, 2023 report, and 2022 report.
The report also brought some statistics about the celebrant industry worth noting:
On average, marriage celebrants in Australia:
Have been in business for 8 years
Are among 9,000+ registered celebrants across the country
Are booked 9 months before the wedding
Spend 28% of their revenue on marketing and advertising (Josh: which is wild and well above the 5% industry norm)
Work 16 hours on each wedding
Respond to couple enquiries within 1 hour (42%) followed by within 24 hours (38%)
Are devoted 92% to weddings and 8% to funerals and other events
$874 is the average cost of a marriage celebrant (as interviewed by Easy Weddings) in Australia which is a 7% increase
### Learn from WeddingWire's annual report WeddingPro report
The 2023 WeddingPro Benchmarking Report offers a comprehensive look into the current state of the American wedding industry, focusing on the challenges and strategies wedding professionals use to grow their businesses.
It's important to note that this report is designed to reaffirm and encourage advertising and listing with Wedding Wire, but regardless, there's always something to learn.
Here’s a summary, highlighting key points relevant to Australian wedding celebrants:
Challenges highlighted in the report
Experienced Professionals are better at converting new leads into bookings: The report found that experienced professionals tend to have higher conversion rates, so this indicates the importance of communicating your experience and your commitment to continual learning and professional development. "Pros with 10+ years of experience generate 28% of their business from referrals, while those with >4 years of experience see 19% of business being generated from referrals."
Finding new customers continues to be a challenge: A universal challenge across the industry but especially for celebrants. 25% of leads are coming from enquiries, 23% from advertising, 18% from SEO/website, 13% from social media.
Take aways from the report
Importance of Presence: Having an online presence across various platforms is essential to build credibility and capture couples at different stages of their decision-making process. Most businesses surveyed had seven presences on different websites, and paid for two.
Impact of Reviews: Featuring reviews prominently boosts credibility. Encouraging couples to leave reviews is beneficial.
Understanding Lead Sources: Knowing where leads come from helps optimise strategies. Continuously asking couples how they found out about your service is crucial.
Quality over Quantity: When paying for advertising, the quality of leads is more important than volume. Target platforms where couples have a high intent to book.
Gen-Z and Social Media: With the rise of Gen-Z getting married, platforms like YouTube and TikTok are becoming more relevant. It’s important to adapt marketing strategies to include user-generated video content.
Actionable tips
Focus on Conversion: Invest in education and strategies to improve your lead conversion rates.
Enhance Online Presence: Ensure visibility across various online platforms, including wedding directories and social media plus your own website. Make sure the branding, logos, colours, messaging, is consistent and strong.
Leverage Reviews: Encourage past clients to leave reviews to boost credibility.
Understand Your Audience: Tailor your advertising and marketing efforts to target platforms where your ideal clients are most active.
Evaluate Advertising ROI: Continuously assess the effectiveness of your advertising spend across different channels.
Adapt to Changing Trends: Stay informed about emerging social media trends and preferences, especially as new generations start planning their weddings.
Download the report here.
### On Sanebox, and how I learned to love my inbox again
I love my email inbox. That's not something many people can say today. But I really do. I do my business there which provides for my family, plus I subscribe to so many interesting and important email letters there, so it's a source of income, entertainment, and joy for me.
I am a certified weirdo.
But I have a secret: Sanebox. Sanebox is a service that I give access to my inbox and it manages all my email if I give it permission to do so. I've told Sanebox not to do anything unless I tell it to, and these are the Sanebox features I'm using to keep the sanity in my inbox:
Attachments: Sanebox will automatically take all the attachments to emails and save them to a cloud storage folder for me, helpful, but also keeping me beneath my email quota size.
Do Not Disturb: Sanebox can, either on a schedule, or when you tell it, move all incoming emails to a DoNotDisturb folder so your weekends, days off, or holidays can be left undisturbed, even if you check your email. After the designated period all the emails are moved back to your inbox.
Reminders of no reply: If I've emailed someone and they haven't replied I get a reminder that they haven't replied to me yet.
Reminders to action things: I can either CC or forward email to a SaneReminders email address to be reminded of that email later. For example, I'm meeting up with a wedding vendor friend in May because we're both busy, so I CC'd 8w@sanebox.com in on the email I sent to them saying I'll get in touch then, and that email will pop back into my inbox in eight weeks, reminding me to action that.
Reminders to myself: I'll write emails to my future self, address them to email addresses like december.15@sanebox.com, every.thursday@sanebox.com, every.septeber7@sanebox.com, or 1y@sanebox.com to be reminded in 1 year, and at that time the email comes back to my inbox.
Snoozing email: I can create snooze folders in Sanebox that I can then move email in to, to be snoozed until that time, like a SaneTomorrow folder that I can just snooze things in til tomorrow.
Blackhole: Some companies, spammers, scammers and others don't get the unsubscribe message. So if I never want to see an email from a certain company again, I move them to the SaneBlackHole folder and every email from them is moved there automatically, then deleted in 7 days.
Deep Clean: Sanebox can search for old email that's filling up your email quota and use AI to help you reduce that data size.
SaneCC folder: Every email that's not actually sent to me directly, but I'm CC'd in, all moved to a folder for me to review later.
News folder: I subscribe to a lot, so many, newsletters. I love them. I'm also an avid unsubscriber. But the newsletters I get are not urgent, they're entertainment, to be read later. So SaneNews moves them to the SaneNews folder automatically, and things that aren't newsletters, I move back to the inbox which trains Sanebox to know it's important, not news.
SaneLater: I don't use this feature but I know people love it. Sanebox detects emails it deems not important and moves them out of the inbox and into this folder.
Basically, Sanebox saved my life.
This Sanebox referral link gets you a $5 discount after a 14 day trial, plus it also gives me one free month, but you're also welcome to skip the referral link by just visiting sanebox.com. I highly recommend for sanity and so you can fall in love with your inbox again.
### Charissa and Scott got up real high in their wedding
In this episode of the Insights podcast episode - Insights level members can listen here - Josh interviews Charissa and Scott, who celebrated their marriage on August 1st, 2023, soaring above the Gold Coast in a hot air balloon, with Hampton Estate Wines as their plan B in case the hot air balloon couldn't fly that day.
They share their journey from planning to the big day, emphasising the personal touch and genuine connection they felt with their celebrant, Graham Snow. The couple highlights the importance of trust, creativity, and the celebrant's role in personalising the experience, making their day unforgettable. They also booked A Thousand Miles Photography for their wedding.
https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Charissa-and-Scott-got-up-real-high-in-their-wedding.mp3
Listen to the podcast to find out how Charissa and Scott made their decisions and found their wedding vendors including their celebrant.
Action points from this episode
Personal Connection: The couple's experience underlines the importance of building a genuine connection with clients. Celebrants should prioritise getting to know the couple personally, understanding their story, and incorporating elements that reflect their personalities and journey together into the ceremony.
Creative and Unique Offerings: Charissa and Scott's choice of a hot air balloon wedding signifies a trend toward unique and memorable wedding experiences. Celebrants should explore and suggest creative ideas and venues that align with the couple's vision and personality, differentiating their services in a competitive market.
Flexibility and Adaptability: The logistics of a hot air balloon wedding highlight the need for celebrants to be flexible and adaptable, capable of managing and excelling in unconventional settings. This adaptability can be a selling point, showcasing the celebrant's capability to handle diverse and challenging environments.
Marketing Unique Experiences: Use social media and your website to showcase unique weddings you've officiated, like Charissa and Scott's. Real stories resonate with potential clients and illustrate your versatility and creativity as a celebrant. Highlighting such experiences can attract couples looking for something beyond the traditional.
Strengthen Online Presence with Testimonials: Encourage clients to share their experiences and testimonials, particularly those involving unique ceremonies. Positive reviews and stories from couples about how you contributed to making their day special can significantly enhance your online presence and credibility.
Personal Branding Through Storytelling: Share stories and experiences from weddings you've officiated in your marketing materials and on social media. This storytelling approach not only showcases your services but also builds a brand that embodies uniqueness, creativity, and personal connection.
Their Celebrant: The decision to engage Graham Snow as their celebrant was based on his reputation for creating personalised and meaningful ceremonies. The couple emphasised the importance of having a celebrant who could understand and reflect their story and values. Graham's ability to connect with them on a personal level and his flexibility to accommodate their unique ceremony location were crucial factors.
Josh's summary
Listeners to the episode will no doubt be surprised how much this couple used Easy Weddings for their wedding planning. Maybe it's not the worst thing getting around?
### Take payments directly on your phone - no card reader!
A Celebrant Institute member was asking a question of us this week and mentioned taking payment in person. Sarah offered the correct advice that she might want to consider getting a Square card reader that you connect to your phone over Bluetooth so you can take credit card or debit card payments in person.
Which was great advice before May 2023, and I'd neglected to tell Celebrant Institute readers only because no-one asked and I do all my payments online using Stripe/Xero.
So here's the news: As of last year you can accept "Tap To Pay" payments directly on your iPhone.
From the Apple press release:
New capability empowers local businesses to seamlessly and securely accept contactless payments, using only an iPhone and a partner-enabled iOS app.
Apple today introduced Tap to Pay on iPhone in Australia, empowering local businesses of any size to accept in-person contactless payments on iPhone. From small to medium-sized businesses — including tradies and market stall holders — to large retailers and hospitality groups, merchants in Australia can now use their iPhone to seamlessly and securely accept Apple Pay, contactless credit and debit cards,1 and other digital wallets using their iPhone and a partner-enabled iOS app — no additional hardware or payment terminal needed.
In Australia, contactless payments are ubiquitous. Now, with the introduction of Tap to Pay on iPhone, Australian businesses can accept contactless payments from wherever they do business. Merchants can enable Tap to Pay on iPhone through a supporting iOS app on an iPhone Xs or later device running iOS 16.4 or later. Once enabled, merchants will simply prompt customers to hold their iPhone or Apple Watch to pay with Apple Pay, their contactless credit or debit card, or other digital wallet near the merchant’s iPhone, and the payment will be securely completed using NFC technology. Tap to Pay on iPhone also supports PIN entry, which includes accessibility options.
And not to leave our Android friends out, the same technology exists for them as well.
So the short of it is:
You need a new-enough phone
With the latest software updates
and finally, a merchant app like Square's, Westpac, NAB, or ANZ's ... and probably more to come as well.
The easiest way to access the technology is by installing the Square app on your phone - search in your app store - and if you sign up for Square using this referral link you get $1000 of transactions fee-free.
Once you're installed and set up you can now transact using the technology built-in to your phone instead needing a separate card reader.
For more information:
Apple's press release
Square's information page
Australian Payments Plus information page
### Madelin and Jeremy's Frogmore Creek wedding
Madelin and Jeremy had no idea how much Sue would cost but they were prepared to pay whatever Sue would cost because they were set on her without even knowing her fee.
In this Insights podcast interview, Madelin shares her journey towards marriage with Jeremy, from their engagement amidst the tumultuous times of 2021 to setting a wedding date for March 2025. We delve into the intricacies of their wedding planning, from venue selection to vendor choices, and how they chose Sue as their celebrant.
https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Madelin-and-Jeremys-Frogmore-Creek-wedding.mp3
Listen to the podcast here.
Here's some food for thought on Madelin's feedback.
Enhance Online Visibility and Engagement
Utilise Instagram Effectively: Given Madelin’s extensive use of Instagram to research and select vendors, having a strong, engaging presence on this platform is crucial. Share images and stories that showcase your unique approach to ceremonies and personality.
Video Content: Incorporate videos that demonstrate how you conduct ceremonies, as this was a key factor in Madelin’s decision-making. Hearing and seeing a celebrant in action can significantly influence a couple’s choice.
Personalisation and Relationship Building
Tailored Ceremonies: Emphasise your ability to customise ceremonies. Madelin valued a celebrant who tailors ceremonies to the couple, indicating a strong demand for personalized services.
Warm and Inviting Personality: Project a warm, loving, and approachable image in all your communications and marketing materials. The personality of the celebrant played a big role in their selection process.
Strategic Collaborations and Recommendations
Vendor Lists and Recommendations: Being listed as a recommended celebrant by venues or other vendors can significantly increase your exposure. Seek opportunities for collaborations and cross-promotions.
Transparent and Competitive Pricing
Clear Pricing Information: Provide clear, transparent pricing information on your website and social media. Madelin was unaware of the typical costs for celebrant services, indicating that upfront pricing could help couples in their decision-making process.
Competitive Pricing Strategy: Offer competitive pricing while highlighting the value you bring to a wedding ceremony. The decision to choose a celebrant was influenced by a combination of cost, personality, and the ability to personalize the service.
Positive Online Reviews and Testimonials
Showcase Testimonials and Reviews: Actively collect and showcase positive testimonials from couples. Madelin did her research by looking at what other couples had to say about their celebrants on social media and Google.
Professional Branding and Presentation
Invest in Professional Branding: Your online and offline branding should reflect the quality and style of your services. The celebrant’s vibrant dressing and modern branding were appealing and memorable to Madelin.
Comprehensive Online Content
Content Diversity: Offer a mix of content that includes not just photos but also videos and testimonials on your website and social media. Madelin’s decision was heavily influenced by being able to see and hear the celebrant in action through video content.
Active Engagement in the Wedding Community
Community Engagement: Engage with the wedding community both online and offline. Madelin valued recommendations from the venue and the ability to see the celebrant in action at other weddings.
Implementing these strategies, directly informed by Madelin and Jeremy’s wedding planning experience, can help Australian marriage celebrants connect more effectively with potential clients, showcasing the unique value they offer to the wedding experience.
### What return did I see from a $20k advertising investment last year?
Last year I had to start again after taking a year off. After 15 years of making weddings I took a break. Covid’s affects on our businesses had ripped my heart out, parenting never takes a day off, being a husband is my most important work, and no-one was getting the best of me. I was dropping the ball in all areas of life, so I refunded a bunch of weddings, asked many of you to cover for me for others, and Britt and I packed up the family and went to Mexico, then the USA, hopped-skipped-jumped through Austria, France, Liechtenstein, England, Italy, and Singapore to eventually come home to the Gold Coast, and now Hobart.
I think its important to evaluate, and re-evaluate, all elements of life on a regular basis so basically putting my entire celebrancy practice on ice was a pretty harsh way of finding out I still loved the art of celebrancy, I just had a really rough 2020-2022 and my therapist is impressed I’m still smiling - he does think I have a self-deprecating sense of humour though.
2012’s marketing efforts
I say all that to say that my marketing efforts when I started the business had changed from when I really put my foot on the gas in 2012 to 2022 when I put the whole thing in the freezer. In 2012 I was on Easy Weddings and blogging like a madman, plus the field of celebrants was different to now. I left Easy Weddings when I didn’t need to pay for their service in 2015 because my brand had grown significantly over that year and by pure momentum and brand awareness I made enough bookings. Knowing that you can only milk a cow for so long I continued marketing efforts, they evolved to a longer-term branding effort, not necessarily a “please book me now, I’d like to make money today” kind of marketing.
Fast forward to 2023 and reach from branding was lovely, but I needed to push-start this car from the zero kilometres per hour it was going in the freezer.
2023’s marketing efforts
I knew that the industry had changed, the celebrant population had changed, and the couples booking weddings were not just different but they had different means and ways of identifying which celebrant was the best for them.
Trust the experts
Sitting in our beachside casa in Mexico’s Baja California Sur in March 2023, the week that we booked flights home for August that year, I decided to trust the experts. Particularly because I was physically and brand-wise absent from the market they were promising to sell into.
Which experts?
Ask anyone in the wedding industry and they’ll have a strong opinion - for or against - the blogs, directories, and magazines, that all want to send you an invoice for marketing.
But so few of us actually have skin in that game, so few of us have bitten the bullet, put our best foot forward, and run a campaign with Easy Weddings, Hello May, Celebrante, etc, so I thought I would.
Common wisdom in business says to market on Facebook, Instagram, and Google search ads. In March 2023 at least, I felt that entering a crowded room meant I was trying to access to last few breaths of oxygen in a room where the air was already thin, like advertising in Times Square, does anyone actually see you there?
Plus these wedding advertising companies are all making great promises in aid of our business goals:
Easy Weddings asks “are you looking to book more weddings?” with an invitation to inquire with them.
Hello May writes “should you choose to spend your carefully saved, (and hard-earned), advertising dollars with us you’ll know you will always be in good company” promising that you’ll be in the right lineup for the right crime.
Together Journal presents that in their magazine, “now is a great time to come on board and get your brand out there in front of couples for future wedding bookings.”
Nouba says it’s “a valuable resource for couples to discover unique wedding vendors who they’ll truly love working with.”
Wedding Diaries will help you “gain the confidence of Australian couples planning their wedding.”
Wedlockers will “get (you) more recognition” while One Fine Day says it’s expos can make “magic happen.”
Wedding Qld emailed me this week promising that their “team are experts in wedding advertising in Queensland and will work with you to tell engaged couples how amazing your business is!”
Even the self-professed awarder of all the best awards in the country, ABIA, says that spending with them will help you “close more sales” because they “connect your business to thousands of newlyweds.”
Celebrante is also willing to throw you some leads at $40 a pop!
There are a lot of tubes of toothpaste but as Colgate used to say do they do “exactly what it says on the tube”? Do these companies do what they say on the tin?
Return on investment
In the marketing world you talk in terms of ROI, return on investment. A 5:1 return on investment is an average, normal, expected ROI. 10:1 is great, 2:1 is bad.
So if you spend $10,000 on marketing, you might expect $50,000 of sales as a direct result of that effort.
I spent a lot of money, did I get the return on investment?
What did I do and why?
Easy Weddings - they look to be the big mama of the wedding marketing industry. I started with a lightweight listing, then I stepped things up and chose the highest package listed across all states - $1,650 a month for six months, in total, $12,988 for the past year.
Wedding Diaries - I’d never heard of them but they ranked well on Google (and after some communication, seem to be run by lovely people) - $500 a year.
thecelebrantdirectory.com - some listings are just good for SEO, that’s what I hoped this UK-based directory listing would bring. - $30 AUD a month
WedShed - I love the team there, they’re genuinely lovely people who make a good product filled with passion - $80 a month
Polka Dot Wedding - they’ve been doing the good work of writing about meaningful and awesome weddings since before I started and they’re also lovely humans - $90 a month
Junebug Weddings - another SEO play plus a hope to reach a broader international market and higher end market - $35 a month
Isle Weddings - coming home to Australia we knew we wanted to eventually move to Tasmania and my friend Nina runs this magazine and website - $135.
Together Journal - it’s a good looking magazine promising a high end of town that likes to fly to other places to get wed - $850 for the year.
The Bridal Journey - a friend recommended this website because it was delivering a good ROI for him as a wedding photographer and at the time they had zero celebrants - $3200 a year.
Three Best Rated - these guys run a simple website that seems to be a pure SEO play, at no cost, but you can spend $90 to say thank you and get a certificate. I’m a believer in putting my money where my mouth is so I spent the $90 and said thank you - $90.
I stopped advertising with a few sites before the 12 months was up, so let’s say it’s a $20,000 spend.
What were the results
Did I see $100,000 of revenue from that?
That’s a big simple no.
Sales I can directly attribute to those efforts total about $30,000 with another $20,000 of sales that are not directly linked to any of those efforts, but the benefits of branding can never be totally attributed. A common old-school saying in sales was that people needed seven touch points before closing a sale, one might be a billboard, another a magazine advert, then you might call them, have a meeting, send the email, et cetera, and the sale is made.
Many of the other websites delivered an average of zero to two website referrals a month. Wedding Diaries was the only one that delivered more than single digits each month.
I'm honestly embarrassed for many of the others that have seemingly built houses on sand. I can speak personally of Wedshed, the team there are investing heavily in bucking this trend and building the platform to be something usable and meaningful in the marketplace.
In preparation for this piece many of you got in touch corroborating my personal findings. Most of you have a similar story to me, and Grace, who said that “after 5 months being listed on Easy Weddings, I’ve received a total of 26 enquiries, and only one booking. Vast majority of enquiries ghost after their first message. From the few that do respond, several have said I’m out of their price range. So far I’ve invested $1100 at $220/month and am locked in for 12 months. Can’t wait to get out there!”
I met with my Easy Weddings account manager last week, and in preparation for that meeting I went through every single enquiry in “WedCRM” and compiled these numbers:
for the past 12 months I’ve spent $12,988 with Easy Weddings and can directly report a $8,852 return in revenue from that spend.
the platform reports that my listing has had 117,627 views, which had converted into 2,818 storefront views (storefront being my profile/page), which in some way contributed to 156 enquiries in my inbox
I’m no wiser as to how many of those enquiries actually chose me directly or they came indirectly by Easy Weddings pumping the enquiries channel by getting enquiries through other celebrant storefronts which is a practice they engage in, but apparently less than 5% of enquiries are made that way.
91% of my enquiries never even replied to my emails, text messages and calls.
I was a part of the new wedding packages program and zero packages were enquired about and sold.
So what now?
Well, now that I know that an investment is not returning good dividends, I take my money, time, and efforts elsewhere.
The only directories I’m on today are on Wedding Diaries - those guys have done the work to rank well on Google, plus they link to my website (unlike Easy Weddings) - and I’ve made more money off my $500 Wedding Diaries spend than I have from my almost $13k Easy Weddings spend - and Wedshed, because they're building something new and I trust them.
I’m investing heavily into SEO because I’m in a new market in Hobart so it’s a whole new set of work. I do my own web and SEO work - if you’d like my help in that, get in touch.
I’m also doing the hard work of connecting with every single venue and wedding planner in the region, building relationship - genuine relationship - making compromises and efforts to become someone they know and might recommend to the right people.
Finally, here at the Celebrant Institute we’re launching a new tier of membership and a new podcast called Premium Insights where every week I’m going to be on the phone with real couples planning their real weddings asking them how they’re making their booking, buying, purchasing decisions. How did they meet their vendors, through what channels, and how did they ascertain trust and quality in their vendors. How does each social network, directory, magazine, affect their decision-making process, and what was it about their vendors that closed the deal?
Want to hear that podcast with real couples? Become a Premium Insights member today. $25 a month or get a month free when you sign up for a year. Existing members can upgrade by logging on to members.celebrant.institute and changing their plan.
### The Photographer, The Dress, and The Celebrant
One of our members sent in this incredible story today. With their permission I'm sharing it with you all (a) because they're an incredible story teller and I think you'll all enjoy it, and (b) because there's learnings in there for all of us. First the story, then my response.
I performed my first wedding on Saturday. The venue was a small historic chapel that's now a wedding venue. Very beautiful. Everything went well and I was told afterwards that I was amazing and flawless, so that was good. But the experience gave me a huge "takeaway" that I now refer to as "The Photographer, The Dress, And Me".
So I arrive 45 minutes early, psyched and ready to go. There had been no rehearsal, but that's okay. I've rehearsed by myself over and over, I can do this. The coordinator greets me and shows me to a narrow platform, one step high, running the width of the chapel, at the end of the aisle. There's a signing table and chairs at one side. An arrangement of plinths with floral displays across the back. I'm told that the couple, best man, bridesmaid, and I will all be standing on this narrow platform. It doesn't seem like a lot of space for five people, plus the signing table and the flowers.
Stretching across the back of the narrow platform is another step leading to a larger space that spreads out beneath the stained glass window and which would hold all of us very comfortably. But that space is empty. I suppose it would be putting too much distance between the couple and their guests if it was used. Fair enough. Not to worry. All will be fine on the narrow platform.
Then the photographer approaches and asks if I would please stand to the side for the duration of the ceremony, so the focus is all on the couple. He doesn't want a third wheel in his pictures. I see his point, so I agree. But I let him know that I'll have to move into the couple's space at a few points during the ceremony so they can speak into the microphone. Yep, that's fine, all good. So I decide to stand on the side that does not have the signing table. That way I'll have more room. It'll look more balanced. Everyone's happy.
So I'm standing there, just a little to the side, as the music starts and the doors open. The bride comes in and wow! What a dress! It's stunning. And it's BIG.
Like, she-can't-properly-get-through-the-chapel-doors-with-her-father, BIG. And it has a train. At first I'm struck by what a vision she is. But then as she comes closer, I'm struck by something else.
Logistics.
Will there be enough room on the narrow platform for The Dress?
The bride is helped up the step by her groom. They stand facing each other as the bridesmaid arranges The Dress and its train so it spreads out across the narrow platform. Right where I'm standing. I keep taking steps back but swathes of shimmering white are advancing like an incoming tide. I take more steps, trying to make more room. But there are plinths, and a wall, and a bridesmaid, and now I'm stuck in a corner, trapped by yards of silk chiffon.
What am I going to do? Can people still see me? Do I look ridiculous wedged against the wall? I take a breath, move forward a couple of steps, and yes, everyone can see me. I'm a bit further back than I'd planned, but it's going to be okay. I start speaking. All is going well. But now the couple are looking back at me, not at each other; the bride twisting her head over her shoulder so she can see me. With subtle eye movements I try to tell them to gaze into each other's eyes, not mine. At least, I think they're subtle movements and hopefully I don't look like one of those beannie toys with the googly eyes rolling around.
They eventually get the message, and look at each other, but now I'm starting to wish I wasn't standing here. And as it approaches vow time, with the necessity for me to move into their space, the full impact of The Dress becomes clear.
I really am trapped. How do I get across to the bride and groom without stepping on The Dress? Do I climb up the next step and walk across the larger area at the back, and then climb back down again, pushing my way through the floral arrangements like I'm hacking through the jungle with a microphone? No. Instead I do a sort of sideways shuffle, squeezing between the plinths and the dress like an elegant crab, smiling warmly with every step. And there's a ripple of soft laughter from the guests. Okay, good. They understand my predicament. They get it.
When the vows are finished, I decide to move to the other side of the narrow platform, and stand with the signing table and the best man while I finish the ceremony. Here I can breathe. Here I have space. But as I wind things up, my mind is racing. Did I look ridiculous? Was it awkward and clumsy? Have I spoilt everything? And...why did I not move as soon as I realised what was happening? Why did I still follow the photographer's request when it became obvious that it would be problematic? I should have owned the situation more. Why didn't I express my concerns to the coordinator when I arrived? Because I'm new and inexperienced, I know.
But also, because no-one could have anticipated The Dress.
So now I have learned three things from my first wedding which I will always remember:
Firstly, always ask about the size of the actual ceremony space - don't assume just because I've seen a venue ahead of time that the space I'm shown is the space that will be used.
Secondly, listen to the photographer and coordinator but don't let them dictate where I stand if I don't think it will work. Speak up if I have concerns or questions.
And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, always, always, ask about the size of The Dress.
Next wedding is in April. You can be sure I'll be asking all these questions in advance.
What a rollercoaster!
Here's a few things I came up with that might help this celebrant in the future (other than those they'd already identified!)
I ran a lot of rehearsals in my early years, particularly in venues I'd never worked in before. It saved my bacon once in my first year when, like this celebrant, I discovered a tiny little stage that was definitely not going to fit the 2 groomsmen and 2 bridesmaids on either side of the couple as is tradition - one side was completely taken up with the signing table. We ended up with them all on one side, girls in front of boys, sort of staggered so the boys could be seen, and I stood in front of the table. I was much relieved to have discovered that at rehearsal where we could troubleshoot it and end up with the best solution, rather than discovering it on the day!
I would have asked the coordinator why the back space wasn't being used - there may have been a reason, or it might simply be something nobody had thought of before. Sometimes in a space like that the couple will actually stand up on the back/top space with everyone else on the step, allowing a bit more room for the dress. At the very least, could the plinths with flowers and/or the table be shifted to the back space? Always feel free to challenge and ask questions about why something has been set up the way it has. Never worry about things like distance between couple and guests - that's really not a drama.
It's not okay for the photographer to dictate where we stand. It's totally fine for them to ask us to be out of the way for the kiss, but everything else is up to us and the couple, and I know this celebrant will definitely build the confidence to stand their ground on that one. The wedding goes for, what, six hours? There's plenty of time for the photographer to get photos just of the couple without anyone else in them. The half hour of the ceremony is ours to choreograph.
Now where the celebrant stands is an important discussion to have with your couple, especially if you're not holding a rehearsal. Many celebrants offer their couples a choice, but I tend to tell them what I do and I've rarely had an argument. This article explains it all: https://celebrant.institute/ceremony/where-i-stand-during-the-ceremony-sarahs-view/
In terms of the bride craning over her shoulder to look at the celebrant, as you'll see in that article I like the couple to face their guests for the first part of the ceremony. They can see everyone's reactions, and they can see the celebrant more easily if they're standing at the side. Plus staring at each other for 30 minutes is weird and awkward :)
Feel free to not be subtle when you're telling the couple what to do during the ceremony. During my paragraph just before I pronounce them married, they're facing each other holding hands and one or both of them will often try to look at me and I will literally say out loud "look at her, not at me!" It always gets a laugh, and works perfectly. I give my couples choreography instructions out loud all through the ceremony, and at the beginning when I'm making sure they're in the middle of the aisle etc I'll often say "yes, I'm very bossy!" which also gets a good laugh and breaks the ice a bit.
Above all, I suggested that this celebrant not beat themselves up. They were put in an untenable position by other vendors who frankly should know better. They didn't own the situation more because it was their first wedding and they assumed the other vendors knew what they were talking about! It takes time to build the confidence to stand up to more experienced vendors, and I promise it will come with time.
I thought in all, the celebrant should be really pleased with themselves. They're absolutely winning here - they got amazing feedback, and they've reflected and learned some great lessons. It's all upwards from here!
Do you have any advice for this celebrant or others reading this?
### Interstate online BDM systems
Sutha asks:
I am registered in NSW, but will be getting a close friend married in Melbourne. Can I get access to BDM RIO? or is it limited to Victorian celebrants? A blog post about all the different electronic lodgement systems and who can have access to it will be very helpful to newbies like me.
Great question mainly because it's simpler than it seems but some registry's get weird about it.
As celebrants we have a federal authority to marry, that works across all state borders, and the Births, Deaths, and Marriages registries don't get to choose which celebrants come into their state to marry, we're allowed to and the BDM merely must receive and register the marriage.
I perform marriage ceremonies in all the states and I'm registered in all the online BDM systems where there is one, and the only two BDMs that raised an eye were Tasmania and Western Australia. Tasmania questioned me simply because I wasn't on their register of celebrants so I pointed them to the AGD website. Western Australia said their system was for locals only, I replied with a friendly WTF, and they replied with an invitation to register for their online system.
So as of February 2024 here's how you register marriages in each state and territory:
Queensland has BDM online's service provider portal
New South Wales has Lifelink
Victoria has RIO
Tasmania the Tasmanian Online Marriage Registration Service
Western Australia has the BDM online portal
ACT has an email inbox
South Australia has a website now that doesn't work
Northern Territory has a PO Box
### On paying for a NSW Official Certificate of Marriage
Sutha asks:
I used the electronic system LifeLink to complete all the forms and lodge the marriage. I received an email with the registration number. Is there anything else I need to do? Are there any payments that need to be made for the lodgement of the ceremony? I am not sure how useful this would be as a post idea, but I tried to look this up and couldn't find any information about it. Even with my course, it had detailed everything up until lodging the marriage, but no information about the email receipt etc.
Each state BDM has its own way of dealing with ordering marriage certificates after marriage registration.
NSW's online system, Lifelink, gives celebrants registering a marriage the opportunity to order a marriage certificate for the couple being married before the marriage is submitted, and for a short number of weeks after, you can order and pay for the certificate.
Is the registration ok?
Lifelink was a controversial project, first proposed in 2002, it cost almost $50 million to bring it to life, but one of the small blessings it brought was surety to celebrants that the marriage was registered properly, and then we could order certificates for our couples.
If you've received that confirmation email with the registration number and it says it's fine, then it's fine, they'll let you know if it's not.
Who pays for the certificate?
The text I've always been looking for is who is "allowed" to order a marriage certificate for the couple, like in Queensland for example the BDM is asking the couple to order and pay for their certificate, however in NSW and Victoria (sharing similar system code) the celebrant can order the certificate and then pay for it.
New South Wales Births, Deaths, and Marriages says "it's much quicker for marriages registered online by your marriage celebrant. Check with your celebrant if they can apply for a marriage certificate for you." Further on the website they continue their vague messaging with a "Celebrants may apply for certificates on behalf of the couple after they perform the ceremony. To apply for a marriage certificate order online when using eRegistry's online portal, or mail the application form and fee to the Registry along with marriage paperwork to be lodged for registration."
In a December 2015 email the NSW BDM says of Lifelink: "You can order a registered marriage certificate online for your couples, which will be posted the next business day after registration."
So to read between the lines here the BDM in NSW is
fine with us ordering it and paying for it, and
they don't say we can't, so I charge my clients to cover the fee.
You also do not have to order your couple's Official Certificate of Marriage, and there's no advantage to shit-talking other celebrants that do or don't order the OCM for people, and do or don't charge, in case you were wondering :)
### When can a celebrant marry a couple overseas and without a NOIM?
Did you know that in a very specific circumstance a certain kind of celebrant can marry a certain kind of couple in a country that isn't Australia - and it's all allowed by Australian law, plus it's a valid Australian marriage?
Out of the current (2021) Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants you'll find the answer on page 100:
The Marriage Act allows marriages to be solemnised overseas by, or in the presence of a, Defence Force chaplain (chaplain) or a Defence Force officer authorised by the Chief of the Defence Force (officer), in limited circumstances.
One party to the intended marriage must be a member of the Australian Defence Force. Part V of the Marriage Act only concerns marriages of members of the Defence Force overseas. (Previous provisions in Part V of the Marriage Act that enabled Australian consular officials to solemnise marriages were revoked on 1 January 1993.)
Defence Force chaplains and officers are authorised, under Part V of the Marriage Act, to solemnise marriages in overseas countries where at least one party is a member of the Defence Force. Part V of the Marriage Regulations deals with the solemnisation of marriages overseas.
For the purpose of Part V, an 'overseas country' means a country or place other than a part of the Queen's dominions, and includes a vessel which is for the time being in the territorial waters of such a country or place. In time of war, 'overseas country' may be given an extended meaning to include a part of the Queen's dominion that is occupied by a State at war with the Commonwealth.
An authorised celebrant cannot solemnise marriages outside Australia under the Marriage Act unless they are a chaplain or officer in the Defence Force (and one of the parties to the marriage is a member of the Defence Force).
No NOIM is required for a marriage solemnised by a chaplain or officer. The form of declaration as to conjugal status to be made by the parties is the same as that approved for marriages in Australia. The forms of marriage certificates are the same as those used for marriages in Australia. The provisions of Part Il (marriageable age and marriage of minors) of the Marriage Act do apply to marriages solemnised overseas by chaplains or officers.
For the rest of us wanting to do weddings overseas, we'll do it like I do, legal paperwork in Australia before the trip, and a commitment/wedding-like ceremony overseas where we have no authority and the Marriage Act regulations don't apply to us.
### New "stuff” to include in your wedding ceremonies
Karen asks:
I would like “new stuff” to include in my ceremonies. I am constantly trying to energise/refresh my writing and always focusing on making them better/different; I don’t want to be a Celebrant that just regurgitates the same old stuff and changes the couples names. That’s not my style from the moment I became a Celebrant. I do find watching videographers social media and capturing snippets from ceremonies kicks my brain along, plus I'm always focusing on being a strong wordsmith in my ceremonies to capture the essence of my couples stories. Anything you can do to provide growth in new ways/things to include/new rituals/creative ceremonies would be great. Maybe something along the lines of questions for couples that we may not have thought about to enhance what we do.
This is a really good question, Karen, so I wanted to share my reply with all the members.
Here's how I go about finding new "stuff" for my wedding ceremonies, feel free to take what suits you and leave what doesn't:
Song lyrics, movies, books: I'm always looking for lyrics that I could pull out, not as a reading, but as a pivot point or to call upon to make a point.
Storytelling Workshops: Participate in a workshop or course that focuses on storytelling techniques. This can help you develop new methods for gathering compelling narratives from your couples and incorporating them into your ceremonies.
Writing Prompts: I look for those writing prompts often being sold on social media to spark creativity. These can be questions or scenarios that challenge you to think outside the box and can lead to fresh and engaging content for your ceremonies.
Interview Techniques: I'm always trying to develop my interview skills with couples to dig deeper into their story and what makes them tick. If there's a course, a book, a blog post about a great interviewer, I'm reading it.
Collaboration with Other Creatives: Connect with other creative professionals, such as writers or poets, to collaborate on ceremony content and to learn from them. This cross-pollination of ideas can lead to incredibly unique and personalised ceremonies. I know for a while there a friend of mine, Ben Ager, was offering courses in this fashion from his work as an actor and I wish I could have attended one.
Feedback: Implement a feedback mechanism with your past couples. Their insights on what resonated with them can inform your approach to future ceremonies. In the end, you've gotta give the people what they want.
Try: Finally, I love elopement ceremonies with zero or few guests because that's where I try out new bits. I give them a try, if they work, I keep on working on them, and if they don't I drop them. Watch Taylor Tomlinson workshop a closing joke to her special. My "bits" and ceremony "stuff" go through the same process.
### Be exceptional
If your celebrant offering, your service, the thing you're selling, is the same as everyone else's, or appears the same, or you portray it as the same, then potential clients will look for the lowest price.
Raise your rates. Create demand. Separate yourself from the masses. Create your own unique identity and persona. Offer them a customised service, a unique service, a service no-one else can buy.
Forget copying other people's routines, tricks, ceremonies because this only makes them common - and common is average - and average only commands an average price.
Instead of being average, be exceptional.
### Report of the Senate Inquiry into the AG Portfolio Miscellaneous Measure Bill 2023
As of June 12 2024 remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms is now law and you can visit this page for an update.
As mentioned in previous posts, the Bill containing amendments to the Marriage Act was referred to the Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs Legislation Committee for review before being passed. The Celebrant Institute was pleased to make a submission to this Inquiry.
The Senate Inquiry released their report on 1 February 2024, right on time, and they are supportive of the passing of the Bill with no changes to the suggested amendments to the Marriage Act:
Recommendation 2
2.75 The committee recommends that, subject to the passage of the Bill, the Attorney-General’s Department amend the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants to reflect the requirements for a celebrant to hold a separate meeting with each party to the marriage before it is solemnised. The amendments should provide information as to how the meetings might operate in practice and how consent can be determined.
Recommendation 3
2.80 The committee recommends the Bill be passed.
There's a lot of info in the report that isn't relevant to the Marriage Act amendments (because the Bill is an omnibus bill making changes to several pieces of legislation), but I was really pleased to see discussion of the issues I had raised concerns about. They didn't end up agreeing with me, which is totally fine, but I was pretty chuffed that we were specifically mentioned and our arguments acknowledged:
2.71 In relation to the proposed amendments to the Marriage Act, the committee appreciates the intent of the Bill to ensure that the operation of the Marriage Act is efficient and operates in a manner that is fit for purpose for both marriage celebrants and parties to a marriage.
2.72 The committee commends the attention being paid to the issue of free and informed consent, especially given that forced marriages are still likely to occur in Australia. However, the committee is concerned that in seeking to enhance the accessibility of marriage through the remote witnessing of the NOIM, the Bill may simultaneously create an additional barrier not in line with the spirit of this reform. The requirement for a celebrant to meet separately with both parties to the marriage prior to its solemnisation could place an additional burden on marriage celebrants that may not achieve the intended purpose of confirming consent.
2.73 The committee in particular recognises the arguments made by the Celebrant Institute, outlining the practical difficulties in facilitating such meetings and the lack of guidance provided on how they should be approached in order to ensure free and informed consent to marry.
2.74 The committee therefore sees benefit in the AGD updating the Marriage Act Guidelines for authorised celebrants, to clarify how proposed section 42B of the Marriage Act will operate in practice and to ensure celebrants are properly supported in their meetings with each party to a marriage, and in determining consent.
So that's that. There is a dissenting report included that suggests the Bill be split so that a rather contentious change to the Native Title Respondents Scheme can be dealt with separately, but that's not the majority view of the Committee. Now we wait again and see what the Senate decides to do with the report and the Bill as a whole.
### What is every other Australian celebrant charging in 2024?
Today we answer the question we always wonder: how much is everyone else? When I did my first wedding expo in 2012 after having been a celebrant for three years already, the average price was $550 for a ceremony. Today, some people are still charging this, but luckily the average has almost doubled.
I remember hearing Dally Messenger years ago say that "you can't make a living as a celebrant" but the good news is that today, you can.
In January we asked Australian celebrants to complete a survey. Of the 10,339 authorised marriage celebrants in Australia, 297 responded, giving us a 2.87% response rate, and this is our analysis of the survey results.
These are the questions we asked:
Do you have plans to increase your fee in the next six months?
Is your celebrancy practice your primary or only source of income for your household or family?
How many local weddings would you like to do in a regular year at your regular local wedding price?
Where do you think you are positioned price-wise in your local market?
What level of service do you provide for those fees?
Legals-only, regular package, and max package prices.
Celebrants planning to raise their price, and who of us is full time?
About 47% of celebrants are planning to increase their fee in the next six months, which is not a crazy idea considering how our cost of living has expanded so rapidly, inflation and interest rates continue to increase, and most of us are not celebrants for charity, but it provides for our families to some degree.
To what degree is celebrancy putting a roof over a head you ask? 12% of the respondents rely on celebrancy as a primary or only income. 76% rely on celebrancy as a secondary income and just under 12% of us are doing it for fun.
How much?
Legals-Only Ceremonies:
Average Price: $552.
New South Wales has the most expensive legals-only fee, Northern Territory has the cheapest.
Regular celebrant fee
The question stipulated: This fee is what you would regard as your "regular" fee, for your most popular package, for a wedding without extras, without travel, including a PA system if you price that separately. Including GST if you are registered for GST.
Minimum Price: $280
Maximum Price: $2,500
Average Price: $1,029
For the first time the average fee for a celebrant in Australia has jumped across the mythical $1000 mark.
We also asked celebrants what their maximum fee was, if the couple ticked all the option boxes, and bought the maximum package. All of the fees mentioned in this survey are to be ex-travel. The most expensive invoice being sent by a celebrant was $5,000 and the average maximum fee was $1,491.
The cheapest place to get married in Australia by a celebrant is the Northern Territory and the most expensive place to get married is Canberra, closely followed by New South Wales and South Australia.
The data also suggests that there is a slight tendency for celebrants who plan to conduct more weddings in a year to charge higher fees, especially for regular and maximum price categories.
Service-level and price-in-market self assessments
I thought it would be interesting to ask respondents to self-assess where they felt they were in their marketplace price-wise and service-wise.
Did they think they were cheap, expensive, or average? Did they think they were delivering a five-star service, or less?
The average price-in-market assessment was 6 our of 10, so most of us think we're slightly above average price-wise, whilst the average service-level self-assessment is five out of five thank God.
Celebrants who rate themselves higher in the market price assessment tend to charge more, especially for regular and maximum prices. This suggests that celebrants' perception of their market position correlates somewhat with their pricing strategies.
The service level self-assessment doesn't show a strong correlation with the fees charged. This could mean that celebrants' perception of their service quality is not a major factor in how they set their prices, or that the quality of service is perceived uniformly high across different price points.
### Tori Brown's Path to Passion and Purpose
In this enlightening episode of the Celebrant Talk Show, host Josh Withers delves into the captivating world of new celebrants with guest Tori Brown from Grace and Soul Celebrancy. A recent graduate of the Certificate IV in Celebrancy at the Celebrant Institute, Tori shares her unique and inspiring journey towards becoming a celebrant.
Throughout the conversation, Tori opens up about her personal experiences that shaped her path, including a life-altering tragedy and her unexpected venture into public speaking. Her story is a powerful reminder of the profound impact of life events on our career choices and the importance of embracing life’s precious moments.
Josh and Tori explore the transformation from fear to confidence in public speaking, the significance of creating lasting memories for couples, and the challenges of establishing oneself in a competitive market. This episode not only offers an intimate look into the life of a new celebrant but also serves as a valuable resource for anyone considering a career in celebrancy.
Tune in to this episode of the Celebrant Talk Show to discover how Tori Brown transformed adversity into a passion for helping others celebrate their most cherished moments. Whether you're a budding celebrant or simply interested in the intricacies of this unique profession, this episode is a must-listen!
Transcript:
Josh
- Welcome to another episode of the Celebrant Talk Show. My name is Josh Withers, I'm your host today. And I've got a really exciting episode as part of our series talking to new Celebrants, Celebrants that have graduated from the Certificate IV in Celebrancy at the Celebrant Institute. And today's is another rip-off. If you wanna listen to more episodes, celebrant.fm is the website to go to to find links to subscribe to your podcast app. And of course also to listen to episodes just on the web. And if you're interested in the Cert IV, if you're interested in studying to become a Celebrant, plus also if you actually are a Celebrant today and you'd like more help and guidance and mentoring in your business, then we have a membership program for you at celebrant.institute.
Tori
My name is Tori Brown. I own Grace and Soul Celebrancy, based on, of course, the study that I did with the Celebrant Institute. I am located at the moment in the northern Gold Coast, which is obviously a very beautiful part of Australia. When I became a Celebrant, I'm only a very new Celebrant. I'm a little baby Celebrant. I completed my study in May 2022. I finally got registered 11 weeks and five days from submission of my documents. And that was in August last year, in 2022. And so now I have been a Celebrant for around eight to nine months. So yeah, very much in the baby stages, very much still in the realm of figuring out business, understanding what this Celebrant life looks like, and yes, thinking about the future and what that might look like for me.
Josh
- When I went to school, there was absolutely zero little kids who wanted to be a Celebrant. I think the hot topics were pilot, a lot of firefighters. There were a couple of service people, kind of army whatnot. Couple of mechanics, we're talking grade four, grade five here. Zero Celebrants. So it's not really one of those careers that someone's dreamt about being from, when I was a little kid. So why? Why did you become a Celebrant? What's your Genesis story?
Tori
I suppose my genesis story is probably too pronged,
Josh
(upbeat music)
Tori
and this is going to get pretty deep pretty quickly, so I apologize. When I was 16, I was in a car accident, which also took the life of my younger sister, who was 13 at the time. That was obviously a very life-defining time in my life, but it also gave me an incredible key to understand that life is so incredibly precious and very short, and it can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye. I suppose from that respect, I then had, at a very young age, an insight into life that most people don't get until they're a little bit older. And so from then on, I made a pact to myself, if not with her, then for her. And so it's pretty much been go from there. So I finished school, went to university, I bought a house, I've moved up here, and everything that I do, I'm just full speed ahead. I'm sure you can ask all of my friends, and they'll say the same thing. The actual reason why I became a celebrant is that I was asked a significant amount of times to be MC for my friend's weddings. And truth be told, I absolutely hate public speaking. It makes me paralyzingly nervous. I don't even know if that's a word, but it feels like it is. It makes me so incredibly nervous. I get dry in the mouth. I get this red rash all over my chest that then develops up my neck and over my face. And so to be honest, I absolutely-- of course, I couldn't say no. I felt like I couldn't say no to my friends. And I do have an aura, I would say, when I walk into a room that everyone gravitates towards me. So I do have the personality for it, but my public speaking was just not up to scratch. And I felt that. I felt it in every part of my being. And I'm also what I would probably class as a perfectionist, so I wanted to make sure I did a good job. Ultimately, the only thing that really could make me do better is to put myself in the firing line and continue to practice public speaking. So I was looking at Toastmaster classes or other ways that I could do it. I started to put my hand up at my full-time job to do workshops and stuff to really put myself in the cauldron of fire. And then I was attending a friend's wedding. And to be honest, I was sitting there, and the celebrant was-- I would say the standard of the celebrant was very low, very, very low. And I thought to myself, surely I could do this. Surely this could be something that I could do. Number one, fix my fear of public speaking. Well, not fix it, but help me expose myself more to this. And number two, you obviously capture people in the most incredible time in their life. They're so excited. They're excited for the future. They're in a big old love bubble. Their families are so excited. And for me, that's really what the essence of all that is. And I suppose that links back to the original part of the story, which if I'm not sure if you've been in this situation, but when you lose someone that's very close to you, you realize the-- what is the word? I suppose you realize how important creating memories with those closest to you is. And for me to be a part of creating a seamless memory for someone on their special day, surrounded by their family and all their closest friends, that's the greatest gift that I can ever give. And yeah, if that's my piece of what I do for the world is to create a little bit of sunshine and allow people to have beautiful memories with their nearest and dearest, then that's all I could ever hope for.
Josh
- Yeah, I do understand that.
Tori
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Josh
I haven't lost someone to the same circumstance that you have and I'm deeply sorry for your loss, but it's also definitely worth noting as you have that, that I feel like any situation in life, whether it's just something really mediocre, like being handed a coffee or something much deeper and more important, that there's always two ways you can kind of rebound from that. And I look at my own childhood and my brother and we've both kind of rebounded separately. Like when you throw a tennis ball to the ground, it's not guaranteed to go left or right every time. And so that's a phenomenal path that you've taken. And what a Genesis story, 'cause I feel like you talked to most celibates, I don't know if you've talked to many, but most of us saw a wedding
Tori
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Josh
and thought one or two things, that was terrible, I can do way better. Or that was awesome, I can do that. Which are both valid and awesome ways of becoming a celibate, but for yours to be emboldened
Tori
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Josh
with something much more, I was gonna say important, but I don't wanna take away from other people's stories, but just something that's more valuable is really beautiful. So congratulations, good on you. The question I've got now though, is a little bit more practical. There's a difference between wanting something and getting it. All of us can drive past a Maserati and think that'd be cool. But to have your own is a completely different task. So what do you do? Do you ask Siri, how do I become a celibate? What are those steps you took to become, well obviously you studied with the Celibate Institute and then applied, but yeah, how did you figure out what to do? (upbeat music) - The rest is history, that's beautiful. Yeah, and much love to all those other celibates. We call a word of mouth what it really was or into the house held a gun to the head. So come on, mate, someone asks you, no. That's cool, I love it. The search for isn't what a lot of people think it is 'cause I suppose when people think about becoming a celibate or an officiant for the Americans, they think about Joey from Friends or just, you know, the numerous people in pop culture that have just applied for a license online. What was your expectation of the search for versus actually doing it? (upbeat music) - Yeah, we do find that most people are kind of surprised, not just at the study, 'cause the study is the study, and you've been to university, so you're aware of what study is. Me, not so much. Every time I approach something like that, like, "Oh, wow, you guys really need me "to know a lot of stuff here." But the other surprise is just with what is contained within the role of being a celebrant. What was, was there something strange for you in regards to the role of a celebrant, like the common one is, "Oh my gosh, "you can marry your uncle." Any other weird ones for you? (upbeat music) I like that. Becoming a celebrant, you said it took almost exactly three months, well, you missed out on a few days there, but the three month limit. How did it feel that second that you get that notice that you are a celebrant? (upbeat music) What's your go to market plan? You obviously thought about it through doing a study and waiting for the application to be approved. But what's your thing that you're bringing to the market that makes you different and unique from other people? And then how does it kind of, how does that roll out over the next one, five, 10,000 years? (upbeat music) - Yeah, 100%. That's obviously the biggest differentiator between Celebrants is we are selling ourselves. It's funny, I talk to a lot of Celebrants in Europe through mentoring and coaching sessions over there and they get really big on all the trinkets and the stuff and I'm like, man, there's enough people offering trinkets and stuff, but it's like a one in three trillion chance you exist. That between your parents meeting and falling in love and then to all of a sudden to have a child and then once they decide to have a child, that all of that stuff works out. If you don't know what that means, kids get on Google. And then for the fact that you were born and that you survived birth and you go through those first few years, like that's a one in three trillion chance. Like you are a unique individual. You're like no other. Even like if you or someone else sat at my feet and you kind of don't sit like that's a metaphor. No one actually has to sit at my feet. (laughs) But if you kind of attended all my weddings with me and we sat in the office for 40 hours a week and just kind of me sharing all of me, you still aren't gonna be me. You might be heavily Josh influenced and some of my see you at a wedding, you go, hey, they've studied under Josh, but you're still gonna be you. And so that's not only your biggest strength, but it's literally all you're selling. And that's kind of beautiful to be liberated from that point that you don't have to have, I don't know, the cool things that cool people have. Just you being you was great. And yes, there's accessories, get a good PA system, maybe have a car that is a kind of you're respectable to turn up in. (laughs) Yeah, maybe get a haircut. I don't know, things like that. But at the core, you're just you. And so I'm glad you recognize that. How are you going now? What's your current status? Anything I can help or talk to? (upbeat music) - Where I'm at, so that's, sorry. Yeah, so that's, I'm still sort of understanding, still trying to figure out, as you would probably know coming from the Gold Coast, the Southeast Queensland market is desperately oversaturated and also that means that the pricing is pretty low in comparison to other parts of the country. But as I said, I'm not willing to, I'm not willing to bargain on my pricing and I know the value that I bring to my couples. So I'm standing pretty staunch with that. And yeah, the celebrant community here is incredible as well. I feel really lucky. - I will say that in an oversaturated market like that, there's still opportunities, particularly when, and I can say this 'cause you're not doing it, and so I apologize to anyone that hears this and is doing it 'cause you might be offended, but looking at a market like that and going, "Well, I'll just go cheaper," is the laziest method of trying to conquer that market. Only, there's room for low-cost things. Jetstar is a thing. Solly's or Crazy Clark's or whatever $2 store, they are things. There's a market for that. But if you notice those operations, particularly if you look at Jetstar, it's a highly systemized, there is a big corporate structure behind being that cheap. There's a whole system there. And so people take the lazy route and actually it's more work. It's harder, it's worse for them, it's yuck. So the easier route in the long run, which is the harder route in that first step, is to actually say, "I'm actually going to be a highly valued member "of this society that provides high value." And high value doesn't just mean dollars. It means all the other things it's going to provide. But it also means dollars. Because everyone else is entering the market and going, "Well, I guess I'll just go cheaper." So everyone's going cheaper and the market, not everyone in the market wants cheap. I like to fly Qantas. And that's not some kind of status symbol. It's just like, "I'm aware of the value I get "for the particular purchase, "and particularly for traveling with the family. "I've got status and you get bags and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." There's a reason for not choosing the cheap option there. And so if you are providing value and if you can communicate that value well, then there's room at the other end of the market, as opposed to everyone racing to the bottom of the market. Because in the end, if you win that race, guess what? You're earning the least amount of money. Congratulations. Yeah, that's... [silence] Yeah, no, it's much better to be operating the higher value end of the market. It's just better for your soul, better for your joy, better for everything, better for everyone, because your couples are getting better product because you don't have to do 400 weddings a year because, yeah, the match is just better. And all it takes is that one simple decision to say, "Hey, I'm going to do better. I'm going to charge more," etc. And everything just kind of ricochets from there. So good work. All right, well, look, I just want to congratulate you on becoming a Sullivan. It's the best job in the world, and I'm so eager and excited to see people join the profession, and particularly the fact that you've entered it with a goal to be better and to be high value because I'm known, renowned for saying that there's enough average Sullivans, or below average Sullivans as well. What we need are more excellent, awesome, passionate Sullivans. And so thank you for bringing that to the job.
Tori
Thank you so much, Josh. I really appreciate it.
### Musician-Turned-Celebrant: Ryan's Story
Welcome to another engaging episode of the Celebrant Talk Show, where we explore the diverse journeys of newly authorised celebrants in Australia. Today, I, Josh Withers, have the pleasure of hosting Ryan Enright from Paper Hearts, a Melbourne-based wedding musician who has recently embarked on a new journey as a celebrant.
In this episode, Ryan shares his unique transition from being a musician to becoming a celebrant – a decision influenced by the COVID-19 pandemic and the desire to up-skill during challenging times. We delve into the realities of the Cert IV in Celebrancy program, discussing its intensity and thoroughness, which drew Ryan to choose the Celebrant Institute for his studies.
Throughout our conversation, Ryan opens up about the challenges and triumphs of his journey – balancing his studies with significant life events like welcoming a child and buying a house. He reflects on his first wedding ceremony as a celebrant and offers insights into how his extensive experience as a musician attending numerous ceremonies has influenced his celebrant style.
We also venture into the technicalities and logistics of combining music and celebrancy in ceremonies, discussing sound systems and how Ryan plans to integrate his skills as a musician into his celebrant services. This episode is not just about Ryan's story but also a deep dive into the nuances of celebrancy and the additional roles celebrants play in Australian weddings, compared to other countries.
Whether you're an aspiring celebrant, a seasoned professional, or simply interested in the world of weddings, this episode offers valuable insights, laughs, and a real-life perspective on the evolving role of a celebrant in today's world. Join us for this inspiring and informative session on the Celebrant Talk Show, your go-to podcast for all things celebrancy.
Transcript:
Josh
- My name is Josh Withers. I'm the host for today's episode of the Celebrant Talk Show. Welcome to it. We're in the middle of a series where we're talking to, interviewing new celebrants. Celebrants that have done the Certiform Celebrancy and they've become celebrants in Australia. They are authorised and ready to party and Ryan is one of those and I think his story will be a blessing to you. If you wanna hear other episodes of this podcast, celebrant.fm has all the links and also you can listen to other episodes there and find them on to your favourite podcast player. And if you wanna know more about the Cert4 and our membership program for celebrants, the website is celebrant.institute.
Ryan
(upbeat music) - My name's Ryan. I'm in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia and I became a celebrant at the start of this year officially. And yes, I've done one wedding so far.
Josh
- In 2023.
Ryan
- Yes, it's my time to shine.
Josh
(laughing) - It's funny, just a really weird tangent to start on. Obviously you just start when you start. There's all these great inspirational quotes about the best time to start was yesterday, the second best time to start was today. And that's all very, very, very true. But I've got this weird thing where I just, I like nice dates. And so I became a celebrant in 2009 and I look back like, I wish it was 2010. 2010 is like, it's just a nice, it's a round year.
Ryan
- You can get the number.
Josh
- Yeah, like my wife was born in 1990. And so it's really like, how old are you? Like, oh, well, she's just the year at 10. (laughing) And so I feel about like odd numbers, like 23, 21, 25, let's see, 25 is a good year to start. 23 and my year 2009. I don't like the years, you know? So maybe you should have waited a year, but you know, maybe you should have. (laughing)
Ryan
- Too much maths involved.
Josh
- Too much maths. That's my problem. Always mathematising things. Like talking about maths, what maths did you do in your brain to figure that you should be a celebrant? Everyone's got a different story. What's yours?
Ryan
- Excellent segue. Well, my story is COVID. So I'm primarily a musician and obviously during COVID times, there wasn't a whole lot of work for us, especially in Melbourne. So I thought it would be a great idea to, you know, upskill during that time and study to become a celebrant, which was something that was kind of always, you know, on the radar in the back of my mind, just floating around as an idea. And I kind of just saw that time as, yeah, a good opportunity to do that.
Josh
- And how did that work out for you? Was the, did it bear fruit as you had hoped?
Ryan
- Well, yes and no. So it took me longer than I anticipated. And this is probably eating into some of your next few questions, but you know, it is, yeah, it's quite an intense and long undertaking. It's very thorough, which, you know, when I was assessing the various providers that offered the course is part of the reason I chose to study with you guys was because I wanted it to be thorough and I wanted to come out of it, you know, being a decent celebrant, hopefully, or at least, you know, having the tools I need to start that journey. But yeah, I also had another child during that time and, you know, bouncing in and out of lockdown. Yeah, bought a house, like did just lots of, you know, things that it just, when it rains, it pours, you know? So yeah, when I started the course, I had all this free time and then as the course progressed, I suddenly had, you know, very little free time and it took me a little bit longer than I had originally intended. But yeah, I persevered and got there in the end, which I'm, yeah, really happy about.
Josh
- Great. It is more than many people expect. I feel like the biggest disservice to the entire celebrancy/officiant/people that marry people business is Joey from "Friends" 'cause on TV in the '90s, he just did a thing and became a minister and married people. And it's just, it kind of is the case like that in America, but it very much isn't that the case in Australia. It's, you know, I'm lucky to speak to celebrants and officiants from around the world and they're always amazed by what the Australian celebrant has on their plate. 'Cause many of them find it overwhelming and have to, yeah, like their whole business is based on just doing the speaking bit, like obviously, and preparing for the speaking bit and the speaking bit. But the Australian celebrant has a lot more on their plate, you know?
Ryan
- Yes.
Josh
- As we can spend the next five hours talking about. The legal things can sink a whole bit. But yeah, so I'm glad you pushed through. That's really awesome.
Ryan
- Yeah, yeah. And it was, you know, I guess one of the good things about the course is you can have a few attempts at the assignments as well. So I definitely used those. I just did the best I could with my first attempt, send it through, get some feedback and then go from there. That was kind of my approach to it.
Josh
- And honestly, that's really smart. I've studied a little bit and I'm not that smart. I still kind of have that high school mentality of you gotta do it right. And then because, not that the high school mentality is you gotta do it right, but you gotta do it right. And then if you don't do it right enough, then you fail and you suck and you should burn in hell. Whereas, you know, I guess the VET system or just the certificate four system is that you're not yet competent, not yet competent, not yet competent, boom, you're competent. Cool, yeah, we got there. Which is far more, I don't know, just human and nice. (laughs)
Ryan
- Yeah, totally. Yeah, no, I appreciated that. (laughs)
Josh
- You obviously did the thing, you did the course and you took that through the application process. You get that letter saying that you're legit, you're ready to go. Did you feel more game ready than maybe the average person? Because you already were operating in the space, you already knew what a wedding booking looked like. You know, you kind of had a step ahead of everyone else there.
Ryan
- Yes, absolutely. I am lucky enough to have seen a lot of ceremonies. So I've seen a lot of, yeah, really good celebrants.
Josh
- Oh yeah, okay. No, but before we move on, I'm gonna tell you, so I hadn't even considered that. You've seen a lot of ceremonies. That's a game changer. I'm not even joking, me personally as a celebrant of, actually I just entered my 15th year as a celebrant a few days ago. I've probably seen, I'm trying to count, five or six weddings that I haven't done in my life. Maybe, like max 10. I might've missed a few, but I haven't seen many. You've seen more than 10.
Ryan
- I've seen hundreds.
Josh
- Yeah. Which is a really, it's just a really interesting prospect. So like I mentor different wedding professionals and I love talking to wedding photographers 'cause I said there's a really easy way for you to get this kind of business workflow in your head, try and figure out what's good for you because you can book another photographer tomorrow. Like whether it's, if you're a single person, sure you can just get single person shots, but many people are in relationships, whether you're married or family, go book a photographer tomorrow. You know, just book one. Like one you like, one you've never heard of, whatever. Go book them, pay them some money, do the thing. And hopefully that is good 'cause you get good photos. But obviously at the end, you can kind of reflect and say, oh, I booked Josh as my photographer and he did this and he did that, I did like this, I didn't like that. And you can have a real opinion on running a photography business. But you, as a musician, you've seen, I know obviously you haven't done the business of being a celebrant, but you've seen ceremony. So how did that, how did like, you don't have to throw anyone under the bus, particularly if it's me, but, (laughs) as like what kind of things fed into your education and then of course becoming a celebrant, like the things you'd seen, things you'd witnessed, like, yeah, give us the grocery list. Like what's awesome, what's not.
Ryan
- Yeah, definitely. I got to see a lot of different sound systems for one. And obviously hear a lot of different styles of delivery and kind of, yeah, I guess as I was moving through the course I started to pay more attention to what they were saying and just took a few notes here and there of things that I liked and ideas. And yeah, I just kind of, well, took more of a keen interest in the ceremonies and just kind of, yeah, tried to figure out what I personally liked and didn't like in terms of my style. Obviously you've got to take into the consideration of the couple, of course, but yeah, certainly you want to show people what your style is and hopefully you align with the couple.
Josh
- Yeah, absolutely. So what's, yeah, we're kind of jumping all over the place here, but like, what's your thing that you bring to market? How do you describe-
Ryan
- How do I see myself as a delivery?
Josh
- Yeah.
Ryan
- I guess, you know, I like to be fairly casual and relaxed but also keep it professional and lighthearted, upbeat and fun.
Josh
- This is how would you validate that as a product? Like how do you say, yeah, this is how I do that?
Ryan
- Good question. Well, I've only done one ceremony, so maybe there's not a whole lot of track record there, but I mean, you know, I guess in my personality, in my dealings and meetings with clients, they will hopefully pick up on my personality and my vibe.
Josh
- Yeah, cool. I like that. Like, what's your plan moving forward? You obviously, the music is what you're known for and you're popular for and you kind of, you've got a business there.
Ryan
- Yep.
Josh
- Do you, without, you have to reveal company secrets, but like, what's the plan? Are you doing the packaging? Are you doing it to be two separate things? Like kind of like church and state that don't meet?
Ryan
- Good question. At this stage, I don't know the answer to that question. My first wedding where I was the celebrant was a family friend. And to be honest, that's kind of the main reason why I moved forward with my registration at that time was so that I could marry them. And yeah, with the whole whiplash of coming out of COVID, you know, obviously there were a lot of weddings and things to catch up on. So the music side of my life has been very busy also with two young children as well. So there's been, yeah, quite a bit happening. So it's been, I guess, hard to fully flesh out that plan and how that looks. But as we're coming into winter this year in the off season, yeah, I plan to kind of strategically sort of sit down and think about that a bit more. But I think ultimately, you know, a mix of the two would be great.
Josh
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, you're in a really good place because you know the business and now you've just got an extra avenue, you know? Like it's funny, I talked to a lot of celebrants that have kind of been doing it for a while and they talk about diversifying education, that kind of thing. And they talk about wanting to do maybe less weddings, which I understand. And if you're a person that we've had that conversation about like no judgment. But I actually really love doing ceremonies. I love doing weddings. Like it's fun. I'm good at it. It feels good. But what I'm interested in is pro diversifying so that, you know, if you were to liken it to say drinking, maybe don't have a beer every night, but have a beer some nights, you know? And have water other nights or have wine or have soft drink, whatever. Like diversify what you're doing. That's on health advice. I'm just merely using it as an analogy if you're not listening. But yeah, like, and so maybe just the simple, the fact that you can chew gum and you can walk and maybe you can do them together and maybe do them separately. And that's cool.
Ryan
- Yes, absolutely. Yeah, I'm sure there's a balance there. Yeah, I've just got to figure out what that looks like. Bit of trial and error.
Josh
- There's a celebrant in Byron Bay who, I'm not too sure how much he does it today, but he's a musician and he would kind of sing couples down the aisle, like from a celebrant position. And I always thought that was kind of cool. Logistically, it kind of pains me because I just think about the logistics of it.
Ryan
- I haven't thought about that. Yes, it does sound challenging. Obviously wireless technology, but yeah, you have a lot to think about, particularly when you're in the early days, I suppose.
Josh
- Like I'm guessing you probably don't take many guitar texts to your weddings.
Ryan
- No. (both laughing)
Josh
- Can't just throw your guitar to someone. (both laughing)
Ryan
- Well, my wife is my duo partner, so she might catch the guitar, but she's not a great catch.
Josh
- Okay, final question before I go, just 'cause I don't know, I just, it's funny. Look, I obviously knew that you were a musician and I just hadn't really considered what that means, but I want to talk PA system, 'cause you mentioned it before. And obviously as a musician, PA system is important to you. I'm gonna make a grand assumption that you have the same opinion than me that your PA system is important because it lets everyone experience what you're selling. Like you guys could just stand there singing acoustically, I guess, singing acoustically, how you describe it, that a PA system? I don't know.
Ryan
- Yeah.
Josh
- Yeah, you know, and just playing acoustic guitar and that would be great and lovely, but very few people would hear you. The PA system,
Ryan
- Yes.
Josh
- A public amplification system, yeah, it lets other people hear you. So first of all, what's your ceremony kit as a muso? And how, if you didn't have a PA system, but knowing everything you know, what would you go with as a celebrant today?
Ryan
- Celebrant. Yes, so we've been running the Bose S1 Pros and we've had, - Oh yeah.
Josh
- We've had two of those for a while as a duo, acoustic duo, and we recently purchased a JBL EON1 Mark II. - Oh, is there a Mark II?
Ryan
- Yeah, the column array system with a subwoofer, just for a little extra bass.
Josh
- How do you rate the Mark II? 'Cause I rented a Mark I and it was good, but it wasn't great.
Ryan
- Right, yes. I like it, it sounds good. I think that it reaches a point where it can start to distort, whereas the Bose does, I've never heard it distort.
Josh
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ryan
- That's my take.
Josh
- I had a wedding in Mexico in Cabo and the DJ had, I just can't, I felt really embarrassed. I never thought of this. I saw it, I thought that sounds so good. I feel embarrassed, I haven't thought of this. He had two S1s, Bose S1s on stands, and then he had a sub. I'm like, why did I never think to have a sub? Like it's just, and so he had the, I guess it must be the Bose L2 sub, whichever one has the separate sub these days. I think it's, is it L2?
Ryan
- Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Josh
- Yeah, yeah.
Ryan
- Yeah, I like that.
Josh
- 'Cause the L1 has a sub, but it's part of the kind of array, kind of like the JBL, whereas he had just the standalone Bose sub. And it sounded phenomenal. I'm like, oh, I know that. Like if someone was to question me, like how do I make the sound better? I would know, I'd say, hey, get a sub. I just had never considered it for myself. And I felt really embarrassed. And it just, those Bose S1s, particularly two S1s and the sub, yeah, it was perfect. 'Cause it also, this is a problem that happens a lot with weddings. I'm guessing Melbourne has the same problems as Southeast Queensland does, and Northern New South Wales with sound restrictions. You're working at a wedding venue and it's near homes. And you've got to respect those things. That is just what it is. If someone's stupid enough to open a wedding venue next to a old person's home, then that's their cross the bay. But this setup, because the sub could deliver a lot of the feeling, it wasn't loud, but it was present across the whole wedding. It just sounded so good. It was, yeah. So I walked away feeling really embarrassed. I'd never considered that for myself. So it's also good to hear you're on the Bose bandwagon. 'Cause I keep on talking to people. Do you know Jackson at Factory Sound?
Ryan
- Yes, I do.
Josh
- Yeah, good guy. And I message him every now and then. I'm like, "Hey, is there something better yet?" He's like, "No, there's nothing better yet." (laughing)
Ryan
- He would know.
Josh
- He would know. Yeah, and I guess I'm kind of waiting for like the Jesus PA system. 'Cause the Bose, this one is great. You know, it would be awesome. Built-in wireless. But then I also, I don't know, Bose isn't known for its microphones. It's not known for its wireless receivers. And I'm like, "Well, maybe I don't want Bose "to make a microphone." But yeah, this is, we can talk about audio forever. That's audio guys, but.
Ryan
- Good, yeah. We do still use one of the Bose as well. And we predominantly use a foldback wedge, but if it's a larger space, larger crew, we pump it out to the audience. Or if, you know, the entrant, male or female, or otherwise, is coming down from a different direction, sometimes it's nice to just point that out there. And yeah, so it is still nice to have that in the kit.
Josh
- Do you do that with a wireless, like a Sennheiser wireless transmission? Or do you run a lead?
Ryan
- We just run a lead. Yeah, could do it wirelessly, but it's not that necessary for what we're trying to achieve, yeah.
Josh
- Yeah, I suppose as musos, you can, you're positioning.
Ryan
- We've got a lot of cables.
Josh
- Yeah, we've got a lot of cables, but you're positioning, like you don't have to be up the front and center, you know?
Ryan
- That's right, yeah.
Josh
- Celebrant kind of has to be up there. And so, and then by the laws of speaker placement, you want the speaker to be on the same plane as the Celebrant projecting back towards the audience. And so, so positioning, which is why I have a lot of wireless here, 'cause sometimes you're just, positioning is just terrible. Just so the speaker's gotta go over there and there's no power, there's no whatever.
Ryan
- Yes, of course.
Josh
- Yeah, all right.
Ryan
- Yeah.
Josh
- Cool, okay, I think we've just lost everyone with a good dose of audio trap. (laughing)
Ryan
- Oh yes, I think Jackson's still with us.
Josh
- Yeah, it's just you, me and Jackson now. (laughing) All righty, well, look, man, I wish you all the best on your journey and I hope you can find a place where you can be an awesome Celebrant, an awesome musician and make a crap load of money and have a lot of fun. Thanks for studying with the Celebrant Institute.
Ryan
- Thank you so much, pleasure.
(upbeat music) (upbeat music)
### Journey to Joy: Rachel Ivy McDermott-Magrath's Celebrant Adventure
Welcome to another enriching episode of the Celebrant Talk Show, where we delve into the inspiring journeys of those who've embarked on the path of becoming a celebrant. Today's episode features Rachel Ivy McDermott-Magrath, known professionally as "The Ivy Aisle," who shares her captivating story from planning her own wedding to becoming a sought-after celebrant in Gippsland, Victoria.
Rachel's conversation with us is not just a narrative of her transition into celebrancy but also a beacon of guidance for anyone considering this heartfelt profession. She reflects on the pivotal role her mentor, Sheridan Newham, played in her journey and how her experience with the Celebrant Institute's comprehensive Certificate IV in Celebrancy program sculpted her skills and confidence.
Moreover, Rachel offers invaluable advice for prospective students, emphasising the importance of embracing feedback, staying resilient, and dedicating oneself to the study. Her insights into creating a personal brand, the significance of building genuine connections with clients, and the nuances of navigating the business aspects of celebrancy are particularly enlightening.
Whether you're contemplating a career in celebrancy, currently studying, or already in the field, Rachel's journey is a testament to the joy and fulfillment this profession can bring. Her aspirations to be a prominent name in Gippsland and her dreams of conducting ceremonies in iconic locations like New York and Paris are truly inspiring.
Join us in this episode to discover the passion, challenges, and triumphs of becoming a celebrant, and learn how you, too, can turn your aspirations into a rewarding career.
Transcript:
Josh
- I sincerely hope that these podcasts with the Celebrant Institute are encouraging for you wherever you are on your Celebrant journey, whether you're thinking about becoming a Celebrant, whether you're in the middle of study right now, or you are out there on the front lines doing the hard work of marrying people. I hope these interviews we're doing with the new Celebrants in this little series is encouraging and awesome. If you're thinking about becoming a Celebrant and doing the Cert IV, just like Rachel did in this episode, then head to celebrant.institute to find out more information about the Cert IV in Celebrancy. And of course, if you wanna listen to more episodes of this podcast, celebrant.fm is the website. Finally, if you're a Celebrant who's out there operating, doing your best work, then first of all, good on you. Second of all, we provide a mentoring and membership aspect of the Celebrant Institute. You get access to all the website blog posts, and also you get 24/7 access, though it might be a little bit sketchy between midnight and 5 a.m., access to Sarah Aird and myself for marriage law help, business help, just wherever you're feeling like we could speak into your life, you get access to us. And it's only 10 bucks a month. So join now at celebrant.institute/join.
Rachel
(upbeat music) - My name is Rachel McDermott-MacGrath. I do go by the Ivy Isle, though, for my Celebrant business, because my middle name is Ivy, and it's a pretty name, so why not? Plus the name Ivy Isle sounds really cool. And I'm from Drouin, which is in Gippsland in Victoria. So I travel all around Gippsland helping people get married, and I've been doing it for about a year and a half, yeah.
Josh
- And why on earth do you wanna become a Celebrant? There's lots of great careers out there. If you talk to any good career counsellor, they're talking about CEOs and accountants and doctors. What brought you to Celebrancy?
Rachel
- Yeah, wow, so many reasons. I think the first one that made me decide to go into Celebrancy was planning my own wedding. And I honestly had the best time. I never stressed about it at all. It was incredibly enjoyable. And then I realised, well, hey, I've already got a degree in creative writing. I want to write stories. I love to write stories, so I can write people's love stories. And I'm really social. I love a good chat, sometimes too much. And I'm not shy in front of people. I guess that comes from being a teacher for a few years, a high school teacher. So if you can stand in front of a classroom with kids, a big group of wedding guests is not that scary. So yeah, that's why I dived into it. And I have not looked back, not once.
Josh
- That's so good. People that listen to these podcasts would probably have heard me say that I feel there's always two ways that people get into Celebrancy, either because they had a bad experience at their own wedding or at a Celebrant, or they had a great experience. And so it's awesome to hear you had a great experience. How was your Celebrant experience as a client? Like how did that shape your journey to becoming a Celebrant, a provider of Celebrant services?
Rachel
- Yeah, so funnily enough, my actual Celebrant became my mentor. So the one that was solemnizing my marriage, she became my mentor, and I'm still close to her these days. - Give her a shout out. - Yeah, her name is Sheridan Newham, and she is incredible. I idolise her in every way. And she's the one that got me into the studying. She gave me a whole bunch of different courses to look into. She said, "Yes, you've got this. You are such a good person for this. Go for it." And she's just, she's incredibly creative, and she's got this incredibly fun energy to be around. So she's inspiration, absolute inspiration. So that's Sheridan Newham.
Josh
- That's so good to hear.
Rachel
- She's selling everyone. She's incredible.
Josh
- So good. And how did you go about kind of deciding where to study, how to study? I'm guessing that you, like many people, wasn't aware that so much went into becoming a Celebrant?
Rachel
- Yeah, no, I had no idea. And now that I've done all the work, and obviously now doing all the work as a Celebrant, I really can see the value in why Celebrants do have, I guess, the price on them that they do. A lot of people are a bit like, "But why?" And the amount of work that goes into it, before, during, even a bit after, it's, you know, I can see why. And yeah, so for me, I was looking into all the different course options that I'd heard about, and I realized that the one I went with seemed to be that little bit of extra in terms of, I guess it was a little bit more thorough, and it also had a funeral aspect to it. And so one day I am looking at expanding into that. So obviously I started with the Celebrant Institute and under Sarah, and it was, yeah, I think I've been really, really well informed. I have gone in so confidently to every job, probably because we had so many pracs. And, you know, they really made sure you nailed every single assignment. And it actually turned out to be so worthwhile.
Josh
- That's so good to hear. There's such a high rate of people not finishing the Celebrant course across the industry. And so when Sarah and I set out to start, we were like, we thought we just, we can't have that. It's a waste of everyone's time to start a course and to sell a course that you don't finish. And so, and also, obviously once you finish it, that's great, but then it would actually be useful to you when you're actually out in the field. And so that's really awesome to hear.
Rachel
- Yeah, absolutely. So many things I've found are incredibly useful. I've barely felt, I guess, surprised by any moment, which is, yeah, it does happen because we work with anyone and everyone, but I feel I've been very well prepared. But also during my course, I was always well supported, not just by my mentor, but by the assessors and Sarah herself. Yeah, I think a lot of the time, you don't actually get to meet the people that create these courses. And she was doing regular Zoom catch-ups and obviously there's these podcasts that you can listen to with all this information. I've got a journal of all my notes from listening to things and scribbling down notes and whatnot. So yeah, so much support. It was awesome.
Josh
- So talking about support, people are listening to this, they're thinking about becoming a celebrant studying, particularly for the study aspect. What are your thoughts on people going into the study? How would you prepare them? How would you give them a tip, give them some advice to walk into the study and succeed?
Rachel
- Yeah, really good point. So I would say go into it confident, absolutely. And don't be disheartened when you get feedback that says, you know, to put a little bit more into this or that, because it really will help you. So there was so many times that I got feedback that I felt like, oh, I really thought I nailed that, but I got this feedback and it was something as small as my tone of voice at that part of the prac sounded a little bit too sad for what, you know, celebrating a couple. And I was like, and looking back at it, that was very valuable. So it did feel maybe sometimes a bit disheartening, but then I actually look at it and go, no, I learned so much and it built my confidence so much more redoing things and making sure it was perfect. So now I go into working with actual clients and I feel like I've got this, I know I've got this. So I would just say, don't let yourself be disheartened. It is a lot of work, definitely set aside a day, at least of the week where you really dedicate yourself to it. But, and you know, try and get yourself in the zone for studying and set yourself up with your snacks, if that's what you need or have the right feng shui around you for study time, get into the zone and dive in, have confidence. I think, you know, it takes a really, really brave person to be a celebrant, but I think anyone that wants to do it can do it.
Josh
- It's really interesting always talking about feedback. You know, like wise, smart people in their fancy books and their, you know, big name podcasts. There was talk about being really open to feedback. Like I think Steve Jobs or Jony Ive of Apple said something around the lines of, you know, feedback. It's my favorite meal of the day or something like that. It was, they were talking about it being the meal they take every day. And I've always been open to feedback, but it's funny, sometimes when you receive feedback, like you can talk the talk and say, "Hey, please send feedback." And I've received feedback sometimes and it really turns out I haven't been that open to it. And so when I have finally gotten over myself in whatever situation it might've been, and I've actually kind of like, you know, almost put the lion to sleep and had a glass of water and a deep breath, the feedback often is really helpful. And I think back to, I was on a TV show a couple of years ago and the director, you wouldn't believe what the director was doing. They were directing me and it was terrible. (laughing)
Rachel
- My God. How dare they?
Josh
- Yeah, I know. How dare you come to work and do your job? That is terrible. (laughing) And then she actually pulled me aside and she said, "Hey, we all want you to win. "That's why we're giving you feedback." And I'm like, "Oh, so you don't, "are you not a high school bully?" Sorry, I completely misidentified you as a high school bully as opposed to a professional TV director who actually wants me to be successful on this show. And yeah, it was a real groundbreaking moment for me. Not like I'm any better today. I still suck at receiving feedback. But yeah, like you said, if you can really open your eyes to that, particularly when you're studying, like I can definitely say of Sarah and everyone else at the Sullivan Institute, we all want you to win. Like none of us take the, I've just forgotten the word, not the booking, the enrollment. None of us take the enrollment like, "Ah-ha, oh, another sucker. "Let's bash 'em into smithereens "so they don't think about studying anything else ever again. "What a loser." Yeah, that would be a terrible thing to think of people that are studying. And also, obviously, the celebrancy is, celebrancy studies is one of those things where it's quite very closely linked to the profession. And we also don't want that for people joining the profession, but it would be an encouraging good thing. So I'm glad you received that well.
Rachel
- There's definitely times I was, had to take the walk away and be like, "What sort of feedback was that?" And it was never bad, never. It was always so helpful. But I tried really hard and then I was like, "No, I thought I nailed it." But I'd have a quick breather, come back and go, "Oh yeah, no, they're right." And it made me a lot better.
Josh
- So I love talking about taking these skills to market. I'm making the assumption that once you graduated, the application process took what it took and you got your email saying you're all G. And from there, let's talk about branding, marketing, but also the thing I'm most passionate about, product. The actual thing you're actually selling. When someone pays you a dollar, what do they get? And what was your plan to take yourself to market like that?
Rachel
- Yeah, I actually think there was an assessment that really helped me with that as well, which I don't think when I've spoken about courses, I'm not sure every course actually helps with that, but I found there was one towards the end that actually helped me really start getting into that mind frame. And that's where I thought to reach out to my mentor and I asked her to introduce me to other celebrants and she got me into some social media groups with other celebrants, which then became, I guess my sounding board for ideas. And I even posted different logos and stuff in there to get feedback. But my mentor came up with the idea of the Ivy Aisle because I often, 50% of the time go by the name Ivy. And she's like, "I had this crazy dream one night when we had both just done a wedding nearby, we went out and hung out afterwards and you were going by the name the Ivy Aisle." And I was like, "That is it, that is my name." And just from there, and then I had this assignment, just from there, I just started, I guess, this creative explosion in my mind. And I just went straight into looking into different types of websites that I could create stuff on. I found one that I felt really comfortable with, which was Squarespace. I know other celebrants use it, so I could pick their brains being like, "How did you get this to work?" and whatnot. But it's really simple for me. And I then went into, well, the Ivy Isle, and I love plants and green, so everything's green. I really love that fresh, natural vibe to it because it's the vibe I'm trying to bring to weddings is that real natural down to earth sort of vibe. So I guess it all started working together from that moment. And I mean, ultimately celebrants, it sounds crazy, but we are sort of selling ourselves, are we not? You know, you want people-
Josh
- 100% you're selling yourself, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, you're 100%. So selling yourself and you want people to just feel a connection with you. So I say to my couples, I do a sort of meet and greet, no obligations type of situation, because I think vibe, and I'm sure most, if not all celebrants could agree on this, the vibe you have with your celebrant is a make or break for your wedding because you don't want to feel like there's a stranger standing there talking about you and this person you love as if they've known you for years. You want someone to be standing there as if they actually do know you. So I really try and make that connection first before I expect them to make any commitment so that they go into it feeling like, hey, she's a friend, she gets me. Because they're entrusting me to a lot. They're telling me a lot about their love life and their intimate details. And that for some people is confronting. So they need to feel comfortable with who they're working with. And that's my aim. So I sell myself as crazy as it sounds as a third wheel to their relationship, as their friend. - Yeah, now I don't know if you've read any more stuff of the Rebel's Guide blog, but I've talked to her about with, you know, if you get a really good deal from your wedding furniture provider and like, and it's a good furniture, and it's a good deal, and you meet the person, like, ah, they're a douchebag. Like, well, you know, you can kind of, if your wedding furniture guy is a douchebag, you can just live with that. And, you know, and there's various suppliers that, you know, the person who owns the property, like, ah, they're a bit of a douchebag, but we just don't really gel, you know, politically or whatever. And like, yeah, well, you can kind of get by. But there's people like, particularly your photographer and your celebrant, and like, they are in your face. Like, you probably spend more time with your photographer at a wedding than you do your partner, because they spend time with you getting ready. And then your celebrant, to the same degree, but much more intensified, for like, you know, half hour, whatever it might be, they're kind of, they are the voice of this bit, the bit you invite everyone to. You know, the time that's on the invite is for the ceremony, and there's this really valuable, important thing happening. And yeah, you get a vibe with this person, which is why I don't really, I really struggle with the idea of the whole wedding is awards. Because if they say, you know, Josh, this is number one, I'm like, what does that mean? What is it like, number one for like, Jack and Sally? But like, what about Todd and Samantha? What do they, it doesn't really mean anything. So yeah, I'm glad you've identified that early.
Rachel
- Yeah, absolutely. And I think one of the really important things for people to recognize once they do graduate, you know, it is hard to build up. You're building up pretty much from ground zero. And you know, you're gonna have people that will say that you're not their vibe, and that's okay. You just have to accept that, yeah, you're not for everyone, and that's normal, we're human. But the people that you do vibe with, they will book you because they will have that connection. So I've definitely had my fair share of people say, no, decide to go elsewhere. And I will always say, I hope you have your dream day. Because honestly, everyone still deserves their dream day. I would love to be part of it. (laughs) But if it's not right, it's not right, and that's okay. You just, you find, you start attracting particular couples anyway. So it works out okay, yeah.
Josh
- Yeah, yeah. And look, I'll turn this around, just make this a little bit of a mentoring session. Hopefully it will help some people.
Rachel
- Yeah.
Josh
- You've 100% gonna be okay with people saying no to people, and people saying no to you. But equally, and probably like 1% more, like 51%, 49%, you've gotta be okay with saying yes to people, and charging a good fee, and being paid that fee, and like, this is normal, like people want me. (laughs) You know, like I've, I was just coaching a friend earlier today through an issue with their business. And I'm like, it's okay for people to pay the fee, and you do the thing, and for that to be good. (laughs) Which it sounds like a silly thing to kind of coach someone, but like, you know, we get all up in our heads sometimes. We get all, no, unless of course you're mentally perfect, Rachel, then this is maybe for someone else's sake. But, (laughs) it's okay to be chosen by couples. And you know, like, I'm so blessed, I'm so lucky I get inquiries from around the world. And people always inquire about that, like, how do you get that? I'm like, I don't know, man, I'm just really honest about who I am. And I put that out, and people say, yeah, that's me. And then next minute I'm doing their wedding in Paris. Like, I'm not advertising destination weddings, I'm just advertising Josh, and just letting them know who I am, and what's important to me.
Rachel
- Yeah. - And that vibes with people.
Josh
- Yeah. - So it's good.
Rachel
- And I think that definitely does vibe with a lot of couples out there. They just, they like the transparency. But I, you know, I couldn't agree more with what you were saying about being okay with charging people, because I guess a lot of people become celebrants, because they are very friendly, outgoing people. And then you build this connection, and I'm not gonna lie, I get a lot of guilt sometimes. I feel like, oh, but they were so cool. I feel really bad being like, hey, here's my fee, or I need to charge you this much extra for travel. The travel, extra travel fee seems to be the one that I sort of struggle a little bit to, I guess, get on top of. So that, I could not agree more with that advice. I am starting to get a bit more of a backbone around it, but that has been one of the harder aspects for sure. For sure.
Josh
- Well, we'll extend the mentoring session for another 30 seconds, and I'll give you this advice.
Rachel
- Yeah.
Josh
- 'Cause I had travel fees. I think travel fees are an impediment to a commercial relationship. Like, I absolutely hate it. I hate buying things in America ever, because it doesn't matter what you're buying. You're like, oh, it's $100. Cool, I can do $100 for that. And then you get a bit like, oh, it's 115, 'cause of this tax. And then go through, you're in a restaurant, like, yeah, it's an extra fee. Actually, I went somewhere the other day. I was in New York, and the, you know, I don't know if you've seen this, but they have the default tip options. So you can manually say, you know, whatever percent. Or they've got, they have defaults. And their defaults started at 25%. I'm like, dude, 25%. You're already a pricey restaurant. (laughs) And so I don't, I just like knowing what something is.
Rachel
- Yeah.
Josh
- And, yeah, like, I'd rather you say it's $150 than say it's 100 plus sales tax and plus tip.
Rachel
- Yeah.
Josh
- And so, coming back to the travel fee, my advice for anyone with travel fees is not to say fee plus travel fee, but just say this is my fee. And so I remember the first time I ever did a Sydney wedding being based on the Gold Coast. It was because instead of saying fee plus travel, I just said, here's my Sydney fee. And the Sydney fee was magically, you wouldn't believe it, the same number as fee plus travel fee, but because it was just communicated as fee, it was great. And people, I'm a, people find it much easier to swallow.
Rachel
- Yeah, yeah, no, that makes complete sense. 'Cause I often have couples ask me, are there any extra hidden costs? And I'm straight out like, no, no, where you are, it is what it is and don't stress. Everything that is written there is a part of the package, is a part of the package, there's nothing more to it. But yeah, the travel one I do feel is tricky. So it must be something I might start looking to re-evaluating. I really appreciate the advice, so thank you.
Josh
- Well, look, it's been really interesting to hear about your journey into becoming a celebrant, why you became a celebrant. And onwards and upwards, like leave us with this, what's your big audacious goal? Like where do you hope to be in five, 10 years?
Rachel
- I hope to be absolutely smashing it full time, marrying lovers in New York and Paris. That'd be amazing. I really hope that I am just your go-to name down in Gippsland, to be honest. I would absolutely love to be that celebrant people like, have you seen Rachel from the Ivy Isle? Oh my gosh, she is it. That is my absolute goal.
Josh
- Love it. Well, I wish you all the best in that. And I think you've got a real hot chance of achieving that goal, mainly because you know what it is. So 10 points.
Rachel
- I'm already kicking goals. I've been setting goals each year, I've been kicking them so far, so smashing it, I'm loving it.
### Our submission to the Senate Inquiry into the AG Portfolio Miscellaneous Measure Bill 2023
As of June 12 2024 remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms is now law and you can visit this page for an update.
As mentioned in an update to my article about the Bill containing amendments to the Marriage Act that went to Parliament late last year, the Celebrant Institute was asked to make a submission to a Senate Inquiry into the Bill. As I said in this update, basically the Senate, instead of just signing off on the Bill and letting it pass into law, referred it to the Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs Legislation Committee for review.
We weren't allowed to publicise our submission until it was made public by the government, which it has been today. I note we were the only celebrant body to make a submission to this Inquiry; obviously I have no idea how much weight the Committee will give the submission at this stage! They're due to report on 1 February.
Anyway, I wanted to publish our submission here on our website as well as it being on the APH website. Let me know if you have any thoughts.
Submission to the Inquiry into the Attorney-General’s Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill 2023 [Provisions]
The Celebrant Institute provides professional development and mentoring for our more than 500 Commonwealth-Registered Marriage Celebrants members, and training for aspiring celebrants through the Certificate IV in Celebrancy. Founders of the Celebrant Institute, Sarah Aird and Joshua Withers, are well regarded as experts in the field and advocates for improvements to Australian marriage legislation and the Marriage Celebrants Program.
We are pleased to accept the invitation to make a submission to the above-named inquiry as set out below. Our submission focuses on Schedule 3, the proposed amendments to the Marriage Act 1961.
In summary, we are in support of most provisions of Schedule 3 of the Attorney-General’s Portfolio Miscellaneous Measures Bill 2023.
Schedule 3, Part 1
Deputy Registrars of Marriage Celebrants
Currently there are many decisions that require the Registrar’s sign-off, and having them all made by one person leads to delays, particularly in the registration of new celebrants. If some everyday decisions such as approval of new celebrant registrations could be delegated, more decisions could be made in a more timely fashion, and the Registrar would be freed up to deal with more controversial issues that require a higher level of oversight.
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
Schedule 3, Part 2
Timeframes for considering application for registration as authorised celebrant
Currently applications for registration as a celebrant are deemed to have been rejected if no decision has been made three months after submission.
The extended timeframe will serve applicants well particularly when their referees take a longer-than-expected time to respond to enquiries for further information, ensuring the applicant is not penalised by having their application automatically rejected at the three-month mark. If an application is rejected for reasons outside the applicant’s control, they have to start the application process again, including paying a new application fee.
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
Schedule 3, Part 3
Refund of registration application fee
Aspiring celebrants must hold a Certificate IV in Celebrancy, a qualification in celebrancy awarded by a university, or celebrancy skills (defined as fluency in an Australian Indigenous language, ability to conduct a marriage ceremony in accordance with the marriage legislation, and effective communication). Although these requirements are clearly outlined on the Attorney-General’s Department’s website, we understand that for various reasons a small number of people per year apply for registration without meeting any of these qualification/skill requirements.
For this reason only, we have no concerns with refunds being granted, as long as they are not granted for any other deficiency in an aspiring celebrant’s application.
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
Schedule 3, Part 4
Celebrant to be physically present at marriage
Currently the legislation only states that ceremonies must be conducted “in the presence of” the authorised celebrant. Replacing “in the presence of” with “in the physical presence of” clarifies the requirement and ensures nobody can argue that the original text could be interpreted as “in the digital presence of”.
We are delighted to have this clarified in the legislation to avoid arguments from couples, particularly when “Zoom weddings” are popping up in media stories from overseas on a regular basis.
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
Schedule 3, Part 5
Identity requirements
The way s42(1)(b) is currently written causes some confusion. It currently states that parties to a marriage must present evidence of their date and place of birth to the authorised celebrant before the marriage can take place. In order, the options for evidence of date and place of birth are:
(i) an official certificate or an official extract of an entry in an official register,
(ii) a statutory declaration made by the party stating that it is impracticable for them to obtain such a certificate, or
(iii) a passport.
The way this is written has led some celebrants to understand that they can accept a statutory declaration even where a party has a passport.
This amendment will change the order of the types of evidence and clarify that a statutory declaration is only sufficient evidence where it is impracticable for a party to obtain an official certificate or extract AND the party does not hold a current passport.
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
While we are delighted to have this clarification, we would like to see it go further. We will soon be submitting a paper to the Attorney-General requesting further amendments to the Marriage Act, one of which refers directly to these subsections.
S42(1)(b)(i) refers to “an official certificate, or an official extract of an entry in an official register, showing the date and place of birth of the party.” The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants 2021part 4.10 and the wording on marriage documentation such as the Notice of Intended Marriage tells us that the Attorney-General’s Department interprets this section as referring to a birth certificate or extract thereof. However, this is causing some confusion as this definition could also be applied to a change of name certificate issued by a State or Territory Registry of Births, Deaths, and Marriages, or even to an entry in an international register of refugees. We request a further amendment to this section to read “an official certificate of birth…”
Furthermore, the suggested amendment does not confirm whether a statutory declaration should be accepted in a situation where it is impracticable for a party to obtain a birth certificate, although they are able to obtain a passport but have chosen not to do so. We are advised in the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants 2021 part 4.10.1 that “a party who does not have a passport and is able to obtain their original birth certificate or extract is expected to do so”, regardless of cost or timeframe. But should a party who is able to apply for a passport do so? For example, in the (admittedly rare) case of a refugee for whom it is impracticable to obtain a birth certificate, when they obtain Australian citizenship, they become eligible for a passport; should they be required to obtain a passport rather than having the ability to produce a statutory declaration regarding their date and place of birth? We would like to see this issue clarified in this amendment.
Schedule 3, Part 6
Notice of intended marriage and consent
Remote witnessing for Notices of Intended Marriage
Currently the Act requires the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) to be signed “in the presence of” an authorised witness. For the past two years temporary COVID-related measures have been in place allowing signatures to be witnessed “under the observation of” an authorised witness using electronic means, a video link, or an audio-visual link. This temporary legislation is due to end on 31 December 2023.
The temporary change to the legislation has been extremely successful and popular with both celebrants and marrying couples. In response to a survey of celebrants held in August 2022, 86% of celebrants said rescinding the measure would have a negative impact on their business; 11% said it would have no impact on their business, and 3% said while it would not likely impact their own business, they supported maintaining the ability to witness signatures on NOIMs remotely; there were no responses stating that rescinding this measure would have a positive impact on their business (individual text responses have been included as an attachment to this submission).
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
Celebrant to physically meet each party before the marriage
Currently s23B(1)(d) of the Act states that a marriage is void where the consent of either of the parties is not a real consent because it was obtained by duress or fraud, one party is mistaken as to the identity of the other party or the nature of the ceremony performed, or one party did not understand the nature and effect of the marriage ceremony. The Act does not define how celebrants should ensure real consent, although the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants 2021 parts 8.5-8.6 outline some considerations for celebrants and ways celebrants can assess whether a person’s consent is real.
The proposed amendment will require celebrants to meet separately with each party before the marriage is solemnised. While it is not expressly outlined in the proposed amendment to the Act, the Explanatory Memorandum to the Bill tells us “this meeting provides an additional safeguard, where the NOIM is remotely witnessed, or witnessed by an authorised person other than a celebrant,” is designed “to ensure that each party is freely and voluntarily consenting to the marriage” and that it “can occur at any time up to and including on the day the marriage is solemnised”. No further details are given on how long this meeting should go for, how it should be approached, and what should be discussed during the meeting.
The NOIM has been able to be witnessed by a person other than a celebrant for many years; as far as we are aware there has never been a suggestion that celebrants who do not witness the couple’s signatures on the NOIM are not fulfilling their obligations regarding assessing consent.
While this meeting may appear as though it would give parties who are under duress or not truly consenting the opportunity to raise any issues with the celebrant, we think it unlikely, in practice, that such parties will do so. This could be for a myriad of reasons, including fear of reprisals from their partner or family members, or concern about the emotional and financial toll of calling a wedding, particularly if the meeting were held on the same day as the wedding. We believe that any party who would be willing to raise a concern during such a meeting would raise it anyway, and we question the practical benefit of such a requirement.
In some religious or cultural settings, it would not be appropriate or feasible for an authorised celebrant to meet alone with each party to the marriage, making this an impossible task to complete.
The Celebrant Institute does not support these amendments.
We believe there are better ways of achieving a higher rate of real consent, such as providing celebrants with more education on how to assess real consent and what to do in situations where real consent may be in doubt.
Transfers of NOIMs
Currently a NOIM can be transferred from the original celebrant to a new celebrant if the original celebrant is unable to perform the marriage due to death, absence, or illness of the celebrant, or where “for any other reason it is otherwise impracticable for that person to solemnise the marriage.”
It has always been the Attorney-General’s Department’s advice to celebrants that “any other reason” included where the couple decided they wanted to change celebrants; it would not be practicable for the original celebrant to solemnise the marriage if the couple didn’t want them to.
This amendment simply cements this long-term advice by adding it to the legislation.
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
Schedule 3, Part 7
Single registration as authorised celebrant
Celebrants will only be able to be registered under one subdivision at a time, i.e. they’ll only be able to be Ministers of Religion of Recognised Denominations (Subdivision A), State and Territory Officers (Subdivision B), or Commonwealth-Registered Civil or Religious Marriage Celebrants (Subdivisions C and D). This is to ensure no confusion for celebrants who are operating under different requirements. Any current celebrants who are registered under more than one subdivision won’t be affected: it’s only going forward. We foresee no issues with this change.
The Celebrant Institute supports these amendments.
Thank you again for the opportunity to make this submission.
Sarah Aird Joshua Withers
21 December 2023
Attachment 1: Survey responses re remote witnessing of NOIMs
When the Covid measures end on 31 December 2022, and you can no longer witness NOIMs over video conferencing, how will that affect your business?
I am high risk with my health and this is a life saver literally to limiting the chance of myself being exposed to any virus/ colds or flus.
It will increase the time I spend organising to meet couples in person, and increase the complexity of running my business - I marry a lot of couples who live regional or who work irregular hours (hospitality, healthcare etc) which can make finding a time to catch up in person difficult. The NOIM is often the last thing couples think of when they’re getting married, so having the ability to sign online takes the stress out of meeting the 1 month deadline.
It’s like many things with an Act that is over 60 years old - archaic and needs repealing. Even the monitum does not reflect modern-day values. Having to witness the NOIM F2F can be very time consuming, especially in remote areas like I’m in. Especially with the price of fuel!
It will mean having to meet both parties face-to-face again, no matter the distance required, and will be more difficult when taking covid waves into account.
Personally I am not doing very much business now but it will definitely impact the business of busy celebrants. Being able to witness NOIM's over video conferencing has been great and allowed Celebrants to accept clients that would otherwise have been difficult, especially from overseas.
I will cry because life got that much harder. No, in all honesty, having to ask couples to find someone to witness the NOIM is annoying for both me and my couples. Sometimes they will leave it until the last moment, then struggle to find an appropriate witness at a time that is convenient for them. Some authorised people (such as police) are reluctant to witness because they don't understand what they're signing. Or worse, the couple get it signed by a pharmacist. NOIM witnessing has really simplified the process, and ensures that witnessing is always done correctly. This temporary measure has proven that witnessing over videoconference is not just possible, but also convenient and accessible. As celebrants, we are experts in marriage documentation and should be trusted to be able to do our jobs in the best way for both us and our couples.
It’s going to slow the processes of my business right down. I deal with couples from all over the country. Couples will continue to find it difficult to sign and manually mail the Notice in
It has been such a time saver for myself and my couples to not have to physically drive to and fro for a signature. With the cost of everything going up, people appreciate any thing that can reduce their costs and save time. You can buy a multi million dollar property electronically without video, without meeting in person, without so much as a phone call, just documents sent back and forth with an electronic signature at both ends, so why not continue to allow witnessing a document by video conferencing where we can still instruct them where to sign and explain in real time what they are signing, along with answering any of their questions?!
It will add significant inconvenience to the Celebrant and clients alike as well as costs and health risks
This will mean a lot more work and inconvenience of needing to meet up with couple in person. Due to the increase in COVID cases and other viruses doing the rounds, I am not comfortable having couples come into my family home nor am I comfortable having to meet in a busy cafe to sign documents. Many couples feel the same. I have found being able to witness the NOIM via Zoom invaluable as have my couples. It is a quick and safe process. It has also allowed me to get bookings from couples that do not live in my area whom I would not have been able to meet up with physically due to living on opposite sides of town. In this day and age, witnessing NOIM's via Zoom should remain in place. It is good for the industry as we all know how celebrants were hit hard by the lockdowns, losing money and unable to do our work.
It will make it more difficult to meet at suitable times and locations with clients, increase the time spent traveling, or increase risk of contact and spreading illnesses unnecessarily.
I do several regional weddings and so the couples will need to come to Adelaide to sign the paperwork. It is an inconvenience to the couple. Also couples that live interstate and want to get married in SA will have to make special trips. When video-conferencing ceases for signing the NOIM the window of opportunity for signing will be greatly reduced.
It will make things significantly more time consuming in trying to arrange in person meetings rather than being able to witness via online. Living in a remote area with couples generally travelling to destinations close to me for their weddings, this will again be somewhat inconvenient, especially in the hustle and bustle of the busy part of the season.
It will take up more time in my business having to travel to appointments.
Being in WA with a lot of FIFO workers there can be weeks delay in waiting for partners to return to Perth from their rosters.
More time in my business schedule meeting couples somewhere. Couples who live far away may not book anymore as we don’t have that online convenience; it makes a difference. Petrol money is costly. Couples WANT to sign over Zoom, it’s easier for them and us.
Significantly in every way possible!
Definitely effect my business. So much stress is taken off the process when couples can sign during a video call. Also saves the cost of driving to meet me and therefore better for the climate!
Substantially affect my business and in some cases cause undue stress if couples need to take time out to drive to my home to sign NOIM in my presence. Witnessing the NOIM's over a video call saves time, money, petrol and therefore is good news for the climate! It's been working successfully for 12 months and so why not continue this practise. If withdrawn it will feel like going backwards.
Whilst I haven't needed to witness signing the NOIM via video-conferencing over the past year, it would be beneficial to have this option made permanent and I support the changes that would need to be made in the Marriage Act for this to happen.
It will greatly inconvenience my couples many who are located interstate and in remote regional locations of Queensland.
It will make things tricky, I live in a small town that is a big wedding destination for Melbournians. I also have small children who have so far had covid twice each and at different times so I am stuck home a lot. It would be immensely helpful to keep the rule.
Dramatically, keep the opportunity to witness over video call in place forever.
Being able to sign NOIMs via video had been a game changer for myself and for couples. It expedites the process, provides a more streamlined customer journey and saves me and the couple a tonne of time! It also means that couples who live regionally don’t need to travel to sign one document and it also means I get to book more regional couples because there is no tyranny of distance keeping us part
It will affect the efficiency of my business
It will take so much more time for both myself and couples if we revert to in person signatures. It’s been incredibly helpful for interstate and rural couples to sign the NOIM digitally. It’s 2022. Keep it.
This will have a huge impact on myself and my couples- especially those interstate it’s living rurally. It saves so much valuable time being able to witness online. It really needs to stay. Its 2022
It can make the process a lot easier on the couples. I do most of my meetings face to face but have had a few couples sign over zoom, due to distance, lock outs and couples having covid.
At least two shortenings of the time would not have gone ahead without the video signing provision. I will likely have to increase my fees due to increased travel.
99% of my bookings have been online from other states. If this stops the carbon footprint will so much higher. With airfares rising we will lose alot of work.
It will mean more couples will be asked to go find JP's or police officers to witness NOIM's if we can't find a place or time to meet in person.
I'll send my couples to JPs to do have the NOIM witnessed
I simply will Not have time to travel one way 2.5 hours to the city where most couples I marry live to get them to sign in person. I live in a regional, destination wedding region. Couples don’t always come down here to meet their vendors either, making in person signing impossible for approx 90% of my clients. Electronic signing has made the most incredibly positive impact on my business and being able to marry all of the couples who had to postpone their weddings as a result of the covid pandemic has made me even busier next season. It makes no sense to go backwards. Electronic signing is the way of the future, surely?
It will mean a lot more travelling
It will be a significant detriment to my business as we deal with many couples wanting to be married in a months time and signing online is an expeditious way to do the NOIM's and have them married quickly. Having them go to the police station or doctor can add a delay to their marriage date.
Profoundly
I am based regionally and the video-conferencing allowance has revolutionised my business. I can safely say that 90% of my couples have been able to eliminate a 600km road trip and still meet their legal deadlines. It has also freed up a lot of travel and family time for me, and ensured a much more easy to meet schedule. I am far less stressed about the paperwork and much happier to handle things electronically. Record keeping is also a far smoother process now. A big winner in every way.
These days, many of us know marrying couples who are not within a driving distance. This will be a huge inconvenience to all parties involved. In this age of electronics, surely we should move with the times.
Dramatically! I live in a small country town in WA 3 hours from Perth. 95% of my couples are either from Perth , over east or overseas so having had the freedom & ease of singing the NOIM via zoom has been such a blessing , not to mention a time saver. It has reduced the stress on me & my couples of having to find availability in our busy schedules for F2F meetings. I urge you to reconsider this action and keep video signing in place. Thanks
It will make it more time consuming for clients and us and also put us and clients at more risk of exposure with covid etc. it also increases stress on clients and us with time, cost of travel , environment and more when we can just do it online !
Living in a rural community, having the ability to witness the NOIM remotely saved both myself and my couples a significant amount of time, energy and resources. Either myself or my couple would need to drive 6h+ return from the city to sign the required documentation which puts quite a strain on my small business and puts excess pressure on the couple if they need to drive to me. With a young family, witnessing the NOIM online allows me to carry out my work at home without needing to be away from my babies for long periods. Would be absolutely ecstatic if we have the opportunity to continue to use electronic tools to carry out our role as a celebrant. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Drastically. As a regional celebrant this has ensured minimal exposure and less downtime for my business. Covid is still huge in WA so the safety of myself and my couples is key. By having the option to work electronically it is safer, more accurate as I am witnessing all my own NOIMS instead of someone else and allows an extra touch point
As I officiate many long distant ceremonies the temporary option has been wonderful and a great addition to our profession and our clients. To retain this process would be of immense benefit both for the celebrant and clients.
Make a big impact on my business and time. Driving distances to meet can impact whether couple choose me.
There will be a lot of wasted time driving all over the countryside and interstate to meet couples to witnesses them signing their NOIM. This will also take me away from my time spent with my children and in some case mean additional babysitting measures will need to be put in place.
I am signing 95% of my NIMs over video conferencing, it is a quicker, easier process and couples love it.
So much has changed since the pandemic restrictions hit. I've had to create (and re-create) so many systems to try to manage all the constant changes. This instrument is a God-send for my ability to focus on delivering a high level of service and making the process straightforward for my clients. My clients buy houses together without ever going into a bank... I think it's unreasonable to expect small sole traders to have to go further than banks.
It would not be helpful to longer be able to witness NOIMs over video conferencing.
The ability to sight parties signing their NOIM's via video call is a great measure to ensure I'm proactively doing everything I can to stay Covid safe, in turn helping keep my couples and their wedding guests safe, plus my own family + friends. I would love to see it continue.
It will add tremendously to my business costs with higher travel costs
This will hugely affect my business as I will have to put my prices up to cover the time spent travelling to couples simply to sign this one form.
as I reside regionally, to take away remote witnessing will increase my overheads for travelling etc, please keep it forever
There's a risk of being infected with COVID again and finding myself unable to witness signatures on the NOIM remotely. There's also the risk of coming into contact with someone already infected with COVID, and being infected from visiting them to get signatures. It alleviates deadlines of couples who may be short on the 30 day minimum notice, to sign and witness remotely. Also with the price of petrol being at a record high, it is also financially viable to witness a signature remotely, rather than having to travel for a simple 15 minute meeting. To lose 5 entire weddings in 2 weeks, over being infected from a 15 minute meeting created a massive financial loss for me -not to mention struggling to organise other Celebrants (at the last minute), whilst being extremely ill from COVID and informing all my weddings that I had to be replaced. By changing the legalities back to witnessing in person, all of these benefits are lost. I would love to see a permanent change in witnessing the Notice of Intent to Marry remotely.
Yes
Negatively
It will go back to making it much harder on both myself and my couples as a lot of couples choose my location but don’t live anywhere near here.
It will impact my business significantly as most of my couples are from interstate and/or rural areas
Many of my couples are marrying in secret and a few of them are marrying with short lead times
The reversion of the remote signing will make things more difficult for my couples and May impact on the number of couples who can use my services the way they would like to
It will be much less convenient- means we have to meet in person, exposing us to more germs and travel time unnecessarily.
It will reduce signing options for me and impose additional costs on those wishing to marry by way of travelling costs and time.
I will cry!
Signing electronically has been amazing, couples are able to meet last minute, in their PJ's or even when they are sick. I'm able to meet with couples last minute, in my PJ's or when I am sick. As I have elderly parents living with me, being able to sign electronically has reduced the chance that I will get sick and pass on to them or my family. It also saves time for both couples and myself. The meetings are generally more relaxed because the couple don't need to leave their comfort zone. We are able to sign other legal documents electronically, I really hope that this stays too :)
Time Management and extensive excess travel
It will increase the costs due to petrol price increases and having together in person
It re creates the cost of driving to meet clients that are a significant distance away. I also travel a lot and witnessing like this maintains my relationship with the couple. Otherwise I would be adding to their already full schedule.
It will effect my family and business massively. Couples interstate having to unnecessarily run around to get witnessed. Pre Ceremony Meetings having to be face to face resulting in huge overheads for food and beverages.
Significantly! Couples much prefer online.
I’m regionally based but work with couples across the state. Scheduling face to face meet ups is difficult, and made even more challenging with covid risks. Being able to do initial paperwork electronically has had a significant benefit for my business.
While my experiences are limited, I have just become registered, the big difference I'd report is that the electronic version is user friendly. While minimising errors, the electronic form is simple, clear and easy to populate. Let's make these pandemic measures permanent.
Cost me more petrol and time to meet with couples. Put my health at risk which puts wedding attendance at risk too.
More travelling to see couples for signing and at times that may be later at night due to couple availability (because of their work hours/schedule)
Greatly
Additional time needed to meet in person
It will reduce the flexibility I have when it comes to meeting with clients whilst having a young family, it means I will always be away from home most weeknights for meetings and away for the weddings which often results in me not being able to see my family much, which at times puts strain on our relationships at home.
Increase in costs, time, fuel, less environmentally friendly. Wonder if this will impact couple’s decision to travel to the district.
Negatively. Witnessing over video conference has been the best! Saves time and money!
This will drastically increase the time for my couples most of them live regionally and don't work normal hours to get paperwork witnessed. Slowing the whole process down increases the risk of anxiety and can increase mistakes made by couples who then need to get the NOIM corrected and witnessed again.
If they need to meet me in person it contributes to the expense of the wedding adding on more travel. With fuel prices so high everything is just getting more expensive for them.
It will not allow us to makeup some of the time time lost during lockdown
It will make it so much harder to be covid safe for upcoming weddings and be very inconvenient once it becomes face-to-face again
Adversely. Adding time and costs going and meeting with couples in person. This can be one hour travel each way ... Time I could be performing other aspects of my business and incurring the cost of diesel which is increasing rapidly.
Hours I can offer signing meetings will be reduced to school hours. Increased time & fuel travelling to meetings. Police & doctors witnessing a document that I possibly haven’t checked = more room for errors
Increase time pressure
It has made it easier to witness NOIMs for couples who don’t live locally and even couples who live locally when we struggle to arrange an appropriate time to meet.
I will miss it dearly
It won’t.
Not at all
It won’t.
It won’t
No effect
Will not affect my business
It won’t effect business as such but it will effect convince for out of town clients..
It won’t
It won't
Not a great deal
It won't at all, but it would be nice to know I have the option
It would not effect me at present however I support allowing the witnessing NOIM over video conferencing to continue.
It doesn't make much difference to me personally as I give my couples clear instructions on where to get the NOIM witnessed but it will SAVE THEM time in not having to go to a local police station (for example). It does feel like a step backwards not to be able to witness over Zoom.
### Create a rabbit hole for your couples to "fall" down
For close to a decade I've been "banging on" about celebrants like you creating content for your couples. It's the easiest play in my opinion. You share wisdom, expertise, heart, and opinion, and in return you get clients who aren't shopping for price but they're shopping for you and you alone.
But something I've not really communicated when I'm talking about content creation is the idea that there's a bigger plan at play. There's something larger at stake. I'm talking about rabbit holes.
Wikipedia explains it well:
"Down the rabbit hole" is an English-language idiom or trope which refers to getting deep into something, or ending up somewhere strange. Lewis Carroll introduced the phrase as the title for chapter one of his 1865 novel Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, after which the term slowly entered the English vernacular. The term is usually used as a metaphor for distraction. In the 21st century, the term has come to describe a person who gets lost in research or loses track of time while using the internet.
Your job is to create a you-themed and you-smelling rabbit hole for your clients to fall down.
They'll find you through one small piece of content, whether it's a listing on Google, or a social media post, and then if you've whet their appetite well enough, they'll come looking for more, and hopefully by the time they do that, you've made more.
You've been posting meaningful and interesting content on social for years now.
You've been blogging, podcasting, vlogging, streaming, whatever, consistently and qualitatively for a long time, and they get to experience all of it as they fall down your rabbit hole.
The only problem is that the easiest way to do something for a long time is to do it for a long time, and if you haven't been, then the best time to start doing something like this for a long time, is today.
### The right (and new) form to use when you have an interpreter at a wedding
The Attorney-General's Department's Marriage Law and Celebrants Section announces a significant update: a new Certificate of Faithful Performance by Interpreter.
This change and changed form for 2024, results from modifications to Commonwealth Statutory Declarations, was developed in consultation with the Celebrant Institute and other professional networks.
Download it here
The Role of Interpreters
Do you need an interpreter? An interpreter is crucial when parties involved in the ceremony are not fluent in the language used. Unlike translators, who deal with written text, interpreters facilitate spoken communication. Their presence ensures that all parties fully comprehend the proceedings, a fundamental aspect of legal and emotional significance in marriage ceremonies.
When to Use an Interpreter
Celebrants should consider using an interpreter in the following situations:
When either party to the marriage is not fluent in the ceremony's language.
If key participants (like parents or witnesses) require language assistance to understand the ceremony, though this is not legally required unless these people are witnesses to the certificates.
In ceremonies involving sign languages, such as Auslan, for deaf or hard-of-hearing individuals.
Incorporating Interpreters in Ceremonies
Incorporating an interpreter requires careful planning:
Introduce the interpreter at the beginning of the ceremony, explaining their role.
Ensure the interpreter is positioned where they can be easily seen and heard by those requiring their services.
Celebrants should pause at appropriate intervals to allow for accurate interpretation.
Professional Considerations
While the use of professional interpreters is ideal, friends or family members may also serve in this role, provided they are not parties to the marriage. Regardless, the selected interpreter must complete the necessary pre- and post-ceremony documentation, including the newly introduced Certificate of Faithful Performance.
This form, now a required component of the legal framework surrounding marriage ceremonies, underscores the critical role of interpreters in fostering inclusivity and understanding in these significant life events.
### Fresh Faces in Celebrancy: Melissa Edwards' Energetic Entry
In this vibrant episode of the Celebrant Talk Show, host Josh Withers welcomes the enthusiastic Melissa Edwards, a newly minted celebrant who completed her Certificate IV in Celebrancy with the Celebrant Institute.
As part of our series on fresh celebrants, Melissa shares her inspiring journey - from witnessing her sister's wedding to becoming a celebrant herself.
With a passion for creating inclusive ceremonies and a unique, relaxed style, Melissa is redefining the celebrant scene.
Join us for an enlightening conversation full of practical insights, personal stories, and the highs and lows of starting out in this beautiful profession. Whether you're a budding celebrant or a seasoned professional, Melissa's story is sure to motivate and entertain. Don't miss out on this episode full of heart, humour, and helpful tips!
Transcript:
In this short run series on the celebrant talk show we're talking to brand new celebrants. celebrants that have recently got their cert foreign celebrancy and they're fresh out of the gate making ceremonies for awesome couples that are getting married. Today we're talking to Melissa I hope it's an encouraging chat for you and if you'd like to know more about studying the cert foreign celebrancy how to become a celebrant and if you already are a celebrant then there's so many resources for you along with a membership and encouragement program go to the website celebrant.institute and if you want to find more episodes of this podcast celebrant.fm My name is Melissa, I'm Melissa Edwards and I became a celebrant in I think it was February this year. What a journey. It was a long journey. Doing the study for the the actual act of becoming a celebrant is a little bit more than some people realize so I want to talk about that in a second but first of all what's your why? What's your what's your reason for wanting to to get yourself an A number and become a celebrant? Yeah okay so I went to my sister's wedding and I'd also helped her through the whole process. She's not a very sloppy person and I am and I'd helped her write the vowels, research readings all that sort of thing and she sort of said oh you've got a bit of a knack for this and I thought yeah it's really fun and I enjoyed kind of helping her with I don't know just a lot of the wording and then at the ceremony I was watching the celebrant and had a chat with her after about what it kind of entailed and little seeds sort of planting and I thought oh I think I could like this and yes I ended up going for it and I really enjoy it. I feel like there's two kinds of celebrants that an aspirational celebrant says there's a celebrant that was amazing and you think I was so inspirational I want to be like that person or was there the celebrant who left you wanting more? I hope and trust that the celebrant you saw was a great one? She was great she was yeah quite gracious warm she was just a really good speaker and it flowed really nicely it was a really sweet lovely warm ceremony and I quite like that yeah and she was a little older she was maybe a bit more tradition the warmth still came through and I sort of started thinking well I'd be younger and a bit different in my style and how would do it so I thought it started getting the wheels turning of how I would do it if it was me and my style and you know how I would get it going so it was nice to see the difference but also see some of the traits that are like. Okay well so tell us so what was your you that you wanted to hope to take to market the thing that you thought you could do exceptionally well or different that you thought would be interesting to couples? Some of my friends that had gotten married often the celebrants were a bit older or quite very formal in their approach even though the content was really great and I suppose I wanted to have great content but maybe be a bit more relaxed and current in how what might be appealing to maybe people more in the age frame of 30s 40s 50s that might appeal yeah and also I'm in quite an inclusive celebrant I'm gay and I wanted to appeal to people's non-binary gay whatever heteros as well just a very kind of open everybody's accepted sort of feeling with my ceremonies and I have been doing that yeah so that's been really great I live in Ballarat near Dalesford it's quite a queer community and so I've been connecting with with the community and having some interest so it's been really good. I don't know if I've shared this story on the podcast before but one of my one of my earliest conversations with a couple as clients potential clients that were two girls get married and this would be let's look at 2013 so a good was it was the 2017 that the marriage came in? Yeah around then it was before the pandemic. It was like A, P, B, P before the pandemic happened. Before my friend had become celebrant in the queer community did it during COVID because it had just been legalized so yeah you're right I think. Yeah so it must mean we are 2013 that I met with this couple and and like I said it was my first time as a as a celebrant maybe a couple potentially to be there celebrant and I sat down and I bring a lot of energy to some meetings just to kind of as an active leadership like you know I know that you don't know what's going on that kind of thing and so so like just bring some some kind of joy and leadership and so I came out of the gates and said I'm so excited to be a celebrant because unlike so many of my clients so many of my clients so many of my couples you two can can do what you like you're not bound by by years hundreds and thousands of years of tradition you're not bound by religious tradition you're not even bound by law you can just do what you like. And and I said what do you mean we're not bound by law? I said oh well because you know and they said what do you mean? I said well because it's your your marriage wouldn't be and I'm just kind of stumbling at my words dying because I'm realizing that they didn't know that they couldn't get married. Oh no you're mortifying. They're crying, I'm feeling stupid. Oh my gosh. Wow wow this is a point that they didn't know well okay. Oh this is disappointing for that moment but I I still maintain that uh that and it's funny out of the um out of the the couples I've met that have been allowed to marriage since 2017 a lot of them um kind of like uh the teenager who finally leaves home and buys a big tin of Milo because you know he can finally book and finally eat all the Milo I want take that mum and dad kind of the same way with their wedding they're like aha I'm finally gonna get that traditional wedding that you guys have been holding back from me and so no like just make our numbers say half would be like that and half would be like oh cool like we are we are we're fresh blood we're like we're like a new kind of a new cutting from the tree we'll do something innovative and unique and special so it's a cool time to be working. Yeah definitely I think so too yeah. So how did you find the study? Okay so oh it was epic really epic but wonderful uh okay so um you know some parts of it were dry for me I enjoy the practical side more than the theory side but you know it's still amazing and you need to learn it uh so the assessments in the beginning it was really good learning I really enjoyed it um it was a lot to get through but valuable and I think one of the best parts was sort of learning later when you are a celebrant that you've got so much material to read from you don't have to memorize everything it's important to learn it as you're learning but later on you've got the guidelines you've got the marriage act you've got so much to look back on and always get the information from so it's going to be okay you know you feel at the time like oh my gosh you're so much info how am I going to remember all this you don't have to remember it all but you need to know the essentials um absolutely it's definitely going yeah and it was wonderful to really learn it because I think there's been a fair few celebrants that maybe didn't get as detailed training and felt very unequipped and I feel like I got so much detail so much great information so much support better than many others and I feel very grateful for that uh and it continues after I mean you can stay with you guys with the celebrant institute um you know posts and everything there's so much info still and support there I think so if you did if you do it through the pdf you've obviously got access to those pdfs and those documents forever because yeah I'm assuming they're in your drop box categorized they're very handy yeah but but then if you've done the um uh it must be the start of 2022 30 years or more together uh but yeah we have to add to a very online course and the same thing you can still access that forever so if you if you do the course today and yeah you become authorized tomorrow um uh you still go back and access that forever which is really really helpful because that certainly wasn't the case when I became a celebrant yeah there's so many templates that I use all the time you know because there's so much you need I mean you're doing welcome letters you're doing all these sort of follow-up things there's just you never know what's going to be thrown at you and I feel like I can always find something in there that will help me uh yeah it's been really really great actually um and just the basics of even invoices and receipts and all all that it's helpful to sort of see examples and you change it and do your own thing with it but you feel like you've got everything you need to start and then you go out from there with your own you know branding or whatever on it but um yeah it's been awesome I love that I'm really happy that that's there yeah were you the kind of person who thought that the course couldn't have been as big um as as it was made out to be no I thought it was going to be pretty big um because I did ring around quite a few celebrants beforehand ones that I thought looked amazing and asked them what they recommended for the training and they said you guys which is why I did it oh that's so good and um and I read reviews and I sort of did a bit of research and I saw that it was much more detailed than the other ones and that's what I wanted so although it is a lot um it's worth it I think so yeah I kind of knew it was going to be a lot but um maybe not to the extent but that's okay it's it's a big undertaking so you've got to be serious about it but it's really valuable how long did it take the um the Attorney General's office to to uh process your paperwork the full three months to me the full three months the stories I'm hearing these days it takes the full three months give or take a day yeah I would say so yeah it was a wait um that's okay because I was still preparing a lot of things and um yeah I think I needed a little breather maybe after everything so it was it was kind of okay for me I didn't mind yeah and you know I also have a work life where I work four days a week and I do my celebrancy on one day a week and then you know when I do other bits and pieces as well so I fit it in with my life it's um with my other job so I kind of go at my own pace with everything um yeah so that's okay for me you've already talked a little bit about um how you hoped to bring yourself to market uh but I you know you've been a celebrant for a few few hours now how have you found how have you found that process uh coming to market uh you know web social directories etc that kind of thing it's been a real learning process uh learning about seo was a big thing that I've been researching and learning and at first I couldn't even find in a google search once I first started and had my website up it wasn't popping up it took a fair bit of work to get that to happen and I pretty much did ads on you know you do google business um instagram facebook uh starting to really pump that and that really started to get things happening and actually get some movement and people to actually find my website and then going through and making the searches of what people you know what you've chosen for the search is more specific because first it was melbourne celebrant I'm not in melbourne and I don't want to waste my money on what I've been for the ads being melbourne based uh so just refining things so you're getting better value for your money are the ads really reflect you and it just started to happen more and more and also on facebook I really have used that a lot facebook wedding groups and for me the lgbtq balorak group because people post up there and say does anyone know an inclusive celebrant and I'm on there straight away um chatting to them and sending my link so yeah that's kind of how I've been growing it and I've got many more ideas it's you know it's early in the baby stage is still and I'm always delighted when someone contacts me it's very exciting you go oh it's working um yeah but there's more and more and I'm going actually tomorrow night I'm going to a wedding industry ball in balorak and I've been going to expos I wasn't uh registered in time to have a stall but I still went to a wedding expo near me and had a chat to celebrants and they were wonderful in balorak area and they will give me the contact and said let's hang out let's connect um let's talk about ideas and we're happy to give you guidance as well it's been really welcoming so I think also at the ball it's going to be nice to connect with other vendors and suppliers just to so everyone kind of see each other's faces and then when you do cross paths you've got some familiarity so um networking in that way is helpful too hopefully for referrals down the future yeah so and I just got magnets for my car with my business logo got the business cards made and um yeah I've got other plans to join some expos as well and things like that so things in the works and getting photos getting photos done so you can put things on instagram and facebook you got to do all that stuff yeah and learning how to actually post things and do it well or getting better as you go well I hope that um that the celebrants are cheap not just the training through the RCA but the membership would be a blessing to you with that stuff as well because that's uh obviously that's the kind of stuff we're passionate about and we're posting that all the time and um of course you can always jump on the ask page as well and if we can um help us find more particular uh with with that said I um I wanted to wrap up the podcast uh with with with uh one final question uh or like what have you found the toughest across the entire journey from wanting to come a celebrant to today you know it was um like choosing uh where to study the study the application come into market what's been the biggest struggle for you when I got my first wedding and then they cancelled that was I'm sorry that was a real hard one so I haven't done a wedding yet but I have some booked now which is great for you know next year or further in the year um and I was so excited when I had my first wedding booked and then they and they paid their booking fee and you know we started doing the norm and all that but then they cancelled um so that was a real disappointment and then it was like dead silence for about a month and um that was a real challenge but it got me motivated and I went all right well I'm not doing something right here I'm not being seen enough okay I didn't work with them but I'm gonna keep going and and then I did get another booking um once I really pumped up the advertising so yeah I had a bit of a downtime then where I felt really disappointed because it was like a high and then a low but I went you know you feel your little sads and you eat lots of chocolate that day and have a bit of a Netflix day and then you go all right well come on let's just keep going how am I gonna how am I gonna up this so that I actually get out there and it gets bumping so yeah yeah I'd say because I was just so over overjoyed to have a booking like it was mind-blowing um yeah it was really disappointing but yeah it was a real growth experience after that I think yeah so it's kind of helpful in its own way and you do get ghosted and you get so close sometimes and it doesn't happen and then it and then when it does and it's all solid and it's happening it's it's really wonderful so you know you have you have your ups and downs with um starting out I think yeah absolutely no it's all part of the journey I'm writing a book at the moment called the rebels gods getting married and I uh I mentioned in there when when we're talking about contacting vendors just hit reply and let people know because I know you might be contacting 30 vendors but for the vendor you might be the one person that that in quiet today and we're human and we love to hear from you we love to hear feedback or whatever it might be because uh don't leave us hanging let's say it sucks when it goes you hey it's been a pleasure to uh talk to you today I wish you all the best on your celibate journey and I look forward to looking forward to seeing you grow and grow and grow and thanks for choosing the celibate institute to study with oh thank you you guys were wonderful and that's why I did the interview because you know gratitude and really appreciate the lovely work you've done so pleasure pleasure chatting you.
### Marriage law reform and change in 2024
As of June 12 2024 remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms is now law and you can visit this page for an update.
Rounding out my 2024 prediction series of blog posts we know for sure that change is on the horizon for the old Marriage Act of 1961.
This article is going to be simple so the point is made clearly. Clear is kind I heard someone say this week, so this article, written on the first day of 2024 will be kind.
Video call witnessing of NOIMs ended on the 31st of December 2023
The COVID-era provisions made by the Attorney General in 2020 to allow celebrants to witness notices of intended marriage to be witnessed over a video call have ended. Today, on the first day of January 2024 you cannot witness a NOIM over a video call. The only options you have are to witness it in person, or for the couple to sign in front of an authorised witness then send the NOIM to you.
Some forms are going to be updated
Some forms will be updated this year, so keep subscribed to our emails, and make sure you read every email from the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section (MLCS) of the AG department so you know when forms are updated.
Guidelines are going to be updated
A Guidelines to the Marriage Act update has been on the cards for some time but impending changes to the act mean the guidelines will be updated in kind and released when ready and perfect.
Remote witnessing will go before parliament this year
New changes to the marriage legislation - including the ability for celebrants to witness NOIMs remotely, over a video call, will go before parliament later this year and the results of that will be made known to you when we know more.
The marriage legislation is being reviewed
We've been invited to make submissions on the entirety of the marriage legislation, we're asking for it to be reviewed, and we'd love your help on that when necessary. Personally I'm asking for the notice period to be reviewed and if it were up to me I'd say three days. But it's not up to me, and I'm going to assume that most don't agree with me. Regardless, we're asking for it to be reviewed in line with a modern society in mind.
All of these items were discussed at our December 2023 meeting with the MLCS and you can read the debrief here.
There will be a new set of ongoing professional development topics
Keep your hungry eyes peeled for the 2024 OPD topics you professional developing legends!
Who knows what else
If 2020 taught me anything it's that January 1 can look very different from December 31. Here's to another exciting year in the world of marriage legislation and regulation of the celebrants program.
### Weddings are getting smaller and more intentional
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[et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text"]I am excited to forecast that 2024 will be hailed as the year of the intentional wedding. This is a shift that has been brewing for a while but is now taking center stage. It's a trend that aligns perfectly with our ethos at the Celebrant Institute – the belief in creating meaningful, memorable experiences that resonate deeply with our couples and their guests.
Less is More: The Intentional Guest List
This year, we're seeing a move away from the 'big fat wedding' to a more curated, intimate affair. Couples are choosing to have fewer guests, but better guests. This means trimming the guest list to include only those who truly matter – family members who have been integral to their lives, friends who have shared in their journey, and people who will actively contribute to the joy and significance of the day. This intentional guest list creates an atmosphere of love, warmth, and genuine celebration.
Quality Over Quantity: Selecting the Best Vendors
In line with smaller guest lists, there's a strong push towards higher quality in every aspect of wedding planning. Couples are investing more in selecting the best vendors who align with their vision and values. This isn't just about splurging on the most expensive options; it's about finding vendors who offer the best quality in terms of service, expertise, and personal connection. From photographers capturing those intimate moments to caterers providing exquisite culinary experiences, every vendor plays a crucial role in elevating the wedding experience.
A Focus on Better Planning
The intentional wedding trend also emphasizes better, more thoughtful planning. Couples are spending more time considering the details that will make their wedding unique and personal. This means customizing ceremonies to reflect their stories, choosing venues that speak to their personalities, and incorporating elements that celebrate their cultures and backgrounds. It's about creating an event that's not just a showcase of love but also a reflection of the couple's journey together.
Embracing the Small Yet Significant
The beauty of the intentional wedding lies in its focus on small yet significant celebrations. These weddings may be smaller in scale, but they are richer in meaning and quality. By choosing to invest in a higher-priced, but more intimate and personal wedding, couples are making a statement about what truly matters to them. It's a celebration that's not just for the day but for a lifetime.
The Bottom Line
As we embrace 2024, the year of the intentional wedding, we're seeing a delightful shift in how weddings are perceived and celebrated. It's a move towards authenticity, intimacy, and meaning.
For those in the wedding industry, this trend presents a wonderful opportunity to align with these values, offering services that resonate with this new wave of intentional celebrations.
Perhaps this involves creating new products, new packages, new price points, and new ideas in your celebrancy practice.
And for couples, it's a chance to create a wedding that truly reflects who they are, surrounded by the people who mean the most.
Here's to a year of meaningful, memorable, and intentional weddings![/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column]
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### Prices are going up: 2024 is the year for your price to go up
As wedding celebrants, we've weathered the storm of the pandemic, continuing to offer our cherished services amidst unprecedented challenges. However, it's time to acknowledge a critical aspect of our business that many of us have overlooked since before the pandemic: our pricing structure.
The year 2024 marks a pivotal moment for us to reassess and realign our service fees with the current economic landscape.
I've talked to three celebrants this last week that have already seen their own business expenses increase and they're charging more than $2,000 including GST for a wedding. If they can, and if I can, then you're allowed to as well.
What does inflation actually look like
For research I asked my dad for three different wages he's made over his lifetime and compare that to house prices of the time.
It sounded like dad was earning more in 2015 than he was in 1988, but adjusted for inflation he was earning 36% less while house prices went from about one years wage to about six years wages.
And eight years on its even worse.
The Case for Price Adjustment
Inflation and Rising Costs: The reality is, our operational costs have significantly increased. Fuel prices, insurance premiums, marketing expenses, and other business essentials have all been subject to inflation. Maintaining pre-pandemic pricing in 2024 not only undermines the value of our services but also puts financial strain on our businesses.
Valuing Our Services: As celebrants, we bring unique, personalised experiences to each wedding. Our skills, time, and the emotional investment we make in each ceremony are invaluable. Undercharging not only affects our bottom line but also inadvertently sends a message about the perceived value of our work.
A Practical Approach to Price Increase
Choosing the Right Moment: Implementing a price increase can be daunting. A strategic approach is to select a date that is almost guaranteed to book out – think a Saturday in spring or autumn. Quote your new, higher price for these peak times. This method allows you to gradually warm up to the idea of a price increase and gauge client reactions.
Transparent Communication: Be open with your clients about the reasons behind the price hike. Explain how the increased costs of running your business necessitate this change. Most clients understand and appreciate honesty, especially when it comes to ensuring the high quality of your services.
The Math Behind the Move
Let's talk numbers. If your operational costs have increased by, say, 15% since the pandemic, maintaining old pricing effectively means you're earning less than you used to. A price increase, therefore, is not about making more money in the traditional sense – it's about adapting to the economic changes to sustain your business's health and your livelihood.
2024 is not just another year; it's a call to action for all wedding celebrants. It's time we adjust our prices to reflect the current economic climate, the quality of our services, and the increased costs of doing business. This move isn't just beneficial – it's necessary for the sustainability and growth of our cherished profession.
As members of the Celebrant Institute, we owe it to ourselves and our clients to uphold the value of our services. Let's embrace this change with confidence and continue to provide exceptional experiences for every couple we have the privilege to work with.
### Red-team your celebrant business
With new celebrants entering the market every month, your marketing, sales, enquiry, and booking process need as much attention as your ceremony production and delivery do. I want to introduce the concept of red-teaming to your business.
You've probably heard of mystery shopping, and many of us have done it at some time to find out what others are charging or offering.
I don't encourage mystery shopping in the industry - it happens enough without my say - but I would encourage you to engage a "red team" to not just mystery shop you, but to identify weak points in your business.
Red teaming is the practice of rigorously challenging plans, policies, systems and assumptions by adopting an adversarial approach. A red team may be a contracted external party or an internal group that uses strategies to encourage an outsider perspective.
The goal of red teaming is to overcome cognitive errors such as groupthink and confirmation bias, which can impair the decision-making or critical thinking ability of an individual or organisation.
Ask people you respect, who have industry and professional knowledge you value, alongside people in your target market of couples getting married, to "attack" your business as a red team.
Empower them to enquire and attack you and eventually, help you succeed.
Ask them to:
find your weak spots, where do you not perform well
find your invisible spots, what are you not saying in your marketing, website, and communications
find your strong points, where are you performing well
So you can strategise for a better 2024.
The truth is that you are on the field of the game that is the wedding industry and if you don't know what your weak and strong points are then you're not fully equipped to win and we want you to win.
Near my house there's an Italian restaurant with a gigantic mirror on the second floor of the restaurant, you can see it from the street and it looks grand.
Recently a new coffee shop has opened up directly across the road from the restaurant and I've come to enjoy their coffee. Sitting inside the cafe this last week I glanced at the trattoria and instead of the grand mirror I saw a sea of blue.
It took me a moment but I soon realised that the blue-branded chemist next door to the new cafe was reflected in the mirror.
I saw the mirror from a different perspective and it was bright blue instead of the normal warm brown colours I'd often see it in.
Changing perspective lets you see things from a different angle, and changing your angle you see things from gives you a new perspective.
I hope you have the chance this year to see your business from a different angle.
### AI can allow you to express yourself meaningfully
In the evolving world of wedding planning, the role of a celebrant is continually transforming. Today's celebrants are not just facilitators of a ceremony; they are storytellers, advisors, and now, thanks to Artificial Intelligence (AI), they are becoming content creators. AI is revolutionising the way celebrants like you can share your expertise, create engaging content, and connect with your audience in ways that were previously inaccessible due to skill or time constraints.
The Michael Darius Example: A Beacon of AI's Potential
Michael Darius, a former Apple designer, serves as a prime example of how AI can bridge gaps in skill sets. Darius had a wealth of experiences and stories from his time at Apple, but he lacked confidence in his writing abilities to share these insights. With the advent of AI, Darius found a way to translate his thoughts and experiences into compelling content, reaching an audience that benefits from his unique perspective.
Transformative AI Tools for Wedding Celebrants
Content Creation and Blogging: AI can assist celebrants in drafting informative and engaging blog posts. By providing basic outlines or key points, AI can flesh out these ideas into well-structured articles. This not only saves time but also ensures a consistent output of quality content, crucial for SEO and online presence.
Podcasting and Video Production: AI tools can aid in scripting podcasts or videos, transforming rough ideas into polished scripts. For celebrants uncomfortable with off-the-cuff speaking, these tools can provide a structured approach to sharing their insights and stories.
Personalised Ceremonies: AI can help customise ceremonies by suggesting unique vows, readings, or anecdotes based on the couple's story. This personalisation adds depth and meaning to the ceremony, making it more memorable for the couple and guests.
Social Media and Engagement: AI-driven analytics can optimise social media strategies, targeting content to the right demographic, in my case, the 25-35 year-old, travel-loving, university-educated couples. This targeted approach ensures higher engagement and reach.
Training and Skill Development: AI can serve as a learning tool, providing resources and suggestions for improving public speaking, writing, or other relevant skills for celebrants.
Overcoming Challenges and Ethical Considerations
While AI offers immense potential, it's crucial to navigate its use ethically and responsibly. Ensuring that AI-assisted content remains authentic and true to your voice is vital. It's about striking a balance between leveraging technology and maintaining the personal touch that is so crucial in the wedding industry.
Embracing AI for a Brighter Future
AI is not just a tool for efficiency; it's a catalyst for creativity and personal growth. As a wedding celebrant, embracing AI can help you share your unique stories and expertise, much like Michael Darius, but in your own distinctive style. It’s an opportunity to enrich your offerings, connect deeply with your clients, and continue to thrive in an ever-changing industry.
Learn more about prompting and prompt engineering at promptingguide.ai.
### The rise of the expert and the death of "whatever you want"
Go to any wedding celebrant's website and there's a 50% chance that somewhere on the front page they'll say something like "your wedding your way" which is lovely and kind. Of course, the customer is always right as Harry Gordon Selfridge taught us, but the customer doesn't always know what they want.
In 2024, the wedding client is looking for an expert, someone who can understand the client's needs and deliver a product for them.
As modern couples seek to make their wedding day unique and special, the role of the wedding expert has never been more crucial. This shift from a 'whatever you want' attitude to a more expert-driven approach marks a significant change in the wedding industry. Today's couples are often overwhelmed with options and decisions, making the guidance of a seasoned professional not just helpful, but essential.
The modern wedding celebrant is more than just a facilitator of vows; they are architects of experience. Couples today yearn for personalized ceremonies that reflect their stories and values. This requires a celebrant who is not only a good listener but also an insightful interpreter of a couple's vision. The expertise lies in translating personal narratives into meaningful and authentic ceremonies.
Moreover, the rise of social media and online inspiration platforms has led to couples being inundated with trends and ideas. While this abundance of inspiration is exciting, it can also be paralyzing. An expert celebrant helps couples navigate these waters, identifying what truly resonates with them and discarding fleeting trends that don't align with their vision.
In this new era, the phrase "your wedding, your way" takes on a deeper meaning. It's not just about accommodating any request but about expertly crafting a celebration that authentically represents the couple. This expertise is not just in the execution but in the curation of ideas, rituals, and elements that make a wedding genuinely personal and memorable.
For celebrants, this evolution necessitates continuous learning and adaptation. Staying abreast of trends, understanding new cultural norms, and honing the skill of deeply connecting with clients are all part of the modern celebrant's repertoire. It's about becoming a consultant, guide, and confidant, as much as it is about being a celebrant.
Plus, in world where fake, or the possibility of things not being real, experts and trust will increase in value.
In conclusion, as we embrace the rise of the expert in the wedding industry, it's clear that the value of a celebrant extends far beyond just conducting a ceremony. It's about creating a space where the couple's story is celebrated in a way that is as unique as their love. The death of the 'whatever you want' era is not a loss but an evolution towards more meaningful, personalised, and expertly crafted wedding experiences.
### Social networking is getting small while social media is going big time
The digital era is witnessing a significant transformation in how we connect, communicate, and consume content. In the realm of social networking and media, a paradigm shift is underway. Traditional social networking is increasingly migrating to more intimate spaces like group chats, private forums, email groups, and platforms such as Discord.
Meanwhile, social media is evolving into a broadcast medium akin to television and radio. For Australian wedding celebrants, understanding and adapting to these changes is crucial for building community and effectively marketing our services.
The Shift in Social Networking
Historically, social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have been the go-to platforms for personal interactions and professional networking. However, there's a growing trend of these interactions moving towards more private and focused spaces. Group chats and private forums are offering a more controlled environment, enabling deeper, more meaningful connections. This shift is partially driven by users' desire for privacy and relevance in their interactions.
The Broadcast Nature of Modern Social Media
Parallel to the evolution of social networking, social media platforms are transforming into broadcast channels. The emphasis is increasingly on content consumption rather than interaction. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok are prime examples where content is king, and the primary interaction is through likes and views rather than comments and discussions. This change mirrors the traditional dynamics of TV and radio, where content is broadcasted to a wide audience with limited direct engagement.
So what do we do?
Build Communities in Private Networks.
Create Exclusive Groups: Establish private groups on platforms like Discord, Memberful, Facebook or dedicated forums for your clients and peers. These spaces can be used for sharing insights, answering queries, and building a sense of community. Even consider group chats with all your clients using WhatsApp, Telegram, or Instagram Messenger Broadcast Channels.
- Leverage Email Groups: Regular newsletters or email discussions can be a powerful tool to keep your audience engaged and informed.
Engage in Meaningful Conversations.
Participate Actively in Chats and Forums: Be present and active in group chats or forums related to weddings and celebrancy. Offer valuable advice and build relationships within these communities.
Adapt to the Broadcast Nature of Social Media.
Create Engaging Content: Develop visually appealing and informative content for platforms like Instagram and TikTok. Think of these platforms as your broadcasting station to reach a broader audience that you can bring into your private communities and even become clients.
Utilise Video Content: Leverage the power of video content to engage your audience. Short, captivating videos can effectively convey your message and showcase your services.
Invest in Targeted Advertising
Use Social Media Ads: With social media transitioning to a broadcast medium, paid advertisements can be more effective in reaching your desired audience.
Embrace New Platforms
Explore Emerging Spaces: Be open to exploring new platforms like Discord, where you can create dedicated channels for discussions related to weddings and celebrancy.
Offer Value and Build Trust
Provide High-Value Content: Whether in private groups or public social media, ensure that the content you share is valuable and enhances your reputation as a knowledgeable and trustworthy celebrant.
The landscape of social networking and social media is evolving rapidly. For celebrants, adapting to these changes is not just about staying relevant; it's about thriving in a digital age where connections and content are king.
By building communities in private networks and embracing the broadcast nature of modern social media, we can effectively reach and engage our target audience.
Let's embrace these changes with enthusiasm and creativity, and continue to make every celebration a memorable one.
### Blogging is coming back!
In 1997 the term "web log" was shortened to blog and ever since common people like you and I have had the power to write and publish on the internet. For the longest time it was the only way you shared your mission, your life, your opinion, your story.
“Not only are bloggers suckers for the remarkable, so are the people who read blogs.” – Seth Godin
It very quickly became a way for the small business operator - like you and I - to share their story, tips, hints, and behind the scenes content. All golden content for small business people to build relationship with their clientele.
We could establish our authority in our area of expertise, give away tasters of milk hoping that people buy a litre from the farm, plus there were the search engine optimisation benefits in solidifying your product, service, offering and expertise to help the right people find you.
Blogging was awesome and many of us built our businesses on it.
The day the music died
Then the allure of publishing and broadcasting on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Threads, LinkedIn, Medium, Twitch, SnapChat, Twitter, X, the others I've missed, took our attention.
Those platforms had the eyes and they took ours.
Or blogs laid bare, forgotten, neglected.
2024 is the year of the blog coming back. Those other platforms, they don't care about you. Especially now. As algorithm-driven news feeds dominate those platforms you and I sharing our expertise and our story pales.
“Don’t focus on having a great blog. Focus on producing a blog that’s great for your readers.” – Brian Clark
The internet is becoming weird
But in 2024 the internet is becoming weird. What we used to call social networks are basically just broadcast networks now, like Channel 7 or Foxtel. Every day they become less like a community marketplace of ideas and more like a TV network full of ads.
Where is that community marketplace where we build relationships? Among the list of places you might list, at the top is your blog, it's comment section, and your email inbox.
What to blog?
You sharing engaging stories worthy of a comment. You sharing your expertise in a way that validates your product offering and your high price. You demonstrating the voice and the personality the couple will receive when they book you.
Answer the common questions you're asked, and
as you walk away from every wedding, every client meeting, every sales meeting think about what parts of that interaction deserve to be shared with the world - if even in a sanitised state - to serve your mission to blog daily
The best part is that you don't need hundreds or thousands of views a month to be successful.
If x is the number of weddings your business plan aims to book each year, then you need basically about x to view a few of your blog posts a year.
Write for computers as well as people
Be smart about how you write and share, so that the search engines like Google, Bing, Kagi and others find you.
“The casual conversational tone of a blog is what makes it particularly dangerous” – Daniel B. Beaulieu
Expect that people will skim your content so write accordingly, pulling out quotes or using headings to allow them to skip through the post. Prepare for ChatGPT, and which ever large language models come in the future to read your blog and use it for their purposes, the benefit will be that the gross sum of your writing will attribute towards you being found by the AI, the search engines, the computers.
Let your blog be the first draft of all your other content
Once you've clicked publish that's only step one. That blog post should spur on 30 other bits of content, whether it's you recording a podcast and a video of that same post, sharing pull quotes, or building out other content inspired by that post, your blog is your new content gold mine.
Blog so you can make a dollar
Finally, write in a way that proves you are the awesome human you are, with the intelligence and unique smarts you hold, so that the world can find out who you are, and the right couple can realise that there is no other celebrant right for them other than you.
Post by @indelibleconcepts
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### How to Celebrate and Not Hyperventilate with Megan
Embark on a celebrant's journey with Megan Studman and Josh Withers in the Celebrant Talk Show! From certification to conducting her first wedding, Megan's story is a fascinating dive into the world of celebrancy. Learn about the challenges and joys of becoming a celebrant, how to stay motivated through the course, and what it takes to create ceremonies that truly resonate. This episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone interested in the art of celebrancy, seasoned professionals, and newcomers alike. Tune in and be inspired!
In this engaging episode of the Celebrant Talk Show, host Josh Withers takes us through an insightful conversation with Megan, a new celebrant who has recently completed her certification with the Celebrant Institute. Megan talks about her journey, from her initial decision to become a celebrant during Melbourne's lockdowns to the completion of her Certificate 4 in Celebrancy. She shares the challenges and triumphs she faced, including the nerve-wracking wait for her registration from the Attorney General's Department and the excitement of conducting her first wedding.
Listeners will find valuable advice on navigating the overwhelm of starting the course, the importance of having a study buddy, and the practical steps to entering the celebrant market. Megan candidly discusses her aspirations, her approach to creating personal and meaningful ceremonies, and the importance of finding her unique voice in the industry. The episode provides a real-world perspective on the celebrant's journey, offering encouragement and practical tips for both new and experienced celebrants.
Transcript
[MUSIC PLAYING] You're listening to the Celebrant Talk Show with me, Josh Withers. I'm your host today. And we're on a series talking to new, fresh, fresh out of the gate celebrants that have done a Certificate Four in Celebrancy. And if you're new to the game, as in, you'll think about becoming a celebrant, that's the qualification you need to get to become a celebrant in the Commonwealth of Australia. And so please enjoy their journey. Figure out what the course is like and how to become a celebrant. And if you already are a celebrant, I hope that these conversations are encouraging for you. You can learn a little bit more from someone who's walked through the gates a lot longer after you have. To find more episodes, go to celebrant.fm. Of course, this podcast is produced by the Celebrant Institute. We provide help mentoring support for celebrants through our membership program. Plus, we also provide the certificate for in celebrancy through the Celebrant Institute RTO. And all of that can be found on the website, celebrant.institute. [MUSIC PLAYING] My name is Megan. I completed my certificate for with the Celebrant Institute at the end of last year, so the end of 2022. And about a month ago, I finally received my registration from Attorney General's Department. So I'm fresh. I'm brand newbie out in the real world. Fresh off the block. Yeah, exactly. They sent me out into the wide world, allowing me to sell nice people's marriages against all odds. So yes, I'm a newbie. I remember getting that letter. Actually, question, because it's funny. I've talked to a few people about this, and I've assumed-- is it an email now, or do you still get the letter? It's an email. Yeah, I thought so. And funnily enough, I was hoping to do-- so I had said I would do my first wedding for a friend I went to school with, with a huge disclaimer that at the time I agreed to do it, I was not actually qualified. But Attorney General's had given me enough confidence to believe that I would get it in time. And I followed up, and followed up, and followed up. And then it was literally the afternoon of the exact day, almost three months later, that I received that email from them. I don't know. So they told me not to follow up before three months, and it was three months to the day that came through on an email. It's interesting you say that, because quite a few people have reported it as being like, give or take a day or three. It's been dead on three months. I feel that's just their thing today. I feel like it just must be a peak bureaucracy in action. And I say that with affection, being a camberen and a former public servant. I know how these things work, but they've got their dates that they're going to process things and review them and send it out to people, and there's no rushing that. So that was-- it was a painstaking wait, because I then received that email from Attorney General's office 10 days before my friend's wedding that I was going to be celebrating at. So it was a very happy day, and I was very glad to be able to do my first wedding a couple of weeks ago, which was great. I'm really happy for you. Congratulations. And what I was going to say is I remember getting the letter, which was, back in my day, you got letters in the mail. But I felt the same way I felt when they handed me my newborn daughter, and they're like, yeah, just-- you're a parent now. Just go on. Go on, get out there. It was a little bit like that being a celebrator. You're a celebrator now. Just go on. You can do it, mate. Go on, get out there. Well, I can't quite relate to being sent home the newborn, but it's definitely up there the time I went to pick up a new puppy, and they just let me drive off with her. And I thought-- and I remember just looking at it, we were just sitting in the car looking at each other, like, what do we do now? I guess we just go home and do this thing together. It was a bit like that, actually, and especially showing up to my first wedding. But I did feel-- I felt like the trading kicked in as corny as that sounds. I do feel really prepared. Yeah. That's the goal, right? Exactly. Exactly. Who would have thought that almost two years, which is what I turned my daddy into, who would have thought I learned some things along the way? Yes. That turned out to be useful. Well, let's start at the start then. Why become a celebrator? There's a million good careers listed on Chat GPT. You chose celebrant as something you wanted two words to get involved in. Why? What was your genesis story? I guess there's not one particular reason or moment that I decided to do it. It's something that I've had in the back of my head for a long time. And I'd spoken to friends when they were getting married and gotten excited. I've always loved being part of friends' weddings and being bridesmaid and being an emcee before. And always thought it would be very cool to be a celebrant, but not something I ever got around to looking into. And so being here in Melbourne in our extensive lockdowns was what actually prompted me to finally take the plunge. I had a lot of time up my sleeve. And I wanted to feel like I was using the time to do something productive. So I did a bit of quick bit of online research. I wouldn't say it was extensive, but I came across Celebrant Institute. And I saw that they were delivering fully online and self-paced, which meant I could do it around my full-time job. I could do it in my own time. And I thought, it can't be that hard. I'll just give it a go. I feel like-- Famous last words. I know. Can't be that hard. I know. And if I send this recording to my mum one day, she'll be laughing because she's helped me a lot. And it's been throughout this thing kept keep me on track many times when I wanted to give up throughout the study process. But I think more than anything, it was just a fun and creative outlet alongside my 9 to 5 job. I think my personality and temperament is well suited to it. I love hearing about people's relationships and why they work and what makes them unique. I like drinking their champagne at weddings as well. So there was a little bit of that too. But it just felt like something I could basically get started is something I could just use my-- and I would have felt like I've accomplished something, something that I've always had in the back of my mind as well. I didn't quite envisage it would take me two years to do it. But that was what I was thinking at the time of taking the plunge and starting my certificate form. And you've already mentioned that maybe your expectations of the course were different to the reality. What's your advice for someone getting into it today? I would say if you feel overwhelmed initially, don't be scared off by that. I feel like that's part of the process. The overwhelm is inevitable. So push through that. And secondly, buddy up with somebody else who's studying. They don't have to be in the same city. But just to feel like there's somebody you can ask or even just study together over Zoom or meet up with, have coffee, ask you little questions with. Just someone to feel like you're on the journey with them. Because I think studying can be quite an isolating process without that, particularly doing an online course. Or I would say those two things. Don't be put off by the initial overwhelm and buddy up with somebody who's on a similar journey. Those are the two things that really helped me. Having done the course and received your registration, what's your plan? What's your go-to-market plan? Is it going to be something you keep in your back pocket? Are you planning to take over the world? What's the plan for you as a celebrant? Initially, maybe somewhere in between. It's something I haven't really proactively started looking into building a website or marketing or anything at all like that. I've got my first wedding under my belt. And I'm doing another one for some friends later this year. And I think once I get those two under my belt, I might feel a bit more confident in being a little bit more proactive. I always said I wanted to do it just for family and friends to friends and people I have a connection to. But I do foresee myself enjoying it so much that I'd like to find a way to do more of it. Because I think it's one of those professions, the more you do, the better you get at it as well. So in the meantime, I still have my 9 to 5 job. And that won't change. But if there's a way I can add more of this lovely creative outlet and being a part of people's special days in the future, I'm definitely going to pursue that. But I just want to get a first couple under my belt, get a bit of confidence from that, and then see how I feel. Because you've got to test the waters a little bit. I always like to ask people what their differentiator is, what their point of difference is. And I'll ask you-- I put a pin in there for a second. But there's also the fact that I remember my first-- I would say I didn't really know who I was as a celebrant until late 2013. And I was authorized in May 2009. So that's four years in the wilderness there, trying to figure out what am I good at, what are my strengths, what are my weaknesses, what do people care about. For example, a lot of celebrants get really up in the wedding industry game and with other celebrants and having celebrities. And please do all that. But there's not a couple on the planet that cares so many celebrant friends you have. It's their wedding. And so there's that time that is required to figure out how do you matter to people. So as I said, I was going to ask, do you feel you've got a differentiator or something unique? But then also reflecting on that, how do you see yourself and your celebrants practice-- celebrancy practice are mattering to people? That is an excellent question and maybe something I should have put more thought in before attempting to answer. Honestly, I don't know because I know there's so many incredible celebrants out there who've nailed their niche. And I followed them on Instagram for a long time. And I think I really aspire to be that honed and they so clearly know their audience. I haven't really thought about who my audience is beyond people I know, to be honest, friends or friends or friends or family. I think going forward and what really sparks joy-- sorry to use that phrase for me-- is feeling like I can deliver a ceremony that genuinely represents who the couple are. And I genuinely have a connection with them. They're people that I could have a drink with or have a great chat with, whether we're talking about planning their wedding or not. So finding a genuine connection with a couple well before the wedding day is something I would like to become very good at, I think. I'm sure celebrants probably say that. But in terms of my differentiator, you might need to give me some time for that one, Josh. Well, you can have all of them in the world. Luckily, myself and no one else was pushing you into the marketplace. But yeah, it's good to start thinking about that. And as you've already identified, wedding after wedding after wedding, that'll become much more clear. I like you're going to have times when you-- I don't wish this upon you. It's just a simple fact of being human on the planet. But you're probably going to screw something up, so-- Oh, I'm sure I already have plenty of time. Yeah. But those things are such a beautiful opportunity. When you get that feedback from the couple, like, hey, you're screwed up. And at that time, it's such a good opportunity to be humble and kind, but also go like, oh, wow, this is a really good learning moment for me to do X, Y, and Z better, or don't do A, B, and C, or whatever it might be. Yeah, I think it is. I'm so-- yeah, absolutely. And I think I'm really open to-- I think the nature of the course as well made me open to feedback and seeing that as invaluable little nuggets that I should be getting-- taking from each couple and each experience to learn and grow, hopefully. That's the plan anyway. I know you're fresh into celebrancy. Your email is still drying. I think-- does that analogy work? Yes. I think it does. I wanted to seek your final feedback as part of this interview to just-- there's so many different places that offer the cert for celebrancy. And there's different ways of doing it. As someone who's graduated, done it, what's your feedback on the Celebrant Institute RTO and studying online? I would say I feel-- I found it a challenging experience, probably only because I was in lockdown and I was doing it online, self-paced and in isolation. And I think I'm somebody who works generally, tends to get energy from working more in a team and with people. But I couldn't change the nature of not being able to go and meet up with people at the time. And I'm grateful that I still could pursue the certificate for in that time. I think coming out-- so I had plenty of moments where I felt like it was far more work than I bargained for. And I know that's not necessarily the Celebrant Institute. That's the requirements of the Attorney General's office. And I wanted to-- and I probably would have thrown in the towel plenty of times if it wasn't for my friends and family who I'd already roped in had been on the journey with me because I talked about it all the time, encouraging me to continue. But now I'm on the other side of it, and hindsight's a great thing. I do feel-- I came out feeling really, really prepared. Like I found that even when couples were-- not couples, there's only been one-- asking me questions, like I was-- and I was sort of sitting across them and expected to answer with some authority. Even though I'd never, ever done it in real life before, I felt like I had enough experience from studying, that I could come up with an answer. And I didn't feel-- and I'd done it so many times through all those practical assessments that I surprised myself by how well prepared I felt when I stood up there in front of my first-- for my first wedding. So despite it, it was challenging. And I found sometimes some of the feedback I got challenged me and it was pedantic. But you almost can see now on the other side of it why it was like that, and I'm grateful. I'm really grateful for the support of the trainers and, in particular, Tanya, who always took the time to explain things to me as we went along and cheered me on. It was a really, really good learning experience. Now I'm on the other side of it. I'm just not someone who's ever really-- I made uni much harder for myself than I needed to. But I'm really glad I'm on the other side of it. And I definitely feel-- and I definitely felt prepared when I stood up there in front of my first wedding. So I guess I can't ask for anything more than that. Well, I'm so glad that you got through the process. I know one of our stresses with the Cert 4, just with any kind of adult education, Cert 3, 4-- it's not Cert 5, but onwards, is a lot of people-- a lot of people start and don't finish. And so we've gone to great lengths to make sure people finish. And sometimes that means saying no early on. Well, it's not necessarily no, but just really say, hey, this isn't easy. And so if you're not committed, then don't start. We would rather you not do it and not pay, then start, pay, and not finish it. So congratulations on finishing. Congratulations on becoming a celebrant. And best of luck on your journey. Thank you so much, Josh. I really, really appreciate it. Lovely to talk to you. We'd see you talking to your voice. You're so familiar to me. And now I'm actually speaking to you. It's weird. But anyway, thank you so much, Josh. I really appreciate it. And lovely to talk to you.
### From Dietitian to 'I Do's, a new celebrant's story
In this episode of the Celebrant Talk Show, Josh Withers interviews Amy McNeilly, a recent graduate from the Celebrant Institute. Amy, who works as a clinical dietician, pursued celebrancy to engage more with people, inspired by a celebrant she admired.
The training was challenging, especially during the pandemic, taking two years to complete. She emphasises the role's complexity and the importance of personalising ceremonies.
Her initial celebrant work began with friends' weddings, and she plans to develop a more structured marketing strategy.
Or listen on the website
Transcription: G'day, welcome to another episode of the Celebrant Talk Show. My name is Josh Withers, I'm your host for today's episode. And this podcast is produced by the Celebrant Institute, our website, celebrant.institute. We're a membership program for celebrants to help you guys be the best you can be. Plus, we've got the Celebrant Institute RTO, where we train up new and aspiring celebrants with the qualification required to become a celebrant in Australia. And today you're hearing another one of the series of our recent graduates talking to them about what it was like to do the course and of course become a celebrant. So please be inspired by today's episode and hopefully you can take something away to make your celebrancy practice the best in the world. To find other episodes of the podcast, go to celebrant.fm and of course, for the full website membership, about the information about the search for a celebrancy, you can go to celebrant.institute.
My name's Amy. I am from Melbourne, Victoria, and I first became a celebrant. I got qualified in July of 2021. - Why on earth did you become a celebrant? There's a million jobs out there. You could have been a surgeon, a vet. Why did you become a celebrant? - Absolutely. Well, that's a great question, Josh. Absolutely. I actually already have another career. So by weekday, generally I'm a clinical dietician, one of the major hospitals in Melbourne, but I've done that career for over a decade. And as happens, when you're sent to become more senior in a career, you get to do less of the fun stuff and more of the boring stuff. So when I was a baby dietician, I used to do awesome things like run groups and take people to supermarkets and really get to know my clients or consumers or however we wanna put the people who use our services. But the more senior I became, the less I did that. And so I'm someone also who really loves people. So in terms of, I really like to know their story to the point that I have to stop myself from really delving into a really deep conversation with people on the first meeting or two. And so I was thinking about what puts my skills of loving people, getting to know their stories, but also having a bit more fun in a job. And it had been something I'd thrown around years prior to that, as lots of people do around the time they get married, but thought, no, no, no, no, celebrancy, not the one. But at that point in time, it really felt like the right thing to do. So I signed up in, I think it was the March of 2019 and started there, Cert 4 in May 2019. And so that actually took me quite a while to finish, as I'm sure you can imagine, it's supposed to go for about a year, but my year melded into the first year of the pandemic. And so lots of things got pushed back. So it took about two years to complete, but it definitely feels the brief of why I became a celebrant. - Things got pushed back during the pandemic.
I desperately wanna know more about this. Please. (laughs) - Yeah, absolutely. So the Cert 4 that I did, as I'm sure with any organization, it involves some theory, some face-to-face learning, some online self-paced learning, but also the major assessments being the performances. So you're given a scenario of a certain couple and something happening, and you need to write their script and go through the process you would go through as a celebrant, but you have to film these. And so obviously we weren't allowed at a point in time to actually see anyone apart from the people in our house. And as we know, there needs to be at least five people present to make a marriage legal. So the celebrant, the couple, and their two witnesses. So a lot of my assessments, I wasn't able to do at certain points in the pandemic, because I wasn't actually allowed to have people in my physical space. When we were allowed to have at least five people together, I did lots and lots of these during my catch-ups with my friends. I'm sure that's not what they wanted to do in their first moments of freedom. And then the real sticking point for me was we had to do a ceremony in front of about 20 to 30 people. And so that one took quite a long time to build up to being allowed to have enough people available to finish that assessment. So that's what pushed me back, Josh.
It's been an interesting couple of years, hasn't it? - Absolutely. - 'Cause I do wanna talk about starting as a celebrant at that time, but I just wanna backtrack a little bit to that point where you decided you wanted to become a celebrant. And two quick questions around that. It's not the first career choice for everyone. In Australia, there's about 10,000 celebrants. It's not a popular career. It's not something that kind of everyone, like, yeah, little kids aren't growing up wanting to become a celebrant. So had you seen someone, had someone inspired you, had you gone to a wedding and thought they were great, or gone to a wedding and thought they were terrible? And then secondly, like, you make the decision to become a celebrant. Like, what did you do? You call 1-800-SELIPANT? Like, what did you kind of, what action did you take to figure out how to do that? - I was inspired by someone, actually, someone who was fantastic. So I think it would have been almost 15 years ago, I went to a wedding where Julia, I believe her surname is Dohavon, Julia's celebrancy services was the celebrant. - Yeah, that's Julia, she's amazing. - She is incredible. So went to a friend's wedding. It was one of the first weddings I'd been to by a civil celebrant. Previous to that, I'd been to religious weddings. And I just thought she brought the vibe. And I was absolutely inspired by her, so much so that about seven years later, we decided to have her for our own wedding, my husband and I. And she still stuck out to me as someone who was really, I guess, bringing a really good energy and kind of was one of the reasons that I felt like I could bring that positive energy of getting to know people and doing the fun part of the things that I was missing in my clinical career. - Can I just say, big call to think that you could be like happier and more joyful than Julia, but you know, whatever. - It is a big call, absolutely. I feel like I haven't reached that, but I am quite a bubbly kind of girl, but she's definitely next level. You know, something to aspire to for my whole career, I'm sure. So I, as everyone does, did a little bit of Googling to see what you had to do. Found out there was a certificate for in celebrancy and then did some inquiring around about which course I wanted to do, which organisation. I guess for me, I was acknowledging that I wanted to do most of it self-paced. I'm really someone who's very self-motivated and organised. I didn't want to have to go to an organisation every Saturday and take up all of that time. I wanted to be able to kind of do it in my own time in the evenings or bits here and there, even in the mornings. But I wanted to have a bit of an intensive to dump me in to really get the flow of it at first. So I came across, I think at the time in 2019, it would have been through talented training. So, which I believe now is Celebrant Institute RTO. - That's it, yeah. - Perfect. So yeah, I did it through Sarah Ed being the trainer and I loved Sarah and her vibe. And so we did a five day intensive with her and then did self-paced for the rest of the time. And so I guess, yeah, apart from Googling and having a bit of a squeeze, I did a bit of comparison about what was gonna work for me, the timeframes and then just saw my life away and got on with it. - The course itself is much harder than most people think. But how did the course match or exceed or not match or not meet your expectations as far as becoming a celebrant? Because, and just the angle you're not going on is that a lot of people think you've just got to go online and buy the license like Joey on Friends. And it's obviously a million times different than Joey from Friends' experience. So like, how did the course and the application process differ in your expectations? - Yeah, that's a great question. Absolutely, so much more involved than anticipated by lots of people and people are still shocked whenever I tell them. Or even, I think the same, I'm sure everyone who is a celebrant gets this, but like, oh, surely you don't really have to do any work to be able to deliver the ceremony, right? Whether that's a very different vibe to if we're gonna provide quality ceremonies, there's a lot of work that goes into it. So I guess when I started, I believe Sarah said it should take us about 600 hours to complete the cert four. And so that gave me a really good indication of the amount of time I should be dedicating a side. I definitely don't think it took me anywhere near that long, but it did take me a good chunk of time. Essentially I completed it over the two years. I would say I was pretty committed to it in terms of doing a good chunk every week. So a couple of hours each week over that two year period. So really, it took a lot of commitment. And I wouldn't say, I would say to people, it's very worth it, but you have to be very, very committed to actually getting to the end goal and wanting to do it. I think if you're just doing it, a lot of people ask me, oh, you know, my friend, my friend's getting married and they want me to be the celebrant. And that's in my opinion, not the right reason to do it if you don't wanna be doing other weddings. We can all, as celebrants, we can help other people do weddings and do the legal part. But for me, it's the real commitment to getting to the end goal. I found some of the assessments, to be honest, quite cumbersome. That felt quite repetitive at times, but that really drilled into me the importance of getting the details right. So while at the time it was frustrating, now that I am a celebrant, all of those things come back to me pretty quickly, or even the things that I had to resubmit. If I had missed a detail, I'd never miss them now. And I haven't had to resubmit any of my marriage paperwork since I've done any weddings. So I think it set me up very well, despite being a tiny bit frustrating at times. - Yeah, it's a little bit like learning algebra or whatnot in high school. At the time, you're like, this is so stupid. (laughs) But obviously a lot of the learning does play out in your training as a celebrant, sorry, in your career as a celebrant. On that, I find a lot of people surprised at just marriage law, marriage act stuff. Like, oh, I didn't know the cousins could get married, or whatever it might be, in becoming a celebrant. What was your big thing? Your weird thing? Oh my gosh, you kind of came home and told your significant other that whatever, this is so weird. - I can't think of anything off the top of my head that I felt was so weird, but I think really realizing- - You were cool with the cousins bit? - I mean, look, you already said it, so I didn't wanna repeat it. But I think the thing that really surprised me is just how little of a ceremony is actually the legal wording. You know, that you could literally get the ceremony done in less than five minutes, and that people still go to the registry office rather than getting someone else to do it somewhere that they really wanna get married rather than the registry office, 'cause you could do a registry style wedding quite quickly. - Yeah, absolutely. It's a, I always find that represented when I have meetings with couples and they say, "Oh, do we have to do the, where one of us submits to the other?" I'm like, "Oh, no, dude, like, none of that's in the law. That's just, that's another thing." It's funny, it's all those hangovers that people have. - Yeah, yeah, and I think, yeah, just all the things we expect to go along with weddings that we absolutely don't have to do at all. I think that was the most surprising thing for me. - Okay, look, that's such a good journey, but all of that is a little bit like when you're flying to a destination and we do a whole flight report on which aircraft you went on and how the flight events were, which is all really cool. But the whole reason you did this was to become a celebrant. Tell me about your kind of, you go-to-market strategy. Like, you get that letter from the AGD, you're all good, you're rigid edge, let's send you off to market. What does that look like for you? Because every celebrant's kind of go-to-market strategy is different and particularly yours. I think you mentioned you were still employed like the celebrant-y, at least currently isn't your full-time gig. Do you have a plan for it to be full-time gig? Like, what does that look like for you? - Yeah, absolutely. So I had an original plan of go-to-market, but as discussed, we were still in the middle of the pandemic, even when I got my license. So that was in, I finished the course in April, 2021. I got my license in July, 2021. And because again, I work in a hospital, my full-time role was actually much bigger than normal, working a lot more hours. And those hours I'd planned on dedicating to celebrancy, things went to the, by the wayside. And so what ended up happening is I just ended up marrying friends. And then I'd planned in 2022 to get back on board and build out my website and my socials and kind of pitch to a bit of an audience and hone that a little bit. And then I fell pregnant. So again, I did weddings for friends and friends are friends. And I really, most of mine have just been these organic from a friend or a friend of a friend referrals. So my daughter was born in August last year. And then I did my first wedding postpartum at six weeks postpartum. And so that was a bit crazy. I don't know really how I managed to keep my eyes open at that point, but essentially she's starting childcare in two weeks time. And so I'm gonna sit down and finally actually make my website and a bit more of a structured strategy. - And so, I know you're still working on it, but what's that kind of seed in your mind? Like what kind of ceremony do you wanna provide? What kind of product do you wanna provide? What kind of couple do you hope to attract? Yeah, like give us a little bit of insight into that as we wrap up the podcast today. - Yeah, absolutely. I think it's something I need to do a fair bit more work on Josh, but I think really people who were just looking for someone's son, bubbly, and wanting to have a bit of a good time, but also go a little bit in depth into their story. I've certainly had people who inquire with me who just don't really want a bubbly person and I'm not the girl for you. I am who I am, but also I really like going in deep and getting to the crux of what makes this couple different from everyone else. And so I need to define how to find those people a little bit more, but that's what I'm looking for. - Well, I wish you all the best about it. Certainly a profitable and exciting place to kind of start walking towards because as much as just being a celebrant is really good and it is, it's a great gig. And if all you did in your celebratory career was just, I don't know, whatever you could define as bad weddings, it's still a really good day. It's like that sticky Santa Becca cars. A bad day at golf is still better than a good day at work. It's a little bit like whatever you could decide to find as a bad wedding, it's still really, really bloody good. But then when you start figuring out who vibes with you, who you are, 'cause that's obviously part of the process is you seem a little bit more self-aware than the average bear, but many of us are still figuring out who we are and what kind of service we do provide. And so when you start kind of locking in all those puzzle pieces, that's where the real joy is because you start doing work for people who really value you and they like what you do and bing, bing, bing, you have enough of the big win. - Absolutely, yeah, that's the sweet spot. - I mean, well, hey, thank you for spending some time with me on the podcast today. Thanks for sharing your story. Congratulations on not just doing your search for, but also becoming a point of the celebrant. I'm really passionate about encouraging new celebrants because, well, you know what? Everyone was a new celebrant one time and I hope you haven't experienced any of this, but when I became a celebrant, there was a lot of pushback and negativity from the celebrant community. And that's almost like there was enough, if off we're home, if off we're full kind of vibe. And like we're never full because there's people who are meant for you to marry because you provide something unique and special and there's something you can do that I, not only can't do, I won't do, but it's just not supposed to be for me. And so, congratulations, I wish you the best and thanks for sharing your story today. - Thanks so much, Josh.
### MLCS & celebrant associations/networks meeting 6 December 2023
As of June 12 2024 remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms is now law and you can visit this page for an update.
Josh and I spent Wednesday in Canberra at the biannual meeting between the Marriage Law & Celebrants Section (MLCS) of the Attorney-General's Department and repesentatives of the celebrant associations and networks. I'm delighted to report it was actually productive!
Honestly, the current MLCS team are a dream to work with. They are interested and engaged, they listen, they seem to genuinely want to help make things better, and they actually follow up when they say they're going to do something! For years I shied away from joining this group, having read all the available minutes of meetings and seeing they really just talked about the same things every meeting and nothing ever got done. Those days seem to be long gone, and it's extremely refreshing.
This week's meeting involved a wide range of conversation topics, and there was enough space and time for us to examine many of them deeply. Here's an overview of what we talked about.
Miscellaneous Measures Bill
There was some info on the Miscellaneous Measures Bill that I've previously reported on, noting that it's now been referred to a Senate Committee that is due to report on 1 February 2024. The Celebrant Institute has been invited to make a submission to this inquiry, which we will do in the next few weeks, but an inquiry like this means passing of the Bill is likely to be slower than anticipated; there may be amendments that come out of the inquiry, and getting those written and consulted on takes time. So after 31 December 2023 we won't be remote witnessing signatures on NOIMs again for a few months.
Commonwealth statutory declarations
There are some changes to the Commonwealth statutory declaration form and signing process that will come into effect on 1 January 2024: there have been some slight changes to the form, and there will now be three ways to sign a Comm stat dec (paper, electronic, and digital), and communication about these changes will be coming from MLCS (and on the webpage linked above) in the new year. This impacts us mostly for stat decs re date and place of birth where getting a birth certificate is impracticable, and the stat dec signed before a ceremony by interpreters. This is not a massive change but it needs a bit more work from MLCS (particularly re the interpreter documentation) so watch this space for more info to come.
Happily ever before ... and after
MLCS has drafted a great new version of the HEBA document, based on some work The Celebrant Society had done. It's simplifying and neutralising the language, and it also includes some new information that I requested stating that once the couple has said their legal vows, they're married, and that the celebrant is legally obligated to submit their documents to BDM for registration. This is on the back of many instances this year (including one of my own) where a celebrant has been asked not to submit documents to BDM because the couple has broken up or whatever. Even if they don't read it when we give it to them, it will great to have something to show the couple to say look, you're already married, and I have to send the documents in.
Guidelines review
The Guidelines review is essentially finished, but MLCS has decided to sit on it until the Miscellaneous Measures Bill passes (or doesn't); there's not much point putting a document out for consultation now if it's only going to have to be updated in a few months. Once it has been updated when the Bill passes (or doesn't), it will go to the associations/networks again for review, and out for public consultation. We asked how public that consultation will be; will it literally be available to absolutely anyone? I can only see that leading to disaster where people who have no understanding of the Marriage Act or the role of the celebrant are given the chance to comment on the document. MLCS is looking into how targeted they can make it, but it's hopeful that the consultation will only be sent to stakeholders such as celebrants, BDMs, and maybe family lawyers.
Ongoing Professional Development
As at 4 December, more than 3000 celebrants haven't done their OPD. MLCS acknowledges the issues with the portal, but because of that they've made paper tasks available. Apparently anyone who hadn't completed OPD was sent an email on 20 October with links to download the activities that they could complete and send back to MLCS. They're about to start sending those emails again once a week for the rest of the year. If you haven't done your OPD, get it done ASAP! You don't want to get stuck doing double OPD next year or even getting suspended for a few months!
They're hoping to have OPD available earlier in 2024 than it was this year.
They acknowledged that many celebrants are asking for face to face OPD to return; they're working with the legislated framework they inherited (1-2 hours a year delivered online by MLCS free of charge) and will need time to change the legislation to return to the old system if they decide to go down that path. There are no immediate plans to do so, but if this is something you feel passionate about, feel free to email MLCS.
Updating the Marriage Act
I presented the paper I have written about updating the Marriage Act to the other associations/networks. My hope is that we can get to a point where we agree on the contents so that we can all co-sign a document to send to the Attorney-General - strength in numbers! Once the associations/networks have agreed on it, we'll also upload it to the website we created for this earlier in the year so all celebrants have the opportunity to send it to their local Federal MPs. I'm not sharing it more widely yet because I want to get the feedback from the other associations/networks first, and I think it's important that this is a united, concerted effort at the same time rather than bits of it being sent to various places in dribs and drabs :)
Mark from the Alliance of Celebrants Queensland reported on his project to have the prohibited relationships definition broadened to take into account more genetics between relations: right now you can't marry an ascendant, descendant or sibling, because you might end up with babies with birth defects from genetically similar people procreating together. However, you can marry an aunt, uncle, or cousin, which means a person could feasibly marry their parent's identical twin, who for all intents and purposes is genetically identical to their parent. Cousins whose parents are identical twins are also as close genetically as half-siblings. This is certainly something I'd never thought about, and now I can't get it out of my mind! We've added his work to my paper about updates to the Act.
Out of hours shortenings of time
This has been an issue discussed at these meetings as long as they've been happening: at the moment it is next to impossible to access a prescribed authority about a shortening of time application out of hours, especially on weekends and public holidays. This is really only relevant for medical reasons shortenings. I've heard of at least 10 situations in the last two years (including one I dealt with myself) where a party to a marriage or a close family member's health deteriorated quickly over a weekend, but no prescribed authority was available to authorise a shortening of time, and they died before a marriage could take place. My situation happened on Grand Final weekend in Melbourne; the groom's father was expected to last another week or so when I met the couple on the Thursday. I submitted the shortening application that afternoon, but the next day was the Grand Final Friday public holiday. The father went downhill far quicker than expected, and by the time BDM even opened the email on the Monday morning, he was dead.
Every Registrar before now has said this isn't their issue, that only BDMs and state courts (where prescribed authorities are based) can make changes to their rosters to enable prescribed authorities to be available out of hours. For the first time, our current Registrar said she was interested, she didn't know if she'd be able to do anything to help, but she was prepared to look into it, see if she could figure out the scope of the issue, and examine whether there was anything at all the could do.
THIS IS MASSIVE PROGRESS!!!
We all agreed to collect stories from our members about instances of a medical shortening really being needed and not being available out of hours. If you've got such a story, please email it to us at hello@celebrant.institute.
And that was it! It was a full and productive meeting, and I'm feeling pretty hopeful about the future :) Let me know if you have any questions!
### Meet a Certificate IV in Celebrancy graduate, Lachie Grisold
In this exciting episode of the Celebrant Institute's Celebrant Talk Show podcast, join your host, Josh Withers, as he continues his series of insightful interviews with recent graduates and new celebrants. This episode features a conversation with Lachlan "Lachie" Grisold, the dynamic Melbourne-based marriage celebrant behind "Weddings by the Beard." Lachie shares his fresh perspectives on the celebrancy world, discussing his journey from completing his Certificate IV in Celebrancy to creating unique and memorable wedding experiences. Tune in for an episode full of inspiration, practical advice, and Lachie's unique approach to celebrating love.
Transcript: Welcome to another episode of the Celebrant Talk Show. My name is Josh Withers, I'm your host today. And we've got a special episode. Earlier this year, I sat down with a few new Certificate 4 in Celebrancy graduates that have become celebrants recently, and I want to share their story with you. If you're thinking about becoming a celebrant, if you're a new celebrant, hopefully their path will encourage you and show you a path that might make a way forward for you. And if you've been a celebrant for some time, hopefully just mixing with new blood might be an encouragement for you as you continue on your journey of being an awesome celebrant. I hope you enjoy this episode.
My name is Lachie. I have been a celebrant for a year under the brand name, Weddings by the Beard. It grew itself out and it's here to stay, apparently. I do most of my work out of Melbourne, but have been tempted to go interstate a few times, and we'll see how much more often that happens. It's pretty always exciting to do. - Yeah, it's a pretty good gig the old doing weddings around the world, hey. - Oh, around the world is the next step. That is, that would be tremendous, of course. - Well, they keep on trying, you get me. I'm in Hawaii at the moment and off to Paris on Friday. So, you know, I hope it's well- - So it can be done. It can be done. - Tremendous. - Tell us, mate, why on earth are you a celebrant? What happened? What happened to you, childhood, that you thought you should go and speak in front of crowds for a living? - What went wrong? (both laughing) Well, that's it. I'm one of those real weirdos, has a screw loose, and really enjoys public speaking, would you believe? - I know it, that's me. (both laughing) - Yeah, we're in good company. So, a life on stage, musical theater, drama degree, couple of years, traveling around Europe being a tour guide. And then I got home and it was just when the virus that shall not be named landed. And I went, what can I do that I will find fulfilling and will put my hard earned skills to work? And it just happened, I went to a friend's wedding, Damon Hughes, huge shout out, absolute legend. And Damon was up there having a great time. And I went, ah, that and ran at it. - It's always interesting. Most celebrants have got one of two stories. One is that they saw a wedding and it was really bad. And they thought, oh, I could do that better. Or the other one is you see someone like Damon, who's a legend, and you see that and think, oh, that guy does a really good job. I reckon I could do a really good job too, which is cool. - And it's probably only binary. There would be no in between. - No one sees just like an average Sarah celebrant and goes, oh yeah, that could be a job. Something like that, maybe. Yeah, that's a job that people do. - And you did the Cert 4. I'm gonna stage a guess that a personality like yours is a little bit like mine, where academic study like a Cert 4 seems like a really cool idea until you get the first module open. - Yeah, yeah. And you're sitting there going, ah, yes. They say it takes a year for a reason, right? - Yeah, yeah, not for me. Well, not for a smart guy like me. It's probably. - Oh, no, yeah, no, easily. I know that all the time in the world to manage that as well. - Yeah, yeah. So how did you find the Cert 4? - Look, it was monstrous. I was given all the warnings in the world. And as you said, we just blithely ignore it, saying this will take time, make sure you've got energy. And I went, oh yeah, yeah, I can do that in spare time and what have you. COVID made it pretty hard. There's a number of assignments in there that, you know, you got to sit down with five or 30 friends. And when it's hard enough to get two people in a room at that period of time, it really dragged out. I think the course itself, when I took it really seriously, prepared me really well. There were large aspects of it that weren't directly related to weddings that I found maybe difficult to keep up the motivation with. Anything wedding related, really motivated, saw the immediate payback with it. But when it seems like practice filling in for someone's 80th birthday or whatever, I thought, am I enjoying this? Or is this just a real box tick? So that was a difficult part of it. - Yeah, I understand that. You know, what's funny is as the certificate for is prepared, there's just things you get a tick off from like a, I'm not to get too deep down in the nerdery, but there's government frameworks and for someone to get a search for in celebration, they got to have tick, tick, tick, they got to have all these ticks. And so in designing the search for like, how can we do this and not make it terrible? - Yeah, that would be a task for sure. Hopefully we've done the best job we can. - Look, I reckon you have as far as the best job you can do. 'Cause there was a number of things in there. And you look at the whole, I don't know if it's called a syllabus, but I'm gonna call it a syllabus. When you have to just hit a pass on 100, it felt like heaps of markers across over a dozen assignments. I went, yeah, they really need to tick every box. So you'll walk away going, I can do this. Because the last thing you want to do, especially when you study something like along the lines of being a celebrant and then going into the world and just like, hey, start your own business, go. There's a whole bunch you need to be prepared or at least aware of. So by the end, there were moments that I was bashing my head against the wall thinking either this is tedious or am I gonna use it? But I tell you, I reckon I've used most of it. So huge props to you. (laughs) - Yeah, I've got to be honest, zero props to me, 100 props to Sarah. I'm just the guy that turns the light in the fridge off and on. - Absolutely, and Sarah is a legend of the game and having her number on speed dial is very handy and reaching out and having a chat when things, when you have questions and that sort of stuff or having all the materials that have been put together as well. - It's funny you mentioned that. We've obviously got the celebrant. There's the Celebrant Institute RTO, which is what you've studied through. And then there's the Celebrant Institute membership, which is kind of post study for your practice as a celebrant. And the premise of it literally is just basically to have Sarah on speed dial. And I'm just grateful to have her on speed dial as a friend and a learner as a business planner. (laughs) She's an asset. - In a huge way. And, but like, you know, I think that whole website I found such use out of in terms of seeing the camaraderie and having blog posts on like, hey, let's talk PA systems, or let's talk charging people money and like having a pre, like having a dialogue from a year ago or two years ago, or five days ago to go through and go, hey, I'm not alone in this. People are thinking the same way I'm thinking, have the same concerns that I have and have, if I can, you know, blow a bit of wind up your trousers skirt there, saying you are legends of the game, having answers for these questions that we have. - I'll humbly accept that, thank you. (laughs) - I feel the bell, yeah. (laughs) - Look, you mentioned money. That's, I love talking to people about money, just on a general sense, just between friends because I feel it's the big, it's the big no-no, like we can talk about religion and politics these days, but for the love of God, don't talk about money. - Don't ask how much someone owns, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. And I'm not gonna ask you how much you own, but there's this aspect of celebrancy that you do the search for, you do the application, you get the letter in the mail saying you're all G, and there's a moment where you've gotta take it to market. Roll out your, kind of your go-to market, call it a plan, or even just your thoughts on how they've evolved since you saw Damon to now. (laughs) - Yeah, right? - Yeah, like how has it evolved about taking yourself to market, getting that booking, charging a buck, that kind of thing. - That's it, what a journey it's been in terms of my first ceremony I did was on the 22nd of May last year. So we're basically coming up on this year in review, being that I think I got the email saying, all right, go for it in late April. I had this ceremony, friend of mine, I found out I was doing the studies and went, you're gonna be free on this date. And I said, yeah, probably. Let's see how much of this assignments I can get through. And by the time I sent off the cert for, it's gotta go off to the Attorney General's office and stuff, we were pulling it real fine. Of course, it's the Noim, the month in advance, and we had to have backup plans 'cause I was either getting this email and we could run off and sign the Noim and get started, or we had to get someone else to sign it and transfer it over to my name in the three week period before their ceremony. So that was pretty stressful, but a real fun sort of jumping off point to get certified, get a wedding under your belt, and then go, okay, I can do this in a legal and ceremonial sense. 'Cause I think the first one is really important. And it's hopefully for everyone out there, doing the studies, have a friend or colleague or someone kind of lined up because I wouldn't know what to do. The first one, friend. Second one, friend of a friend. Third one, a mate's cousin. It was about my fourth or fifth wedding that I did that was someone found me organically, and they were the most wonderful and organized person. They found me off the Attorney General's registry of all celebrants in Australia. 100%. I went, what is, I've never, amazing. - You were just clicking through all 10,000 celebrants. - Right, and somehow landed on this bloke. - Yeah. - And they land on my rudimentary website that I just slapped together off GoDaddy. Yes, that was it. So that was kind of the thing. The benefit of doing the studies was it did, it is kind of well sorted out being like, cool, do legals, think about planning ceremonies, think about formal words and all that stuff. And then it goes, all right, now start thinking about businesses, have you got an ABN? Have you got a website? So you kind of get a lot of that going. Of course, you're gonna advertise as a practicing celebrant until you are, but a lot of it is like a real watch this space type thing. So the second that my website went up, they were right on it. And so then I went, okay, now how do I get people to find me? And that was a hit and miss or just kind of a real shotgun shot in the dark type thing. I started just putting money into places, trying to get it out there. And if I got immediate responses back, which largely I did, I kept it going. If I didn't for like two or three months, I scrapped it. Basically, for the large part, if I put money into it, I saw money come out of it, which was really positive. So every dollar I put into Google ads, someone said, Hey, I just saw you out on Google. Every dollar I saw of going into Instagram and Facebook ads, someone, you'd get X followers and then a DM. I've joined a few celebrant registries, god me, the name escapes me now for like websites and stuff. Directories. They're the ones, yeah. And I've seen some work come out of that or the very least enough work that I go, cool, I've got money out of putting my name on these websites. You can't go all over them 'cause there's probably a certain Venn diagram ism to it where someone's gonna see your face in a number of places, but combination of being a bit reserved, but also sort of going out there, you know? And here we are with the year ahead is looking big for me. So this year just been has been, oh goodness, I probably should have got my number down, but I've done a fistful, a dozen, or maybe a little over that sort of weddings. And the next 12 months, you know, we've got about 30 coming up, which is really exciting. So to see that sort of growth there, and I don't know what the 12 months after that's gonna look like, but you put the effort in and you go up and up and up from there, hopefully. - Money is a good lead in and share as much or as little as you want, I'm not really, I'm not here to getcha. But the money side of it, as much as money is a marketing story, it's also a product story. You know, there's a, we were in Baja, California, so Carbo San Lucas a few weeks ago, and there's a hotel there that has a $500 US, $500 US taco, and I did not buy it, just to clear everything up. And just 'cause I couldn't imagine, like as much as the $500 taco, very much as a marketing story, in the end, I'm gonna drop down 500 or close to 700 Australian. And I'm just putting a bloody taco in my mouth. So money, yeah, yeah, okay, I don't know what kind of meal I could spend $500 on, I just, I'd probably be pretty hard to pony a $500 for a meal for myself. - Yeah, oh yeah. - Yeah, talking about money and leading to the product side of things. 'Cause the marketing story is important, and that narrative is really important. But for you, the obvious answer is, you're selling yourself as a celebrant, but how does your product differentiate from others in a broad sense? - Yeah, well-- - And obviously the money comes into that as well. - Of course, yeah, so when you start off, you're just a very green celebrant that has to market themselves as, basically, I had to go in with, "Cheap, give me work please." I'll say, "Yes, say do you wear anything you need me to do "to do your wedding?" And from there, that energy kind of rolled over into the idea behind, like writing ceremonies that people want, rather than the ceremony that everyone thinks of when they think of wedding, this non-traditionalism route that I think a lot of people sort of wanting more of these days. For every to-have-and-to-hold-for-death-do-you-part, there's a stand-up comic quasi-routine coming out there. And as much as I'm not that far onto the bombastic side of things, a little bit of sitting down and talking with couples and individuals and say, "Well, what do you want? "What actually do you want to get out of this?" As a celebrant, we have a surprising amount of insight in terms of knowing what has to legally go into a wedding. And apart from that, "Well, what do you want out of this half-hour, 40-minute, "whole evening that people are planning and building?" So when I started, it was very much commercially competitive. Hire me just because you've got to hire someone. And a lot of that had quite quick turnarounds. People going, "Hey, we want to get married in three months, "four months, two months, "and we just look at for a celebrant." And I was free, a lot of celebrants get booked out, right? And I was also cost-effective. But from there, as I developed that, developed my processes, got way better at writing ceremonies and having insight into what makes a good ceremony and the little things that you build, playlists for song recommendations and all the things that are out there. But if you make them your own, then it's an addition to the product that you can give to them. How to write vow packs, there's dozens of websites out there. But if you have your own, you can then give that to them and say, "This is also something you don't have to go looking. "You've got it all there as an attachment or an email "that I can send you." As that's grown, as I've really pushed the narrative of not copy and pasting anything, I suppose, as much as a lot of things are commonly used, we all, not all, but most ceremonies have an asking moment, the I do moment, they have a ring ceremony at some point, usually. So there's only so many, what's the sentence, 'cause I was my skinner cat or something like that. Yeah, there's only so many ways you can say, a ring is a circle and that means I love you, I suppose. But you play around with it and you say, the customizability, I suppose, is one thing that I can play with. 'Cause at the moment, I've got time to sit there and pour hours into a ceremony. We'll see how that goes in the next 12, 24 X years down the track, maybe I'll continue to get better at it and have a bank of styles and things to use. So yeah, as that's grown, as I've become more confident and delivering a better product, my price has reflected that. So it started a hyper competitive foot in the door, that was noteworthy to, well, hang on, if I'm gonna put a number of hours into this, if I'm gonna take Fridays and Saturdays of my time and social thing, you start to have that confidence and go, no, I wanna be fairly enumerated. And then you wanna be, you wanna step in and you actually have a dollar value, sort of represent you and what you think you're worth. As much as a $500 taco is gonna be a very particular person buying it. But there's that sort of middle ground where you go, if there was, I don't know what the dollar amount is, but if there was an expensive taco out there, sometimes you look at it and go, hey, that might be a really good taco. It's within the natural, the economic value of a taco. But you go, how good can a taco be for 20 bucks, 40 bucks? Where do you sit? What taco are you providing these people? We're right into the metaphor now. I'm ankle deep, I'm waiting through it. - As someone who's lived in Mexico for the last six months, I'm here for the taco metaphor. (laughing) - Yeah. But that's it, it's the same. I would often talk to people about it, talking about like whiskey or wine has like a similar thing there being like, you've got whiskey that is strictly like whiskey and Coke whiskey. You've gotta, I'll just alter it, you're gonna change it. It's gonna be what you know, and there's no expectation there. And then as you sort of move through different types of whiskeys, there's a certain point where you need to have a really discerning palate or whatever, if you wanna like, you know, wave your hands around while you do it. And then there's this upper end whiskey that I think anyone would look at and go, you're not buying that for whiskey. You're buying that to sit on a shelf. And I don't know where that takes the metaphor, but (laughing) that's a valuable way to finish that sentence, yeah. - As someone who appreciates a whiskey, I can tell you that there's no easy way to finish this sentence about whiskey, you should just keep on going. (laughing) But I will wrap up the podcast on this note. I am, there's people listening to this that have been a celebrant for 20 years, and I hope that they're revitalized by your energy. But if you could wrap up with the encouragement to the person who's thinking about becoming a celebrant, because I'll give mine that I would tell anyone, anyone that asks me about whether they should become a celebrant or not. My first thought is actually to do what Robin Williams did. Robin Williams famously, when people would ask whether they should become a comedian, he would say no. And his bit was that if Robin Williams saying no is the thing that stops you becoming a comedian, you were never gonna make it in the first place. - Heck yeah. - Yeah, which I love. - That's got such a great, yeah, absolutely. - But I don't do that 'cause apparently that can sound like you're an asshole. (laughing) So my actual encouragement is a little bit more encouraging that there's enough average celebrants. There's enough cheap celebrants, there's enough, people that just don't really care or aren't passionate. And I'm not really calling anyone, I'm just saying there's enough of those people. That market is looked after. The market that isn't a full year, the market that is still aching for more talent is that upper end of the market of people that really care, that are really passionate and is desperately in need of great celebrants. So that's what it says to you or anyone else. That's the void waiting to be filled. But I'll let you end on this. What's your encouragement to someone thinking about becoming a celebrant today? - That's great advice. My two cents is, yeah, find something that you're going to get fulfillment from. It is an incredible thing to do for two people. Weddings are a highlight of some people's lives and you get to be a part of that. Everyone you meet is at an absolute high point in their life. Two people that are in love or looking to start a dynasty or something like that. So you will only work with wonderful people that tend to be incredibly passionate in love that are looking to make something really wonderful. So if that sounds good to you, I'd dive into it. - Lucky, that's such a good ending. Thank you. Give us a shout out. What's your social and website and that kind of thing. - Weddings by the Beard. It is everywhere you're going to find it, including on the bathroom sink after I shave, Instagram, Facebook, online. Thank you so much for having me.
### Marriage statistics 2022
It's marriage statistics release day, which as many of you know is my favourite nerdy day of the year! So here's my annual rundown of the marriage statistics for 2022.
You know how in Victoria in particular we were all run off our feet catching up with all the COVID postponements last year? It's delightful to see that play out in the numbers: 2022 saw the highest number of marriages on record, 127,161 (for comparison's sake, 2020 had 78,987 marriages, 2021 had 89,167 marriages, and the previous highest year was 2012 with 123,243 marriages). 2019, the last "normal" year before COVID, had 113,8715 marriages. So yes, we really were as busy as we thought we were last year! It's worth noting that this doesn't mean that marriage is more popular or that the numbers will stay this high; it's utterly impossible to make any real statements about marriage in Australia based on the last three years, and we don't think it will be until we see the 2024 stats in late 2025 that we'll really know whether the marriage rate is going up or down in actuality.
Just because graphs are fun, look at this awesome one with that incredible COVID dip and extraordinary recovery:
Marriages of same-sex people were of course higher than the last two years like all the other marriages, but for the first time we have stats on marriages including at least one non-binary person. This is because the new NOIM introduced in September 2021 asks for gender, either male, female, or non-binary (although this question is not compulsory so there's highly likely to be some marriages out there in which we can't make any calls on gender). Anyway, in 2022 there were 159 marriages including at least one non-binary person.
The age people get married at continues to climb ever so slightly: 32.5 was the median age for men to marry (as opposed to 32.1 years in 2021), and 30.9 was the median age for women to marry (against 30.5 years in 2021). Again, it's worth noting that COVID played havoc with these stats as well; the median age at marriage for men actually dropped each year between 2018 and 2021 and stayed pretty stable for women, but 2022's median ages are the highest on record.
There were more marriages in every state and territory in 2022, not just those affected by COVID lockdowns, and in fact there were more marriages than in the last "normal" year of 2019 in every state and territory except Western Australia. I think that's pretty interesting, because it suggests maybe catching up on COVID postponements wasn't the only thing driving higher numbers last year. I have absolutely no idea what else could be responsible, and we'll really have to wait for a couple more years to see what happens in more "normal" times (although I'm sure I'm not the only one who's noticing a distinct decrease in bookings for 2024, and certainly an increase in lower-cost package bookings with the cost of living crisis, so who knows what impact that will have).
Source: Australian Bureau of Statistics, Marriages and Divorces, Australia 2022
There was an absolutely standout date for marriages in 2022 being Saturday 22/10/2022 with 2,202 marriages (I love that even the number of marriages was filled with 2s), a whopping 454 more marriages than the next most popular date (8/10/2022).
We were back to more usual numbers of divorces with 49,241 finalised in 2022 after the huge number of 56,244 in 2021 due to administrative changes in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. In 2020 there were 49,510 divorces finalised, in 2019 there were 48,582 divorces, and in 2018 there were 49,674 divorces, so 2022 is a much more typical year. I find it interesting that it's really gone back to normal given how many divorces we expected to see coming out of COVID lockdowns; I think we should keep an eye on the next few years' divorce numbers before we make any final analysis about that.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics has decided to decrease the stats they release this year, so we don't have numbers on the split between civil and religious ceremonies. I'm going to email them and see if I can find out this information because I think it's pretty important. I'll update if/when I hear more!
So that's my overview of the 2022 marriage and divorce statistics. Let me know if you have any other questions you'd like me to look into!
Update - 13 December 2023
I got a response to my email to the ABS asking about the breakdown between civil and religious marriages. Here's the rather fascinating (and I'll admit, disturbing) response:
Thank you for your enquiry. Additional detail on marriages data (including breakdowns by rites - religious or civil) is available through a paid consultancy. The minimum cost for consultancies is around $600. I can advise at a national level, the proportions of marriage rites has remained similar to previous years (with around 80% by civil celebrants and around 20% by religious celebrants). If you are after a more detailed breakdown, please let us know what variables you might like and I can put together a quote (eg breakdowns by state/territory).
I will also advise that the funding for this publication has been significantly reduced. One of the largest processing costs is related to rites as we receive this information as free text from the Notice of Intention to Marry and there is a significant amount of editing and coding that occurs even to identify the proportion of civil vs religious rites. While we haven't fully worked through our plans for future years, I thought it might be of value to let you know this is a topic that may not continue to be available (or may be available in a further reduced form).
I guess we watch this space and see what happens in future years...
### Legislation regarding remote witnessing of NOIMs!
For the latest news on the remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms visit this page.
On the 15 November 2023, an omnibus bill was presented to Parliament that included a number of proposed amendments to the Marriage Act 1961.
Important: this bill has not yet been passed by either house, so the amendments are not yet law. They are still proposals at this point, although they're pretty non-controversial and should go through. We just don't know when!
Also important: at this stage, remote witnessing of NOIMs still ends on 31 December 2023. Depending on when the bill is passed (currently expected to be Feb-Mar next year), there will likely be a small gap when we can't witness NOIMs remotely. We'll keep you posted :)
Okay so now that I've got the disclaimers out of the way, let's have a look at the amendments proposed by this bill. Some of this info comes from the explanatory memorandum to the bill, and some of it comes from a confidential meeting MLCS held with the celebrant associations and networks in October to let us know this was coming (which was very much appreciated!).
Remote witnessing to be made permanent
Remote witnessing of NOIMs (i.e. witnessing signatures on NOIMs over Zoom etc) to be made permanent. This one is pretty self-explanatory, we've been doing it for two years, we've been campaigning to have it made permanent for two years, thank goodness it's finally (hopefully) happening! Thanks to all celebrants who wrote to their local MPs about this matter; we like to think everyone's efforts helped get this over the line.
NB: the location of the couple and the witness has not changed. So there is still a list of witnesses for NOIMs signed in Australia, and a separate list for NOIMs signed overseas. All couples can take advantage of remote witnessing, but they still have to abide by the appropriate location-specific witness list. In plain terms, celebrants in Australia CANNOT witness signatures on NOIMs for couples who are overseas at the time of signing.
Required to physically meet before the marriage ceremony
Celebrants will be required to physically meet separately with each party to the marriage before the marriage is solemnised. This is to ensure there are no issues with consent or duress. The meeting can occur any time up to and including on the day of the marriage. Yes, this is a new obligation that we'll have to figure out how to fit into our processes, and we'll need to await further advice from MLCS on whether there are any specific requirements for the conduct of those meetings, but honestly if it means there are less issues with people saying they didn't understand or felt coerced into getting married, it seems like a good thing to me.
Update: On further reflection I'm no longer in support of this amendment. See our submission to the Senate Inquiry for my current thinking.
Transferring NOIMs
NOIMs will officially be able to be transferred to another celebrant by request of the marrying couple. Currently the Act restricts the reasons for transfer to death, absence, or illness of the celebrant, or where "for any other reason it is otherwise impracticable for that person to solemnise the marriage."
Now this one is pretty interesting. In the compulsory OPD topic in 2017, it said that "AGD considers that 'other reasons' could ... cover situations where the couple have changed their mind and wish to use a different celebrant, as it would be impracticable for the first celebrant to solemnise the marriage if the couple did not want them to." I brought this up in the meeting last month and asked if the AGD no longer viewed "any other reason" as including change of mind by the couple, and MLCS said no, but they wanted to clarify that change of mind by the couple was an appropriate reason for transfer. Nothing wrong with having these things clarified, this is excellent!
"Presence" clarified to "physical presence"
Marriages must be solemnised "in the physical presence" of the authorised celebrant and two official witnesses. The Act currently says that marriages must be solemnised "in the presence of" the authorised celebrant and two official witnesses. There's been a LOT of argy-bargy since COVID about what "in the presence of" actually means; Mum tells me there's lots of case law supporting the interpretation that it means in the physical presence of, but this bill will amend the Act to clarify that: the Act will now say that marriages must be solemnised "in the physical presence of" the authorised celebrant and two official witnesses. Again, great to have the clarity so there's no arguments from couples.
One subdivision at a time
Celebrants will only be able to be registered under one subdivision at a time, i.e. they'll only be able to be Ministers of Religion of Recognised Denominations (Subdivision A), State and Territory Officers (Subdivision B), or Commonwealth-Registered Civil or Religious Marriage Celebrants (Subdivisions C and D). I've always been of the impression that's how it's supposed to work anyway, but there is a handful of people who are currently registered under more than one subdivision, so that won't be able to happen anymore. Any current celebrants who are registered under more than one subdivision won't be affected, it's only going forward.
Evidence of date and place of birth
The requirements for evidence of date and place of birth will be clarified. At the moment, the way s42(1)(b) is written essentially says parties have to produce a birth certificate, if they can't produce a birth certificate they can produce a statutory declaration, or they can produce a passport. It really says that statutory declarations are only relevant where a party is unable to produce a birth certificate; passports are sort of left out on their own. So this subsection will be reordered to clarify that stat decs are for when a party does not have a passport and it is impracticable (i.e. practically impossible) for them to obtain a birth certificate.
I'm pretty sure we can take credit for this one; I've been bringing it up with MLCS since Alison Pickel brought it up with me after she saw a question about it in a Facebook group :). We do still need them to clarify whether only a birth certificate is sufficient; currently s42(1)(b)(i) says we can accept "an official certificate, or an official extract of an entry in an official register, showing the date and place of birth of the party". A change of name certificate from BDM actually meets that definition, so I've asked they look into tidying it up to simply ask for a birth certificate (again this was an issue brought to me Alison after seeing it in a Facebook group). I don't suggest you start accepting name change certificates as evidence of date and place of birth; I'm pretty sure BDMs around the country would lose their shit if we started doing that!
Deputy Registrars
The Registrar of Marriage Celebrants will be able to appoint Deputy Registrars to take on some of the statutory powers of the Registrar, freeing up the Registrar for the meaty stuff like dealing with complaints. At the moment just one person is responsible for a LOT of stuff under the Act, and this would enable more decisions to be made. There is a list of powers that would NOT be able to be delegated to a Deputy Registrar, to ensure an appropriate level of oversight of the program.
The timeframe for considering applications to become a celebrant will be extended
Currently when an application is made to become a Commonwealth-Registered Marriage Celebrant, MLCS is required by the Act and the Regulations to make a decision within three months, otherwise the application is automatically rejected. This timeframe will be extended to six months, not because they think they'll need it in the majority of cases or because they want to take longer to review applications, but because sometimes applications need further information and the people or organisations providing that information take their sweet time. The application then ticks over the three-month line and is rejected, often through no fault of the applicant. They then have to start their applcation again, including paying a new registration fee. This extended timeframe will allow those few cases the time they need to be fully reviewed without penalising the applicant.
Refunding application fee
Finally, MLCS will be able to refund an application fee where someone has applied to become a celebrant but does not hold the appropriate qualification (either a Cert IV in Celebrancy or Indigenous celebrancy skills). Apparently this only happens about half a dozen times a year, but it is usually a person who really can't afford to not have the $400 or whatever the current registration fee is, and MLCS always feels bad that they can't refund the money. After this bill passes, they'll be able to, only in this very specific circumstance.
So that's it! That's an overview of the proposed amendments to the Marriage Act 1961 that are now before Parliament for consideration. Again, a reminder that this has not happened yet; we still have to wait for the bill to be passed by both houses of Parliament (hopefully in Feb-Mar next year).
Let me know any questions in the comments.
Update - 4 December 2023
On 4 December 2023, the Celebrant Institute received an invitation to make a submission to a Senate Inquiry into this bill. Basically the Senate, instead of just signing off on the bill and letting it pass into law, referred it to the Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs Legislation Committee for review.
I rang them up to try to get more information about which provisions they were concerned about and what the concerns were, but they wouldn't tell me - "you should just comment on all the provisions".
Submissions are due by 28 December and the Inquiry is due to report by 1 February 2024.
From my research, such an inquiry could result in amendments being made to the bill before it is sent back to the Senate for debate and hopeful passing. As I understand it, this could delay the passage of the bill into law if amendments are required, or the Inquiry may say no amendment are required and it might sail through.
Basically I'm not holding my breath that we'll see this bill pass into law in February, but who knows? It's all down to the vagaries of the parliamentary system, and we just have to be patient and wait.
### Embracing DMARC: A Must-Do for Celebrants
With the digital sphere becoming more integral to our work, it’s crucial we stay abreast of changes that impact how we connect with our couples and our industry. Today, I want to demystify a term that’s been floating around and is about to become even more significant: DMARC.
Starting February 2024, the email authentication protocols - DMARC, along with SPF and DKIM, will shift from best practice to a requirement, especially for those sending hefty email volumes. But before you dismiss this as “techy stuff” not applicable to you, let me tell you, this is just the start. Even if you're not sending 5,000 emails daily, Google and Yahoo’s revised guidelines are a heads-up for all of us with a domain name to get our ducks in a row.
Why Can't You Ignore DMARC?
Email is a lifeline in our business. We connect, confirm, and celebrate through it. If you’ve ever had an email bounce back or, worse, not reach a client at all, you know the frustration and potential for missed opportunities. That’s where DMARC comes in. It’s like the bouncer at the club, ensuring only the VIPs (legit emails) get through and keeping the party-crashers (phishing and spam) out.
The Benefits of DMARC for Your Celebrancy
DMARC isn’t just another hoop to jump through. It’s a protective shield for your brand’s reputation. By implementing it, you:
Boost Email Deliverability: Your legitimate emails won’t be mistaken for spam.
Protect Your Brand: Prevent scammers from using your domain to send malicious emails.
Gain Visibility: You’ll see who is sending emails on behalf of your domain.
Build Trust: Couples and vendors will know your communications are secure, enhancing trust.
What's DNS?
Domain Name System (DNS) is the system that tells your web browser that https://celebrant.institute is actually a website hosted at 110.232.143.87 and your email software that if you want to send email to someone @celebrant.institute then it should send that mail to aspmx.l.google.com, our mail exchange server.
What's SPF?
Sender Policy Framework (SPF) is a validation system that allows ISPs (Telstra, Aussie Broadband, Optus etc) and webmail servers (Gmail, Yahoo, etc) to check if the mail message has been sent from an authorised server.
So you most likely don't have your own email server, we don't, we have a few for different purposes. This email was sent from hello@celebrant.institute but not only did we not send the email from the celebrant.institute mail server, we outsourced it to Buttondown who outsources it to Mailgun.
SPF is some metadata we put in our DNS record to let your email software know that we authorise Mailgun to send email on our behalf.
What's DKIM?
The acronym DKIM stands for "Domain Keys Identified Mail". It is an encryption authentication method that is used by many ISPs to establish if the email originated from an authorised system and prevents spammers from stealing the identity of legitimate entities.
What's DMARC?
DMARC, which stands for Domain-based Message Authentication, Reporting, and Conformance, is an email authentication protocol that enhances the security of email communication by preventing email spoofing and phishing attacks.
How Will You Be Impacted?
If you own a domain from which you send emails, this change affects you. The last thing you want is your beautifully crafted wedding confirmations getting snagged in spam filters or impersonators souring your good name.
How should you respond?
There's never been a better time to get your own domain name - like iamareallycoolcelebrant.com.au - if you don't already I recommend Aussie company, VentraIP, then to use a really good email host like Melbourne's Fastmail to host your actual email - and follow all their setup guides - and then if you do bulk emailing like we do, call it email marketing or email letters to all clients, I recommend Buttondown.
“I’m Not Tech-Savvy, What Now?”
Fear not! I’m not just here to preach; I’m here to guide. If terms like SPF and DKIM sound like alphabet soup, and the thought of tinkering with your domain’s DNS settings gives you the heebie-jeebies, we’ve got you.
At the Celebrant Institute, we’re all about empowering and equipping. If setting up DMARC feels daunting, reach out. We’ll help you step by step, ensuring your email communication is as reliable and trustworthy as your service. Because at the end of the day, it’s about making sure our connections - digital or otherwise - are authentic and secure, allowing us to focus on what we do best: creating memorable ceremonies.
Let's not wait until this becomes a fire drill. Reach out if you need help, and let’s get your email security sorted. Your brand, your peace of mind, and your clients deserve it.
### Digital drivers licenses as ID, a guide for celebrants
Australian states are introducing digital drivers licenses and in November 2019 the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the AG office issued this statement on the new digital licenses in NSW, which would apply to other states as they progress into the future like Queensland has today and South Australia before it:
As a marriage celebrant you are able to use a digital driver’s licence as evidence of identity in the same way as you currently use a driver’s licence issued as a plastic card. The NSW Digital Driver Licence is legal for use across NSW and is accepted by NSW police, however, they are optional and not considered a replacement for the plastic card at this time.
An important note is made about viewing ID:
In terms of establishing proof of identity as required under section 42 of the Marriage Act, parties to the marriage may produce photographic identification such as a driver’s licence, on plastic card or digitally. If presented digitally, this may be by presenting the celebrant with their smart phone or if videoconferencing, they can hold it up to the camera for the celebrant to sight.
And the MLCS rounds out with an important guideline for us all to note before we start another Facebook group war:
Ultimately, it is up to each celebrant to determine if they are satisfied as to the identity of the people seeking to marry. If you are not satisfied of a person’s identity, you may request other evidence – either a plastic card driver’s licence or other photographic identification.
We recommend familiarising yourself with the way each state offers you a system to verify a drivers license. In Queensland there's a separate app called "Digital License Verifier" and in NSW you do it inside the Services NSW app.
### How to get featured in the media
If you've ever heard my story of going full-time as a wedding celebrant you can skip the next three paragraphs. I'd already been plugging away at celebrancy, not getting quite as much traction as one would like, for four years. One year earlier I'd done my first wedding expo to some success, and I'd been blogging about weddings for a while which caught the eye of a local journalist writing for one of the free Brisbane Quest newspapers. We had a coffee and she took notes and I heard nothing for months.
Then on the morning of December 3rd the story went live on the Quest website which was a subsection of the Courier Mail website. So technically speaking it was a Courier Mail story but the lowest of the low Courier Mail stories. Nothing in there about politics or how Canberra hates us, so it didn't really cross the threshold for the big boy paper.
But it was a slower news week, the first week of December. Politics had taken a breather that week, there were no disasters, no new conflicts or pandemics, the world was in a good place. So this good news piece about a celebrant that only does "cool" weddings slipped up the totem pole that is News Corporation's content management system and ended up on the early morning Courier Mail email newsletter.
That national email out resulted in a phone call from the producers of The Today Show on Channel Nine, and Seven Sunrise, and whatever was on Channel Ten that week, and within 24 hours I was standing in the Brisbane Botanic Gardens with a camera crew and my small legion of fans (Britt and two friends) and this segment went to air.
Still to this day people tell me they saw me on The Today Show. While Karl is still hosting I'll still put it on my website, it's good for business. From December 4th 2013 until sometime in March 2020, my brand and my business experienced exponential growth, through continued media exposure, hard work, and producing an exceptional product.
It might sound easy to just get in the media, but my break as a talent on air and in print came from a decade of producing news and entertainment radio shows before it. It's in my blood what makes a good story and what doesn't and how to work a story to get it in the right places. If you've read this far it means I'm doing a pretty good job of telling a story, you're invested in my story, and you'd like to try and replicate that success for yourself. If so, then you want to do this course by In The Media DIY and we have a sweet discount available for you.
https://vimeo.com/864232322
The course is well-detailed at inthemediadiy.com.au and for Celebrant Institute members we have a half-price offer at $499 and for newsletter readers we have a $298 discount which reduces the price to $699.
The steps are:
Go through the payment process at inthemediadiy.com.au
Click on: Coupon
Enter your discount code from below.
The price will change.
Sign up by entering your details.
You will automatically be sent to the course so you can start.
Discount code for paid members is: Click through for discount code for members (you'll need to be logged in)
Discount code for non-paid members but readers of the newsletter is: celebrantnewsletter but I'm not going to lie, if you become a member it's a better deal to pay for an annual membership and then get the members-only discount!
Both codes are valid for use through to 31 January 2024.
### Collecting email addresses at a wedding fair with a QR code and ChatGPT
Luke emailed me yesterday as I was about to solve for myself the problem he identified:
What software would you recommend to use for a marketing list? Again are their any zaps or workflows in setting up the marketing list?
Great question Luke!
I've been toying around in this realm for a while and have regrettably landed on the most expensive solution around: Active Campaign.
I'm going to show you how I created a Zapier zap to collect email addresses at a wedding fair and get ChatGPT to send each person an email instantly after they scanned the QR code and entered their email address. It was such a smooth and professional workflow, I'm really happy with it.
But before I show you how I created that I want to talk about email marketing for a moment.
Email marketing is amazing and horrible. It's amazing because people who identify with you and how you roll can and will give you their email address, and you have the opportunity to bring value back to their inbox via marketing emails. It's horrible because trying to land in someone's actual email inbox and not their spam folder is an arduous exercise that even yours truly finds hard, and tiring, and annoying.
So you'll try the cheaper products, then you'll try MailChimp, and the rest of them, and marketing folklore tells us that if you are serious about this you end up on Active Campaign. so that's where I am.
Whenever someone enquires with me, books with me, or if I interact with them at an open day or wedding fair, that email address heads into my Active Campaign contacts list and I try my hardest to bring them immense value and joy. Not spam.
So let's have a look at this zap to collect emails at a wedding fair.It was 7:41am on a Sunday morning, I'm in my hotel room in Hobart getting ready to hit the wedding trail and Luke's email reminds me that I haven't made a workflow for that day's marketing.
The goal was to create a QR code that people could scan which would take them to an ultra simple landing page on my Squarespace website that would collect email addresses. From there it would send that email address, name, and any message, to Zapier which would add the emails to my Active Campaign contacts list, a Google Sheet for backup, ask ChatGPT to write an email to that person about how we met at the Hobart wedding trail and give them a link to my information pack and create an opportunity for me to email them this week after the trail.
Enjoy the video!
https://vimeo.com/865266725?share=copy
And this is an example of what the couples received. Each once got a custom email written a fresh by ChatGPT.
### So You Want to Marry Your Friends or Family: The Real Costs and Alternatives to Becoming a Celebrant
Are you thinking about becoming a marriage celebrant just to officiate at your friends' or family members' weddings? That's a beautiful sentiment, but there's a lot you need to know and consider before taking this route.
The Real Financial and Time Commitment
Becoming an authorised marriage celebrant in Australia isn't something you can do overnight or for free. If you're planning on being an excellent celebrant, we heavily encourage you to study the Certificate IV in Celebrancy.
Here's what you're looking at:
Course Costs: A Certificate IV in Celebrancy can cost around $2,500 to $5,000, depending on where you study; we offer the course and you can find more information here.
Time Investment: The course usually takes around 12 to 18 months to complete.
Application Fees: After successfully finishing your course, you must apply to the Attorney-General's Department, which incurs another fee and approximately three months' wait time.
Annual Fees: To maintain your authority to officiate weddings, there are yearly registration costs.
If you're not planning on making this a business, these become sunk costs, and it all of a sudden becomes a lot more cost and time effective to hire a professional celebrant.
Business Costs to Consider
If you do decide to make a celebrancy business out of it, there are other costs to budget for:
Marketing: Website, social media advertising, expos/fairs, and networking.
Equipment: A good quality PA system, microphone, and tablet computer.
Transport: Travel costs for destination weddings and even just driving around your own city.
Time: Preparing for ceremonies, meetings with couples, and the wedding day itself takes considerable time.
Alternatives to Becoming a Celebrant
Before you commit to this pathway, let me offer you some alternatives. Instead of going through the financial and time commitment of becoming an authorised celebrant, you could consider involving a professional.
You can find a celebrant who aligns with your style and values via celebrant.xyz. Here are some ways you could work with an authorised celebrant:
Pre or Post-Ceremony Legalities: The authorised celebrant can take care of all the legal elements before or after the actual ceremony day.
Morning Legalities: On the day of the wedding, perhaps in the morning while everyone's getting ready, the authorised celebrant can handle the legal words and paperwork.
First Look Legalities: Minutes before the public ceremony, after a first look if there is one, the couple and the authorised celebrant can complete the legal obligations.
Address the Crowd: Though this is my (Josh's) personal least favorite because it interrupts the ceremony flow, the celebrant can handle the legals publicly during the ceremony.
As an example, when I marry couples overseas, I usually handle the paperwork either ahead of or after the international trip since I have no legal authority to marry them in foreign nations like Italy or Iceland. But in Australia, I can handle the legalities, usually before the ceremony in the morning or perhaps during the first look.
Conclusion
I'm all for more amazing celebrants joining the industry, and if you think you can bring something special to the role, then by all means, pursue it. But if you're considering it solely to marry your friends, weigh the costs and commitments carefully. There are alternative ways to be part of your friends' big day without becoming a celebrant.
Feel free to reach out if you have more questions about the journey to becoming a celebrant or finding alternatives.
### Authenticity and honesty as a celebrant
A member asked:
I would like you to do an article on how honest should you be with clients? For instance should newly appointed celebrants make the fact they are not experienced known? Or should we fake it till we make it? If a client asks if we have ever done a certain ritual like hand fasting should we be honest and say I have never done one or should we say no problem (and then quickly research it and then wing it on the day)?
In my view (and I'm pretty sure Josh would agree with me), honesty and authenticity are EVERYTHING in this business. Ultimately we are selling ourselves, our point of difference from other celebrants is our unique personality and traits we bring to the work, so being who we are completely and openly is key to both attracting clients it will be awesome to work with, and making our lives easier. We work pretty closely with our clients, and our work can create fairly intimate relationships, and honestly, it's exhausting to pretend to be someone or something that you're not all the time.
I see no issue at all with being upfront with clients about your level of experience. It can even be a selling point: "look, I'm new, so I'm charging you less to make up for my lack of experience, but being new also means I'm available a lot more than busier celebrants may be, and I'm super enthusiastic to try out all my new skills!" (Josh may have some things to say about this - I'm not the marketing guru, he is!)
I was absolutely honest with my couples when I started out, and I know of at least one couple who booked me BECAUSE I was honest. I did my first wedding expo when I'd only done one wedding, and that one wedding had been literally two days before the expo! That meant I didn't have any photos of me in action on display, so it was pretty obvious that I wasn't highly experienced. One bride came to my stall three times, the third time with her mum; her mum asked me, "how many weddings have you done?" I was honest and said just one. She said, "thank you so much for being honest; I could tell you were new, but I wanted to know if you would lie about it." They booked me on the spot.
I remember having this discussion with a well-known celebrant when she had just performed her 50th wedding. She was asking me whether or not she should make a big splash about this milestone on her socials, because while she wanted to celebrate, she also didn't want people to think she wasn't very experienced. I told her that she should be honest and authentic, that people would likely be deeply impressed at how quickly she'd managed to rack up so many weddings, and that in my experience numbers on the board don't really make that much of a difference to the average couple; they just want someone they can have a great time with while trusting them to marry them! I also pointed out that anyone who scrolled back through her socials would quickly be able to tell when she'd started posting and therefore how new she was :)
In terms of our member's second question, about rituals or other ceremony components, this for me depends on whether the couple asks outright. I will never actively lie. If they asked me outright if I'd done something I hadn't, I'd be honest and tell them no, I haven't done, but I have lots of resources and lots of people I can ask for advice, I'm eager to learn, and I promise to work with you to make it awesome. If they didn't specifically ask the question, I probably wouldn't volunteer the information! I've gone back and forth on whether that stance goes against my notion of "authenticity and openness at all costs", and I've decided it doesn't, for me at least :)
Considering authenticity in celebrancy also goes towards helping me know what kinds of couples I'd prefer to work with, what kinds of weddings I'd prefer to work on (e.g. I don't take bookings before 10am because mornings are not my friend), what I'm prepared to do at a wedding (e.g. I'll never do a wedding in the surf or in a hot air balloon, and I'll never be nude at a wedding), and even what kinds of language I'm prepared to use during a ceremony (e.g. I'll occasionally swear if it's relevant to the story I'm telling and only if the couple have asked for it). I might look at other celebrants on Instagram and think, "I wish I was more like them for X, Y, Z reasons," but ultimately I need to work in a way that is authentic to what I believe in and how I live my life, otherwise it's going to be difficult and I'm likely to end up resenting the clients and the job, and that's no fun for anyone.
I hope this is somewhat useful. Always remember the iconic words attributed to Oscar Wilde: Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.
### Why the World Looks to Australia for Wedding Industry Inspiration: 50 years of Celebrancy
My friend Jeff is a celebrant in Canada, where they actually call you an officiant, and we were talking about the wedding industry as we often do, and he says “I’ve looked into a lot of other markets, and haven’t seen one that comes anywhere near the Australian market for creativity, and branding.”
Something powerful happened 50 years ago this coming week, on the 19th of July 1973 actually. The Commonwealth Attorney-General at the time, Lionel Murphy, enacted an opportunity in section 39 of the relatively new Marriage Act of 1961 introduced by Sir Garfield Barwick, which was 12 years old at the time - introduced as part of the federalisation that started 60 years earlier, the federal government had been slowly going down the checklist of things it had to take responsibility for, and they'd finally gotten to marriage - the ability for the AG to appoint a civil, a not religious, marriage celebrant.
Up until that point in time in Australia anyone getting married was being married by a minister of religion, or if you were a First Nations Australian your community had its ceremonial rituals, arguably better and more enjoyable than anything that came over on the First Fleet.
But, fifty years ago the Attorney General appointed Lois D’Arcy. Slowly the numbers built from one to what is now 10,126 celebrants around Australia, appointed to solemnise marriages according to the law, not church doctrine. This year over 80% of weddings occurring in Australia will be officiated by a celebrant like Lois D’Arcy. A person from the community, operating a small solo trader business, putting their best selves forward to couples getting married.
All of the “things that should happen at a wedding” that people know from the movies or from church weddings are thrown out the window.
The celebrant must merely tell the couple what marriage is - the Attorney-General Department’s calls it the monitum, Latin for warning - and the couple must exchange vows, a single line whereby they take each other as husband, wife, or spouse. There’s paperwork to sign and I’ve glossed over some of the more technical details, like the celebrant needing to make sure both parties to the marriage are consenting but that’s all inside baseball talk.
For a country plagued by racism, sexism, and a legacy of poor political decisions - cough robodebt cough - to think that Australia has not only had some of the most progressive and liberal marriage laws in the entire world, but for 50 years now you could have been married by someone who is likeminded to you, it’s really encouraging. People from around the world, regardless of birthplace, nationality, skin colour, religion, and now gender, could marry another person as long as you were 18 or over, not already married, and consenting to marriage with that other person.
Those kinds of free market ideals not only enable that free market but also create opportunities for people to be free to be who they are, free to excel at their particular set of skills and talents. This is true for couples getting married, but also for celebrants. I don’t think I would have been any good at being the kind of celebrant other than what I am. People often comment on how I present my ceremonies without a script or reading off a page, and the truth is that I’m no good at doing it any other way. Thank Lionel I am allowed and encouraged to operate my celebrancy practice within my strengths.
It used to be that the venn diagram that decided who would marry you was a pretty simple circle: the church you went to and the minister’s availability.
Now, you get to separate those circles until there’s barely a sliver of intersecting space left, allowing you to find just the right person to officiate your marriage. The perfect celebrant isn’t a universal truth, but an individual one.
These unique market conditions created in 1973 encourage creativity in product, creativity in marketing, and creativity in service.
That leadership in creativity started with the celebrants in 1973 but it’s spread like a virus to all facets of the Australian wedding industry since. From wedding planners to photographers, all of the suppliers to a wedding are branches on a tree that grew from the ceremony. Who creates the best wedding ceremonies? Australian wedding celebrants with their freedom of expression, freedom of creativity, and freedom from thousands of years of wedding tradition and status quo.
Australian wedding creatives lead the global industry today, not only in their service delivery to clients in Australia and abroad, but in education and professional development, with Australians like Jai Long, James Day, Glenn Mackay, Jonas Peterson, Grace Cardona and Andrew Fenaughty, Samm Blake, and so many others that I’m lucky to not only call friend but colleague.
It’s amusing to consider that a country’s entire wedding industry being a world leader in creativity and business aptitude can all be traced back to the federal member of parliament who introduced no-fault divorces to Australia.
Lionel giveth marriage, and he taketh away.
Find out about our campaign to update the Marriage Act so it serves us well in the future at marriageact.plus
### How to use ChatGPT to sent instant replies to wedding enquiries
If you've seen people using AI in their business and you're wondering how you could use it in yours, here's a demonstration on how I'm using ChatGPT to reply to wedding enquiries with emails like this. Before you do steps like this you want to map out a succinct and customer-focused, value-adding. customer journey.
The goal with my customer journey is to provide value to my potential clients the whole way, to build trust and reputation, and obviously, one day secure their booking.
So in this tutorial, I'll show you how I take their input from my contact form, take that to Zapier, and inside Zapier I have a zap that ads them to my email marketing list, checks their wedding date in my Google Calendar, sends them an instant personalised email that lets them know if I'm available or not, sends a text acknowledging that sometimes emails go to spam and they should look for the email I've just sent and wraps the whole process up without needing too much work from me.
A side note: in the tutorial, the SMS messages don't send properly and they weren't received until about six hours later. This was due to regulatory issues with my Twilio account. The Australian and US governments have recently introduced laws that make it harder for people to SMS spam, which is good, but it means people like me sending text messages like this need to tick more boxes. I thought I'd ticked them all beforehand, I hadn't.
[Watch on the Loom website]
Want to see more screen recordings? Let me know how I can add value to you and if there are any processes of mine you would like to know more about.
### Six AI chat prompts celebrants can use to make fresh content today
Want to start playing with AI chat in a way that will make sense to your celebrancy practice and business? Here are five prompts you can ask to get a unique insight into your business today.
I'm using Microsoft Bing today because it has internet access. (ChatGPT kind-of has internet access, it's complicated but we'll just use Bing today).
To use Bing you need to be using the web browser, Microsoft Edge. Install Edge, then go to bing.com/new
The first prompt I want to ask is how Bing and GPT4 see me currently. Insert your name in the blank line.
Act as if you are a marketing expert and you have intimate knowledge of the wedding industry in Australia, tell me everything you know about the wedding celebrant _________ and the most common search terms and directories couples searching for a celebrant would find him on or with?
Secondly, I'm asking Bing to audit all my different web presences and detect any inconsistencies or errors.
Acting as if you are an SEO expert, can you do an audit of __________'s online presences and report on any inconsistencies or errors that should be addressed?
Honestly, this is helpful and I feel stupid for having missed these pieces.
Now I'm going to start activating some of these tips by creating content as directed. But I want to use the right words.
What are all the different ways people could describe what ________ does? Help me assemble a list of good and helpful keywords that regular people use to describe what Commonwealth Authorised Marriage Celebrants do?
Nothing terribly new there, but let's expand on that by replying and adding some more instructions:
that's great, but can you help broaden the base of things I can talk about so I am helpful to people searching for a great celebrant. What phrases, keywords, and topics, should I write about or mention in my writing?
Now we're getting more helpful.
Now I'm going to reply to that message and ask "Give me twenty great topics I can write for my blog or social media that will be helpful to couples but also help my search engine ranking"
Apologies for the UK mentions, I'm writing this while in London, but I'm sure you're smart enough to change the UK to Australia or a more local region to you.
Still feeling a bit stuck for a blog post or social media post? Get Bing to expand on the idea:
Can you expand on the topic "How to elope with a celebrant in Australia" and give me a skeleton or some pointers to write to?
In the end that human touch is still required. You need to customise and write or record for your own brand's benefit and in your own voice. But this would be a great help if you were all out of ideas.
### Start playing with generative AI
I'm the guy who's always trying to be at the cutting edge, not to be cool or strange, but just because I have years of experience that have told me that the cutting edge eventually makes its way down to the rest of the population quickly enough and when it does I'd like to be prepared. That's my whole stance on AI. If you were to peer through Sarah and my iMessage history it's mostly me demoing generative AI stuff to her and in response, Sarah wows and compliments me on sharing. I'm a tad over-excited about it but I truly do think that the current phase of computing that the media dubs "AI" is going to change everything.
The best way to understand computers forever is that they work on a GIGO system. Garbage in, garbage out. Whatever you put in gets computed and is spat back out at you. If it's garbage in, you get garbage out.
So here are a few things you can try to get your hands dirty this week, some ways to put some garbage in and see what comes out.
Microsoft Bing Chat or Google Bard or ChatGPT
These systems are all different recipes for the same meal: you chat with a computer.
The secret to using these chats well is to prompt them well. There's a new industry of prompt experts, or spell casters, who know how to ask the best questions and have the best conversations with chat robots.
Here's an example of a chat I just had with ChatGPT to help build a marketing plan if I was moving to Dolphin Sands in Tasmania. That's all really helpful, but ChatGPT doesn't know a lot about local businesses yet, so let's take that data to Microsoft Bing's new AI chat. You have to be using Microsoft Edge as a web browser, then go to bing.com/new. I take the last answer from ChatGPT and feed it into Microsoft Bing Chat and I've got this big list of wedding vendors I should network with along with contact details! From there I wanted to get some SEO information from the horse's mouth, so I went to Google. Google Bard. Here's what Bard told me to do with my website.
Prompting with "Act as if" and then giving detailed instructions is a great way of using these chat robots/chatbots for the best results.
Too long, didn't video
If you have ever gotten off a video call and thought 'What did we even talk about?' then this Generative AI tool is for you. You invite it to your Zoom call and it listens and emails you a summary of the call afterwards. Wild!
Chat with a PDF
Here's a fun one to end out on. ChatPDF lets you upload a PDF and then have a conversation with the bot about that PDF. Here's an example: there's a new Steve Jobs book called Maker Something Wonderful. I uploaded that to ChatPDF and I can now chat with the book.
Some technical notes
Sometimes a generative AI model can sound confident when it's wrong, sometimes it can hallucinate and just talk crazy, and sometimes it's wrong. Use your better judgement. A good example of that is to ask any of these bots this question and watch them get it wrong: "What is the latest date someone can lodge a notice of intended marriage form with their Australian marriage celebrant if they would like to get legally married, according to Australian law, on the 31st of March 2024?" Here's how ChatGPT answers, incorrectly.
If you don't know the answer, that's what Celebrant Institute membership is for, so you can ask questions of Sarah and me because human intelligence and help is still the most valuable form of intelligence.
### Get AI-generated summaries of your video calls
2020 brought us many gifts, but for so many the lasting gift is video calls. We had them before 2020 but they're very normal to have today. So when I found this new tool that records, transcribes, and then summarises your video calls I was coloured curious.
TL;DV is the name of the app, a play on the TL;DR meme of writing. TL;DR means "too long, didn't read".
You simply sign up for an account and install the software which integrates with Zoom, Google Meet, and soon Microsoft Teams, and when you're on a call you press the TL;DV button and it invites itself to the call as well.
Not long after the video call you get an email like this:
The software also pulls out what it believes to be important or noteworthy clips which lets you download the video and audio to share in a post.
So even if you don't use the clips feature, the entire call is there, recorded and transcribed, which means while you're on the call you have to take fewer notes and you can be more present in the call.
Enjoy!
I can see this being a really helpful tool for meetings with couples. As you end each meeting you can add the summaries to your notes and help you refer back to issues any of you brought up in the meeting.
### Open up the old internet and just toss some stuff in there
Josh wrote an article here on the Celebrant Institute website and received lots of feedback on it, and Sarah had some thoughts on it. Here's the link to the edited article, and the archived version from before this podcast episode.
Link to listen in new page or in your podcast app
Transcript
Josh Withers
Welcome to another episode of Australia's 48th favourite celebrant podcast. So I've interviewed 49 people, Sarah, and they said that this is definitely, definitely their favourite except for one person.
Sarah Aird
Okay dude, you need to stop making up statistics. I think that we learned that yesterday.
Josh Withers
Oh, yeah, true.
Sarah Aird
So no more making up statistics. Correct.
Josh Withers
No more. Welcome to the Celebrant Talk Show then in that case.
Sarah Aird
There you go.
Josh Withers
No stats backing out. My name is Josh Withers and the other voice you're hearing is Sarah Aird. We are not just the co-host of the Celebrant Talk Show podcast, we're also the co-founders of the Celebrant Institute. And in case you need one more data point to know who we are, Sarah is also, I really like I want to call you the principal, like school principal, because that's kind of how I understand you're also identifying a CEO of the celebrant Institute, RTO.
Sarah Aird
Yes. That is the term that they use for us.
Josh Withers
But school principal is how I view you.
Sarah Aird
Sure. I think I'm also called the executive officer and also something, some other like hire something, something anyway. Yeah. I'm called many, I have many hats. They all just mean the same thing. Um, and we'll go with school principal. I quite like that.
Josh Withers
I like it. Yeah. Uh, I'm recording this podcast in Hawaii, because that's where we are this week. Uh, Sarah, I believe you're still in inner city, Melbourne.
Sarah Aird
Yes. I'm in Melbourne where it is 3.30 PM on Monday, the 1st of May, which is not, it's still April in Hawaii, isn't it?
Josh Withers
Actually the most confusing thing for me this year doing this travel around the world is, um, I want to produce the monthly email that goes out for the Celebrate Institute subscribers, um, on the first day of each month. And I, I really have to do this. There's this whole brain fart that goes on. I'm like, what day is the first day of the month? And it turns out that it's today, the 30th of April, um, in Hawaii. So it's 7.30 PM here and, uh, glad to be here.
Sarah Aird
You're not the only person who does that. So fashion critical is an amazing Facebook page that I follow. And she comments on people's red carpet outfits and she's hilarious. And yesterday she put a post going, hold the horses. everybody tomorrow is the Met Ball Gala thing. I will be posting. It's very exciting. And today she posted and went, actually I forgot that it's America. So the first of May in America is like tomorrow our time. So sorry, I won't get be getting a post today. I promise it's not just you.
Josh Withers
Well, uh, look, talk about posting. I did post something. Open up the old internet and just toss some stuff in there. People love it.
Sarah Aird
Okay. So the entire reason that we are recording this podcast today is because I wanted to talk to you about the article that you posted on Saturday. I wanted to provide some more context and I wanted to provide a response from me as well because I haven't done that yet. So let's just wind back the clock a few days, shall we? So this all started, Josh, when you sent me a screenshot of a post that a friend of yours, a photographer friend of yours had made on their personal Facebook page, a bit of a rant about a celebrant that he had worked with at a wedding recently. And that celebrant was really trying to do his job as the photographer for him. And it wasn't going down very well. Yeah, it wasn't a lot of fun for him. wasn't a lot of fun for him and it was way outside the bounds of anything I have ever heard of a seller and doing before. So in response to that, so you sent me that, we had a bit of a, "Oh my God, here we go again," because this is not an isolated incident. I reckon several times a year, you send me messages that photographers have sent you or you've seen in a photography group about something that a celebrant has done at a wedding. Often it's things that we're aware of that, you know, something like, for example, this is something that I learned in my first year. Like the celebrant has said, "Do we need another kiss to make sure the photographer gets it?" Now, I used to say that in my first year until a photographer told me that was really offensive because it suggested they weren't doing their job. And I went, "Shit, good point. I hadn't thought about that. Thanks for the feedback. Now I still like to have a second kiss because I think there should be lots of kissing at a wedding, but I don't phrase it in terms of putting down another vendor. I phrase it as family and friends. Do we need more kissing so that we always get another kiss? Because they're getting married. Let's have all the kissing. But that was a really valuable thing for me. And that is something that might be one of the things that you have sent me over the years or a celebrant being in the kiss shot. And that's been uploaded to a photographer group. Things that we, again, things that we see happen all the time. A lot of them are because the celebrant in question doesn't know. They haven't learned yet. That's okay. We have to learn these things. But this one was way outside the bounds of that. And there were things that were not, not even, not normal and not okay. And then a couple of days later, I think it was Saturday, you said to me in response to that post, "I've written this list for the Celebrant Institute. Can you have a look and see if there's anything that you would add to the list?" I, in my usual fashion, when you ask me to review a list, I only reviewed the list. I didn't read the introduction to the article. I just read the list. And I thought the list was pretty good. I sent you back a couple of things that I would add to it, which you did, which was really good. But I thought the list, just the list, I thought was pretty much okay. Yes, some of your style in the way you write is not the way I would have written it. But that's one of the things that makes us a good partnership is that we have very different styles. We do things differently and we've never been afraid to challenge each other. This is your article not mine so I wasn't about to correct your style. And so I went, "Yep, great, no problem." It went out. It got some fairly positive reaction on Facebook
but not so much on Instagram. And I sat watching it unfold on Instagram yesterday Um, as a lot of celebrants got really upset about the way it was presented,
not about the message, but about the messaging, if you like.
So the tone, um,
and I sat there yesterday,
watching it unfold and thinking to myself, I don't know what to do here.
Do I weigh in? I'm worried about looking different.
like I'm being defensive.
On the other hand, Josh is my business partner
at the Celebrity Institute is a partnership between us.
This impacts on me as well, potentially.
I didn't want to stir the pot anymore.
I didn't want to give any more kind of ammunition,
I guess, or oxygen.
I also didn't want to shut it down.
I didn't want people to stop being able
to air their responses,
because I think it's really important
that if you've had a response, a visceral response like that,
you should have the opportunity to air it.
So for example, I know that some brands
will just turn off comments.
I didn't think that was gonna be a useful strategy.
I thought about making a post saying something like that,
I thought the points were good,
but I thought maybe the delivery could have some changes,
but I didn't want to sound like I was being paternalistic
to you, which means, you know, being parental and this is the way you should do things.
Like people were accusing you of being towards them.
So I've just been sitting with it for, you know, it's now kind of 48 hours since the
original post went out and I've thought of lots of different ways.
I've thought about rewriting the article and so posting them side by side about, you know,
because I do believe that in the message, maybe this is a better way of putting it.
I've thought about this doing exactly what we're doing now, this podcast episode.
I thought about making my own video in response.
None of the options I came up with were perfect.
Part of me wants to go and hide in a corner and not respond to this all
because I don't like confrontation and this is terrifying.
And I'm not trying to be confrontational to anybody.
Not our not the people who have raised their concerns.
or to you. What I'm trying to say is we got this wrong.
We got this wrong.
Josh got it wrong in the way he wrote it.
I got it wrong because I missed it.
So I want to talk a little bit about me missing it.
The first thing is, as I said, I didn't read the introduction,
and I think the introduction to the article is where most of the issues are.
And I'm going to talk you through Josh,
where I think the specific issues are in the specific wording,
because I know that a lot of the feedback we've been getting
has been very much about your tone, but without giving you specific examples of where that might
be problematic or how it could be done differently to have a different impact. So yeah, I didn't read
the introduction, which is my mistake, but I don't read everything Josh writes because I don't have
time. And yesterday was my Saturday was I was with my family when he sent it to me and blah, blah,
Anyway, the second reason I think I missed it is because I have been reading your stuff
for so long that I am just used to this is the way you write.
Let's be fair, you've been pissing celebrants off for 15 years
in the way that you write because often, and it has put a target on your back and you and I have
talked about that before because often your writing can come across as you know all the things and
other people don't and it can come across a bit as you telling them they have to do it this way.
Now I think you've softened a lot in the last, well certainly in the 10 years that I've known you,
I think that you've gone very much from I know that you were taught to do it this way but that
way is wrong and this is the way I do it and that's the only good way because that's how you used
to be. I don't think you're really quite that anymore. You've definitely softened and you've
definitely moved more into sharing your knowledge and experience and saying this is how I do it,
this is something for you to think about. I think there's some specific ways that we can change
this specific article. But because I've been reading your writing for so long, I'm just used
to it. So it was just like, oh yeah, let's just Josh being Josh. Sometimes he's a bit,
we have a bit of a hyperbole with, you know, all celebrants do this or 99% of celebrants
don't engage with professional development or whatever it is. Because that is the way you write.
your writing is very usually heightened and escalated and that's the way you get your point
across by being over the top. And that's, you know, when you are talking to your couples,
it's generally been okay because a lot of them love that shit. The ones who don't,
they just don't hire you and that's easy. But in this circumstance, you are, we're trying to
teach and to mentor and to, and there are, what is that terrible saying?
You attract more bees with honey. Is that what it is?
So there's softer ways of doing that.
And yeah, so that's why I think I missed it,
because I've been reading your stuff for so long and I'm just used to it.
So having said all of that,
now that I've looked at it again with some fresh eyes,
I've got a few very specific examples of where I think the problems have arisen.
And if it's okay, I'm just, I just thought I'd take that, take you through them.
Please, please.
So if we start at the top of the original article, um,
I think the first paragraph is amazing.
We talk about the wedding industry being weirdly unique because two people who've
never arranged an event before are arranging this massive event.
They're bringing 15 to 20 vendors together who might never have worked
together before and they expect it all to go off without a huge yes.
Correct. We need to work together to make that happen.
This is the next bit is where I think we get into a bit of trouble is that we
talk about celebrants.
It's time we sat down and we're pissing off other vendors.
Instead of saying some celebrants are pissing off other vendors,
there's been an instant, all of you are doing the wrong thing,
whether that is how you intended it or not, because I'm pretty sure it's not.
Your intentions are never, I know that your intentions never malicious.
I know that your intentions are to raise all of us up,
but that is how people will have taken it.
Every single one of you is doing the wrong thing. Um,
because it says we, and it says celebrants,
it doesn't qualify that at any point to say some celebrants are pissing off
other vendors.
Some celebrants are not making this as easy as it could to be a
team that's working together. So I think that's the first thing.
And when people have read that and gone, "Jeez,
he's having a go at me because he's included me and everyone,"
they're now in a negative mind frame to read the rest of the article.
I think we also didn't need, I'm making the grand assumption that you're already aware
of the legal aspects of being a marriage celebrant and I'm not going to tell you how to make
a ceremony.
It's a bit condescending.
We didn't need it.
It's not relevant to this, to this article.
Can I, can I add some explanatory notes to the, to that?
Please.
Because I suppose reading this and getting the feedback on it, like my, well, anyone's
writing, just I'm sure it's not personal to me.
writing is just a textual representation of the existing mental models and workflows and
just how they think that's, if you've never written before, that's kind of what it is.
It's just, you've already got this shit in your brain and it kind of hits a keyboard
and you know, it goes out like that. And so something I think about a lot with the entire
Celebrant Institute, not the RTO, but just our, the membership and their writing is that there's,
there's these, sometimes I visualize it as silos and sometimes I visualize it as kind of layers,
foundational layers of being a celebrant and talking to them. And I separate them because,
so the very base layer, the foundational kind of on the ground is the, there's legal stuff.
They're just the legals.
You know, we've got professional development courses on refreshing the legals.
You've got a whole search for, well, it's not just about the legals, but obviously deeply
covers the legals.
And that stuff is just not even like, there's like 1% room for creativity.
Like you can have a bit of fun with the vows kind of, no, but yeah, words to that effect.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like 99.99% of the legal stuff.
That's not the face.
Yeah.
these, these just are the little laws and the rules and et cetera.
And it's not, it's not kind of convertible.
And then, um, and then there's this next level of like, just base kind of operating as a
celebrant, like the practice of being a celebrant.
And then there's, yeah, this was the latest thing kind of falls apart from here.
Cause there's obviously like, uh, this kind of celebrant, that kind of celebrant and obviously
different kinds of ceremonies.
And, but there's, um, yeah, I suppose in my mind, if we're gonna talk about legal stuff,
then let's talk about legal stuff.
And it's in this frame of mind. This is like, this is just what the words in the act say. So,
you know, sorry. And then, um, and then it says above what this article about is like,
there's levels of creativity and there's, yeah, any easy example of script, no script, you know,
um, and, and neither one's right or wrong. And I'm so excited to talk about them in so many levels.
Um, but it's, it's very, um, subjective to everyone. Um, and so I suppose in like, cause
I've been thinking about this article for years and, uh, and, and I thought, well, this,
this is sits beneath those creative levels of like, I'm script or no script or whatever.
I, you know, on the, on the bearded, so I'm the diving, so whatever, whatever, wherever you sit
sit in that world, it's beneath that, but it's above legals.
And that sentence was me kind of classifying that I read back and I say,
I can see how it can sound kind of sending. Um,
and obviously the addressing celebrant as opposed to some celebrants. Uh,
I suppose in my mind, I, a little bit,
a little bit like the hashtag not all men,
like when people talk about sexual abusers or, uh,
or men are sexual abusers, that I don't feel offended at that.
Cause I'm like, oh cool.
I'm well aware of my position in that.
I am not one of those people.
So what they're talking about isn't me,
even though they're talking about men,
they're not talking about me.
But then also I know men who they hear,
they're like, ah, I'm so angry.
And so I do understand how the addressing
of an audience matters.
And so I see how I miss the mark there.
And I think that's one of the things
that's been picked up a few times in some of the comments has been this article addresses
us as a homogeneous bunch, as if all celebrants are the same. We know that not all celebrants
are the same. And I think that if we try to address our articles more to some celebrants,
I think that that's reasonable because we know,
you know, that every celebrant does it differently. We know that, um,
that, and we know that not everything on this list is going to
apply to every single celebrant.
We also know that there are some things on this list that, I mean,
some celebrants probably can, um,
a lot of celebrants probably can relate to some of the things on this list,
but not others. And that's okay too.
So I think maybe if we, you and I, are more careful about the way we address our articles
to admit that, to acknowledge that there are nuances within the celebrant community
and that there are lots of different types of people out there.
So I guess that's what I wanted to say about that.
And I think that, as I say, when you start to read something and you're immediately on the
defensive because you think he's having a go at me, then he,
then you're not going to read the rest of the list with a,
with an maybe open or positive mindset that you might've read if the introduction
had been phrased differently, even if the, um,
title had been different. You know what?
I'm actually okay with the title of the article because it's clickbait.
This is what we have to do to get shit read these days.
Like I've got a website stats open on an average day we get between 150, so not 150, 100, 250
views on our website.
No one reads, sorry, no one.
I shouldn't say no one.
But you know, on the first...
Not heaps of people.
Not heaps of people.
You know, and I see our membership numbers, like 96% of the celebrants aren't a member
of the celebrants.
So I guess I'm also writing, I'm like, well, you know what?
I think this is important.
I'd like people to see it.
Because the reason why people see it
is not for the reason that someone can come and say,
gosh, I can take all the money.
$10 a month isn't going to--
[LAUGHS]
It's not a deal breaker.
But I deeply am interested in raising
the standard of celebrancy so that when someone says,
I'm a celebrant, um, the reaction is like, Oh my gosh,
like your craft, your profession is, is, is excellent and profound and amazing.
And we get that to an extent, but also, uh, when I said that,
I hear so many stories like just a few days ago, I heard a story.
Yeah. So I went over to him last week at the celebrant.
Couldn't remember the name. I cool. Cool. That's so I'm sorry.
I don't do that, but, uh, I don't know how to react to that. You know,
Maybe like if you're a surgeon, you're a surgical,
my mate was killed by a surgeon last week when he was doing his transplant.
Yeah.
So in terms of how I would present this because,
you know, a few people have said to me today, you don't write like that. Well,
no, I don't. That's what I've said before. Josh and I are different.
We have different styles. I might have presented this as, um,
we have had feedback.
Both Josh and I have had feedback from other wedding professionals over the years
that some of the celebrants they work with are doing some of these things or
many of these things, um, they might,
it might be useful for you to consider if you're doing any of them in your own
practice, they're good for you to think about. Um,
and maybe think about different ways of doing things.
If any of these things do resonate with you,
or if something in here is something that you're doing that you've had good
feedback on, maybe ask, you know,
the photographer at your next wedding. Hey, I've been doing this. Is this helpful?
Because they'll tell you.
And also remember that the photographers are different.
Some photographers love the celebrants to help with the group photo.
Some photographers fucking hate it.
So ask the photographer.
That's I think that's the biggest point here is to open the lines of communication.
So if some of the things on this list, if you go, well, I do that,
but I know that the photographer likes it.
make sure every photographer likes it because some of them won't.
And so it's just about asking the question.
And I know there's a lot of things that I have learned over my years
through receiving feedback.
I don't always get feedback because as we canvassed in that
in the Instagram post, some of the photographers are like,
yeah, I've tried to feedback to celebrants and it's not worth it
because they don't listen.
That when I have received feedback, it's generally been because I've asked for it.
And it's, and asking for it only makes me a better celebrant.
So I think if there's something on this list that you're doing that you think is helping,
please ask and make sure it is helping and that it's not just that you think it's helping.
I hope that doesn't sound awful.
Anyway, I do want to go through the list because I do think that a lot of it is again really useful,
but I think there's, there's probably some wording things.
Actually, there's just one more thing I wanted to say.
The other thing is that I think it's possible that the people who read the
Instagram post and then moved to, moved on and read the,
the article we're possibly preaching to the converted.
We're possibly talking to the people who are already all over this stuff.
And they're, you know, they're professional, they really great,
great team players and they're doing all the right things. Or, you know,
they're working well together and checking in and communicating and all those sorts of
things.
It's possible that the people who really need to read this are not the ones who are following
us on Instagram and who are reading our articles.
So that's another possibility.
And then of course, when you, you are already doing all of these things and it's presented
to you as a you, because all of us are doing the wrong thing.
Sometimes that can lead to feelings of defensiveness as well.
So it's possible we're already preaching to the converted, but anyway.
Yeah. Yeah. Not very fair.
Yeah. So the first one here is that they don't need us to set up shots.
I think that that's really fair.
I am checking in with the photographer all the way through.
And by checking in, I mean, I'm making eye contact with them all the way through the
ceremony.
I actually had a ceremony many years ago where I was about to present, I was about to declare
them husband and wife and asked them to kiss.
And I happened to make eye contact with the photographer who started
desperately shaking his head at me because his SD card had run out in his camera.
And he needed to change it before the kiss to make sure he got the kiss shot.
And because I am always checking in and I happened to look at him at that moment,
I could go, okay, I'm just going to wait a minute before they say the next bit.
just while the photographer changes his card over.
So it's that kind of that communication,
which is eye contact and gestures.
It's not necessarily a,
hey mate, are you ready for the kiss?
Like, can I go?
It's only ever happened once in my, you know,
nearly 500 weddings,
but I'm really glad that I've got that practice
of always kind of checking in through eye contact.
And yet the signing the same as Josh has said,
closest I would suggest is during the signing you respectfully and politely ask them if they've
got everything they need spot on. Um, and I will, I definitely do that also because I've had
photographers miss the entire signing because I'm really quick and they got distracted doing
something else. Oops, I was a little bit too quick that day. We just mocked up the signing
during the song. It was fine. It's no problem. Um, this second one is a really big one and it's
something that I'm a little bit horrified that we even had to list, but it's in here.
When you're on that, like when you're celebrant, put your phone away. Don't, don't be filming
stuff for your TikTok or your, your Instagram. Absolutely the rule can be accepted if an alien
spacecraft arrives. But to be honest, I don't have my phone anywhere near me. So I would still have
to run to get my phone to capture the alien spacecraft landing. That would be tricky.
Yeah, people. There's plenty of people with phones and cameras and all the things. I know it's really
hard to get stuff for social media. I know that it's really difficult to get stuff from photographers
or even from families, from couples. But yeah, it's not a good look to be filming stuff on your phone,
especially when you get in the way of the professionals who've been hired to be there
to specifically capture those moments. So I think that we can probably all agree that that one's
not okay. And I think that that one's written really well. Get out of the way of everyone else
doing their work. Yeah, make sure that people have the space and the time if that means that you
you know need to get there a bit earlier so that you're set up and ready to go when the photographer
or videographer run in because they've been with the bride till the very last minute and now they
they run in and they're trying to get themselves sorted, you know, maybe that's okay. But,
yeah, stay out of their way. But I would add here, and I think that we talk about this
later is, is make sure that you check in with them while everyone is setting up. We'll get
to that. You're spot on about being in charge of the
vibe at the ceremony and being in control of how it feels. That's our job. We've been
hired to create a feeling and that can then be captured by the photographer and
the videographer and also in the hearts and the minds of all the people who were
there. That was terrible. But that's,
that's why we've been hired. So we should concentrate on doing that.
You know, be like,
be really careful about making the ceremony as good as possible. Like,
as Josh says in the article, if we need to suggest that chairs could possibly be moved
or, you know, like I know I've turned up and the chairs have been not in a straight line
and like the aisle is not in a straight line.
I'm going to ask why that is.
Now, I've been to a venue where the venue is like it can't be in a straight line
because there's this kink in the way the hill goes and OK, fine.
But at least I've asked the question and now I'm satisfied that there's a reason for it.
So, um, you know, so be it. We, but it's about communication.
Here's just a little tweaking with the wording for this one.
There's a lot of don'ts in this paragraph. And I, um,
like literally the word don't is in this paragraph quite often.
And I wonder if we can just soften the language a little bit to be things like,
Um, try not to be overbearing and be,
try not to be a drill sergeant. I can really be overbearing.
And I will tell people, I will own up to it. I'll say, yeah,
I know I'm really bossy. Um, sorry about that.
I just want it to be perfect. So for me,
it's not necessarily not being, so don't be overbearing.
It's sometimes being overbearing,
but then acknowledging it and apologizing for it. So, um,
I wonder if like softening that language a little bit as well would be,
would be softer and, um, less
telling off.
Yep. I think that's what I'm looking for.
We talk about pay system spot on and we talk about getting the fuck out of the
way for the kiss shot. It's so interesting to me that, um,
This is, this is a really, and this is something that came up in, I think in the Facebook comments
of somebody saying, "Hey, why don't you tell the photographers that they don't need to
tell us to get out of the kiss shot?"
Sorry, I think it was Kelly, I love you, but they do because a lot of celebrants don't
get out of the kiss shot.
To be honest, it's mainly religious celebrants who don't get out of the kiss shot, to be
honest.
That's fair.
see photos of them all the time. And so it's,
I'm really happy for, um,
for vendors to come and check in with me to make sure that I'm already doing
something that they need me to do. Uh, and that is an often it's a,
yeah, I'm all over it. Um, so for example,
I was working with a live, um,
duo one day and he came to me beforehand,
somebody I've worked with a lot and he said, so just confirming,
you'll give me a nod when you need me to start playing. Right. And I'm like, yeah,
mate, of course. And he goes, okay, good.
Just checking because the celebrating yesterday didn't and it just was messy.
So, um, if I'm okay with them checking to make sure
I'm giving them what they need. And so for the photographer,
checking to make sure I'm giving them what they need, getting a kiss shot.
I'm okay with that because then we're going to make it better. And I, yeah,
I've seen too many photos of celebrants peering,
like weirdly, lascivious at the kiss.
It's very weird.
Can I tell you, this is just a Josh thing that I just love to do because it's,
I just like to watch the world burn like that. Um,
but if a photographer or someone will come and ask whether I'll move,
I'll look him dead in the eye with a really serious face and just say, no, I stand there.
I'll leave, I'll leave it for like three or four or five seconds.
I, of course I will.
And look, often when I'm briefing the photographer before the ceremony starts,
because it's something that is part of my practice, I will go and say to them,
Hey, it's a pretty standard ceremony.
It's going to take about 20 minutes.
They've got their own vows.
Um, I've, they've got vow cards.
There's going to be one reading.
the person will stand over here, whatever it is. And, and I always say,
and I promise I'll get out of the way for the kiss shot.
So I kind of preempt it. They don't have to ask cause I've already told them again,
some softening language in this one. Don't be weird about it.
Don't run or be awkward. A way of softening that could be,
you don't need to run or be awkward. You know,
like just to be softening rather than starting lots of sentences with the word
don't.
Maybe, um, learn to use your PA system spot on.
Um, yeah,
I probably would take out the whole sentence about, um,
don't blame them to the guests as if someone has screwed you over.
Oh, no, that's a thing.
I know it's a thing, but I think it's a bit harsh. Um, I think,
I think saying just saying a blanket statement about don't blame other vendors
either publicly or privately,
I think would have just softened that a little bit because I know that they're
doing it. Um, but I think that that would just soften the message a bit because
it's still, it's, it's really important. We do.
And we do see, we do hear this from lots of celebrants still who,
who do have trouble with the PA system is fine until all the guests arrive and the videographer
plugs in. Those two things often happen at the same time. Often it's not the videographer
plugging in that is the problem, but it's some interference maybe with a phone or something
else the guest is standing in between the receiver and the transmitter, those sorts
of things. But because those things happen at the same time, it's very easy to go, well,
it must be because the videographer plugged in.
I think just a, yeah, just a blanket,
don't blame other vendors either publicly or privately would just be softer.
Again, I'm trying to, I think the message is important,
but delivering it in a softer way. And look,
you people who are listening, if you disagree,
I would love to hear about it because we both need to make sure that our
language is, is not going to upset people.
Um, and because we don't, that's the last thing we want is to,
is to make people upset, um, share it if they want,
tell them how they can get it all good. Before you start the ceremony,
let them know that you're about to start. That's really, it's really important.
Like have that chat. Hey, we're about to get started. Is that okay? Uh, and,
you know, everyone kind of needs to, to be ready together.
if they're still setting up their camera or they haven't put the microphone on the groomsman yet
or whatever it is, they might just need another minute or two. So it's the checking in. Again,
it's this constant communication. This is what is super important. I didn't have any kind of issues
with the language there though. Yes, spot on about their being, if there's any rituals or things that
aren't run of the mill, let them know just before the ceremony. This could include if the ceremony
is a bit longer or shorter than normal. The reason I suggested that you add this was actually a story
that a photographer told me many years ago, that there was going to be a candle lighting ritual
during the ceremony and she didn't know about it and she was therefore in the wrong position
to capture the moment the candles were lit because of where it was in the space and where the bodies
would be between her and the candle. If she'd known about it ahead of time, she would have made
her way around to that side of the room and been there ready to go. So that's always stuck in my
mind to remember to go, "Hey, there's going to be a hand fasting and Gran's going to come up and get
the ties and she's, I can see her sitting in the front row or whatever it is, whoever's got the
the rings, you know, just those little things that aren't, that aren't normal run of the
mill. And I, it was the same photographer who commented on Instagram and said that she'd
had a situation recently where the celebrant didn't tell them they weren't doing the signing
in the middle of the ceremony. They were pulling it out till after the ceremony. And so she
didn't have chance to get people to hand out the confetti during the signing because that's
when she usually organizes the handing out of the confetti.
So again, just that comms breakdown. Again, part of that is the breakdown between the
photographer and the couple not having that discussion. But also the photographer and
the celebrant having that discussion beforehand would have been useful. Because even though
that pulling out the signing and putting at the end of the ceremony is becoming a thing
that a lot of celebrants are starting to do in terms of other vendors, they don't necessarily
know that that's a thing. So because it's not normal yet, we just need to tell them
that something different from what they're expecting is going to happen.
It's okay, this is a really big one. It's possible that they want some help with the family and group
photos afterwards, but don't assume it and don't announce it unless you've spoken to them first.
So this is a really interesting one. I know some photographers who have a very structured way of
doing family photos and they don't want any assistance with them at all. I know some
photographers who are like, "Oh, celebrant, here's the list that the family gave me. Can you hang on
to this list and can you call out on your microphone for each group of people to come forward?"
Again, different photographers have different styles just like different celebrants have
have different styles.
So it's really important that we chat to each other about how that's going to
work before time, before it happens.
I always chat to my photographers during the signing and I say to them,
I just check in with them. Are you doing a group photo?
Even if the couple have already told me they're doing one, I check with them.
Are you doing a group photo? Yes. And I say, where would you like to do it?
Because I'm going to send a couple there straight after the processional.
I'm going to say walk down the aisle and they go straight over to that tree
there because that's where we're going to do the group photo.
And I'll explain that.
Which to comment on that,
that's actually a really good method of moving that energy.
Um, cause trying to get everyone, everyone around is as hard for a group photo.
And so when they go over there, you wouldn't believe it.
Everyone's going to follow. And in fact, I put it in my instructions.
I will always say, you know, my housekeeping at the end.
So what's going to happen now is the couple are going to walk down the aisle.
They're going to go over to that tree over there.
You're all going to follow them.
and then there's going to be a group photo over there.
So please listen out for the photographer's instructions for that group photo.
I can, I'm not going to do that unless I've had the discussion with the photographer though.
If they say I'm not doing a group photo, I go, great, shut my lips.
No comment about a group photo because that's not what's going to happen.
And the, what photos are going to happen is not my domain.
That's the photographer and the couple's domain.
So I'm not going to make, I'm also not going to make any other comments about who else is going
to be in photos. I sometimes on instruction by the couple, like I've had last week, I had,
or a couple of weeks ago, I had the couple say, can you please tell everyone except immediate
family to go to the stable for canapes and drinks and for immediate family to stay here for photos.
Like that was the instruction they wanted me to give in the housekeeping.
I then double checked that with the photographer during the signing
to make sure they were happy with it as well.
And yes, they were.
So for me, again, it's that communication thing.
Yeah, don't force them into taking photos that you should take.
I don't have any issues with the way that is written
because we just shouldn't do that.
It's not about us.
It's about them.
So I'm totally okay with that.
And yeah, this last one, it's really hard.
they don't always photos and it's really nice when they're good enough to let us have some photos or
video. But yes, send them an email later. Also don't send them an email like the day of the wedding
or the day after the wedding. My timeline is at the moment is I send it six weeks after the wedding,
even that's a bit early I think at the moment because a lot of photographers even come back
I can say I'm not quite up to it yet.
So, um, send them an email, you know, eight, 10 weeks later to say,
I'd love to pay you for some photos, um, of the ceremony.
If that's okay for me to use on my social media and be okay with paying.
I think that's okay too. Um, Josh, I,
I am like, um, yes.
So your last sentence in there is if you're like me, a budding photographer,
there's usually no issue with you taking some photos surrounding the wedding for your social blog
and outside of anything the actual photographer is doing, but I'd run it past the couple when
meeting with them ahead of the wedding. I would also probably run it past the photographer
in my pre-ceremony chat. I would go, "By the way, after the ceremony or like around the ceremony,
I'm just letting you know that I'm taking some photos." I think that that's a professional
courtesy to let them know that you're doing that too. So I think to me, to me it's a good list.
It's just there's some softening in the way that it's written. I think is what we,
and I think that's what we've been hearing from the feedback of people feeling upset that we've
put everybody into the same camp, that everyone's doing the same thing and that everyone's doing a
a bad job. We don't think that. And we're really sorry that it's come across that way,
because that's certainly not the way that it was intended.
And can I echo that, that for the for that I am sorry as well. Mine, as I've already
kind of mentioned, but I wasn't addressing all 10,000 odd celebrants or whatever the
the numbers today. Um, uh,
each and every one of you is terrible.
I purposely didn't mention names. If you want to mention names,
I'll be on the list. Didn't mention names. And, um,
and I suppose if I was presented with that list, I would say, Oh, um,
these points apply to me. These points don't cool,
but I do now understand how,
how it can be received in a way that has created the response that I've received.
And I think that it's also important.
We are not, we're not saying we're sorry that you read it wrong.
We're not saying that.
We're not saying that at all.
We're legitimately putting our hand on our hearts and saying,
we're really sorry that it came, that it was written in a way
that could be received, not in the way it was intended.
So we're both going to work on doing that better and, um,
and presenting things as not all some, um,
and the, you know, these are some things that you might want to think about.
So that's kind of where I am at.
That's good. I am. I appreciate your, uh, okay.
So as a precursor to this podcast, we had a weird chance and hello,
cause we catch up with friends, but I sort of like leave the, um,
leave the good stuff for the podcast. Cause I, I like, we're not behind the scenes. Um,
you know, colluding against you if, if, if you're a person that has responded negatively
because we, yeah, like I've already said a couple of times, yeah, my, my heart isn't
to, to knock you down or to punch down. Um, a few people mentioned like, uh, so me painting
salivants like this does us no help. I'm like, oh, all those other people aren't reading
this darling, like the couples aren't reading it and yes, it's publicly available.
But my heart really was to talk to sell up and say, Hey, I want us to be
appreciated, valued, revered, you know, kind of reminds me a little bit of that.
Um, the women talk about increasing our price and people outrage and like, Oh no,
I want you to have more money.
But that's another, another podcast for another day.
So, um, Sarah, thank you.
You are welcome.
I hope for everybody out there that's given some more context and some understanding that we
want to do better and we hope that this goes some way towards providing some of that reflection and
thinking about how we can do better. If any of you have specific comments on any of the specific
wording, whether it be wording that's in the article or wording that I've come up with that might be
softer or different, we're really keen to hear them because, you know, that's, to me, that's the
way we get better is by, you know, constructive feedback. And sometimes the feedback needs to be
specific because sometimes it's difficult, especially when this is the way Josh always writes,
it can be difficult for him to go, "Okay, but exactly what was the problem?
And why is it a problem this time and it hasn't been a problem before?"
So, yeah, really, really happy to receive specific feedback if anybody had any.
Yeah, that would be really cool too. Thank you also to everyone who has commented,
to everyone who's reached out to me privately, and I'm sure there's been some people who's
reach out to Josh privately as well. Thank you as well to the people who did find the article
useful. That's cool. All the celebrants are different and everyone's going to take different
writing in different ways as well. So that's another point too. But honestly, we just want
to get better. So any way that we can get better by receiving your comments and your feedback,
waiting for it.
### How to become a wedding celebrant in Australia
How to become a celebrant? It’s easy. You just need to want the best job in the universe, you need to believe that getting and being married is important and awesome, and some public speaking skills wouldn’t go astray.
Here’s our complete guide on how to become a celebrant in Australia.
Before you start studying, filling out forms and paying fees, you need to make sure you want this.
There are more than enough average or poorly-performing celebrants who enter the wedding industry with the boring go-to-market plan of just charging less than everyone else. Trust me, those guys have arrived already and they’re still struggling to pay rent.
What the industry needs is fresh blood who believe that getting married and being married is good. That weddings should be great and that the role of being a celebrant can still grow, develop, innovate and improve.
Celebrancy in the past has been a retirement game, a side hobby, a side hustle. Not anymore. The market is full of vibrant, alive, young and powerful celebrants - if you want to join that cohort then please consider this your welcome. If you’re done with hard work and have no new ideas, consider delivering food for Uber.
If that’s you, if you think you can bring something important, beautiful, meaningful, and new to the wedding industry then we need you more than ever. Get on board!
Are you the right kind of person for celebrancy?
Celebrants need to be a certain kind of personality. Celebrants need to have a warm and welcoming personality along with excellent listening and communication skills. They should have a deep understanding and respect for different cultures and religions. Writing skills will also be highly beneficial as celebrants often write custom ceremonies for their clients.
Additionally, celebrants should be organised and detail-oriented, as there are legal requirements that must be fulfilled. Finally, like any public speaker, they should be confident and comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. If you possess all of these qualities, then you are well-suited to become a successful celebrant.
Check the eligibility requirements, are you eligible?
To become a marriage celebrant, you need to be over 18 years old and you also need to be a fit and proper person. What does that mean? They’re going to run some police checks and make sure you’re an asset to the community, not a douchebag.
You also can’t be in a conflict of interest or benefit to business situation. Examples might include, if you work at a wedding venue, you being a celebrant is a conflict of interest.
A conflict of interest is a situation where your interests or activities would make it difficult for you to fulfil your legal duties and functions as a marriage celebrant in good faith. A benefit to a business is a situation where your registration as a marriage celebrant is likely to result in a benefit to another business you own, control or carry out.
Further, you need to complete the Certificate IV in Celebrancy. It’s just a little course that will cost you a dollarydoos and about 12-18 months of study.
Submit your application to the Commonwealth Attorney-General's Department.
You’ll need to get your certificate of completion of your Certificate IV, your ID details, some more dollarydoos, and patience. It will take about three to six months for your application to be approved by the AGD. Emailing and calling them will not shorten that, welcome to federal government efficiency.
Now you get to choose where to go
When you get that letter letting you know you’ve been approved, you are free to start marketing your new business venture, tell the world, and make your mark on our community. We’re all waiting for you to be amazing!
What would I do if I was starting today? I would do this. Plus I would listen to this podcast episode of the Celebrant Talk Show about the top 10 tips for new celebrants.
### Celebrant, help wedding vendors not hate you
After publishing this article and sharing it on social media, quite a lot of feedback was received. So an introduction has been added to add some context and explanation, and the original article has been edited. The original has been archived here. In addition to these efforts, a podcast episode about this post, including an apology, has been posted.
Introduction
My - Josh's - heart is to change the world through marriage. I believe with all of my heart that good marriages make good families which make good communities, which are the foundations of good cities, which makes a great world. I boldly believe that if we just married well, we could change the entire world for the better. I also believe that how you start something affects the whole thing, so how you start your marriage matters. This brings us to marriage celebrancy. We, celebrants, do the starting bit.
For over fifteen years I've been passionately working towards marriage celebrancy being better. I want couples to be able to choose a passionate, professional celebrant, who believes that it is plain old simply good that they would marry.
I believe that the art of being a great celebrant is one that requires constant development. Even for myself after thousands of ceremonies, I walk away from each one thinking of ways to improve, and then I watch the ceremony video, die inside from the shame, and work towards being better.
I hope that you do as well.
A call to excellence
The wedding industry is so weirdly unique. Every day at work two people who have likely never planned an event of this magnitude before, bring together both of their extended families, their closest friends, and the person they share a cubicle with at work, then they hire a group of creatives who likely haven't all worked together as a team before, and expect an epic event to take place. And it almost always does. But there's something really special expected of every wedding creative, including us, for this to be awesome: we need to work together really well.
For some celebrants, it's time we sat down and had a bit of a chat about how our actions are affecting other wedding creators at weddings. For 15 years now I've been getting feedback from photographers, videographers, planners, and venues, and this list is a culmination of their feedback.
Some celebrants are upsetting other vendors and making it hard for them to do their job. Much like if the photographer cleared their throat and started loudly talking to the guests about how good it is that these two are getting married today while you're in the middle of your ceremony, we're getting in the middle of their work and making it really hard.
TL;DR: Be awesome at your job, only your job, and don't make it hard for other people to do theirs
The photographer/videographer is a professional. They know how to make their work, they don't need your suggestions, and they don't need you to set up shots. The closest I would suggest is that during the signing you would respectfully and politely ask if they have got everything they need.
When you're 'on', that is, when you're doing the stuff, being the celebrant, put your phone away. Don't create content for social media. No photos, no videos, no Reels or TikToks. If an alien spacecraft arrives during the ceremony or if someone falls into a lake, this rule is excepted.
Get out of the way of everyone else doing their work. It's a high-pressure and intense moment when you arrive for the ceremony. When you strut in to make a ceremony everyone else is nearing a deadline, so make way for them to be them. And once guests arrive and the wedding is on, everyone is trying to do the work they were hired for, so stay out of their way and let them be the them they were paid to be.
At the ceremony, you're in charge of the vibe. You're in control of how it feels, so make it feel good. Don't be overbearing, don't be a drill sergeant. Be humble and kind to other vendors. In-kind, be ruthless about making the ceremony feel as good as possible. I'll often liaise with people necessary to move chairs or ceremony location - if possible - to be more in the shade, or more comfortable. An often-forgotten aspect of making a ceremony feel good is having a really good PA system.
I'm personally an advocate for the celebrant standing with the couple for the ceremony, but this is a topic covered elsewhere on this blog. The thing is, when they kiss, GTFO. Get out of the way. Don't be weird about it. Don't run or be awkward, but practice politely and calmly moving left or right of the couple so the creators can make a photo or video of the ceremony without your mug in it.
Learn how to use your PA system, and understand how it works, so that when it doesn't work - and someday it will not work - you can fix it. Don't blame other vendors. The truth is you might have forgotten to recharge the battery, or you positioned the PA system poorly and the radio reception between your microphone and the receiver is struggling.
Share your PA system with the videographer and entertainment, if they want. Learn how to tell the videographer about integrating with your PA system, so they can get clean and good audio from your PA system, and let DJ/entertainment/music playing people play audio through your PA system so you're actually blessing on the day, not a pain in the rear.
Before you start the ceremony, politely let the photographer/videographers know you're about to start. They may need a moment to prepare or set up, and they might even ask for you to push it back a few minutes. For one day all of you, including the planner/co-ordinator, venue staff, and entertainment, have been thrown together into a makeshift team - make it work. In fact, let me take this one step further, learn to be the person who makes this work at every single wedding, so that if your name is brought up amongst vendors - perhaps in a sales meeting they're having with a couple - they can comment on how you're the glue that holds every wedding together. You're the celebrant who just makes it easy for this misfit band of wedding creatives to work together every time you're on the squad. If you're MC'ing the reception, extend the same notice of "things about to happen" to the photo/video team there.
In the interest of the photo/video squad being prepared to shoot the ceremony, if there are any rituals, or perhaps things that aren't run-of-the-mill, let them know just before the ceremony. This could include if the ceremony is a bit longer or shorter than normal.
It's possible the photo/video team will want some help with family and group photos afterwards, but do not assume and announce photos happening unless you've talked to them and asked. Don't force them into taking photos you think they should take.
Photographers and videographers don't owe you photos or videos from the wedding, but many are kind enough to offer them to you. The absolute worst time to ask about this is after the ceremony, and the second worst time is just before the ceremony. Be polite, introduce yourself, ask for their details, and shoot them an email afterwards. If you're like me, a budding photographer, then there's usually no issue with you taking some photos surrounding the wedding for your social/blog, and outside of anything the actual photographer is doing but I'd run it past the couple when meeting with them ahead of the wedding, and the photographers.
The long and the short of it is that regardless of how many good ideas you have, the other creatives there on the day are all desperately trying to create meaningful, important, and good work, and if you are not in a good relationship/friendship with that creative you probably don't have the ability to guide them to a "good shot" even if it is great.
The other side of the coin is that it's highly likely, considering you're not a photographer and in particular, you're not that actual photographer, that your idea of a "good shot" is wildly different to theirs AND the couple's because the couple hired them to be the photographer, not you.
Feature image created by Midjourney AI.
### Marry From Home - is it legal for Australian couples?
Stephanie celebrant asks:
I think many of us have seen and have been contacted by "Marry From Home", who are Advertising "Legal" online Weddings from anywhere in the world!? As Zoom weddings are not permitted in Australia and the company is based in the USA, would couples based in Australia still be considered married if they married over Zoom on a USA website?
I remember getting an email from this mob myself, although I'm pretty sure I took a cursory look at it then deleted it straight away. But given I've been asked, I took a bit more of a look :)
My understanding is that in a word, the answre to Stephanie's question is yes, these marriages would be considered valid if an Australian couple were to take part in one. It would be the same as if they flew to America and got married on the ground there. As long as the marriage would otherwise be valid in Australia (the couple are of marriageable age, not in a prohibited relationship, not married to someone else, and consenting), and the marriage is conducted appropriately under the other country's laws, a marriage conducted overseas is recognised by the Australian Government as a valid marriage. (Remember, overseas marriages can't be registered in Australia so the couples can't get an Australian marriage certificate, but for all intents and purposes they are recognised as married.)
So as far as I can see, these online marriages would be deemed valid in Australia.
Australian celebrants can't conduct these marriages, only people registered to conduct marriages in the applicable US states.
Why an Australian-based couple would want to undertake this type of marriage, and why the company thinks contacting Australian marriage celebrants is of any use to them, are questions I cannot answer :)
### It's time to update and modernise the Marriage Act of 1961
As of June 12 2024 remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms is now law and you can visit this page for an update.
Over sixty years ago the Australian people were gifted one of the most progressive and liberating pieces of marriage legislation the world had seen. Anyone could marry, regardless of skin colour, place of birth, legal status, as long as you were 18 or over, not already married, not directly related, and could give one month's notice - the law at the time assumed only one of you were a boy and the other was a girl. You had to say a handful of words in front of a celebrant - a regular member of the public deemed fit and proper to conduct marriage ceremonies, or a religious minister - and you were married.
Unlike other jurisdictions around the world where the laws and regulations changed from county to county, or even if they were federalised you needed to meet certain standards.
Even in Australia before 1961 different states had racist, sexist, and bigoted laws prohibiting marriage without permission for different members of Australian society.
But it's been sixty years.
Apart from when the Howard government clarified that people of the same gender couldn't marry in 2004, in 2013 the Australian Capital Territory same-sex marriage legislation was fought in court and solidified that marriage was not an issue for the states (or territories) and it also wasn't a constitutional thing, and in 2017 when marriage equality came to be, the Marriage Act of 1961 hasn't changed a whole lot. Of course there's the 2002 proper recognition of celebrants, but the marriage legislation isn't about us, it's about people wanting to marry inside the boundaries of the greatest nation on earth, the great land down under, Australia.
So what do we think should change?
the length of the notice period (personally, I like three days like New Zealand)
simplification of the paperwork required (what is back of a PDF?)
modernisation of the definition of prohibited relationships, taking into account what we know today about procreation with relatives (you know you can marry your dad's twin brother right?)
civil vows to meet the standard of religious vows
handing the Form 15 to the couple after the ceremony
remote witnessing of the notice of intended marriage (as is currently allowed due to special COVID-19 laws)
modernising of the signing of paperwork (you can buy a house mortgage with a Docusign)
The act isn't bad, it's just a bit crusty and a bit dusty, in need of some attention and love.
In a world facing significant change, from artificial intelligence to global boundaries shifting and changing, and relationships today being different from the sixties, how can we modernise the Marriage Act to prepare for the future, not react to it?
What else should be on the list? Get into the comments below and post, what should be updated, modernised, and changed in Australia's marriage law to set it on a good path for generations to come.
We'll take your comments, and those of the other celebrant associations and networks and put a submission together that we can all send to our local members of parliament with a unified voice.
We've created a shareable website for all celebrants to use as a resource and to share around the wedding industry. Please visit and share: www.marriageact.plus.
### How to become a celebrant
How many times do we all hear it from a friend, a wedding industry colleague, or someone at a wedding, that they think they'd make a great celebrant and they want more information on it. After being asked the question a thousand times ourselves, Sarah and I developed this easy and helpful resource you can give to anyone www.becomeacelebrant.au
The next time you're asked how to become a celebrant, send them to becomeacelebrant.au and we've outlawed the eight steps they need to undertake to get the best job in the world.
### I didn't have a backup! Happy World Backup Day
As a wedding celebrant, you know better than anyone else how important it is to be prepared for the unexpected. From weather conditions to late vendors, to a family member showing up late, there's always something that can throw a wrench into even the most carefully planned wedding day. And just like you prepare for these potential issues, it's also important to prepare for the worst-case scenario when it comes to your digital assets.
Recently, as you would have heard in the podcast episode, I fried my laptop - and the worse thing is that I didn't have a backup for 10 days! Luckily for me, I store most things in the cloud, but all of my current "working files" on my desktop and downloads folder were gone.
This is why I want to bring your attention to World Backup Day, which is celebrated on March 31st every year. The purpose of this day is to raise awareness about the importance of regularly backing up your data to prevent the loss of important files and documents.
When it comes to wedding celebrants, backing up your digital assets is especially important. From client contracts, and notices of intended marriage, to wedding ceremony scripts, you likely have a lot of important information stored on your computer, phone, or tablet. If you were to lose this data due to a computer crash, theft, or any other unexpected event, it could be catastrophic for your business and your clients.
Here are some tips to help you celebrate World Backup Day and protect your digital assets:
Make a backup plan - Decide on a backup schedule and stick to it. You can choose to back up your data daily, weekly, or monthly, depending on your needs. There are many backup services available that can automate this process for you, such as Backblaze. Backblaze is the best $7 a month I spend, it just automatically, quietly, behind the scenes backs everything up to the cloud. Dropbox, Google Drive, OneDrive, Box are not backups, they are sync services.
Use multiple backup devices - Don't rely on just one backup method. Use a combination of external hard drives, cloud storage, and USB drives to ensure that you have multiple copies of your data. I use Backblaze, it's available for Windows and Mac, plus I also use the built-in Apple MacOS Time Machine service. Time Machine requires you to have a hard drive plugged in and for 10 days I'd avoided the reminders ... I was busy. Time Machine is a really impressive service. You can restore to previous versions of a file if you mess up, but you can also use the Time Machine drive to completely restore your Mac to a new Mac if you lose or fry a machine. As for Windows users, use the built-in Windows Backup software.
Test your backups - Regularly test your backups to make sure that they are working properly. This will ensure that you can quickly restore your data in case of an emergency. For BackBlaze log on to the website or the mobile app and see if your files are there. In Time Machine you can actually access it and go back in time at any time, it's actually amazing.
Keep backups off-site - Store your backups in a secure off-site location, such as a safe deposit box or a trusted friend or family member's house. This will protect your backups from theft, fire, or other natural disasters. Every month make a hard drive backup and take it to a different location. This is a last resort in case everything is stolen from your office, or if the building is damaged in a natural disaster.
Encrypt your backups - To protect your data from prying eyes, encrypt your backups with a strong password. When you use encryption it means the backup can't be used against you by hackers.
Remember, backing up your digital assets is not a one-time event. It's an ongoing process that requires regular attention and maintenance. Celebrate World Backup Day by taking the time to review your backup plan and ensure that your data is protected.
By following these tips, you can ensure that you are always prepared for the unexpected and can continue to provide excellent service to your clients.
Happy World Backup Day!
### Chat and AI is going to change your entire business
My family was never intellectually positioned enough, or wealthy enough, to subscribe to a newspaper for regular delivery to the home. So, visiting my mate Andrew's house was a joy because his dad subscribed to the Daily Mercury. I loved the idea of this bundle of paper being dropped on your doorstep every day with stories, classifieds, and information. Here in 2023 we now know that newspapers were disrupted, which is sad, but also the disrupters have brought innovation and efficiency. Ever since we've had ideas on how to do things there has always been a new idea on the way, a fresh way of solving the problem always coming down the river stream.
So over the past few years, you've probably gotten pretty used to ranking well on Google, making good social media content, and all those things we've gotten used to in order to run a sustainable and awesome celebrancy practice. Those ways of doing things are being disrupted.
There are four points that you should take away from this article.
The power of the first-mover
Social media is both broadening and shrinking. Broadening into wider broadcast-style models like we used to know as TV and radio, and shrinking into smaller group chats like Wavelength or even iMessage/WhatsApp/Telegram/Signal groups.
Generative AI is a new tool for you to use to do your work.
AI chat is going to replace the traditional search engine.
I asked ChatGPT what Australian wedding celebrants should know about AI and large language models and it replied with:
AI refers to the ability of machines to perform tasks that typically require human intelligence, such as language understanding, decision-making, and problem-solving. ChatGPT, on the other hand, is an AI language model developed by OpenAI, which can understand and generate human-like text in response to prompts.
AI chat refers to the use of AI technology to automate and enhance customer service interactions through chatbots. AI chatbots can help businesses provide instant and personalized responses to customer inquiries, improve customer engagement, and reduce the workload on customer service teams.
However, it's important to note that AI chatbots cannot replace the human touch and personal connection that wedding celebrants provide. While AI technology can enhance the wedding celebrant business in many ways, it's essential to maintain a balance between technology and human interaction.
I then went on to the New Bing and asked it the same:
AI is artificial intelligence, which is the simulation of human intelligence processes by machines. ChatGPT is a conversational AI system that can generate natural and engaging responses based on user input. AI chat is a general term for any chat service that uses AI to communicate with users.
As a wedding celebrant in Australia, you may want to know how these technologies can affect your business. Here are some possible ways:
You can use Bing to find useful information and resources for your profession, such as legal requirements, best practices, tips and trends, wedding venues and suppliers, etc.
You can use AI chat to interact with your potential and existing clients, such as answering their questions, booking appointments, sending reminders, collecting feedback, etc.
You can use ChatGPT to create personalised and creative wedding scripts and vows for your clients, based on their preferences and stories.
You can also use ChatGPT to generate marketing content for your website and social media platforms, such as blog posts, testimonials, reviews, etc.
These technologies can help you improve your efficiency, productivity, creativity and customer satisfaction. However, they also have some limitations and challenges, such as:
You need to have reliable internet access and devices to use these technologies.
You need to be aware of the ethical and legal implications of using these technologies, such as data privacy, consent, transparency, accountability, etc.
You need to be able to evaluate the quality and accuracy of the information and content generated by these technologies and make necessary adjustments or corrections if needed.
You need to maintain a balance between human and machine interaction and ensure that you still provide a personal touch and genuine connection with your clients.
Finally, Google's new AI chat system, Bard, said:
Bard, Generative AI, Large Language Models, AI chat, and similar technologies are going to have a significant impact on the wedding celebrant business. Here are some things that celebrants should know:
Bard and other generative AI technologies can be used to create personalized wedding vows, speeches, and other content. This can save celebrants a significant amount of time and effort, and it can also help them to create more unique and memorable experiences for their clients.
Large language models can be used to translate wedding vows and other content into different languages. This can be helpful for celebrants who work with clients from different cultures, and it can also help to make wedding ceremonies more inclusive.
AI chat can be used to answer frequently asked questions about weddings, such as how to get married, what the different types of weddings are, and what the costs are. This can help celebrants to save time and effort, and it can also help them to reach a wider audience of potential clients.
Overall, Bard, Generative AI, Large Language Models, AI chat, and similar technologies are likely to have a positive impact on the wedding celebrant business. They can help celebrants to save time and effort, to create more unique and memorable experiences for their clients, and to reach a wider audience of potential clients.
However, there are also some potential challenges that celebrants should be aware of. For example, these technologies could lead to a decrease in the demand for traditional wedding celebrants. Additionally, there is the potential for these technologies to be used to create fake or misleading content, which could damage the reputation of the wedding celebrant business.
And if artificial intelligence explaining itself to you doesn't help, the New York Times has a week long series on at the moment on becoming an expert in AI. If you got this far and a) really car, and b) are still confused, it's a valuable read.
Talking about the New York Times and artificial intelligence, you might have noticed your author's name and the website's name in a recent article on AI and wedding vows. My "worry" in that interview isn't about the impending AI invasion, but towards the fact that marriage ceremonies, the vows exchanged within, and the speeches shared later, are very very human exercises and the people who are getting ChatGPT to write these pieces are worried about not doing them well, when in my humble opinion the best way to do them is with humanity, honesty, vulnerability and error. But that's a different blog post for a different day.
The power of the first-mover
Wikipedia describes this business strategy well:
The competitive advantage gained by the initial ("first-moving") significant occupant of a market segment. First-mover advantage enables a company or firm to establish strong brand recognition, customer loyalty, and early purchase of resources before other competitors enter the market segment. First movers in a specific industry are almost always followed by competitors that attempt to capitalise on the first movers' success. These followers are also aiming to gain market share; however, most of the time the first-movers will already have an established market share, with a loyal customer base that allows them to maintain their market share.
Being early to a new wave is advantageous. Being cautious is as well, but I've never succeeded in business by being cautious.
Generative AI is a new tool for you to use to do your work
Most of the talk about AI in the last six months has been about generative AI, the act of generating something that was not, using AI.
Two good recent and popular examples of generative AI are when the pope went viral.
A photo of Pope Francis went viral recently dressed like a boss, the problem was that the image was completely made with Midjourney's generative AI. The moment never occurred and it was completely fabricated, aka created, using Midjourney.
And you've probably heard about ChatGPT writing articles, blog posts, replies, and letters.
In this example, I've asked ChatGPT to help me write a letter to convince you to call five wedding celebrants and encourage them to become paid members of the institute so they can read this article.
So how can you use these tools in your business today?
The only limits are your imagination and the current realm of human knowledge and creativity.
That's the blessing and the problem with generative AI, it's only able to create what it already knows. So if you and I both ask it to write an article on the top 10 wedding venues in our area, there's no real value in that, because firstly a couple searching for that will just ask the chat themselves, but also there's no new content in that article. There's nothing created, which is the inherent value we bring to our clients and the community.
So don't use generative AI to finish the work, but to start it. Ask for topic ideas, ask for it to write summaries that you can expand on with your own writing, or how to write letters or messages you might not have the idea to write right now.
Let generative AI start your creativity and inspire you to new heights.
Or use it to write a funny pun about the groom's last name.
Further reading in this Celebrant Institute article on whether AI can write an original wedding ceremony (yes, yes it can) and a wedding reading written by AI, Love is an Adventure.
AI chat is going to replace the traditional search engine
You're probably used to trying to fit your business and your celebrancy practice into the mould which is Google search, Bing search, DuckDuckGo, and Yahoo. Creating content and designing your website so that you end up on the holy grail of the first page of Google, and if you're lucky, in first position.
In the coming year, at least that's my prediction, that search box and the front page of the search engine will be replaced with a chatbot. Bing has New Bing, Google has Bard, Apple has whatever it's going to launch in June, probably a rebrand of Siri.
That experience will look a little bit like this:
How should you respond to this? What changes should you make? We don't know a lot today, it's a brand new world, so I can only tell you how I'm responding.
I'm looking at what sources each chatbot is using, some reveal their sources, some you have to ask in the chat mode, and if there's a way I can influence those sources through existing search engine optimisation techniques or website directory listings, then I'm doing that. Most celebrants aren't taking advantage of all the directories and SEO opportunities made available to us. For example, our own celebrant directory, celebrant.xyz, is available for all members but even those that have taken a listing, haven't taken advantage of all the SEO benefits yet.
Your work is to figure out how the chatbots know what they know, then either influence that or be listed and featured in the places they are sourcing their information from.
Look for signals in the different chatbots, or just plain out ask them.
I for one would be making sure my Yelp, Google Business, Bing Places, Google Search Console, Apple Business Connect, and Bing Webmaster Tools listings were all up today with the correct website addresses, descriptions, branding, logos etc.
Social media is both broadening and shrinking
Unrelated, yet also kind of related, to the introduction of AI into our digital world, the social media world is changing as well, I'm witnessing this in two directions. Related because AI, large language models and machine learning is driving this in both directions, a direction where we're ok with it, and a direction where we'd like some humanity.
Broadening
New trends like TikTok and Reels and other algorithmically created feeds are a broadening of the social media platform. You're not as likely to see the people you follow, and indeed the concept of following or adding people may well end or dissolve. But instead there's a broad and wide sense of the media available. It reminds me of the first time I overused cable television in the USA. So many channels! so much content, so many stories, so much stuff.
Success here is in creating content that will engage people and signal to algorithms that it's good content and people might like it. Things that can be shared for lolz, or commented on, or shared out of anger or other feelings will go well.
Shrinking
The other side of things is a shrinking of the social media platforms. The easiest place to see this is the rise of the group chat. I'm guessing most of us are in at least one group chat, expect that number to rise. People are growing weary of the influence and the power of big tech platforms like Facebook, Meta, Instagram, Twitter etc, and moving to smaller groups of conversation. Personal conversations, niche conversations, and private conversations.
A platform that has been rising over the last six months that caters really well to this space is Wavelength. It's a very simple and beautifully clear app that hosts group chats. You can read more about it in John Gruber's review, but I can see our couples moving more into group chats. Local wedding Facebook groups will disappear - which is such a pity lol - but they'll move into Wavelength group chats, or Telegram channels, or even Instagram Channels.
That's a lot there to take in, come back to this article a few times over, take a deep breath, set out a list of things you need to update, change, write, or do, and take the lead with the first mover advantage. All the other wedding suppliers in your market aren't reading this article.
One thing AI can't do (today at least) is come up with a brand new, completely fresh idea. Your brain, personality, heart, and your passions are your core strength. Leverage them, sell them, market them, know them.
### Love is patient, as should you business be
I was thinking about 1 Corinthians 13:4 to me recently. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." If you're a wedding celebrant you've probably heard it a thousand times before. A speaker I know once said, "Love is patient, lust is not." Think about this concept not in regards to a marriage or relationships, but business.
We build our businesses on a love of the craft, the product, the thing we do. It's near impossible to start a wedding business today without a spark of fire in your heart, without that deep love for the art in your soul. And that love is patient. Business lust however is not patient. Lust is impatient, rushed, and without thought or wisdom.
I've been meditating on this all day and wanted to share it with you, my celebrant colleagues. Are you holding on to that love and its patience? Is it your guiding light, your North Star in your business decisions?
Or is lust driving your spend and your marketing? Is an impatient business lust behind your decisions?
Rediscover that love of the art of celebrancy today and let it drive all of your practice. Put that lust in the bin.
### My couple are breaking up, can I just not register their marriage?
Marie asks:
I married a couple last night and when I got home registered the marriage and ordered their marriage certificate. This morning I woke up to a string of texts from the bride to not register the marriage and that she no longer wants to be married to him. What do I do? Or what do they do?
The good news for any celebrant placed in this position is that it's an easy reply: regardless of submitting the marriage paperwork to the Registry of Births, Deaths, and Marriages, at the time the couple exchanged vows in the marriage ceremony, according to Australian law they are married.
So if the earth opened up in some kind of post-apocalyptic scene and the ceremony was swallowed whole, the couple died a married couple. If the paperwork was lost, or if the celebrant forgot to register it, or if their car was stolen while they stopped for Mcdonald's on the way home from the wedding and the paperwork was inside, the couple are still married.
So if they had a big fight at the wedding reception and they no longer wish to be married, they need to speak to someone who knows about family law, and luckily for most celebrants, that's not us.
If you are a celebrant who is placed in this position, and you are asked to not submit the paperwork and you in fact have not submitted the paperwork yet, to not submit the paperwork would have severe consequences under Australian law, and would likely put you in jail or similar.
My best advice would be to let the couple know that one of the joys of marriage is getting to know your spouse on an even deeper level than you already thought you knew them, so consider themselves blessed to have gotten so intimate in the first 24 hours of their nuptials!
### Email is the worst
A terribly poor recording of the Celebrant Talk Show with Josh and Sarah this week, Josh's laptop got drunk.
Topics on this episode include:
Does ageism exist in celebrancy?
Being a celebrant with a disability
Email systems and we're changing them and email is hell
Changing the Marriage Act of 1961, Josh's 2023 project.
### 16 Growth ideas for wedding celebrants
A celebrant friend was complaining to me recently about the market, we've all had the same conversation, either us being whined at, or us doing the whining. The truth is that we are not owed our next enquiry or booking, we need to work for it. So here's some ideas on how to work for it how to grow your business. Take any of these ideas and deploy in an authentic and meaningful way for you:
Convince an important (niche) influencer to mention you (e.g. Tinder, Twitter, Clubhouse)
Do something controversial to get people talking about you
Buy a billboard. They can be weirdly cheap in some areas. Be very authentic and attention-0grabbing on the billboard.
Release a shareable, and very helpful product, like a book, or a guide, or even something completely new.
Publish a piece of viral content.
Get a popular newsletter or podcast to cover you or interview you.
Expand to an additional location and if there's a travel cost, include that in your fee. So not $1000 plus travel, but $1500 total, or whatever numbers work for you.
Share something remarkable about your product or business online.
Organise a high-profile event for couples or even for industry. Get it covered by media.
Launch on a new platform, like BeReal, TikTok, LinkedIn, Mastodon, Medium, YouTube.
Orchestrate a PR stunt.
Create a viral and (actually) funny video.
Ask, get, convince your clients and friends with the most followers to all post an announcement about one of these things above on social media at once.
Run an ad on a large podcast, TV show, or radio show. Again, they can be quite cheap.
Run a killer contest or giveaway. Not a "win a free wedding" but giveaway $1000, or an actual thing that costs you something. Get some skin in the game.
Create a limited-time deal. Only available for a certain time, and it's an actual good deal, not some 10% off thing.
### Five phrases you should use in your sales pitch
I read an article on CNBC about five phrases you should use when you're interviewing for a new job, and it led me down the path that every time we meet with a new couple we're literally interviewing for the job. Here's my take on CNBC's five job-winning phrases with five phrases you can use in wedding sales meetings to win that wedding booking.
1. “In the past, I’ve couples/guests/vendors have noted that [X thing] was better at the wedding, thanks to my [Y skill].”
You’re showing that your skill level is so high, the people you work with or work for also benefit from it.
Example: Don’t say: “I’m an excellent [blah blah].” What to say instead: “In the past, I’ve been noticed for [go into detail about how you brought value to a couples or a venue, or a vendor, or a wedding guest]”.
2. “In a review, the couple pointed out that I am particularly good at [X skill].”
Take note of Facebook, Google and email reviews, and comments from couples and guests at weddings and bring these reviews back into conversation with couples you are interviewing with.
Example: Don’t say: “I am an authorised marriage celebrant.” Instead say, “In [mention the wedding detail and the couple's name] review, the couple pointed out how impressed hey were by my ability to [detail what the review said].”
3. “Other wedding vendors always comment on my ability to do [X thing], thanks to my [Y skill].”
This demonstrates that you are so skilled at something, it became a general sentiment about you. Telling a story of a time a wedding creator leaned on you can help seal the deal.
Example: Don’t say: “I’m good in a crisis.” What to say instead: “Wedding vendors/creators would always comment on my ability to put together an effective crisis response plan because I know how to stay calm and focused. At a wedding [situation arose, describe the situation]. If this situation wasn't resolved [such and such would happen]. I was the first person they called, and we came up with a plan that eased everyone's concerns.”
4. “I am known for improving the vibe of weddings, thanks to my [X skill].
Smart couples know that a wedding isn't just an event, it's a family and friends gathering with different personalities all in the same room. As the celebrant, you have the power to harness that diversity and create a vibe, a feeling, a mood, an atmosphere that is ripe for celebration.
Example: Instead of saying, “People feel comfortable around me”, say instead, “I’ve developed a reputation of being a great celebrant, thanks to my amazing public speaking skills.”
5. “I often work with [X] and [Y] vendors, it's great that you've booked them for you wedding!”
Weddings are a team sport and working closely, intimately, and really well with other vendors in a way that positively affects weddings is a powerful attribute.
### I got scammed, and it'll happen to you!
Me, Josh Withers, the guy telling everyone to get better computer security, to change their passwords, and basically instilling the fear of god into celebrants that they will probably get hacked one day soon, that guy fell victim to a scam.
It was about 4pm in the afternoon here in Mexico and I had just emptied my inbox, a noble task in 2023, and the email came in. The email that scares me the most: my main domain name's renewal had failed due a credit card issue. The last thing I want is for our business's website and email to fail because the domain name renewal failed.
The email looked like it came from VentraIP, the domain name and website host where most of my domain names are hosted, and it looked like every other VentraIP email.
I clicked the link and it opened in Safari on my iPhone, and that webpage looked like every other VentraIP invoice page I'd ever visited. I entered my American Express details from 1Password, and it failed. I entered my VISA details from 1Password, it failed.
Then I looked at the URL bar and immediately regret, shame, and embarrassment rained down over me. I had fallen victim to a phishing scam.
Phishing is when scammers go "fishing" for idiots like me via faked emails.
If I had noticed these three things I could have saved myself all this shame:
The name of the sender of the email. It was VentralP, with a weird character that looks like an I but isn't an I. Immediate giveaway to someone not in a rush.
The email address the email was actually sent from. mail@apartmentbardolino.eu is clearly not the email address VentraIP uses to email its clients.
The domain name of the website the link took me to. gruppometodoercole.com is noticeably and undeniably different from ventraip.com.au
This was easily the stupidest thing I've fallen victim to in a long time and it happened because I was rushing and I thought it was important.
Luckily both of those cards are very easily locked via their respective bank apps, so if anyone tries to transact with the details I just handed over to the scammers, they can't. I'm now just trying to figure out how to tell the banks that I screwed up and I need new cards while my aunty just sent a package from Hobart to Todos Santos, where we are in Mexico, and it took over three months.
I wonder which Aussie bank can get me a new card quicker than that?
As Abe Simpson said, it'll happen to you!
### The difference between religious ministers and civil celebrants
Karen asks:
What are the differences/similarities, restrictions and allowances between a celebrant-led wedding and a church wedding, that is, by an ordained minister. I have noticed a lot of confusion and even ignorance about what can and can't be done when the question of faith is raised. Can a celebrant read a biblical text, what constitutes a church and why can't all ministers perform weddings? I am a civil celebrant who came from a faith background and I know, there are many others as well.
In Australia, civil celebrants and religious ministers are authorised to marry people according to the law in different manners.
A good starting point is that the Marriage Act of 1961 calls all the people who marry people, celebrants. Part five of the act is about the solemnisation of marriages in Australia, solemnise pretty meaning "perform" or "do" a formal ceremony. People who have been authorised by the law to marry people according to the law are called authorised celebrants in division one of part five.
The law then separates us all into four categories, enumerated in the letters A, B, C, and D.
Subdivision A celebrants: Ministers of religion
Basically, each state or territory maintains a list of recognised religions, and each of those religions appoints ministers according to their own way of doing things, the law just asks that the minister is 21 or over, and is ordinarily a resident of Australia. So you can't just decide to be a minister of religion, it happens within the confines of recognised religions and they have a way of deciding who is a minister according to their own doctrine and policies.
There had been rumours that ministers of religion could not perform marriages outside of the state they are registered in, for example, a Surfers Paradise-based minister could not perform marriage ceremonies in Byron Bay, but section 32 of the Marriage Act clears this up, saying "a minister of religion who is registered under this Subdivision in any register may solemnise marriages at any place in Australia."
There are many fine and dandy churches in Australia that are not recognised religions, I guess, and those ministers are not afforded the right to perform marriages, so they have to become subdivision C or D celebrants.
What ministers of religion can or can't do is mostly regulated by their denomination or religion, not by the government.
Subdivision A celebrants also do not have to say the monitum (the "Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of 2 people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life" bit) nor do they have to hear the couple say their vows as a Subdivision C celebrant would [I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband, or spouse)].
They can pretty much do whatever they like in their ceremony as long as their denomination or church approves of it, and the law does as well. They need to complete the same marriage paperwork other celebrants do and still require the notice to be given like everyone else.
Subdivision B celebrants: State and Territory officers
These celebrants are appointed by the state or territory's Births, Deaths, and Marriages department usually. They are employees of the government and don't have the authority to perform marriages outside of that employment.
Think of a regular celebrant but they work for the government so they have to leave their personality and sense of humour in their carpark.
Subdivision C celebrants: Marriage celebrants
This is the type of celebrant most of Australia thinks of when they think of the word celebrant. They are held to a higher standard than the Subdivision A and B celebrants, having to gain a Certificate IV in Celebrancy qualification and then also complete ongoing professional development every year. They also need to pay an application fee and an annual registration fee, along with being a fit and proper person to be a celebrant.
Subdivision C celebrants are also mostly free to run the type of wedding business they would like to run, charge what they can and would like to charge, and say what they want in the ceremony, as long as the monitum and legal vows occur.
Subdivision D celebrants: Religious marriage celebrants
Subdivision D was newly formed when marriage equality became law in December 2017 and has two parts to it:
ministers of religion of non-recognised denominations (who were previously lumped in with Subdivision C celebrants), and
already registered Subdivision C civil celebrants who, for three months after marriage equality becoming law, put up their hand and said they had a religious objection to marriage equality and would like to have the legal right to discriminate against not marry such couples.
You can still join Subdivision D if you're a minister of religion of a non-recognised denomination, but just like Subdivision C celebrants (and as has always been the case with ministers of religion of non-recognised denominations), you'll need to complete a Cert IV in Celebrancy and pay a registration fee. You'll also need to say the Monitum in your ceremonies, but your couples can say whatever form of ceremony (vows) your religion has approved.
If you want to be a civil celebrant who does not perform marriage equality weddings today, you can't. Your only option is to become a Subdivision C celebrant and hope no marriage equality couples ask you to marry them.
Who can read scripture at a wedding?
If the wedding ceremony is being led by a marriage celebrant, then anyone can read whatever they like, pray how they like, and perform rituals that they like, as long as we're all fine and dandy in the realm of the law, decency, and ethics. Reading from the bible is much like reading from any book or literature at a wedding, and the permissions allowed there. For example, if you wanted to read from the NIV, NiRV or AMP Bibles, the copyright owner, Zondervan, says it's all good as long as you don't read the whole thing from start to finish which would be a really long ceremony.
At a ceremony being held in a church, or being led by a minister of religion, you're subject to their rules and ways, and each one is different so you'd need to ask them.
### Creating a marriage ceremony versus re-creating a marriage ceremony
I recently read Will Anderson's "written during covid" book I Am Not Fine, Thanks, and his thoughts on creating versus re-creating really captured my mind and has occupied it for the past few weeks (emphasis mine):
I once asked the former Australian cricket captain Steve Waugh what it was like to face the West Indian bowlers. How did you make the decision what shot to play when a ball was coming at your face at 160 kilometres per hour? He told me that you didn’t have time to decide. You just needed to train as well as you could, and then, when you were out there, trust your instincts that you will play the right shot. Try to get out of your own head and out of your own way. That is the approach I like to take with my stand-up. Part of the reason I normally like to keep my show a bit loose is that I have a theory that there are two distinct states of stand-up comedy: creation and re-creation.
Creation is coming up with the idea, the joke, the wording, the first time you say it on stage, the first time you get a laugh. Creation has an energy all of its own and it’s always been my favourite part of the process.
Re-creation, on the other hand, is when the jokes have been tested and you are trying to say it in a way that has worked most often, to re-create a night or moment when it worked well. I often say to people that if you want to see what I thought my show was going to be, you have to come on the first night. After that the show becomes what the audience and I agree it is. Re-creation is an important part of the process, but it has never been my favourite part, and I think—as well as lack of talent—it is the main reason I have never enjoyed acting.
I'm with Wil. Creation is my favourite muscle to flex and re-creation is my least favourite. It's exactly why I was terrible on-stage at Esperance's Bijou Theatre in their production of A Christmas Story back in 2010 and why I love listening to, and creating, conversational podcasts, not these well-scripted and well-produced podcasts.
And it's what lead me to post this over the weekend.
Creating a ceremony
When I talk about being unscripted in a ceremony, people often misread that as the oral version of just shooting from the hip, seeing where the bullets lie. The truth is, I'm more likely to be more prepared, more nervous, more excited, and more rehearsed than the average celebrant.
I really, really, really, trust me, really value the art of ceremony. So much so that I believe that a script can actually hinder the beauty of it.
It's not even really about the script, or the paper, or the iPad or kindle. It's about being so engulfed in the value and the beauty of the ceremony that any words prepared before now would not be enough.
I think about my first trip to Iceland for a wedding in 2016. We had a spare day so we went adventuring. I'd been researching Iceland for a year, and a photographer friend of mine had shared some spots we should check out, but behind the wheel I was unscripted. I was in creation mode, not re-creation.
I suddenly see a small sign a few inches off the ground with the word "Háifoss" written on it by hand. I knew that Háifoss was one of the tallest waterfalls in Iceland and I wanted to see it. The road looked rough but we gave it a shot (and punctured the sump on the way). At the end of the goat track of a road was the most amazing waterfall I've ever seen.
Off script, off plan, ready to respond to the moment because I'm completely in the moment, we found Háifoss.
Photo of Britt and I at Háifoss
Photo by Ben Karpinski. I was so enamoured by the view I didn't actually get a good photo of the Haifoss waterfall.
You could have easily experience Haifoss by planning the trip and re-creating the adventure. But the joy we had by following our nose and exploring random roads and being present in the moment was so much more fun than being on a bus with a bunch of tourists.
Creating a ceremony live in front of an audience and a couple who have hired you to be their celebrant might not be for you, but if you could experience it just once I think you'd never come back.
Re-creating a ceremony
Actors are clearly a thing. The movie and television industries are evidence as such, but actors are re-creating scenes written by writers and directed by directors. There's still a beautiful and important art in being an actor, being a re-creator, but it's not a skill that I enjoy or employ.
You might be an amazing re-creator, I hope you are. But even so, do you notice that when Tom Cruise is acting he's not reading from an iPad.
He's prepared and rehearsed.
Call me crazy, and please do so in the comments, but maybe some of the best moments in a ceremony occur when we don't have a Kindle in our hands?
Start with an elopement
I recently saw a photographer of a skilled, talented, and expensive celebrant colleague of mine reading a ceremony from an electronic device to a couple who were eloping. No guests, the photographers were the witnesses. The couple know how they got together, they don't need to be re-told. This is the most raw and most intimate moment and there's the blue glow of a screen in the celebrant's face in the ceremony.
Maybe we could start moving from re-creating to creating in our elopement ceremonies.
Or maybe I'm crazy and the thousands of people I've married and who have loved what I have made for them from Iceland to Ipswich, from New York to Newcastle, are wrong.
Seriously though, please roast me in the comments. I'd be an idiot to be so passionate about something if not to enter the conversation with you.
### Change your passwords
Depending on who you talk to, International Change Your Password Day is January 20 or February 1. Either way, in Australia we've missed both those dates, and because I'm writing this in Mexico I just saw the tweet from Fastmail reminding me.
Regardless of the "national date" consider this your reminder to change all of the important passwords in your world. In my humble opinion, all of the important passwords in your life should be changed annually. Because
it encourages you to check the security of your most important services every year,
it reminds you that the only good password is a unique password,
if a password has been leaked by either you giving it to someone, or through a hack, it effectively takes that password out of distribution and increases your personal security.
What is a unique password?
A unique (and good) password is really simply a password you're not using elsewhere.
So if your Facebook password is kiwifruit, then your Instagram password is not kiwifruit, nor is it KiwiFru!t, or even kiwifruit1.
If you had unique passwords for Facebook and Instagram, then your Facebook password might be kiwifruit and your Instagram password might be cairns. Not at all related. Not with changing numbers at the end, or your little "I'll outsmart the hackers with my own algorithm" like using kiwifruit2023 if you set the password in 2023. A unique password is unlike your other passwords.
And the best password is a unique password.
What makes a good password?
A good password is as long as it can be, and as unique as it can be. Unique doesn't have to mean something like GCTkgmRrDDf@Ebhnwb9E.G, as unique as that is, but it might be something a little more human like treefarmbaggage. Picking out three random things I can see or think of is one of my favourite ways of generating a password because a hacker might know all of our personal and family details, but they don't know three random words you just thought up, but it also keeps the password memorable or repeatable over the phone when your partner needs to access the thing secured by that password.
Then of course you need to take into account each service's password policy. A password policy is the bit where they say things like
minimum of eight character
maximum of 16 characters
must contain a number
must contain an upper-case letter
must contain a unique symbol like $%^&*@.
These password policies are a corporation's way of trying to implement stronger passwords when the user hasn't read an article like this. Unfortunately, you need to just go along with these policies and sometimes you'll need to make your unique password even more unique by changing treefarmbaggage to Tree-f@rm-baggag3.
What services are important enough to change regularly?
I'll show you my list, but yours might be different. This list represents all the ways people could steal my identity, pretend to be me, access my client files, or access my finances.
Fastmail (where my email is hosted)
Squarespace (where my business website is hosted)
Porkbun (where half my domain names are hosted)
VentraIP (where the other half of my domain names are hosted)
Cloudflare (where my domain name service is hosted)
Facebook (people can pretend to be me if they access this)
Instagram (people can pretend to be me if they access this)
LinkedIn (people can pretend to be me if they access this)
Micro.Blog (people can pretend to be me if they access this)
Twitter (people can pretend to be me if they access this)
Apple ID (access to all my Apple devices, access to my "log in with Apple" accounts, and iCloud storage and photos)
Microsoft (access to some cloud services)
Dropbox (access to work and client files)
Stripe (where we receive payments)
ANZ (where my business finances are)
Up Bank (where my personal finances are)
Xero (where our bookkeeping is)
Pearler (where my investments are)
Paypal (sometimes payments are made here)
Mastodon (people can pretend to be me if they access this)
The Births Deaths and Marriages online (where my client details are)
The AGD marriage celebrants portal (this is important for my registration)
Telstra account (very easy to pretend to be me if you have my phone number)
Google (this account is the least important of my important accounts, but it's a thing)
If a hacker gained access to one of these accounts I'd be upset. If a hacker gained access to my Yahoo account, meh they can keep it. If they gained access to my Reddit account, so be it. But these ones I've identified as important to me and I make sure of three things:
The password is changed annually to a new an unique password
If the service has two-factor authentication available I turn it on and enable it, and if possible I use the "Time-Based One Time Password" or TOTP or in layman's terms "authenticator app". Using the SMS authentication might seem nice but your SIM card can get stolen, hacked, or intercepted.
Finally, if it's a service that other services connect to, like Facebook, I check which apps and websites are authorised to access my account and I remove or delete any I don't use or need any more, and especially any I don't recognise.
Changing the password
To change the password simply open the website for each one and navigate yourself towards a settings or preferences menu where you can edit either account settings, or password settings, or authentication settings, maybe even security settings. You'll need to know your old password, and then of course enter your old password. Some services might need to confirm via email.
You might also find that some services, like the Celebrant Institute you're reading right now, don't actually use passwords. It's because we don't want to be responsible for holding that information from you. If we don't know your password it can't be stolen from us. This is the same reason we use Stripe for financial transactions here. If we don't know your credit card, it can't be stolen from us. Also, when your credit card expires, please stop emailing us your details, just log on and change it in your account settings ;)
How do I remember all these unique passwords?
This is the big problem people come across.
If my Facebook password is kiwifruit and my Instagram password is now cairns, that's ok, I can remember two passwords. But the human brain has fail points. Even I, Father of the Year three years running now, sometimes call my eldest daughter her little sisters' name and vice-versa. If only we could devise a system to help manage all these passwords.
1. Writing them down on paper or in a book
This sounds like a great idea, but someone can just break into your house and steal your book. Or far more likely, you lose the book.
2. Sticky notes on your computer monitor screen
This is also a great idea, after all, they're right there where you need them. Unless you need them when you're out of the office or house. Also when you take a photo at your desk, make sure you get the sticky notes in the photo so everyone who sees the photo now also knows the password to your internet banking.
3. Keeping them in a spreadsheet or a word document
Now we're getting somewhere. Keeping them in a document on your computer is great, but it can get messy especially if you have lots of logins.
4. Keep them in a software password manager - the winner!
A password manager application is designed for this exact purpose. The two I recommend are Apple's Keychain because it's free and built-in to every Apple device, or if you don't use Apple hardware, or if you want a little bit more freedom and flexibility as I do, use 1Password. You can choose any password manager you like, do your own research because, in the end, you're choosing a security guard to guard your security guards and I want you to make that choice on your own. I'm not going to even link out to 1Password who I use because it's important to me that you know how to secure yourself.
Managing your own digital and computer security isn't hard, and it isn't the work of a nerd or a computer technician. This is work you should know how to do, and if you don't know how to do it, then take it upon yourself to learn. It's like if you don't know how to use a deadbolt on a new house you've just moved in to, you don't just leave it open with a sign saying "All intruders welcome!" You learn how to secure your house, and you need to do the same for your own digital house.
Welcome to International Change Your Password Day, I hope it brings you great change!
### 16 Ways a celebrant can end up in jail for six months
Sarah and I have been reviewing the Guidelines to the Marriage Act and one chapter caught my eye and I thought maybe you didn't know how many things you could do that would end you up in jail for at least six months, or with "five penalty units" whatever they are.
You can find it all detailed heavily in the actual Marriage Act of 1961, but here's the list of things a celebrant can do that could end them up in jail:
marriage of a minor without the proper consents or dispensations
if you've been removed from the register of celebrants
notice of intended marriage not received as properly required (before one month before the wedding and no longer than 18 months before)
evidence of place and date of birth of both parties not sighted
if the declaration of no legal impediment hasn't been signed before the marriage ceremony
if the people in the ceremony aren't the ones who gave notice
if the celebrant thinks the info on the NOIM, or the declaration or any other stat dec is wrong
if any of the parties to the marriage have a deceased spouse and you haven't sighted that death certificate
if there are not two people witnessing the ceremony
if the parties to the marriage can't speak English and there's not an interpreter there
if you make out like you're marrying a couple who are already married to each other
if you say you're a celebrant but you're not a Commonwealth-authorised marriage celebrant, even if you're about to become one, or you've previously been one
if you don't explain the nature of the marriage relationship
if you coerce, threaten or deceive one or both of the parties to the marriage ceremony into marriage
if one or both of the parties to the marriage ceremony didn't really know what was going on, aka they didn't know they were getting married
if you make a false statement in a declaration
### Remote witnessing of NOIMs in 2023
This post is now out of date, for the latest news on the remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms visit this page.
In early December the Commonwealth Attorney-General's department's Marriage Law and Celebrants Section let us know that the remote witnessing of NOIMs has been extended to 31 December 2023.
Here's the email sent to all celebrants:
Dear marriage celebrant
We are very pleased to advise that the temporary modification to the Marriage Act 1961 due to COVID-19, enabling an authorised witness to remotely witness the signing of the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM), has been extended for another year. This is a temporary response to assist parties to the marriage meet the notification requirements given the continuing impact of the COVID pandemic.
The Coronavirus Economic Response Package (Modifications—Statutory Declarations and Notices of Intention to Marry) Determination 2021 (the Determination) which commenced on 21 December 2021, modified the Marriage Act 1961 (the Marriage Act) and was the date from when authorised celebrants could begin witnessing signatures remotely.
The Determination is now in place until 31 December 2023, when the relevant legislative instrument will be repealed.
Under the Determination, an authorised witness may sign in the ‘Signature of witness box’ on page 4 of the NOIM, if they have observed the party signing the NOIM, whether or not by means of a facility that enables audio and visual communication between persons in different places. For example, this could include where the authorised witness has observed the signature of the party through videoconferencing facilities such as Skype or Zoom. Such NOIMs signed and witnessed remotely during the specified period should be accepted despite the note on page 2 of the NOIM stating that the ‘Notice must be signed in the physical presence of an authorised witness’. A NOIM must still be given to the authorised celebrant at least one month before the marriage is solemnised.
Please note that the locality requirements of witnesses have not been altered. As such authorised celebrants are only able to remotely witness the signature of parties signing the notice in Australia.
A party overseas is able to sign remotely under the observation of an overseas authorised witness – see paragraphs 42(2)(c) and (d) of the Marriage Act.
There are no changes to the requirement for the physical presence of all parties to the marriage, including the celebrant and two official witnesses, on the day of the marriage (see sections 41 and 44 of the Marriage Act):
Section 41 - A marriage shall be solemnised by or in the presence of an authorised celebrant who is authorised to solemnise marriages at the place where the marriage takes place.
Section 44 - A marriage shall not be solemnised unless at least 2 persons who are,or appear to the person solemnising the marriage to be, over the age of 18 years are present as witnesses.
There is also no change to the requirement that the declaration of no legal impediment be ‘made and subscribed’ before the authorised celebrant prior to the ceremony (see paragraph 42(1)(c) of the Marriage Act).
The department will provide further information regarding the ending of the temporary facility to witness NOIMs remotely closer to the date of repeal of the relevant legislation. Please contact us at marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au if you have any questions about the above.
Regards
Marriage Law and Celebrants Section
### I'm challenging you to learn Markdown
Everyone has their little "thing" where they think if everyone else on the planet just did things this way then the world would be a better place, and honestly, I'm all for your and my weird little opinions. One that I really believe in is that everyone should write their writings, their articles, essays, notes, ceremonies, books, short stories, manuscripts and bodies of writing in Markdown.
And I'm willing to guess that most of you don't even know what Markdown is so let's start at the start.
There are two kinds of data
Since the earliest days of storing data on computers, there have been two kinds of ways to save data: ASCII text, and binary. If you were doing a comp[uter science degree you'd also say that there's only one way to store data, as binary, because computers talk in 1s and zeros, and that's binary data. But ASCII is the first, most basic, most simple, oldest, and yet still so relevant way of storing text.
ASCII Text/Plain Text
ASCII text, or as I'll call it for the rest of this article, plain text, is simply all of the letters you can type into a keyboard. The original plain text character set is 127 characters and it works a little bit like a really basic spy code. Number 83 means capital S, 112 means small p, 121 means small y and 33 means exclamation mark, so 83 112 121 33 spells Spy!
You don't need to thoroughly understand or remember ASCII codes, especially because today they've been superseded by Unicode character sets which are far more diverse and inclusive of all the world's languages, including emoji. It's the same idea of encoding a letter, number, symbol, or emoji to a number but when you look at all the world's languages there's more than the originally planned 127 characters.
There are other popular ways of saving written words, but over time the formats have come and gone. Over the past 30 years, I've written words in WordPerfect, MS Works, QuarkXPress, MS Publisher, MS Word, MacWrite, Lotus Word Pro and Notes, TextWrangler, Apple iWorks and Pages and of those only MS Word would still be able to be opened on my current computer without some hard work. All those glorious high school essays written in Microsoft Works lost to the glory of time because each of those programs had its own opinion on how to best save the written word and they did it all in binary. If they'd saved the data in plain text you could easily open it today but they didn't save it like that because ASCII doesn't have formatting for fonts, it can't save embedded images, it doesn't know about page formatting and margins, or anything that used to matter when you would type the words on a computer so eventually it can be printed.
Things have changed and printing isn't the primary reason for typing today.
The key to take away from this is that there is a globally understood way of typing and reading text on every single computer ever made that's still in use today, and every computer in the future will also support it because it's the very bedrock of using computers: It's called plain text, and it's my favourite way to write words. I'm doing it right now.
As mentioned three paragraphs ago though, plain text is exactly that: plain. Enter Markdown.
Markdown makes plain text pretty
Markdown is a plain text way of making plain text prettier, easier read, and easier formatted whilst still respecting and honouring the nature of plain text.
Here's an example of what a document looks like if you type it in Word then open it with a plain text reader.
You'll notice that when you read the file in Microsoft Word it's fine to read, but if you send it to someone and they don't own MS Word, or maybe t's 100 years from now and Word 2122 doesn't read Word 2022 files anymore, then it looks like it does on the right.
In comparison, here's this very article written in Markdown. The idea behind Markdown is that eve if you read it in a plain text reader like BBEdit, or TextEdit on Mac, or Notepad on Windows, it is still supposed to be understandable and the Markdown formatting actually adds to the plain text nature of it. But then if you export it to be printed, or shared as a PDF, or exported to the web as HTML, then it's formatted accordingly for that medium and you can see that in the screenshot below where BBEdit renders the Markdown formatted text for the web.
How do we write in Markdown?
John Gruber cooked up the idea for Markdown in the early 2000's and you can see his original documentation for how to write in Markdown on his website, it remains mostly unchanged since he published it which is a testament to the strength in the idea.
The basic formatting you need to know to get started is best documented by markdownguide.org:
I've got their Markdown cheat sheet, written in Markdown, saved for quick reference because sometimes I don't even know or can't remember a format.
Where do we write Markdown?
The beauty of Markdown is that you can write it anywhere you already write text and words, but you'll eventually find yourself moving towards applications that champion and support it. I write on my Mac and iPad, so I can recommend applications for those platforms, but the beauty of Markdown being plain text is that you can open up Notepad.exe on your Windows computer and start writing today. Just save the file as a .md file instead of .txt so that you and the world know it's a Markdown-formatted document.
That's the beauty of Markdown, you can just start doing it where you are. You don't need to buy anything new or learn a massive new skillset, it's just a slight upgrade on your existing skills and it means that your data is unlocked from the grips of Apple Pages or Microsoft Word and liberated to be saved and accessed forever.
Here's the apps I have used in the past, I currently use Drafts, MarsEdit and BBEdit in different ways today.
Drafts
MarsEdit
Ulysses
iA Writer
BBEdit
Bear
One of my favourite little side notes when it comes to this whole topic is that Markdown, and the apps that support it, are not the product of global tech companies. Rich Siegel announced BBEdit in 1992 and has been developing it with a small team ever since. Daniel Jalkut left Apple and started Red Sweater software in 1999 and this month he just released version 5 of MarsEdit. John Gruber has been writing on the web for over 20 years and he developed Markdown for his own purposes and so many of us have found purpose in it.
The best things in life are crafted by individuals, not global conglomerates, so that's also why I love Markdown.
I hope so many of you start writing in Markdown soon and in 50 years time when you're going back over that ceremony you wrote you can still read it because you saved it as a plain text file formatted with Markdown.
### Can AI write an original marriage ceremony?
Yes, unfortunately yes artificial intelligence can write a marriage ceremony, but can it present one well?
You've probably read the news about OpenAI's new GPT-3 chatbot, ChatGPT, so I won't mansplain AI to you, but I simply wanted to share what AI thought should happen in a marriage ceremony.
The preparation for this blog post involved asking ChatGPT a few questions, and minutes later I've got a simple and sweet marriage ceremony prepped. I also asked ChatGPT's big brother, DALL-E to create a featured image for this post.
Prompt: Write a non-religious, modern, and fun wedding ceremony for Jack and Jill who met in their teens when they both worked at McDonalds. They've both written personal vows but they'd like a fun and lighthearted wedding reading plus a ring exchange.
ChatGPT:
Jack and Jill met in their teen years at McDonald's, where they both worked as part-time employees. Despite the humble beginning of their relationship, they quickly realized that they had a lot in common and a strong connection.
As they grew older, they continued to support and encourage each other, and they eventually decided to take the next step in their relationship and get married. Today, they are excited to exchange their vows and commit to a lifetime of love and happiness together.
Before they exchange their vows, they have chosen a fun and lighthearted wedding reading to share with their guests.
"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible—it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.
"We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours. Someone who makes the chaos of our lives feel a little bit more manageable. Someone who makes us feel more alive, simply by being in their presence.
"Jack and Jill have found that someone in each other. And today, they are here to declare their love and commitment to one another in front of all of their loved ones.
"So let us all take a moment to celebrate the love of Jack and Jill and to wish them a lifetime of happiness and love together."
After the reading, Jack and Jill will exchange their personal vows, followed by the ring exchange.
Jack will take Jill's hand in his and say, "Jill, you are my rock, my support, and my best friend. I promise to love you, to support you, and to always be there for you, no matter what life may bring. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you."
Jill will then take Jack's hand in hers and say, "Jack, you are my partner, my confidant, and my soulmate. I promise to love you, to cherish you, and to always stand by your side. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you."
After the exchange of rings, the officiant will conclude the ceremony with a final blessing.
"Jack and Jill, you have declared your love and commitment to one another in front of your family and friends. May you always be blessed with love, happiness, and laughter in your life together. Congratulations, you may now seal your vows with a kiss."
With that, Jack and Jill will seal their vows with a kiss, officially becoming husband and wife.
I then asked the ChatGPT to try again and write a different ceremony for the same prompt.
ChatGPT:
Welcome everyone to the beautiful union of Jack and Jill!
As we all know, Jack and Jill met as teenagers at McDonalds, where they shared a love for greasy burgers and fries. Little did they know that their friendship would blossom into the love that we see before us today.
Their love has grown and flourished, and now they are ready to make their commitment to each other official.
Before we begin the ring exchange, we have a special reading for the happy couple.
"Love is not about possession, it's about appreciation. Once you understand that, you can have a relationship with anyone."
Jack and Jill, please exchange your personal vows.
(Jack and Jill exchange vows)
Now, we will begin the ring exchange.
Jack, please place the ring on Jill's finger and repeat after me:
"With this ring, I give you my heart and my promise to be by your side for eternity."
Jill, please place the ring on Jack's finger and repeat after me:
"With this ring, I give you my heart and my promise to be by your side for eternity."
By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride!
Congratulations, Jack and Jill! May your love continue to grow and flourish for many years to come.
So that sounded nice, but why if we wanted to add in a reading as well?
Prompt: write an interesting and funny poem to be read at a wedding
ChatGPT:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
With all my heart,
I marry you.
You make me laugh,
And you make me smile,
Together we'll face
Life's ups and downs In style.
So here's a toast,
To the bride and groom,
May your love grow stronger
With every passing moon.
Cheers to you both,
On this happy day,
May your love be the glue
That always keeps you together,
In every single way.
Enjoy your wedding,
And all the love it brings,
Here's to a future
Filled with happiness and sweet, sweet things.
Now what if the couple wanted some help writing marriage vows? Maybe Jack is a little more boisterous than we imagined?
Prompt: Write funny wedding vows from Jack to Jill and make a subtle mention to foreplay
ChatGPT:
Jill, my love, my partner, my best friend,
I stand here today, ready to make a vow
To love and cherish you, until the very end.
I promise to always make you laugh,
To support you in all that you do,
To be your rock, your shelter from the storm,
And to never stop surprising you.
I vow to always put your needs first,
To listen to your hopes and dreams,
And to always be there for you,
Through thick and thin, through joy and pain.
I promise to always be your foreplay king,
To make sure you're always ready to play,
And to keep the spark alive,
In our relationship, every single day.
Jill, with all my heart,
I take you as my wife,
To love and cherish,
For the rest of our lives.
Of course, Jill is a little more reserved.
Prompt: now write romantic and cute wedding vows for Jill to read to Jack.
ChatGPT:
Jack, my love, my partner, my soulmate,
I stand here today, ready to make a vow
To love and cherish you, for all eternity.
I promise to always support you,
To stand by your side, through good times and bad,
To be your partner, your confidant,
And to always have your back.
I vow to always put you first,
To listen to your hopes and dreams,
And to always be there for you,
Through thick and thin, through joy and pain.
I promise to always cherish you,
To make sure you know how much you mean to me,
And to never take for granted
The love that we share, so beautifully.
Jack, with all my heart,
I take you as my husband,
To love and cherish,
For the rest of our lives.
Now the knowledgeable marriage celebrant would know that none of these vows are enough according to Australian law, surely ChatGPT can fix that up?
Prompt: Write funny wedding vows that include the required words according to the Commonwealth Marriage Act of 1961.
ChatGPT:
Here are some funny wedding vows that include the required words according to the Commonwealth Marriage Act of 1961:
Jack, my love, my partner, my better half,
I stand here today, ready to make a vow
To love and cherish you, until death do us part.
I promise to always make you laugh,
To support you in all that you do,
To be your rock, your shelter from the storm,
And to never stop surprising you.
I vow to always put your needs first,
To listen to your hopes and dreams,
And to always be there for you,
Through thick and thin, through joy and pain.
I promise to always be your partner,
In every sense of the word,
To share with you the burden of life,
And to make it a little less absurd.
Jack, with all my heart,
I take you as my husband,
To love and cherish,
For the rest of our lives,
According to the Commonwealth Marriage Act of 1961.
So maybe AI isn't going to replace us just yet, but if knowing the Marriage Act is the only thing separating the average Australian celebrant and a computer, we're doomed.
### Cyberattack on AGD's MarCel portal
Some of you may have heard a radio report yesterday about the MarCel marriage celebrants portal being hacked. When I heard about it this morning I immediately found the Hansard record of the Senate Estimates Committee meeting where it was discussed on Monday (for those who don't know, Hansard is the transcript of proceedings of the Australian Parliament and its committees).
The Hansard record was slightly alarming in that it didn't provide many details. You can read it here; the relevant discussion is about halfway down (use the Find function in your browser and search for the keyword "marriage").
Honestly, in the current environment with the Optus and Medibank hacks, I was pretty unimpressed that we hadn't been alerted to this as people with details in that database. So I sent an email to MLCS:
I was pretty disappointed to read that the MarCel database was subject to a cyberattack three weeks ago but that we haven't been informed. Although this Hansard record says no data was downloaded, I think in the current climate with the Optus and Medibank hacks, it would be prudent for the Department to be completely transparent with us about such matters.
Can you please contact all celebrants with details of the attack and what has and is being done to protect our information?
Lo and behold, an hour later my phone rang, and it was the lovely Kerrin from the Marriage Law & Celebrants Section on the phone! She wanted to assure me that what had been accessed was an old version of the database that actually holds no data but is used to point people towards the new version (something something - neither she nor I am particularly tech-savvy in that area!), and that therefore no personal details of celebrants had been accessed and nothing had been downloaded. They fixed the gap and we're good to go.
I noted that given it hit the national media yesterday, celebrants were likely to start asking questions if they weren't already, and MLCS might need to communicate ASAP with all celebrants to assure them there is no problem. She understood and noted we will discuss it at the MLCS/Associations meeting on 24 November. She will also be taking us through the stringent cybersecurity protections they have in place (such as us needing to change our password almost every time we log on to the portal!)
So that's the info we have: no drama, more info to come :)
Your nerd chimes in
Hey, Josh here on the end of Sarah's news because I wanted to chime in with a plea to all celebrants: one day soon, and maybe even sooner after this news, one of us is going to be on the news because we got hacked and we need to know how to lessen the risk of it happening.
The hypothetical news report will detail how all of the data on our local computers, in our emails, and our text messages were taken by a hacker. The celebrant's clients' passports, birth certificates, parents' details (like the mother's maiden name - that old security question), and our notes on the couples, like children's and pets' names, addresses, and love story details. Celebrants are hot fodder for identity thieves.
There was a time when locks and deadbolts were new technology and we had to learn how to use them to secure our offices, filing cabinets and homes. You now need to learn how to secure your computers, phones, and data stores. If you can't put a hand on your heart and promise to your clients that their data in your NOIMs, marriage certificates, BDMs online, and emails are secure, then you need to figure out how.
The featured image for this story was generated by DALL-E AI with the prompt "photo of a computer hacker's wedding" so that's why it's so creepy.
### Marriage statistics 2021
I was about to give myself a long lunch break when my daily statistics release email came through from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (yes, we all know I'm a nerd) and top of the list was the marriage stats release for 2021! This is two whole weeks earlier than usual! Here's my thoughts, stream-of-consciousness style, as I review the stats for the first time.
Overall marriage numbers were below pre-pandemic levels again, which is unsurprising given the Delta-wave lockdowns in Victoria and New South Wales. 89,164 couples married in 2021, compared with the record low of 78,989 in 2020 (2021 numbers 12.9% higher than 2020) and the last pre-pandemic count of 113,815 in 2019 (2021 numbers 21.7% lower than 2019).
Low numbers were particularly seen in New South Wales (27,311 marriages: 31.0% lower than 2019, 2.1% lower than 2020) and Victoria (18,738 marriages: 34.6% lower than 2019, 12.7% higher than 2020), which is entirely unsurprising. New South Wales was the only state that actually had less weddings in 2021 than in 2020. Marriage numbers in Queensland, South Australia, Tasmania and Northern Territory almost returned to pre-pandemic levels.
Monthly numbers are also interesting: usually we see strong seasonal peaks in autumn and spring. In 2021 the first half of the year saw numbers almost back to normal, then they fell off a cliff (although not as dramatic a cliff as April 2020) with the June lockdowns in New South Wales and Victoria. August was a particularly quiet month for marriages last year, with 2,981 marriages compared to 4,636 in 2021 and an average of 6050 in the years 2015-2019. While New South Wales was in lockdown, only 327 marriages occurred in July and 153 in August. While Victoria was in lockdown, the worst month was September, with only 174 marriages occurring, 91% lower than pre-pandemic levels!
Although numbers were lower than pre-pandemic, characteristics of marrying people remain stable: median age for men to marry was 32.1 years, median age for women to marry was 30.5 years, and 80.7% of all marriages were officiated by civil celebrants (remember that includes the State and Territory Registry Offices).
Same-sex marriages represented 3.2% of all marriages occurring in Australia in 2021, with more female couples marrying than male couples. The median age for same-sex couples marrying remained higher than the general population, but lower than same-sex couples in previous years. Note: although I usually call these couples "marriage equality couples" because there may be, e.g., a woman marrying a non-binary person, therefore not being same-sex, the ABS doesn't include marriages where one or both parties ticked the X or Non-binary box on their marriage paperwork. They say this is for "confidentiality reasons". I have always found this weird and would love an explanation as to what exactly is being kept confidential in a list of statistics... if we have any statistics-savvy celebrants out there, I'd love to talk to you about this!
Divorce numbers rose in 2021: 56,244 divorces were granted, up 13.6% from 49,510 in 2020. Apparently this is partly due to administrative changes at the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia to increase finalisations and reduce timeframes, which meant more applications could be finalised than previous years and allowed the Courts to reduce a backlog. So we can't really compare those numbers with any confidence; we'll need to wait until next year to see what the 2022 divorce data looks like to see if the numbers are really changing. There's also a reminder in the analysis that divorces can only occur after at least 12 months' separation in Australia, so only a small proportion of the 2021 divorces granted relate to separations that occurred after the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.
And that's my initial thoughts! Let me know if you have any specific questions you'd like me to dig around and see if I can answer!
### Are meetings at cafes a business expense?
A member asks:
Can you claim a tax deduction for the cost of holding a couple meeting at a cafe? Paying for their coffee? I hear different answers to this.
I need to begin with full disclosure that neither Sarah or I are accountants, or lawyers, not do we speak on behalf of the Australian Tax Office. I can however quote back relevant parts of the ATO’s website to you to answer this question.
Business expenses are deductions
To start, the ATO does accept that there are expenses to running a business, and these deduct from your business revenue to leave you with a profit which is taxed.
The ATO works it out like this: Assessable income − allowable deductions = taxable income.
Deductions is where we’re at today.
You can claim a tax deduction for most expenses from carrying on your business, as long as they are directly related to earning your assessable income.
And they have three golden rules for deductions:
The expense must have been for your business, not for private use.
If the expense is for a mix of business and private use, you can only claim the portion that is used for your business.
You must have records to prove it.
With these exceptions:
entertainment expenses
traffic fines
private or domestic expenses, such as childcare fees or clothes for your family
expenses relating to earning income that is not assessable, such as money you earn from a hobby
the GST component of a purchase if you can claim it as a GST credit on your business activity statement.
And where our member and their friends is getting caught up on is the word “entertainment”.
What is entertainment
Without further research you might have a different understanding of what entertainment is, compared to the ATO.
As an employer, you will, from time to time, provide your employees with food and drink, gifts, and possibly leisure activities. This may happen in a variety of circumstances and for a number of different employees and their associates.
One possible entertainment example given on the ATO website is
business lunches with clients
But I would argue that a business lunch is different to a coffee meeting.
The ATO does provide a test for you to determine whether or not an event like a coffee meeting with a client or potential client is entertainment. They suggest asking four questions about the possible entertainment to decide whether it is deductible or not.
The ATO suggests asking why, what, when, and where.
Why are you providing the food or drink for employees?
I want to highlight how most of this test is about employees, of which I guess you are included. But the question asks why. What is the purpose of this coffee meeting? An example given makes this one easy for me:
Providing refreshments to enable the employee to complete the working day in comfort is not generally entertainment.
What type of food or drink is being provided?
The ATO has some sort of sliding scale of elaborateness of food to judge your entertainment by:
The more elaborate a meal, the more likely it becomes that entertainment arises from eating the meal.
When is the food or drink being provided?
The ATO believes that if the possible entertainment is happening while you’re on the clock, it’s unlikely to be entertainment:
Food or drink provided during work time, during overtime or while an employee is traveling for work is less likely to be entertainment.
Where is the food or drink being provided?
The ATO is obviously referencing a traditional business model where there is a place of employment, because the example given says
Food or drink provided off your business premises … is more likely to be entertainment.
So is a coffee meeting entertainment?
I’ll think back to yesterday’s coffee meeting I had with a couple who I am marrying.
I am meeting with the couple with the sole purpose of talking about their wedding which they have hired me to officiate. The entertainment being provided was coffees all round. I am meeting them in met work hours, which honestly, is all day every day right? I have a home office, but it’s generally not an acceptable meeting place for couples. So to meet with couples I am forced to seek temporary meeting places, like cafes.
Is a meeting over coffee a business expense?
I have determined, according to the rules and test laid out by the ATO, that my coffee meeting was not entertainment but a legitimate business expense.
All you have to do now is record the expense.
### Celebrant legal obligations online
Hopefully everyone has caught up on this major change to the way we do our work, but I know that some people missed it. So here's a super basic update.
Until June 2019, celebrants had to sight original hard copy versions of all identity documents (think passports, birth certificates, driver's licences), etc. We now have permission to sight evidence of date and place of birth documents electronically (as a scan or photo of the original document), and to sight evidence of identity documents electronically (via Skype or Facetime in conjunction with seeing the party's face). We can also accept electronic copies of death certificates. Divorce certificates have only been issued electronically since 2011, so this is less of an issue with those, but if a party was divorced before that year, we can now sight an electronic copy of their hard copy original divorce order.
Until June 2019, if a NOIM was signed using pen and paper, the celebrant had to receive the original hard copy before performing the marriage, even if the couple were coming from overseas or interstate and had emailed it to the celebrant to meet the one-month notice period. We now have permission to receive an electronic copy of the original (photo or scan) and rely on that electronic copy as the original; we do not have to receive the hard copy before the marriage goes ahead.
All marriage paperwork except the Form 15 (so the NOIM, DONLIM and OCM) can be completed and signed on a tablet using an appropriate stylus (such as the Apple Pencil on an iPad).
All of this will make life much simpler for those celebrants with access to an online marriage registration system (in Qld, NSW and Vic), because they won't need to actually print anything except the Form 15. They can sight identity documents electronically, and produce and sign the marriage documents electronically, and upload them directly to BDM electronically.
There is a comprehensive fact sheet and quick reference guide available on the Attorney General's Department's website: https://www.ag.gov.au/FamiliesAndMarriage/Marriage/marriagecelebrants/Pages/Celebrant-resources.aspx You should definitely read them!
### Top ten tips for new marriage celebrants
On this special episode, Josh dials in from California to chat with Sarah about their Top Ten Tips for new Celebrants, as requested by Emily. But there are some tips in here for all celebrants, new or not!
Network, network, network - with anyone in the marriage industry
Find a buddy/mentor
Read the Guidelines to the Marriage Act cover to cover, and look at them regularly when you have a question
Watch lots of ceremonies to find out different ways of doing things
Learn how to business
Figure out your differentiator, your point of difference
Earn your fee … aka don’t just google other fees, but figure out how to charge what it costs you etc, and there’s the sliding scale of learner to expert
Learn from other industries - business-wise - and ceremony wise
Attend OPD in person! [We acknowledge this information is old now, for the most up to date information on OPD please visit celebrant.institute/opd]
PA system/tech gear
A bonus 11th tip is an ad, for Freshbooks - because honestly, the biggest tip you could get is to get on top of your money. Get on top of invoicing, getting paid, tracking expenses.
Times and topics
01.46 Tip 1 – Network, network, network. Sarah’s all about going to every wedding-related event she can. Josh agrees - it’s about building relationships, not only with other celebrants but with people and suppliers from all across the industry. It’s not just about getting work, but about making our work lives more fun
08.24 Tip 2 – Find a buddy/mentor that you can bounce things off, and ask for help
09.48 Tip 3 – Read the (current) Guidelines to the Marriage Act cover to cover, and look at them regularly when you have a question. The Guidelines will answer 95% of any questions you may have. Even Sarah, who knows the Guidelines really really well, still goes back and checks the Guidelines
12.47 Tip 4 – Watch lots of ceremonies to find out different ways of doing things
16.45 Tip 5 – Learn ‘how to business’. Understand your business accounts, how people want to pay for things, contracts. Know where & how to get advice and specialist help when you need it
20.00 Tip 6 – Figure out your differentiator, your point of difference. What are you good at/not good at? Your brand should reflect this, and explain how this matters to people getting married
27.10 Tip 7 – Earn your fee, aka don’t just google other fees, but figure out how to charge what it costs you etc, and there’s the sliding scale of learner to expert
34.59 Tip 8 – Learn from other industries – business-wise and ceremony-wise. Learn voice tips from other public speakers and even podcast hosts
39.44 Tip 9 – Attend OPD in person! (not distance) Josh has done both and it’s way easier to attend in person; also it’s good to meet other celebrants and learn from them
41.02 Tip 10 – PA System / tech gear. Know your gear and learn how to use it properly. Make sure everyone can hear you!
46.07 Bonus Tip 11 – Get on top of your accounts. Freshbooks accounting software can help with invoices and clients can pay directly from the invoice you send them
### Being found is the new advertising
There are a few different kinds of marketing and advertising, but they can be mostly wrapped up under two headings: passive and active.
Passive marketing is my favourite because it actively respects the nature of the wedding industry. People getting married are normal people, who can't easily be targeted using Facebook and Google ads because Meta and Google don't know when the wedding is or even if they are having one. The "Engaged" status is nice, but the context is lacking. Weddings are a luxury spend, they are not necessary: people can get married without a wedding. Weddings are very personal in taste, and taste is hard to account for in an algorithm.
So passive marketing is about putting yourself out there, leaving a fishing line in the water if you like, and waiting for the right fish to swim along.
So this post is about putting yourself out there, and very much so, what there are you putting yourself into.
A recent article on Every confirmed something I'd been thinking for a while. We're entering a post-Google search world. For almost 25 years we've been Google searching anything and everything, and hoping for the best, but less and less we trust the Google results. So we augment them.
Just say you were trying to be found on the boring "Brisbane wedding celebrant" search term. What happens if you drop the word Reddit in front of it? Are you there? Are you active on Reddit?
Do you have a presence on Bing? Almost half of all web searches happen on Bing because it's the default search engine on Microsoft Windows, Edge, Internet Explorer, Microsoft Office, Alexa, Apple Siri, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, MSN and AOL.
If you search for yourself on Instagram or Facebook, are you found?
Being shoved in people's faces via advertising seems lovely, but it really isn't. But when people want to find you, or someone like you, have you positioned yourself ready to be found?
If not, get in touch, I'd love to help you out.
### Market your celebrant services like Apple markets the iPhone
Jano le Roux, a copywriter, has done a deep dive on the marketing surrounding the new iPhone 14. Words matter, and they've pulled the Apple copywriting apart to show how it matters to the average Joe like you and me who will pony up for a new phone:
You are the hero in Apple’s story.
You. You. You.
Apple uses the three letters “you”:
89 times on the iPhone 14 page
93 times on the iPhone 14 Pro page
It’s not a photo. It’s your photo. It’s not a font. It’s your font. It’s not widgets. It’s your widgets. And most importantly, it is not an iPhone.
It is your iPhone.
They go further:
Many brands out there make big promises.
Apple takes a different route.
Instead of promising things, it proves things because it knows:
Trust does not live in promises.
Trust lives in proof.
So instead Apple literally shows you what they mean.
Read the rest of the article on Medium.
### Maybe it will inspire some of us to rest
There's a new podcast episode out and Josh is moving to Mexico. Sarah's still not at rest but she has found a spectacular little trick for funerals using iMovie. Still no movement on the NOIM video witnessing push, and we're meeting with the AGD next month.
Listen and subscribe to the podcast at celebrant.fm.
### Be a little more like Robbie Williams as a celebrant
I'll get the disappointment out of the way for everyone, I'm no AFL fan. Can you blame me? I'm a Queenslander born and bred, we worship NRL gods up here.
Regardless, I heard people comment on Robbie Williams' performance to open the match was amazing, so I fired up my Youtubes and watched the clip. I have a few thoughts and they're mostly related to how you and I, celebrants, do our job.
"Hello Australia, my name is Robbie Williams" - he introduces himself clearly and concisely. A common complaint about celebrants I receive is that people don't know who they are, what they're there to do, or when they are delivering the ceremony they slide so far into the background that the Wizard of Oz is more visible than them. There's a big difference between making the ceremony all about you and introducing yourself. Find that place and own it.
"Over the next twenty minutes I'm going to be phenomenal so you better be good" - Robbie set expectations on time and quality early, and high. Honestly, I think I'm going to use this line at every wedding from now until eternity. Set the expectations in your guests so they know what's coming up, it makes them feel comfortable when it happens.
"Nah, nah, nah, I need the whole stadium to do this." - get the crowd involved, and let them know when they're not involved.
"The obligatory new song, we'll get through it together" - I'm guessing the record company did a deal where they needed the new song played, he acknowledged it, we laughed, then loved the new song. Maybe there's some obligation in your wedding ceremony, bring it to the crowd with as much honesty and comedy as you can then come back like Robbie does "Back to the hits".
"I was awesome" - Robbie had just belted out Let Me Entertain You and undertaken some big moves to get across the field, and wraps up on a "that was awesome!", such an endearing line. To build on that group experience and say what everyone was thinking. When your couple delivers epic vows, or something great happens, call it out, join with the crowd in acknowledging that which is great!
A quick note on what he's wearing. Hot pink, looking hot. Dress up a little won't you?
Finally, you'll notice Robbie has no script, no autocue, there's no screen showing him the lyrics or what's happening next. The boy is a professional, he's well-rehearsed, and he knows how to bring it. Take from that what you will, but a well-rehearsed professional celebrant is a well-regarded, well-referred and well-paid.
### Tips for completing the compulsory OPD
We've had a lot of requests about whether we're going to run a session providing info about the compulsory OPD that is offered this year through the Marriage Celebrants Portal. In a word: no. The reason is that there are a bank of multiple choice questions and every celebrant gets a different 25 questions. It would be REALLY difficult for me to run a session covering all the content that is dealt with in the entirety of the bank of questions; we'd have to go through the Act, Regulations and Guidelines in minute detail, and we'd probably be there for a week.
Instead, here are some tips for how to attack your Knowledge of the Law OPD topic (all the answers for the Real Consent topic are included in the PDF booklet within that topic).
Copy and paste
Instead of trying to make your way through the online quiz in one go, copy and paste your questions and answers into a Word document. That way it won't matter if the online platform times out while you're working through the questions. You can take as long as you need to work through each question, finding the correct response in the Marriage Act, Marriage Regulations, or Guidelines on the Marriage Act.
Resources
All the answers you could possibly need will be found in one of these three documents:
Marriage Act 1961
Marriage Regulations 2017
Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2021
The purpose of this OPD activity is to help you familiarise yourself with these resources; bookmark them, download a PDF copy if you want, even print them! They're your best friend when it comes to marriage law issues.
Working with the resources
No, you don't need to read the above documents from front to back. They do each have a fairly useful contents page, but even more useful is the Find function. Here's a video I made for my Cert IV students about how to use the Find function; I think it will help you a lot!
https://vimeo.com/688263072/3e7cc1728d
If you're interested in a bit more info about how to read legislation, check out this video I made for my Cert IV students:
https://vimeo.com/701910869/761263e023
Remembering your responses
Once you've figured out which of the multiple choice options you think is correct for each question, you can head back to the portal, open up your OPD activity, and select your answers. Make sure you make a note of which option you choose for each question, because if you get one wrong, the system will NOT tell you which one you chose last time. You do get four attempts, so there's the opportunity to try each multiple choice option, but this only helps if you can remember which answer you gave previously.
Most importantly...
Remember this is not a test, and it doesn't matter if you get the all wrong! The only requirement is that you have completed the task and submitted it; there's no requirement to get a certain number of questions correct, and you will not be penalised in any way for getting the wrong answers. The AGD will use overall statistics from this task to show where celebrants need more information and assistance, and to help them to produce better resources for us.
That's it! Good luck!
### Where should the celebrant stand in a wedding ceremony? Josh's view
Where should the celebrant stand in a marriage ceremony? There's no rule, law, or correct answer, but I'll lay out the fundamentals on how I make my decision on where to stand, because it's not always the same decision being made.
If you make different decisions, like Sarah does, your view and decision is valid and fine. Like, I might think you're wrong, but I'm not your mum or the police, so you'll be ok.
The room
Comics and musicians often talk about not wanting to work in certain rooms again. The vibe, the layout, and the positioning can all be wrong. Sometimes it's about symmetry - or lack of it. Or whether we're up on a stage, or down on a different level from the couple. Some ceremony areas have a left or right-leaning basis so as you look at the room your eyes get lead a certain way.
Or if its outdoors, are there leading lines in the trees or the field?
What I'm trying to get at is that most rooms lend themselves to a certain kind of ceremony. The feel of the room, and where the eyes are lead, almost naturally instructs us where the ceremony should be and how the three of us in the ceremony should be positioned.
Most ceremony locations have seats with an aisle down the middle, with symmetry either naturally occurring, or being crafted by a designer or stylist, so the ceremony being in the middle is the ideal place. And the person creating the ceremony, the ringleader, the master of ceremony, the leader, the person running this show, should be there - in the middle.
I'm obsessed with taking ownership of how the room/ceremony feels. Are the chairs too close or too far
The couple
In my 14 years of creating thousands of marriage ceremonies, I have had three couples who wanted to face their guests. I've had one couple who wanted to face me, and I honestly found it quite confronting for my style of ceremony. Everyone else felt most comfortable facing each other. In that moment they almost levitate away from the burden of being watched by a crowd, and they are in the zone with each other.
So if they're facing each other, and if I'm talking to them, the ideal place for me to stand is between them, facing the guests, whom I'm also talking to.
The five senses
One of the wisest things I was taught in business was to consider how people interact with your business using their five senses. How does this experience smell? How does it sound? How does it look? How does it feel/touch? How does it taste?
Aside from considering if the marriage ceremony is happening next to a seafood restaurant's garbage bin, or if the seats are made out of razors, the two most important ones for a wedding is sight and sound.
Can the ceremony be heard well, is it amplified appropriately, so all can easily experience it? Is the speaker raised off the ground and at ear-level so the sound is natural? Is the microphone a quality microphone so the amplified voice sounds like their actual voice (that's a solid dig at MiPro microphones which sound like a dying mule)? You probably knew this one already, but here's one more: is the amplified sound coming from the same space as the actual voice? This is why we don't put out PA systems at the back of the ceremony, it's confusing for our brains as the voice is coming from a different direction than our eyes are seeing the lips moving.
But one extra point is this: is the action of the ceremony coming from where the ceremony is or is the person speaking for most of the ceremony physically situated in a different location than the actual ceremony? This is confusing for listeners' ears and viewers' eyes.
A ceremony that is taking into account the guests' senses, is amplified from and situated in the same location as the ceremony - in the middle.
Are there cases for the celebrant to present the ceremony from the side of the bridal party, sure, I haven't ever experienced one. Is there a case for the celebrant to present the ceremony from the aisle, facing the couple with their back to the crowd? Only if the ceremony isn't important and the celebrant doesn't want to be listened to.
Do your couple a favour and let them face each other, and do them and their guests a favour by standing in between them.
A final note on photography: The celebrant isn't a vendor to be excluded from the photos and video. We are literally creating and presenting the best part of the wedding. We're allowed to be in the photos and video. Are there times when we could get out of the photos, yes. But don't let the focus of your efforts be to remove yourself like you were never there, you can't actually be that terrible of a celebrant. Maybe if you're really bad, then try and stay out of the photos, but seriously, if you're reading this blog then you're the kind of person who is committed to being awesome, I reckon you deserve to be in a photo or two, because the ceremony is more important than the photos and videos. As far as removing yourself for the kiss and maybe the vows, I try really hard to do that naturally and organically. For the vows I'll offer my handheld microphone to the couple to use to exchange vows and at that time I'll step out of the picture for the moment. But some would prefer I held the mic, and when I do I stand there naturally and normally holding it. I've been sent too many photos of celebrants trying to hide and the end result is that it looks awkward, so it's better to look normal and just own the fact that you're there. As for the kiss, in my moments before the pronouncement, I'll casually step away from the middle and bring my ending remarks and pronounce them married. I've also seen lots of photos of celebrants awkwardly running away from the ceremony. Take these opportunities to move around your ceremony area a little bit. Own the room, command the guests' attention, breath this awesome marriage to life, you're really good at this!
Also, the wedding photography and videography community would like you to know that they're actually skilled enough to get the kiss shot the first time. They don't need to be denigrated in front of the wedding guests by you saying "let's do it again for the photographer!"
I pulled a few moments out of a recent ceremony of mine to give you an example of how I move in and out of a ceremony to give the photographers and videographers some space to make art without my noggin in it. I also consider it nice to step out for the vows to create intimacy for the couple.
https://vimeo.com/744846213
I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, but before we get to them, we'll hear from some of your colleagues on what they like to do.
Katerina:
I ask the couples where they'd like me to stand. We rehearse both scenarios, and then they choose. Predominantly, Couples seem to have me smack bang in the middle. It's their choice and the rehearsal seals the deal.
Catherine:
I too like to stand in the centre
Sophie:
I remember being so inspired at the Celebrant Conference you guys ran with that lady (Ed: Vickie Musni) who spoke about personality types and storytelling, she’d been involved with toastmasters I think, and she told us that story about the Christmas tree - remember? I cried! She explained how she used her body moving from right to left as she told the tale, as it gave the watching audience member the experience of reading from left to right, and added to the unfolding of the story. I’ve never been bold enough to try it but have mused on doing this during a ceremony - shifting sides and even moving down the aisle and turning to face the couple as I speak their story to bring it to life more. That section of the ceremony is always the largest chunk of my talking and I’m always aware of holding guests' attention and making it interesting beyond just the content!
Julia:
I like to stand in the middle as well, that way I can have the couple holding hands to 'anchor' them. If I stand anywhere else, I find they tend to turn and follow me instead of focusing on each other. I always explain to the photographer/videographer that I will move out of the camera shot at the important parts (kisses, etc) so they can get a clear shot, but I also hold the ceremony for a moment while they do that
Sally-Ann:
I move about. I set up off to the side, like the narrator in the Rocky Horror Show - sometimes moving in to talk to a family member if they're being mentioned. I tell the story from the sidelines so that everyone can focus on the lovebirds and their crew. I have found that this helps reduce their nerves as they don't feel like the eyes of the world are on them the whole time (even if they are) and people can get used to how short I am without seeing me next to the couple towering over me. For the serious stuff I have to say to the couple I move it, and it's not photobombing if I'm only there for a few moments... I will stand with my back to the crowd and look into my couple's eyes for an asking and the monitum, special words between me and them - their audience can still see them easily - I'm only 4'10. Then back out to the sidelines if they are reading vows. If they are "repeating after me" (like with rings) then I duck in behind them to hold up a handheld mic for them to speak into (turning off my headset so I'm not amplified) and again with my diminutive stature you pretty much only see my arm extended above my head! Because I'm blessed with the ability to walk and chew gum at the same time I will start the spiel for the declaration as I make my way back out of the way for the declaration and kiss. I am gobsmacked at how many photographers ask me beforehand if I'll remember to step out of the way for the kiss. After the signing, there's no set routine. You read your crowd and your couple - and a bit depends on what sort of recessional they've planned and how long the photographer faffs about at the signing table.
Kirk:
I like to stand in the middle because it allows me to guide, comfort and reassure my couples. It also allows me to maximise the moment and connection they share. I can read their faces, gauge how they are feeling and know what I need to do and not do. Some photographers are so fixated on the photo they forget what is most important and that is actually being in the moment. Moment comes first, photos comes second. There are plenty of other photo ops without me - vows, rings, kiss, recessional etc. Let me do my job and that is to look after my couple.
Jake:
I'm an in-the-middle guy all the way! The couple are (and should be) the absolute centre of everything that happens. Everything should be meaningful to and about them, and every word should be relevant. I want to deliver content that matters, with passion and enthusiasm. If I do that while I'm standing off to the side, where do the guests look? Where do the couple look? When we're all together there's no challenge, no mental gymnastics, we can all get lost in the moment and be on the same page. Anything that divides people's attention destroys the atmosphere. I move out of the way a little when I'm not speaking, I don't want to be in all their photos... but the couple paid me a lot because they trust that my words will matter, so for the bulk of the ceremony I'm with them. That's where the focus needs to be... in my opinion anyway!
Kathy:
I have always found couples don't usually have an opinion and ask me the question and usually go with my suggestions apart from one couple who wanted a circular wedding. I like to stand looking at my couple with them facing each other and holding hands. When the ceremony hits the Vows, I stand aside and allow them just to be with each other, the same goes for the kiss. This is mainly for photo shots too. I love to have a photo with my couple when signing but often that has not happened so I have learned to speak to the photographer beforehand and ask them politely to take a shot.
Chrissy:
I love reading your updates and I was a Celebrant in Cairns for 6 years and you are in one of my favourite places. I too had a croc encounter when I was doing a rehearsal at Ellis Beach and it was in the ocean behind us! In response to where you stand call me old-fashioned, I have been a celebrant since 2011 and I have always stood in the middle although I did try standing at the end at the beginning when I was in Mt Martha but it was to much tooing and froing for the couple as I always ask them and they always say right next to them for that support as well. However, I always step away to the side for the kiss!
Barbara:
I leave where I stand in the wedding ceremony up to the couple but I do have a preference for standing in the middle. Especially so during the vows. I have found that couples can become overwhelmed during this part of the service and can become very emotional. I have found that it is comforting for them to have me right there next to them in the middle where they can regain their composure and say their vows. Many times it is necessary to signal the start of their vows by a gentle touch from me on the arm to bring them back to the moment where they have to speak. It is difficult to do this if I am standing over to one side of the service. Only a handful of couples have wanted me to stand to either side but want me to stand in the middle of them during their vows for the reasons that I have outlined. As I have said, my couples do decide what is best for them. If I am asked I do suggest for me to stand in the middle where I can see exactly how they are responding during the service and not have their back to me where I cannot see their faces. Always though without exception after The Declaration of Marriage where I say, "it is with great pleasure that I now declare them to be husband and wife" that I make sure that I get completely out of this photo and stand back next to the groomsmen. This is because I want my couples to have that lovely photo of them kissing at their wedding without me in the photo.
Alison:
Looking forward to your views on where to stand! I attended a PD session and the fellow running it was talking about the advantages of standing to the side of the bridal party, citing benefits such as being out of the photos, and having the bride and groom looking outward toward guests ... can't remember others! For each ceremony I've done (and I'm a newbie! so only 7 or so) and they each prefer the idea of me standing close to them and between them. I also prefer this closeness, in proximity which I thnk helps generate a sense of intimacy between me and the couple and therefore the couple and their guests. I have usually had a chance to chat to the photographer prior to the ceremony and so between us we have a better idea of when I can stand back so the photographer can get the photos - but usually, the photographer says - "Oh don't worry, I'm a professional, let me worry about the pictures, I can easily work around you."
### Utilise the power of the "Zero Price Effect"
Communicating value, selling your services, and convincing couples you're worth your fee, is all hard work. Sometimes we discover psychological tricks to lubricate that process, things that can make it easier.
Today's introduction to that list of sales tricks is the Zero Price Effect.
Using the word "free" touches a nerve that many other words can't. Studies have shown that we tend to discard rational analysis when there's an element of "free" present in the equation.
Free shipping is a well-proven sales method that blows my mind. Surely we all know that there is no such thing as free shipping, that the price of shipping is just included in the price, but:
it's the second most cited reason why people subscribe to Amazon Prime
it can improve average order value by as much as 90% as consumers attempt to hit the free shipping threshold
Here are three ways you can use the word free in your celebrancy marketing:
Free something that isn't related to money
The key issuing the word, not necessarily losing money. Fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free are good examples.
What do you not include on purpose in your product offering?
Providing something that actually is free
When you signed up to become a member of this website you probably did it via a free trial. Providing free value at no cost is a simple way of getting people in the door. Keep in mind though, this is the most abused, and the easiest to mis-use.
Bundle it up for free
You're familiar with the free steak knives concept/joke right? That's this method. If they book package three, they get a free thing. Bundle it up and use the word free.
That one simple word - free - is going to get you more sales, so go and deploy it!
### Ted Gioia's 10 rules for public speaking
Every celebrant should read this post from Ted Gioia on his 10 rules for public speaking, and my challenge to you is to integrate at least one, if not all of them, into your next ceremony.
Bangers like this on how everyone listening wants you to win:
I’ve never met anyone who went to an event hoping to be bored and disappointed. The audience really, really wants you to succeed, and if you give them even the slightest chance at having a good time, they will cheer you on.
And this on being a rock star:
So just as you are about to begin your talk, tell yourself: I’m a Rock Star and I Totally Rock! And it’s not a lie—for the next few minutes, that will exactly be what you will experience.
Read them all here.
### You must call yourself a marriage celebrant
I'm sure that all of you have familiarised yourself with the Marriage Act of 1961, so you probably don't have to read this, but on the off chance that Sarah Aird has schooled you, like she's just schooled me, on some things in the Marriage Act, I thought I'd share them here. These are new changes since marriage equality was legislated.
Today we're talking about section 39G, Obligations of each marriage celebrant.
A marriage celebrant must ...
conduct himself or herself in accordance with the Code of Practice for marriage celebrants prescribed by regulations made for the purposes of this paragraph
So here we're taking about reading the Code of Practice, and hopefully exceeding it's expectations of us. It's all pretty standard stuff, but there's a few interesting points some of us should note.
For example, wedding rehearsals, I don't like them, but I - unlike some others - still do them if requested because the Code of Practise requires it of us. Another section mentions using a PA system, and I know personally of two celebrants who do not.
Have a read of the code and make sure your service offering is up to the absolute minimum set by the government, then maybe try and out-do it, for the love of god please!
undertake all professional development activities required by the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants in accordance with regulations made for the purposes of this paragraph; and comply with any disciplinary measures taken against the marriage celebrant under section 39I;
Do your OPD, it's not that hard and it's just the law. Put it in your phone reminders and set it to repeat every year. Do it.
notify the Registrar, in writing, within 30 days of: a change that results in the details provided by the person to the Registrar no longer being correct; or the occurrence of an event that might have caused the Registrar not to register the person as a marriage celebrant if the event had occurred before the person was registered;
Part of this is about your personal and contact details, and part of it is about making sure you're still able to be a celebrant. Interesting side-note, many of us don't have the Certificate IV in Celebrancy, I wonder if we probably should?
disclose that the celebrant is a marriage celebrant, and whether or not the celebrant is a religious marriage celebrant, in any document relating to the performance of services as a marriage celebrant (including advertisements) by the celebrant. Note 1: If a marriage celebrant fails to comply with these obligations, the Registrar may take disciplinary measures under section 39I. Note 2: For subparagraph (1)(c)(i), a person may notify the Registrar by updating the person’s details using a portal provided by the Registrar.
Your advertising has to say you are a "marriage celebrant". Seems simple, but lots of marriage celebrants say "celebrant" or other varieties. The other side point here is that the law asks that "the celebrant" discloses the the celebrant is a marriage celebrant. My reading of that would be that "the celebrant" has to be identified. Simple stuff but I see lots of celebrant advertising that doesn't mention the celebrant's actual name. This is just poor branding, but I'd say it goes some way toward getting yourself a slap on the hands from the AGD.
Without limiting subsection (1), the regulations may require a fee to be paid in respect of an application for an exemption from requirements prescribed by regulations made for the purpose of paragraph (1)(b).
This is about the annual fee. Pay that annual fee, won't you.
### My iPad lost everything, how can I prevent this?
S writes in with a question about data loss and iPads:
What are your back up plans when it comes to “Digital Paperwork”?
I recently had the scenario of my iPad wiping all my files on the way to a wedding! Not sure how, but everything was there when I left home and gone when I arrived at the location! My iPad appeared to have done an automatic update, which were previously turned off!?
It wasn’t a total fiasco as I do have back ups in place. I had the ceremony in the cloud and also on my phone. I don’t however upload paperwork to the cloud, it stays encrypted on my laptop and I airdrop it to my ipad. I’m a bit paranoid about loading paperwork to the cloud. Instead I take blank paper copies with me for an emergency, so I hand wrote the forms prior to the ceremony. Luckily I’m always early and had time to do this.
This is the first time in 18 months of being digital that this has happened, to say I almost threw up when I saw my iPad empty of files would be an understatement. But everything was fine in the end.
So my other questions are: Do you have any suggestions for how I could handle this better? Also, has this happened to either of you? If so, what was your solution?
Hey S! I keep a pretty nerdy system, but it helps me sleep at night, here’s how I would get around and prevent your issue, but also deal with it if it happened to me:
1) The device: I’m not sure what happened to your iPad, maybe you could be more precise about what was gone when you mean “all my files”. Which app or which system etc. But with my iPad it’s not a place my kids play, it’s a business device, not for kids. It’s secure, as is my Apple ID. I’m using two-factor authentication and a six-digit passcode so the device is secure. I do regular iPadOS updates and software updates and I leave it on power and on wifi overnight so it backs up to iCloud and maintains a healthy system. It might all seem a bit overkill, but that’s an optimum use case. Also, I wonder how much storage you have, did you fill the storage up and thus make it unusable? Finally, I always get the 4G/5G iPad so that it has its own internet access away from the office. Software updates are good, but I don't do them the day of a wedding. Leave updates on automatically so they're done early and often, but check your iPad has all the data ready before you leave.
2) The app/system: Where are your files stored? You mention being against storing them in the cloud, but the cloud isn't as evil or insecure as it was years ago. I’m a Dropbox guy as well, and I write all my writing in plain text - Markdown to be precise - but it saves as plain text so any app ever made by any computer ever can read my files. As for the marriage documents, they’re obviously PDFs and I store them in my Dropbox, in a folder system like this: \Dropbox\Celebrant PDFs\Client folder name and the Client folder name is the year then a dash, then the month, then the day, of their wedding, then a reference to the couple. So if Jack and Jill are getting married today, their folder name is 2022-08-08 Jack and Jill, and in that folder, I keep all their legal paperwork and info. I trust Dropbox as a company, and my Dropbox account is secure as you can make it. It's more secure than a filing cabinet in an office.
3) The backup: So with backups, the rule is: one place where data exists is seen as none, two is one, and three is two. You need at least two. I want everything to be backed up twice, which means it exists in three places. So what that means for me is that I write my scripts and notes in plain text files and save them in my Dropbox. My PDFs for the marriage paperwork are also in my Dropbox folder. That Dropbox folder is accessible on my iPad, iPhone, and MacBook, which I’ll kind of classify as one - secondly it exists on the Dropbox servers, and thirdly, I have a computer in my office - a Synology server - that keeps a backup of all my Dropbox files. That way if Dropbox goes offline or if it shuts down or whatever, all my Dropbox files are in my office - and I can access my Synology remotely. As for devices, I have an iPad and an iPhone, both of which can be used to read my documents and also both can be used to sign documents in Notability. So if my iPad was broken or whatever could happen, I can revert to my iPhone.
Talking about backups, I have my MacBook backing up to a Time Machine external hard drive and also I pay $5 a month to back up my computer to Backblaze.
So at this time, a client's marriage paperwork exists on my Mac, my iPad, maybe an iPhone, on my Synology server, in the Dropbox cloud, and in the Backblaze cloud. I trust my multiple secure locations over paper. Paper gets wet, can get lost, can tear.
Now the hard thing to wrap all of this up in - is that all of these services should be very secure. They should use different passwords - I recommend using a password manager app - and each one should be using two-factor authentication.
My data goal is that my “carry kit” of my MacBook, iPhone, and iPad, can be stolen/broken/lost and I experience no data loss. I might experience financial loss, but not business or data loss. Secondly, if my house is compromised or affected by fire or flood, once again there is no data loss, just financial loss. Thirdly, if the internet ceases to exist, then I have my office and my carry kit.
Overkill, yes. But am I on A Current Affair? No.
### Remote witnessing of NOIMS - help make it permanent!
This post is now out of date, for the latest news on the remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms visit this page.
As everyone knows, we're currently able to witness signatures on NOIMs remotely, via a platform such as Zoom or FaceTime. This has been an absolute saviour for a lot of celebrants, not only allowing them to continue working while being infected with COVID, but also simply saving them and their couples the time of travelling to meet each other for a simple signature.
This modification to the Marriage Act 1961 is due to end on 31 December 2022, at which time we'll go back to the couples having to sign the NOIM "in the presence of" an authorised witness. That, quite frankly, would suck.
So what do we do about it? We're suggesting a two-pronged approach:
The Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Attorney-General's Department has indicated they are supportive of making this change permanent, but they need evidence from us about how it's been so useful and why it should stay. Please email them directly (marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au) with your reasons for keeping this change in place.
Most changes to legislation require a member of parliament to put forward an amendment. I'll be emailing the following to my local Federal MP, and I would encourage you to do the same - it can't hurt to lobby as many people as possible for this change! Feel free to copy my text, I don't mind! Just pop it on your letterhead or in an email from your celebrant email address. You can find the contact details for your local Federal MP here: https://www.aph.gov.au/Senators_and_Members/Guidelines_for_Contacting_Senators_and_Members
Dear XXX
I am writing to ask that you consider putting forward an amendment to the Marriage Act 1961 to make permanent a temporary modification allowing Notices of Intended Marriage to be witnessed remotely.
Since 22 December 2021 Notices of Intended Marriage have been able to be witnessed remotely under a temporary modification via COVID response legislation
This legislation is due to be repealed on 31 December 2022
Making this modification permanent would have significant benefits for both marrying couples and celebrants across Australia.
Background
Under section 42 of the Marriage Act 1961 (“the Act”), couples wishing to marry in Australia must lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) with their chosen celebrant no less than one month and no more than 18 months before the planned marriage. Sections 42(2)(c) and 42(2)(d) of the Act require the NOIM to be signed by the parties to the marriage “in the presence of” one of a list of authorised witnesses. This requires couples wishing to marry to visit an authorised witness in person to sign this document, a requirement that is out of step with how legal documents are signed in many other industries.
At the beginning of the COVID outbreak it became impossible for prospective marrying parties in all States and Territories in Australia to visit an authorised witness to have their NOIM witnessed due to lockdown requirements. This caused considerable issues particularly for couples looking to marry as soon as possible.
We lobbied the Commonwealth Attorney-General’s Department (responsible for policy issues relating to the Marriage Act) to arrange for NOIMs to be able to be witnessed via electronic means (such as Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, etc) to alleviate these issues. After almost two years, this was finally implemented via a temporary modification to the Marriage Act 1961 under the Coronavirus Economic Response Package (Modifications – Statutory Declarations and Notices of Intention to Marry) Determination 2021.
Under this determination, since 22 December 2021 the requirement to sign the NOIM “in the presence of” an authorised witness has been replaced with the ability for parties to sign the NOIM “under the observation (whether or not by means of a facility that enables audio and visual communication between persons in different places) of” an authorised witness.
In practice this means that parties and celebrants can have a Zoom call where the parties sign the NOIM while the celebrant watches them do so; the parties can then scan or photograph the NOIM and email or text it to the celebrant, and the celebrant can then sign the document on page 4 in the witness box.
This temporary modification is due to end on 31 December 2022 when item 1 of Schedule 5 to the Coronavirus Economic Response Package Omnibus (Measures No. 2) Act 2020 is due to be repealed.
The ability for celebrants to witness signatures on NOIMs via software such as Zoom has now been in place for more than seven months, and it has been of huge benefit to both celebrants and marrying couples, not only in managing this process when one or the other has COVID, but also generally allowing couples and celebrants to save time and money travelling to meet each other. This has been particularly beneficial for celebrants in regional and rural areas, and those who work with interstate couples, but even celebrants in metropolitan areas report having more time to spend with their families because they’re not spending so much time travelling to meet with couples to sign this document.
Every other part of a marriage celebrant’s role preceding the marriage ceremony can be undertaken online: meetings to assess consent, get to know a couple and work with them to create their marriage ceremony; business documentation such as contracts and invoices; drafting and sending ceremony scripts; and even ceremony rehearsals.
There are multiple other ways the Marriage Act 1961 could be modernised, but this is the most pressing issue at this stage. I would be glad to discuss other potential modifications at your convenience.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions.
Yours sincerely
Celebrant Name
Commonwealth-Registered Marriage Celebrant
DO NOT PUT YOUR A NUMBER HERE!
Let us know in the comments when you've done either or both of the above actions, and let's all hope we can get this across the line!
### Happy Podcast New Year!
We know, we know, we've been away for a whole year, but we're back! In this episode we talk about where we're both at in July 2022, and the major things that have happened in celebrancy and at the Celebrant Institute in the last 12 months:
new forms released 1 September 2021
changes to compulsory OPD
new Cert IV in Celebrancy released
new PD options released
amazing meeting with the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section - email marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au with your examples of why being able to witness signatures on NOIMs over Zoom should be made permanent
We're hoping to release more regular episodes in the coming months - let us know if there's anything you think we should talk about!
### A lesson from Kobe Bryant for celebrants
Starting from zero is hard. I've found that creating from scratch, staring at a blank Word document, or an empty notepad, is the hardest work, like pushing a boulder uphill it requires you to muster everything inside of you.
It's a question new celebrants pose to us here at the Celebrant Institute every week: how to get started.
Here's the tip, and every celebrant has done it - as much as they:
will stridently deny it, and
whine about other celebrants doing it.
All the best creatives, creators, and artists have done it.
Some call it inspiration, some call it remixing. I'm going to call it what it is: stealing. You should do it. In a creative context, stealing means getting inspired by someone else's ideas, way of thinking, or actions. They then use those ideas in combination with their own skills and experience to create something. brand new.
Without a struggle I could sit here and list all the greats that have done it, like Steve Jobs, but instead here's a story about one of the greatest basketball players of all time.
Kobe Bryant.
The late Lakers legend admitted more than once that he looked up to Michael Jordan. Kobe wanted to be the best, and that's why he set his eyes on Jordan, the greatest of all time. Early on he stole Mike's moves. The jump shot, the post moves, the competitive mentality. Over time, he developed his own skills and style of play. But he started by stealing, and he still ended up as one of the greatest players ever. Kobe pretended to be like Michael Jordan, his hero and ended up being an inspiration to an entire generation.
Stealing is different to copying. Stealing is taking someone else's possession and making it your own. Copying is far less creative.
Don't copy, but steal. Steal from all of us. Steal from Sarah, from me, from celebrants you look up to, celebrants down the road from you. Steal far and steal wide. Don't copy us, but look at what we do and take that inspiration, remix it, and make it yours.
Austin Kleon has written a great book called "Steal Like an Artist" and wrote:
“Nobody is born with a style or voice. In the beginning, we learn by pretending to be our heroes.”
Who is your Jordan? And what can you steal from them?
### This is your permission to raise your fees in 2022
Sarah and my accounting software of choice - Xero - just emailed us that our Xero plan (the standard) is increasing in price by $5 a month to $59. Fuel costs a lot more. Lettuce costs a lot more. Housing, rent, and mortgages are costing more than they did one and even two years ago. The value of my home has almost doubled since we bought it four years ago.
This is the inflationary nature of the economy of the society we choose to live in. Things generally increase in price every year, and you should too.
In 2018 we saw the milestone of 70 years of inflation tracking - the consumer price index - being tracked the Australian Bureaus of Statistics. Every year, with the exception of a very small handful, saw the consumer price index (CPI) increase every year. The last few years have been not as aggressive, but this year we're looking at more than 5% of change in the CPI.
So accounting for nothing else, if you were charging $100 for something a year ago and you're still charging $100 for it today, you're actually earning less. Not the same. Not more. Less.
If you wanted to earn the same you'd be charging $105.
I'm guessing that no $100 celebrants are reading this blog though, so to do your own math, get a calculator and type in your fee, then the multiply button (x) and 1.05 to find out what your fee would be to remain at a barely similar rate of price.
On top of the boring inflation talk you've also just survived a pandemic, so many reschedules, cancellations, refunds, and you're still standing. Even just this month I've talked to five celebrants who have retired this month, let alone the celebrants that have retired from celebrancy in the last two years.
The fact you are still standing and still going strong means you hold value in the marketplace. You provide a valuable and meaningful service. You are worth more.
I'm guessing you've spent time on professional development in the last two years as well? You've gotten better at your craft, you've improved. You're smarter, more productive, more efficient. You're bringing more value to weddings and more value to your clients. And if you haven't improved, then get on it - it's a market of excellence and you can only improve yourself, a good place to start is our professional development courses.
Your fee is a monetary representation of that value. You deserve more, and you should charge more, and if you aren't then you're ripping yourself off - not your clients.
It's time to charge more, at least 5% more, if not a lot more, because I'm guessing you haven't raised it for a few years? The rising tide lifts all boats, so pull up anchor and let's set sail to sustainable business town and buy some vegetables!
### How did I do 27 weddings in one month?
A few responses to my May 2022 email (check your spam if you don't get my monthly emails or join here) about having done 27 marriage ceremonies this month prompted questions from celebrants across our Australian membership base and even internationally.
Donna asked "how do you juggle that many" and others asked how I got that many bookings and other questions around the zone.
How did I get 27 weddings in one month? Well, first of all, two of them were last-minute additions because a Celebrant Institute member got the spicy cough, and only two were fresh bookings or "new money" if you like. The rest were layovers from the two years of Covid - many couples on their third or fifth date — plus there were a handful of flood postponements as well. In the end, I've committed to just getting them done.
That said, I've always operated at a high level of work in my business, and I've always had these words from Kevin Kelly in my mind when getting there:
“Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.”
[If you don't know who Kevin Kelly is, you should read his 103 bits of advice blog post]
I'm not busy, I'm doing what I want to do. Fair enough that this season has been tough and I would've preferred to have done less work this last month, but I never want to stop being a celebrant. I've found my best task. I'm really good at this, and if you're reading this I'm willing to bet that you are too.
When I say I'm good at this though, please hear my heart. I'm not winning awards (mainly because I'm not willing to participate in awards) or gaining accolades. My measure of whether I'm "really good at this" is based on three things:
How do I feel about the work I do? Do I think it's valuable and important?
How do my couples feel about my work? Do they think it's valuable and important?
How do their guests respond to my work?
Everyone else's opinion is lovely, but the first two are the main guiding lights for me. I try to ignore other people when it comes to my work. There are people I'll listen to, like Sarah Aird for example - my co-founder here on the Celebrant Institute - but it's because we have a relationship built on trust, if she tells me I'm wrong, she's right. I'll listen to may wife, and trusted wedding industry colleagues, but most other people - like other celebrants, my friends and family - don't know my couples and they don't know what is important about my work for those people.
So, I've developed a product — my celebrancy service — in a way that utilises my skills and talents, my resources and my abilities, and then assessed whether there is a market for it. Having identified a market for my unique offering I talk to that market and that market only.
I think the biggest mistake celebrants make is just doing what every celebrant does. You don't have to. You have permission to be yourself. You have permission to be unique and to offer something new and different to the wedding industry.
You, and I, have permission to not write a script for a wedding.
You, and I, have permission to present uniquely in a marriage ceremony.
You, and I, have permission to offer extra services at a wedding.
You, and I, have permission to design unique websites, social media feeds, advertising, and marketing, complete unlike and different from what every other celebrant creates.
You, and I, have permission to be ourselves.
How did I do 27 weddings in a month? I know myself, what's important to me, plus how I work, I know what's important to my couples, and I moulded the month to make that work.
I had days when I didn't answer phone calls or emails so I could be with my family, and I stayed in hotels to minimise time on the road so I could get a good night's sleep. I ignored the status quo and brought ceremonies that I knew I could rock and that my couples would enjoy. I employed empathy so I could be present in the middle of tricky situations without being stressed.
That's how, and why, I charge my fee - because I'm doing important work that my couples value. I find couples that will value my work, and I tell them about it.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc9eyo8vpe8/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
That's how you do 27 weddings in a month.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cco1UDxP7UT/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://www.instagram.com/p/CccLwXnPyeg/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
### The law of social proof and celebrancy
When unsure how to act, people copy others, outsourcing their own decisions to others. Not only is this true when choosing a shop, or a cafe, but in weddings as well.
When Sylvan Goldman invented shopping trolleys, people didn’t want to use them because they seemed silly. So Goldman paid actors to use trolleys in his stores, and everyone quickly followed the trend. Can you imagine a shopping centre without trolleys today!? All it took was a few paid actors and it took off.
When the Kyle and Jackie O radio show first launched on breakfast radio in Sydney they had a team of paid staff in a room every morning "calling in" to the radio show for the first few months to show listeners what a listener to Kyle and Jackie O sounded like. What kind of stories they told, how they told them. Australia's most popular radio show ever was born from that.
So in your celebrancy business, how can you employ social proof?
Here's some simple things I do:
I'll casually mention, in a very humble and under assumed manor, that I've "just been at a wedding" or similar phrases when I am talking to couples enquiring with me.
Tag venues, couples, vendors, in social media stories and posts in the hope they might re-share them. Mention to them you'll do this so they. keep an eye out for them.
Request reviews in the places they matter, Google and Facebook, so people are always seeing recent reviews.
Make sure you post on social media regularly so if someone views your page the last post wasn't 12 months ago.
Share behind the scenes content online, showing how the sausage is made.
And if those things don't work, maybe consider paying actors to book you. I'm joking.
### Do I need more than one domain name for my website?
Elaine asks:
When I obtained my Domain Name of domainname.com.au from Melbourne IT when I first started back in 2014, I was ‘advised’ to secure domainname.net and domainname.com too, to prevent ‘others’ from setting up a similar website.
The .com.au is the one I use for my website and my email is elaine@domainname.com.au.
I think now I’ve been paying quite a lot to keep two other domain names for no real good reason.
Would really appreciate advice (if possible) as to whether it would be ok to 'ditch' the other two, to save $s or whether the original advice about securing them is sound.
In case it's not obvious, I've edited Elaine's actual domain names for this article.
The quick answer: You don't need more than one domain name, drop the others.
The long answer: Maybe you need them?
Here's five reasons you might want to hold onto old, other, or extra domain names:
Legacy brands
I used to brand my business "Married By Josh", until everyone did the same gag, so I moved to just plain old Josh Withers. But That old brand still hangs around, websites linked to me, people had my old email address "hello@marriedbyjosh.com" and clients knew me as that name. So I'll hang on to marriedbyjosh.com for the longest time.
Search engine optimisation
A celebrant retired last year and they let a strong domain name expire, so I grabbed it and redirected it to my website. In search engine optimisation world - SEO - you buy old domain names and hold on to them for backlink powers. This answer also sits with the first, because if you have a legacy brand it's probably been linked to.
Secure your brand name
Years ago my wife Britt and I started a business called "The Pop-Up Wedding Co." and built a nice little business. Loads of other people thought it was a cool idea too so they bought other domain names around that brand and started their own. When we pivoted to The Elopement Collective, before I told a soul outside of my intimate friends group I bought every domain name under the sun that was linked to that name, plus we registered it as a trademark because securing that brand was important to us.
People mistype domain names
There is some wisdom in buying a .com because you also have the .com.au because honestly, sometimes people mistype things. Or they even just say the wrong thing. It's like that news website that people always quote by saying "I saw it on news dot com". I know for a fact you did not see anything on news.com because that's owned by ZDNet and isn't a functioning website. You saw the news on news.com.au but you say news.com ... if that was my business and brand I'd be stressed.
Bad actors impersonate people and businesses online
People do bad things, so sometimes securing the .com of a .com.au means you reduce the number of ways people can impersonate you. I, for example have joshwithers.com.au but I don't own the NZ version, joshwithers.co.nz, so someone could try and impersonate me by registering that domain name and some people might be tricked.
In the end you can spend your life's savings trying to protect against these measures, but you could also not worry about any of them and live a good life a few dollars better off a year.
### A ceremony as a series of 'riffs', that's how I'm unscripted
When you mention my name to another celebrant, apparently the most common thing people talk about is how I'm unscripted. Some people call it ad lib. I would never describe my method of creating and delivering a ceremony as ad lib or unscripted.
It's a series of riffs.
A series of bits.
A series of little bites of ceremony I've been crafting for years and I have them all in my head well-rehearsed and well-categorised, and when I'm planning a ceremony I assemble the bits - the riffs - together to bring a ceremony that is personal, personable, and epic for this couple.
Obviously there are new elements to each wedding. Bits about how they met or what their story is obviously is freshly worked on, memorised, and inserted amongst the rest of the bits.
One of my favourite authors and speakers, Seth Godin, was interviewed today and he spoke about this exact type of presentation:
I’m constantly trying out new pieces riffs for my talks by speaking to people like you.
For example, I just taught someone in my office how to juggle today. I’ve tried that riff on hundreds of people face to face. I’m not directly practicing a talk. I’m not saying, “Here, let me practice my Keynote.”
Instead, I’m taking time to teach people what I’m seeing about the world.
When I do that with someone face to face, over and over again, I can create a feedback loop that helps me understand what it does to someone’s insides when I teach them something. And that’s what helps me figure out if it should go into a talk.
I’m constantly asking myself, Why did that touch people? Then I put a bunch of these stories and riffs together and that’s my talk.
So imagine you get all of the ceremonies you've ever made, and broke out each little chunk of ceremony - in a regular 25 minutes ceremony there might be 10 or more riffs, or bits. Extract them, and all of them, and put them on cards. You memorise each bit, give each bit a title, and then your ceremony becomes a list of titles - instead of a ten page script.
My brain works like this, and appreciates it, and maybe yours would too?
Seth's way of approaching the world appeals to my sensibilities. In the interview he mentions a technique - not dissimilar to my own method - that he uses if there's no projector/screen.
Seth goes on to say,
What will happen when I'm giving a talk, is I need to be able to communicate to people in a way that makes me fully present.
That's the clinger. That's why I am so committed to this method, the riff method: to be present in the ceremony. Instead of having my head in a book (or a Kindle) I'm so present with my couple and their guests.
You should try it some time.
### Computer and internet security for a modern marriage celebrant
Every day I wake up and check the technology news - as is my habit - and scroll through the headlines I'm expecting to find a marriage celebrant in there. Why?
When a couple books with us they hand over a wide amount of personal data. Then when they sign a notice of intent with us, even more.
At time of booking
A quick security audit of my customer journey says that I collect the following data on booking:
Full names
Email addresses
Phone numbers
Residential addresses
Dates of birth
Wedding date and venue location
Credit card info (although by the time it gets to me, I only get the last four digits of their card number and what type of credit card it is)
Favourite ice cream flavour (which sounds unimportant, but personable data like this helps hackers in social engineering)
Other vendors (who are also collecting personal data on them, including photos)
At time of notice of intended marriage
Then once we start preparing a notice of intent we add in:
clarification on full legal names,
occupations,
marital status, and former marriage details if previously married,
ID numbers (passport, drivers license, birth certificate),
parent names at birth and parent names today plus countries of birth,
gender/gender identity,
places of birth,
and possibly scans/photos of ID,
their signatures.
After their wedding
Then after you get home from their wedding and in the coming weeks:
lots of photos of the couple and their guests,
their wedding vows,
more variants of their signatures,
the names and signatures of their witnesses,
possibly a registration number with a BDM for their marriage paperwork,
even the ability to order a copy of their offical certificate of marriage.
If a malicious actor got their hands on that data, they can wreck havoc. They have enough data to call their mobile phone service provider and say they lost their phone, can you send a new SIM to us so they can interrupt phone calls and text messages. They have enough information to call a bank and reset an internet banking password and access funds. That hacker would have enough information to socially manipulate other people in their life to send money or take actions.
If a hacker accessed your computer, they could steal your couples' identities. Which is bad enough if you're a regular Joe. But what if you marry a CEO, or a politician, or a celebrity. That data is pure gold to a hacker.
You, and I, hold a great responsibility in receiving and using this data.
On top of all this, the data is most likely contained in your email account, on your computer, in a cloud storage platform. Are these secure?
If you're wondering whether your personal data has already been exposed in a previous hack on another company, go to haveibeenpwned.com and enter your email and then phone number to get an inside look into what private data has been made public. Then go to haveibeenpwned.com/Passwords to see if your password is original.
Let's get secure.
Security 101 for celebrants
Here are some steps I am begging you all to take to secure yourself online.
Step 1: Enable Multi Factor Authentication. 2FA/MFA solves most problems, it's simply the act of having another thing on top of your username and password. Put it on your internet banking, all email accounts, website hosting, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram everything that lets you. Use 1Password, Apple Keychain, Microsoft, or Google Authenticator (some sites only use one or the other). This is the most important (and easiest) thing you can do. If there's a choice between getting a text message 2FA code or using an authenticator app, choose the app. Text messages can be hacked more easily than the apps.
Step 2: Use a Password Manager. I use 1Password for Teams and that costs a few dollars a month, but if you're an Apple user the latest releases of the software have Keychain password manager built-in for free. Set it up ASAP and as you go to every website, change your damn passwords and give each service a unique password so when one service gets hacked, not all of your services are hacked. If you do one thing today it would be to use a password manager and give each important service in your business (email, website, domains, Facebook, banking, etc) a unique password.
Step 3: Review Access. Facebook is bad at allowing 3d party apps to sign in with your account. Go to "Facebook Settings" > "settings and privacy" > "apps and websites" and kill off everything that you aren't actively using right now. Never use Facebook or Google to log in to any website ever! Create new accounts and use your password manager to keep track. Do the same with your Google / Gmail, Youtube, Twitch, Instagram, Twitter, Apple ID, Spotify and any other "sign in using x" type account. If you have accounts like Metamask, review what has access to that ("connected sites").
Step 4: Adblock + Anti-Virus. Use Apple Safari or Firefox as your only browser and install "ublock origin" (and Lastpass!). Every other browser extension you should delete, unless you are 100% confident of what and who they are. For Anti-Virus,
if you're on Windows, only one I recommend is "Windows Defender" (the built in one). The rest are questionable at
best. If you're on Apple you don't need Antivirus, but always be aware of what you're installing.
Step 5: Physical Security. Who has access to your computer, tablet, and phone? Limit their access (use users accounts , passwords) so they can't get access to your files and get breached. Don't use free random/insecure WiFi for anything that you want kept secure. Make sure your home WiFi password is complex and isn't advertised or given out to others. Create a guest network if you need. If a website seems suss, it probably is. Don't log in! Don't click any links in SMS or Emails that you absolutely weren't expecting. Big one for spam prevention: Don't give any company your phone number or email address unless they absolutely need it (they almost never do). Who knows where that info is going? Learn to say no to sharing your own data because you are keeping other people's data safe. Does your computer have a secure and not-guessable password? Is your office locked?
Step 6: Delete Garbage. Delete apps off your phone if you don't need them. Review security permissions of the apps you
have left and kill off their access in your phone settings because they don't need it (no background refresh, no 3rd party tracking). Do the same on your PC or Mac why do you have all that crap installed?
Step 7: Audit. Ask a nerdy friend to audit you. Ask them to try and access personal data or client data without your help, either online or in your house. Or if you really want to attack this threat professionally, you'll want a security and privacy review or if you really want to go all out, a "pen test". A pen test is short for penetration test, and you basically ask professional and ethical hackers to hack you, or at least, to try and hack you. They'll report back on where your weaknesses and risks are. It can be pricey, but it can also keep you out of the news and out of court.
Friends of mine at Division 5 do a Cyber Security and Privacy Review from $3600, it's two days work for a team of professionals. You;'ll sit down with a professional, work out data held, and where it goes, and that it’s being managed properly according to the legislation that applies. Outcomes would be reduced risk and guidance on what could be done to continue to meet obligations and avoid being compromised. [Disclosure: There's no commercial deal here, they're just friends, and you're welcome to search for your own consultant].
Looking after your computer and internet security might seem like a lot of work. But imagine how much work it would be if you were hacked, and your clients' data was leaked. New federal privacy laws could see you funded up to $2.1 million dollarydoos.
I'd change my password and get a password manager to save $2.1 million dollars.
### There's Gold In Them Thar Questions
There's gold in the questions you get asked by other celebrants, people in the wedding industry, our clients, friends, and social media followers. The questions you're asked reveal the knowledge, experience, empathy, or assets you have - that others value. As they propose a question to you, they're signalling that you are a person who knows the answer.
This is such a position of strength.
Before you even answer, you have branded yourself, and promoted yourself, and your reputation is that of a person who knows the answer.
The questions they ask highlight problems the world thinks you can solve and expertise you have that others want.
Consider this: What was the underlying value people sought from you in their questions last week? And how might you be able to capitalise on it next week?
What blog posts can you write? Podcasts you can record? Videos you can make? Workshops you can hold?
### How to spy on other people's Facebook Ads
If you've been wanting a way to spy on what other people in the wedding industry are doing with their Facebook Ads, here's a very easy, open, and regulated way to do so.
Building an advert that works well is hard work, and honestly, the world doesn't need more ads, it needs helpful content. But you can pay to boost that content and in Meta/Facebook we call that an ad.
High-performing ads are challenging to create and require a lot of testing in terms of what your audience likes to see. Competitor's ad analysis is a smart way to know the winning strategies adopted by top brands of your industry. Your competitors have applied tons of resources into finding out their best-performing ads. So why not borrow the creative strategies from your competitor's high-performing ads and customise them according to your unique selling proposition.
This can help you reduce the time you spend experimenting and testing ads, and also help you stand out by creating new and fresh content instead of copying.
How to do it
Facebook has added a "Page Transparency" section to every page (which earlier used to be called "Info and Ads.")
Navigate to your someone's Facebook page and go to the About section. Scroll down until you see a "Page Transparency" section within the left-side column.
To get more information on a broader spectrum of ads, or to get to the same information through a different vector, you can visit the Meta Ads Library.
www.facebook.com/ads/library
There you can search for a specific Facebook Page name, or for a keyword.
### Rounded prices are better than unrounded for weddings
When it comes to pricing, and pricing yourself, there are so many contributing factors. The first is that you need to cover costs, the second that you need to make a profit - a wage, and the third that you make a surplus so you have buffer for the future, savings, and the ability to invest in your business.
Coming in from the side of that equation is a number of psychological pricing trains of thought. These include Charm Pricing, where you "reduce the left most number by one" or in other words you make a $3.00 product a $2.99 product; Prestige Pricing, where you round up to a simpler number like taking an $8.96 product to $10; Comparative Pricing or Anchor Pricing, where you environmentally surround a price with other prices to make it look good - like creating a $100 option and a $10 option either side of a $50 option you actually want them to take - anchoring that main product well and truly in a position of value.
But today I wanted to share some pricing psychology research from 2014 that I found interesting.
I'll be referencing Thomas McKinley's excellent email newsletter in this article, along with this paper from Journal of Consumer Research.
Thomas begins with this simple summary:
When people are buying based on their feelings (e.g. hedonic products such as food and fashion, a spa experience), use round prices (e.g. €15, $200).
When people are buying for rational reasons (e.g. utilitarian products such as a washing machine, business services), use non-rounded prices (e.g. €15.95, $229.50).
Your customers will have higher preferences for your product and will be more likely to buy.
Feel free to read through Thomas's report and the original paper, both linked above, but here's the downlow: if a purchase/booking is hedonic - that is, in regards to pleasurable feelings, like a wedding - a rounded price to a whole number, or a moderately rounded number is more likely to appeal to the purchaser.
An example of a less desirable price for a wedding purchase: $1093 for a celebrant.
An example of a more desirable price for a wedding purchase: $1190 for a celebrant.
An example of a highly desirable price for a wedding purchase: $1200 for a celebrant.
Please don't take that number as a suggested price for a celebrant - any number used there will offend someone who charges more, or less - but take the lesson away and apply it to your own price. After all, your price is part of your story.
### A story for celebrants finding their tribe like Yeti coolers did
Before Yeti created a $5 million cooler and adventure brand, the icebox/cooler market (aka the "esky" market, despite Esky being a brand) was a a low-cost and cheap product market.
Chris Hladczuk documents their story in a recent release of his email newsletter which I recommend subscribing to.
How did they make money in a notoriously cheap and low-margin market?
The issue is that a premium cooler costs $100+ to make.
So YETI ends up selling coolers for $400 when the competition is selling for $40.
How do you compete?
They don’t.
But it creates an opportunity for a 10x product for power users that costs 10x the price.
Another example is Canada Goose jackets.
Spend $1,000 on a coat but be warm enough for an Iditarod in Alaska (and look cool doing it).
The premise in Chris's argument is that there are enough people in the cooler market that actively don't want to buy a cheap cooler, they actively desire a high-quality and expensive cooler. They see the cheap prices and don't want them, they are searching for a cooler that is high priced and brings them high value. It's not about competing with the cheap products, but standing at the other end of the market providing high value.
Find your believers and be where your believers are: Whichever market you are working in - I'm imagining that most people reading this are talking about weddings - identify what the high value position looks like, and where are those people. Which groups are they in? Which events are they attending? What are they reading or listening to? Go there. Chase them. Look for them. Be them. Let them identify with you, as a customer of yours, as a person who sees value in what you provide.
### Other avenues for networking and referrals
In his book Perennial Seller, Ryan Holiday says:
I've always found that a critical part of attracting influencers is to look for people who aren't besieged by requests. Authors are inundated with requests for blurbs from other authors; meanwhile, generals academics, and CEOs are asked much more rarely.
Who would be better to go after then?
Try to find the people least likely to get a request from someone like you, and approach them first, instead of going where everyone else is going.
Be bold and brash and counterintuitive not only in how you create your work, but also in who you use to market it.
I wonder how many avenues for networking, referrals, and help, us celebrants are leaving on the table?
We're always keen to talk about getting referrals from wedding venues, wedding planners, and funeral homes - for their respective areas of work - but who else could we network with for mutual benefit? I also wonder if we are all just marketing where everyone else is marketing and we're not taking risks in marketing where no-one else is? We're all so quick to ask if a wedding expo works, or if a wedding directory works. What was the last educated gamble you took to go where everyone else wasn't going? That's literally been the success to my own business.
Here's a list of ten I can think of today, if I missed some, list yours in the comments.
Advertising on traditional outlets like TV, radio, newspapers. Everyone is deserting them, but people still watch TV or read the paper. Maybe there's an advertising deal that works for you?
Networking with other vendors, and finding ways to bring them value and developing relationship, not so they refer you, but so they know you, and referral comes naturally - as a result of relationships.
Sponsoring community events, sports teams, or community groups, to build rapport in your community.
Attending small, unpopular, wedding expos or events - the people behind them are trying to make them successful and your colleagues are probably avoiding them.
Provide white labeled content for wedding venues, in the forms of video or written pieces, about marriage law, NOIMs, and other aspects their clients would benefit from.
Find non-wedding industry publications that still talk about weddings, marriage, lifestyle topics - like magazines or blogs that cover weddings but aren't actually wedding blogs.
Keep an eye on media and blogs that talk about weddings and be the kind and generous expert in the comments fields.
Be in contact with public relations firms and media relations groups on being an expert on weddings for local radio, TV, and news, so when an opportunity arises you're ready to be the talking head.
Apply for reality TV shows or other talent opportunities on TV and radio to become a known person.
Become the guru in your local community on weddings and marriage law. Look for speaking and writing opportunities everywhere and anywhere, but maintain humility and generosity.
### When the celebrant gets sick mid-ceremony...
As celebrants, we talk and worry and plan a lot about what we'll do if a guest or a member of the wedding party or one of the couple gets sick mid-ceremony. Many of us have first aid qualifications so we'll have some basic idea of what to do. I've run OPD sessions on this topic, and I cover it in my Cert IV training.
What we don't ever talk about is what happens when the celebrant gets sick mid-ceremony. We might joke about it being our worst nightmare, we feel dreadful for the few of us who will admit that it happened to them, but I would argue we don't seriously talk about it enough, and we certainly don't make plans.
Well, on Saturday 22 January 2022, my worst nightmare came true: the heat got to me (it was about 32 degrees and quite humid), and I vomited and almost passed out mid-ceremony. Luckily I don’t think anyone saw the vomiting part as I was sitting with my back to the ceremony space by then, but I sat out for what felt like forever but was probably about five minutes (I have no clear idea of how long it actually was) and it was truly awful. I had to get my parents to come pick me up because it really wasn’t safe for me to drive home.
I managed to hand my script to the best man, saying "I need you to do the next bit" as I walked away from the ceremony space. Luckily Janelle from Wedding Hire Melbourne was there (because she had done the styling and was running a champagne bar after the ceremony), and she was bringing me water as a guest was bringing me a chair. I managed to give various instructions from my vomit chair ("the vow cards are next, they're on the signing table"), and Janelle looked after me, standing between me and the guests so no one could see me losing my lunch, and having her staff member bring me ice water tea towels for the back of my neck and extra water for me to drink. I got back up for the ring ceremony (to a lovely round of applause from the guests) and finished the wedding.
Guests kept rushing up afterwards to check if I was okay and tell me how well I’d managed, what a consummate professional I was, which was really lovely, and apparently they were asking the grooms all night how I was doing, but I tell you, it was bloody awful.
The vulnerability of being that sick in front of 90 people in the middle of Carlton Gardens, not knowing if the vomiting would ever end or if I would actually pass out (I think I came close twice) was terrifying and not an experience I wish to repeat.
I’ve done ceremonies in much hotter weather and managed (although felt pretty awful when I got to the car) but I’m not match fit - I only did two big ceremonies last summer, what with Covid and focusing on my training work (and it wasn't particularly hot in Melbourne last summer anyway), and so far this summer there's only been a handful - this was my second in heat. Plus the last 15 months have been not great health wise for me anyway, and I’m sure that didn’t help.
I tell you all of this not to garner sympathy but to share with you what I have learned from the experience and how I'm changing my practice going forward:
my usual arriving an hour before the ceremony starts is too early in heat like that. On Saturday I was even earlier than normal - Janelle rang me when she arrived at 2.50pm (5pm ceremony) to tell me the big monthly anti-vax anti-everything protest had made its way to Carlton Gardens and there were people and cops everywhere. I was worried about traffic and parking so I arrived about 3.30pm. The protesters were leaving as I arrived, so the wedding wasn't impacted, but arriving so early meant I was outside for 90 minutes before the ceremony started. Half an hour would have been plenty to get set up and I need to get comfortable with that
working in public gardens in heat like that is very different from working outdoors at a venue. Apart from one memorable ceremony at a beach (after which I vowed never to do another beach wedding again), I've only done weddings in heat at venues. At a venue, you can go inside for a respite from the heat, and there's an easily accessible bathroom where you can splash water on your face and your hands and your wrists. I had none of that on Saturday; sure, I could have walked up to the museum but the walk up the hill to get inside would have probably done me in as quickly as just standing in the heat. Another reason for only arriving half an hour before start time.
I was so lucky I had a written script and could just hand it over. I understand all the reasons Josh has for not using a script, but this was another reason I was pleased to have one.
I was extra lucky to have run a rehearsal the week before the ceremony, so wedding party all knew basically what needed to happen and when. When I said “the vow cards are next, they're on the signing table,” they knew what I meant because I’d shown them the vow cards at rehearsal and demonstrated how to hold them and the microphone etc etc etc. I will never again begrudge the time spent at a rehearsal; I think this experience would have been much messier if we hadn’t done that.
I now have a little bag of chemist jelly beans that will always stay in my ceremony bag. There was a first aider in the audience who came to help out and she kept asking if we had any sugar or orange juice. After the ceremony she recommended getting some jelly beans because that tiny sugar rush can make all the difference to a light head.
I’m going to get an insulated bottle holder that carries two bottles and always have an extra bottle of water and a bottle of Gatorade or similar with me. It’s another thing to carry but I think it will be worthwhile. Plus we needed an extra bottle of water to pour over my pool of vomit to get rid of it as much as possible.
A celebrant has recommended a cooling neck tie and I'm off to buy a couple of those today; I think they will make a huge difference. Sure, they're not very pretty, but to wear one while I'm setting up and packing down I think will help a lot.
I’m sure more things will occur to me during the next few days, and if any of you have any suggestions, throw them at me in the comments. We have to take care of ourselves and each other, and I hope my awful experience can have learnings for all of you.
### Preparing for the inevitable re COVID
I think it's becoming pretty clear that we're all either going to catch COVID-19 or (at the very least) be subject to isolation due to being a close contact of a positive case. For the type of work we do, even having to isolate for the 24 hours it should take to get your test result back (and it's way longer in most parts of Australia at the moment) can mean not being able to perform a wedding or a funeral or other event. So how should we prepare for the inevitable to make the process of transferring an event to another celebrant as seamless as possible?
While I can't tell you what YOU should do, I can tell you what I'm doing and have done. Here's my steps to COVID preparation.
NB: all of these assume that the transfer is happening at the last minute, in the days or week leading up to the ceremony; for transfers with a longer lead time there are other things at play, but this article is about COVID illness or isolation, so last-minute stuff.
Marriage documentation
I'm scanning all signed NOIMs and attaching them to the BDM RIO record. That way, if I need to transfer a marriage I can simply use the transfer function in RIO to send the entire record AND the signed NOIM to the new celebrant. If you don't use one of the BDM online registration systems, at the very least I recommend you have all of your NOIMs scanned and saved to whatever file management system you use so that you can easily email the electronic version to the replacement celebrant; remember we no longer need the original paper version before we conduct the ceremony.
Couples' identity documents
A few days before the wedding I send my couples an email reminding them to take a photo of their identity documents (passport, birth certificate, driver's licence, divorce order, whatever is relevant) and have those photos available on their phone at the wedding. This way they don't have to remember to bring their original documents to the wedding, but the new celebrant can still marry them legally after seeing the electronic versions of the original documents.
Scripts and other files
I've always used Dropbox for file management; I can access my documents from any internet-connected device, and they're also stored on my computer for easy access. Dropbox makes it easy to share folders or single documents with other people by simply creating a link to email or even text to someone. I can therefore share all documents relating to a single event in one simple transaction. Of course you can email documents too, but sometimes there are files that need to be shared that are too large for email, so a cloud system like Dropbox or Google Drive comes in handy.
Other celebrants
I have always had a large network of celebrants I can rely on, and right now it's more important than ever to cultivate a group that you would be comfortable handing events to if you couldn't be there. My biggest piece of advice is to have the conversations about "hey, would you be prepared to be part of my contingency plan?" and "how do you think we should split the fee?" NOW. Figure that shit out before it happens so you're not scrambling to make decisions in the moment. You might need to sometimes work for less money than you usually charge. We need to work together right now for the good of the clients, and if that means you need to do a ceremony for someone else a bit cheaper than you usually would, please do it; they would do it for you too.
My network has generally agreed that a 50/50 split of whatever the first celebrant has charged is fair. For example, for weddings, the first celebrant has done the marketing, won the work, had possibly multiple meetings with the couple, written the ceremony, done the NOIM and other legal paperwork, sighted identity documents and provided advice to the couple, and possibly attended a rehearsal. The second celebrant has to check all of the legal paperwork and sight identity documents, format the script into whatever form they need to perform it on the day, possibly attend a rehearsal, attend and perform the ceremony, register the marriage, and, most importantly, take on all the legal responsibility for the conduct of the marriage. To me and my network, that's a fair 50/50 split of the work.
Please, please, please don't make your clients get involved in the money stuff or any of the other practicalities. If you have to transfer an event at the last minute, assure your couple you're dealing with everything and someone will turn up for them (I always tell me couples the new celebrant might not be quite as awesome as me, but they would be very close!). You should have a sub-contracting clause written into your contract to allow you to send another celebrant to an event if you are unavailable.
UPDATE MARCH 2022
Okay, it seems we've now settled on a one-third/two-third split rather than 50/50: the first celebrant keeps two-thirds of the fee, and the second celebrant gets one-third to jump in at the last minute.
Tell someone the plan
With COVID illness and/or isolation it's highly likely you'll be able to implement your contingency plans yourself. Even if you test positive, it's unlikely that you'll get severely sick before you've had a chance to put these things in place: this seems to be an illness that gets worse over time rather than starting with the most severe illness. Having said that, it's valuable that someone you trust knows who your contingency celebrants are and what the plan is. My parents know there is a document in the top drawer of my filing cabinet (that's also been emailed to them) that has the phone numbers of three celebrants they could ring at any time. Those three celebrants have all agreed to be on the list so that in the unlikely event I am incapacitated, they could sweep in and manage my upcoming bookings. Make sure someone knows what your plan is should the worst happen.
That's all I've got. Let me know in the comments if there's anything else you think I should have thought of!
### Not-as-ongoing professional development
For the most recent information regarding ongoing professional development and OPD for Australian authorised civil celebrants visit celebrant.institute/opd
As 2021 draws to a close, so does an era of celebrant-industry-driven professional development. Here at the Celebrant Institute our 2021 ongoing professional development program wrapped up on the weekend and we're grateful for the thousands of celebrants who chose us for their own betterment - and for the fulfilment of their obligation to the Attorney-General's department in 2021 to complete four hours of OPD with an authorised registered training organisation and then one hour with the department's Marriage Celebrant Portal.
In 2022 that obligation remains, but is minimised to a department-only delivered "one to two" hours which you will complete through the infamous portal.
That means three things for Sarah and I in 2022.
In 2022 and beyond we need not worry about applying for, and delivering, a government-blessed professional development program. They're doing it themselves in "one to two hours".
In 2022 we can - and will - deliver an epic professional development program that will position you stronger and better to tackle the business goals and the art of celebrancy and give you an edge in the marketplace.
From 2022 we can work with people who want to develop, instead of celebrants who begrudgingly appear at the workshop because mum and dad told them to. So many stories. So little need to publish them publicly, but if you shout Sarah an orange juice, or me a whisky, we can share too many stories. Like the ones about the multiple celebrants who wanted to send an assistant along to do OPD for them.
Today we're proud to have delivered a really good OPD program. We're taking a break over the Christmas and New Year period, we'll be back into normal Celebrant Institute business mid-January, well before winter kicks in we're excited to show off, and launch, our new Certificate IV in Celebrancy that will really be a game changer, and once we have that locked and loaded we'll share with you our 2022 professional development program.
Of course here at the Celebrant Institute every day is a professional development day, and every day we're answering your questions that you send through at celebrant.institute/ask.
### Celebrants can witness NOIMs over the internet!
This post is now out of date, for the latest news on the remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms visit this page.
Breaking marriage law news - for the second time since 1961: Celebrants can witness NOIMs over the internet. You can start witnessing notices of intended marriage from the beach tomorrow.
In short
From 22 December 2021 you can witness the parties sign the Notice of Intended Marriage over an audio/video call, e.g. Zoom or FaceTime. Simples. You can send a couple their NOIM as a PDF, hopefully pre-filled with their correct information, call them on FaceTime or your video call app of choice, and watch them sign the form. Then they will scan the NOIM (using a scanner or a phone scanning app like Notes or Dropbox on your iPhone) and send it back to you, and you can then sign it with an ink or digital pen, and consider the NOIM received. The one month notice period begins on the day you receive their signed electronic Notice, and none of you had to leave the house and stick your tongues in each other's ears or however it is you catch the spicy cough.
In depth
The Attorney-General, Michaelia Cash, and the former Attorney-General had received recommendations for legislative changes in response to the Coronavirus pandemic - which only started more than 650 days ago - and the main one relevant to celebrants was the witnessing of signatures on Notices of Intended Marriage over a video call, like a FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, or WhatsApp call.
Until today the Marriage Act required Notices to be signed “in the presence of” a witness like a celebrant, JP, police officer, and others. The legal understanding of “in the presence of” meant physical presence, not digitally present.
From "the day after this instrument is registered" (registration: 21 December 2021, effective: 22 December 2021) until "the day on which item 1 of Schedule 5 to the Coronavirus Economic Response Package Omnibus (Measures No. 2) Act 2020 is repealed" the signatures on Notices can be witnessed over a video call.
You can look up the legislation yourself: Coronavirus Economic Response Package (Modifications—Statutory Declarations and Notices of Intention to Marry) Determination 2021.
The extract of the legislation on this topic reads: Paragraphs 42(2)(c) and (d) of the Marriage Act 1961 are varied in relation to notices signed in the relevant period by omitting “in the presence of” and substituting “under the observation (whether or not by means of a facility that enables audio and visual communication between persons in different places) of”.
The law does not specify which application or device to use, as long as you can see and hear them. So feel free to use FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Instagram, or whatever Google has these days.
The Attorney-General's Department will be releasing further guidance on this matter in the next 24 hours.
So feel free to start witnessing notices of intended marriage from the pool-side this Christmas, you've earned it.
The official word from Canberra
We write to advise that the Marriage Act 1961 has been temporarily modified due to COVID-19, to enable an authorised witness to remotely witness the signing of the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM). This is a temporary response to assist parties to the marriage meet the notification requirements given the continuing impact of the COVID pandemic.
The Coronavirus Economic Response Package (Modifications—Statutory Declarations and Notices of Intention to Marry) Determination 2021 (the Determination) which modifies theMarriage Act 1961 (the Marriage Act) commenced operation on 21 December 2021, and is the date from when authorised celebrants can begin witnessing signatures remotely. This arrangement will be in place until 31 December 2022, when the relevant legislative instrument will be repealed.
Under the Determination, an authorised witness may sign in the ‘Signature of witness box’ on page 4 of the NOIM, if they have observed the party signing the NOIM, whether or not by means of a facility that enables audio and visual communication between persons in different places. For example, this could include where the authorised witness has observed the signature of the party through videoconferencing facilities such as Skype or Zoom. Such NOIMs signed and witnessed remotely during the specified period should be accepted despite the note on page 2 of the NOIM stating that the ‘Notice must be signed in the physical presence of an authorised witness’. A NOIM must still be given to the authorised celebrant at least one month before the marriage is solemnised.
Please note that the locality requirements of witnesses have not been altered. As such authorised celebrants are only able to remotely witness the signature of parties signing the notice in Australia – see sections 42(2)(c) and (d) of the Marriage Act.
There are no changes to the requirement for the physical presence of all parties to the marriage, including the celebrant and two official witnesses, on the day of the marriage (see sections 41 and 44 of the Marriage Act).
Section 41 - A marriage shall be solemnised by or in the presence of an authorised celebrant who is authorised to solemnise marriages at the place where the marriage takes place.
Section 44 - A marriage shall not be solemnised unless at least 2 persons who are, or appear to the person solemnising the marriage to be, over the age of 18 years are present as witnesses.
There is also no change to the requirement that the declaration of no legal impediment be ‘made and subscribed’ before the authorised celebrant prior to the ceremony (see section 42(1)(c) of the Marriage Act).
The department will provide further information regarding the ending of the temporary facility to witness NOIMs remotely closer to the date of repeal of the relevant legislation.
Please contact us at marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au if you have any questions about the above.
### Marriage statistics 2020
It's one of your favourite nerd's favourite days: marriage statistics day! The statistics on marriages and divorces that occurred in 2020 have been released by the Australian Burearu of Statistics today, and I'm here with my annual summary.
The first thing to note is that for the first time the impacts of COVID on our industry are absolutely laid bare, and to be honest, the details are gut wrenching. It's nothing we didn't already know, and I guess in a way it's nice to have our trauma borne out by the numbers, but it's still pretty hideous reading. If you're triggered by talk of COVID and weddings, it's time for you to look away now.
The number of marriages occurring in January and February 2020 were in line with previous years. That's no surprise. 29 February 2020 was a Saturday, leading to a higher number of people choosing to marry on this special leap-year-only day than in previous leap years; it was the fifth most popular day to marry in 2020, after 10 October (10.10.2020 - unsurprising), 22 February, 14 March and 7 March.
Then March rolls around. The country shut down for the purposes of marriage around 25 March, from memory, so while the March numbers are lower than previous years, it's in April that we see the biggest dip. Over the last five years an average of 11,274 marriages took place in April; in 2020 only 3,245 marriages were registered, just 28.7% of a "normal" year. June had the lowest number of weddings of every month in 2020, which is normal, but had less than half the number of marriages "normally" registered in June.
Overall in Australia there was a decrease in marriage numbers of 30.6% from 2019. This is the largest decrease EVER reported by the ABS (since reporting started in 1901), and the total number of marriages registered in 2020, 78,989, is the lowest number of marriages since 1961.
Unsurprisingly, the impact of COVID was worst felt here in Victoria due to the absolute ban on weddings during our second wave in August-October. For the entire year, weddings in Victoria were down 41.9% compared to 2019. That's a huge number, and while it's difficult to see, as I said above, it's nice to know we weren't dreaming it.
Interestingly the proportion of marriages that occurred between same-sex couples was lower in 2020 than in the previous two years, only 3.7% in 2020 compared to 4.8% in 2019 and 5.5% in 2018. I don't know how to explain that. More female same-sex couples (61.4%) than male same-sex couples (38.5%) married. NB: the ABS doesn't report on couples where one or both members chose the X marker in the sex question. Same sex couples are older on average than heterosexual couples, which doesn't mean much but I find interesting :)
The proportion of marriages occurring outside a religious institution remained exactly the same as 2019: 80.3% of all marriages were civil (whether performed by a celebrant or Registry Office).
I was talking with someone a few weeks ago about why registered relationships still exist when all couples can now marry in Australia. While the ABS doesn't report on detailed statistics for registered relationships, BDMs in States and Territories where registered relationships are still available (all except WA and NT) provide a count, and it showed that 19,055 relationships were registered across the country in 2020, a very small decrease compared to the 19,870 reported in 2019. Due to the lack of requirement for a ceremony to register a relationship, COVID did not impact this number. That's still a lot of registered relationships occurring every year, and I have no idea why! Anyone want to hazard a guess?
The divorce rate didn't drop in 2020, but given divorces can't take place until a couple has been separated for 12 months, divorces as a result of COVID pressures likely won't appear in the stats for another year or two.
There's a lot more information contained in the downloads available at the ABS website, things like how many people got married for the first time, were they born in Australia or overseas, how old they were, marriage rites by country of birth of couple, etc etc etc, but that stuff is less interesting to me. Go take a look if you're interested!
### Why I hate wedding awards: “I am in competition with no-one”
For over five years now I’ve crusaded against wedding industry awards. I don’t like them, I don’t enter them, and I try to convince my friends and colleagues to avoid them as well.
I understand how nice it feels to be awarded number one. If you sent me an email right now that said “Josh, you are my number one celebrant” I’d probably print it out and put it on the fridge next to one of Luna’s paintings, but the truth is, I believe that wedding industry awards are unhealthy and unhelpful for the wedding industry.
And this letter from Nick Cave to MTV helped me solidify the thought.
I’ll share the whole letter beneath, in it’s true all caps original format, but here’s what got me: Nick had been nominated for an MTV Music Award and he turned it away because:
of the competitive natured of the awards,
his music is unique,
his music is individual,
exists beyond the realms inhabited by those who would reduce things to mere measuring!!!!!!
he is in competition with no-one.
his muse is not a horse, and he is not in a horse race.
That’s why I hate the idea of all of us celebrants being lined up and numbered from best to worst. Our muse is not a horse and we are not in a horse race.
21 OCT 96
TO ALL THOSE AT MTV,
I WOULD LIKE TO START BY THANKING YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME OVER RECENT YEARS AND I AM BOTH GRATEFUL AND FLATTERED BY THE NOMINATIONS THAT I HAVE RECEIVED FOR BEST MALE ARTIST. THE AIR PLAY GIVEN TO BOTH THE KYLIE MINOGUE AND P. J. HARVEY DUETS FROM MY LATEST ALBUM MURDER BALLADS HAS NOT GONE UNNOTICED AND HAS BEEN GREATLY APPRECIATED. SO AGAIN MY SINCERE THANKS.
HAVING SAID THAT, I FEEL THAT IT’S NECESSARY FOR ME TO REQUEST THAT MY NOMINATION FOR BEST MALE ARTIST BE WITHDRAWN AND FURTHERMORE ANY AWARDS OR NOMINATIONS FOR SUCH AWARDS THAT MAY ARISE IN LATER YEARS BE PRESENTED TO THOSE WHO FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THE COMPETITIVE NATURE OF THESE AWARD CEREMONIES. I MYSELF, DO NOT. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN OF THE OPINION THAT MY MUSIC IS UNIQUE AND INDIVIDUAL AND EXISTS BEYOND THE REALMS INHABITED BY THOSE WHO WOULD REDUCE THINGS TO MERE MEASURING. I AM IN COMPETITION WITH NO-ONE.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MUSE IS A DELICATE ONE AT THE BEST OF TIMES AND I FEEL THAT IT IS MY DUTY TO PROTECT HER FROM INFLUENCES THAT MAY OFFEND HER FRAGILE NATURE.
SHE COMES TO ME WITH THE GIFT OF SONG AND IN RETURN I TREAT HER WITH THE RESPECT I FEEL SHE DESERVES — IN THIS CASE THIS MEANS NOT SUBJECTING HER TO THE INDIGNITIES OF JUDGEMENT AND COMPETITION. MY MUSE IS NOT A HORSE AND I AM IN NO HORSE RACE AND IF INDEED SHE WAS, STILL I WOULD NOT HARNESS HER TO THIS TUMBREL — THIS BLOODY CART OF SEVERED HEADS AND GLITTERING PRIZES. MY MUSE MAY SPOOK! MAY BOLT! MAY ABANDON ME COMPLETELY!
SO ONCE AGAIN, TO THE PEOPLE AT MTV, I APPRECIATE THE ZEAL AND ENERGY THAT WAS PUT BEHIND MY LAST RECORD, I TRULY DO AND SAY THANK YOU AND AGAIN I SAY THANK YOU BUT NO…NO THANK YOU.
YOURS SINCERELY,
NICK CAVE
### My secret to business success: email
Any successful endeavour requires a number of ingredients. An award winning cake recipe will have more than one ingredient, and an Olympic gold medal swimmer didn't just swim their first lap that race.
There's a process, there's time, goal setting, and multiple resources being in the right place at the right time.
In the wedding industry there is so much focus on advertising and marketing, getting the enquiry, but less focus on winning that enquiry over, and worse, delivering an exemplary customer experience from woah to go.
Here at the Celebrant Institute we've written numerous articles about the value of creating and delivering a customer journey but today I wanted to hone in on one single aspect that apparently is really lacking in the wedding business: email.
Reply to emails
This one is simple. Reply to emails. When you receive an email, reply to it. Don't worry about having a robotic auto-responder saying that you reply to emails. Instead, just hit reply. If you know the answer, tell them. If you don't, tell them you don't know.
Replying to emails is the number one way to build trust and relationship with your clients.
Letting an email sit there and fester isn't good for your mental health, or their's.
Reply and let them know you’re on the case, add it to your task management system to do what’s required, and find a workflow that suits your personality and brain.
Check your spam/junk folder
If you don't check your spam or junk mail folder daily, you're in for a surprise. Every day enquiries, real emails, replies to your replies, are all sitting in your junk folder. Check it daily, check it often, delete what's spam, move what isn't spam to your folder.
Unsubscribe
If you get email you don't want: unsubscribe. Don't let your inbox overwhelm you, unsubscribe from newsletters you don't want so that your inbox is a place of focus and work.
Separate
Separate your lives into inboxes. I have a personal email inbox, a wedding clients inbox, and a Celebrant Institute inbox. I can go to each one to plow through emails on that topic and not be overwhelmed by others.
If a friend emails hello@joshwithers.com.au, I move it to josh@withers.co and reply from there so that they get that email address and I get the piece of mind of sorting through my inboxes. If a celebrant emails josh@withers.co I move it to josh@celebrant.institute ... I need to be able to silo emails because most emails in my josh@withers.co inbox are not requiring a same-day reply, but wedding couples need an urgent reply, and Celebrant Institute emails require a swift reply. Whereas I subscribe to lots of newsletters - by choice - to josh@withers.co and will read them when I get time, probably not today.
One extra level of separation can be using different email apps for each context.
Reply all
Look at who has been Cc'd in on an email to you, and reply all so the others get your reply, as long as it’s in context to your email. If you were cc'd in and you're replying it's respectful to CC everyone else in with a reply all. A good example of this is CC’ing in both people getting married instead of just replying to the one person, when the context is that it’s their wedding, not “her wedding”.
It's no longer "brides"
If you're the kind of wedding vendor who thinks that "brides" book you instead of "couples" we won't be able to change your mind in this article, but if you're dealing with couple things - like bookings, invoices, plans, etc - email both of them. Don't just email the "bride" or the one person you've been dealing with. If you want both people bought in on the value and the joy of your ceremony, copy both of them in on the email. You need to put out into the world what you want to get back, and I want to marry a couple, not a bride.
Call them to action
If your email needs a reply, end with that call to action.
For example, if I wanted you to comment on this article, I'd ask you at the bottom so it's the last thing you read, much like an email. End the email clearly communicating what you require of them, and when and/or how. Leave a comment on this post if you think I missed anything about email others should know.
### How to start taking better photos at your weddings
An element of my social media content strategy I'm quite proud of is that I've really worked hard at making better photos, photos that I have made - and therefore own - so that I have photos and video for my own social media channels and blog. If you're interested in pursuing that art as well, Josh Rose has written a really good guide that I think would help you. It's aimed at taking better holiday photos, but the advice translates directly to weddings as well.
Here's a few examples of my social media posts I've shared that have used his methods.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUH1BaJP_kC/?utm_medium=copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CTZSfi6PQ2D/?utm_medium=copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CSgDWWrB1kd/?utm_medium=copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUCl86dpIlf/?utm_medium=copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CR6VnTtjf7D/?utm_medium=copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CRgZt_EjWDk/?utm_medium=copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CQgJv0LBFZR/?utm_medium=copy_link
Hopefully you're inspired to start creating as well. Don't worry about being amazing on day one, just be worried about starting.
### Vaccine mandates and weddings
As I'm sure will be surprising to absolutely nobody reading this, we're already receiving a LOT of questions about COVID-19 vaccine mandates: how will they affect weddings? Can unvaccinated people attend a wedding at all? What about people with exemptions? Whose responsibility will it be to ensure couples/guests/vendors are vaccinated? How will we check vaccination status? Is it discriminatory to not allow an unvaccinated person to attend a wedding? Are we allowed / do we have the right to ask about clients' (and their guests') vaccination status?
The short answer, as at 22 September 2021, is that we don't know yet.
In fact I would wager that nobody, not even the Federal or State/Territory governments, actually knows all the answers yet.
In Victoria, all we've heard is that when the population reaches 70% double vaccinated (hopefully around 26 October 2021), we'll be able to hold outdoor weddings with a cap of 50 fully vaccinated people at 1 person per 4 square metres, OR* with 10 people of unknown vaccination status. When we reach 80% double vaccinated (hopefully around 5 November 2021), we'll be able to hold indoor weddings for 150 fully vaccinated people at 1 person per 4 square metres, outdoor weddings for 500 fully vaccinated weddings at 1 person per 2 square metres, OR* any wedding with 10 people of unknown vaccination status.
*That OR is still a bit up in the air - some media outlets are reporting that it's, e.g. 50 fully vaccinated plus 10 unvaccinated at the same wedding, while others are reading it the way I am, which is that if anyone is unvaccinated the wedding can only have 10 attendees.
That's it. That's literally all the information we have at this stage in Victoria. Here's some of what we don't know:
Whose responsibility it will be to check vaccination status? At a venue it would seem to be the venue's job, but what about a wedding in a park or on a beach? If it's the celebrant's role, what about when they leave? Does the photographer then take on this responsibility?
How it will be checked?
How it will be enforced?
Do all vendors need to be vaccinated or only guests?
Who will be fined if an unvaccinated person attends?
How will genuine medical/religious exemptions be managed?
Will dancing be allowed?
Will buffets/canape trays be allowed?
Will standing consumption or food and/or beverage be allowed?
Will masks be required?
What does "outdoors" actually mean - marquee with two sides down as previously, or all sides up? (Probably all sides will need to be up)
Can weddings be held at private properties? (Probably not)
Do the quoted numbers include vendors?
Can unvaccinated people provide a recent negative test result instead?
What about people who have only had one vaccination dose?
There are also complex legal issues to be considered about contracts and discrimination and privileged information.
We do not know the answers. And to make it worse, the rules and requirements are likely to be different in every state.
I know it's tough, I know we're being bombarded by couples wanting all the answers, but we just don't know. We need to be patient; we need to wait for more information.
Feel free to send us questions, but we can't answer them right now. I promise we don't have any more information than you do.
### How to record the location of a marriage ceremony on the water or in the air
Lizzie asks:
My couple is getting married on a boat in The Pittwater located on the Northern Beaches of Sydney. Please advise how I best record the "at" on the docs for a wedding adrift.
The Guidelines to the Marriage Act, in relation to the place a wedding would occur, gives this poor advice: "The marriage must be registered in the state or territory where the marriage was solemnised. To meet this requirement, and possible requirements of other countries for recognition of the marriage, marriages in aircraft and ships at sea should be avoided."
I'm not going to say they're wrong, but they're not right.
Australian authorised marriage celebrants have the authority and the ability to marry couples anywhere and at any time on any day within Australia and its territories.
Australia and its territories according to the Marriage Act includes:
- the states that make up the Commonwealth of Australia Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania, Western Australia
- the internal Australian territories of Northern Territory, Jervis Bay Territory, and the Australian Capital Territory, plus the external territories of Christmas Island, Cocos (Keeling) Islands, and Norfolk Island.
The territories of Ashmore and Cartier Islands, Australian Antarctic Territory, Coral Sea Islands (Willis Island), Heard Island & McDonald Islands, are unfortunately excluded. I should really petition the Commonwealth to add those babies in there because I'd love to marry a couple in Antartica.
Within those states and territories celebrants can marry people anywhere, including the territorial limits in the sea, beneath the ground, on the ground, and above the ground
Australia's territorial sea includes the waters:
- 12 nautical miles in width from the low-water line along of the coast of Australia.
- 12 nautical miles from the islands defined as Australian.
Above the ground, Australia has complete and exclusive sovereignty of the airspace above its territory, so marriage ceremonies can be conducted in Australian airspace over Australia or its territories, also including the width of the territorial seas.
Recording the ceremony location on the marriage certificate
As per beach weddings, or even weddings at a wedding venue, the exact latitude and longitude are not required. The Marriage Act simply states that we "prepare a certificate of the marriage, in accordance with the prescribed form" - the Marriage Act nor the Guidelines give any direction on the recording a location.
The understanding from the various Births Deaths and Marriages offices is that they would like to see the location as Australia Post would, or as Google Maps might.
Location name, Street Address, Suburb, State.
As an example, the coffee shop I'm writing this in right now is a place I have also married someone and on their marriage certificates I recorded the location as "Good Day Coffee, 2/476 Gold Coast Highway, Tugun, Qld".
For a ceremony in the water or the air, my best advice would be to record:
Vessel Name (if there is one), Suburb/Location/Nearest Location, State.
And if you aren't in a vessel, I'd record the location like:
The Pittwater, Palm Beach, New South Wales.
If someone was to record the latitude and longitude at the time of the vows being exchanged, that would assist in pinpointing suburb and state after the ceremony.
A few examples of a ceremony location could be:
Qantas Flight 973 at 30,000 feet, Dubbo, New South Wales.
Rainbow Bay, Coolangatta, Queensland.
MV One Oh One, Sydney Harbour, Sydney, New South Wales.
MV Kookaburra Queen, Brisbane River, Brisbane, Queensland.
Mettams Pool, Trigg, Western Australia.
Hot Air Balloon, Pokolbin New South Wales.
Ultimately the power and the authority to record the marriage on the certificate is your job, so use your best judgement. You'll know the recorded location is too ambiguous if you told me where it was and it didn't make sense. Make sure you record the best "venue" and then the suburb in which it occurred in, or nearest too.
### The secret to having people share your social media posts
When you hear of social media posts going viral, it simply means people are sharing it. They're tagging their friends in the comments, sharing the post by direct message, and adding to the algorithm that decides who sees what on the internet.
There's books worth of wisdom on how to go viral, and I'd argue most of us don't want to, or if we do, it's not for a healthy reason. Virality - in a business sense - isn't sustainable, nor is it as fun as you think. Trust me, I've been there.
But a little boost on your socials is good for business, and particularly, from a wedding industry point of view, a share of your social media content, is as good as a review or a dollar in the bank.
So what's the secret to having people share your posts?
Make it about them.
We are our own favourite subject.
The most retweeted word on Twitter is the word "you"!
Because everyone cares most about themselves and what's made relevant to them.
Turns out that's also what they share.
Create posts about other people - your clients, their guests, wedding creators, others - and they'll share it, and share your ethos, your name, your brand, your beliefs far and wide.
### How to get your couples to reply to your emails
If you've ever played the iconic Australian schoolyard game of handball, you'll remember that the aim of the game is to intercept the ball on your quadrant/half, then to get it back out as soon as possible.
Here's a demonstrative video from a former Australian Prime Minister.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hy92HFE2Gs&t=3s
When I imagine the customer journey my clients would undertake with me, it's very email-centric, and I need emails replied to. so here's the tip, it's so easy.
I envisage the customer journey as a game of handball. I get the ball (the client, the booking, the email, the question) and I hit it right back to them. I want all the balls out of my court and back in my court quickly by doing this one thing:
End the email on a question.
Don't end on a thank you, or your name, or how you've been featured on a magazine website.
End on a question. Let the final beat of your song require a response. If the last thing your client reads is a question it opens a loop in their mind, leaves that mental loop open, and they'll want to, dare I say need to, close it by hitting reply and answering.
Do you think that would increase the number of emails you get a reply to?
### Build my own website or pay a pro? Build a business brand or a personal brand?
Suzanne asks:
Looking for advice on professional web design v. self design. Objective to attract biz, be good return on investment and not rubber-stamp like. Also some good advice on logo vs personal service brand.
Two important questions here and they're both worth addressing.
DIY web-design versus professionally designed
I design my own website, using Wordpress and the Divi base theme, adding onto it to suit my own needs and purposes. But I do it because I can, and if you can't then you ought to outsource it - in-fact you should outsource anything you can't do yourself, to a standard you would be happy with, in your whole business.
Suzanne goes above and beyond here, identifying some objectives. Attracting new business and being a good return on investment requires a website that's a cut above the rest, so honestly, I'd find someone you trust, and then trust them to build a website that would sell you. Don't tell them what to design, actually trust them to deliver on those objectives. I would even consider adding an incentive into the mix. If the designer can deliver on the objectives - using a specific and measure-able goal - perhaps offer an incentive payment.
Designers work best when you communicate expectations and objectives, and let them create and be an artist. You'll get a website better than you ever imagined.
But if you think you can deliver on your own objectives, then do it yourself.
Large brand versus personal brand
This is a topic I'm quite passionate about.
I'm a strong believer in an authentic and vulnerable life, and that leads itself to being in an authentic and vulnerable business.
I see celebrants using brands that are bigger than themselves - and I'm prepared to be wrong on this, please tell me in the comments - I see celebrants trying to pump up their brand to look bigger and better than they are. And the problem isn't that they are doing that, but that they don't believe that them as they are is enough.
I did this myself.
In 2009 when I started as a celebrant I Tweeted to my community and a photographer friend in Busselton suggested "Married By Josh". From 2009 to 2020 I was Married By Josh, on social media, website, domain name, email. I eventually found the courage to drop the brand and just be me: Josh Withers. It's the best thing I've done. No more hiding behind a logo or a fancy name. It's just me. That's why I cost so much, it's just me. That's how I do what I do, it's just me. That's why I have the reputation I have, it's just me.
Just be you.
That said, you can still have a cool logo, just get it designed by a designer you trust. Maybe it can be the website person?
### Writing prompts for social media and blogging
The Copywriting Course's subject line generator might be just the gold mine you need to start writring that next blog posts, social media post, or recording that vlog or podcast.
Go to copywritingcourse.com/subject-line-generator-formula/ and enter a topic in the box, like weddings and you'll get a list like this. Edit and change to your needs and start creating content!
I've copied and pasted a list and edited so it works for something I'd like to write about, you can do the same, or steal from below.
Weddings changed my life forever.
The first time I heard about wedding celebrants it changed everything.
I never knew the impact weddings would have on me.
The best thing about weddings was the way it changed my life.
When I got good at weddings it changed my life.
The first book I ever read on weddings altered the course of my entire life.
When I started learning about weddings it felt like I found my calling.
There was something just so enjoyable about weddings.
One time at band camp I started creating weddings and….
What my kids have taught me about weddings.
Even my 3 year old understands weddings.
Weddings and having kids changed my life forever in a great way.
How to explain weddings to a 4 year old.
I never thought weddings and kids would mix well, but it turns out…
What’s the point of doing weddings if it doesn’t make my kids proud of me?
What I want my kids to know about weddings.
How I still manage to create weddings while taking care of kids.
The tools I use to juggle weddings and kids.
Why I’m teaching my kids all about weddings.
The full story of my career in weddings.
How I accidentally stumbled into weddings and made a career out of it.
Weddings changed my income forever.
Weddings was the first smart thing I ever did in my career, and here’s how I started…
Excellence in weddings comes from 3 key things…
How to start a career in weddings.
How to make a career out of your passion for weddings.
It’s not hard to make a career out of weddings. Here’s my guide how.
The Pro’s and Con’s of a career in weddings.
Weddings changed my income almost overnight.
How much money do wedding celebrants make?
How you can double your income in the weddings industry.
I had my largest month ever with weddings by doing this….
One of the best money-making niches in weddings.
How much money can you make if you consult on Weddings?
How much I make doing Weddings.
3 tests I did this year that doubled my Weddings income.
The economy is shifting, and people in the Weddings industry can thrive.
Here’s why Weddings is a great side-hustle.
Here’s why Weddings is a great long-term skill to learn.
Most of my best friends I made through Weddings.
My friends didn’t understand Weddings at first, but then I told them this…
It was difficult telling my friends at work I was going to quit and start Weddings.
Weddings lost me a lot of friends.
Weddings made me a lot of friends.
Weddings took a toll on my closest friendship because that friend was trying to hold me back.
Some of my friends HATED that I was so successful with Weddings.
Soon as I got some success with Weddings my friends started asking about it!
It’s nice having a community of friends to support me in my Weddings.
My friends were always so curious how I started Weddings in the first place.
How Weddings affected my love life.
Weddings was my first real love.
“Me and Weddings sittin’ in a tree….K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
When I was first learning Weddings it put a strain on my spouse and I.
Everyone that loved me was worries…..and that’s when I discovered Weddings.
I don’t think anyone loves Weddings more than this guy.
A loving spouse is what supported me the early and lean days of my Weddings career.
No one actually LOVES doing Weddings…..but it’s a necessity.
Learn to love Weddings and it will make you a lot of money.
I met my partner through weddings.
How to create weddings for a living.
How to create viral weddings posts on your website.
How to generate tons of leads in the wedding industry.
How to find people looking to buy wedding services.
How to upgrade your wedding business without spending any money.
How to create weddings like a rockstar.
How to become the best at weddings and leave the competition in the dust.
How to be the Michael Phelps of weddings and crush everyone else.
How to get into weddings without spending a dime.
When I started weddings I was scared to death…
I felt like I wasn’t good enough for Weddings and could never succeed in it….
When I first started Weddings I seemed happy on the outside, but on the inside I was dying…
I’ve never told anyone about this from my beginning Weddingsdays….
It’s not easy when you first start Weddings. There’s a lot of emotional pain you go through first…
I didn’t choose Weddings. My parents pressured me into it. At first it was tough….
I could believe how good other people in Weddings were. I felt I’d never get to their level…
The first time I succeeded in a Weddings deal I was smiling so hard that it hurt my cheek muscles!
I wanted to prove my parents wrong so bad, and that’s what pushed me to succeed in Weddings.
There’s no one that’s gone through more pain doing Weddings than I have, and I want to show you how to avoid my mistakes.
Weddings is super easy if you automate scheduling using this tool.
Here’s how you use Microsoft Excel to make your wedding work easier.
Here’s how to use Google Docs to save all your wedding files.
Here’s a trick I use with Weddings clients that blows them away.
Put this script in your email footer and you’ll likely get 2 more Weddings clients per month.
Take 45 seconds to install this Chrome Extension that every Wedding person needs.
Here’s how Photoshop can improve your weddings performance.
Here’s how learning to outsource on Fiverr can help your wedding business.
Weddings + . A complete guide to setting up a wedding website.
A full guide to outsourcing 50% of your weddings work without paying too much.
For a full month I would wake up every night having nightmares about weddings.
I was scared the first time I went to a weddings expo.
Fear of succeeding in weddings….it’s a real thing.
I don’t know about you, but the first time I worked with a wedding client I was super nervous.
How to calm your nerves when getting married.
My trick to calm myself down before performing a wedding ceremony.
Respond to this email and let me know your fears about weddings.
11 ways to make better weddings.
Every trick I use to do quality work in the Weddings industry.
I couldn't do weddings without these 13 free tools.
In a world full of wedding vendors, here are the only 3 I use.
Every successful person having a wedding uses this trick.
Every successful person creating weddings pays for this research tool.
13 years of Weddings experience and here’s the top 3 things I’ve learned.
The lowest cost (yet highest ROI) trick I’ve learned in my 13 years of weddings.
Wedding planning tools you can use for less than $50 each.
### Questions to ask your couples for your review or testimony
Jason Fried has posted a list of questions he asks referees he calls for new employees. I read through the list and thought that it would be equally impressive to see our clients answer some or all of these questions in their reviews.
Shape the questions so they serve you, but instead of asking for a plain old review, try asking your couples a question and ask them to share it as a Google, Facebook, or other form of review:
What's something that would surprise people about you?
What's the difference between how they interview and how they deliver on the job?
If you were getting married again, would you absolutely hire this person again for a similar role?
What are they better at than they think, and, on the flip side, worse at than they think?
What sort of things do they do that often go unnoticed or are under-appreciated?
What don't they get enough credit for?
Are they more curious or critical about what they don't understand?
What's the one thing nearly everyone would say about them?
What kind of couple or wedding feels like a natural fit? And which kind would be a challenge?
Can you describe a time when they changed their mind? From what to what, and what caused the change?
What's the best thing about working with them? And the hardest?
If you could change something about them, what would it be?
When have you seen them get in over their head? And how did that turn out?
Have you seen them get better at something? Worse?
Do they make other people better? How?
Are they better at taking credit or giving credit?
Are they more likely to adjust to something, or try to adjust the thing?
Primary blindspot? And bright spot?
As well as you know this person, what do you think their secret ambition is?
If they hadn't been at your wedding, how would your wedding have been different?
Have they ever changed your mind?
How have they changed during the time you knew them?
Do you still keep in touch even though you don't work together anymore?
What do they need to be successful?
Why do you think we'd have a better wedding with them on board?
### Be vulnerable about your growth intentions to actually grow
A study has found that adding copy to a new app's website around the lines of "we expect 1000 users to join this year" increased signups for the app by 20%. People respond to the developer's expectations and intentions of the app's growth because those intentions were expressed, documented, published.
The same study found that for an app that already had its 1000 users, adding a link that said so, with the actual numbers published, proved to be equally effective.
If you have low expectations for your celebrancy practice, it's best to say nothing about them.
But if you have high expectations for your business, document them, publish them, be authentic and vulnerable. The worst that can happen is that 20% more people respond positively, and best case scenario is that you meet your high expectations.
It's win-win when you're vulnerable in your marketing.
Added help via Growth Bites.
### Say, do you remember? Dancing (with new forms) in September?
September 2021 is bringing us new marriage forms, and to be sure that we don't confuse things, let me quote from the Attorney-General office email sent today. If you haven't received it, check your spam folder and then tell your email client it isn't spam, it's the boss.
The three new marriage forms: the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM), the Official Certificate of Marriage (OCM), and Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage (DNLI) forms, will be available for download from the department’s website on 31 August 2021.
We provide the following guidance material on the changes to marriage forms commencing on 1 September 2021:
1. Fact sheet on Changes to marriage forms and certificates 2021
2. Mocked-up new Notice of Intended Marriage
From 1 September 2021, all authorised celebrants MUST use the new NOIM, OCM and DNLI forms.
NOIM forms signed and submitted to an authorised celebrant before 1 September 2021 will remain valid for a period of 18 months from their date of receipt by the authorised celebrant. All NOIM forms submitted to an authorised celebrant after 1 September 2021, must be in the new form.
There are no changes to the Form 15 Certificates of Marriage (that is given by the celebrant to the couple immediately following the wedding). Authorised celebrants can continue to use their existing stock of Form 15 certificates. The Form 15 certificates continue to be available for purchase from CanPrint Communications.
We note that the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants will be updated on 31 August 2021, to reflect the new forms commencing on 1 September 2021.
Please take the time to familiarise yourself with the information provided about the new forms ahead of 1 September 2021.
So on August 31 2021, you will find out how you get to do your work on the 1st of September. Heaps of time.
Also, if you have any questions, or need help from the AGD while Canberra is in lockdown:
During this period all communications with our office must be via email, subject to the below. If you do not have email access you may leave a telephone message by calling 1800 550 343. Please note – we are unable to answer telephone calls during the lockdown period. If you need to contact us via our telephone line because you do not have email access, it is very important that you leave a detailed message setting out your enquiry, and provide us with your full contact details including your ‘A Number’.
Hopefully this isn't news to any of you, and luckily, if you're a Celebrant Institute member, Sarah and myself (Josh) are at your beck and call, ask us a question at celebrant.institute/ask.
One thing I will note, if you're planning on signing a Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage (DNLI) form for a September 1 onwards wedding, I'd leave it until September 1 onwards.
Finally, if you're wondering what the title means:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs069dndIYk
### Should we charge more or differently for public holidays?
Continuing a long running series on this website starting with how your price is part of your marketing story, whether or not you should list your prices on your website with answers from Sarah and myself, how to respond when someone asks "how much?", how to be something other than the cheap celebrant, a different method to calculate your fee, about how celebrants are not paid per hour, on cheap breakfasts, whether there is room at the top of the market, on valuing how you interact, what travel fees are for, that you should raise your price after 2020, and most recently how to raise your price, today we wonder how and why people charge different prices for public holidays.
Kim asks:
I wanted to ask you your opinion about having different rates on public holidays like Christmas, New Years, Easter etc. I have come across a few celebrants that charge an extra $250 for those public holiday dates. Do you and Sarah do this? I know we have the option to make ourselves available or not on these particular public holidays... How do you go about it?
I have a possibly controversial opinion on this topic, but like of my controversial opinions, they stem from my own personal situation and the way I run my business.
But let's start why other businesses charge differently for public holidays. It's because their costs are higher, or they don't want to work that day, so they are disincentivizing people to patronise their business that day. Both are very understandable. The common retail shop may have higher staff costs, or other expenses on that day. And the common business that operates Monday to Friday, for example, might enjoy the public holiday off.
For the wedding industry however things are different.
Firstly, in my experience the way many public holidays are positioned in the calendar they're often not the day a wedding would be booked. A Monday public holiday for example would not often be the day of a wedding, but it would increase bookings on the Sunday, because the Monday is now a day off. The more popular public holidays like Christmas, Boxing Day, New Years Day, have been very slim on bookings over my 12 year career.
On the topic of costs, I can't talk for your business, but for mine, my costs do not increase on a public holiday.
So the only reason I would increase a fee for a public holiday is to disincentivize people booking me, and honestly, people already have enough reasons not to book me with my already well established fee and product-market fit, so if they're keen I'm quite likely to say yes if I'm available.
And if I'd rather have the Queens Birthday off this year so I can sit in an airplane and stare at the wing, I'd simply say no, rather than make my pricing information more complicated by adding extra ifs and buts.
### JPs witnessing the NOIM via audio visual link - NOT ALLOWED
As of June 12 2024 remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms is now law and you can visit this page for an update.
This post is now out of date, for the latest news on the remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms visit this page.
As you all know, the Marriage Act 1961 requires that the Notice of Intended Marriage is signed in the presence of one of the authorised witnesses. In the presence of means physical presence: the person signing and the witness need to be physically in the same room.
While there have been some attempts to have this requirement changed since the COVID-19 pandemic took hold, they have been unsuccessful to date. NOIMs must still be signed in the presence of an authorised witness.
Remember: the Marriage Act 1961 is Commonwealth legislation, and any documents associated with the Act are Commonwealth documents.
During 2020, in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, both Victoria and New South Wales made changes to their legislation to allow signatures on certain documents to be witnessed via audio-visual links such as Zoom or FaceTime.
In Victoria, temporary legislation was enacted in July 2020 and made permanent in April 2021, allowing for documents that fall under the following Victorian legislation to be witnessed remotely by audio visual link:
Electronic Transactions (Victoria) Act 2000: contracts or other types of agreements or arrangements; statements, declarations, demands, notices or requests related to forming or performing a contract; non-commercial transactions; deeds
Oaths and Affirmations Act 2018: affidavits; Victorian statutory declarations
Wills Act 1997: wills; codicils; other testamentary instruments
Powers of Attorney Act 2014: powers of attorney and related documents.
In NSW, regulations were amended in April 2020 and legislation was enacted in September 2020, allowing for the following documents to be witnessed remotely by audio visual link (at least until the end of 2021):
wills
powers of attorney
deed or agreements
enduring guardianship appointment
affidavit
New South Wales statutory declarations.
As you can see, the Notice of Intended Marriage and the Marriage Act 1961 do not appear on either of those lists.
This wouldn't be an issue except that I've heard multiple reports (and experienced it myself) of celebrants receiving NOIMs on which the signatures have been witnessed via audio visual link by a Justice of the Peace in Victoria or New South Wales. A NOIM that has been witnessed in this way cannot be accepted, because the new and updated legislation in these States does not apply to the Marriage Act 1961 or the Notice of Intended Marriage.
So please, if you receive a NOIM that has been witnessed via audio visual link (and you'll know because it will be endorsed with a statment such as "This document was electronically signed in accordance with the COVID-19 Omnibus (Emergency Measures) (Electronic Signing and Witnesses) Regulations 2020"), you must reject it and ask the couple to sign their NOIM in the presence of an authorised witness.
I'm writing to the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section to see if they can contact the people who appoint JPs in both states to provide some professional development for them on this matter,.
### What does your profile photo say about you?
If you've taken our branding advice before, you're using the same headshot profile photo for your social media accounts and your website, and anywhere else you can upload an identifying photo, avatar, logo. But do you know how it's performing for your brand and marketing?
Your face is your logo when you're a wedding celebrant and if you don't have one already, I recommend reaching out to a local wedding photographer and paying them to make some headshot photos of you that really scream "You!" The best thing about getting a wedding photographer to do it is because they know what wedding clients are looking for photographically, plus you get to either a) meet a new friend in the wedding industry, or b) support an existing friend. It's a great opportunity to work with someone you've been wanting to work with.
And for the love of God, please pay them.
If you already have a profile photo you use for these purposes, have you wondered how the outside world sees you when they see that image?
Upload your photo to photofeeler.com.
It's easy, you upload your photo and submit it to the masses. If you want better results quicker you can spend credits to get it in front of more people, and how do you get credits? You rate other people.
Here's yours truly after four votes:
Give your profile photo a fly at photofeeler.com and let us know how you go in the comments.
### Three practical ways to increase your price
I'm not backwards in coming forwards about celebrants raising their price. I've given a number of good reasons in the past, but as lockdowns and travel bans continue to fuel the bonfire that is the state of the wedding industry today I was inspired by the idea that we, the wedding industry need not bare the burden that is wedding postponements, we are not wedding insurers, we are professional creatives.
We are not wedding insurance.
That's not to diminish your want and desire to be generous and kind to your clients, be that, and more, but you are not their wedding insurance. Their wedding being postponed should not bankrupt you.
So assuming you're already ready to raise your price, if not read this, here's three practical ways you can increase your price today.
1. The James Clear 'raising every three' method
James Clear didn't know how to set a fee for speaking at conferences. His initial fee was $500 and it turned out that was very cheap, so every three conferences he was asked to speak at, he increased his fee until he reached a price that he felt was sustainable for him as a person speaking at conferences, allowed him to do the work he loved on a regular basis, and was essentially chosen by the marketplace.
Every three bookings, increase your fee by a percentage. Here's a simple Apple numbers spreadsheet I created and you're welcome to download. Enter your current fee in the initial fee box marked yellow in the spreadsheet to see the numbers multiply out.
Somewhere between 50-100 bookings you'll find a price/product/market fit that matches what you do, what value you bring, and what the market is willing to pay for you. Don't shy away from challenging that market fit, and to marry this method with one of the other methods mentioned below.
Listen to James speak about his method in this podcast from about 12 minutes in.
2. The Josh Withers 'ride the accelerator' method
My fee changes on the regular. I started with method number one, and along the way toyed with method number three quite a few times, but my pricing status quo today is to "ride the accelerator".
What I mean by riding the accelerator is to increase and decrease my fee as my current workload, or need for a holiday, or booking volumes changes.
I manage this by having a web-page based information pack as a secret page on my website (/information) and not in a PDF I email to people, nor do I mention price in email, I always refer people to my information pack. My information pack is emailed to people if I'm available for their wedding.
So if I am taking a week or two off on a holiday, I increase my price to what I consider to be "too much" and if I'm at home in work mode and bookings have been slow, I'll decrease it to a regular fee. If I'm feeling game, I'll increase my price by 10% to read the temperature of the marketplace. I have a floor I won't go beneath, but by using this method I've charged over $2000 for a wedding ceremony before because I wasn't wanting more enquiries and meetings in the middle of a stressful week, but that couple really wanted me, so that was the fee. Two weeks later people were paying much less.
3. The 'I can't remember who told me this' method of taking a pot shot at a big date
I have a memory of three different people telling me this method, and I can't recall who told me, but they were all wise wedding industry veterans. The method simply acknowledges that you're not comfortable with people paying you whatever a high price looks like, and this is personal for everyone. If you're charging $200 maybe you couldn't imagine someone paying you $400, or if you're charging $2000 but you couldn't imagine someone paying you $4000, it's the same feeling and the same pang of unworthiness you need to get over.
So here's what you do: Find a date in your calendar that is not booked yet, but you know it will be. We're talking Saturdays in spring and autumn in school holidays. Those babies will sell without a doubt. Double points for the Easter weekend, especially that Thursday leading into Good Friday, guaranteed sellers.
Identify that one date you know you could sell without trying, simply because you're you and you're available. Pick that date, and only accept a high fee on that day. Put it in your calendar, and prepare yourself to feel valued.
You choose the high fee, and if you get to 3-4 months out and haven't booked it yet, change it back to your low fee and you know you'll still sell.
The idea is to figure out whether the market would ever pay that price for you, and whether your product is worth that much, and we marry those elements together with a surefire date.
It might be that you sell at that price and only at that price for that one day, but to know that you can will affirm your worth in your mind and soul and allow you to take another shot at that price again later.
### We're not going to charge you more money, it's ok
We're tired, and we know you are all tired too. In this episode we catch up on each other's news, and chat about value (and how it's difficult to articulate!) and how OPD is going in 2021.
Welcome to another episode of the Celebrant Talk Show podcast.
Listen in the embedded player below or in this link.
### Legalities for parties who are vision impaired
Tania asks:
I have an enquiry from a couple, one party is Visually Impaired. They would have the some of my 'Welcome Kit' translated to Braille, including the NOIM, DONLIM, OCM and Form 15. Therefore, I am comfortable that the party would be aware of what they will sign. But ... How would the signing and witnessing actually work? Would having a Braille interpreter at the Signing who could tell the party where to sign be a legal solution?
I totally understand why, but Tania was overthinking this one!
I encouraged Tania to think about this party as if they were one who didn't read English (either because they were illiterate or because they speak a different language). If I had a party who could only read Turkish, for example, I wouldn't be getting the legal documents translated into Turkish so they could read them. I would have the Turkish interpreter read the documents to them, interpreting the information into Turkish as they went.
We can use the same principle for a party who can't read the documents because they have a vision impairment or because they're illiterate: simply have someone read the documents aloud to them!
The party with vision impairment will have some way of making their mark on documents; it may not be a written signature the same as seeing people use, it could be a thumbprint or an X or somethign else altogether. The Guidelines tells us that:
If either of the parties or the witnesses is unable to write, a mark may be made by the person as follows:
[Name – e.g. John X Brown] [His mark]
[Name of witness to the mark]
Any of the persons present (over the age of 18) may witness the mark. The person witnessing the signature or mark must actually be present and witness the signature or mark.
You can use the same principles for someone with a vision impairment who cannot sign their name.
Thanks Tania for the great question; it's one that doesn't come up very often and it's good for all of us to think about different scenarios!
### 7 Insurances celebrants should have
A member has asked about whether the Celebrant Institute membership includes insurance. It doesn't, and we'll be honest with you, that's because we reached out to a bunch of insurance brokers and insuring you lot in such a general way turned out to be so expensive and hard, that it wouldn't be worth it for you, or for us, to offer such a broad stroke of insurance, when each of your businesses are so unique and personal.
So here's the seven insurances I think every wedding celebrant should at least consider, and of course you need to do your own research and consider your own circumstances.
Please note that this is general information only and should not replace financial or professional insurance advice. Talk to a licensed insurance broker, business advisor or insurer for detailed advice.
None of this information has been influenced by an outside business and we have received no payments or discounts for offering this information.
Equipment insurance
When I'm at a wedding, there is about $9000 worth of equipment with me, and in my home office, another $4000 worth. If that equipment fails, is damaged, or stolen, I'd like to be able to make a claim.
Loss of income insurance
This is a more personal item for you to attack with your family, an insurance broker, and your superannuation fund (you are contributing to super right?), but if something was to happen to you personally, in regards to your health - would you have insurance to cover that?
Public Liability Insurance
Some businesses in some states are required by law or registration to have public liability insurance, but to the best of my knowledge, marriage celebrants are not required to have public liability. However many wedding venues require contractors on their premises to have public liability insurance, as do many wedding events, fairs, expos.
The Commonwealth Government website describes public liability insurance as:
Public liability insurance covers you for third party death or injury. It helps protect you and your business when you’re liable for negligence. For example, if your business causes:
injury or death, such as your food making a customer sick
negligent advice (for some occupations), such as saying a generator can power a business in a blackout and it doesn’t, causing a loss
nervous shock, such as emotional distress or a recognised psychiatric illnesses
property damage, such as causing a fire
consequential loss, which occurs in very rare cases where negligence causes another business to lose expected revenue.
Going through that list leaves me thinking that there's a very small risk of a professional celebrant ever being caught up in one of those situations, however, here's some possibilities:
Your PA system is a poor quality system, maybe a cheap import from China and it's electrical wiring isn't up to the Australian safety standard and it starts a fire. This kind of thing has literally killed people, even in Australia, in regard to cheap phone chargers.
Your microphone stand, or speaker stand, or any of your furniture or equipment, could be a trip hazard and lead to injury or death.
I wonder how wide-ranging the negligent advice could go for a marriage celebrant to a newlywed couple?
A consequential loss could occur maybe if you were late, or ran so overtime, that it caused the caterer to perhaps lose revenue?
I wonder how exposed you would be to a claim if someone died from heatstroke in a ceremony and you had given advice to have it in a sunny location at a certain time?
Your ceremony was so boring it put someone into a coma? I'm sorry, I had to joke.
So many of these scenarios seem far-fetched, but when protection is easy and affordable, and we live in a litigious time, public liability insurance for $10 million or $20 million doesn't seem silly. I'm insured for $20M because some wedding venues and expos have required that in the past.
Car insurance
I'm not here to tell you how to live your life, but if the vessel that brings you to weddings isn't insured for accidental damage, windscreen replacement, a hire car if it's off the road, third party personal injury insurance, and more, then that's your phone call to make on the day of someone's wedding.
Professional Indemnity Insurance
Professional indemnity insurance works toward covering the cost of legal action due to your professional advice as a marriage celebrant. It may cover breaches of contract, or you giving poor legal advice.
I'd say this is important for Commonwealth authorised marriage celebrants who operate in and around the Marriage Act and other pertinent pieces of legislation.
Cyber Liability Insurance
The government insurance website describes cyber liability insurance as:
Cyber liability insurance protects your business against cybercrime. This insurance covers the cost of keeping your data secure as well as the expenses from the disruption to your business. Talk to an insurance broker or insurer about your options.
In simple terms, you know all those NOIMs, marriage certificates, scans of passports and birth certificates, that live in your computer - that's a massive liability against your integrity and business operation.
Insurance against this is a last stop, so before you buy insurance I would work really hard at increasing your computer security, and deleting data you no longer need.
Travel insurance
I spend about $600 a year for annual multi-trip travel insurance so that if I'm more than 100km away from home, for personal or wedding travel, I am well protected. If you work in those realms as well, it's the best $600 I spend every year, and that covers my family too.
Who do I use?
Personally, I change car insurer every year because the incentives are to do so, and if you stay the price goes up and there's no sign up bonus. For equipment, public liability, and indemnity insurance I use Duck For Cover because they're pretty good, and for travel insurance I use Qantas.
### Wise words about reviews, for Billy Joel and wedding celebrants
I've got a confession to make: I can recall every single bad review I've had, and I barely remember the good ones.
There's one I received while I was in Washington DC in 2015, a few days before I was about to speak at the International Association of Wedding Officiants conference. The couple had a bunch of comments that were mean and terrible, but they also shape a lot of how I work today. I should let go, but my brain says no.
I guess I'm just built that way.
So let me share with you I stole from John Birmingham's email newsletter that in turn he stole from Jonathon V Last’s newsletter which mentioned a Vulture interview with Billy Joel, and in particular, how he carries criticisms with himself.
There’s a lesson here for all of us, I think.
There are people who are utterly impervious to criticism. They don’t believe it and even if they did, they wouldn’t care. That’s neither healthy nor wise.
And there are people like Billy Joel, who seem to carry criticism around with them for a very long time. Also not super healthy.
One of the keys to living well is the ability to selectively accept and reject criticism. You accept it when it comes from a source you respect, or when it comes from a place of reasonable intent. In such cases, you try to learn from the criticism, even if you ultimately reject it on the merits.
And you dismiss criticism from bad actors. Some rando on the internet says something mean about you? Don’t even let it into your brain.
This is easier said that done, of course. There’s a reason I don’t do Twitter: I felt no need to let a giant tech company make money by beaming abuse directly into my retinas. As a wise man once said, “For who? For What?”
But here’s the thing: If a guy as successful as Billy Joel can fall into the trap of letting external validation have this much sway on his life, then it can happen to anyone.
Maybe I, and you, can take something away from this.
### The thing about all of your social media followers
Whether you've got 10 or 10,000 followers across all the different social media channels, it's almost certainly true for all of them:
less than 3% of your audience is ready to book a celebrant, hopefully you, right now.
7% of your audience needs a bit more information or love to get to the point where they’re ready to book you or someone else in.
30% of your audience is getting married someday, somewhere, somehow, but they're interested
30% of your audience is never going to book you.
30% of your audience has already been married, maybe by you.
So as you open up Instagram and start yelling at everyone, take a second to think who it is you're yelling at.
### How and why you should position your speaker at a wedding
Many celebrants don't know the science and method behind choosing where to position their speaker in a ceremony. This video will take you through the basic elements of choosing where and why and how to position your speaker, and one thing I didn't note in the recording is that you want it up on a speaker stand at standing head height, you need those audio waves to be able to reach everyone's ears and if the speaker is on the ground, people past the first row will be struggling.
In summary:
Put the speaker as far to the left or right as the walls/area allows, whilst still being able to be heard - so you can eliminate that high pitched feedback sound.
Put the speaker so there's not lots of bodies (60% full of water) in between the microphone and the speaker.
Position the speaker so the visual of you - actual you - and the sound of you, are coming from a similar place. That is, don't put your speaker at the back of the ceremony.
Put your speaker on a stand so people past the first row have a fighting chance of being able to listen to clear audio.
### I've gone to court for cancelled covid weddings, and lived to tell the story
At the time of writing I personally have attended four court mediation sessions, and two court hearings. Theses are my stories. Dum dum. Ok, enough of the Law and Order jokes, but I am in the middle of a bunch of law suits and I figured that you, my fellow celebrants, would like to hear the stories, and hopefully you can learn from them.
What follows is in no way to be considered legal advice, I am not a lawyer, and the advice given to me by my lawyer is confidential. The stories shared are personal anecdotes that would hopefully encourage you to engage with a lawyer.
As an introduction to the stories, I want to note that my wife, Britt and I, run two brands/businesses under the same business structure. Our business is structured as a family trust and all of our work is invoiced from that trust. One of the businesses is what we still internally call "Married By Josh" which is the kind of business you’d be familiar with, that of being a celebrant at weddings. The other is our brand "The Elopement Collective" where we put me in with a photography, videography, florals, and elopement planning package.
The complaints have all been around the idea that because of the covid-related lockdowns, travel bans, and gathering restrictions, the original plans can't go ahead. The couples want a refund, I want a rescheduled date.
Both of the the two court cases have gone in the same direction, not in my favour. That is that the judge has heard both party's sides of the story and awarded partial refunds to the couple. The couples have been very sure to bring up my early in March 2020 optimism about how Covid wouldn't impact on their plans (like any of us knew better) and then they did not want to proceed with a local elopement. One was an Australian couple who had booked us for a New Zealand elopement, and the other was a couple from Australia booked for an Italian elopement. The New Zealand couple I had already legally married according to Australian law, and the Italian couple have seemingly broken up.
In both cases the judge has decided that our contracts were frustrated, and according to Australian law that basically means the contracts are flushed down the toilet and the parties to the contract are ejected from their responsibilities to the contract. The judge then has to look at the whole situation and basically decide if anyone has been unjustly enriched, which basically means, has someone got too much money here.
The position the judge takes is that of the "common man" or as my most recent judge took, the position of "the man on the 3pm bus", which is a modern take on an ancient common law hypothetical, "Man on the Clapham omnibus".
And apparently the man on the 3pm bus doesn't think a local rescheduled wedding is the best path forward, he thinks a partial refund is required. Which is fair, but it's not what my bank account wanted to hear.
The man on the 3pm bus also understands that the word deposit is more like a placeholder payment, unlike the payment of a booking fee, and changing from deposit to booking fee is advice that our resident lawyer, Kathryn from Event Law has been giving publicly so I don't mind quoting her here.
The judge did take into account costs already spent on the elopement packages but only by half. Apparently paying a photographer a fee earlier than the elopement is considered silly so the judge awarded me 50% of that fee.
As for the mediations, they're frustrating, all but one has been fruitful, and the fruitful one was where I offered a 50% refund. I've got one coming up where I have already refunded half despite becoming re-available for their wedding, but they've got hurt feelings, so they'd like a full refund. My future mediation hearings will be influenced by my two court hearings, and I'll go in knowing that a refund will be due.
Words you've probably seen bandied about recently are "Force Majeure". Most of our contracts, if we had a contract to begin with, would not have had a Force Majeure clause because who amongst us was planning for a pandemic?
My understanding of the clause is that something like a pandemic can frustrate a contract, and then we have to wait for the guy on the bus to decide how things roll out, but if you have a Force Majeure clause that references a Force Majeur event - an event that is beyond the control of either party that prevents or hinders the delivery of the contract - then the contract isn't frustrated, but instead it's put on hold until after the event. Sounds like a grand idea to me. Get onto a new contract, and an Australian one. I see so many wedding creatives using contracts from American websites - bad idea.
So my advice after all this?
Have a service contract between you and your clients.
Write all of your emails knowing they could be printed in a newspaper, screenshot in a Facebook group, or shown to a court.
Get off the phone and into an email. The records are important.
Deploy compassion, empathy, and kindness whenever you can - and if you can't, close the laptop and go for a walk.
Try to work it out in mediation, court's not as fun as they make out on TV.
### 7 days of content prompts for your social media
If you're feeling a bit stuck on what to post on your blog, or social media, or both, here's seven content ideas you can easily write right now. Then schedule them up to drop every day, and watch your online personal brand grow!
1. Recycle an old piece of content that went well
Do you remember that post, or photo, article, or infographic you posted last month, or last year (maybe the year before that), and it really resonated with the masses?
Open that up, put it on one side of your computer monitor, and open a blank page on the other. Read the piece, and re-write it. The same story, same information, same gist, but with slightly different words, maybe the story is rearranged a little. It's the same information, but a different sell. Maybe it's the edit or the re-write you'd hoped to have done at the time.
Post that handcrafted, organic, homemade, recycled content and watch it flourish.
2. Share a screw-up
What's something that you have messed up, something you've done wrong, or incorrectly, or poorly? What's a mistake you've made that you've learned from? Post that story and bookend it with how it matters to your couples, and how yo've learned and become better.
3. Answer that question
What was the last DM, email, text from a client - or maybe they asked it in a meeting - that is something lots of people are asking their celebrant? Write up the question and the answer and post it!
4. Educate couples about celebrants
More people than you could ever understand still don't know that civil celebrants exist, and what we do, and how we work. My mentor in radio taught me to assume that my audience were the stupidest people alive, but to treat them with the upmost respect, so imagine your audience know nothing about the Marriage Act, and they don't know you, and they don't know what you make. Go forth and educate.
5. Debunk some myths
You know those things people think are facts but they're 100% made up? Debunk them! Preach the truth.
6. Start a regular content habit
Habits and rituals help our brain simply work. Find a content habit, ritual, regular feature that works for you. Maybe it's every Tuesday you post a taco photo - purely because you love tacos, not because you're a celebrant - or every Wednesday you post a review for Review Wednesday, and you review local vendors, venues, and wedding creators.
Schedule it in your calendar and create an expectation in your audience.
7. Be humble
So much of our content is about us, make one about someone else. Share your love and your passion with your audience, in a way that is humble, in a way that is lifting up someone else. Generosity always wins.
### Are you ready if someone tries to hack you and steal your client's personal data
Reading the news today about the meat manufacturer that paid up $11 million in ransom to cybercriminals after having its business shutdown over a hack recently, my mind turned to celebrants.
I hold grave fears that any day now there's going to be an Australian marriage celebrant breached by a hacker, and all of their clients' NOIM, Marriage Certificate, Passport, Divorce, Drivers License, details will be leaked, stolen, sold.
There's basic things celebrants can do:
Use different and unique passwords for each service you use, like email, facebook, xero, bank, computer, phone etc.
Change passwords every 6-12 months.
Use two-factor authentication.
Secure your telephone account.
Limit access to your emails.
Learn how to identify phishing and scam emails.
Have a good firewall on your home network.
Have a good local computer password.
Limit the data you hold that can be stolen, deleting client's data when no longer needed to be kept.
Update and run the latest operating software, and firmware on your devices
Maintaining a good local backup and a secure offsite backup
The Australian government also provides these powerful resources:
Step one: Understand the threat by reading the Small Business Cyber Security Guide.
Step two: Start applying these really basic security methods on the devices, applications, that apply to you using these Step By Step Guides.
Step three: Learn how to identify phishing/scam emails.
Step four: Take the Cyber Security Assessment Tool test.
### "The truth is most of your followers won’t see what you share" on Instagram
Instagram has shared a post today about how and why people see what they see on Instagram. I'm not going to speculate on how much of this is smoke and mirrors, or politics, or conspiracy theories. Instead, lets take them at their word and believe what they say.
You can read the whole report here, and I'll share some excerpts and thoughts on it below.
One of the main misconceptions we want to clear up is the existence of “The Algorithm.” Instagram doesn’t have one algorithm that oversees what people do and don’t see on the app. We use a variety of algorithms, classifiers, and processes, each with its own purpose. We want to make the most of your time, and we believe that using technology to personalise your experience is the best way to do that.
Instagram is in the business of "eyes on Instagram". The more eyes that are on Instagram, the better metrics they can promise to advertisers and to investors. So when they say that they are using a variety of technologies to personalise our experiences, they're saying they are using all the tools in the shed to get the most eyes on Instagram, for the longest amount of time, as often as possible.
If you as a creator can play into that game, creating and sharing content that engages people more, for longer, than you'll win because Instagram is winning, and they're very interested in winning.
We developed and introduced a Feed that ranked posts based on what you care about most.
If someone sees your post, it's been decided by a computer that they either care about you, or they care about the content you're creating - or maybe both!
People tend to look for their closest friends in Stories, but they want to discover something entirely new in Explore. We rank things differently in different parts of the app, based on how people use them.
Stories, Reels, IGTV, Explore, the Feed, they all serve different purposes in the app - they are different organisations within the mother organisation.
we take all the information we have about what was posted, the people who made those posts, and your preferences. We call these “signals”, and there are thousands of them. They include everything from what time a post was shared to whether you’re using a phone or the web to how often you like videos. The most important signals across Feed and Stories, roughly in order of importance, are:
Information about the post. These are signals both about how popular a post is – think how many people have liked it – and more mundane information about the content itself, like when it was posted, how long it is if it’s a video, and what location, if any, was attached to it.
Information about the person who posted. This helps us get a sense for how interesting the person might be to you, and includes signals like how many times people have interacted with that person in the past few weeks.
Your activity. This helps us understand what you might be interested in and includes signals such as how many posts you’ve liked.
Your history of interacting with someone. This gives us a sense of how interested you are generally in seeing posts from a particular person. An example is whether or not you comment on each other’s posts.
Understand all the signal inputs that you can control - and those you cannot.
We try to avoid showing too many posts from the same person in a row. Another example is Stories that were “reshared” from Feed: until recently, we valued these Stories less, because we’ve heard consistently that people are more interested in seeing original Stories. But we see a swell of reshared posts in big moments – everything from the World Cup to social unrest – and in these moments people were expecting their Stories to reach more people than they did, so we stopped.
Instagram is constantly changing their algorithms and signals, so old advice, from old social media experts, from old blog posts or seminars, is most likely out of date and incorrect. The game changes daily.
(Regarding the Explore page), to find photos and videos you might be interested in, we look at signals like what posts you've liked, saved, and commented on in the past.
Everyone's explore page is unique and different and you get to play to those strengths by being you and sharing content that helps and entertains people you want to attract.
Reels is designed to entertain you. Much like Explore, the majority of what you see is from accounts you don’t follow.
Creating entertaining Reels is a powerful way of meeting new people on Instagram ... like people who might want to book you.
With Reels, though, we’re specifically focused on what might entertain you. We survey people and ask whether they find a particular reel entertaining or funny, and learn from the feedback to get better at working out what will entertain people, with an eye towards smaller creators. The most important predictions we make are how likely you are to watch a reel all the way through, like it, say it was entertaining or funny, and go to the audio page (a proxy for whether or not you might be inspired to make your own reel.)
Instagram is surveying people about what is entertaining?!?!?!
The truth is most of your followers won’t see what you share, because most look at less than half of their Feed.
The truth is the truth - Instagram doesn't dislike you, people just don't look at everything. Your followers, your fans, and people who don't even know you yet, don't owe you anything.
I'm going to just straight out copy and paste this bit in here. The rest of this blog post is literally verbatim from Instagram:
How you can influence what you see
How you use Instagram heavily influences the things you see and don’t see. You help improve the experience simply by interacting with the profiles and posts you enjoy, but there are a few more explicit things you can do to influence what you see.
Pick your Close Friends. You can select your close friends for Stories. This was designed as a way to let you share with just the people closest to you, but we will also prioritize these friends in both Feed and Stories.
Mute people you’re not interested in. You can mute an account if you’d like to stop seeing what they share, but are hesitant about unfollowing them entirely. This way, people don't know you've muted them.
Mark recommended posts as “Not Interested.” Whenever you see a recommendation, whether it’s in Explore or in Feed, you can indicate you are “not interested” in that post. We will do our best not to show you similar recommendations in the future.
Providing more context on how content is ranked, shown, and moderated on Instagram is only part of the equation. There is more we can do to help you to shape your Instagram experience based on what you like. We also need to continue to improve our ranking technology and, of course, make fewer mistakes. Our plan is to be proactive about explaining our work across all three areas from here on out. Stay tuned.
### You should charge more, and here’s 10 reasons why
Mel is struggling with mapping out her pricing as a celebrant, and when she mentioned it to me I went straight to a conversation I had with my brother earlier today. He’s looking at starting a new business based on professional skills he holds, and he was looking for some guidance walking into the project. So I’ll tell you what I told him, then give you ten good reasons why you should charge more.
How to enter a marketplace
Honestly, here’s a secret about business: the two most vacant segments of any marketplace are the top of the market and the bottom of the market.
Every one entering a marketplace aims for the middle of the market. The average, the middle-priced, the same-as-everyone segment of the marketplace where there’s $10 difference between you and everyone else there, and your products and services all look remarkably similar. The market segment already filled with everyone who entered and haven’t figure out how to be sustainable yet.
If you’re aiming to succeed either aim at the top of the market - providing extra value, over-the-top value and you charge accordingly high, or aim at the bottom of the market - where you systemise, automate, streamline, and scale yourself to the bottom of the price chart.
The easiest example of this is airlines: Qantas is a top of the market airline, Jetstar is at the bottom (and I’ll note that they are owned by Qantas), meanwhile Virgin and Rex are fighting over the middle. This is a gross generalisation of the domestic airline market in Australia, but it’s worth noting again that Qantas at the top of the market also owns the bottom of the market, having run Tiger out of town. Which airline is still sustainable today?
More importantly, I believe that a wedding, and your service as a wedding celebrant, firmly belongs at the top of the market. The bottom of the market is sufficiently serviced by government departments (the BDMs and registry offices) and very few celebrants have stories of joy and success from providing a comparable service. Those that do have successfully systemised and automated the process.
How do you know if you’re at the top of the market?
Here’s how you know you’re at the top of the market:
You charge more/the most.
You provide the most value to your clients.
You under promise and over deliver.
You’re just easier to deal with.
Paying you is easy and modern.
Contacting you is easy.
Contracting you is easy.
Choosing someone cheaper than you is harder.
You do one thing superbly well. So well that you are known for it.
You specialise in that thing.
You are remarkable, so remarkable in that, people are able to remark on you easily and without hesitation.
Ten reasons why you should charge more
Charging more signals to the marketplace of couples getting married that you are doing something different, that you are creating good and important work.
Other celebrants aren’t charging more, in fact they’re discounting and undercutting, which signals to the marketplace that they are doing less and providing less value.
You are a Commonwealth Authorised Marriage Celebrant, you are duly authorised by law to marry people according to the law in Australia. Less than 0.04% of Australia is like you. You’re special, you hold an important and great authority. Own it.
There might be almost 10,000 celebrants but less than 500 of them are operating at a full time capacity. Many are considering retirement in the future because the talent in the talent pool has increased and the pressure on delivering an epic marriage ceremony has increased far past what they were trained to deliver. So being a great celebrant is a rare title to hold. You are in a small community of really really good celebrants, I know that because I know how many celebrants are members and read our blog posts here - it’s so low it’s embarrassing - but the mere fact you are here means you want to grow and improve and become even more awesome than you are! Most of your celebrant colleagues think they’re finished with their professional development, this is their weakness and your strength.
This might be your tenth, hundredth, or thousandth wedding, but this is their one and only wedding. It deserves an awesome celebrant. A celebrant who earns a good wage so they’re not starving, and their home life is sustained and provided for. A celebrant who can afford to take a day, week, or god forbid, four weeks off a year so they can rest and rejuvenate LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS A JOB!
If you were a celebrant authorised before 2020 then you have just successfully completed a Diploma in Crisis and Disaster Management. Google for a certificate template and print that out and put it on the wall. You’ve just become an expert in event management through a crisis.
What’s the worst thing that happens? You charge more and earn more and you have a better life? And just say you charge too much, you could just tell me I’m wrong and lower your price and you’ve lost nothing.
Every year the cost of living goes up, the cost of food, houses, rent, cars, fuel, computers, internet, phones, and everything else goes up. Before 2020 the inflation rate was simmering around the 2% mark each year, after 2020 it’s been a little lower, but it’s increasing nonetheless. If your fee hasn’t increased at least in line with inflation you’re leaving money on the table, and worse, the money you’re earning is getting you less, as the costs around you increase every day.
And if you were operating through 2020 it’s a high chance that you actually lost money (sorry if I just triggered you) and that cost of a pandemic is a cost of business, of which needs to be covered by the revenue into that business.
Increasing your price raises your position in the marketplace, and the higher you go, the more joy you will find in your work as people choose you for you, as they choose you for the value you bring and the work you create. No longer will you be getting chosen because you were affordable and available, but because you are you and a couple resonated with that. If you’ve experienced this you’ll know what I mean and you’ll be smiling right now. If you haven’t experienced this then you’re in the fast lane to Burnout Town, population: you. You’re not a commodity, you are a talented, skilled, beautiful individual worthy of being paid a good fee, worthy of being appreciated and remunerated.
And if you disagree, please join me in the comments section below.
Bonus reason
It's so likely - so likely that it's almost 100% true for you reading this right now it's probably not likely for maybe 10 celebrants in the world - that you're currently undercharging. You're currently not charging enough to run a sustainable business.
That means that you're currently, essentially, funding other people's weddings with your own family's money. Let that sink in.
### How to be "out there" and trust the process
Krystal asks:
"I seek perhaps some advice on how I continue to be "out there" without sailing into the boring seas or moving into sharing content on social media that isn't relevant. Maybe I need to be patient with the process, once my first wedding is over and I'll feed my future marketing off that."
It was such a joy to read your entire email Krystal, I remember those early days and especially performing a family member's ceremony, that was my first too!
Here's the thing that you need to get deep down in your soul, and honestly all celebrants need to as well: you've got to know the process, love the process, trust the process. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is your business.
The process is simple and beautiful:
You need to have a good product, price, package, deal, customer journey. Before anyone books you in as their celebrant you need to have the whole deal ready to sell. Forms, systems, invoicing, a solid customer journey for the couple to experience.
You need to have a story to tell. You need a backbone. A conviction. And truth be told is that the conviction you start your celebrancy story with will evolve and mature to something greater in the years to come, but your story today is your story, so own it and be proud of it. Believe in something and go to war over it. Not enough people fight for good ideas these days, but those that are brave enough and strong enough to do so, always win.
You need to tell that story over and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, until you retire.
That's the process. It will grow and evolve and mature. But you need to trust the process because all the couples getting married in the next 1-2 years aren't all convening together in a secret group chat talking about who they're going to enquire and book with and when so it's all balanced and easy.
They are all individuals with their own personalities, habits, and tastes, marrying another individual who has their own buying habits, and wedding ideals, and they come together to create a once-off event. And some of them, dare I say that almost all of them, don't even know that you or I exist.
So the process is to 'dance naked in public' as Jerry Saltz described it, to tell that story on different mediums, to different people, to be "out there", in the hope and prayer that people who book celebrants like you, find out that you exist, and fall in love with you and book you.
Because in the end everyone is telling a story about how people like them do things like this.
Or you can just spend every cent you earn on Google and Facebook ads and join the race to the bottom of the market like everyone else.
### Advanced OPD topic on how to skin a rabbit
After a six month break from podcasting because our world's got crazy and busy, we talk about what was keeping us busy. Namely, reschedules and postponements and cancellations of weddings, and how that's affecting the whole industry.
Plus we go over our 2021 OPD - ongoing professional development - program in great depth. You're going to love it! Go to www.celebrant.training to see the whole offering.
### It's time to change the one month notice period to one week
To my fellow celebrants, I have a proposal regarding the one month notice period, and I'd like to run it up your flagpole, so to speak, and then take it to the Australian parliament: that the one month notice period required by the Marriage Act, be reduce to one week. Or even better, abolish the notice all together.
Here's my thoughts on the matter, and I'd like to hear yours in the comments below:
In most Western countries no notice, or short notice of 24 or 48 hours is required. Australia's one month notice is unique and the longest in the world that I can find through my research. The UK is the closest at 28 days notice required.
What is the spirit of the one month notice and is that spirit not adhered in other ways by celebrants ensuring that the couple are consenting? If a couple is of age and of consent, what difference is it if they want to marry today or in a month?
The administrative burden the notice of intended marriage brings celebrants, the Attorney-General's Marriage Law and Celebrants Section, and the state BDMs, seems to heavily outweigh the benefit the one month notice could bring.
The one month notice seems to be in conflict with the current government's and the AGD's reduction of red tape and encouragement of a free market.
The one month notice period is the most misunderstood element of the Australian marriage law, and yet it brings low value to marriages or the country.
If a shortening of time is required, this is almost always a painful process. Eliminating or reducing the notice would liberate this process.
I am taking this proposal to the AGD's MLCS in our next meeting in May, and will also table the proposal, and your comments, with my local Member of Parliament.
### What are the celebrant’s COVID-Safe obligations in NSW?
A celebrant asks:
RE NSW weddings
Covid sign in is doing my head in. Until recently I've asked couples to create their own Safety Plan(via https://www.nsw.gov.au/form/covid-safety-plan/wedding-ceremonies-and-receptions) to cover the ceremony, and reception too if that suits them. This way the couple becomes aware of their obligations and communications with guests, and guests/staff only have to sign in once for duration of wedding. The couple emails me their plan (I print and have at ceremony should it be asked for) and QR code (displayed for signing in), and couple organises someone to help those that need. Takes any pressure off me and covers all venues.
Also, I have my own safety plan that I provide couples and say, "where it says the couple will do xxx - that means you guys need to do that." I don't police anything.
Is this what other NSW celebrants are doing? Or what do they do? For all wedding venues, ie; public space, business venue, private home, community hall...
And... since it's okay to record attendees on https://www.nsw.gov.au/sites/default/files/2020-09/COVID-19-record-of-visitors-at-premises-form.pdf, how do you/the responsible 'business/couple' upload that info into Services NSW to be used for contact tracing? I've called the NSW Services hotline and gotten nowhere. Does each entry on the sheet need to then be added manually via the online concierge? Um - not. gonna, happen.
I think the easiest way to be covid safe is for the couple to create a compatible spreadsheet of anticipated guests, organise someone to tick them off as they arrive, add any extra guests by hand. I'd be happy to collect the list after the ceremony and upload it to Services NSW under my business name - if only I could.
What are other celebrants doing? What is the simplest, compliant way?
Open to suggestion and constructive criticism:)
Because neither Josh nor I work much in NSW, I contacted friend-of-The-Celebrant-Institute (and one of our OPD trainers) Alison Pickel to put together this response for us!
I don’t blame you for being confused! Across the country, COVID-19 regulations are changing all the time and it can be hard to keep up. In NSW, changes such as the number of people who can be on the dance floor are pretty well advertised, but less sexy changes – such as new ways we must keep records – are less well signposted and easy to miss.
What can make it even more difficult is that there are multiple documents to which we need to refer, and the wedding COVID-19 Safety Plan has been written with wedding venues in mind – not celebrants conducting outdoor ceremonies. Also, the Safety Plan is a mix of legal obligations and suggestions that are not requirements – it’s a minefield!
But to keep it as simple as possible, I’m going to address the main points in your question:
When is the celebrant responsible for COVID-19 Safety?
How should we collect attendee information?
How do we submit that information?
What are our other obligations as celebrants?
How do other NSW celebrants handle COVID responsibilities?
A caveat: I am not a lawyer. I have never had any kind of formal legal training. Everything below is general information based on my interpretation of the regulations. I’m also ONLY going to talk about NSW-specific regulations – sorry rest of Australia, Sarah and Josh will have to find another expert for you.
But first, some background…
At the time of writing this article (9th March 2021) there are two separate documents that work together to outline all the COVID restrictions for weddings in NSW:
Public Health (COVID-19 Restrictions on Gathering and Movement) Order 2021
Wedding Ceremonies & Receptions COVID-19 Safety Plan
It’s important to check back on these regularly as they are changing all the time – what I write here today may not be relevant next week, so do your due diligence.
And in my experience, it’s usually much more useful to skip the National Coronavirus Hotline and go through Service NSW on 13 77 88 for any questions. However, even then a lot of the operators are just quoting from fact sheets and haven’t read the Public Health Order, so don’t be shy about asking to speak to someone else if you feel like your question isn’t being answered properly.
When is the celebrant responsible for COVID-19 Safety?
Short answer: only for ceremonies held in public places, such a park.
Long answer: Under the Public Health Order, a wedding is considered a “significant event” which is covered under Division 3. Section 18 states:
“18 Definition
In this Division—
responsible person means—
(a) for a significant event held in a public park, a reserve or a public garden—the person organising the event or conducting the service, and
(b) for another significant event—the occupier of the premises.”
Here’s a quick table of what I think that means:
Wedding ceremony or reception location
Responsible person
Public park, reserve or garden
The celebrant and/or MC OR the wedding planner OR the couple
Wedding venue or community hall
The venue operator
Private residence (outside Greater Sydney only)
The people who live there
Note that currently weddings at private residences in Greater Sydney (including Wollongong and Central Coast) are not considered significant events and therefore don’t need safety plans – instead they operate under the residential premises rules which limits the number of visitors to 50.
What is the “responsible person” responsible for?
There are three key things the responsible person must do:
Develop and comply a COVID-19 Safety Plan based on the approved checklist i.e., THIS – that also means they are responsible for ensuring other comply with the plan (Section 19(a)).
Have a copy of the COVID-19 Safety Plan at the event, ready to present to an authorised officer or police officer on request (Section 19(b)).
Comply with all record keeping requirements (Sections 41 (2 & 5)) – more on this below.
The responsible person must also make sure no more than 30 people are dancing at the same time (Section 21), but this is covered as part of the Safety Plan.
How must we collect information?
The relevant part how people must provide their information for civil wedding ceremonies is in Section 41(3)(c):
“ […] by electronically registering the person’s contact details by means of a mobile phone or other device at the time the person enters the premises with—
(i) Service NSW, or
(ii) the occupier of the premises.
Note. For example, electronically registering a person’s contact details may be by the use of a QR code or another electronic method that records the person’s name, telephone number or email address and the time at which the person entered the premises.”
Because of this, you must have a QR code or something similar for people to enter their details at a wedding. You can either use the Service NSW app (you’ll receive a QR Code for your business if you register as a COVID-Safe Business here) or use your own QR code and form to collect the information.
If the ceremony and venue are at different locations, people will need to check in at each location. If someone cannot check-in because of age, disability or language barriers, there are provisions for another person to complete registration on their behalf.
Recording attendees on a pdf or spreadsheet and ticking people off by hand would not be compliant.
How do we submit that information?
The beauty of using the Service NSW app is that you don’t have to submit anything. All the info goes straight to the relevant authorities automatically and you don’t have to worry about keeping everyone’s information secure.
The downside is that the business registration is fixed to an address, so if a cluster emerged, it might look like you had 300 people chilling out at your home. I called the NSW COVID-19 hotline about this and they didn’t really have a solution for this. They just suggested that when the contact tracers called to say that a case had occurred at the business, we explain the nature of what we do so they can manually update the location.
If you decide to collect the info with your own QR Code and form, then you are required to hold on to the information for 4 weeks, after which you can delete it. You are only required to submit that information on request to the Chief Health Officer within 4 hours (Section 41(4)). There is no need to upload this information anywhere unless specifically requested.
What are our other obligations as celebrants?
Even if we are not the “responsible person”, we still must comply with all the COVID-19 Safety regulations and, in fact, all laws. It’s part of our Code of Practice and it’s, well, ya know, the LAW. So please do read the Public Health Order and the Safety Plans – ignorance is not an excuse if you’re caught doing the wrong thing.
How do other NSW celebrants handle COVID responsibilities?
I can only tell you what I do – and my way is not the only way to be compliant, but you might find it helpful.
In a public place, I take on the role of the responsible person rather than the couple. It makes sense to do this because I’m doing weddings all the time and I’m a super-nerd who has read all the requirements and understands how to implement them. Also, I just don’t trust the couple to do it properly, and if we get caught out, I could be considered culpable.
If the wedding is NOT in a public place, I don’t collect info or make a plan – it’s simply not my job. However, if it’s at a private residence, I will usually help the couple/residents write the plan (I just don’t take responsibility to implement it).
I write a separate COVID-19 Safety Plan for each wedding. I do this during a Zoom meeting with the couple the week of the wedding and email them a copy. Of course, I have a template to speed things up, but there is some specific information that only the couple can provide. There are also some things I need the couple to do, such as inform their guests not to come if they are unwell.
I use the QR code for the Service NSW app for people to sign in with. I set it up near the front of the ceremony and remind everyone to sign in BUT…
I also ask the couple for a spreadsheet with all the guests and vendors names and contact numbers or emails, which I delete after four weeks exactly. Let’s face it – a QR code at an outdoor ceremony is impractical. Unlike a wedding venue that can hire a staff member to stand at a physical door and ensure everyone checks in, an outdoor ceremony is harder to police, especially while you’re also busy setting up for the wedding. Also, the wedding party will often not have their phones on them anyway.Just to clear, this is NOT a compliant way to collect information, so I still have to use the QR code, but I just like to have it as a back-up in case the contact tracers ever get in touch. It also increases my liability by storing personal information I don’t need to hold on to, so that is something to consider if you also want to try this.
I said I was going to keep it simple, but the truth is, there are a lot of “it depends” factors when it comes to COVID-19 regulations. But as long as you are across when it’s your responsibility, how to collect information, and filling in the Safety Plan, you should have most of your bases covered.
### Managing marriage documentation after death of a celebrant
A celebrant asks:
Just had a call from the local FD asking me if I knew what the family of a celebrant who died on the weekend needs to do re their wedding paperwork and records. No upcoming ceremonies, but several years of archived files, including recent weddings.
I’ve seen it written somewhere, but can’t spot it in the Guidelines. I’m assuming the AG needs notification, but it’s more what has to be done with NOIMS etc.
Can one of you gurus point me in the right direction?
Here's my quick and dirty rundown of how to deal with the marriage documentation after the death of a celebrant:
1. Completed paperwork should be destroyed securely; the rules changed in 2018 and families no longer need to keep this information. So any completed (or even half-completed) registers etc should be shredded or incinerated. If a celebrant has any really old registers, I would be contacting their local BDM and/or any family history groups to see if they want them for historical purposes. They probably won't, but it's worth offering!
2. Blank NOIMs, DONLIMs and OCMs can be given to another celebrant or simply thrown out; if they have no identifying information on them they can just go in the recycling bin.
3. Blank Form 15s should be transferred to another celebrant if at all possible, mostly so that they don't go to waste! Otherwise they must be securely destroyed; they cannot be given to someone who is not an authorised celebrant. (I have not suggested noting the details of the certificate numbers, the celebrant they were transferred to or the destruction date, because that information would be kept on a Record of Use form. Record of Use forms would be kept by a resigning celebrant for six years, but under the Marriage Regulations 2017, this requirement does not apply to a dead or permanently incapacitated celebrant.)
4. AGD needs to be notified of the death or resignation of a celebrant by following the instructions on this webpage: https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/marriage/resources-marriage-celebrants/manage-your-registration
5. If there were any ceremonies booked and potentially live NOIMs, these marriages (and their NOIMs) would need to be transferred to another authorised marriage celebrant. In this case that wasn't an issue.
That's it!
### 12 months defending wedding industry disputes due to covid
I thought I would spend this fine morning outlining some of the things that I have learned over the course of the last 12 months when it comes to disputes in the wedding industry due to the Coronavirus and COVID-19.
Here they are:
Suppliers have not experienced a raft of disputes with couples. More often than not, its been one or two experiences with couples and it has shaken a supplier up.
For the most part, suppliers have reached agreement on how to proceed when plans have gone array with each of their couples. It is just that that one experience has caused anxiety about what could possibly happen going forward. It's a reasonable anxiety, but I truly believe that there is still solid, mutual respect between couples and suppliers at the moment. Don't let the media fool you into thinking there isn't.
Booking fees/deposits/retainers have been an area of contention. This has been the result of confusion of couples who assume it is just money used to put a "hold" on the day, and released when they don't need it any longer. This needs to be dealt with through better wording in your terms and conditions. There is no other way around it. Your booking fee clause needs to be written very carefully.
The hardest hit in terms of financial loss has been those who have perishable items as part of their service (foods, flowers). However, that is also the easiest to explain when retaining money from couples. Because it is tangible loss, couples can wrap their heads around the measurement of loss. However, some of the harder hit suppliers have been venues, where there really is a misunderstanding of the work in the lead up to keep the venue in condition and the struggle to replace a wedding in its place.
By far the riskiest business model to run right now is an event planning business who takes all monies from the couple and then pays the vendors on their behalf. Its risky and I am outright advising people at this stage to not do it. You risk a clash between asking for money back from the various vendors to give back to the couples (in the event of a frustration situation) or you are having to take the hit as the "middle man" because of the heat that is being placed on you from the couple.
Another hot tip....do NOT place "pandemic" into a force majeure clause without legal advice. It is clear that despite there being a pandemic, it is entirely possible for weddings to go ahead. It becomes a mechanism by the couple to use in circumstances where they really have decided to change their mind about their wedding, or certain aspects of it, and then pointing to COVID as being the reason for the cancellation.
Even if you do have a force majeure clause, the result of a force majeure situation should not be a complete termination of the contract and money back. Force majeure is not an easy concept and you should not attempt to amend or draft it yourself. In fact, don't automatically assume that you need one. A bad force majeure clause is more dangerous than not having one at all.
Its in your favour to keep the communication lines open with various suppliers. Its not a case of bitching behind your client's back. It's a case of keeping an ear about any inconsistencies in stories. Again, this is not saying that you cannot trust your couples and it is not the case that all couples are liars. However, I have had the odd occasion (5% of matters) where a couple has told their photographer that they are very unwell and cannot proceed, but will have told the venue that they can no longer afford the venue and then told the stylist that they are pulling out because of COVID. You don't even need to make a big deal out of it, but its a case of just being aware that that kind of behaviour may result in a dispute.
Be wary of statements like "oh well every other supplier has refunded me my deposit". Firstly, that may not be true. Secondly, you are not obligated to follow other people's paths. Different suppliers have different contracts. They have different business models. They have different tolerance to risk.
Of most importance, don't judge other suppliers about how they treat the return of money. I repeat again from #9. Every business is different. Don't make comment to the couple about what other suppliers "should" be doing. Reserve your opinion on it because even though you are an "industry" and should all stick together, it is dangerous to set an expectation for the couple that everyone "should" be as "nice" as you are by refunding money. Being "nice" doesn't pay the bills. Being "nice" won't stop your business from going insolvent or you going into bankruptcy. If there is room to give money back or bend on your business model, by all means, do it but don't set any kind of expectation with your couple that everyone should also do so.
Those last two points are pretty hard hitting and I am cautious that I should be "staying in my lane" when it comes to industry behaviour but these are just observations. Issues arising from it are popping up on the odd occasion and so I want to just give assurance to those suppliers who are barely keeping their head about water that it is entirely okay to stick to your guns about keeping money that you are entitled to when everyone around you aren't taking that same position.
### Facebook's a bit salty at us
After posting a guide on making sure you and your business is prepared if and when the Facebook ban hammer falls on you, the Facebook ban hammer fell on us.
When we saw that Facebook had (in my own personal opinion, correctly) responded to the Australian Prime Minister's pandering to Rupert Murdoch but banning news from Facebook in Australia, I checked our page to see if it had been swept up in the mess, and on Friday morning it had not.
In response to Facebook's actions I wrote a piece on the Celebrant Institute website about preparing your business for a time that maybe your Facebook page, or other online sites, would not be available to you. Members can read that here.
On Saturday morning, though I noticed that our engagement had dropped from the regular few hundred people who would organically see our posts, to zero.
We've lodged an appeal to Facebook on a few fronts, unsure if any of them are the correct course of action. If you know the best way to convince Facebook that we aren't Rupert Murdoch's playboy bunnies, please get in touch.
### When Facebook shuts you down, are you ready?
Today, being the 18th day of February 2021, thousands of Australians woke up to find that their livelihoods were decided by a CEO in California. Australian news organisations had their Facebook pages basically shut down because Facebook doesn't want to play ball with the Australian government.
There's a lot to be said about that entire action, but this isn't a membership website for news organisations, it's for celebrants.
Are you prepared
Your Facebook page, Instagram page, Google My Business account, your LinkedIn, and god forbid any of you have a Parler account, but they're all not your property. Running your business on the back of those properties is like going to your local cafe and setting up shop at a table. Putting up a little sign with Married By John Citizen on it, and accepting meetings and enquiries there. It might be ok for the longest period of time (thanks for hosting me, Sisterhood Coffee), but at any time that business owner can ask you to leave and not come back. That coffee shop owes you nothing. Facebook, Instagram, Google, Bing, Parler, LinkedIn, Mailchimp, Squarespace, Snapchat, Blogger, TikTok, Youtube, Twitter, owe you nothing. They can shut you down any time they like, just like they have to Australia's ABC, Courier Mail, Sydney Morning Herald, and hundreds of other pages managed by thousands of content editors and journalists.
Are you prepared for this? It might never happen. But it could, and if it did, are you prepared?
How to prepare
Is your best writing, your best content, your best photos, ideas, videos, stored on your own website/blog?
Are your reviews on those platforms backed up in a document, and shared on your own website?
Are you building relationships with your tribe by building an email and/or sms list?
Are you diversifying your social media content creation and relationship building by trying new social networks, and posting on older ones. If you lose one, will the other networks provide for your lead and tribe building?
Finally, this is the big one: Are you focused on building a long term brand, not a short term sale?
Building brand
If your focus is on building a brand. Someone who is known for doing a certain kind of work, in a certain kind of way, for a certain kind of people, is building a brand.
When you are brand building, you can move from platform to platform, not worrying if Facebook shut you down or if the Instagram algorithm changes, because you are focused on building community in your tribe around your brand.
A solid brand is identifiable, memorable, and meaningful. This is the main reason I encourage celebrants to drop the fancy brand names like "Married By" or "Cool Noun and Cool Noun Weddings" and just stick with their personal name, that way your tribe has to remember less things.
Build a brand. Use and abuse the platforms for your brand building. Don't cry over losing one network - like Facebook - because you're building on others at the same time.
### Quick way to complete the Certificate IV in Celebrancy
A friend asks me today what the quickest way is to complete the Cert IV in Celebrancy, the qualification needed to become a celebrant in Australia. Friends of my friend reckon she'd be a great celebrant and they'd like her to marry them. So although I already had some idea of what was required, I like feeling out the bounds of our society and seeing what money, time, goodwill, and effort can get you. Not that I want to game the system, but I wondered, if someone sat down with our own Oracle, Sarah Aird, for a week, could they gun through the Certificate IV?
So I sent her a text.
It turns out the Certificate IV in Celebrancy as it stands in 2021 is a far more intense course than even I bargained for.
So the quickest way to complete the Cert 4 in Celebrancy, if you invested 40 hours a week, would be to complete in six months, and even then you have to apply to become a celebrant at the AGD!
Sarah's current advice is that if you can invest 20 hours a week, maybe that's four hours a night for five nights a week after work, or that's investing 10 hours a day across your weekend, you could qualify in a year.
So if you're still up for the task, apply now.
Or just find a qualified celebrant already in the business and ready to rumble.
### Where to focus on your celebrancy in 2021
It's been a weird year behind us as a wedding industry. I don't want to dwell on it for fear of crying, but I'm of the belief that sometime soon we need to focus our energies forward, and I wanted to encourage you to do the same, with a framework that answers a big question: where should we focus?
If you're a beginner celebrant, if you're not full time yet, if you're still finding your feet: execution.
If your business has taken off but you wouldn't call yourself an expert yet, we'll call you the intermediate celebrant, strategy.
For the expert, mindset.
The beginner celebrant
The beginner celebrant phase can be as long as you decide for yourself - for me it was 2009 to 2014, five years. I went full time at the end of 2013, and spent 2014 leaving the beginner phase.
The beginner celebrant should focus their 2021 on execution.
Focus on executing:
Perfect marriage paperwork systems and submissions, online, etc
A solid ceremony
A great website and social media presence that brings in the right people
Good sales and booking systems
Good financial systems
Focusing on execution means your business can function off life support.
And if you've mastered execution, maybe you're ready for the next step ...
The intermediate celebrant
The intermediate celebrant has gone full time, they've left their work, and they're on the way up to a place where they're becoming prouder of their celebrancy every day.
The intermediate celebrant should focus their 2021 on strategy.
Focusing on strategy means:
Setting goals, and working towards reaching them
Removing inefficiencies in your business processes
Creating a solid customer journey
Working on the long term financial sustainability of your business
And if you've mastered strategy, maybe you're ready for the next step ...
The expert celebrant
The expert celebrant is the celebrant who has almost completed the video game that is business, with one last enemy remaining: their own brain.
The expert celebrant should focus their 2021 on mindset.
Focusing on mindset will lead you to:
Checking your biases
Checking your privileges
Reimagining your "must dos", your status quo, those things that you've always done "that way" because that's the best way to do it.
Talking to friends and even possibly psychologists or therapists about where your thoughts are holding your back, those parts of your life and business that are being hindered by your mindset.
Questioning your beliefs about your business, your abilities, your skills, and your strengths and weaknesses.
And if you've mastered your mindset, that probably means you haven't.
Get help
Regardless of where you are, we're here to help. If you have questions, members get to ask them here, or comment below.
And if you're a beginner celebrant, execution is my core strength, so get in touch about a mentor session. For strategy and mindset seeking people, I'm always keen to chat, but there are definitely smarter people than me that can help you there.
### How to accept crypto currencies for your work
A celebrant has written in to the Celebrant Institute asking the question: “How can I, and should I, accept crypto currency for celebrancy?”
There are three questions worth answering here: Can I? Should I? How?
Can you accept cryptocurrency for celebrancy?
Of course you can accept crypto currency for celebrancy work. Heck, some of us even give it away for free or for less than what it would cost to go to the registry office. You just need to acknowledge a few things.
Cryptocurrency isn't a single thing, it's a genre of currencies. There are many, and most are tradeable back to the Australian dollar. I would make sure I only accepted a crypto currency that I could turn into AUD the next minute. Popular cryptocurrencies include Bitcoin, XRP, Litecoin, Dogecoin, Ethereum, Qoin, and others.
There's no need to accept every single crypto currency, you might choose one, or five, or so. Each crypto currency you accept requires its own wallet and all of a sudden you're sending multiple wallet addresses to multiple people and it gets confusing. I personally only accept two, Qoin and Bitcoin.
You need a wallet to store your crypto currency in - a crypto currency wallet is a software storage of your currency. If you don't know much about this, I would use CoinSpot because they're Australian and they're legit. If you do know what a cryptocurrency wallet is then you're free to go wherever you want to.
When you accept a crypto currency for work, it's not actually taxable income yet. It's an asset you've received. It's not until you cash it out that it becomes income as the ATO sees it, and they will. So If you get paid $1000 AUD in Bitcoin for example, at time of writing, this would be 0.02241262 Bitcoin. If you then leave it in Coinspot for a period of time, it's quite likely that the value in AUD will change. When you sell that Bitcoin and convert it to AUD it might be worth more, or possibly less. That AUD amount is what you'll class as income and allow the ATO to take a share.
Once you've been paid the crypto currency it's 100000000% up to you what you do with it. Do you sell it straight away and take the Australian dollars. Or do you trade for a little while? You're in charge.
Should you accept cryptocurrency for celebrancy?
This is a personal issue, but if yo;'re asking, yes. I think you should accept crypto currency.
Not because crypto is cool and fancy. But because we're in the business of creating epic weddings for people, and our job as a business person is to make the transfer of value easy and joyful. If they have Qoin, and they want to pay you in Qoin, take the Qoin. Just make sure you're aware of the risks and you don't get yourself too deep.
It's easy to get involved in the trading aspect of it, but I would encourage you to stay in reality and use the crypto for either purchasing other things like you can on Qoin, or trading for Australian currency.
How do I accept cryptocurrency for celebrancy?
Instead of sending bank details like BSB and account number, or PayID, you'll send the couple your wallet address. With your wallet address people can easily send you money, it's like an email address. People knowing your wallet address isn't a problem, they can't access your wallet or funds, or hack you, with that wallet address. But don't advertise it publicly.
If you wanted to send me Qoin for example, my wallet address might be
(it's not my wallet address).
I would ask you to send the Australian currency price, as it currently is worth to Qoin, or whichever cryptocurrency you're accepting. Most apps like the Qoin wallet or Coinspot allow you to convert on the fly. This is what the Qoin app looks like:
Be adventurous, be wise, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Cryptocurrency has a massive future in Australian business and you've got a chance to lead the way!
As for recording the transactions, I would maintain a spreadsheet of transactions in and out, how many of each coin, at what rate, and what the resultant AUD currency was. Your account will need to know for income sake.
### Ultimate Guide to Creating Automation For Your Customer Journey
I recently spoke via video at the Wedding Business CEO Summit (which you can still attend by buying an All Access Pass) and spoke on the process of creating a customer journey. My talk was called There’s A Fraction Too Much Friction: Automation For Your Customer Journey. It's about automating the things that you can automate, that you should automate, so you can really sow your efforts into the important parts of your business - the things a robot or a computer or a PA could never replace. The things that make you, you!
I believe this is an important and valuable topic for all wedding business people to get in their life, and I'm so glad I get to share it with Celebrant Institute members.
The Summit is mostly Americans, and the talk was designed for Americans, so I apologise in advance if anything sounds out of place.
Make sure you download the workbook as well so you can put the education into action.
https://vimeo.com/491016482
Transcript
Hello, my name is Josh Withers. And in this talk, I'm talking about automation, but not the kind that you're probably used to and not the kind that's going to destroy humanity, à la pop culture, news or society or people talking. I'm just talking about using the tools that are at our disposal. And now this is a, it's a little bit practical, but it's a little bit more, more philosophical because I believe before you pick up a tool, whether it's an ax, whether it's a car, you know, a hammer, whatever it might be, that you would know why you're using it. And it may well be that you pick up a tool and you find a purpose in learning to use the tool. And that's very much what can happen with tools. I'll talk about today, like Zapier, or If This Then That, or even just apps you probably already got installed in your phone, like Facebook or Instagram or email, but more so I want to try and craft a journey beneath all of them so that when you pick up those tools, they have purpose meaning, and they actually do something for you.
Something that matters something that changes systems, processes, and real life activities in your life and your business, and even more so that it would actually matter for your couples for your clients, but your people that hire you would have a much better experience, dare I say they would have a whimsical, joyful experience because you chose to do the deep, hard work you had to do and you automated, what you didn't have to. So if you are interested in that then tune on in. I think one of the most beautiful things about operating, working in the wedding industry is just the pure opportunity that's available to us just to bring a whimsy and joy, to just regular beautiful, plain old people on the street, just to bring amazing, beautiful experiences to them. It's the kind of thing that they usually only get when they go to, you know, your Disney or they fly first class with an upgrade on points or something like that.
It's, it's the kind of experience they don't get every day, which has always been a part of the the core of the wedding industry, that whole #OnePerfectDay. And, and I don't like that element of the industry because it can, yeah, I'll be honest with you. It can lead to really high expectations, big disappointments, and what actually is just a good, beautiful, pure day can end up with just sometimes a sad face and maybe that's because expectations of the client weren't met and they didn't know that those expectations came with a certain price tag, and there's a whole, there's a whole confusing element there that we can sidetrack on, but I just really do. I just love that I have the opportunity to walk into people's weddings and just make an amazing, so I'll introduce you to myself and what I do and who I am, and and then lead you into how I do that, which is just provide that, that really beautiful whimsical experience to my couples.
And and it's because of that, that I I have a full-time business with myself and my wife both employed in it. We tried to get our toddler involved, but she's another interested yet. So maybe one day she'll join the family business, but look, my name is Josh Withers. I live on the gold coast in Australia and on a celebrant now for some people in different parts of the world, ah, the word celebrant might be interchanged with say officiant or basically person who stands up at the ceremony and marries people that are, that you would be married because I was the person standing there and I made a ceremony. So I suppose you could simplify and say that I create epic marriage ceremonies. I'll do that in what you might call your big old plain wedding, you know, with the million guests and all of the trimmings.
I'm very lucky. I'm very blessed that maybe about half of my work is with my wife, Brit who founded the Elopement Collective. It's kind of weirdly become a hashtag on Instagram that has nothing to, nothing to do with us, #elopmentcollective. But if you look at, @elopementcollective on Facebook or Instagram, or even just the elopmentcollective.com, you can see there that Brits created just another one of those whimsical beautiful businesses in the wedding industry that create really epic experiences for people. And so I'm really proud of that. I think that's the we've made a beautiful business and I find it a joy to, to operate in those two strengths one, the kind of production, if you might call it for the weddings and I am, and I love doing elopements. And the reason I like the both of them is it's kind of like it's using two different muscles.
You see, I see a wedding as something that's for everyone. And then an elopement, something that's not for everyone. It's just for a couple and maybe a few people witness it. But if at any point, if it starts becoming about the guests, that's a wedding and elopement is about the two people getting married. And I think that's really awesome. And and like I've alluded to, I've found so much strength in creating an epic experience for the couple, not just in that moment when they get married, but the whole experience. I honestly think that's my, that's my secret sauce. That's my strength. Like I really do believe I make amazing marriage ceremonies but the thing with a marriage ceremony is that there's no, there's no number one ultimate ceremony. There's no number one, ultimate celebrant. You know, I wouldn't say that I'm the best celebrant in the world.
Maybe I am. Who knows because there's no real, there's no ladder, there's no water, there's no Grammys or there's no there's no chart of who's the best because a great ceremony for you might not be made for me. And if I did make it for you, you'd be really upset because what I make is, is this artisinal beautiful thing. That is a personal ceremony for people who have the same worldviews as me and people that believe the same as me. And I've really leaned into that really strongly across our entire business, which is why I feel confident bringing it to you, not in the realm of so much business advices. I won the lotto here in my lotto numbers. No, what I'm saying is that I, I win the lotto every single day and here's my system for choosing the right numbers. And that's what I'm going to bring it today. It's all about creating an epic customer journey.
This talk is called There's a Fractions Too Much Friction by the end of the talk I hope and believe that you can create an epic journey for your clients to take that will deliver your product and service, product or service beautifully with whimsy, joy, beauty, simplicity, wonder. That what you do, wouldn't just be on a wedding day. And for many of you, maybe it isn't depending on what the service or product you provide, but that your, your whole experience that the thing that's on the invoice is this wider experience. And it didn't happen accidentally. It happened very purposefully that your clients would go on a journey that you crafted and much like going on a ride on Disney. You might notice that the you know, the, the rollercoaster doesn't just go everywhere, I guess, in this very specific journey whether it's a ride that takes you, you know, through a beautiful, beautiful river, that journey is pre-planned and we've designed it to be whimsical and beautiful.
And the secret is to filter the right people in and out of the journey, because not everyone's going to like the journey, but you'll get the right people on the journey that you would create this slide that they could go on, that would just be whimsical. I view the whole customer journey idea as a, what we call a slippery dip. I live in Queensland in Australia. I hear other parts of Australia called a slippery slide as for the rest of the world. I don't know. But it's one of these things. And the reason I like this slippery slide or slippery dip I'm probably just going to call it a slippery dip, cause there's a little dip. And the reason I like that analogy for a customer journey is because of the entire place that a slippery dip exists. You see slippery dips don't exist everywhere.
Like they're not just in the middle of roads. They're not just in the middle of restaurants. There they're in places that are designated playgrounds. I really do like the idea of the wedding industry, being a playground like bad things don't happen on playgrounds, fun things happen. It's this beautiful journey. And there's all these different rides and experiences in a playground. It might be the swing set. It might be the slide that could be the monkey bars or the climbing gym or whatever it might be. And you can choose to be any one of those objects in this and the playground. I'm going to be the slippery dip. The whole journey begins as people find out that a playground exists. I think that's always really funny, but me as a dad, I drive around town and I identify new playgrounds because I've got a toddler. I want to take it to all the best playgrounds.
So I've started amassing this playground database in my head. And before I was a dad, I didn't know about any playgrounds had no idea. The second you become a parent, all of a sudden your playground mad, you've got all the best playgrounds mapped out. You got the closest playgrounds. If you've got a bit of time up your sleeve and go to that playground, if you're up at the end of town, there's a really epic playground. And you know, you, might've had other friends with kids and you're like, Hey guys, on Saturday, we're all going to go to this playground. That's an epic playground. And I liked that idea of the wedding industry being that, that as people become engaged, as they start going down, that rabbit hole of we're getting married, what does that mean? That they would encounter a playground and you've positioned yourself in that playground.
Imagine the playground as a marketplace. Imagine it as a mall, markets, whatever you need to imagine it as, and all of the wedding vendors that are like you are in the same place. So the first step on the customer journey is people just finding out that the playground exists is this for me? And like, we've all done. Like I've driven past some playground thoughtnot for my daughter, it's not cool enough. So people will start filtering themselves out early. They'll look at the playground from afar and say, not for me, but per chance they might get out of the car and start walking around the playground, surveying the different elements of the playground. What can I play on? This is what I call the marketing and sales part of the whole journey that people, first of all, have to identify as someone that's getting married. So they book a wedding business and then once they figure out that your, the kind of business they might want to have, and they might not even know your existing.
That's the beautiful thing about the wedding industry is that you can start today. You're in the same footing as everyone else, because there's not that long-term brand resilience that that really matters. And other places like if you're buying groceries or cars, I don't want to buy a car from some new upstart, but the wedding industry, I don't know, I've never heard of any of these people. So it's a little bit more of a level footing and important part of this process is to remember that, that your existence now in the playground is a big part of your sales and marketing journey. That how you look from the outside before anyone ever calls you before anyone ever emails, you sees you at an expo or a fair or a directory or in a Facebook group that before they ever find out that you exist. But there is this, this early stage where someone looks at you from afar.
This is not indifferent with regular retail shops. So we walked through malls and we see a store though, I'm might go inside there, automation and your business takes its very first role here where you would identify that there are easy, simple, dare, even called it stupid things that, that you can automate to make you look great and amazing and and worthy of inquiring with before people ever, even before you've had to lift a finger, but more importantly, that this can happen at one o'clock in the morning or two on this two o'clock on a Saturday or whatever it might be that this is an automated process. Things I think about here automating social media. Now what about any social media is not terribly favorable with the algorithms, but you can schedule social media. So the automated part of this might be sitting down on a Tuesday and mapping out the next week or the next month and creating some posts that are scheduled to go out so that at the time when the people come onto the playground and find out that you exist, that checking your social media and seeing whether you're active and whether you're fresh, whether you're doing new work and interesting work, that that's an automated thing that doesn't keep you up in mind that you might do what I do sometimes get home from a wedding on a Saturday like, Oh, I haven't posted on social all day long.
How will people know that I exist in the them doing good work, automate that stuff. I'm not going to tell you how to, because so much ofit is built into Facebook today. And honestly you might watch this talk and. there might be a brand fangdangled new social network that everyone's getting excited about and there'll be automated parts of that, that I just can't even talk to. Cause I didn't even know it existed at the time I was writing this. So figuring out how to automate those visible elements of your business, this comes down to things like your blog or your journal or your active parts of your website as well. Now, once again, automating this as hard because this is deep and important work. This is you capturing and journaling what you do as a, as a wedding business owner. So automating it as far as just sending it to the robots.
Probably not that easy and probably not that worthwhile, to be honest with you, but the automating part of this might be outsourcing, or it might be doing that batching. You put us put aside a day a month and this is when I write the blog post for the next month or two and you schedule them up and you send them out. I do this every month. It's so important to be blogging on our different websites. So we're back to the playground and people have noticed that you, the slippery dip, if they do exist and they've taken a look on from the outside, they've looked at your social media, had a quick look at your reviews. They've had a quick look at the website and I thought, I wonder if this is the slippery dip for me. Now, if you've ever written a slippery dip or a slippery slide, you'd know that you're not fully committed until you're going down the slide, that ladder up the slide is quite noncommittal. You can turn around at any time and crawl back down. I called this the inquiry process. This is the part of the journey where people, if they haven't already filtered themselves out, this is where it really happens at the easiest filter of all is price. But there's other filters that are way more important than price, which is, you know, do you do the kind of work that they want? Is the kind of work that you make, is it appreciated by people like this? Because as much as it's nice to just earn money, how nice is it to do work that matters for people that appreciate it? So the inquiry process is also for you and them, it's not just for them to find out whether you're available and how much. God, if I ever get another email that says how much I am, I'll probably just shut down.
I've literally crafted my entire business of this whole talk is so I don't get emails. I say how much? So I'll tell you about my process and and you can mirror it to yours however you want. The important part is that I've got a solid journey, I've got a road over those ladders at the steps that people would take to take the slide and there's elements that are flexible and I get to choose now. So the first ladder on the step is that finding the place on your website, where people can get in touch. Is it the inquiry form? Is that a contact form? Is that a phone number? Is it a text? This is your very first chance to really start narrowing that path and saying, look, I only do business like this. I've got a good friend who loves a good phone call about his work.
He loves to get an inquiry and call them back. Or he loves to get a phone call. I don't want to get a phone call ever. So I work really hard to make sure people don't find out my phone number at that stage. I don't mind people knowing my phone number. I just don't want you to call and ask how much. I want you to engage with the process. I want you to validate yourself early. I want you to opt in to my customer journey. So we've done two different things here before. One of them was just to request an information pack the form, literally just asked for an email address and a name you click submit and an automated email would be sent to you saying, Hey person, here's your information pack that you requested. Now the information pack, isn't a PDF because PDFs can be changed after they've been sent and also PDFs are not responsive.
So if they're viewing it on a mobile, which they probably are, then it looks weird to go to zoom in. It's just not a nice experience. So we would say requesting information back and they would get sent an email. And that literally just had a link in it. And that link was a page that I could update on my page at any time. So it was a secret page on my website. I made sure that I had the robot style text option off. So that search engines wouldn't wouldn't crawl that page. So it wouldn't come up in search results. If people asked how much Joshua is, but it was the kind of page I could only send you now, obviously people could pass it on to other people. It's not giving you a top secret government information. I just want people to opt into the process.
Now I no longer do an information pack because I'd want it to make this part of the journey a little bit narrower. I can't be everyone's celebrant. I've got a toddler, a toddler recording. I've got a baby on the way. And I can't be out at a 1000 sales meetings and I can't be at 1000 weddings. So I've had to increase my price a little bit out of had to narrow that journey so that people that inquire are really in on me. So here's what I do now. The next step on the ladder as they make an inquiry form is I open up an app called Bonjoro it's an Australian app, B O N J O R O and Bonjoro allows me to send video emails. Now here's an important automation. The inquiry form, they fill it out. That creates an entry in Bonjoro thanks to Zapier. So I can open the Bonjoro app and straight then and there is their name and email address. I can click send an email. I've already got the email address. I don't have to be copying and pasting email addresses or anything like that. In one drawer, I've already credited the contact. I record an email that says, "Hey, Jack and Jill, Josh here. I'd love to be a celebrant". And I give a little bit of a spiel, make sure the video is no longer than 45, 60 seconds. And then that same video email, I send them the information pack. So as they opened the information pack, they've already had a really personal view of who I am and how I work. And at this point, they're just like, I just want to know how much, but I'll probably pay any price. That's my hope. Anyway, you see every part of this journey I keep on coming back to it is you filtering people in and out that when you automate work, that you're automating the boring, repetitive things that just aren't that valuable to your business.
And honestly, sometimes the easiest way to automate something is to just not have to do the work at all. And it filtering people out, whether it's via inquiry process, sending a video, I get a lot of emails saying, you're lovely we just can't afford you. And I'm, I'm grateful that we had that experience and, and the, if they can't afford me, that's okay. I can't afford to be their celebrant. So we've come to the process really easily. You see your not for everyone and everyone isn't for you, your job in this whole inquiry process, as people take the steps up the ladder to hopefully ride that slide. That is your business is to in a non-discriminatory way in a non exclusionary way, filter people in and out. I say that importantly I hope that no, one's watching this thinking great. I can, I can filter out people from China.
I can filter out people who are of a different sexuality to me. I hope that you don't use this advice to do that, but there'd be worldviews. You know, it might be like me that you believe that the marriage ceremony isn't a place for custom and tradition to rule and reign, but you might believe that the marriage ceremony should be this fresh, meaningful moment that goes for as long as it needs to go and no longer. And it should be as short as it needs to be a no shorter, but it would be this powerful moment where two people exchange personalized vows, see me just doing a little pitch right then and there is, is me it filtering people out and that's okay. Hopefully it's not filtering you out of this talk. But the, as people want to engage with a marriage celebrant, they would know that they need a celebration like me and as they take these steps up, they might not be able to afford me and might watch the video and say, Oh, actually I don't like his personality, but each one of those steps as them filtering themselves out to powerful moment, because then they get to the very top of the slide. Maybe we've had a zoom call. Maybe we've had a FaceTime, or maybe we've met in person. Maybe we've just emailed back and forth. I've actually had a lot of people book me just off the back of the video, email from Bonjoro. But the top of the slide is where they make the decision. You see it. A lot of the journey up until now has been about me creating friction. And I know the title of the talk is there's a fraction too much friction, and which I strongly believe, but as much as I've been creating friction on this journey, I've been heavily reducing it as well.
Like I'm not creating a custom quote for each person. I've put it all on our information pack page. JoshuaWithers.com.au/information it's just there. I don't have to do that every time so friction reduced, I've made an inquiry form on my website. And so that I get the right information. I need to get no more, no less, rather than just an email box. That says message. And I have to try and ask questions in there. So I'm reducing friction at every point of the way, but then I'm increasing friction to demonstrate or deliver value.See, at our core as wedding creatives, we're delivering value. And sometimes we have to demonstrate that, which is why I create friction, slow the journey down. And I send them a video to send that video, but that doesn't always happen straight away. I've got to find a quiet place to work or something like that.
So I create friction to deliver value, to demonstrate value and reduce friction, to create whimsy that people could get my price without having to wait days for a quote or anything like that. Or they had received the price and it would be accurately and beautifully displayed, not just on the phone, "yeah it's 300 mate" You wouldn't communicate like that. That's actually not as helpful as you think, reducing friction, increasing friction. So we've done the dance up the stairs. They've made the inquiry. I've replied the saying that I'm available. Here's a video, here's my information pack. Another thing I've done to reduce friction as with that information pack, with that link, you can book me then and there, if you would consider yourself safe then you could just do that. Then you can do that. But we've had a meeting once again I've reduced friction to book a meeting of use the app Fantastical to choose a few times from my calendar that work and send them to the clients.
Now you might live a life where Calendly, or I know you use Dubsado for my CRM, and that has a schedule and appointment scheduling software built in. But my life doesn't really work like them. So I choose time from Fantastical and I send it to them and I can choose which time suits them best one thing and another opportunity to show that whimsical, beautiful nature of not having the back and forth of meeting times that we can just choose them. And we've got to the top of that slide and they're moments away from running the running down the slide. I like the slide analogy because everyone loves going down the slide. Like it's literally the international symbol of joy that you go down a slide. I want people to experience that in my business, that that would experience that weeee moment and how I make sure that happens. That the whole process is lubricated. It's this beautiful whimsical slide. The top of the slide is that, yes, no moment will they book me? Won't they book me. This is so important. I've heard so many stories of so many people that would have booked someone and they haven't because of this moment and equally have had so many bookings from people that have booked me because this moment was easy. This is the decision. Like go make this as whimsical and as simple and as beautiful as you can. Now, how I reconcile them is I make sure payment processing is just easy. If you can use Apple pay, Google pay, Samsung pay Square, Paper, whatever Shopify, whatever system you can, it just makes the money process so easy. Please do that. I know some people freak out about credit cards and whatnot, but it's just so easy.
At least in Australia, I can talk that if I see Apple panel website, I am in! I'll probably just buy it even if I don't want it. So figure out how you can get maybe not Apple pay, but maybe make sure that your payment form, ah, does the auto complete from say 1Password or from the web browser auto fill with a credit card, just all these little elements just to make it so easy. See, in Australia, if you want to send money to a bank account, people use BSB and account numbers. BSB is the bank branch number. And they can numbers, obviously the account number. And obviously people put it in an email with dashes in between, but when you copy that, the dashes come over and they put an error in the internet banking software. Don't put dashes. People are just going to copy it.
So all these little things that just cause little hiccups can be really painful. It's even on the booking form or the contract, as people are signing up, get as much information as you need no more, no less. They'd be asking for the grandfather's second brother's last name. Just ask for as much information as you need. No more at this stage, you might not even need their address. I don't know your processes are yours, but if you don't need their address, don't ask for their address. Ask for as much as you need to and no more, make sure there's a clean journey so people know that they are booking you, make sure if there's a contractual part that they're signing a contract and as they make a deposit or a booking fee, whatever you call it, that those points would be really clear so that people would just have a beautiful, beautiful experience, booking you to be their wedding creative, which leads us to the final part of the process.
That's you delivering the service, automate the parts that are necessary but don't demonstrate value, automate the parts that can create whimsy and joy and increase friction to demonstrate the value that you provide, whether that's making time to, for a sit down meeting and in a meeting, you sit down and do all the hard work, how you deliver your product, what you deliver, that's completely up to you. But my only encouragement would be to identify the things that are necessary, but don't provide value to you or your clients and automate that as much as you can. I'm talking about invoices and invoice reminders, that kind of thing. In fact, I'm going to talk about these in a second, but just make sure the journey is whimsical because anyone, anyone can photograph a wedding. I don't want to take that away from the wedding photographers watching, but if you've, if someone's got an iPhone and they make a photo at a wedding, no, they're not a wedding photographer, but they just made a photo at our wedding.
And they're just a few whimsical, beautiful professional, talented, skilled steps away from taking your job, but they are not about providing whimsey and joy as part of the experience of booking you as a wedding photographer. That's your value, not the JPEGs, not the, if you're a celebrant, not the moments that you're speaking at the ceremony, that's just the byproduct of this beautiful experience. That is you. The last thing on that product story that weee down the slide was I went to a restaurant recently where the meal was far too expensive, but it was beautiful. And I thought it was such a different meal compared to the normal pub or tavern meal that you might get in Australia, which you know, for 10, $15, you had a steak slapped on the plate, more vegetables and fries and chips and gravy than you could ever imagine. 10, $15.
That's a bargain. Whereas at this really nice restaurant where the experience was lovely, where the waiter just took details and didn't write them down, but she just remembered them. And when I wanted another drink, she just brought me the same drink and you know, those little special elements that really aren't that hard, but they're kind of beautiful that at that restaurant, the steak came out as just a simple steak on a plate. There was a little bit of a smear of some kind of sauce, but it was simple and beautiful. And yeah, the steak was great. I think that's simple artisinal crafted steak can be something we can all look to and what we provide as a wedding industry, that we would choose that singular journey going down the slide, you know, this is not multiple slides in this, in this metaphor, in this analogy.
There's, there's not a hundred different slides. It's just one slide really well, but your service that your business could simplify. So the people who would talk accurately about you and live in the public marketplace and say, Oh, that slide is great. It did this, I did this. And it made me feel like this. I like to call that a remarkable slide, not a remarkable slide, because it was great, but because people are able to remark on it, that your slide, that your customer journey, that your business would be remarkable. And it is that way because you've automated the things that matter, but not enough to take up your time, whether it's the sending a text message through Zapier, when someone books you to say thank you, or whether it's automated invoicing or making sure payment can happen instantly see hooking up Stripe to your booking form and taking it a deposit at time of booking that is whimsey.
That's beautiful. That is automation, automation isn't booking a robot to come and claim a house. Although, you know what, that's not a bad idea either, but it's you finding new ways to delight people. And hopefully it ends up a little bit more like the single steak on a plate. This artisanally beautifully crafted piece of steak that people could easily remark on. I recently got a phone call from a real estate, not from the agent, which is why the story's important. It was from, it was from someone that they had outsourced their Merry Christmas wishes to. And they rang me on behalf of the real estate agent to say, Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great new year. And I really felt like that person had outsourced that person had automated the wrong parts of their business, that a phone call from them.
They don't know that we're looking at selling our house in the near future, an actual phone call where they sat down and did the hard, deep work of calling me probably would have actually netted them a sale. But instead they automated the wrong things. You can't be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to someone. And my philosophy of all of this is about being unpopular. I firmly and beautifully believe that if you pursue an unpopular life, a life and a business and a lifestyle in that business where you're not everything to everyone, but you're something beautiful to someone that that is a far easier and more joyful place for you to exist as a business person. And we do that through automating the work that is important to us. I want to wrap up with two demonstrations of things that I've automated, one that failed, and one that succeeded just to kind of help you start making those decisions in your world.
I might mention different tools, but you'll find new and beautiful different tools to use in this journey. The important part is to be looking for the opportunities and the software and the apps and the technologies and the gadgets you have so that you can automate the work that isn't important and really apply yourself to the work that is important. The first one is in Australia to get legally married you need to complete a form called the notice of intended marriage. We'll call it a NOIM. And that NOIM has to be with your celebrant before one month before. So if you get it to me on the 1st of January, that on the 1st of February, I can marry you. Now preparing those forms is an arduous process has to be correct. There's lots of names, details, dates of birth, parents, details, house divorced, occupations addresses, all that kind of thing.
ID, passport numbers, driver's license numbers, all these things. For a long time, I tried to automate that. I really tried hard cause I just don't like doing NOIMs. It's important. Like it's required by law. So there's an element of me that shouldn't find it too boring, but it's just required of me. And I've tried time after time to automate that. What I've found over the past 10 years of being a marriage celebrant. I can't automate that yet. It requires a human to be involved. So did I let NOIMs distract me from the important work of creating epic marriageceremonies? No, I hired a personal assistant, trained her how to do it. I still have to overlook them, but she creates the paperwork. She emails it to the couple, checks for spelling, and that puts it in the system. And it's ready for me to do.
That's an important, but not important for me to apply myself to job that I've automated. The failure in that was me trying to over the many, many years before then trying to make a web
forms and computer programs and trying to fit other programs inside the system. It just doesn't. But where I did succeed is an invoicing. I hate invoicing. You might be a really great person who doesn't mind talking about numbers and finances in front of people. I don't like it. I don't, I don't like saying that you owe me money. This is part of my personality. It's not my favorite thing in the world to do so. How do I get around that in my wedding business? Well, the good place to start is in automating the parts of your accounting and bookkeeping that you hate, which is pretty much all of it for me.
So I use an app called Xero. X-E-R-O. That's how my accounting software of choice and I've automated so many parts that I love it. When someone books for an elopement or a wedding in the booking forms, I've made that imports into Xero and creates a customer with email address, phone number, address. It creates an invoice. I still have to check it because sometimes invoices are just a little bit different to what they might think they are. But the invoice credit of the user's credit, it's got a due date automatically, and it's all created through Zapier. And that's not everything. Once I've processed the invoice and have approved it and sent it, Xero sends out reminders at intervals that I've planned. Plus I've built in the Stripe credit card feature so that when people get the invoice, they can click pay now in their phone, it's got Apple pay built in and boom I'm paid.
This has lubricated getting money from people more than you could ever imagine. Xero is even got a feature I can charge them a credit card fee. And I love that. And I kind of like, I don't like that. I like to take the credit card fee as part of the cost of doing business and just increase the fee by the credit card fee once again, and a whimsical moment where I'm not charging a credit card fee, I'm still making the money though. It's just happening a different way. If you look through this whole presentation, you might find that a lot of this is me imagining that I am my own customer, which honestly is not the place to start. It also helps to envisage other people being your customer, but hopefully nothing in your business annoys you, which is how I've crafted my business.
I love using Apple pay. I love using credit cards to pay for things. I get the frequent flyer points. The whole deal is great. I make sure that I would like to use my business. That whether it's importing photos to iCloud photo library, using credit cards, to do things or using regular standard apps, like email or text that my clients don't have to install weird apps to interact with me, but it's all very native and very nice. I'll leave you with this closing thought that underlines pretty much all every decision I make in business. I imagine that I'm a sports person, gladiator, whoever you want people that go into stadiums. I imagine that I'm that person. And I only walk in the stadium is where I believe I can win. Like if I was a footballer, I would only go to matches I think I could win.
And maybe that's a little bit arrogant, but luckily I'm not a professional footballer. I'm just Josh Withers. And I get to choose which arenas I walk into. I only walk into arenas where I believe that I can win. And when I do that, I'm normally when I feel confident walking into so many of those arenas now, because the automations and the customer journey, that deliberate customer journey that I've laid out, that when I walk into a stadium normally do win. And of course the stadium is a metaphor. I only walk into weddings that I believe I can be great at. I only book clients thatI believe I can please and impress and bring whimsy to. I only do business with the people who have the same world views as me, so that I know that we can work together to make great things. And that's my encouragement to you that you would really think about creating a crafted artismal product that you deliver on epic an customer journey that you would do it using as much automation as possible and no more, no less. And because of all that, you could go and win that you could go and walk onto any stage and be successful because he did all the hard work before then you reduce the friction when you need to and no longer would you say that there was a fraction too much friction.
### Acknowledgement of Country in our weddings
First Australians have been marrying for thousands of years on the land we now call Australia. Terra Australis, the southern land, was home to people well before the Dutch or the British "discovered" it, so as much as Australian law requires us to identify that we the celebrants are authorised to marry people according to Australian law, common decency would see us acknowledge the truth of the land we stand on to create ceremony.
Australia may call itself a sovereign state, but the Australia's first people never ceded sovereignty. Those same First Nations people also acknowledge the power and the value of marriage. Celebrants, as the custodians of more than 80% of Australia's marriage ceremonies each year, have a role to play in respecting the First Nations people's place in our society, and acknowledging the country our ceremonies take place on.
Within different Aboriginal nations there were four generally accepted key elements of marriage:
The couple should be eligible to marry according to local rules defining ‘ideal preferences and accepted authorities’.
Appropriate betrothal arrangements should have been made between the two kin groups concerned. An exchange of gifts ratifies the contract.
Actual marriage may be distinguished from the betrothal when the parties cohabit publicly and take on ‘marital responsibilities including sexual relations’.
The union is considered to be strengthened by the birth of the first child.
Today, marriage in Australia is a little simpler, especially considering the First Nations people need not seek special permission from the State to marry.
Despite marriage being simpler, and not requiring strengthening with a child (though I highly recommend it), I would encourage my fellow celebrants to pay respect and honour to Australia's First Nations people by acknowledging them in our marriage ceremonies.
Aboriginal ceremony is filled with song and dance, which is beautiful, but I would protest against any forced cultural appropriation. There need not be any disingenuous, or forced, cultural gestures or facsimiles of First Nations culture displayed in our weddings when it's just not appropriate. There's nothing more awkward or weird than seeing that kind of thing end up on the news.
What can we do though? A good start would be to learn more, ask questions, about Australia's history, particularly how the idea of Australia being one big country of First Nations people for thousands of years isn't the case. Australia is historically hundreds of nations. My encouragement would be for you to bring an Acknowledgement of Country into your wedding ceremonies.
What to say in an Acknowledgement of Country
Jens Korff of Creative Spirits gives the following advice on what words to use in an Acknowledgement of Country:
'Custodians' or 'owners'? Both terms are in use. 'Custodians' reminds of the ongoing obligation to look after country, and that Aboriginal people don't own the land, but it owns them. 'Owner' reminds that their land was never formally ceded to anyone and of Australia's history of denying ownership and Aboriginal people's sovereignty over their lands. Some Aboriginal organisations refer to 'traditional owners' (TOs) themselves while others dislike the term. A descendant of the Aboriginal people of the Mackay Region told me that he "prefer[s] to be identified as a Traditional Custodian and not a Traditional Owner as I do not own the land but I care for the land." [6]
Include both groups. Always use "Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders" to include both distinct First Nations groups.
Respect Elders. I've capitalised "Elders" as a sign of respect.
Include land. Always include a reference to Aboriginal land.
Be personal. I've used “I” rather than the organisation’s name, or "we", to make the acknowledgement more personal. (It's a single person speaking, after all.)
I would add: be genuine.
Copy and pasting an Acknowledgement of Country from a website, even if you copied and pasted one I'm about to do below, can often seem bogus even though it comes with good intentions.
The welcome and acknowledgement is by nature something that would happen early in the ceremony, but it does not have to be the opening line. It would be more genuine if it was part of a general welcoming and introduction ceremony.
The best Acknowledgement of Country I've heard was spoken by Daniel Browning at a podcasting conference I attended in Sydney in 2017. You can listen here, it's really well done. My Acknowledgement of Country is heavily inspired by Daniel's.
The Play School Acknowledgement of Country is powerful and beautiful as well. If you've seen an Acknowledgement of Country I'd love for you to share it with me and I'll add it to this article.
An example Acknowledgement of Country from one of my ceremonies
To acknowledge something is to admit that you know, that you accept the truth of something. When you say sorry you acknowledge your mistake, and with that language you atone. When you acknowledge someone else's country, you accept that you are a visitor. Today, in Person A and Person B's wedding ceremony I acknowledge the traditional custodians of this land, that we are visitors in their country, [if I know the name of the country and its people I will acknowledge them here], I acknowledge their Elders past and present.
Acknowledging is literally the purpose of ceremony, it's why we gather. A marriage ceremony is a moment we set aside to acknowledge that something important, something valuable, and something beautiful is happening in our midst, that Person A and Person B are becoming a married couple. It's with our language today we create their marriage, and with yours that we accept and celebrate it.
Why is this important?
Our words matter. What we say, the words we breathe and release into our space, matters. That is our job as celebrants, to speak, and what we say matters. Taking that into account along with our actual literal given name - celebrant - I would argue that it is our profession to celebrate - to acknowledge the good around us, and to celebrate it.
Acknowledging Country is important for Australians, for our First Nations people, and for those of us that create ceremony.
My personal pledge moving forward is to bring an Acknowledgement of Country into all of my speaking engagements and ceremonies.
The feature art for this blog post is by Matt Chun from @un_monumental on Instagram, this post in particular is worth viewing on Instagram along with the multiple slides which tell a powerful story of Australia's First People.
### How to get couples to book you as their celebrant
A Celebrant Institute member asks:
Hi Josh and Sarah, I’ve a question about that first meeting - I’ve met a few couples, tried coming from different angles ie. Asking what they have in mind for their ceremony, how they met, build rapport, let them talk or I do most of the talking - introducing myself and how I help them with my process and system. Have not sealed the deal. What do you recommend as discussion points for the first meeting, for high chances of booking soon after? Thank you!
Sarah replied directly offering this advice:
I can tell you that I take the "I do all the talking, explain my process" approach, because that's what works for me (most of the time). I've tried asking them what they want etc and haven't found much joy; most of the couples I've worked with have no idea what they want until I explain to them what the possibilities are.
And I would 100% echo Sarah's sentiments. People getting married don't know what they want - it's more than likely this is the first time they've ever planned a wedding. So I thought I could offer a more general response, along with strategy on how I book couples, that meeting being just a part of it.
Customer journey
I view the entire process as a journey - I'm actually talking about this at the Wedding Business CEO Summit this week - a customer journey, and that journey in my mind is one where my business is a slippery dip, a playground slide that exists in a playground.
The sales process starts with our potential clients finding the playground (the wedding industry) and they see all the different pieces of play equipment in the playground. They see other people playing (our social media and blogs) and they start to identify what kind of play equipment people like them play on.
Finding my slide
My marketing efforts are all about making sure the right people find my slide, and people who would not enjoy riding my slippery dip, would either never find out that it exists, or if they did find out, they would easily identify that I'm not the right slide for them.
This comes from avidly sharing on social media what I believe and what I do. I advertise or market in places where I believe that strategy can be outworked.
This is the first step in making sure people who are likely to book me, would even get in touch.
Putting a step on the slide's ladder
As they approach my slide (view the website and social media), hopefully they'll put that first foot on the ladder. That's getting in touch. Each of us will manage this differently. My strategy is to offer an information pack via a secret link on my website. I do this instead of a PDF because PDF's don't read well on mobile and my secret page is easily updated and changed.
So they go to my contact page and request an information pack.
I reply to that contact form email with a Bonjoro video email. I've written an entire article about this.
That Bonjoro video email links to my information pack, which if you're smart enough to figure out, is my domain name /information - I don't want to link it because I don't want Google to find it.
Taking the steps up the slide's ladder
That information pack is actually also my booking form, and some couples actually go ahead and book me right there after being convinced that I'm the right slide/celebrant for them.
But many want to meet, and I like this as well.
I describe this part of the customer journey as climbing the ladder up to the top of the slide. When they sit on the slide ready to go down, that's when they make the booking, sign the contract, pay the deposit.
So the next step after they've viewed the information pack - which goes to great lengths to communicate how I work, what that costs, and what I require from them - is to meet.
If they are willing to, and if restrictions allow, we meet at the cafe next door to my home. If that doesn't work for them, we meet over Zoom/Facetime. People without children and an office space might use a tool like Calendly to schedule meetings. Me? I'm wrestling for spare time at any given minute, so we manually make a time - which starts with me offering two times that work for me.
The actual meeting
This is the most awkward part of being a celebrant.
It's possibly a tense moment, people are weird and awkward, including us! So my secret sauce is to actually be what we are: a celebrant! Someone who can hold people's attention and communicate effectively.
Before the meeting I read back over our emails so I am fresh on the who/what/when/where/why of the whole event.
Secondly, I've always got a weird conversation piece prepared in the vein of a first world problem - I love this part - for when they ask how I am.
Normally conversations start with "Hi! Hi! How are you? Good! How are you? Good!" So boring.
So when they ask how I am, I'll say something along the lines of "I'm a bit rough this morning. I work up early to my toddler's cries for mummy and daddy, got her out of bed, and went to make a coffee. I ground the beans, brewed the coffee, pulled out two cups, and bam - I'm out of milk. Day ruined!" and I'm sitting there grinning obviously joking that my day hasn't been ruined but it breaks the ice and gets the conversation flowing.
See I firmly believe that every single marriage celebrant in Australia is duly authorised to marry people according to the law. It's not a point of difference. And I hope that all of us help with Notice of Intended Marriage forms, and we have meetings, and we're there to help, etc etc. Hopefully everyone has a good PA system, they answer emails, and run a good business. All the boring stuff that everyone does.
But a point of difference is how we make people feel.
How do they feel when they interact with us? When they hear us talk? When they are in our ceremony? How do we leave people feeling?
So the whole point of my meetings is to leave them feeling good.
I lead the entire meeting, it's my job, and I'm most likely going to be much better at it than them, but the entire meeting is me asking them questions about their wedding and what they're planning and why. Who have they booked for photography? Why did they choose such and such venue?
I demonstrate how they might feel in and after their ceremony, by making them feel heard, seen, loved, and appreciated in that first meeting.
The secret for me is to communicate all the boring technical stuff in the information pack, so I don't have to do that in the meeting. And then the post-meeting boring stuff like a booking form, has already been given to them, and it's in their inbox.
What if the meeting is online
I've offered tips on leading an online meeting before so please read that, but in particular if this is a sales meeting, a please-book-me meeting, take the lead on the conversation. Make sure your video feed is from a laptop or a a phone/camera on a tripod so it doesn't look like you're riding a rollercoaster. Talk slowly and clearly, and lead the conversation. Leading video meetings is a real art worth practicing. You need to account for the internet dropping out, delays, and not looking stupid. Practice with friends :)
Choosing to slide down the slide
Everything ahead of this moment on the customer journey is in service to this inflection point.
Am I their celebrant or not?
And here's where I differ from many celebrants (from what I hear).
I will only follow up once - directly after that meeting.
At the end of the meeting I'll refer them back to the information pack reminding them that if they'd like to lock me in as their celebrant they need to revisit the information pack, fill out the booking form, sign the contract online, and make their deposit.
I'll follow up in the next 24 hours saying the same, and I leave it there. If they require multiple follow ups , I don't want them as a client. If they think my time is so invaluable as to waste it with multiple meetings and follow ups and emails before booking, then they're not the kind of people I want to create ceremony for.
Set boundaries in your life and your business. They lead to joy and happiness.
What about the actual slide?
Sliding down the slide while screaming "weeeeee" is the part where we create and deliver your marriage ceremony - it's that good!
Photo by Wilbur Wong on Unsplash
### What if Google didn't exist?
Google, in light of legislation being introduced in Australia, has threatened to pull out of the Australian market. I'm sure they won't, if only because they won't walk away and leave $59 billion of income on the table and destroy the trust in their brand over a couple of dollars being paid to news organisations.
But it's an interesting thought process I'd put to you.
How would your business survive if there was no Google? Would your clients use Bing? Or DuckDuckGo? Or would they ask Siri? Or would they ask Alexa?
What if Facebook also went away tomorrow? Would your leads dry up?
If Instagram stopped being Instagram tomorrow, would your business go bankrupt like many influencers' would?
Setup a moat between all of these large tech companies and your business. It's ok to do business with them, and have a Google listing, or a Facebook page, but make sure you're not leaning too heavily on any one business. Be independent, strong, and wise.
Don't be the business that was all in on Google, and when Google has a hissy-fit, you go down with the ship.
Choose to put your eggs in different baskets.
### Be the CEO your wedding celebrant business needs you to be
It's time to life up our heads from managing, or surviving, in our wedding celebrancy business, and to actually lead our businesses to a place where they bring us joy and happiness again.
This episode of the podcast is with someone who helps people like us do things like that, Heidi Thompson from Evolve Your Wedding Business. Heidi is hosting the Wedding Business CEO Summit later this month and Josh is speaking at the summit on automating your customer journey.
Celebrant Institute members and Celebrant Talk Show listeners get a free ticket to the summit by clicking here!
This event is specifically crafted for the wedding industry because we have different needs than other industries. Our goal isn't to throw a pile of new strategies and tasks at you, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and like there's no way you can do enough. Instead, we're here to show you how to go from overwhelmed and overworked (like most wedding professionals) to how to make your wedding business more simple, efficient, profitable, and stress-free.
For 5 days, January 25th-29th, Heidi is bringing you presentations from 25 industry experts who have found ways to ditch the overwhelm & stop overworking all while streamlining things and becoming more profitable than ever. You’ll learn about everything from the steps to create new and passive revenue streams, how to create a profit-focused schedule, creating boundaries that will give you your time back, and so much more.
Register for your free ticket to the summit! And there is also an All Access Pass available which gives you access to the summit forever and comes with thousands of dollars of value plus free access to the Celebrant Institute.
### 026 Social Media Challenge: It's not about you today
Social media, and humanity in general, can become a little bit self-indulgent at times. It's our tribal, animalistic nature, to look after one's self first. But something beautiful happens when you turn the camera away from yourself, when you shift the spotlight onto someone else.
Today's challenge is to do just that, to make a post not at all about you, but about someone you think your audience would be blessed to know about. We're not talking about a simple shout out, or a "hey go follow this person" but produce a piece of content that would inspire people, in a relevant manner to your brand and the other person's brand, to become a fan of them and their work.
Today you're simply being a cheerleader, an encourager, a celebrating-type person ... what might they call someone who celebrates people? I guess we'll never know.
Create a post, a piece of content, a video, a story, a podcast, a photo, that celebrates someone else.
Bonus challenge: jump into this person's Facebook and Google reviews and leave a great review. Jump onto their posts and leave some comments. Give their photos some likes and their videos on Youtube a thumbs up. algorithmically celebrate them as well..
### 025 Social Media Challenge: Meme me baby
Your challenge today is to create an entertaining meme. Not an educational meme, or an instructional meme, or a demonstratable meme.
Today we meme for fun.
The best person to make fun of is yourself, because it’s rare that will land you in court - the legal kind or the kind of public opinion.
Richard Dawkins defined a meme as “an idea, behaviour or style that spreads from person to person within a culture”. Emphasis on the idea, behaviour, and style - with room for your creativity in your own culture.
Today your challenge is to spread an idea within a culture using the modern day meme format. I'm going with this Uno Draw 25 meme.
Luckily I found the blank original template for it, Google for meme templates for a start.
The culture that all of us are in right now, is one where I am emailing you ever day with a challenge of content creation.
So let me transfix that idea onto this style or behaviour.
It’s ok to Google a meme to find out what the joke is. The Uno joke is that you can choose to pick up 25 or do an action, and the second slide shows that the person chose to pick up 25.
It’s funny because the action is something you don’t want to do.
So here’s my contribution. Go and make yours.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CImjFjyD1ab/?igshid=1ktxvoh1rd36s
### 024 Social Media Challenge: Can I answer you a question?
Today’s challenge is a little more casual after some intense training days.
Quora is a social network built on the simple premise of asking questions and answering them.
Your challenge today is to dive as deep as your schedule and want allows into Quora and answer some questions that you're more than qualified to answer.
Because answering a question, being helpful, educational, and informative, is the best kind of content getting around.
Content is the new product, and Quora is a free marketplace.
### 023 Social Media Challenge: The writing game
Today your challenge is to write non-stop for five minutes.
Using themostdangerouswritingapp.com.
If you stop typing for more than a moment, it erases everything and you have two start again. The only way to preserve what you have written is to write non stop for five minutes. After five minutes everything is preserved, and you can go back and edit and correct typing. But for five minutes you just need to write. If you stop, the timer starts again.
This is a powerful exercise in the act of writing without judging yourself, without editing yourself, or trying to be perfect.
It's about cranking over the engine in your mind and just getting it running.
And if you like what you wrote, you know where to put it: online. I'm talking about your blog, your social medias, everywhere.
### 022 Social Media Challenge: You can ASCII me anything
In the beginning there was the text, and the text was good. It was all we knew. We called it ASCII, ASCII codes represent text in computers. When I first used a personal computer in 1991 "computer graphics" were mostly just text in the shape of graphics, like this was a shrug:
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And despite us inventing all of the great technologies that allow us to view videos, blogs, photos, and the rest online, in today's challenge, we’re sticking with the original: text.
Today’s challenge is a short and sweet text post on at least Facebook, and hopefully Twitter and LinkedIn as well.
The parameters for today’s challenge is for the post to be a minimum of 30 characters, a maximum of 80.
Say something relevant, educational, entertaining, informative, in 80 characters. Make a statement inside the confines of it being more than 29 letters and spaces, and less than 81.
To help you count, type it into wordcounter.net then copy and paste into the social networks.
Bonus challenge: Make it a question. It can be any question that's relevant to your brand, but the only thing it can't be is "Ask me anything" ... or the fantastic pun from the headline of this article, "ASCII Me Anything".
Here's what I did:
https://www.facebook.com/hellojoshwithers/posts/3589101787838471
### The best tablet computer for celebrants, is it the reMarkable?
For almost the past three years an iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil has been my computer that left the home. I'd always loved a Mac but I predominantly left that at my desk and if I left the office for a marriage ceremony, a meeting, a photoshoot or for travel, I would take my iPad Pro.
I've written the story of how that's no longer the case on my personal blog. It's a two parter, the first part is introducing a new Apple Silicon Macbook Air which replaces my previous MacBook in speed and power, along with replacing my iPad Pro's portability, responsiveness, and ability to run iOS apps.
The second part is about replacing the Apple Pencil's sketching/annotating PDFs responsibilities I use for signing marriage paperwork, the iPad's place in my life for reading materials, and for sketching out ideas.
The sort answer is yes, the reMarkable 2 tablet can - and has - replaced my iPad Pro.
The reviews tell most of the story, but I wanted to share it directly with Celebrant Institute readers and members, along with some photos of the device and some quick thoughts on how it can fit into a celebrant's workflow.
I love how the reMarkable isn't backlit. In a ceremony being photographed it doesn't emit light onto faces, it's an e-ink tablet so it looks and feels natural and lovely in the hand.
The stylus feels really nice in hand and it is a joy to sign paperwork with. When my couple's sign NOIMs and marriage certificates on the tablet it's a whimsical experience for them. It feels like paper but it is digital.
Whether you are writing complete forms on it, or importing the forms created by your marriage forms software or online BDM, it's a dream to write on.
Aside from signing marriage paperwork on it, which was the main use-case I was looking for, it's a dream to use for the other two purposes I wanted: sketching/writing/mapping out ideas and thoughts, and reading.
The reMarkable 2 is $399 USD, the marker is $49 or $99 for the better stylus, and the cases range from $69 USD to $149 USD, you can order one online at remarkable.com, and they promise a free return within 30 days after delivery for a full refund.
I/Josh, or the Celebrant Institute have not been paid or reimbursed for this review and apart from membership fees to this website we have not benefited from the review. Apart from the fact I really like my new tablet.
### 021 Social Media Challenge: Charting the course
Here’s a chart that tells a story about my business. Before you read on or scroll, what story do you think it’s telling?
On the first day of February there was a pretty significant change, no change for the three weeks before, or the almost two weeks after, but February 1 was a massive day for me, this chart shows.
For three weeks there was zero, who can’t relate to that, then on one single calendar day everything changed for me. How much? It looks like it’s a 100% change. Amazing growth.
Here’s the wider screenshot of that graph from my accounting software.
It’s a savings account I’m not currently using, but on February the 1st, NZ sent me 1c of interest earned.
People can find themselves in your data, and by golly, you have a lot of data.
From your enquiries to your emails, bookings, and payments, there’s a story in your data.
I know there’s a solid contingent of wedding suppliers in this challenge, so I wonder what story we could tell about the change in the industry, in months or days of the weeks booked. For couples who couldn’t get married a few years ago because of gender, and now they can.
What stories can you tell, and what charts can your audience find themselves in?
How I’m creating my chart
My enquiry software (Gravity Forms on Wordpress) allows me to export all of the forms I’ve been sent. So I’m exporting all contact forms and booking forms, and I just want a long list of dates.
So I export all the dates and in my spreadsheet I end up with 3916 entries of dates. There will be a few duplicates here because I imported data from enquiries and bookings, along with data from a credit card payment form I had which I bet had some data from earlier weddings which didn’t go through this booking system.
So the path I chose was a little harder than I imagined.
I had a list of dates, which I then copied into two other columns, where I changed the data type from the dd/mm/yyyy type of date to the day, day number of month, yearformat, and then enabled the categories feature of my spreadsheet software so I had data like this:
From that data I did a little copy and paste into a new spreadsheet and calculated what percentages of the people each day got, so I had a table like this:
And then in Numbers, my spreadsheet app of choice, I made this chart. The creation was instant but I diddled around with some formatting and colours.
And thus my data is visualised and my audience will have an opportunity to find themselves in the data.
If you’re choosing a Saturday wedding you’ll know you’re making a choice that’s on the decline, but if you’re deciding to get married on a Friday then you’ll feel more validated in your choice.
Find some data in your systems, and extrapolate it out to a chart, and post that baby on social media today.
And if you need some inspiration, this post inspired me to write this challenge.
Finally, here’s what I did with that chart on Facebook:
### 020 Social Media Challenge: Josh's Wheeeeeelllll of Content
Today you get a rare and direct peek into my brain. This next diagram explains how I think about content.
It’s never about Facebook or Instagram, never has been, never will be. This is about something far more important for the human race, for your life, happiness, and your business - and its sustainability.
This is about the story, the relevant, informative, entertaining, helpful, educational, demonstratable, personal, important, meaningful, life changing story.
I develop a story, it's already pre-existing, I just need to wring it out of my mind and my life and put it down in front of me.
Then I think about which medium or mediums suits that story the best. Is it a good podcast, or a blog post, or both?
Then I think about where to post it. Who is on each platform and will they care?
Today's challenge is to follow this process, wring a story from your mind and put it through the wheel of content.
### How to name your celebrant business
David Placek is the branding genius behind some of the biggest names in the technology world. The words Sonos, Intel Pentium, Apple PowerBook, Blackberry, Gimlet podcasts (home of Reply All), and the Impossible burger, all came from David's branding company, Lexicon Branding. In 2014 Placek released a book which I'd love to read - but can't find for purchase. Luckily for me, and for you, Om Malik recapped the book in his blog recently.
I'll let you click through to Om's fantastic post, but the points Om and David bring for naming a startup today are equally translatable to celebrants.
If you've ever talked to me about celebrant branding you know I've got strong thoughts on the matter.
If you're thinking about re-branding - or simple branding - yourself, these are some important thoughts on your brand name.
Names are tools for moving your message forward. Never forget that your name is the one thing other celebrants cannot take away from you.
Don’t be boring or weird. One of Albert Einstein’s most popular quotes applies to brand names: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
Keep it simple: Who it’s for, what it does, and why people should buy it. < strong >Clarity is the language of leadership.
Make every letter count. Don’t spend all of your energies on meaning. Sound and letter structure is equally important. JB HiFi, for example, it feels nice in the mouth and the ears.
Use short words. “Sonos was selected for its seamless nature and its ability, in just five letters, to support the idea of an operating system for sound,” Placek writes.
Never make a statement when you can tell a story. The name tells a story.
Don’t use superlatives. They only lead your customers to discount your story. The last thing they want is another overpromise. #greatestcelebrantkalgoorlie
Make a promise and deliver on it. Apple’s Powerbook, which fundamentally changed expectations for computers, was a good example.
Start with what you want people to call you. My name is Joshua, for example, but I like Josh, so I wouldn't call myself Joshua's Celebrancy World.
You can have levels of branding. For my brand I simply like "Josh Withers" but in a formal capacity I call myself "Josh Withers Wedding Celebrant" after realising that normal people didn't call marriage celebrants, marriage celebrants, they called them wedding celebrants. On top of that, if it's required or if there's space, I'll call myself "Josh Withers Wedding Celebrant, the official celebrant of fun" because I like that trope of "official brand of x".
Find a short name you can use everywhere online. In an ideal world, you'll get Facebook.com/brandname, @brandname on Instagram, @brandname on Twitter, @brandname on Snapchat, and brandname.com alongside brandname.com.au for your domain name, which will give you somethingcute@brandname.com for an email address. That brand reinforcement across all of your online assets will serve you so well into the future. I forever regret not snapping up @joshwithers on everything.
Be you, not someone else. On the chance that you are a person who's brand name is "Married By Name" I want you to know that I love you and hold no negative thoughts toward you. When I thought of "Married By Josh" in 2009 I thought it was cool and original, but a quick search for "married by" on Instagram will quickly reveal it's not that original anymore. I'm not your mum, you can name yourself anything you please, but I left the "Married By Josh" branding about a year ago and have never felt more empowered. Own the fact that you were born you, and you're 100% valid as a you, because you're the only you worth knowing.
### 019 Social Media Challenge: Combine the five
We’re on the home stretch in this social media challenge, and you guys are absolutely nailing the challenge to the wall, good work!
Today is the last in the simple foundational steps we’ve been covering over the last five challenges. Today you’re combining as many types of content at once. We're going to put them all in the same mixing bowl and see what we can bake.
Can you do something inspiring, relevant, demonstratable, entertaining, and educational at once?
Maybe it’ll be a demonstration that’s entertaining and inspiring?
Combine as many as you can and post that content in a medium appropriate for the message, and on a network where it fits.
Share your work in the comments!
### How to collect wedding guest information for your own COVIDSafe requirements
Many governments are requiring people running events to collect data about who attends the event. Your legal responsibilities regarding COVID and COVIDSafe plans are your responsibility and this article in no way communicates what you must do regarding COVID and any safety plans. But if you need to collect data about people attending a wedding or funeral you are attending, this is a quick and easy way of doing it safely and responsibly.
I'm not a fan of the data collection companies that have popped up offering to help with this responsibility this year. Data about who is at an event, when and where, and what their phone number, email address, name, and home address is - is powerful data.
So my advice to you is that you keep this data for the smallest amount of time possible, delete it as soon as you legally can, and in no way should you use it for your own marketing or data warehousing purposes.
One way to minimise the data you collect is to not actually collect it, so consider having a Contact Tracing Warranty and Release Form like the one Event Law can provide you. Or you can collect the data, and this article is on how to do that.
So let's make an online form and then create a QR code wedding guests can scan to open that form.
1. Make an online form
Before you create a QR code to link to a form, you need to have a form to link to. You're welcome to use any forms package you like, if it was me I would use my own Wordpress website with a Gravity Forms form on a private page. But if you have a Google account, you can create a free form in Google Docs and that will save all of the responses in a Google Sheet.
I would create a new form for each wedding or event, so the data is 1) easily accessed, and then 2) in 28 days time, easily destroyed.
Before you create a form, you need to know what the form needs to collect. The Queensland government asks that I collect:
Full name
Phone number
Email address (residential address if unavailable)
Date and time period of patronage
So I go to docs.google.com, choose Forms from the sidebar and create a new blank form. There's a "Contact Information" template you might want to edit as well, but I like starting fresh.
I'm giving the form the name of the event so I can sort the forms easily, and then delete easily. This also means the guest does not have to record their date, time, and location of event, because it's in the title.
I make all fields "Short answer" fields and I make the name and phone number required, with email and address not required, but both available for filling out.
Under settings (via the gear icon) I want to select "Show link to submit another response" under Presentation and also add a confirmation message of "Your attendance at the wedding has been recorded" so the guest knows the form worked.
Once you're happy with the form's design and look, click Send to get a link to share. The link to my form is https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeX5soDTlVuyFDnj8mpB1L8u_7mbFyFXPwZN-6zBiSpORTY_Q/viewform?usp=sf_link.
If I was cruel I could print that link on a poster and ask everyone to type it into their phone's web browser. Or I could create a hyperlink/weblink with a QR code and let everyone scan it with their phones.
2. Make a QR Code
There are a large number of QR code generating apps and websites, all with varying levels of intensity, cost, and features.
We simply want a QR code without tracking, or sales data, or anything extra. You're welcome to use any site or service you find that fits your needs, but I liked goqr.me because it wasn't collecting extra data on me or my wedding guests.
Step one is to choose a type of QR code, choose the globe icon for a worldwide web link.
Step two is to copy and paste your Google Forms public link from the send page to the website address field on GoQR.
Step three is to download your QR code. To get the best print quality QR code choose the largest size, 1000, and download a PNG file because it's the highest quality.
Here's the QR code I downloaded.
And here's what happens when you scan it.
Feel free to scan the QR code and fill out the form yourself to see how it works.
### 018 Social Media Challenge: Create demonstrating content
I started this little streak of content prompts highlighting the fact that there five different kinds of good content. This is the fifth: demonstrating content.
Content that is demonstrating the practical, simple, elements of what you do and how you do it.
It’s like a Tupperware party, you're the Tupperware, your audience is, well they're still an audience.
At the end of your demonstration, your people have hopefully:
a) stuck around to the end, and
b) understood what it actually is that you claim to do.
It can be a video, a photo, a story, but the idea is that once someone has consumed this post, they have a good idea of what you do.
There are so many ways to eat this piece of cake, here's an example from my Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFjKVxDAjA7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
### 017 Social Media Challenge: Let me, entertain you!
Today’s challenge, once more without stipulation of network or medium, is to entertain us.
Get on whatever social network you feel comfortable with and put a smile on our face. Create a post that will help your audience feel joy and cheer.
Be a comedian, or just an observant humorist. Crack that joke you've always wanted to crack.
Here's one of my recent ones.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGpboF8guWB/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
### 016 Social Media Challenge: Inspire us
Today’s challenge is to mentally stimulate us, to make us feel something, something creative, beautiful, and hearty.
Today’s challenge, as is the theme in this current swing of content, can go on any network/s of your choosing, in any medium/s.
Just inspire us.
Here's a recent inspirational post of mine.
https://www.instagram.com/tv/CGuPVLgANIc/
### 015 Social Media Challenge: Be educational
Good morning students!
Today you’re all teachers and we’re taking your audience back to school.
Much like the last challenge, your medium/s and network/s you use today is your choice, the content simply needs to be educational.
After we’ve consumed this content we should be smarter.
Go, and teach, and the rest of us are looking forward to attending class later today as you share your posts in the comments or on social media with the hashtag #celebrantinstitute
Not all educational posts have to boring though, they can look like this:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CF1AyvRgb-Q/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
### 014 Social Media Challenge: Be relevant
There are five different kinds of good content. Before you click post on anything, ever, forever, it should be at least one. If it’s two, you might get a like, three and you’re having a party, four and you just put a hashtag in front of the word winning.
Relevant
Today your challenge is to post something relevant to your audience. The audience you want to attract, the people you hope would engage with you.
What issues and problems are they facing today, and how can you join that existing conversation.
Imagine all of us, your target demographic, are at the bar having a big deep conversation over a current pressing issue in our lives, and you saunter on up with a beer in your hand like you’ve been there all along - what do you say?
That’s today’s challenge, on the medium and the network of your choosing, post a relevant piece of content.
Here's a recent post from me that I think was really relevant, about live streaming weddings.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGvgUheAqqZ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
### 013 Social Media Challenge: Who do you love?
Today’s challenge is 98% in your hands, 1% in the calendar’s hands, and 1% from me.
Do something, anything, with your content, anywhere, about: love.
Be original. Be you. Be real. Don’t do the kind of thing you’re supposed to do on Valentine’s Day. Stand out and be remarkable.
Be so remarkable with your content about love, that people could be able to remark on it today.
Open up a social network and create a piece of content about someone you love.
My demo is about my wife and child, I love them so much!
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGgNducgJzT/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
### 012 Social Media Challenge: Something beautiful
Ansel Adams said that we don’t take a photograph, we make it.
Your challenge today is to make a photo, a beautiful photo, a photo you’re proud of, that you’d be happy to see hanging in my lounge room.
It can’t be just any photo though, we want it to be made of something in your work, something relevant to who you are, what you do, and how you do it differently.
Here’s the specifications for today’s challenge:
It has to be a photo that you made.
You’re welcome to make it on a professional camera if you have one, or on your phone.
It can be colour or black and white.
Please edit and colour grade the photo so it looks beautiful to you.
It must be a tall (portrait orientation) photo, not a wide/landscape photo.
The caption has to be just over 125 characters, copy and paste the caption to https://charactercounttool.com to see how many characters are in the caption.
No hashtags in the caption. Just the photo and the caption accompanying the photo.
You’ve just constructed the most viral image Instagram could receive. A tall photo with a caption that requires tapping the “See more” link halfway through the caption. Hashtags have a place but not using them drives you up algorithmically.
Instagram is supposed to be a social network full of beautiful photos, so join the crowd and post today!
Here's some photos I've made recently, and shared on social media.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CHACqsIguA0/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGw2-tkgeQU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFJ6aDQgHdw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/CG4PhmqJY4c/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
### 011 Social Media Challenge: A day in the life of ...
One of my favourite uses of Instagram’s Story feature is to document the behind the scenes of what I’m doing. I see a number of benefits to the occasional behind the scenes personal documentary:
A curated view into the behind the scenes adds to your general brand value, as people find out more about what you do and how you do it and how maybe there is more involved than they imagine
The stories format disappears in 24 hours, so if it’s not that well edited or created then it lasts for a day
You get to do spontaneous and subtle shoutouts to other people you’re working with
You have an opportunity to show some personality and spirit
But I’ve got a couple of rules:
Keep it short and sweet. Don’t spend 10 stories, 150 seconds, describing how you’re driving to a job. It might even be that 1-3 seconds can tell the whole chapter’s story.
Don’t spend the entire day talking to the camera, some of it can be a little more observational or documentary style.
When you do talk to the camera, cut the small talk, the long introductions, or the “hey guysssss, welcome back to my channel”
Basically, avoid tropes or cliches.
But always remember this: imagine your audience are the stupidest people alive but treat them with the upmost respect.
I see a lot of social media content that assumes that everyone has always followed you and will always follow you, and that even if they did already follow you, that they remember all the things you talk about. It’s best to assume that most people don’t care about you. This is a slightly-healthy posture because it deflates your ego and keeps you humble, but also reminds you to reintroduce people and concepts.
An example:
”I’m back working with Jack today” assumes that people know who Jack is, what brand he works for, and what he does.
Instead “I’m back making craft smashed avocado with Jack from the Avo & Smash Co today!”
So the challenge today is to document your day from start to finish, from right now, until you lay down tonight. Find that sweet spot between over-sharing and not-actually-sharing.
Bonus challenge: Share these stories to your Facebook stories as well, and then if you’re feeling even more extra, download them from Instagram and upload to Byte and Snapchat stories as well.
### Was the tinsel an acknowlegement?
After meeting with the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Attorney-General's Department, Josh and Sarah bring you all the updates to marriage forms, OPD in the years ahead, signing NOIMs online, plus we've got some helpful tips on social media content and live streaming wedding ceremonies.
### 010 Social Media Challenge: Let’s take the conversation to 11
Today we’re taking that controversial thought in your mind, and we’re turning it all the way up to eleven, Spinal Tap style.
That’s one louder than ten! Which is probably where your most recent posts have been at.
We don’t go all the way to eleven on every post or story, so today, the challenge is for you to search your mind, body, and soul, for a controversial, conversational, really interesting and possibly divisive opinion of your own about the work you do, and we’re going to post it.
Being simply controversial isn’t enough. For example, your thoughts on Australian immigration policy might not be that helpful for whatever your goals are on social media. But your opinion about how weddings work and how you believe that a subset of the population would appreciate a better way, that’s the kind of story that’s going get the “all the way to eleven” treatment.
You’ll know it’s a good thought or opinion when
it makes people feel something, it makes them happy, angry, excited, sad, richer, poorer, sick, or alive;
when they are able to easily remark on it - because it’s remark-able;
when a comment or share is not hard to elicit because the opinion elicits a response from most humans pretty easily.
You’re also hoping that for the 1% of the population who you might categorise “your kind of people” that when they see it their whole body just screams “yes!”
For the people that are your people, they’re going to read this and know that you are the person they need to follow and do business with.
For the others, they’ll be challenged on their own thoughts and opinions, and be intrigued enough to follow you more.
And for some they’ll hate you. Which is great! Most of the planet don’t even know you exist, so for someone to conjure up negative thoughts about you just because you posted on social media, then that’s the kind of thing you’ll learn to put behind you.
I’d like to see you roll this opinion out like a press release, like you’ve just released a new product and you’re doing all the radio shows and TV channels.
Draft up your core idea as a text note, maybe prepare an image if you have one, or if you don’t have one look on unsplash.com for something suitable.
Then push that thought out on every channel you have. The more the better, all at the same time. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, share that Instagram post into your Story, share your Instagram Story to your Facebook Story, record a Byte about it, record a podcast, write it out long form as a blog post.
Join the conversation
You’ll spend the rest of the day in your comments section defending your great idea. Don’t back down, don’t retreat, just smile and acknowledge the haters, and appreciate the lovers. Listen, acknowledge, be kind, be loving. This is how you make fans, by sorting the sheep and the goats, by finding out who are your people and who aren’t.
Stuck?
If you’re stuck for an idea, think about how you do something different to the rest of your industry because you just think it’s better your way. That’s possibly controversial. You having your own thoughts is quite the controversial thing these days. Here’s an example of one of mine recently.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B64oHXygGOn/
Post
Post away, use the hashtag #celebrantinstitute so we can see it and share it, and and share it in the comments here!
### 009 Social Media Challenge: Your genesis story
Today’s challenge is an easy one, you already know everything about it, the key to the challenge though is
Articulating it,
Telling it, and
Sharing it to as many mediums as possible
Today we’re telling your genesis story, the story of how you started, why you started, and how you felt you could do something important and different.
Articulating your story
I find telling stories easiest when I actually tell someone. So whether it’s to a real person, or to a camera, or call a friend and ask them if you can tell the story about how and why you became a celebrant to them on the phone so that you can try and articulate it on the phone to them.
You want to be able to articulate the moment you decided your become a celebrant, and hopefully that moment is still relevant today in regards to encouraging people to book you as their celebrant today.
Maybe jot the story down into 3-5 bullet points, so you have a framework written down, and in your head.
You need to be able to explain how there was a before time, and you weren’t a celebrant, but there was a moment where everything changed for you, and then you did a thing and some more things, and now you’re a celebrant, and now it’s 2020. Basically wrapping up your life’s work into a 2-3 minute chat.
Telling it
I would start by recording it as a video, it’s a great story to tell over video, but if you’re not comfortable with it as a video, at least record the audio, and release it as a podcast on Anchor.
Once you have a video or audio recording of the story, transcribe (write) that down into a blog post style bunch of text. Post that on your own blog or Medium.
Then edit it down so it fits the text format of each social network, Twitter will need it to be 280 characters whilst Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, will give you more time.
Post the story everywhere, at the same time, just drop it onto every social network and broadcast network you can access. Tell the world your “In the beginning story”, your genesis story.
As always we want to see your posts, so tag them with the hashtag #celebrantinstitute so we can see and share them, and also comment below with some links!
### Are you a workaholic?
It's a weird world in 2020, one where our workload has significantly decreased, yet in other less familiar ways, our workload has increased dramatically with postponements, court dates, cancellations, emails, sending many of us into a spiral of lots more work that isn't really earning us any more money or love. I've seen a few of my colleagues fall pray to this, and even I am finding myself identify as the "W word", that word that some hold as a proud title, and some fear becoming.
Workaholic. Are you on?
No wedding or funeral is worth the long-term effects and consequences of de-prioritising your own health before others, and there's an ever-increasing amount of research and evidence that tells us that prioritising work over health and family is a terrible idea.
Jon Saddington, at Yen.fm, who writes about online community building and management, wrote about this topic this week which prompted me to bring it to you. In his email he shared an "Are you a workaholic" activity, and I think it's be value activity for you to complete as well.
If you checked five or more, maybe take a moment to reflect on how your longterm health will be more valuable to you, your family and friends, and your clients - far more than working too hard today.
### 008 Social Media Challenge: Beat your own drum and testify
If someone speaks well of you, you've got to remember that, embed it deep into your soul, and know that you're good at this.
And once you’ve done that you need to share that testimony
There’s a whole philosophy behind referrals and testimonies, but I’m not sharing them today, because I’m not a psychologist; I’m just a boy, standing in front a celebrant, asking them to testify! Testimonies about how you are good at what you do, and you do it in a certain way that makes a certain kind of person happy.
So there’s two steps here.
Step one, get a testimony
Hopefully somewhere on your computer is a testimony about you being you and that whole circumstance being a positive experience. Look through your Facebook reviews and Google reviews, and if nothing is there, go back through your emails to find one that has a positive word about you. What we’re looking for is a testimony sandwich with some meat in it. A bunch of words that go further than the common “A+ effort, would hire again”.
I’m looking for something like this:
Josh was one of the best wedding decisions that we made. The marriage process can often feel quite overwhelming and complicated, but having Josh on our team made everything work. He was calming and fun, and allowed our wedding to be perfectly tailored to us. His professionalism and expertise also helped things run perfectly to plan. Plus, he always had a pen when I needed one! If you are planning on getting married, make sure Josh is a part of it!
Words that explain how you, being 100% you, was a positive.
Now, if you don’t have those words, my best advice today would be to get a phone and call a recent client to ask a few pointed questions like “How did I as a celebrant, positively impact or change your wedding?” and “How did me doing my thing differ from other people you have seen do my thing?” Let the person know you are looking for a testimony for your social media and with their blessing you’ll use some of those words they just told you. Try to put them on speakerphone and maybe record the conversation on a voice memo on a separate phone or computer. Transcribe those words back, and you’ve got a testimony.
Step two, post
I see a lot of testimonies shared with gushing and honestly, falsely humble, introductions like “I can’t believe that Jack and Jill were so happy with my little ol service” and other wastes of text. Just introduce the testimony and accept the compliment.
I’ll post mine with a photo by my friend Todd, because the testimony is about me being a wedding celebrant, and the photo works because it’s a photo of my being a wedding celebrant for the couple who are testifying!
“Josh was one of the best wedding decisions that we made. The marriage process can often feel quite overwhelming and complicated, but having Josh on our team made everything work. He was calming and fun, and allowed our wedding to be perfectly tailored to us. His professionalism and expertise also helped things run perfectly to plan. Plus, he always had a pen when I needed one! If you are planning on getting married, make sure Josh is a part of it!” - the pen-less but overtly lovely Jayden and Jane #marriedbyjosh at Midginbil Hill with the arty Todd and Alyda at Todd Hunter McGaw Photography who coincidentally made this photo.
Double points if you get the testimony recorded as a video so you can post it as one!
Post
Find a testimony, and share it with your followers on any and all social networks you feel like posting it today. This challenge is all about simply allowing other people to praise you, let it happen! Use the hashtag #celebrantinstitute so we can find your posts, like, comment, and share!
This content would work well as a blog post as well as a social network post. Post it everywhere, and also share a link to it here in the comments!
### 007 Social Media Challenge: Blog a common reply
In computer programming there's a method of program called Object Oriented Programming, which recognises that some parts of the program are reused a lot. The programmers write the code once, then reuse it every time they need it.
Today we’re going to find that common reply you type into your email client. That question you always get asked, then we’ll ask it once and for all, in a blog post.
There’s a few reasons for doing this:
It’s obviously a hot topic, so getting that information out of your head and into a blog post will bring all the Google and SEO blessings.
It saves you having to retype it again the next time someone asks.
It’s obviously good content, so let’s blog it then share it on the other platforms.
My example
A common question I’m asked is about how to be a good wedding MC, for example:
James isn’t the first person to ask this question, so I put all of my thoughts on the topic into a blog post here: https://marriedbyjosh.com/how-to-be-a-rockin-wedding-mc/
As a wise guy once said, go and do likewise.
Find that commonly asked question, and write a “reply” in the form of a helpful blog post either on your own blog, or if you don’t have one, write it on Medium.
Then share it around on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook, and maybe even grab a pull quote or an appropriate image to share on Instagram and in the caption give a little tease then say to check out the blog post now. We’d love to see your posts in the comments of this post too!
Bonus points
If you’re feeling a little bit adventurous, repurpose this content as a LinkedIn Article, and either a Facebook Instant Article if you have access, or if not, simply as a Facebook Post.
### 006 Social Media Challenge: Nutella Day
Who would ever think that there would be a need for an International Day for Nutella to raise awareness of the delicious nutty goodness?
Sara Rosso did.
After enjoying the spread in Italy, she would take jars home to her American friends and family, where she found that most people didn’t know it existed.
So she started Nutella Day, almost got shut down, and then Nutella creator, Ferrero, got on boar (crazy that it took them that long).
We all experience good things in our lives every day, and most of the other people on the planet do not know about them.
So it’s pretty much our God-given mission to spread the good word - of other awesome people (or nutty spreads).
Today’s challenge is to think of someone, a person or business, relevant to your target demographic, and to find as many ways as you can to tell the world about them. Today’s content challenge is to write and speak about someone who isn’t you.
There’s a number of benefits to doing this:
It’s the wind underneath your wings - being generous is the only thing keeping the earth spinning (that and gravity).
It’s a modern day form of networking.
It's shows your relevance to your target market, by referring other people it is an indicator of community and caring.
Guess what, if you say nice things about people … it’s highly likely they’ll say nice things about you.
It’s just plain old good to do.
Your to-do list:
Write a post for at least one social network, if not all of them, about how this other person or business is relevant.
Find them on Facebook, Google, Yelp, etc, and find the official rating and reviewing function of that network and leave them a positive review.
Find a few relevant posts of theirs and leave a comment on that post. Not just any comment. A two-line comment at the bare minimum.
Post with the hashtag #celebrantinstitute and comment with your successes!
### 005 Social Media Challenge: Let’s get podcasting
Podcasts are so much more powerful than most people imagine. My little podcast, The Rebel’s Guide to Getting Married, has maybe 100-300 listeners depending on how passionately I share it, but the simple act of recording helpful podcast episodes has booked me weddings in Europe, the USA, around Australia, and last week a couple booked me for their wedding in Orlando. I am travelling to Florida because someone heard me on a podcast.
If you want that kind of influence, let’s dive into today’s challenge.
We’re going to re-purpose yesterday’s re-purposed trash today as a podcast, how easy is this!
Go back over yesterday’s post that you found in your emails or social media where you replied to someone’s question with a really helpful reply.
You replied as an expert, because you are an expert!
So let’s put on our expert pants and our expert hat, and pretend we really are the expert we are , by recording a podcast episode. You might not be the radio host you think you need to be to record a podcast, but you’re an expert, and that’s all we need right now.
Open up your Anchor app, and tap that + button and get ready to record.
The episode is going to look like this:
Introduce yourself like you did a few days ago
Then make the bold and beautiful claim: and welcome to MY podcast!
Slip straight into the question: “Taylor asked …” and then read out what Taylor asked.
Give your answer, in verbatim. So pretend Taylor is having a coffee with you and you’re replying to Taylor like both of you have nowhere to be.
Thank everyone for listening and wrap up with maybe a website URL and email if listeners have questions.
And look at that, you’re a podcaster. Get that share link and share it on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn!
Bonus points if you’ve setup your Anchor to share your podcast on all of the other podcast networks like Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
If you’ve set it up to share to Spotify, then do a search for your name in Spotify, open your podcast and share it from Spotify to your Instagram stories!
Share it on your social networks with the hashtag #celebrantinstitute and also link it up in the comments so we can all listen and rate it!
### 004 Social Media Challenge: Reuse and recycle
I’m willing to bet that you have received a question about what you do before today, and you’ve hit reply with a really good answer.
Let’s find that email, or that instant message, or that reply to a post.
Screenshot it, share it around.
Here’s my example:
This is a question asked in a Facebook group I’m in. It’s a super relevant question to most of the people that would interact with my business, and I think my answer was pretty good too.
I started “drawing in white” aka erasing, the profile photo and name away but then realised I could just crop it out in Preview on my Mac. So I’ve now anonymised the post, it’s not incriminating or identifiable as the original poster (OP) and my comment is also easily understood in context to the original post.
Here it lives on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/JoshuaWithers/status/1306087364482211840
So go and dive into the dumpster that is your inbox, and social media accounts, find that golden nugget from a recent conversation, and let’s repurpose that as a really quick and easy post, whilst still being helpful as ever.
Post
Share the content wherever, and everywhere, you feel comfortable sharing it, with the hashtag #celebrantinstitute and then also share a link in the comments so we can engage with it!
### OPD in 2021 is changing
For the most up to date information on Ongoing Professional Development/OPD for Australian Marriage Celebrants, please view celebrant.institute/opd
For your ongoing professional development as a Commonwealth authorised marriage celebrant in 2021, only four hours will be provided by your OPD trainer. One hour of your five hour commitment will be delivered by the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Australian Government Attorney-General’s Department.
In simple terms this means that a one hour compulsory topic will be provided at no extra cost by the AGD online, and the remaining four hours of your commitment will be fulfilled by either:
attending OPD face to face if it is safe and allowable
attending OPD in a live webinar online
attending an approved conference
completing the distance education units and submitting them to the OPD provider
The department says of the one hour topic being provided by the AGD:
Every celebrant will need to complete the activity as part of their five hour OPD obligation.
So keep an eye on your inboxes in early 2021 for information on how to do that.
The news is fresh but our early prediction is that OPD is changing for the better. Even though it's only one hour difference, a four session is a remarkably different event to a five hour session, online or in person. This will reduce hours needed for renting rooms, trainers, and even catering. A four session can be done after lunch with a coffee break in the middle, whereas a five hour session with lunch needs a break in the middle. Freeing up the schedule and the financial resources allows you to choose better OPD subjects and actually professionally develop yourself.
This is a win for celebrants and RTOs.
And in case you were wondering, or for many of you, as you might expect, we highly recommend completing OPD with us!
### Tasmania (BDM) gets the internet
Sarah chats to Tasmanian celebrant Kathleen Pavlic-Ryan about the brand new online registration system available through Births, Deaths, and Marriages Tasmania!
### Moving a wedding from Queensland to New South Wales
Luke asks:
One of my couples that had a Qld wedding booked, now want to change the ceremony location to NSW since the new border easing. What do I need to know and how do I go about doing a wedding in NSW? Is there a set criteria that determines the couples eligibility for getting married over the border into NSW?
A nicley packed question with five things to address Luke, so I’ll break them out here.
Notice of intended marriage form, the NOIM
I’m guessing that you may have already completed a notice of intended marriage form with the couple and you’re wondering if that form can be transferred.
This is especially interesting in Queensland because if you are registered for the Queensland Births, Deaths, Marriages Service provider portal the form that it spits out for you looks slightly different to NOIMs prepared in other parts of the country.
If you have prepared and signed a NOIM with the couple in Queensland using either the traditional NOIM form method, or the new online system method, that NOIM is able to be used in any state, including New South Wales. The form is required as part of the Commonwealth marriage legislation, and as such, is valid anywhere in the Commonwealth.
Side note though: there’s the possibility you’ve done what many celebrants do and entered the date of marriage and place of marriage on the NOIM ahead of the actual marriage taking place. If so, make sure the updated place and date is on the NOIM, and incorrect information there is crossed out with an initialed signature.
Registration on the Qld BDM Service Portal
If you had prepared the couple’s NOIM on the Qld BDM Service provider portal then you’ll need to make sure you cancel the marriage registration from the website.
Your authority to perform a marriage ceremony in NSW
You are a Commonwealth authorised marriage celebrant, and to slip into the Guidelines:
A Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrant may solemnise marriages anywhere in Australia, including outside the state or territory in which they reside.
Luckily for you, that includes New South Wales, so you’re allowed to marry people in NSW.
Registration with the New South Wales Births Deaths and Marriages
As noted in the Guidelines:
The celebrant must forward the official certificate to the BDM in the state or territory where the marriage was solemnised within 14 days of the ceremony.
So if the marriage ceremony is moved to New South Wales the marriage paperwork must represent that location, and be submitted to the NSW BDM.
You’re welcome to prepare and submit the paperwork the traditional way, by mailing the paperwork in, but the best practice today in NSW is to register using eRegistry. You can register with the NSW BDM online and submit it all electronically.
Eligibility to be in New South Wales
There’s a lot of confusion about borders and whether you can be in certain places, and that information is changing through 2020 fairly regularly.
New South Wales has only had border control with Victoria, so if anyone has been in Victoria they could not travel to New South Wales. So everyone in Queensland can go to New South Wales.
The greater issue has been coming home to Queensland. Today on September 29 if a person who lives in Brisbane goes to New South Wales, they can’t come back across the border. They would need to fly into Queensland from Sydney, then quarantine for two weeks. From October 1 that changes slightly with all Queensland residents allowed to travel into a handful of Northern NSW locations.
The truth is, once I click publish this information will start dating quickly, so your best advice is to read the state government websites for accurate information on where you can and can’t go to be allowed back into Queensland, and whether you’ll need a permit printed.
### 003 Social Media Challenge: Carrot Cake
Today’s challenge is to find something boring (like a carrot) yet necessary (like vegetables are for your diet) in your business that people really ought to know about, and to serve it up as informative, relevant, educational, possibly demonstrable, and maybe even entertaining content to your social media channels, like carrot cake.
Find the carrot, and then make a carrot cake out of it.
For example, as a marriage celebrant, the most boring yet necessary thing to communicate to people is the legal stuff. I could choose from any of these possible topics from the thousands of boring things inside the scope of being a celebrant:
How much time is legally needed to get married?
Who can witness the signatures on that form?
Who can witness a marriage certificate?
How do you get a marriage license? (Trick question!)
What do you legally need to say in a wedding ceremony?
How to change your name after marriage?
I might choose “How do you get a marriage license?” as my carrot.
So my carrot cake might be:
We’ve seen so much American TV that so many Aussies ask me how to get their marriage license. So here’s my comprehensive guide to applying for, and getting, a marriage license in the Commonwealth of Australia.
You don’t.
You see, the concept of a marriage license is not an Australian one, and unfortunately in Australia we need to adhere to Australian law. Aussie marriage law doesn’t need you to get a license from the government to marry, instead, you simply need to find a marriage celebrant (I know a guy) and give them more than one month’s notice via a form they’ll help you fill out. Simples!
Post
So find your carrot and make a cake, then you get to choose where to post it today. Which of the social networks have you liked most? Do you want to experiment with a different format you’re not 100% familiar with? Go forth and post your carrot cake in a format of your choosing, to a network of your choosing. Then share it in the comments below.
Bonus homework
Post this content on Twitter, then share a screenshot of that tweet on the other networks like Instagram as a post or a story.
### 002 Social Media Challenge: Introduce Yourself
Every month you should re-introduce yourself to your social media audience. I think you'd be surprised how many don't really know you for the real “you”, and those that do, could probably do with a brand re-alignment.
Today’s challenge is simple: we’re travelling right across the social media spectrum, reintroducing ourselves to everyone.
Each social network has a different set of restrictions and formats as to what we can post. LinkedIn lets you type up to 1,300 characters on a post, Facebook allows you 63,000 characters, whilst Twitter allows 280. Instagram lets you post a 2,200 character caption, and Anchor allows you to record for 60 minutes at a time. Byte lets you record a 7 second video, TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram stories up to 15 seconds. If you’re not a verified YouTube user you can upload up to 15 minutes of video and from what I can see Medium doesn’t have a limit on how long an article can be.
So let’s work out your post, then apply it to each network.
Who are you?
Let’s start with your name, my name is Joshua but publicly I like Josh. Your post isn’t a legal statement so call yourself your commonly called name.
I believe that your last name is a valuable part of your brand. I’ve always loved that Annie Leibovitz calls herself Annie Leibovitz. Not Annie L, or just Annie. She’s proud of her hard to spell (if you’re an Aussie white guy) last name. So be proud of your last name, as anglo or as weird as it might be - it’s you.
I am Josh Withers
What do you do?
Narrow this down to one thing. I know that you’re a human, a friend, a lover, a parent, a pet owner, a home liver, soccer enthusiast, author and writer, who likes whisky, and won an award once. But if you had to tell me one thing, what is it? I’m a wedding celebrant. Sure, I write things like this challenge, and I like to podcast, and I have a wealth of other interests, which will all come out eventually, but the regular Joe on the street scrolling through Instagram will get lost in your grocery list of things you want to be known as.
I am Josh Withers, wedding celebrant.
Where do you do things?
Many people shy away from admitting where they live - and I don’t mean your exact street address, but your wider city/town/region. Maybe they want to travel and don’t want to limit themselves to that area, or they really want to travel, but where you are is part of your identity and people hire people from places to travel to other places every day. In fact, it’s a widely unknown fact that everyone is willing to travel. So be honest about where you’re from, be proud of it, and in other posts and maybe this one if it works, let people know that you travel - if you need to let them know that.
I am Josh Withers, wedding celebrant, from the Gold Coast.
Let’s expand on the what you do
How do you do the thing you do, differently to how other people do what you do. Hopefully someone else has given you some fuel on this topic, so you say it in such a way that matters to common people that aren’t people like you.
If you were describing a pizza restaurant, saying they did gourmet pizzas would be a differentiator. If you were describing a cafe, maybe saying they served Toby’s Estate coffee and were open all day would be a differentiator.
I am Josh Withers, wedding celebrant from the Gold Coast, and I make fun, intimate, and personal marriage ceremonies.
Non-work related thing that makes you you
Now you get to pull back your t-shirt sleeve and reveal the tiniest bit of you. Something personal and even a little weird that makes you you. Maybe it’s your family, a hobby, or a pop culture item. Have some fun with it.
I am Josh Withers, wedding celebrant from the Gold Coast, and I make fun, intimate, and personal marriage ceremonies. I’m a husband to Britt, a dad to Luna, and a gadget nerd, when I’m not stalking the Foo Fighters.
Optional added paragraph
Some social networks will have the space for you to double down on this statement, so let’s prepare a second paragraph that is pretty much a copy of the first but expands a little bit.
I am Josh Withers, wedding celebrant from the Gold Coast, and I make fun, intimate, and personal marriage ceremonies. I’m a husband to Britt, a dad to Luna, and a gadget nerd, when I’m not stalking the Foo Fighters.
Where I live is central to the internationally popular Southeast Queensland and Northern New South Wales’ wedding playground but my couples often put me on a plane to somewhere between Iceland and Queenstown most weeks to create the kind of wedding ceremony only I can make. Because weddings happen in epic places I take my drone with me and fulfil my love of landscape photography. If you ever want to make me happy, a bottle of Japanese whisky, some weird tech gadget, or a ticket to a rock concert will do the trick.
Make it sound social
Social media is after all, social, and before it was called social media it was called a social network. Networking, like at a networking event. Basically, sound human, not like a resume. I’m going to do that simply by adding the word ‘Hi’ to the front. I’m a genius right! I’m also going to abbreviate ‘I am’ to ‘I'm’ so I sound less like the I Am and more like a Josh.
Hi! I’m Josh Withers, wedding celebrant from the Gold Coast, and I make fun, intimate, and personal marriage ceremonies. I’m a husband to Britt, a dad to Luna, and a gadget nerd, when I’m not stalking the Foo Fighters.
Where I live is super central to the popular Southeast Queensland and Northern New South Wales’ wedding playground so my office isa pretty awesome, but many of my couples put me on a plane somewhere between Iceland and Queenstown most weeks to create the kind of wedding ceremony that only I can make. Because weddings happen in epic places I take my drone with me and fulfil my love of landscape photography. If you ever want to make me happy, a bottle of Japanese whisky, some weird tech gadget, or a ticket to a rock concert will do the trick.
Let’s straddle it with a photo
Search your camera roll for the hottest photo of you looking like you. Not some weird studio shot that looks like you’re a real estate agent. With any luck it’s a professionally taken and edited photo, and maybe you’re at work, but make sure it sits firmly in the category of portrait photo. That is, if the photo was on News.com.au as you were reported missing, we’d find you.
Here’s mine. My friend Morgan made it of me, so when I post it I’ll credit him with something like “Photo made by Morgan Roberts Photography” but depending on the social network, I’ll make it a link to his username, like @morganrobertsphoto on Instagram.
Get that photo and your text that you’ve typed up in a note, copy the text and post that baby everywhere.
Post the photo and the text to Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Medium (or your own blog). If the text is too long for that network, then cut off the optional paragraph.
Post it
With that text prepared in your text editor or word processor of choice, and the photo ready to upload, take to every social network you have access to, and post as much as you can. Jump in the comments on this post and link us to an example so we can like and comment on each other’s work.
Post with the hashtag #celebrantinstitute so we can find, like, comment, and share your posts.
Extra homework
If you’re feeling like going the extra mile here’s two bonus challenges:
Record the introduction with your phone’s selfie camera and upload it to everywhere else, YouTube, Instagram stories, TikTok, Snapchat, Byte, Anchor as a podcast episode.
Get creative with your words. There’s a corpulent list below.
Thanks to Daily Writing Tips for this exquisite list os adjectives you can use to buff out your description with some comely words.
Adamant: unyielding; a very hard substance
Adroit: clever, resourceful
Amatory: sexual
Animistic: quality of recurrence or reversion to earlier form
Antic: clownish, frolicsome
Arcadian: serene
Baleful: deadly, foreboding
Bellicose: quarrelsome (its synonym belligerent can also be a noun)
Bilious: unpleasant, peevish
Boorish: crude, insensitive
Calamitous: disastrous
Caustic: corrosive, sarcastic; a corrosive substance
Cerulean: sky blue
Comely: attractive
Concomitant: accompanying
Contumacious: rebellious
Corpulent: obese
Crapulous: immoderate in appetite
Defamatory: maliciously misrepresenting
Didactic: conveying information or moral instruction
Dilatory: causing delay, tardy
Dowdy: shabby, old-fashioned; an unkempt woman
Efficacious: producing a desired effect
Effulgent: brilliantly radiant
Egregious: conspicuous, flagrant
Endemic: prevalent, native, peculiar to an area
Equanimous: even, balanced
Execrable: wretched, detestable
Fastidious: meticulous, overly delicate
Feckless: weak, irresponsible
Fecund: prolific, inventive
Friable: brittle
Fulsome: abundant, overdone, effusive
Garrulous: wordy, talkative
Guileless: naive
Gustatory: having to do with taste or eating
Heuristic: learning through trial-and-error or problem solving
Histrionic: affected, theatrical
Hubristic: proud, excessively self-confident
Incendiary: inflammatory, spontaneously combustible, hot
Insidious: subtle, seductive, treacherous
Insolent: impudent, contemptuous
Intransigent: uncompromising
Inveterate: habitual, persistent
Invidious: resentful, envious, obnoxious
Irksome: annoying
Jejune: dull, puerile
Jocular: jesting, playful
Judicious: discreet
Lachrymose: tearful
Limpid: simple, transparent, serene
Loquacious: talkative
Luminous: clear, shining
Mannered: artificial, stilted
Mendacious: deceptive
Meretricious: whorish, superficially appealing, pretentious
Minatory: menacing
Mordant: biting, incisive, pungent
Munificent: lavish, generous
Nefarious: wicked
Noxious: harmful, corrupting
Obtuse: blunt, stupid
Parsimonious: frugal, restrained
Pendulous: suspended, indecisive
Pernicious: injurious, deadly
Pervasive: widespread
Petulant: rude, ill humored
Platitudinous: resembling or full of dull or banal comments
Precipitate: steep, speedy
Propitious: auspicious, advantageous, benevolent
Puckish: impish
Querulous: cranky, whining
Quiescent: inactive, untroublesome
Rebarbative: irritating, repellent
Recalcitrant: resistant, obstinate
Redolent: aromatic, evocative
Rhadamanthine: harshly strict
Risible: laughable
Ruminative: contemplative
Sagacious: wise, discerning
Salubrious: healthful
Sartorial: relating to attire, especially tailored fashions
Sclerotic: hardening
Serpentine: snake-like, winding, tempting or wily
Spasmodic: having to do with or resembling a spasm, excitable, intermittent
Strident: harsh, discordant; obtrusively loud
Taciturn: closemouthed, reticent
Tenacious: persistent, cohesive,
Tremulous: nervous, trembling, timid, sensitive
Trenchant: sharp, penetrating, distinct
Turbulent: restless, tempestuous
Turgid: swollen, pompous
Ubiquitous: pervasive, widespread
Uxorious: inordinately affectionate or compliant with a wife
Verdant: green, unripe
Voluble: glib, given to speaking
Voracious: ravenous, insatiable
Wheedling: flattering
Zealous: eager, devoted
### Creating elopement packages
A reader asks:
I have a handful of elopement related questions, and I think they will be more relevant than ever given how our world has changed in 2020 and how weddings have changed/will change in the coming year(s). Last year I started doing these helicopter elopements, they've been 1. awesome 2. a fun new way for couples to get married and 3. given me lots of credibility as a pro in my area since literally no one in the area is doing this kind of elopement but it has a big-time cool factor. Oh ya, and it makes money on days I'm typically not doing a wedding (Monday-Thursday exclusively). I'm working at packaging a few more experiences for couples but I've been thinking through the entire process and want to figure out how to make it A+. The helicopter to a private island is an easy one - we're on a helicopter, and we land on an island. That's plenty cool. But these other elopements are more like hikes to great lookout points - how do you make that, from start to finish, awesome? How long is the experience typically? Do you have any +1 type things you might recommend adding to the experience or things to avoid? For the chopper, I've been bringing some random food (like specialty donuts and a bottle of champagne) to increase the fun and photo ops. I also don't reeeally know about permits and things like that for some of these public spaces - better to just go on with it and hope for the best? Regarding back up-dates - do you normally have 1-2 other dates in the calendar for them? Lastly - pricing. The helicopter one right now is $6999, which is, I think, still a bit of a steal for couples, it includes basically 2 hours photo, a 2-3 minute video + me (and I'm worth at least $47.28). Choppers are crazy expensive. But the elopement without the chopper I just made up a price and sold it this morning - $3500, gets photos + me. Is that reasonable? I feel like I could go higher but really don't have a frame of reference for pricing since no one is really doing these around here...
Before I address your questions, I’ll tell you - and of course I’m biased - but I think that the celebrant creating and leading the elopement packaging is a really powerful position. I see a lot of celebrants being bundled up by venues, florists, planners, and photographers, and at that stage they’re just part of the furniture. But when a celebrant leads the charge, or in my case my wife leads the charge (with The Elopement Collective) and on the day I run the actual elopement, it’s being run from the right place, the right heart.
We hold the spirit of the day in our hands, and we create the atmosphere. When you see me at an elopement it’s pretty much completely different to what I do at a wedding. I’m obsessed with making sure the couple have an amazing experience, considering that they’re not surrounded by 100 friends and a doting mother. I’m there from start to finish, but often taking a visual backseat, but still holding the spirit of the day close to my heart. Reading what I’v just written doesn’t seem to convey exactly what I’m trying to say, but it’s really powerful for a celebrant to take charge of an elopement experience, from head to toe, not just for the ceremony in the middle.
Now, onto your questions:
I want to figure out how to make it A+
Merely wanting to make an experience A+ is the best place to start. I feel like a lot of celebrants don’t consider how something feels for the couple, so simply considering it is a powerful start. But here’s a few thoughts on the idea:
I feel like a lot of people approach weddings and elopements as crappy things we need to make better, like the proverbial pig and lipstick. However they’re not a pig needing lipstick, the mere fact that two people want to marry is a powerful and beautiful thing, and honestly we don’t need to dress it up, but we just need to create a space for it to happen organically.
Obviously we need to take into account personality types. I’m pretty good at reading the room so for some couples I’ll be a little bit more hand-held, and for others I know I should take a step back. Just remember that you’re not trying to replicate an experience but to create a fresh and new experience for this couple.
Know, communicate, and manage expectations. I start this with the customer journey and the product being sold, but then maintain the conversation through a FaceTime call before the elopement and on the day. I want the couple to know that “I’ve got this” and they just need to let the day happen.
Use your intuition, and allow yourself from a budgeting and pricing point of view, to be able to create special experiences. Hopefully you’ve got enough room in the budget to bring a bottle of wine for one couple, or to buy a bottle of wine for a property owner for another elopement to get access to land. Amazing experiences are expensive for that reason, because you’ve got the flexibility to shout a drink somewhere to wait for the sun to set, for example.
How do you make hikes or longer experiences, from start to finish, awesome?
Honestly, I do try to limit the longer exposures like a long hike or a long car drive. There’s been the odd couple where we’ve driven together for 2-4 hours and it’s been fine, but there’s something special about “meet two hours before sunset, and let’s elope!”
Aside from the odd wine or beer, I generally avoid food and beverage provisions, everyone has different tastes, different dietary needs, and if the timeline has been explained to them, they should know to look after their own nutrition and hydration. A spare water bottle might be nice, but for hygiene sake, make it a sealed bottle so they feel safe.
That al said, the longest hike I’ve done with a couple might be 45-60 minutes and the ten or so times that’s happened it’s always been a nice opportunity to connect with the couple. I avoid asking too many questions about their personal life ahead of the day for this reason, so we have things to talk about on the day, and I’m not apologising the whole time because I’d forgotten from when we talked.
How long is the experience typically?
We work back from sunset, or if need be, when the sun leaves the area we’re working in, so for some forests that might be sunset plus two hours.
If it’s an open area like a beach or a mountaintop, we aim to meet about 1.5 hours before sunset, I’m there with a photographer, sometimes a videographer, and a bouquet, and we walk in together for their ceremony. After the ceremony they have time for portrait photos as the sun sets. If they’ve got some family joining them, we might push it back 30 minutes so there is time for some family photos.
Do you have any +1 type things you might recommend adding to the experience or things to avoid?
We add optional guests, optional videographer, optional extra florals for the second party, optional ceremony-only video (like a live stream). Then we deliver the photos through our own gallery - not the photographer’s - and we offer prints and albums.
I also don't really know about permits and things like that for some of these public spaces - better to just go on with it and hope for the best?
An elopement is different to a wedding, in that there’s no furniture, no seats and arbour, either no guests, or maybe a handful (we try to keep things under 10, maybe under 20, over 20 you’re having a wedding). So because it’s not an event, it’s just a couple and a person having a ceremony, whilst 1-2 people stand around and photograph it, I’m of the belief that most places that don’t need permits for picnics also don’t need permits for elopements. Of course, I’m no lawyer, so do your own research.
Regarding back up-dates - do you normally have 1-2 other dates in the calendar for them?
I only ever hold one date at a time, life’s too short for any other BS. But especially through COVID we have great flexibility, and they often do too, because it’s just them.
Lastly - pricing. The helicopter one right now is $6999, which is, I think, still a bit of a steal for couples, it includes basically 2 hours photo, a 2-3 minute video + me (and I'm worth at least $47.28). Choppers are crazy expensive. But the elopement without the chopper I just made up a price and sold it this morning - $3500, gets photos + me. Is that reasonable? I feel like I could go higher but really don't have a frame of reference for pricing since no one is really doing these around here.
Pricing is an intricate marriage of:
What things cost, plus tax, etc
What your and the team’s time costs
The experience and talent you bring to the event
What people think it’s worth
What you think it’s worth
What they’ll actually pay.
Honestly, when we started doing elopements we started at $2800, realised that we were pretty much financing other people’s elopements, and worked out way up to a little higher than you are. It’s for that reason that we’ve always maintained a fluid pricing policy. Our price is today what it is, and tomorrow it might go up or down. In the end we know our base costs, and we know what we’d like to charge, and we’re often hovering a little lower than that, but we maintain the ability to turn the dial up or down depending on our life circumstances and business circumstances.
If things are crazy, we’ll often close the gate a little - raise the price - and then when things are a little quiet we’ll open the gate a bit more - lower the price.
A final thought, we own the trademark for the words Elopement Collective, so please do me a favour and save me the cease and desist letter, and call your elopement packages something else :)
### What if you're not available for re-scheduled wedding?
Michael asks:
Just listened to the podcast episode (with Kathryn Adams), absolutely loved it. I have one common question/scenario that I'm pretty sure wasn't asked/answered though. A couple postpones their wedding, but one of the suppliers isn't available on the new date that the couple chooses. Where does that supplier stand in regard to retaining the booking fee? Or anything that needs to be discussed in this situation?
Kathryn Adams from Hallet Law - and the soon the be launched "Event Law" - has a great answer and it's all about the doctrine of privity of contract.
Any more legal questions? Ask away.
Need a service contract? Check out the celebrant and other wedding supplier contract packages on her website.
Transcript
The question is, a couple postpones their wedding, but one of the suppliers isn't available on the new date that the couples choose. Where does that supplier stand in regards to retaining the booking fee, or anything that needs to be discussed in this situation? It was prefaced, or it was followed up with, "It's potentially a pretty long and tricky question, but can you do a mini follow up episode?" And the answer is, "Well, yeah. I absolutely can." It's actually not as tricky as it sounds. The law around this question is actually very simple, but I think that it is the industry itself and also what is going on at the moment that is making it probably potentially long and tricky, but I'm going to do my best to give you guys a quick snapshot at what I do know is the answer to this.
And it all comes down to what's called a doctrine of privity of contract. Okay, so when you enter into a contract, it is only the two parties to that contract that are bound to that contract, and they are the only parties to the terms that have the benefit to enforce the rights granted by that contract, but also, the rights to pursue something from that contract. So, when I'm asked anything that has ... A whole bunch of people are trying to nab this one date and the bride and groom is unhappy with one particular supplier that can't slot into that date, "Kathryn, what is the answer to that?" And I'll leave the diplomatic answer of how you guys communicate that to say, for example, the bride and groom that you can't do that date on, but in Kathryn language, "It's too bad, so sad."
So, bride and grooms enter into contracts with their suppliers individually. So, there's a contract between the bride and groom and the florist, the bride and groom and the celebrant, the bride and groom and the wedding photographer. Just some examples, the only time that that doesn't happen, is if you have appointed a particular person to coordinate. And this is for another discussion later on down the track, but we've actually seen people accidentally fall into that coordination role, by actually getting a lump sum from the bride and groom and then paying the different suppliers, okay. But in these instance, we're not talking about that. In fact, at the moment, unless you are making a super duper amount of money from a couple to do that, I would not recommend that you step into that coordination role at the moment, to be paid to coordinate what's going on.
So, let's reverse and go. Everybody at the moment in the wedding industry is individually entering into their contracts with the bride and groom. And so we've got the wedding supplier, the florist, the celebrant, all individually contracting with the bride and groom. And so when the bride and groom says to the wedding photographer, "Are you free 14th of February?" Wedding photographer says, "Yes." Says the florist, "How's 14th of February?" Well, good luck with the florist for Valentine's Day. But yeah, just for example purposes, "Florist are you free?" Right contract between bride and groom and them. Then they say, "Celebrant, how does 14th of February sound for you?" And celebrant says, "Ooh it's not looking good actually. I've, actually had somebody in that date for a very, very long time." Look, even just from a business ethical perspective, it doesn't even matter if they've been in that date for two days.
The bottom line is, we are going to have to for the majority of our work at the moment is, first in first serve, or whoever nabs the date wins. And so celebrant says, "I can't do that day. What do I do?" And the couple will turn around and say, "Well, we'll have our non-refundable booking fee back." Now reverse back into the podcast that was done in late August, 28th of August, I think it was or where I went to extensive detail about how I felt about booking fees, particularly the ones where we say are nonrefundable.
So, the bride and groom says to the celebrant, "Well, if you can't make that date." Sorry, I'm just going ... I've got a beeping going on the background, podcast fail there. So they say, "Well, we want our money back. You can't do that date." And the celebrant has every right to turn around and say, "Well, no, hang on a minute. The contract that you and I have entered into, is completely separate to any other contract that you ..." Now fair enough if you're a wedding supplier, sorry you're wedding photographer, your florist can postpone to this new date and those terms, conditions allow, or they've allowed it to happen.
"I'm not free, my contract has to stand alone and it can't be subjective to whatever is going on around the world." Because that's not how privity of contract works.
There are only two parties to a contract and there are some very, very minor exceptions, but they're certainly not the case here in this day and age with weddings at the moment, all right. It is, person seeking services, celebrant providing services, bride changing the game, celebrant not being able to play the game. Therefore, irrespective of what's going on with the parties. And if one of those suppliers is not available, the contract between that supplier, who's not available, has to stand alone. And if that contract says that a booking fee is nonrefundable, then that's the case. We have to go back right to the start and go, "It's the bride and groom changing the date."
So, it's the bride and groom changing the date that's making it impossible, not the lining up of the suppliers, making it impossible. So, let me say that again. So, the problem between the bride and groom, they're saying, "Hang on a minute, you can't fulfill the contract on the postponed date. Therefore, that's not my fault." We have to reverse it and think about the contract to go, "No, no, no. The problem didn't lie with me not fitting into your date, it lies with the change of mind initially in the contract." And I'm sorry, but let's go back to that and it says any time there's a change of mind. This is, of course, if your terms say this, I'm making a big assumption that your terms and conditions are very clearly set up to allow it to be a nonrefundable booking fee.
Now, and I'm going to just quickly throw in and say nothing I give here is specific legal advice. And if you want specific legal advice, come onto my Facebook, Instagram, or wherever, you can find me in my email address. I'll make sure that the Celebrant Institute lets you know, where I can be found. But, providing your contract allows for you to retain that booking fee, the booking fee is retained because they've changed their mind. That right to the booking fee in no way is negated because you can't slot in, in amongst 15 other suppliers for a date that's been their choosing. So, that is essentially the doctrine of privity of contract. In other words, third parties can't interfere with a contract that exists between two people. And when we're talking about the interference of those third parties, we're talking about everyone around you jostling, we always have to go back to what is exactly causing the contractual dispute.
It's not that you can't line up with the 15 other suppliers. It's the fact that the bride and groom is asking you for a date, that you are not available, and that we just have to always remain very clear that that is the dispute, not the wider stuff that's going on. So, that's the answer to that question, but I want to just say that this is going to come up and if it's not coming up now, we are going to see this particular issue, get bigger and bigger and bigger through the late 2020, absolutely 2021, probably going into 2022, depending ... And I know that sounds really grim, but what I want to do in my work in the industry going forward is to get everybody, they'll give the ability just to negotiate this kind of stuff. But, we are going to be facing an intense period of time where everybody's jostling for dates.
And we're also having to deal with the fact that a lot of the dates in 2020 are already gone as well. And the part of the wedding industry that is so very unique and even to the broader event industry. But, the thing that is so unique is that it is 15 suppliers, or five, or however large your wedding is. We are all trying to get one date. And I described it with Sarah today that it is essentially like a jigsaw puzzle, and everyone wants that piece of jigsaw. And we're all hoping that the jigsaw comes together. My advice at the moment is venues, I think you guys are going to come up as the strongest and I say that quite tongue in cheek. Because, you're the ones copping a real hammering with some of the regulations at the moment.
But, if you are a minor supplier and when I say minor, I'm usually talking either your role in the wedding or the value of your services. But, if you are not that large chunk of money that wedding couples or parties are paying, you might be collateral damage. So, if they can't get the venue and let's just say, you've been negotiating with them, or five of you have been trying to get this date going on and they can't get the venue. They'll choose the venue over five other suppliers, because it's the bigger chunk of money to lose if it all goes wrong. I hope that's being communicated right in the podcast, but they will always go for the decision that will cost them less.
So, if they change their mind on a venue, that's going to cost a lot of money. But, if they throw a wedding photographer or a sorry, wedding photographer is actually quite high amount, but a cake maker, or somebody else, they will throw the minor fee earner under the bus and demand their money back there, than go into a stoush with a larger ... So, what I'm saying to a lot of smaller or minor players in the wedding day is to say, "Do not lock in a date with these people, unless you have some solid evidence that they've got the major players lined up." Because it is, you will essentially become collateral damage. They'll cancel on you. And then you've got this issue of having a day empty or you've got yourself just a stoush because they want their money back.
So, this is why I was actually so keen to jump on this podcast and get it out quite quickly because it is something that I am just seeing so often. And it is increasing literally by the day because of the inability for suppliers to be those jigsaw puzzles for the bride and groom. And so it's really important to say to yourself when a client, or a bride and groom, or client is putting the heavies on you to push for dates. And there'd be ramifications if your original contract for that, you need to stay very, very clear in that your contract stands on its own. There are only ever two people involved in the contract, or two parties, and you have to play the game in accordance with them.
Is there a wider view that everyone should be nice to the brides and grooms and try and coordinate by all means? I think that the more open that everybody on a wedding day, or everybody that's involved in contractual relationship with the bride and groom, should they work together? Absolutely. I think that the more that you openly communicate with other service providers for that day, and it doesn't have to be in a covert way. But if you get a heads up that somebody else's being brought in, you're a florist and you know, that James Bond photography is being thought of, pick up the phone and go, "Hey, where are they at with this kind of booking? Where are they? How far progressed are they with you guys?" And just keep an open mind because I'm also finding yeah, that I'm hearing that florist, cake and wedding photographers being booked, but they're saying that their venues booked, but it's not yet.
So, I really do think there needs to be open communication, so long as your relationship with the bride and groom, there's no restrictions there of confidentiality. But that said, though, there is comradery in an industry, but there's also a certain privilege that comes with that. So, at the end of the day, you have to stick with what your terms say, it's your business, it's your brand, it's your hard work. And just because you've got five other suppliers that have handed their booking fees back, that should be no way indicative of you being forced to hand yours back.
### 001 Social Media Challenge: Lemonade
Making lemonade out of lemons is a popular story, obviously backed by Big Lemonade, but it encourages us to make our proverbial lemonade out of the lemons we’re presented with in life.
For day one of the 2020 social media challenge, your job today is to find a story in your celebrancy life where you have made lemonade from lemons, where you’ve turned something not-so-good, into something good.
Step one, find the story
Some people open a social network app and think about what to post there, we’re turning that idea on it’s head. We’re going to work on the story, then figure out where to post it.
So, open up your favourite notes or writing app, and tap out a few words about how something not-so-good happened in recent times and you turned it into something positive. Just get the guts of the story down, these words might not even be published.
Maybe you learnt a new skill from the event, or someone involved serendipitously benefited anyway.
It might have even resulted in a bad review or a complaint. The important part is that we end up at lemonade. Something sweet that everyone can enjoy, a story arc that we can all go on together.
The best stories - in a world full of fake news, hot bodies posing at just the right angle, or cool people doing cool things in cool places - are the real stories of simply existing on planet earth.
And if you can take that melancholy moment and turn it into lemonade you’ve got today’s content.
So write it out in a few words so all of your thoughts are collected, then come back to this challenge.
Step 2, tell the story
Is the story visual? Do you have photographic or graphic accompanying evidence to help tell the story?
Is it a video? If so, how long, is it a short 15-60 second video, or longer than a minute?
Do you feel confident telling the story in a video, or a podcast?
The key here is to find a medium you can excel in, and marrying that list of talents with the medium best suited for the story.
Post
Figure out which mediums you excel at: text, video, audio, and/or photo, and then think about the story and which medium would work well for that story arc, mix them together, publish it where it fits, and comment with a link so we can see your fruits!
Post with the hashtag #celebrantinstitute so we can find, like, comment, and share your posts.
### Should I use a speaker stand, and should I use a PA for 10 guests?
Tam asks:
I have my first wedding coming up next month. My question is in regards to using my PA system. I have Bose S1 with Sennheiser microphone. The wedding is only small (approximately 10 guests). Would you use a PA system? They are having a videographer so I didn't know if this would play into whether or not to use it? If you suggest not using it, at what size wedding would you? Also I have not yet brought a stand. Is this an absolute must/do you recommend any particular brand/price point to aim for to get a decent one? Complete newbie with all this stuff!
All good questions, Tamika, and I’ll address them separately.
Should I use a PA system for 10 guests?
So there are three elements to this question.
The first is should you use a microphone for 10 guests, because amplifying your voice serves only one purpose: to amplify it to people who can’t hear it. I personally feel competent speaking to a group of up to twenty without a microphone. Holding a microphone and amplifying your voice to a crowd is a very different feel and situation to not amplifying, and a group of 10 automatically feels more intimate than a group of 100.
So for 10 people I wouldn’t make it feel any more like a stage show than I have to, and I would not amplify my voice, aka I would not hold a microphone and use a PA system.
Would a videographer need me to use a PA system?
A videographer doesn’t need you to amplify your voice, but they may well want to record your voice, and the couple’s voice, so a microphone may be needed. Your Sennheiser microphone transmitter (the microphone) and receiver (the bit you plug into the speaker) can be handy for a videographer, I know they love to use mine, but it’s also possible the videographer has other plans.
The thing is, every videographer has different needs, some don’t even record the audio, so the best thing is to either chat to them today, or be there early on the day, and to humbly offer up what you have, and also be open to using what they like.
So it’s a no/yes answer, no they don’t need amplified audio, but they may want to use your microphone.
Would a PA system be good for music?
You didn’t ask this question, but it’s likely that there would be music at the ceremony, and your PA system - particularly the Bose S! - is perfect for this. They can Bluetooth into it (hold the Bluetooth button for ten seconds, then select Bose S1 in a phone’s Bluetooth settings) and the music is loud, clear, and bright.
So although you may choose to not amplify your voice, your Bose S1 is a perfect music player - even for parties or gatherings at your home or in your personal life.
Do I need a speaker stand?
100% yes.
Public amplification speakers (PA Speakers) are designed to be used on speaker stands, that’s why speaker stands exist, and there are holes for stands in the bottom of the speakers.
Audio is the transmission of sound, sound is a vibration in the air, and our ears hear that vibration in the air. If there are people in front of us, they affect that transmission of air. This is the biggest argument for having a sound operator at events, because they are at the rear or middle of the crowd and they can adjust the sound levels and EQ so it suits the whole crowd.
Alas, it’s extremely rare to have a sound operator at a wedding, so you have to do your own sound check, and part of that will speaking into your microphone and assessing how that sounds at points around the wedding ceremony.
For a simple trick today, set your PA system up today, maybe in the back yard or in your living room, and test it at various levels, and various heights. You’ll hear the difference between the speaker being on the ground and the speaker being on a bench or ideally, at head level.
On that note, the best height for a speaker is at average head level, so around that 5-6ft height.
Regarding which speaker stand to buy, they’re not overly technical things, but I wouldn’t buy the cheapest - I’ve gone through enough of them to advise that. I buy Konig & Meyer stands now because I like their build quality. In the wind K&M 21436 because it’s a little lighter. The 21435 is fine too, it’s just a heavier build.
### Correcting marriage paperwork
There's a new fact sheet on the Attorny-General's department website on correcting marriage paperwork, and it's an important read. Luckily for us, our own Sarah Aird heavily impacted the final draft. We're copying and pasting the fact sheet here, but find the original on the AGD website.
This fact sheet is designed to assist celebrants when a need arises to amend information or correct errors made on marriage certificates and other marriage documentation. The fact sheet covers scenarios both before and after the marriage is solemnised.
Correcting documentation before the marriage
Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM)
The Marriage Act 1961 (the Act) provides for celebrants to permit an error on the NOIM to be corrected in their presence by either of the parties to the marriage at any time before the marriage has been solemnised (subsection 42(9) of the Act).
An error on the NOIM includes a spelling error.
A change to the address or occupation of one of the parties to the marriage after the date that the NOIM was given to the celebrant does not constitute an error and the address and occupation should remain the same.
If a party to a marriage changes their name after the NOIM has been given to the celebrant, the NOIM can be amended after the change of name certificate is obtained, but only prior to the marriage.
The alteration should be initialled by the party correcting the change and by the celebrant.
Marriage certificates (Official Certificate of Marriage (celebrant copy) and Official Certificate of Marriage on the back of the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage to be forwarded to BDM (BDM copy) and Form 15 Certificate of Marriage given to the couple)
If the error is discovered after the certificates have been prepared and before the ceremony takes place, the NOIM must first be corrected.
Errors appearing on the Official Certificates of Marriage can be corrected prior to the marriage taking place by either completing the form again or altering the existing form. Alterations should be initialled by the party correcting the error and by the celebrant.
Alterations should not be made on the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage; a new certificate should be prepared incorporating the correct particulars.
If it is necessary for the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage to be destroyed, as a result of errors, a record must be kept of the destruction, stating the date of, and the reason for, the destruction (subparagraph 73(5)(d) of the Marriage Regulations 2017). The destruction of this certificate can only occur before the marriage is solemnised, as the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage must be handed to the couple immediately after the ceremony.
For more information on marriage celebrant record keeping obligations, see the record keeping section below.
Correcting documentation after marriage
Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM)
If an error is discovered on the NOIM after a marriage has been solemnised, the error must not be altered or corrected on the NOIM. The celebrant may wish to send a covering note explaining the error to the BDM when registering the marriage.
If a party to the marriage changes their address or occupation after the NOIM has been given to celebrant, the new address should be reflected on the Declaration of No legal impediment and Official Certificates of Marriage.
Marriage certificates
Where the error(s) is not discovered until after the ceremony, corrections may be made if the parties and witnesses are still present. The changes must be initialled by the celebrant and a covering note should be sent to the BDM. Where the marriage is to be registered online (available in some but not all States and Territories) ensure you have corrected the information in the online notification.
Mistakes on the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage and Official Certificates of Marriage cannot be corrected by the celebrant if the error is identified after the ceremony has concluded and the parties and witnesses are no longer available. Once the marriage has been registered, such corrections can only be made by the authorised officer of the relevant registry of births, deaths and marriages (subparagraph 51(1)(a) of the Act).
In accordance with section 51 of the Act, the authorised officer can make corrections to any certificate prepared and signed under section 50 of the Act, being:
the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage certificate (s51(1)(a))
the Official Certificate of Marriage (celebrant copy) (s51(1)(a)), or
the Official Certificate of Marriage (BDM copy) (s51(1)(b)).
The provisions of section 51 are narrow, and only apply to any corrections required after the marriage has been solemnised. You may need to provide additional information such as a statutory declaration to assist the authorised officer at the BDM.
There are ‘corrections’ powers in each of the relevant State/Territory Acts, which allow State/Territory registering authorities to correct entries on the Register of Births, Deaths and Marriages for that State/Territory. Contact should be made with the relevant BDM registry for an application to correct an entry. Celebrants should never make corrections to the Official Certificate of Marriage (celebrant copy).
Subsection 50(7) of the Act states the regulations may make provision for and in relation to the furnishing of a substitute certificate in the event of the loss or destruction of the official certificate of marriage. This is provided in subsection 78(2) of the Marriage Regulations, however relates to the Official Certificate of Marriage (BDM copy), not the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage.
Under no circumstances can the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage be intentionally destroyed or reissued after it has been provided to the couple.
Record keeping obligations for Form 15 Certificate of marriage
Marriage celebrants must keep a record for the Form 15 certificate – the Record of Use form. The information must be kept for a period of six years from the last entry.
The Marriage Regulations do not prescribe the record of use form that must be used, only the details that must be recorded. Celebrants must record the following details on the record-keeping form:
any serial number printed on the Form 15 document by the supplier
if used by the person—the date of, and full names of the parties to, the marriage
if transferred to another authorised celebrant—the date of the transfer and the full name and authorisation number of the other authorised celebrant
if destroyed—the date of and reason for the destruction, and
if any other event occurs in relation to the document—the date and other relevant details of the event.
A celebrant may record this information on a spreadsheet or word document. Alternatively, they can scan a completed Record of Use form to keep the records electronically.
A celebrant must also retain the Official Certificate of Marriage (celebrant copy) for a period of six years from the date the marriage is solemnised.
### Do our social media challenge
Social media is a powerful, simple, and accessible way to market your business, but so many of us don't know what to do there. Kind of like working out, many of us don't know the best exercises for us, or how to do them. So I'm writing a social media challenge for Celebrant Institute members.
Every four days from Monday a social media challenge will be posted, and of course it's all voluntary (I'm not your mum), but it's a prompt for you to create content aimed to brand you, sell you, and keep you top of mind for your community.
This challenge isn't about starting on social media, if you need that kind of help reach out and let me know, this is about developing a daily habit of sharing your celebrancy story on social media.
It wouldn't hurt if you had an active Instagram account, Facebook account, Youtube account, LinkedIn, and a blogging platform like Medium, or your own website's blog. Make sure your accounts are all branded similarly with naming, logos, profile photos, all the same.
You can follow the challenge by following new posts here on the website, or on our social media accounts, or you can get an email every time a new challenge goes live by subscribing here.
### If you have a non refundable deposit
An Australian wedding celebrant directory recently emailed it's members guilt-tripping them into keeping non-refundable deposits. What a guy.
Honestly, it made me sad to see them tell members to offer compassion and a refund.
Not because celebrants shouldn't give refunds, honestly, celebrants should be able to do whatever they hell they like, I'm not your mum. But I was sad because I know how many of us have spent the last five to six months of our lives in a very fight for survival of our businesses. Part of that fight to survive is resting in the structure provided by your service contract.
It's great when third parties to your business, for us it's been parents, friends, clients, strangers on social media, all having opinions on whether people - including us - should refund because of COVID-19. It's funny because these people are not parties to a service contract, they're third party commentators with beautiful opinions, that honestly don't mean a whole lot - the court of public opinion is a place where public relations staff work, but not us.
We form business relationships with our clients, those relationships include financial exchanges, service exchanges, possibly physical or digital product exchanges, and it's all founded on a service contract, or if you don't have one, then it sits on the basis of consumer law in your state. Opinion means nothing in that place. We have to rely on what the contract says.
We craft our service contracts, hopefully with friends like Hallet Law helping you out, to match our business plan, our revenue plan, our rest and relaxation plan. The legal underpinnings of your business actually liberate you to do all the parts of your business. That's why you see bug companies take each other to court all the time, not because they're all snowflakes with hurt feelings, but because that's what the courts are for. We build our businesses on the basis that we can and do provide what we say in this contract, and if that changes - it often does - we take it to court and figure it all out.
People are asking for refunds
If you have clients, legitimate actual clients, who are asking for refunds, my not-a-lawyer advice to you would be to respond as per your service contract. If it says the deposit is refundable, refund it, if it says it isn't, then don't. This isn't a COVID-19 issue, it's a service delivery issue. If you and the couple are still able to fulfil your service contract, that is, you can all lawfully present at the time and place of the marriage ceremony and conduct a marriage ceremony, then your service contract still stands.
If you or the couple cannot present for the date, time, and place, contracted because of government imposed restrictions, then you've likely got yourself a frustrated contract then. Frustrated contracts release all parties from their contractual obligations, and the losses for all parties, lay as they fall.
If you personally can take the hit of refunding everyone, then that's a beautiful and generous thing you are personally enabled to do, but it can't be an expectation of the industry.
Personally, for my business, my generosity extends to all my couples, that when I and they can do a marriage ceremony, I'm there for them, no extra charge unless travel expenses are required. If I'm not available, that's their cross to bear, and I'd encourage them to work with to find a date.
If the couple can be there, but their guests can't, that's not a breach of my service contract, maybe it is a breach of yours?
What if that isn't good enough?
If none of these scenarios are accepted by all parties, you and the couple, then that's why we have lawyers and courts, to figure out these issues. Being taken to court for a civil issue like this isn't scary, and it shouldn't be feared. It's a normal process where both parties present their case calmly and clearly, and firstly a mediator will try to find a middle ground, you may offer a partial refund, if it's only a deposit, maybe you offer nothing but a free re-schedule. From the mediator it goes to court, and someone smarter than us comes up with an answer.
Don't fear the process, enjoy it, we have a law system for a reason, to rest into and to find peace in.
Can we talk about deposits for a moment
Recommended listening is our podcast episode about this whole topic, where Kathryn from Hallet Law recommends dropping the wording of a "deposit" or "non-refundable deposit" and changing it to a "booking fee". Listen for the whole conversation and the justification.
### The one in a hotel room with a lawyer
After five months of fighting for wedding vendors affected by COVID-19 lockdowns, cancellations, postponements, delays, booking fees, deposits, contracts, and the wasteland that is the wedding industry in August 2020, Kathryn from Hallet Law joins the podcast to talk about it all, and about her new service contract product which you can get from hallettlaw.com.au
https://vimeo.com/452433262
### PA system and microphone questions and answers with Jackson Strafford
Question and answer session on the Secret Members Only Podcast with Jackson Strafford from Factory Sound and One Heart Studios on PA speaker systems microphones for celebrants, plus what a videographer is looking for from a celebrant at a wedding.
Gail also asked about the JBL EON ONE Compact, but neither Jackson or I have experience with the unit and JBL's Australian dealer has not replied to my emails requesting information on the unit, and for a demonstration unit.
### Approach a wedding ceremony as a work of art
Neil Gaiman made a speech on May 17, 2012, as the keynote speech for the commencement ceremony to The University of Arts. As I read it I am thinking of the wedding ceremony as a work of art, and I'm sharing it with you today so you might do the same.
When Neil's talking about art, think about ceremonies. They literally are works of art created and presented in live action for real people experiencing real and valuable life moments.
Wedding ceremonies are works of art
"Make Good Art" by Neil Gaiman
I never really expected to find myself giving advice to people graduating from an establishment of higher education. I never graduated from any such establishment. I never even started at one. I escaped from school as soon as I could, when the prospect of four more years of enforced learning before I'd become the writer I wanted to be was stifling.
I got out into the world, I wrote, and I became a better writer the more I wrote, and I wrote some more, and nobody ever seemed to mind that I was making it up as I went along, they just read what I wrote and they paid for it, or they didn't, and often they commissioned me to write something else for them.
Which has left me with a healthy respect and fondness for higher education that those of my friends and family, who attended Universities, were cured of long ago.
Looking back, I've had a remarkable ride. I'm not sure I can call it a career, because a career implies that I had some kind of career plan, and I never did. The nearest thing I had was a list I made when I was 15 of everything I wanted to do: to write an adult novel, a children's book, a comic, a movie, record an audiobook, write an episode of Doctor Who… and so on. I didn't have a career. I just did the next thing on the list.
So I thought I'd tell you everything I wish I'd known starting out, and a few things that, looking back on it, I suppose that I did know. And that I would also give you the best piece of advice I'd ever got, which I completely failed to follow.
First of all: When you start out on a career in the arts you have no idea what you are doing.
This is great. People who know what they are doing know the rules, and know what is possible and impossible. You do not. And you should not. The rules on what is possible and impossible in the arts were made by people who had not tested the bounds of the possible by going beyond them. And you can.
If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
Secondly, If you have an idea of what you want to make, what you were put here to do, then just go and do that.
And that's much harder than it sounds and, sometimes in the end, so much easier than you might imagine. Because normally, there are things you have to do before you can get to the place you want to be. I wanted to write comics and novels and stories and films, so I became a journalist, because journalists are allowed to ask questions, and to simply go and find out how the world works, and besides, to do those things I needed to write and to write well, and I was being paid to learn how to write economically, crisply, sometimes under adverse conditions, and on time.
Sometimes the way to do what you hope to do will be clear cut, and sometimes it will be almost impossible to decide whether or not you are doing the correct thing, because you'll have to balance your goals and hopes with feeding yourself, paying debts, finding work, settling for what you can get.
Something that worked for me was imagining that where I wanted to be – an author, primarily of fiction, making good books, making good comics and supporting myself through my words – was a mountain. A distant mountain. My goal.
And I knew that as long as I kept walking towards the mountain I would be all right. And when I truly was not sure what to do, I could stop, and think about whether it was taking me towards or away from the mountain. I said no to editorial jobs on magazines, proper jobs that would have paid proper money because I knew that, attractive though they were, for me they would have been walking away from the mountain. And if those job offers had come along earlier I might have taken them, because they still would have been closer to the mountain than I was at the time.
I learned to write by writing. I tended to do anything as long as it felt like an adventure, and to stop when it felt like work, which meant that life did not feel like work.
Thirdly, When you start off, you have to deal with the problems of failure. You need to be thickskinned, to learn that not every project will survive. A freelance life, a life in the arts, is sometimes like putting messages in bottles, on a desert island, and hoping that someone will find one of your bottles and open it and read it, and put something in a bottle that will wash its way back to you: appreciation, or a commission, or money, or love. And you have to accept that you may put out a hundred things for every bottle that winds up coming back.
The problems of failure are problems of discouragement, of hopelessness, of hunger. You want everything to happen and you want it now, and things go wrong. My first book – a piece of journalism I had done for the money, and which had already bought me an electric typewriter from the advance – should have been a bestseller. It should have paid me a lot of money. If the publisher hadn't gone into involuntary liquidation between the first print run selling out and the second printing, and before any royalties could be paid, it would have done.
And I shrugged, and I still had my electric typewriter and enough money to pay the rent for a couple of months, and I decided that I would do my best in future not to write books just for the money. If you didn't get the money, then you didn't have anything. If I did work I was proud of, and I didn't get the money, at least I'd have the work.
Every now and again, I forget that rule, and whenever I do, the universe kicks me hard and reminds me. I don't know that it's an issue for anybody but me, but it's true that nothing I did where the only reason for doing it was the money was ever worth it, except as bitter experience. Usually I didn't wind up getting the money, either. The things I did because I was excited, and wanted to see them exist in reality have never let me down, and I've never regretted the time I spent on any of them.
The problems of failure are hard.
The problems of success can be harder, because nobody warns you about them.
The first problem of any kind of even limited success is the unshakable conviction that you are getting away with something, and that any moment now they will discover you. It's Imposter Syndrome, something my wife Amanda christened the Fraud Police.
In my case, I was convinced that there would be a knock on the door, and a man with a clipboard (I don't know why he carried a clipboard, in my head, but he did) would be there, to tell me it was all over, and they had caught up with me, and now I would have to go and get a real job, one that didn't consist of making things up and writing them down, and reading books I wanted to read. And then I would go away quietly and get the kind of job where you don't have to make things up any more.
The problems of success. They're real, and with luck you'll experience them. The point where you stop saying yes to everything, because now the bottles you threw in the ocean are all coming back, and have to learn to say no.
I watched my peers, and my friends, and the ones who were older than me and watch how miserable some of them were: I'd listen to them telling me that they couldn't envisage a world where they did what they had always wanted to do any more, because now they had to earn a certain amount every month just to keep where they were. They couldn't go and do the things that mattered, and that they had really wanted to do; and that seemed as a big a tragedy as any problem of failure.
And after that, the biggest problem of success is that the world conspires to stop you doing the thing that you do, because you are successful. There was a day when I looked up and realised that I had become someone who professionally replied to email, and who wrote as a hobby. I started answering fewer emails, and was relieved to find I was writing much more.
Fourthly, I hope you'll make mistakes. If you're making mistakes, it means you're out there doing something. And the mistakes in themselves can be useful. I once misspelled Caroline, in a letter, transposing the A and the O, and I thought, “Coraline looks like a real name…”
And remember that whatever discipline you are in, whether you are a musician or a photographer, a fine artist or a cartoonist, a writer, a dancer, a designer, whatever you do you have one thing that's unique. You have the ability to make art.
And for me, and for so many of the people I have known, that's been a lifesaver. The ultimate lifesaver. It gets you through good times and it gets you through the other ones.
Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do.
Make good art.
I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it's all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn't matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.
Make it on the good days too.
And Fifthly, while you are at it, make your art. Do the stuff that only you can do.
The urge, starting out, is to copy. And that's not a bad thing. Most of us only find our own voices after we've sounded like a lot of other people. But the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.
The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you're walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That's the moment you may be starting to get it right.
The things I've done that worked the best were the things I was the least certain about, the stories where I was sure they would either work, or more likely be the kinds of embarrassing failures people would gather together and talk about until the end of time. They always had that in common: looking back at them, people explain why they were inevitable successes. While I was doing them, I had no idea.
I still don't. And where would be the fun in making something you knew was going to work?
And sometimes the things I did really didn't work. There are stories of mine that have never been reprinted. Some of them never even left the house. But I learned as much from them as I did from the things that worked.
Sixthly. I will pass on some secret freelancer knowledge. Secret knowledge is always good. And it is useful for anyone who ever plans to create art for other people, to enter a freelance world of any kind. I learned it in comics, but it applies to other fields too. And it's this:
People get hired because, somehow, they get hired. In my case I did something which these days would be easy to check, and would get me into trouble, and when I started out, in those pre-internet days, seemed like a sensible career strategy: when I was asked by editors who I'd worked for, I lied. I listed a handful of magazines that sounded likely, and I sounded confident, and I got jobs. I then made it a point of honour to have written something for each of the magazines I'd listed to get that first job, so that I hadn't actually lied, I'd just been chronologically challenged… You get work however you get work.
People keep working, in a freelance world, and more and more of today's world is freelance, because their work is good, and because they are easy to get along with, and because they deliver the work on time. And you don't even need all three. Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. They'll forgive the lateness of the work if it's good, and if they like you. And you don't have to be as good as the others if you're on time and it's always a pleasure to hear from you.
When I agreed to give this address, I started trying to think what the best advice I'd been given over the years was.
And it came from Stephen King twenty years ago, at the height of the success of Sandman. I was writing a comic that people loved and were taking seriously. King had liked Sandman and my novel with Terry Pratchett, Good Omens, and he saw the madness, the long signing lines, all that, and his advice was this:
“This is really great. You should enjoy it.”
And I didn't. Best advice I got that I ignored.Instead I worried about it. I worried about the next deadline, the next idea, the next story. There wasn't a moment for the next fourteen or fifteen years that I wasn't writing something in my head, or wondering about it. And I didn't stop and look around and go, this is really fun. I wish I'd enjoyed it more. It's been an amazing ride. But there were parts of the ride I missed, because I was too worried about things going wrong, about what came next, to enjoy the bit I was on.
That was the hardest lesson for me, I think: to let go and enjoy the ride, because the ride takes you to some remarkable and unexpected places.
And here, on this platform, today, is one of those places. (I am enjoying myself immensely.)
To all today's graduates: I wish you luck. Luck is useful. Often you will discover that the harder you work, and the more wisely you work, the luckier you get. But there is luck, and it helps.
We're in a transitional world right now, if you're in any kind of artistic field, because the nature of distribution is changing, the models by which creators got their work out into the world, and got to keep a roof over their heads and buy sandwiches while they did that, are all changing. I've talked to people at the top of the food chain in publishing, in bookselling, in all those areas, and nobody knows what the landscape will look like two years from now, let alone a decade away. The distribution channels that people had built over the last century or so are in flux for print, for visual artists, for musicians, for creative people of all kinds.
Which is, on the one hand, intimidating, and on the other, immensely liberating. The rules, the assumptions, the now-we're supposed to's of how you get your work seen, and what you do then, are breaking down. The gatekeepers are leaving their gates. You can be as creative as you need to be to get your work seen. YouTube and the web (and whatever comes after YouTube and the web) can give you more people watching than television ever did. The old rules are crumbling and nobody knows what the new rules are.
So make up your own rules.
Someone asked me recently how to do something she thought was going to be difficult, in this case recording an audio book, and I suggested she pretend that she was someone who could do it. Not pretend to do it, but pretend she was someone who could. She put up a notice to this effect on the studio wall, and she said it helped.
So be wise, because the world needs more wisdom, and if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.
And now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make good art.
This speech was originally published on the University of the Arts website.
### It's ok to be you
Josh here, and I'm looking for a celebrant.
I'm guessing it's not you, because the celebrant needs to be able to get to Orlando in January to cover for me, because it looks like I won't be able to get there.
And I've got a problem. The celebrants I'm finding in America (or officiants if you prefer) make it really hard to figure out what kind of person they are.
I'm scrolling through directories, and search listings, and they all have photos of couples, photos of rings or flowers. They have whispy logos that look like they're torn straight out of Hello May, and some that look like they're straight out of MS WordArt.
Barely any mention name, they're all going for the SEO hits by branding themselves as "Region Name Best Celebrant" - stop f'ing doing this guys, it's lovely that you're on the Gold Coast and you're the best, but just say your name.
Just be you.
This is a call to action for celebrants and officiants in Orlando, but honestly, it goes out to all of you. Stop with the AAA Best Celebrant Woolongong.com branding and pictures from stock photo websites. Call yourself your name. Identify yourself with a hot photo of yourself. Pay a photographer to make a hot photo of yourself.
Just be you. It's ok to be you. You're great, we love you, people want to book you .... if only they could find you through all of the branding BS.
### Where should we get clients to review us?
Gail asks:
Sooo... your couple love you and want to leave a review! Where is the best place/s for them leave this review to really market your business and what links would you send them?
There are three reasons for getting reviews and testimonials, and those reasons flow into where we should get them.
Firstly, we want reviews to prove to other people that we “do what it says on the box.” What I mean by that is that we’re providing evidence or proof that we do what we say we do. So collecting those reviews and publishing them on our social media and on our own websites are powerful marketing tools.
Secondly, we want reviews in places where real life humans that might book us will be looking for reviews of us. These places will always be slightly changing, but today I would strongly argue that regular Aussies are looking for reviews on marriage celebrants in: Facebook and Google. On your Facebook page make sure you have recommendations and reviews enabled, and do the same on your GMB (Google My Business) app.
Finally, we want reviews where Google and other search engines like Bing, Siri, and Alexa, can find them. Facebook Recommendations and Google My Business reviews definitely fit this list, but I’ll add Yelp, WOMO, Wedding.com.au, and Trust Pilot. If you can convince people to visit those extra websites, you’ll be adding to your SEO juice and having a win at the same time!
### We don't publish all your questions or all the answers
A few people have mentioned they're not sending in questions because they don't want the question or answer published.
### Replying to new wedding enquiries with Bonjoro
A Celebrant Institute member was listening to back catalogue episodes of the Celebrant Talk Show and found one where I mentioned that my sales process involved potential couples requesting an information pack from my website and a automated email would be sent to them containing a link to a secret page on my website which I called my "Information Pack" and that page detailed how I worked, what I did, what that cost, and how to book me in.
In the podcast I invited people to request an information pack, which that member did.
The thing is, that since then I've changed the customer journey, I'm always slightly adjusting it, so it serves my needs best, my potential couples' needs best, and adjusting to market conditions. So here's what happens today, in mid-2020.
Step one - they enquire
Step one is for couples to find out that I exist, whichever way that happens, they visit my website, and eventually make a decision to find out "how much."
A few places around the website, at the bottom of the front page, and also on the contact page, I have the same form, which is an enquiry form, looking for details around who the couple is, when and where their wedding is, and a few personality questions which add some fun to a boring form to fill out.
Step two - I respond
Where I used to automatically email every couple with an information pack, I realised that my personal strength in sales is in my personality. And an automated email could not convey that well enough.
When someone fills out that enquiry form on my website, I now simply get an email that I can choose to hit reply to in my email client, or I can choose to send a video email. Video emails are an easy way to close a sale for me, and they are worth every cent I pay for the software and worth every effort I need to make to record a video.
So here's the technicalities of this. My Wordpress website, which has Gravity Forms form software running on it, sends me an email from the website. That's the first screenshot. Gravity Forms then lets Zapier know that an enquiry has been received and Zapier is a really powerful tool, it can do so many things. I ask Zapier to do two things when I get an enquiry. One is to send a push notification to my Apple Watch and iPhone, so I know I need to reply, and secondly, to add that enquiry to Bonjoro so when I open the Bonjoro app, the couple's name and email address are already there in my to-do list in Bonjoro.
Wordpress - website CMS
Gravity Forms - Wordpress plugin
Zapier - like a translator, it speaks to everything on the web
Pushover - push notification app for personal use
Bonjoro - app for sending video emails
To recap - an enquiry is made, that turns into an email and also a Bonjoro task. If I'm not available I just hit reply and say sorry, if I am available I open up Bonjoro and record a 30-45 second video that is emailed to the couple.
You can watch the video email here.
Step three - we dance
In the video I invite the couple to view my information pack, and in the Bonjoro email I link to the information pack. From there my enquiry process probably looks remarkably similar to yours, we back and forth on email, get on the phone, or Zoom, or FaceTime, or in person, or whatever, but also luckily for me, maybe 40% of the couples who receive a Bonjoro email from me, just book without a meeting, because the video is authentic and personal.
### Seth Godin on selling your time
Seth Godin today writing about charging per hour, something I still see celebrants do. I wrote about a similar idea a year ago here on Celebrant Institute so it's nice to have kind of beat Seth Godin to something for once.
We don’t pay surgeons by the hour.
And if the person who cuts the lawn shows up with a very fast riding mower, we don’t insist on paying less because they didn’t have to work as hard.
Often, what we care about is the work done, not how long it took to do it.
And yet, some jobs, from law to programming, charge by the hour.
When you sell your time, you’re giving away your ability to be a thoughtful, productivity-improving professional.
Sell results.
### Regarding compassionate grounds for weddings in Melbourne
An update for Melbourne celebrants on compassionate grounds for weddings over the next five weeks.
To subscribe to the secret members only podcast, go to your Account and in the menu choose podcasts and that's where you can subscribe to your members only podcast. The free podcast, the Celebrant Talk Show is available as always at celebrant.fm.
### You don't have to do everything
A celebrant enquired today about a couple who wanted to do a live stream of their wedding to family in Europe, but the celebrant didn't know where to start or what to do.
I thought it was a good prompt for me to remind celebrants of what we do have to do, and what we don't have to do.
According to the code of practice we have to:
A marriage celebrant must maintain a high standard of service in his or her professional conduct and practice.
A marriage celebrant must recognise the social, cultural and legal significance of marriage and the marriage ceremony in the Australian community, and the importance of strong and respectful family relationships.
A marriage celebrant must: (a) solemnize marriages according to the legal requirements of the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth); and (b) observe the laws of the Commonwealth and of the State or Territory where the marriage is to be solemnized; and (c) prevent and avoid unlawful discrimination in the provision of marriage celebrancy services.
A marriage celebrant must respect the importance of the marriage ceremony to the parties and the other persons organising the ceremony.
A marriage celebrant must: (a) maintain an up-to-date knowledge about appropriate family relationships services in the community; and (b) inform parties about the range of information and services available to them to enhance, and sustain them throughout, their relationship.
And that's the whole list.
Things not on that list, and thus, things you don't have to do, include:
Supplying table and chairs
Supplying a PA speaker system and microphone/s
Playing music
Providing copyright licenses
Providing insurances outside of your direct responsibilities
Supplying an arbour
Providing ornaments and decorations
Singing
MC'ing receptions
Live streaming anything
Recording video
Rehearsals
A thousand meetings
Audio recordings
Scripts
Folders
Umbrellas
Transport
Vow card printing
Emotional support
Covid-19 advice
Border closures and gathering restrictions advice
There's probably other things, but everything on that second list is optional.
If you don't feel competent, comfortable, and capable with doing anything on that list, not only do you not have to do it, you don't have to offer it as part of your packages and you don't need to do it to compete with other celebrants.
You need to prepare a space where you can excel at being you. You need to prepare yourself to walk into that ceremony and to absolutely rock it, and don't let anything distract you from that.
### 222 reasons you need to secure your domain name for the love of God, please just do it
A few years ago I lost control of my website.
Hackers accessed my GoDaddy account and took control of my main domain name, which at the time was marriedbyjosh.com. The domain name is like the street sign and house number, pointing to the house, the house being my website hosting. So my website still existed but the domain name had been hacked. The long story made short on that is that GoDaddy isn't to be trusted, but more importantly, my domain name matters.
Your domain name is how people
Visit your website
Email you
On top of that your domain name is a source of trust amongst humans, and equally amongst computers because it's how Google and other search engines know who you are.
Here's a quick and easy to-do list for today.
Figure out, or know, who your domain name registrar is. I know some people have "web guys", but I would encourage you to bring your domain name home to your own management. Its not hard, and it means you hold the keys to your car, not your favourite nerd.
Once you know who your domain registrar is, know how to log on and manage your account.
Now you're managing your account I need you to check five things:
The contact email address is your correct email address
The other contact details are correct
That the domain is on auto-renew
And the correct credit card details are entered
That if you have two-step authentication available, you would turn it on, this means hackers need access not just to your username and password, but all your phone
Ideally that's enough to make sure your domain name is safe. But if you feel wise, go one step further: manually renew your domain for the longest period possible. It might be 10 years. At around $20 a year, $200 is good value for peace of mind in my books.
You might have noticed I bagged GoDaddy above, and I'll do it again now, they were so helpful to the hackers who claimed to be me, and less than helpful to me who actually is me. I left them straight away, and I highly recommend everyone move all of their domain name registrations to Hover.com. They are a company I trust, the management interface is simple and clean, and unlike every other host they aren't trying to upset me on everything else. They even have a really good human customer service side to it. You can email them and they'll help you transfer your domains to them for free. I can't recommend them enough. I recommend them is much that if you click the first Hover link that's just a link to their front page, but if you use this link to sign up I get a $2 credit on my account https://hover.com/ICJkfriO.
Why is this important?
Here's a list of the domain names that have expired or been deleted, I assume accidentally, in the Australian domain name space (domains that end in .au) since May. Many since have been re-purchased by other businesses, or by SEO spammers.
If you're serious about your business, I'm guessing you want to stay off this list, because when your domain name is not renewed, aka it expires, you lose access to it, your email, your website, and your trust.
marriagecelebrantadelaide.com.au
katieyoungcelebrant.com.au
howmuchdoesacelebrantcost.com.au
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### Live streaming a wedding, and what about the music copyright?
A member asks:
Am I correct in assuming that couple's cannot live stream their marriage ceremony given music copyright issues?
So there's a few issues to address in this one short question.
The first is responsibility. If you as the celebrant are not responsible for the stream, if it isn't being broadcast by your equipment or on your website or streaming services, then its not your responsibility and not your worry.
Moving on to the issue of whether you can or can't stream. There's a chance - and only a chance - that if a live stream contains copyright material and the streaming provider deems the live stream to be in breach of a copyright owner, then it's possible that the streaming provider might shut the stream down. There are live streaming providers you can use that are less trigger happy on this kind of scenario, but the fact remains that if you do not have the permission and right to broadcast a recorded work, then you are breaching copyright.
So how I get around this issue is really easy: I don't broadcast or live stream the music. My live streams only broadcast the audio that my microphone hears, and being a professional grade microphone, it only picks up what is in front of it. There may be background music which can be heard quietly, but that isn't enough to warrant a brach of copyright nor trigger an automatic detection of copyright protection bots.
Just live stream the celebrant's microphone and you're fine.
### How to lodge marriage documents electronically with the ACT BDM
The Births, Deaths, and Marriages in Queensland, New South Wales, and Victoria, all have their own online systems for logging in online and submitting marriage paperwork electronically.
For almost every other BDM in Australia you’re left with an envelope, a postage stamp, plus a hope and a prayer as Australia Post physically and delicately transports the marriage paperwork from your office to the registrar.
In the Australian Capital Territory they have met us half way.
With only 1,562 marriages being registered in the ACT in 2018, that leaves the BDM about 6 marriages per business day to process, compared to the 156 per business day NSW BDM has to process.
Building a system like BDM Online for Queensland, Lifeline for New South Wales, or RIO for Victoria, is a big dollar event, involving multiple full time staff and developers for many years, so I understand ACT’s reluctance to buy in on a system today when one day soon there’ll probably be an off-the-shelf product for them to buy instead of develop and screw up like the other states.
So, for marriages solemnised in the ACT they have made it really easy.
How to register a marriage electronically in the ACT
Once you have solemnised a marriage in the Australian Capital Territory, and you would like to electronically submit the marriage paperwork, within two weeks of the marriage ceremony taking place, simply attach the NOIM, Declaration, and Official Certificate of Marriage, along with any other necessary paperwork you might need to submit, to an email addressed to:
marriages@act.gov.au
### Sarah's gear - a video
I've been creating some video content for my Cert IV students and thought I'd share some of it with you in case you find it interesting!
Students and new celebrants always want to know about the gear I use, from the PA equipment to what I use to read my ceremonies from. So here's a little video to show you all my gear!
Big shout out to Jack from Oneheart Studios for creating this video, and to David Schneider from Professional Ceremonies for allowing me to use his chapel to film it!
### What does Instagram Reels’ launch mean for the wedding industry?
Instagram’s latest feature ‘Reels’ is in addition to it’s existing product suite of regular Instagram news feed posts, Stories, and IGTV.
Instagram Reels is a short-form, 15 second maximum length, video format where you can record, edit, and share the 15 second videos on Instagram. There’ll be a new Reels tab.
Reels launches later this week and I think there’s so much strength in jumping on a bandwagon early because no-one else is there, it’s in Instagram’s best interests to promote new features, so its’ a real big fish in a small pond scenario. An easy win.
If you’re at all familiar with TikTok, Reels is pretty much in direct competition with TikTok.
TikTok’s strength has been leaning on the fun, personality, and talent driven side of social media.
So how could a celebrant or someone in the wedding industry take advantage of Reels at launch?
Beauty transformations - the before and after types of content are big on Instagram and they’ll continue being big on Instagram Reels.
Mini vlogs - short storytelling and documenting pieces of content are always going to be strong content pieces.
Throwback travel moments - compiling photo and video from past travels.
Behind the scenes - pull the curtain back on your business and art and share how things happen behind the scenes.
Everyday life - share that solid evidence that you’re not a lizard person and that you have a real life going on behind your social media identity.
Comedy - if you can make people laugh, you’ll always be popular.
Tutorials and how-tos - people love to learn, what can you teach them?
### The Stage 4 restrictions in Victoria and what they mean for weddings
A brief update from Sarah on the Stage 4 restrictions in Victoria and what they mean for marriages - at this stage...
### How to be your own publicist
A solid foundation of my business success as a celebrant has lay in the realm of good publicity. Good publicity can’t make a filling business profitable, or an unskilled celebrant, talented, but if you’re already rocking a good business operating system, and your ceremonies are resonating with people and getting good reviews, publicity is the cream on top that helps more couples find you, and book you.
In this article I wanted to lay out a few tools that I have used in the past, and continue to use today, to “get my name out there” but in a very deliberate and meaningful way.
To save you the time scrolling, not one of these tips is to do a giveaway. There are a limited number of circumstances where I would advocate for a free giveaway, and not one of those involves you or I turning up to a wedding for free.
1. Source Bottle and HARO
Source Bottle and Help A Reporter Out (HARO) are tools that journalists and content creators use to find sources for articles and stories in the news, media, magazines, TV, and radio.
When you see someone on the TV, or mentioned in an article, there’s an ever increasing chance that the producer of the content put a call out on a website like these and someone responded accordingly.
Position yourself to be a person who can respond accordingly.
On Source Bottle you can even pay for a membership to be automatically put in front of people like this.
The two advantages to this kind of coverage are simple and effective. One is that other websites mentioning you is a plain and simple strong SEO advantage. The other is that other people, including the news, media, magazines, blogs, podcasts etc mentioning you, increases your brand awareness and creates extra touch points for people to find out that you exist.
2. Be ahead of the curve/eight ball/trend
A little bit of weekly research, and reading in the right places, puts you ahead of the game everyone else is playing.
When you’re creating your content (blog/social media/podcast/video/Instagram lives/stories) you want to maintain relevance to your community, and be the person who knows the trends and the hot topics in their community.
Part of that process requires you to just be simply active in the community, on social media, in the groups, and the blogs. Part requires you to do a little bit of research.
Two places I go regularly to do that are:
Buzz Sumo, Google Alerts, and Google Trends.
Go to Buzz Sumo today and type in ‘weddings’ in the front page search box to see content that is performing really well right now online around that topic. Put a weekly reminder on your to-do list to have a quick look at Buzz Sumo regularly to see what content is working well for others and then reflect on your own content creation strategy.
On Google Alerts I have a few select keywords and brand namers that Google alerts me of (emails me) when people and news organisations write about them. This way I can be the first to know when someone is blogging a wedding of mine, or writing about topics I’m interested in.
In Google Trends I can understand how real people are searching on the internet for things my business is interested in, weddings for example.
Inside the Google Trends dashboard you can compare topics against each other to see what real world interest is like, and in different regions.
Or you can look at related search queries to understand what else people are searching for.
On top of all of your other market research this data should enable you to write, record, and publish content that is truly interesting to real people that will be more likely to book you as their celebrant because of your evident relevance to their lives.
This isn’t about being “hip and cool” it’s about being real and human, and seeking input from outside of your head.
3. Be your own publisher
Getting published in newspapers or broadcast on TV is lovely, and honestly, it’s good for business, but there needs to be a groundswell of “you” when people come looking. If your only exposure is on other people’s platforms, you’re building a house on sand, not solid rock.
Make sure that all of your best ideas are on your own blog, and if you’re needing help formatting that better for SEO, look at a tool like Inlinks (take the free introduction over Zoom, it’s really helpful) so that your content isn’t just helpful to couples but also to Google.
Once you’ve recorded your best content, stories, campaigns, and pitches on your own blog, put them out to the world, on social media, Medium, LinkedIn, etc.
And don’t be afraid to re-share, or even update and re-share, old content. Just because you’ve heard of it doesn’t mean your couples have.
### Preparing for the aftertime
In today's Celebrant Talk Show podcast episode recorded Saturday August 1, 2020, we talk about how branded face masks should in no way be a thing, giving terrible advice to couples about COVID-19 lockdowns, preparing for the aftertime, how to make a customer journey, our new Celebrant Institute membership software (Memberful), and can celebrants act as a JPs in their community?
### Wedding rehearsals - a video
I've been creating some video content for my Cert IV students and thought I might share it with all of you too, in case you find it interesting!
In this video I take you through how I run a wedding rehearsal. Please note this is only how I do it; I don't expect you or anyone else to do it this way, but hopefully it will give you some ideas. Remember my philosophy with these things is that you should collect as much information from as many celebrants as possible, pick what you like and what you don't, and hopefully that will help to inform the way you do things!
Big shout out to Jack from Oneheart Studios for creating this video, to David Schneider from Professional Ceremonies for allowing me to use his chapel to film it, and to my celebuddies David, Amber, Klara and Sam for playing the couple and their attendants!
Watch it here:
https://vimeo.com/638463056/9a2c0f1c6e
### How to to-do
Gail asks:
Hi Josh. You mentioned in one of the podcasts that you use ToDoist to organise your projects. Could you please run me through how you utilise this as I am also a ToDoist fan.
I’ve moved on from Todoist since that podcast, but I’ve always had and always will have a system of accountability for making sure I do what I need to do. Whether that’s Todoist, or Reminders, or the system I’m using now, Dubsado, it’s important to keep myself accountability to a basic level of getting important work done.
Luckily for you, the system I used to get my reminders into Todoist, is still what I use for many things today, and that’s Zapier. Zapier is a really powerful tool that takes an input, like a form, or an action online, or an email, and it then does a number of things with it that you choose.
You might choose to make a ‘zap’ that takes the input of a form, and that form has a couple’s name and their wedding date. You’ll then make some actions in that zap that create a number of to-do items in Todoist one month, four months, etc before said wedding date.
In this example I’ve set a triggering event as a couple signing my contract in Dubsado, and as a result of that trigger event, I’m asking Zapier to create a to-do item in Todoist with the couple’s name and a reminder that I have a month (I’ve put 62 days) to get their NOIM into my filing cabinet.
My personal setup now actually keeps the accountability (to-dos) in Dubsado, using a combination of Dubsado’s built-in reminders feature and also project statuses in Dubsado. My goal is to aways be moving couples from Booking to Confirmed Booking (once a deposit is made and a date is confirmed), from Confirmed Booking to NOIM (once a NOIM is received), from NOIM to Planned (once I have planned their ceremony), from Planned to Married (this one’s easy right?), and from Married to Reviewed, once I have their review.
### My entire client journey, end to end
I was looking for a post where I'd mapped out my entire client journey in response to a member's question, and realised I've never actually done it! I've talked about my ceremony creation process a couple of times, and I think I've talked about my whole client journey on the podcast, but at this point I have no idea lol. So here's my client journey, as I wrote it for my Cert IV students, complete with links to other posts and podcast episodes.
The client journey: marriages
The client journey is literally the steps the celebrant and the client go through from initial enquiry to the wedding day. It is important to set up a streamlined, efficient client journey to make life as easy as possible for clients, and of course to ensure everything is put in place to provide them with a legal and personal marriage ceremony.
NB: In the following article I’m going to outline how I manage my client journey with marriage clients. I’ve provided all the templates I have designed over the years in the Celebrant Institute Shop; some of the more simple templates I've designed over the years are available directly from this article to download for free. This client journey could take place over five weeks or two years, but the general principles are the same; the timeline is simply sped up for a booking with less lead time.
There are many other ways of managing the client journey, and it’s a great idea for you to speak to lots of different celebrants and find out how they do things, so you can put together a client journey that works best for you and your clients.
Top ten tips for new marriage celebrants, 12:47
Here’s a summary of the steps in my client journey; we’ll examine these in more detail below:
Receive enquiry; confirm my availability and price, answer other questions.
Organise and attend a pitch meeting.
Follow up after the pitch meeting and ask for the booking.
Confirm booking: clients confirm their contact information, sign my Celebrant Service Agreement (CSA), and pay a non-refundable booking fee, following which they receive my Ceremony Builder Booklet.
Organise and attend a planning and legals meeting three months before the ceremony.
Complete the NOIM and sight identity documents.
Parties complete questionnaires for their story at least six weeks before the ceremony.
Final payment is due one month before the ceremony.
Draft and send ceremony script four weeks before the ceremony.
Vows, music and reading selections finalised two weeks before the ceremony.
Prepare all legal paperwork for review by the couple at the rehearsal.
Organise and attend rehearsal usually in the week before the ceremony.
Print all legal paperwork two days before the ceremony.
Attend and perform the wedding ceremony.
Follow up after the ceremony; ask for feedback.
Send documents to BDM for registration of the marriage.
Ceremony design process
Making customer journeys easier, and inclusive, like Sephora
I think I’ve already mentioned this on the podcast before, 30:45
Imagine that you’re on a date with Facebook, 50:25
Receive enquiry; confirm my availability and price, answer other questions
The first contact marriage celebrants are likely to receive from potential clients is by email, social media message, or occasionally a phone call. Using effective communication skills, a marriage celebrant will answer queries and also ask questions. The enquirer will most likely want to know the celebrant’s fee, and whether the celebrant is available on a particular day. The celebrant will ask the whereabouts of the venue and the time of the proposed wedding to ensure they are available, and if they are available, they will try to set up a face-to-face meeting.
Of course the enquiry may go nowhere. The prospective parties may be contacting several celebrants with a view to deciding who they feel best suits their needs and personality. Remember, first impressions are made quickly, often within 5–8 seconds. This includes when people view your website. You want to create a good first impression.
How to get enquiries to reply to your emails
Pricing on websites; to list or not to list? Sarah’s view
Pricing on websites; to list or not to list? Josh’s view
Answering ‘how much do you cost?’
Increasing your enquiry conversion rate
A tribute to the greatest podcast episode, 15:30
The one where we throw eggs at Sarah, 14:00
Organise and attend a pitch meeting
By ‘pitch’ I mean my sales pitch. This is the meeting at which I sell myself and my process to the couple, so they have more information about how I work and what kind of person I am before deciding whether to book me. Some celebrants call this a ‘meet and greet’, some call it an ‘obligation-free chat’— there are no rules for how you label your meetings.
I open up by chatting to the couple a bit about their day and their wedding plans, then I talk them through my Ceremony Builder Booklet, explaining how I will work with them through the process of developing their wedding ceremony, the different options they can include in their ceremony, and the legalities of getting married in Australia.
I don't tend to abide by the "let them do the talking" sales rule in this meeting; I've found that even if I ask them lots of questions, most of the couples I meet have NO IDEA what they want to include in their wedding, what they want their wedding to feel like (apart from "relaxed" - every single couple tells me that), or what is even possible or required. So I tend to do most of the talking in this meeting and I'm okay with that.
I never ask for the booking at this meeting, mostly because I’m a scaredy cat :) Sales people will teach you to always ask for the booking, but I don’t like to put people on the spot. I tell them they should go home and have a chat about our conversation, and I’ll follow up with them in a few days to see if they have any further questions. I close by giving them my business card and telling them they’re free to call or email me if they think of anything else.
Note: My preference is to meet with couples in person for this meeting, but that’s not always possible, particularly in the time of COVID-19. So Zoom meetings are becoming a thing, and I recommend you trial both meeting in person and via Zoom to see which works best for you.
How to video chat really well
Dealing with difficult couples
Legals Only weddings: clarity for couples
My Ceremony Builder Booklet
Follow up after the pitch meeting and ask for the booking
I’ve tried lots of different methods here, but the one that works for me is sending them an email about three days after the meeting saying, ‘Hi, it was lovely to meet you both, just following up to see if you had any further questions or me or if you’d like to go ahead with a booking.’ It’s as simple as that.
I don’t follow up more than once. I figure if they want to book me, one follow-up will be enough to remind them to book, and if they don’t want to book me, any more than that will be annoying.
Confirm booking
How you manage confirming bookings is completely up to you, and will depend a bit on what type of system you’re using to organise your business. I’m going to outline how I used to confirm bookings when I was using a paper-based system and Excel spreadsheet, and how I confirm bookings now that I’m using an online customer relationship management tool called Tavé.
Paper-based
Once the couple confirmed they wanted to book me, I created a hard copy folder for them with my full checklist stapled to the front and my full booking form printed and filed within. The checklist outlined every single step that needed to be taken throughout the ceremony planning process, including at the rehearsal and on the ceremony day. There were also notations for items that were the couple’s responsibility and for items that were the celebrant’s responsibility. The booking form was the way I gathered information, including the couple’s contact details, other suppliers, how much I was charging, when payments were made, meeting and rehearsal dates, and ceremony planning.
Wedding Checklist
Wedding Booking Form
I would then send them my booking confirmation email. This email asked them to pay a booking fee, provided my bank account details, attached an invoice with payment terms and conditions, and asked them for their contact details (full names, phone numbers, email addresses, postal addresses) so I could post out some documents to them. All of their information would be recorded on the booking form in their client folder.
It’s important to obtain an initial payment from clients before sending them any intellectual property (which is how I see my Ceremony Builder Booklet). I take 50% of the full fee at the time of booking, and I always call it a non-refundable booking fee, not a deposit (some say the word ‘deposit’ implies that it is refundable). So sending the booking confirmation email allowed me to have them pay me some money upfront, and then get their details so I could post out my CSA and Ceremony Builder Booklet.
Booking confirmation email
Getting the deposit paid
Non-refundable refund demanded
Once they’d paid their booking fee into my bank account, I prepared a hard copy pack to post to them, including:
a welcome letter
my Ceremony Builder Booklet
two copies of my CSA, one for them to sign and keep, and one for them to sign and send back to me
a receipt for their booking fee payment
a self-stamped addressed envelope for them to return their signed CSA to me.
Welcome letter
Ceremony Builder Booklet
Celebrant Service Agreement
I’d post it all out, they’d return their signed CSA, and the booking was confirmed.
NB: my Ceremony Builder Booklet contains the Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants, information on relationship education, and my privacy policy, so me providing them with that booklet ticks off those legal requirements regarding the information that needs to be provided to couples.
My Ceremony Builder Booklet
When to provide documentation to couples
Online
The process I use through Tavé is very similar to that I used with the paper-based system and uses mostly the same documents, but it’s in a slightly different order and obviously all online. I no longer attach a checklist to the front of their file because my checklist is in Tavé. I use a much simpler booking form that only captures the information about their ceremony, because all the rest of their information is in Tavé.
Once the couple confirms they want to book me, I prepare the online booking process. I send them an email with a link to this process, and the system automatically takes them through each of steps:
It shows them the type of ceremony they’ve booked and the price, and offers them additional inclusions they can select (e.g. additional rehearsals, special outfit, etc).
They can select their payment schedule, either 50% now and 50% one month before the ceremony, or the entire amount now.
They complete their contact information (names, phone numbers, email addresses, home addresses) and confirm the details of their booking (date, time and venue).
They review and sign my CSA by typing their names into the appropriate boxes.
They pay a booking fee by credit card, or transfer direct into my bank account.
Once they have completed the booking process and I have received their booking fee, the system emails them a receipt, a copy of their CSA with my electronic signature attached, and a PDF of the Ceremony Builder Booklet, then the booking is confirmed.
Ten reasons you should take credit card payments
Communicating timelines with couples
Organise and attend planning and legals meeting
Three months before the wedding I contact the couple again to organise a second meeting, at which we’ll complete the NOIM and plan their ceremony. In the email to set up this meeting I ask them to bring along their identity documents and their Ceremony Builder Booklet.
Ceremony planning meeting email
I start the meeting checking in on how they’re going with their wedding planning, helping them out with any issues they’re having and suggesting suppliers if they’re stuck on any areas. Then we move on to completing the NOIM:
I ask to see their identity documents.
I fill in the NOIM with the details from their documents, and note that I’ve sighted their documents on page 4.
The parties check all the details and sign on page 4 with me witnessing their signatures.
I provide the parties with the Happily Ever... Before and After brochure as required by s42(5A) of the Act, and tick the appropriate boxes on page 4.
My personal preference is to handwrite the NOIM when I'm meeting with them and have them sign it there and then. I then take it home and enter the details into the VIC BDM RIO system to create the rest of the legal paperwork; I don't reprint the NOIM, I just upload the handwritten and signed one.
Note as at 27 July 2020: obviously a process like this is less simple in the time of COVID. Wherever possible at the moment I'm sending the couple a questionnaire to complete with all the information I need for the NOIM, then I'm preparing the NOIM through Victoria's BDM RIO system, and meeting with the couple just to sign the NOIM. They can send me their proof of date and place of birth/termination of previous marriage documents via email and I can sight their photo ID when I meet them to confirm their identity. I have written to the AGD again asking them to reconsider enabling us to witness signatures on the NOIM via videoconferencing.
Notice of Intended Marriage
Happily Ever... Before and After
Then we start planning their ceremony. Hopefully they’ve read through the Ceremony Builder Booklet and have some ideas of what they’d like to include in their ceremony. I ask them questions about their ceremony and record their answers on my booking form.
In my view it is crucial to have some kind of questionnaire or planning document to collect information on so that you don’t overlook asking important or relevant questions. I know that everything I need to know to put their ceremony together is covered on my booking form, and more often than not I come up with questions the couple hasn’t already thought of. There’s no point relying on the couple to just tell you what they want; most couples have never been married before, many of them haven’t been to many weddings, and they may not have any idea what they want in their ceremony.
I collect information on:
their preferred names for the ceremony
ceremony date and start time (I like to confirm it at this three-month point just in case anything has changed since they booked me)
venue, whether they’re planning an indoor or outdoor ceremony, and if outdoor, what their backup plan is
their theme (colour or otherwise), number of guests, whether a PA is needed, whether the venue or another supplier is providing the signing table or chairs, and whether they’re having live music at the ceremony
their wedding party: first names of their attendants, any juniors such as flower girls or page boys, and the full legal names of their official witnesses
their families: are their parents together, if they’re separated are they bringing new partners and what are their names, how many siblings do they have and do they need jobs in the ceremony, whether there will be any grandparents in attendance, and whether there are any family sensitivities I need to be aware of (e.g. Mum and Dad don’t speak to each other so I shouldn’t encourage them to sit together)
what they would like to include in each section of the ceremony, in line with the sections contained in my Ceremony Builder Booklet. My personal ceremony creation philosophy is that other than the legal requirements, nothing goes in the ceremony that the couple have not specifically requested; I may think all couples should include their personal story, but if they don’t want their story told, they don’t get it. By the same token, I don’t limit what they can include due to my own ceremony preferences; I may not love sand ceremonies, but if they want a sand ceremony, they get a sand ceremony!
Wedding Booking Form
There may be some parts of the ceremony they need additional assistance with, for example personal vows, music selections, reading choices. If so, I collect that information and the next day send them an email with various attachments of further resources to help with those ceremony sections.
My ceremony writing timeline
Couple questionnaire
If the parties want the story of their relationship told (and not all do) I send them a separate questionnaire to complete. I personally have found that I get richer responses from my couples when I don’t ask them these questions in person but give them time to consider their answers and write them down. Other celebrants find they get a better response asking the questions in person; that’s something for you to experiment with. The completed questionnaires are due back to me six weeks before the ceremony.
Couple questionnaire
Final payment
I take payment of the remainder of the fee by one month before the ceremony. There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is that if they’re late paying, a month gives me plenty of time to chase them up without fearing they won’t pay before the big day. The second is that if they cancel before a month out, I have the possibility of taking another booking for the day; if they cancel within a month of the ceremony that’s not possible due to the required notice period. So I want them to pay the full amount one month out, and if they cancel within that time I don’t refund their money because I’ve held their date and not been able to take another booking for that time.
You should always send couples a reminder of their payments coming due; I can guarantee they won’t remember without a nudge.
Non-refundable refund demanded
Ten reasons you should take credit card payments
Draft and send ceremony script
I always, always send a draft script. Many celebrants don’t, and that’s their prerogative, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s the couple’s day, not mine, and if they’re not happy with even a single word I say, they may be unhappy with the entire ceremony.
Structuring the ceremony
The format for structuring a marriage ceremony is not prescribed. The only obligation is that the celebrant is to say the Monitum before the parties exchange their compulsory vows, and the names of the parties as they appear on the NOIM must be stated before or during the legal vows.
A suggested traditional order of service could include:
Gathering the guests, ensuring all the seats are filled and everyone can hear the celebrant.
Housekeeping, including requests for unplugged ceremonies, phones off, etc.
Traditionally the junior attendants (flower girls, pageboys) walk the aisle, then the bridesmaids, followed by the bride and her escort (often her father). In 2020 tradition is getting thrown out the window more often than not, and a processional could include all sorts of combinations. As well as the traditional processional I’ve seen:
The wedding party all standing at the top of the aisle to start (if there even is a wedding party), with just the couple entering together
Both sets of attendants entering separately, sometimes alternating, with the couple entering separately, along with their escorts
Both sets of attendants entering in pairs, followed by the couple entering together
No one making an entrance at all; the couple mingles with their guests and we start when they’re ready.
Welcome and introduction, potentially including introducing wedding party, acknowledging guests (particularly those who have travelled a long way to be there), mentioning those not able to attend or no longer with us, Acknowledgement of Country.
Family acknowledgement / giving away. Traditionally the celebrant would say something along the lines of “who brings this woman to marry this man?” and the bride’s father would answer, “I do.” I personally am not a huge fan of the traditional giving away; the brides I work with generally do not see themselves as pieces of meat to be given from one man to another. Instead I like to do something a little more inclusive that involves both sets of parents/families: a family acknowledgment. If the important people in the couple’s lives are their parents, I will say something like “X and Y’s parents are so important to them, they’ve been wonderful models of what it is to love and be loved, and they would like to thank them for all their support over the years. Parents, do you acknowledge this relationship and give your support to their marriage?” and the parents say, “We do.” Some couples just want a statement made about how important their parents are, without asking their parents to say anything; some couples want to mention their “families” rather than their “parents” (depending on the relationships); some couples want a very traditional giving away; some couples want no mention of their parents or families at all. It’s entirely up to them
An explanation of marriage. Every celebrant will have a range of words about love and marriage, and should pick one that best suits the couple getting married.
Couple’s personal story. I build this from the questionnaires the couple have completed (if they decided they wanted to include their story in the ceremony). My couple stories are all different because every couple is different, but I definitely have a formula for writing the story. It starts off with the story of how they met, and their first impressions of each other; I especially love it if one gives me a really profound first impression like “she was just so easy to talk to and I felt like I’d known her forever” and the other gives a slightly less profound first impression like “he had a really cute arse.” Milk those laughs! Then I move on to how they became a couple and when each realised they were in love with the other. If they’ve met some big milestones like buying a house or travelling overseas or having kids I’ll mention those, then I’ll talk about the engagement story. Finally I speak to each party directly to tell them how the other feels about them: “X, Y smiles the most when you … She would never change … about you. It drives her crazy the way you … but she forgives you because she loves you so much. She loves … and she can’t wait to … with you in the future.” And vice versa.
Symbolic rituals.
The asking (the bit where the couple say ‘I do’). I always tell my couples there is nothing in Australian law that requires them to say “I do”, but some couples don’t really feel married unless they say it. So if they have a burning desire to say I do, I provide them with a bunch of options to say I do to, including some very traditional and some more modern.
The monitum.
Legal vows.
Personal vows. I love personal vows and I think every wedding should include them, but some couples simply aren’t wired that way; they might feel that the way they feel about their partner is private and nobody else needs to hear it, or they might simply be super nervous about public speaking. While I always encourage my couples to include legal vows, I absolutely do not insist on it; if they just want to say the legal vows that is absolutely fine.
Ring exchange. Some couples want to slip the rings on straight after the vows, while some want to say something about what the ring represents, e.g. “I give you this ring as a symbol of my everlasting love.” Either option is fine, as is not exchanging rings at all!
I love to pronounce my couples married! There are plenty of options here on top of the traditional “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” You can pronounce them husband and husband, wife and wife, husbands squared, wifes for life, or simply married. The pronouncement is not a legal requirement and can be performed by anyone.
Kiss – but only if they want to! Not all couples want to kiss; for some it’s culturally inappropriate, for others it’s just not their way to have public displays of affection. I’ve had couples shake hands or hug. There are no rules.
Always tell the guests you’re taking the couple away to sign the documents and you’ll be right back to finish the ceremony, and ask them to stay in their seats and listen to the music in the meantime. I always recommend the couple has at least two songs selected for the signing; while it only takes me a couple of minutes to complete the signing process, some photographers take a long time setting up all sorts of photos, so you need to have some music to keep the guests happy.
Housekeeping, including group photo instructions, where to go for canapés and drinks, etc. This is my chance to tell the guests what’s going to happen next before they all scatter and go, “what do we do now?” This MUST happen before you present the newlyweds to their guests; if you leave it until after the presentation you’ll be drowned out by cheers and applause.
My words of congratulations and best wishes for the couple and their marriage.
Presentation of newlyweds. “I present to you for the first time, Mr and Mrs X”, or Mr and Mr, or Mrs and Mrs, or First name and First name, or The Newlyweds, or literally anything else they ask for!
Pop on some upbeat celebratory music and invite the couple to dance back down the aisle and into the waiting arms of their family and friends.
Compulsory components are shown in bold. Permitted changes to the compulsory wording are very limited as set out in the Guidelines. If the full legal names of the parties (as recorded on the Notice of Intended Marriage) are not stated earlier than the compulsory vows, they must be included in the compulsory vows. The parties’ names may be stated more than once.
In my ceremony drafts, I include legally required bits in red text so the couple knows they cannot be changed, and I highlight in yellow anywhere bits are missing (e.g. if the personal vows need to be sent, or the reading selections or music needs to be confirmed), and I put a date by which I would like those items to be finalised by (usually two weeks before the ceremony).
I also include other information about the ceremony in my script: phone numbers of the parties, names of the wedding party and other participants, and staging directions (e.g. ‘bridesmaids walk the aisle in the following order’, or ‘after we have signed the documents, we return to the ceremony space to conclude the ceremony’). That way the couple can get some idea of how the ceremony will work on the day, and they can ensure I haven’t misunderstood any of the important information.
I tell my couples they are welcome to ask me to change any aspect of the ceremony script at all; it’s their day, and I want them to be completely happy with it.
How I make personal ceremonies
Five ways to make your ceremonies better
My ceremony writing timeline
Ceremony design process
How I perform ceremonies without notes or a script (Josh’s view)
Sending ceremony recordings instead of written drafts – a new idea!
“Ceremony writing is my least favourite part”
Music for making ceremonies
A review of Wedwordy, a ceremony script creator
How to surprise a couple with a ceremony
Josh’s ceremony inclusions
Sarah’s ceremony inclusions
It’s the Mabo of the thing, 27:35
Tips for writing
I usually start my ceremony writing with a list of headings of the sections the couple wants to include in their ceremony (from the order of service above) and then fill in each section with appropriate wording.
Introduce each component with a few words of explanation so that guests understand what is happening and why, for example, ‘Fiona will now share a reading with us about the loveliness of love’ (Fiona reads ‘A Lovely Love Story’); or ‘Melissa and Ross will now light a candle in memory of Melissa’s beloved grandfather, Poppy, whom she adored, and who passed away five years ago. Melissa is sure that Poppy is close by, happy that she is marrying the man she loves.’ If the candle was lit without any explanation, the ritual wouldn’t have any meaning for anyone other than Melissa and Ross.
Write instructions into the script so that you can keep control of the ceremony at all times. If the signing is to occur within the ceremony, and the wedding party will regroup after the signing, allowing the celebrant to say the final words to conclude the ceremony, then the celebrant needs to ensure that people remain where they are. For example: ‘The couple and their witnesses will now sign the marriage certificates. Please remain where you are, and we will be back shortly to conclude the ceremony.’
Writing for the ear is different to writing for the eye. Ceremony scripts should sound as if you are speaking directly and naturally to people. Read your script aloud and see whether it sounds natural or whether it sounds wooden, technical, or boring.
Ceremony script writing skills. Sarah’s view
How to protect the copyright of your ceremony scripts
Vows, music and reading selections finalised
I like to have the entire ceremony script — including vows, readings and music — finalised and signed off by two weeks before the ceremony. This timeline allows everyone to breathe and allows the couple to concentrate on their other last-minute activities without worrying about their ceremony. It can take a bit of chasing up, but I find if I’m constantly reminding them of the due dates for things (i.e. in the email I send them with the readings and music lists, and in the ceremony draft) they’re generally pretty good at getting things to me on time.
Personal vows and their content
Prepare marriage documents for review by the couple
Before the rehearsal I like to prepare the marriage certificates and the DONLIM, so that the couple can review the marriage certificates for errors and sign the DONLIM at the rehearsal. I use a Microsoft Word template for the Form 15, so I just print that out on blank paper for review; I don’t print it onto the Form 15 until the couple have confirmed all the details are correct.
If there is not going to be a rehearsal, I email PDFs of the documents to the couple for review so they can let me know ahead of time if there are any errors. Although they sign these certificates after solemnisation of the marriage, they don’t check for any errors at that point.
I always ask for the witnesses’ full names to be sent to me before I prepare the paperwork so that I can print them on to the certificates; I don’t like other people’s handwriting on my documents :)
Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage
Official Certificate of Marriage
Combined Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage and Official Certificate of Marriage
Form 15 template
Organise and attend rehearsal
The Code of Practice requires celebrants to give the parties information to assist them decide whether a marriage ceremony rehearsal is needed or appropriate. A rehearsal gives confidence to participants by ensuring everyone knows their role, and it is an ideal way to practise all the logistics and staging of the ceremony. Parties to a marriage may have firm ideas about how they would like their ceremony to evolve, but at a rehearsal it may become apparent that all their ideas aren’t practical, and changes need to be made. Rehearsals are ideal for ironing out problems.
If it is impossible to hold a rehearsal, a mini-rehearsal may take place elsewhere, say at the couple’s home or in a local park. Alternatively, the parties and participants may choose to visit the ceremony site and conduct their own rehearsal without the celebrant being present.
Why hold a rehearsal?
Some celebrants believe a rehearsal can take away from the spontaneity of the day, but many couples prefer to know what they can expect. They want a rehearsal so that they can be confident and composed on their wedding day and not have to worry about what is expected of them. Having a rehearsal means everyone gets to practise their role. Most people have never been married, or been part of a wedding party, so it is important for them to feel confident that they know what to do.
For example, the bride can practice ‘walking down the aisle’ on the arm of her father to the music chosen for the bridal entrance. If she has not practised at the venue, she might find that she walks too quickly, or that the music has ended halfway through her entrance. All these details can cause the bridal party to become stressed and anxious before the ceremony has even begun. Being upset and stressed will take away from the pleasure of the day if participants don’t know what to do because the details were not carefully thought through beforehand.
The couple may have spent thousands of dollars on their wedding, spent months planning, and suffered emotional stress in the build up to their wedding day. The last thing they want to happen is for preventable mishaps to occur, and/or be disappointed at how their ceremony was conducted.
Couples will look to the celebrant for guidance about how their ceremony may be staged. They will also be critical of the celebrant if no one knows what to do. Celebrants want to be remembered for the right reasons. A rehearsal is therefore crucial to identify what works and what doesn’t work. It allows the couple to make decisions, and for the ceremony to be as flawless as possible.
Outline of a rehearsal
At the start of a rehearsal, it’s a great opportunity for the celebrant to meet the wedding party and sometimes the parties’ parents, if they’re in attendance. Then we move into the actual rehearsal.
We don’t practise all the words, we practise the logistics of the ceremony: where the wedding party and celebrant will stand, placement of PA system, choreography of the processional, where readers will stand, placement of the signing table and how signing will be organised, regrouping, conclusion and recessional.
After the ceremony has been rehearsed, often including a second pass at the processional, the parties and the celebrant gather to confirm final details. This is the time for the parties to review the OCMs and Form 15 draft prepared by the celebrant and check there have not been any errors, or to let the celebrant know if their address or occupation has changed since the NOIM was completed. It is also time for the parties to sign the DONLIM, and for the celebrant to confirm details for the day such as what time they should arrive and what the plan B is for extreme weather situations.
Rehearsal fee, terms and conditions
You may or may not include a rehearsal in your fee structure. Alternatively, you may charge an extra fee for an on-site rehearsal. You need to be upfront with your clients as soon as you begin discussions with them about whether there are any extra fees payable. This may include a rehearsal fee.
In the Guidelines on advertising for Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants, MLCS suggests that how and when rehearsals will occur might be included in your CSA. If you are entering into a signed CSA with a couple several months before their wedding day, it can be difficult to know exactly when a rehearsal will occur. However, you can include a term and condition in your CSA using wording of a general nature, such as:
A rehearsal will be held at the agreed ceremony venue within two weeks prior to the wedding day, on a day and time mutually agreed to in writing by the Celebrant and the Parties. There is no further fee payable to hold an on-site rehearsal.
If you do charge an extra fee to hold a rehearsal, then this needs to be included in your CSA, as well as any time limit you set for a rehearsal; for example, your CSA may include terms and conditions along the following lines:
Ceremony rehearsal
(a) A rehearsal will be held at the agreed ceremony venue within two weeks prior to the wedding day, on a day and time mutually agreed to in writing by the Celebrant and the Parties.
(b) The Celebrant will allocate forty-five (45) minutes for a rehearsal which must begin at the agreed time. If all participants have not arrived by the scheduled start time, the rehearsal will still proceed on time.
(c) A rehearsal fee of $XX.00 is payable, in advance, for an on-site rehearsal.
(d) If an additional rehearsal is required at an alternative site in case the weather is inclement for your outdoor ceremony, an additional fee of $XX.00 is payable in advance. The time and date for the second rehearsal must be agreed to in writing and forty-five (45) minutes will be allocated on the same conditions as set out above in subparagraph (b).
The above terms and conditions for your CSA are suggestions only. If you do want to include terms and conditions in your CSA that relate to a rehearsal, ensure that your wording is clear and cannot be misunderstood or misinterpreted. The purpose of including terms and conditions in a CSA is to avoid misunderstandings and disputes.
The reason a timeframe of 45 minutes is suggested for a rehearsal is because wedding participants often treat a rehearsal as a very casual affair and arrive late. If the marrying party are required to pay for more than a limited time, it is more likely they will ensure that the wedding party and any other participants will arrive early or on time to take part in the rehearsal.
The time you allow for a rehearsal and a rehearsal fee is for you to negotiate with your clients. I am in no way implying that you should adhere to the time referred to in the suggested terms and conditions.
Details that could be examined before or during a rehearsal
The best time to hold a rehearsal is at the same time of day as the ceremony is scheduled, and as close to the wedding day as possible. It doesn’t matter as much for an indoor ceremony, but if the ceremony will be outdoors there are many things which may have a bearing on the ceremony such as sun, shade, tide, safety, noise and cleanliness of the location.
Encourage everyone to arrive early or on time to the rehearsal, and ensure that you arrive early with everything you will need to conduct the ceremony. Caution the couple that if they arrive late for the wedding ceremony, the sun, shade and tide might be quite different to that on the day of the rehearsal.
Set a time for the rehearsal and confirm that you will start on time, even if everyone hasn’t arrived, and that you will depart on time. You will not wait around for late-comers.
If a participant cannot attend, tell the others that they may need to explain to that person what their role is.
Check parking. Is there plenty of room for you to park on the wedding day? Do you need to arrange assistance to carry your equipment to the site? Did you find the venue easily?
Be organised, positive, calm, and in control. Sometimes the wedding party are in party mode and don’t take the rehearsal too seriously. It can be frustrating, but you need to be in charge and ensure everyone understands their role.
Do not make decisions for the marrying couple. Provide options and guidance, but let them make any final decisions. You don’t want the couple to say after their wedding that they wished their ceremony had been staged differently.
Survey the venue site. Can you identify any danger or risk? You have a duty of care to let the marrying couple know if you do. If the weather is hot, will cold water be provided for guests? Will there be shade? Will there be seating, especially for the elderly?
Set up at least two chairs if possible, to demonstrate where the first row of seating will be. This will help to decide the width of the aisle, the space for the wedding party, where you will stand, and where the signing table and chairs will be placed.
Where is the best placement for the signing table and chairs? Will there be other decorations such as an archway, carpet, or topiaries on the wedding day? Where is the best placement for the celebrant’s PA system?
Suggest where other participants such as readers will sit or stand while they are waiting to be called forward, for example, seated in an aisle seat near the front so that they have easy access to the ceremony space when they need to come forward.
Suggest to parents where they should sit. For example, if the bride is on the left from the audience’s perspective, her parents are best to sit on the right so that they see her face during the ceremony as she looks at the groom, and vice versa for the groom’s parents. This is the opposite of a traditional seating plan, and parents will appreciate your suggestion.
You can plan the line-up of the wedding party with the marrying couple before the day of the rehearsal. This includes the order the attendants will stand to each side of the couple, and the order in which attendants will enter during the processional. For example, will the maid of honour enter before the bridesmaids and stand next to where the bride will stand, or will the last bridesmaid enter first and stand in her allocated space and the maid of honour enter immediately before the bride? A rehearsal will determine whether this plan will work, or whether changes are required.
If the groomsmen are to break away from the groom to meet the bridesmaids and escort them up the aisle, this can be rehearsed.
Are there any flower girls or pageboys who will lead the procession? Is the flower girl to scatter flowers or petals? Will she remain with the wedding party during the ceremony, or will she join someone in the audience?
How will the person playing the recorded music or musician(s) know when to start playing music? For the processional, sometimes the wedding party assembles near the ceremony site, and sometimes they are quite a distance away. Decide whether a signal can be given by someone with the wedding party to indicate when to start the music, or whether the signal may be blocked by people. Vision may be clear at a rehearsal, but on the wedding day vision may be blocked by guests. Decide whether a go-between needs to be arranged to liaise with the wedding party and the person playing the recorded music or musician(s).
Are any live musicians engaged for the ceremony? If so, where will they be positioned for best effect?
Ask the groom how he is comfortable standing: does he like to stand with his feet slightly apart with his right hand over his left hand? If so, then ask his attendants to stand the same way. It is particularly important before the bridal entrance that the groom and groomsmen are standing uniformly.
Ensure the wedding party don’t stand too far apart. Photographers like them grouped close together.
Practice the processional while the chosen music plays. This can determine:
how much time it takes for the processional
the space between each member of the wedding party
how marrying party and escort will make their entrance
measure the pace to walk in time to the music
where attendants will stand
where marrying party and escort will pause
when music is to fade and stop.
Factor in time for photographs to be taken during the processional. Professional photographers won’t hold up the procession, but amateur photographers can cause considerable delays, all while the music is playing. If an amateur photographer takes too long, the music may well end before the wedding party has reached the groom.
Does the bride’s dress have a train? Do one or two of the bridesmaids need to carry the train up the aisle or as far as the carpet before they take up their own positions?
If relevant, the giving away of the bride should be rehearsed. Will father shake hands with the groom, give his daughter a kiss on her cheek, place her hand in the groom’s hand and then take his seat? How will the bride move around to stand beside the groom? Will she need a bridesmaid to help arrange her gown? Will the groom greet the bride with a kiss?
Does the groom need to lift the bride’s veil? If so, the maid of honour needs to keep an eye on the veil to ensure it falls properly.
Is the bride going to hold her bouquet for the first part of the ceremony, or is she going to immediately hand it to a bridesmaid? If the bride is to keep her bouquet for the first part of the ceremony, rehearse how the bridesmaid will take it from her when the time comes for her to hold both hands with the groom.
Are children involved? How well do they concentrate and listen to what they are required to do? Are they cooperating? Can they be managed? Children need to know their roles.
When it is the reader’s turn, practise them coming forward and taking your microphone, then standing in a pre-arranged place to deliver the reading. Practise delivering the reading for best effect.
Rituals need to be rehearsed to ensure they are delivered seamlessly during the wedding ceremony and any problems are identified. These can be simple or more complex if there is a ritual for the blending of two families involving children. If a participant is a bridesmaid, the rehearsal might disclose that she needs to place her bouquet somewhere during the ritual if she needs two hands free. What to do with the bouquet can be decided.
Vows are is when the couple are usually the most nervous. Practise how they will be holding hands and looking at each other. Will they be repeating their vows, or will they be reading vows to each other? Rehearse how this will be staged.
Who will have the rings? There may be one ring bearer holding both rings, or two ring bearers, one with the bride’s ring and one with the groom’s ring. The ring bearer/s can rehearse bringing the rings forward.
Is the signing to be a sub-ceremony? If so, what will the rest of the wedding party do during the signing? Will they gather around the signing table, or will they stand to the side? Are there any tips for the signing, for example, who will sign first? (Usually one party sign the three certificates of marriage, then the other party, then the first witness, the second witness, and finally the celebrant signs all three certificates.)
If it is your practice to ask the audience to applaud the wedding party at this stage, then the wedding party can be told this will happen. Only the marrying couple have usually seen the ceremony script.
Practise how the ceremony will end. Do the marrying couple plan to walk down the aisle to music? Or will they remain where they are, and their parents and grandparents be invited to come forward to congratulate them? Will any guest, such as a grandparent, be in a wheelchair? Their needs should be considered.
During the rehearsal, are there parts of the ceremony that you identify should be brought to the particular attention of the photographer? For example, is there a sub-ceremony involving children for a blending of two families which involves a circle and/or a family hug?
Where will you stand during the ceremony? Will you stand behind the marrying couple, or will you stand to the side with your microphone? Do you use a lectern? Do you need to change position during the ceremony, that is, move behind the couple during the vows and/or exchange of wedding rings?
Will the ceremony conclude with a toast? If so, ensure the person in charge knows where to set a table up and what to do: when to pour champagne, and when to serve. The toast proposer will need to be asked to wait until everyone has a glass before beginning the toast.
Did you test the volume of music and your speaking volume for when you deliver the ceremony? Did someone stand at the outermost area where guests are likely to gather to ensure they could hear you?
Is Uncle Bob or a professional videographer going to video the ceremony? If so, where will a tripod be placed? Will it interfere with where the professional videographer or photographer position themselves?
Will the photographer attend the rehearsal? This is a great opportunity to work together if there are decisions to be made or advice given about special rituals. However, during the ceremony the photographer should not intrude into your space; you are in control of the ceremony, not any other wedding provider.
During the rehearsal (even though it’s not your job), did you advise the wedding party to always look at the professional photographer when they are aiming the camera at them, and not look over at Aunty Jean who is calling out for them to look at her? Many group photographs have been ruined because this happens, when one or two of the wedding party are looking elsewhere instead of at the official photographer’s camera.
If an outdoor venue, have the couple checked that there is no other event scheduled nearby which could be disruptive and noisy?
If the weather is doubtful for an outdoor ceremony, confirm a time that you will liaise with either the marrying couple to confirm the venue so that you can prepare the Form 15 Certificate of Marriage with the correct details. You cannot make an error on this certificate. (Many celebrants take a blank Form 15 to ceremonies as a back-up).
It the venue is a national park, check if there any restrictions on items you can take such as audio equipment. Were the couple required to obtain a permit (or licence) to hold their ceremony? If so, did they obtain the permit? Did the permit place a time limit on access? Rangers are not known to be sympathetic if conditions of the permit are breached, and fines may be imposed.
As a result of decisions made at the rehearsal, do you need to contact anyone such as another wedding provider?
At every rehearsal there are unforeseen problems and often decisions have to be made. The bride may have planned to make her entrance from a certain direction, but at the rehearsal she realises that it would be completely impractical, and a change is decided. You need to use your excellent organisational and leadership skills to conduct a wedding rehearsal, while at the same time respecting the excitement and nervousness of all participants.
Rehearsals; to have them or not to have them
How to make a great ceremony without a rehearsal
Ceremony design process
Print legal paperwork
Now that the marriage certificates have been checked by the couple, and the celebrant has made any amendments, they can go right ahead and print them out. Remember to record the Form 15 number on the Record of Use Form.
Attend and perform the wedding ceremony
Before leaving home
The day of the ceremony can be a stressful time for new celebrants; there’s a lot to remember to take, let alone any nervousness about performing the ceremony. Celebrants could use a checklist to ensure they’ve packed everything they need and haven’t forgotten anything. That will alleviate some of the concern.
A professional celebrant will ensure their personal presentation is of an appropriate standard for the marriage ceremony and respect the expectations of the parties in relation to the ceremony. Celebrants may ask the couple if they want them to wear a certain colour or abide by a certain theme. All celebrants need to have a range of clothing suitable for different types of ceremonies to meet the expectations of clients. It is better to err on the side of formality rather than ‘dressing down’. I always aim to look like a conservatively-dressed guest.
Arriving at the ceremony venue
Upon arrival at the ceremony venue (I like to arrive an hour before the planned ceremony start time) there are a number of things for the celebrant to do:
Survey the scene. Does any rubbish need to be removed? Is the venue safe? Is there any risk of someone being harmed? Is there a potential emergency to be resolved?
Place the PA system so that equipment isn’t in photos. I usually put mine on the opposite side of the ceremony space to the signing table. Set up the microphone, certificates for signing, signing pen, whatever you want to read your ceremony from, and the music if you’re controlling it.
Check whether any adjustments need to be made to the equipment in the ceremony space, e.g. moving chairs to widen aisle, or closer or further away from where wedding party will stand.
Ensure the signing table is well placed for best effect.
If there is to be candle lighting or other types of rituals, ensure these are set up as arranged, including matches or lighting wand.
Meet significant people – other suppliers (particularly the venue staff, photographer and videographer) wedding party, and parents of the parties.
It’s always useful to check in with the venue staff and find out if there are any idiosyncrasies in the way they run ceremonies on the day, and to find out who will give you the cue that the wedding party is ready to begin the processional.
It’s also useful to talk to the photographer and videographer and let them know the general structure of the ceremony and whether there’s anything out of the ordinary, e.g. the bridesmaids are going to enter on camels, or there’s going to be an interesting cultural ritual they may not have experienced before.
Check that any wedding party members who are to stand at the altar during the processional have arrived, and that they look neat and tidy. Ask them to remove their sunglasses at least 20 minutes before the ceremony so their eyes have time to adjust to the light, otherwise all the photos will be full of squinting faces.
Check the ring bearer actually has the rings. Always do this before the ceremony so there’s time to go and get them if they’ve been forgotten.
Speak to readers. Show them the card you’ve printed the reading on, make sure they know where to stand and how to hold the microphone.
If you are not controlling the music, meet the person who will be. Give them a quick lesson in how to play the music and fade it out, and explain to them the cue you will give them for the start and end of the songs.
If the music is to be played live, meet the musicians. It is important to liaise with them about when music is to start and stop. Musicians like to finish playing a particular segment of music before stopping, and they appreciate it when celebrants don’t talk over them. It may only take a few more seconds to end a segment.
If an interpreter is to be used for the ceremony, ensure that they sign the prescribed statutory declaration confirming they will act as the interpreter and can converse in both languages. If not already done, ensure the interpreter can competently interpret the monitum and legal vows from English into the foreign language and from the foreign language back into English. Ensure the interpreter knows where to stand during the ceremony.
If approached by anyone, answer questions.
When the party or parties participating in the processional arrive, go and meet them. Make sure they’re happy and comfortable, encourage them if they’re nervous, and provide any last instructions.
My preference is not to gather the guests together until I know the parties participating in the processional are ready to go; I don’t want the other party (if applicable) standing around feeling awkward with everyone watching them wondering where their partner is.
The ceremony
Start by ensuring all the seats are filled; people are always reluctant to sit down at a wedding, but empty seats look terrible in photos, so make sure someone is sitting in every chair.
Deliver your housekeeping script and await your cue for the processional to start.
When the wedding party are ready to proceed, a pre-arranged signal is given to you or the person looking after the music or the musicians to begin playing the music, and the processional begins.
Once the marrying parties are standing next to each other and the music has faded to a stop, the ceremony begins.
Deliver the ceremony script professionally with a smile, using effective body language and sincerity.
Celebrants should step aside when the ‘kiss’ photos are taken.
It is helpful to be consistent when organising signing. The same pen should be used by all parties, preferably black. The only other colour acceptable on official documents is blue but I recommend black. One party should sign first and sign all three certificates of marriage using the same signature with which they signed the NOIM. The other party then does the same. The first witness signs next, signing all three certificates with their usual signature. The other witness then does the same. The celebrant then signs and completes all three certificates of marriage.
The wedding party regroups and the final words to complete the ceremony are spoken.
Ensure you make your housekeeping statements and blessing before presenting the newly-married couple; once you’ve presented the newlyweds, there will be cheers and applause and no one will listen to anything else you say.
Once a ceremony has ended, everyone is relaxed and begins celebrating.
Ensure the parties are given their Form 15 Certificate of marriage, or that you give it to a pre-arranged responsible person. The certificate cannot be replaced, even if it becomes damaged or lost after the ceremony.
If an interpreter was used, ensure they immediately complete and give you the Certificate of Faithful Performance by Interpreter.
A professional photographer may give the couple a few minutes to unwind and be congratulated before resuming the business of taking photos.
Pack up your paperwork and equipment, say your goodbyes, and depart.
What do I read my ceremonies from?
iPad celebrants, you need this tip
Vow and ring exchange logistics
Where I stand during the ceremony. Sarah’s view
Developing your own ceremony performance style – Sarah’s view
Which iPad and which apps do you recommend for celebrants?
Comparing a Josh wedding ceremony and a Sarah ceremony
Getting the guests to obey you
How to say the monitum with warmth
The Celebrant Talk Show: It’s the Mabo of the thing, 44:35
Extreme weather situations and concerns (WHS issues)
It is not uncommon for a planned outdoor ceremony (plan A) to be forced to relocate indoors (plan B) because of bad weather. No one has control over the weather. There should always be a plan B when a ceremony is planned to take place outside. If there is doubt about the weather, the celebrant will need to liaise with one of the parties on the morning of the wedding to ascertain where the wedding will be held and a time by which the celebrant needs to know. The celebrant may still need to print the Form 15 marriage certificate with the correct address for the venue. The place of solemnisation can be added later on both OCMs; the address doesn’t need to be inserted on those certificates before the ceremony. A celebrant doesn’t have any obligation to use their PA system if there is a likelihood it will be harmed due to bad weather, e.g. rain or strong winds which could blow dust or sand into the PA’s mechanisms.
What if there are problems within the ceremony?
If a rehearsal has been held and participants are confident with their roles, then there shouldn’t be any difficulties within a ceremony. But of course things don’t always go according to plan:
The music may mistakenly start too soon because a wave or other movement has been misinterpreted as the cue to begin.
Children can misbehave.
A guest who has begun ‘celebrating’ far too soon might become noisy and disruptive.
A groomsman who has been standing in a dark suit in the heat waiting for the wedding party to arrive may become dehydrated and faint.
Wind might blow papers away.
If the ceremony is held in a public park, members of the public or children riding bikes may wander among the guests.
There may be unexpected interruptions.
However, Robert Fulghum, author and philosopher, says that nothing can ruin a wedding day if the spirit is right. Celebrants often need to ‘think on their feet’ to defuse unexpected situations while at the same time appearing relaxed and smiling. If you appear stressed, then your anxiety will be passed on to others. It may be beneficial to think of some situations where things may go wrong, and what you would do in those circumstances. You will work through some difficult scenarios with your celebrant mentor.
Unexpected failure of power or equipment
In the event of a power failure, the most likely equipment to stop working will be your PA system. You have no control over a power failure, but you should ensure all batteries are fully charged. You can buy devices to check how well batteries are charged, and you can also visit battery specialists to have the main battery checked from time to time as they have a limited life expectancy, despite them appearing to be fully charged. Without a working PA, the celebrant can only do their best to make themselves heard. It would be disappointing for the parties if their chosen music cannot be played.
Follow up after the wedding
The day after the wedding I email the couple congratulating them, telling them to wait until I let them know it’s time to apply for their official marriage certificate (or that I’ve applied for it on their behalf), asking for photos of the ceremony, asking for them to review me on Facebook or send me any feedback, and asking if I can publish their personal vows on my blog.
Next day follow-up email
Get testimonies that matter
Although I now order the official marriage certificate from BDM when I register their marriage, before we were able to do that I would send them a second follow-up email when the Victorian BDM online system told me their marriage was registered; this email would give them instructions on how to order their official marriage certificate and instructions on how to change their name (through links to posts on my blog).
Advice for couples re name changes after marriage
Send documents to BDM for registration of the marriage
After the marriage ceremony has been completed, I go home and complete page 4 of the NOIM (date, venue, rites, sign, add A number). Within 14 days the completed marriage documents are to be sent to the BDM in the state or territory in which the marriage was solemnised for the marriage to be registered (s50), that is the NOIM, DONLIM and OCM printed back-to-back, and any other documents required (e.g. statutory declaration, interpreter document, consent for marriage of a minor, court order etc.) I retain the second copy of the OCM and Record of Use Form.
I do not send a cover letter with the documents to BDM as they don’t like cover letters unless there’s something you specifically need to tell them about the documentation or marriage; it’s just another piece of paper for them to deal with.
I use the online BDM registration system for submitting my documents now, but when I was posting documents to BDM, I always scanned a copy of the NOIM, DONLIM and OCM before putting them in the post them to BDM, just in case they get lost in the mail.
That’s it! You may like to undertake some marketing activities around the wedding, for example a post on social media or an article on your blog. Make sure you evaluate your performance and the way you managed the client relationship. On to the next one.
Posting pro photos on social media etiquette
What does Queensland BDM email people after their marriage is registered?
What happens if we don’t submit the official marriage certificate to BDM within two weeks?
A modern day version of the busy café getting busier
BDM RIO video transcript
### We have changed membership systems
Just a quick note for members of the Celebrant Institute, your membership management, updating of cards, changing plans, logging in, and just using it, has become a whole lot easier.
It's involved four weeks of work on my behalf to finally figure out how to move everyone from our old system, Membermouse, to our new system, Memberful, but we did it.
We changed system because
About half of you weren't actually paying for your membership because of a Membermouse bug
If we wanted to do cool things like the giving everyone two free months of membership through COVID with the old system it was literally a few days work. Giving everyone two months membership actually cost us way more than I imagined.
Whenever you needed to change credit card, or if you wanted to change from monthly to annual membership to save some money, it was so much work.
So now it's done.
You'll notice a few little cosmetic changes to the website, but some members may need to:
Enter or update credit card details
Reset passwords
Or re-join completely
Hopefully those three options are fairly clear to you, but if they aren't, you've got our email address.
### Form 15 Record of Use in Excel
(Sorry for the radio silence on my behalf - I've been answering members' questions, but otherwise frantically working on all things Life Skills Training, which hasn't left much time for writing blog posts!)
As we all know, celebrants are required to keep a record of how we use the Form 15s that are registered to our A number by CanPrint. The paper forms come with the packs of Form 15s when we buy them, and most people fill out those paper forms and then have to store them for six years from the date of the last activity noted on them.
Since my first year as a celebrant I've been keeping an Excel spreadsheet instead of the paper Record of Use forms. I was never entirely sure if this was allowed, but a more experienced celebrant told me that they did it, and I thought it sounded much easier. My Excel spreadsheet has all the same columns as a regular Record of Use form, but I just have one long document with all my Form 15s ever used listed in it. I figured if I ever got audited by the Attorney-General's Department and they told me this wasn't okay, I'd plead ignorance.
A few weeks ago I decided I needed to stop doing that and just ask the damn question :) So I wrote to MLCS as follows:
I know the online environment fact sheet states that we are allowed to store the Form 15 Record of Use form electronically, but I'm wondering how far that goes.
Does it mean that we need to complete the paper version that comes with the packs of Form 15s, and then we can scan it and store it electronically?
Or does it mean we could, for example, create an Excel spreadsheet with all the same columns as the paper Record of Use form, and record all Form 15 usage on that?
And I got an extremely useful response (for a change):
The Marriage Regulations 2017 does not prescribe the form that must be used, only the details that must be recorded. Celebrants must record the following details on the record-keeping form:
their name and registration number
the serial number on the certificate
the date they used the certificate - date to be recorded is the date the celebrant used the certificate in any way
how the certificate was used, for example completing the certificate and giving the certificate to a marrying couple at their wedding was given to them, or, if the certificate was spoiled and had to be destroyed , or, if the celebrant transferred the certificate to another celebrant.
A celebrant may record this information on a spreadsheet or word document. Alternatively they can scan a completed Form 15 Record of use form to keep the records electronically.
So yay that's awesome! And just because I'm feeling generous and happy about this news, I'm giving away my Record of Use spreadsheet template for free. Just download it right here:
Cert of Marriage Record of Use
### How to make a wedding expo work for you
10 ways to make wedding fairs, wedding directories, wedding blogs, wedding magazines, expos, and virtual wedding fairs, work for you.
Stop thinking as you think, stop thinking like a wedding vendor, and start thinking like a couple getting married and how they are using the fair/expo/website. Imagine how they are feeling, what they actually want, how many things can they remember, and how can you make their day easier? Tip: people don't want to save money, they want to have an epic wedding and not waste money.
Think about what medium would work best for this blog/expo/thing. Does an essay do the job, or do you need to record a video? You need to play to the crowd, don't bring your tried and true hits. Every forum for marketing has its strengths and weaknesses, so play to them.
The simple fact at a wedding fair/directory/magazine is that you're in a lineup. So think about how you will look in that lineup, and how can you look different.
Get outside opinions. There's a reason we have mirrors in our bathrooms: because we can't see ourselves, and even in a mirror the image is flipped. Find someone who can and will give you valuable and honest feedback on how your business presentation looks, particularly in the lineup. Tip: this person is likely not going to be a friend or family member.
Brand yourself so well, and so simply, that even a five year old knows who you are and what you do. Make it big, obvious, and clear. Your name. What you do. In as few words as possible.
Once your brand is communicated, the next step is to communicate your value. Not your price or fee or packages or deals or offers. Your value. If I choose you, what value do I receive, and then consider, does that value matter to me, the potential coupe hiring you.
Have a 'what's next' step. Design a customer journey, so everyone knows what the next steps are. Make them clear. Click here, sign this, pay that. Make the customer journey as clear as clean glass.
Finally, know that this whole game is a long play. Decisions you make for your business today, and marketing efforts you outlay today, have a 12-18 month tail. I still get bookings today from events I did two years ago.
Build a brand, not a booking. Let your reputation precede you, have a backbone, be known for standing for something.
If you do all that, and in 18 months you've got no bookings, then I'll give you your money back for reading this free social media post.
### Look out for a zero dollar invoice for the annual celebrant charge
The Attorney-General's department has let us know that they are starting to send out those $0 annual celebrant charge invoices today. Make sure you pay that $0 quickly otherwise you'll be in $0 debt, and the interest on that will be expensive.
Here's what they've told us:
The celebrant registration charge notices are being sent out to celebrants today. As you are all aware the charge has been set to $0 for 2020-21. We are required to send the notice in accordance with the Marriage Act. Celebrants are not required to take any further action in relation to the notice and will remain registered for 2020-21. The value of the charge will be re-assessed for the 2021-22 financial year.
### New South Wales' Uppercase Requirement
If you've been lucky enough to create a marriage ceremony recently, and it was in New South Wales, you might have noticed a change to their eRegistry software that requires all last names to be in UPPERCASE.
If you're like me, you know this, but still type the names in Title Case when using the NSW BDM.
So if you're using a Mac, here's a tip. Right click on the selected text, in the context menu that appears, choose "Transformations", and then "Make Upper Case".
### We’ll do it live!
My friend, and article writing accountability partner, Jeremy asks:
You mentioned in a previous podcast you would put up a post about how you live stream a wedding and what tools you use to do so. You still planning to put this up, mate?
In the words of the somewhat-great, Bill O’Reilly, if everyone can’t be at a wedding, we’ll do it live.
Live streaming has a number of tiers of quality, in my humble opinion.
The lowest tier is that regardless of video and audio quality - we’re live.
The next tier up is low quality video and audio, but on a good internet connection.
The next tier up has better audio.
And the top tier has great video.
So let’s approach it like this:
Step 1: Good internet
If you can’t get full 4G service on your mobile device, or if there is wifi available then that’s great too, my recommendation is to simply record the ceremony then upload it to Youtube afterward.
Good upload speeds allows the video and audio to get from the ceremony to the streaming provider (Youtube or Facebook, or other) without interruption. So get the Speedtest app on your device and test out the internet speed at the location before the day if possible.
Step 2: Average audio
Average audio quality means the ceremony can be heard, but maybe it’s not great. Unless a smartphone is going to be held 1-2 metres from the ceremony, without wind or background noise, you’re going to need some kind of shotgun or directional microphone attached to your phone.
Step 3: Above average audio
Good audio means getting wirelessly transmitted audio from the ceremony, either via a handheld microphone, or a wireless lapel microphone like the Rode Wireless Go, into the device doing the streaming - whether it’s a phone, laptop, or professional camera.
Step. 4: Average video
Average video means the ceremony can be seen, but maybe it’s not great. This probably means you’re using an iPad/iPhone/Andoid phone, or worst case, a laptop webcam, to transmit the video. The cameras on these devices are fine, but there’s a reason you don’t see professional videographers using their laptop webcam to record weddings.
Step 5: Above average video
Good video quality probably means a professional camera, I use a Sony A6400 with an appropriate lens on it. Appropriate lenses come from knowing your camera, something that can’t really be taught in this kind of article.
Step 6: Getting it online in ok quality
This is vernally about opening up the Facebook or Youtube app on the phone and choosing the Live option. Please make sure the phone is on it’s side, aka in landscape mode.
Step 7: Getting it all into the internet in above average quality
So the best case scenario sees you getting wireless audio from a handheld or lapel microphone, into a professional camera that can see the ceremony beautifully, and it has HDMI out.
Now that the camera can see and hear the ceremony well, you output from the HDMI port of the camera into a HDMI capture device for a laptop, like a Blackmagic or Elgato device, and the live video and audio is available as a webcam feed.
You’ll open up Facebook or Youtube, and choose the Live option, choose that camera, and you’re on
There’s a reason video is a profession
In short, there’s a good reason videography and live streaming is a profession, because it’s hard work, and overly technical. I’ve barely scratched the surface on the service, and luckily for me, it’s the kind of stuff I’m familiar with.
But if you have any direct questions about gear or techniques, jump in the comments and let me know.
### Creating an intimate ceremony, and including kids
A reader asks:
I am officiating my cousin's wedding next month and this is a particularly special one. It is going to be very intimate and relaxed - it's also really important as my cousin was actually diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer this year (fk cancer!) and it's really important to me to put together a really beautiful ceremony, but also one that is relaxed and casual just like their style! I was doing some research and wanted to find some nice ideas on how to include kids in the ceremony - they've both been married previously and are a blended family. I've mentioned how they can write special vows for their step children, or have a community vow - but i am very open to other ideas too - just nothing that is too 'traditional'. I've never performed such a small and intimate ceremony before so was wondering if you had any advice for me - also with these special circumstances, we want to keep this a really positive celebration of their relationship but just wondering if you both had any experience with someone going through this and if there was anything different they included - i absolutely know it really comes down to the individual couple and what they want to include but just interested to know how you would approach this.
Including kids
My two rules for including kids in marriage ceremonies is to:
Keep everyone’s expectations low, they are kids, not paid actors, so in the end we need to be content with them doing whatever they want to do and possibly the complete opposite of what we’d hope for.
Keep it simple and meaningful. We need to be able to communicate the involvement to the kids, and kids have no time for token involvement or involvement ‘just because’. So whether it’s a reading, or carrying something, you need to be able to explain it to a five year old.
Outside of those rules, there are a handful of cute childrens books that make great readings, I like the Lovely Dinosaur, and Dr Seuss’ Oh The Places You’ll Go. I’ve seen some kids make a speech of sorts at a ceremony, a few words of their own that they’ve written, and other kids I’ve seen the parent/s give them something.
Ultimately you want to play to everyone’s strengths, yours, the couple’s, and the children’s.
Advice on intimate ceremonies
Intimate ceremonies are my favourite, and for an odd reason: because they are much more work.
Your standard fare traditional size wedding ceremony is often more like a steam train that’s left the station. There’s a whole lot of momentum behind it and as the celebrant I feel like I simply need to kind-of harness it.
A small intimate ceremony with no, or few, guests is beautiful, but a lot more work, because you have to bring the momentum.
For a practising celebrant I find it to be so beneficial for our craft because we have to think about how it feels, looks, and sounds, in a whole new way.
My personal rules for an intimate ceremony is to try and not use a PA system unless necessary, and to try and create a family-like atmosphere. I’ll not read from notes or a script, but approach the situation like I am merely creating an opportunity for everything else - the vows, and maybe a reading, or child involvement - to take place. I take more of an MC role.
How to keep it positive
And as far as keeping it positve, I would forget that goal, and simply try and acknowledge the reality of what’s in front of all of us, without making it negative. Everyone there knows what the situation is, so to avoid it is ignorance, but to dwell on it might sink the ship.
It’s ok to be sad sometimes, and it’s ok to be happy. Neither should be forced, instead, embraced and celebrated.
### Sending ceremony recordings instead of written drafts - a new idea!
Recently I was teaching an OPD session on ceremony writing. One of the newer celebrants noted she was a bit nervous about sending written draft ceremonies to her clients because she knows she writes very differently from the way she speaks, and she was concerned that if they read the words on the page, they might not understand how they would change when they were delivered on the day, with all her personality and inflection injected into them.
I started to tell her how important it was to learn to write the way you speak when I had an idea: what if, instead of sending them a written draft that they might read in a totally different way to how it was to be delivered, she recorded herself "performing" the ceremony just as she was planning to on the day, with all the pauses, vocal inflections, and personality included, and sent them the recording? The couple would still have the opportunity to check if there was anything they didn't like, but they wouldn't be correcting spelling or grammar issues, or getting caught up in the framing of individual words. Instead they would understand how the ceremony was supposed to sound, which could be very different from their reading of it.
I'm putting it out there for discussion: do you think this could work? I know I write very much the way I speak so it's not something I've really considered before (people often comment that they can hear me saying it in their head as they're reading my words), but I wonder if I've accidentally stumbled upon something incredible! What do you all think?
### Luna's debut on the podcast
Legal help, cancellations thanks to COVID-19, OPD over Zoom update, how to become a travelling celebrant, and how to get audio to videographers, all in this podcast episode with Sarah and Josh.
### How to become a travelling celebrant
Alinta asks:
I am going to take up the gypsy/not-yet-too-grey nomad life for a year or so and I wonder if it would be possible to be a sort of travelling celebrant? We will be travelling in a substantial caravan and aren't intending to be too structured about our timing so that we can follow our hearts and interests... Any thoughts or suggestions on if this would work?
One of the unmovable things about the wedding industry, is that as a wedding vendor you are being booked for someone’s wedding.
As small or as large as it could be, it’s one couple’s important and valuable day.
So trying to get those same people who’s wedding is the only wedding in existence as far as they’re concerned, to bend to your will is hard.
But if I was trying to take up the gypsy lifestyle, here’s what I’d do:
Invest a lot of work, effort, and money into identifying what kind of celebrant I am, and what kind of people would book me. It’s about figuring out what makes you different, because celebrants who are aware of, and market to, their differences, are the ones who are in demand. It’s about having a communicable point of difference that enough people would care about.
Set some firm travel dates. The gypsy lifestyle is great, but wedding clients need some kind of assurance that you will be available for their wedding in a certain location. If I was doing a year of travel, I’d plan for a region per month. Mayne January in Tasmania, February in the Adelaide region, and so on.
Publish a simple guide. With those dates I’d publish a simple page on my website and brand it nicely, letting people know where you’ll be and when.
Go hard on social media. With all of that information and the travel page on your website I would start telling this story on social media. Not only the story of your travel, but the story of your difference. Own it and start booking.
### Getting ceremony audio to videographers
Maria asks:
Hi Josh, you’ve mentioned you record the audio during your ceremonies to give to the videographer if they choose for better audio. Firstly, what equipment do you use and how do you hook it up and secondly, do you use it for any other purpose other than to help with the videographer?
A secret weapon of mine is trying to be the glue that brings a wedding together for awesomeness. I can’t do it all, but if I can do a few small things that really help everyone out, then maybe people will think good of me, maybe they leave good reviews, and if they are wedding vendors, then maybe they refer me or look forward to working with me again.
So with videographers, I know I can help them with audio. Audio is hard work for even the most professional videographers. If you’re working on a feature film then videographers don’t even deal with audio, it’s a completely separate skill set.
So I firstly offer to them that whatever they need I’m ok with. Wherever they need to go, or whatever they need to plug in to, I’m ok with. Personally I’d rather be covered in ants than have a lapel mic wired up to me, but if they need to then that’s ok. Allegedly most celebrants have issue with videographers plugging into their PA system, but let it be known that if you have taken the effort to learn how your PA system works then you should be ok with videographers taking audio out. If the videographer is taking audio from the “out” plug of your PA system (commonly called Line Out, or 2 Track Out) then they cannot affect issues with your PA. It’s more likely that your PA system is old or you’re not using it properly.
Secondly, and this is more what Maria is asking about, I use a Sennheiser G4 Evolution wireless microphone system. The difference between many microphone systems and the Sennheiser Evolution range is that you can have one transmitter (the microphone held in your hand) and many receivers (the bit you plug into your PA system). It works a little bit like a radio station, your microphone is sending the signal out (containing your voice) and then whoever is tuned into that channel can pick up the “station.”
So I own four receivers, one for each of my two speakers (Bose S1’s), one for my own camera (I’ll get to that in a second) and one for the videographer. This wireless receiver for the videographer gives them the cleanest audio from my microphone they could hope for. It removes any “middle men” from the process and gets them the audio without having to worry about my PA system or any special leads or anything.
I’ll try and communicate to the videographer ahead of the day that I have this setup. The most common thing a videographer will do with the wireless receiver I give them is put it on one of their cameras and get the audio straight into the video recording so that saves them having to match audio to video later on, so we’re saving time in their edit as well ... and you just made a best friend in a videographer.
All good systems have backups, the old saying is “one is none and two is one”, so I also set up my Sony A6400 still and video camera to record the ceremony on top of what the videographer does. This camera has my fourth wireless receiver attached to it. This gives me five advantages:
A video recording for myself, with great audio, so I can review the ceremony and become a better celebrant after cringing for half an hour trying to watch myself back.
A video recording for the couple to share with people who couldn’t make it, a popular value add that couples love.
A video recording I can cut up into little pieces, or bites, to share as social media content.
A backup video recording for the videographer.
A backup audio recording for the videographer.
So in the end, this whole setup requires you to put in the hard work and understand how audio works, how wireless microphone systems work, how your PA system works, and how semi-pro video cameras work, but the payoffs are wide ranging and more than worth it.
If you’re interested in learning more about the last paragraph, I might consider doing an in-person workshop to get nerdy for a day if anyone is interested.
### Should I become a celebrant? Words to an aspirational celebrant
I met one of my neighbours this morning and he mentioned he was becoming a celebrant soon so he could marry two friends who are getting married soon.
I gave him the spiel I give anyone and everyone becoming a new celebrant, but I thought it’d be something worth putting down in a blog post, and hopefully if you’re a hopefully future celebrant then this can be an encouragement to you too.
Please become a great celebrant
There are enough average celebrants, more than enough below average celebrants, so if you’re going to do the Certificate IV and put all the effort into an application, building your brand and business, and actually becoming a celebrant, please become a great celebrant.
Please become a celebrant who gives a shit about marriage, about your couples’ getting married, about how their marriage ceremony can be and should be the best part of their wedding.
Please become a celebrant that somehow magically is the highlight of the event whilst never actually being the highlight, but making the couple the highlight. Be that magical combo of being the person who makes the ceremony the best ceremony ever, whilst also being kind of invisible, like the puppeteers in a broadway show, anonymous talents wearing black from head to toe, the ones who actually made the show, but you won’t find their names on the poster.
Please become an educated celebrant
The art of celebrancy requires far more than a Certificate IV in Celebrancy, but to become a celebrant you need a Certificate IV. I’d be a fool if I recommended any other RTO over the Celebrant Institute RTO for a Certificate IV in Celebrancy, and not just because its CEO is my co-founder of the Celebrant Institute, but also because I meet students trained at other RTOs and so many are not equipped to be a celebrant. Over 75% of celebrants who have done the Certificate IV responded to a survey saying they felt unprepared after completing their Certificate IV.
The Cert IV in Celebrancy is hard, some would say too hard, but it’s your opportunity to become equipped as a celebrant, so the Celebrant Institute RTO is where I think you should train. As an added bonus, I help Sarah with the more nerdy and techie elements of the RTO so you might even get to see my face on a Zoom call.
Even after the Certificate IV immerse yourself in becoming a better celebrant. That’s the whole goal of this website, the Celebrant Institute, a place where we pursue the greater extents of celebrancy, plus it’s a place for you to ask and learn.
Please become a celebrant
The wedding industry deserves a wide and diverse range of celebrants. Celebrants of different genders; celebrants from different ethnic backgrounds and different cultures; celebrants of different religious, faith, and philosophical traditions; celebrants that have different styles and methods.
Please become a celebrant that makes the industry proud, that makes your couples proud, and make your parents proud.
There’s more than enough room in our ranks for talented, skilled, and diverse celebrants so please come and join us.
How to become a celebrant
Becoming a celebrant is easy:
Step one: you simply study the Certificate IV in Celebrancy … complete it of course … and I’d budget 12 months for that study.
Step two: gather two references and prepare yourself for a police check as you apply to the Attorney-Generals’ office. The application comes at a $600 cost.
Step three: wait for your application to be processed, mine took 12 months but these days it’s more like three months, but you kind of just have to wait. That’s why it’s important to not book weddings until you are registered because there’s no promise as to how long it takes.
During this application process you’re welcome to access the Celebrant Institute aspirational celebrant membership, it’s a special one year membership for aspirational celebrants, one year’s membership at the cost of one month, join here.
Step four: When you’re anointed by the celebrancy gods, the AGD, you’re welcome to start your business, and that’s where we help out, and we’d love to have you as a member.
### Annual fee waived!
I'm pretty excited to let our members know that we've just received the following email from the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section of the Attorney-General's Department:
Dear celebrant associations
I am writing to advise you that the Attorney-General has agreed to set the celebrant registration charge for 2020-21 at $0.
The charge is a legislative requirement so celebrants will still receive the registration notice after 1 July. However there will be no invoice to pay.
Setting the charge to $0 will be for 2020-21 only. A decision will be made prior to July 2021, in accordance with the cost recovery guidelines, as to what the amount will be for 2021-22.
Regards
Bridget Quayle
Registrar of Marriage Celebrants
So no fee for this year! We'll still receive a registration notice after 1 July but there won't be any invoice to pay.
Of course this is only for 2020-2021 and a different decision will likely be made next year, but for now I know this will be a weight off a lot of celebrants' minds.
### How to video chat really well
Video chat, video conferencing, Skyping, Facetiming, or now, Zooming, is going to be a fairly major way we communicate through this season and into the future.
I see lots of people on Zoom calls not bringing their A-game to the call.
The reason presenting yourself well on a video call matters is because in that online video chat environment we’ve already lost a few of our primary senses from the human interaction, smell, taste, and touch. That leaves our sight and hearing. In the same way that someone without hearing or sight will say that their other senses are heightened, in a video call, we’re missing the hug we might have started the interaction with. We haven’t had a chance to buy each other a drink, or shake hands, or simply see our smiles and smell our perfume, and feel at home together.
So let’s make the visual and the audible sensory experience as good as our tools and technology allows us to.
1. Use headphones
Using headphones, even the cheap headphones that came with your mobile phone are better than nothing. Headphones gives the call a fighting chance of sounding good to all parties.
This is about isolating your microphone from the audio coming out of the speakers, so the microphone hearing your voice is only listening to your voice, and not the voices of everyone else on the video chat. Modern video conferencing software like Zoom puts a lot of work into removing the other callers’ audio from your voice feed.
2. Try a better microphone than the one in your laptop
If you’re lucky, the headphones you just picked up, like Apple EarPods or AirPods also have a microphone on them then that’s a double win because they bring the microphone closer to your mouth.
If you want to get super nerdy you can buy a pro mic like a Rode NT-Mini like the one I’m using here, or a great starter microphone is the ATR2100-USB many podcasters recommend. There’s even a new USB-C model.
The ideal position for most microphones is as close to your mouth as possible.
3. The rule of thirds
Look at yourself in your computers webcam preview and imagine that the image is split into thirds, and move the camera/laptop lid so that your eyes are on the top third line. This will ensure that your image is easy to view for everyone else on the chat, plus the webcam and video compression is optimised for this kind of positioning so you’ll look as natural and pleasant as possible.
4. Lighting
Let the light in. Simply put, light up your face, and let the webcam see your lit up face.
If there’s a window in your room, position your computer and webcam so you’re seated looking outside the window, that way the light is on your face and the camera can see you easily.
If there’s no windows in your room, try and position yourself so ceiling lights, and desk or floor lamps, are all behind the computer, so the webcam has a fighting chance of exposing for your face and not a light behind your face.
The idea is that the your face has light on it and what’s behind you has less light on it.
5. Eye contact
With those other senses all turned off, we’re left with only a few signals that we are engaged and interested in the call.
One of the biggest signals of that kind of attention has always been eye contact, yet on a video call we have never been less able to make eye contact.
It’s because the people we are looking to, are usually in the middle of our screen, but the camera, the one picking up our eyes, is on the top or side of the screen.
Here’s an example from my iPad, one is me looking at the people I’m talking to, and one is me looking at the camera. Which one seems like I’m interested?
Early releases of iOS from 2019 had a feature where FaceTime would alter your eyes when it detected that that you were looking at the centre of the screen instead of the camera. It was actually really cool, but never made it’s way into the public releases.
So until artificial intelligence can make it look like we are looking at our caller’s eyes, try and maintain some eye contact by looking at your camera, instead of the screen.
6. Disable noise cancelling headphones
If you’re rocking a sweet set of noise cancelling headphones, you might find yourself a little bit emotionally disconnected from the call, if only because some of that noice your headphones are cancelling will be your voice, and a natural part of a conversation is not only hearing the people you’re talking to, but also hearing yourself.
Part of the reason I use the Rode NT-Mini is because I plug my headphones into them, click the volume button to enable monitoring, and I turn that volume up, so my own voice is mixed in with the video caller’s voice, so even though I have headphones on, I hear my own voice as well, and I feel a part of the conversation.
7. Lead the conversation
Video calls are still a bit weird, there’s sometimes delays, dropouts, and it’s just missing that hug and cup of coffee we mentioned earlier.
So with the absence of those other things, don’t let the conversation become weird because you didn’t have a plan for where things would go.
No need for it to feel like a corporate board meeting, but in those awkward silences, lead the conversation to where you need it to go.
Before you start the call, in your head or on paper, map out the general two to four places you’d like the call to go, and if there’s a possible call to action, that’s a natural out.
8. Follow up email
I like to take notes in a conference call into an email addressed to all in the call. I start the email before the call begins and put everyone’s email addresses in the to: section, and write a simple email thanking everyone for their time for the call and then just re-stating the dot points we covered and any items that ay of us need to follow up on, or provide info for. That way everyone else feels liberated to immerse themselves in the conversation because I’ve told them I’ll send some notes after the call.
9. Be yourself
I’ll end on this note because it’s an easy one, but something we can all aspire to: just be yourself.
There’s no need to over-perform or be over-excited on the video call.
Bring your best self, but be you, and find methods and rituals you can bring to the call that help you be yourself.
Here’s a weird but simple thing I always prepare, and it’s because I feel like the opening moments of a video call can be a little awkward. So I prepare a story about how some silly little inconvenient thing has ruined my day, so when we all say hello, and they ask how I am, instead of saying “good” I can reply with “Well, I have had the worst day ever. I went to my regular coffee shop and ordered a coffee, a long black with cream, and had great banter with the barista. We’re best mates now. So I leave the coffee shop and I’m halfway home when I take a sip of my coffee and realise that he’s forgotten the cream. So now I’m best mates with an obvious psychopath. Who forgets someone’s cream in a long black?! Worst day ever!” and we all laugh at how silly that is but we’ve also gotten over that initial stumbling block of starting a call.
10. Bonus tip: Use a great camera
This is a much higher tech level than most will go to, but I couldn't let it slip.
I use a setting like the photo below that connects my Sony A6400 to my laptop using an Elgato HD60 S+. So my professional camera is now a webcam!
Photos below of the difference in quality, and also of the setup.
### MLCS & celebrant associations/networks meeting 5 May 2020
I attended the meeting between the Marriage Law & Celebrant Section of the Attorney-General's Department and celebrant associations and networks last Tuesday. It's taken me much longer to write a report for you all than I would usually like, mostly because, well, it was pretty boring. Usually these meetings are face to face and last for about five hours. This one was via teleconference and lasted for one hour and a handful of minutes. So there was much less scope for discussion! Here's a rundown of what was discussed and what it means for us as celebrants...
COVID-19 impacts on celebrants
MLCS is absolutely aware of how much of an impact COVID-19 is having on celebrants, and they appreciate that many celebrants have lost business during this time. It is also having a huge impact on them as a department. As is quite common in governments at times of crisis, a number of MLCS staff have been seconded to other departments to assist with the response, making MLCS remarkably short-staffed. This, plus most of them working from home, is why the MLCS phone line has been shut down (you can call it but the message says don't leave us a message, we won't get it, email us instead), and why it's taking them a bit longer to respond to queries than normal. They have requested that celebrants only put URGENT in the subject line of emails if the issue really is urgent, as in if it relates to a wedding coming up in the next few days. Please don't put urgent on an email that is about a request for your annual fee to be waived or similar.
The combination of these two impacts (less work for celebrants and less staff working in MLCS) means MLCS has provided advice to the Attorney-General that the annual registration fee for celebrants should be decreased this year. It will not be waived altogether, as the fee is paid on a cost recovery basis, meaning that our fee pays for the wages of the MLCS staff. Given there are still staff working, we still need to cover their wages. Celebrants will be advised of the decision the AG makes on how much our fee should be this year before 1 July (and hopefully sooner).
One association asked that MLCS communicate with all celebrants when individual states and territories change their rules around public gatherings and therefore weddings. MLCS noted they would not be doing that, as they are responsible for the Marriage Act only, and the Marriage Act has not changed. As per Josh's great article yesterday, these restrictions are legislated by the state and territory governments, and MLCS will not provide advice on these individual rules. So all we can do is go directly to the source and check our local state or territory government information.
OPD 2020
MLCS appreciates that it's difficult for celebrants to complete their OPD under the current circumstances but confirmed that OPD is a requirement for all celebrants in 2020.
OPD 2021
After the Urbis Review, the public consultation survey in October last year and advice from the associations, MLCS recognises that they need to do further consultation to build an OPD system that works for everyone going forward. They were about to start that consultation when COVID-19 hit. So now that they won't have time to get that done in time for 2021, they've decided to simply extend the current rules (and provider contracts) for another year. In 2021 celebrants will be required to complete five hours of OPD with one of the current OPD providers (which is good news for me with my new acquisition!).
Witnessing the NOIM remotely
Given the current distancing restrictions it can be quite difficult to get a NOIM witnessed. MLCS has put forward a legislative instrument to enable celebrants to witness signatures on a NOIM via video conferencing. So the couple and the celebrant would be on a video conference call, the couple would sign the NOIM with the celebrant watching, then they would email the NOIM to the celebrant, and the celebrant would sign as witness. Mind you, with the restrictions starting to lift around the country, by the time this is in place it probably won't be needed anymore, and it's definitely not going to be something that's in place forever, only for the time of the COVID-19 restrictions.
Forms review
This is still not complete. *sigh* It's only been five and a half years but hey, no rush.
New celebrant applications
Despite the advice from celebrant associations/networks and many individuals, the legal test has been removed from the application process for new celebrants. *sigh* MLCS will rely on completion of the Cert IV in Celebrancy as evidence of knowledge and understanding of the legalities of our role.
However, they have published tips for completing the Notice of Intended Marriage, as well as four scenarios and related completed NOIMs, on the MLCS website both as a resource for celebrants and a resource for couples. You can find these on the AGD website; scroll down on this page.
And that was it! Nothing particularly exciting. Nothing that was news to me personally. But hopefully some of it will be new to some of you!
### What it means when they say that weddings are coming back
There’s a lot of talk about weddings coming back as COVID-19 restrictions are eased. This is not an article about when and what restrictions are being eased, but a reminder as to how Australia works and how to know if weddings are a) allowed or legal, b) when they’re allowed, c) what will be allowed.
This article does remind you though how Australian governance works.
You see, Australia as a nation is a lovely idea, but really, you live in a state. That state, be it Queensland, Victoria, Western Australia, or a constant state of joy, has made a number of decisions as to how certain things are governed. Many things are a state business, and they have then handed many things on to the Commonwealth of Australia for their governance. This article is an oversimplification of a complex structure, so please don’t quote me anywhere.
Basically, Queensland for example, has decided that Policing is a Queensland government concern, but marriage is a Commonwealth government concern. This is extra fun for marriage celebrants, where marriage is a Commonwealth government concern, but the recording of marriage is a Queensland government concern. In a similar fashion, the administration of the marriage celebrants program is a Commonwealth government concern, the administration of businesses in Perth that might do paperwork marriage ceremonies is a Western Australian government concern. So as a marriage celebrant you need to know what parts of your business are a Commonwealth concern and what parts of your business are a state government concern. If you want to take it one step further, you can also enquire as to what role your local government plays in your business, apart from rubbish removal and water supply.
Basically, if the country was a worksite, the states are the contractors doing the actual work, the Commonwealth is kind of like the foreman on a worksite, and the local government is the workplace health and safety officer.
And no, I’m not sure where the territories fall into this metaphor.
So what about COVID-19 restrictions
The main minister of the government in charge of Australia, some might call him the prime guy, the Prime Minister, has a broad calling. He is the leader of the Commonwealth of Australia, well, his party is, and he’s the leader of the party until the party decides otherwise. The PM gets on TV and makes lots of calls about lots of business related to COVID-19 restrictions.
But so many of these restrictions are actually put in place by, and governed by, the state government.
So the Commonwealth government might spruik great ideas like level 1, 2, and 3 easing of the restrictions, but each state and territory actually gets to decide what they do with the Prime Minister’s ideas, and especially for us to note, when that happens, and to what degrees.
The information
I’m not going to mention any dates, levels, numbers, or figures in this article, because the second I publish it they’ll be out of date.
But go to the websites below to get the latest information. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, go to Facebook groups, your friends, don’t call the Attorney-General’s office, don’t call the BDM, do not worry, do not stress. Just look at the information provided on your state’s website and act with that information.
Everyone else, including me, is just making it up if it’s not on the state’s website.
Victoria
NSW
QLD
SA
WA
Tasmania
NT
ACT
What to do with the information
If the state government says you can do a wedding, then you can. If it says how many people can attend, at this stage, if it’s not specified already, I’m guessing that a statement like “10 people can attend a wedding” is exclusionary of the couple and a celebrant, but read the information provided by your state.
My personal read of the situation is that ceremonies with more than two witnesses are not far away for all states, ceremonies with up to 100 people in an outdoor fashion are in the near future, and plain old boring weddings without restrictions are god knows how far away.
Just remember, that at no point through this have you been banned from going to work. Your business as a celebrant is work, and you have not once been banned or stopped from going about your business. You have been advised to stay at home and if you can work from home, then to do that. So stay safe, be wise, leave all the Facebook groups because they’re mostly making us stupider, and go out there and marry someone, to someone else, because you’re really awesome at that!
### Baby Got Backend
Morgan Roberts invited me onto his podcast to talk about the back ends of a business. Systems, Tave, Dubsado, all that really boring and important stuff.
It's worth a listen if automation is a scary word to you.
### When a bushfire ravages a land
I drove through a recently bushfire affected region last week. The ground was still blackened, but not as much as the tree trunks. The foliage and grass that would normally cover the bush floor was slowly achingly coming back to something that resembled life, and those trees that survived, still stood tall.
The stand out from the drive though were the two things flourishing today.
The weeds.
The surviving trees.
I’m guessing the weeds were the first ones in after the fire trucks rolled out. They love abusing the voids in our society, the empty holes, the spare ground, the unused lots. There will always be weeds, in the bush, and in business. We can’t change the weeds, and history tells us that any concerted effort to introduce other species to eradicate weeds, is a plan fraught with danger and failure. The best way to get rid of weeds is to make the rest of the garden/forest/marketplace as healthy as possible because then there’s no room for weeds.
As for the surviving trees though, they were the most impressive displays.
Obviously their trunks were burnt, and their spirits were dampened, but they metaphorically held their breath long enough for the bushfire to burn through and today thanks to their deep roots, and their strong trunks, they had the leaves just inside them ready to spring out back to action when the fires calmed, the rains came, and the sun shone again.
Any efforts to regrow during the bushfire would have just resulted in more burns.
But today those deep rooted, strong trunked, trees are alive with the deepest colours springing out of their leaves.
Be the surviving tree.
Be a part of a healthy forest.
This too shall pass.
### How to marry people overseas
Maria asks:
I am hoping to be able to travel and marry people in other countries so how do I go about doing that? I understand the law is different in each state in the US and of course Canada so is there an easy process to get the legal requirements to marry people overseas?
This is a really easy, and equally, really hard question to answer Maria.
The simple way to approach the question is to look at the sovereign state you are hoping to marry someone in, look at the marriage laws in that place, and identify how the marrying authority, the celebrant, officiant, minister, etc, is appointed.
In Australia marriage law is a commonwealth concern, so the federal marriage law defines who can marry, and how those people are appointed.
In the USA marriage is largely a state legislature issue.
In Hawaii the health department is given the job of looking after marriage, in New York it’s the city clerk.
There’s no easy answers here, but I became ordained in the USA with Open Ministry and that ordination hasn’t failed me yet.
As for other countries, I’ll let you Google it. In British Columbia, the province in Canada, a friend who runs an officiant company there looked after my registration and in New Zealand it looks like any of us could apply, but you need to go through the process and it’s not easy.
Ultimately this is why I marry people legally on Australian soil before (sometimes after) the trip and when we’re overseas we simply celebrate their marriage and don’t worry about the overseas legals, plus there are big benefits to the couples if they marry legally in Australia as well.
### A terrible time to buy a business
Recorded on April 21 in the year of COVID-19, live on Facebook and here in the podcast. Talked about how OPD has moved to webinar, how business is in the era of the coronavirus, do we need business cards any more, and what to do if you're now doing a small wedding instead of a big wedding.
Note: Since this podcast episode, Life Skills Training has been rebranded to Celebrant Institute RTO. We now also offer ongoing professional development at celebrant.training.
https://www.facebook.com/celebrant.institute/videos/1102704673438626/?__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARBsVnOD4h3p-iAahi0atHC7NHjlrzbgwzBFHOQi4hW_JsqcNbHf-tyczQhQCsKXvk7XVt3ZorLscDwYa79_5pQc3sLpmt9LnrU8v9w1nzpZSroIFhwP90op47VCx_PYtvHa6-JOUAwMsNjriwXB464se5MhrPFtaRfB_2zSwglwRXkp87S2PRcb8OgyihB4tfpJBElFdNMGNPfPf5MicPLTbRChZsyjsv0jCWsQOLDXgoGW3-YtHrJboQ8L6_KwEfPEJ5pwl2-Vi_baTJOGIsRZbO-tSb97AEFeLS3ZeJL66zyC9sZIHqu-t0094s_kdER2c-G783k8AwVj6T9Wc3jazXPEn7VjWRU&__tn__=-R
### Check out an 11 year old celebrant survey
11 years ago (in 2009), celebrant directory website Celebrante, conducted a survey of about 1400 celebrants. I’m cleaning out my Dropbox folder and found the survey, so I thought it’d be an interesting piece of quarantine content for us all while we’re busy doing not a whole lot in regards to weddings.
Only one celebrant that responded to the survey charged more than $1000 and most were in the $400 to $600 range.
Less than 15% were full-timers. Which is about the same 10 years later.
78% of the respondents were conducting less than 20 ceremonies a year.
About the same number of celebrants have a service contract. Did I mention we sell a great service contract?
Interesting look at how businesses were set up then.
I’ve always found it interesting that anyone could ever proclaim that they do not need to improve. I guess it’s the posture you need to take to win at being a public presenter, but I could improve a whole lot, and I bet the celebrants in this survey could as well.
Newspapers!
Personalised stationery!
“Do you have your own website?”!!!!
Oh website, how have you failed me?
So that’s a quick look at the survey, what are your thoughts on having a glance back over the industry 11 years ago?
### Witnessing a NOIM over Zoom in the COVID-19 lockdown
This post is now out of date, for the latest news on the remote witnessing of Notice of Intended Marriage forms visit this page.
With Police Officers and JPs being the most popular witnesses to notices of intended marriage forms when a celebrant cannot attend the witnessing, and with many celebrants unable to attend a meeting to sign a notice of intended marriage because of social distancing directives, the Attorney-General’s department is investigating an alternative.
One alternative being investigated at the moment is the ability for a celebrant to witness a NOIM remotely.
The Marriage Law and Celebrants Section said:
Due to recent legislative measures, it may be possible for a responsible Minister to temporarily adjust arrangements for meeting documentary requirements under Commonwealth legislation. These adjustments would only be for a specified time period in response to circumstances relating to the COVID-19 pandemic.
On behalf of Celebrant Institute members Sarah and I responded to the request for consultation positively, endorsing the idea, with two additions:
that this change to NOIM witnessing to be extended past the COVID-19 time period,
plus we would argue for a re-definition or a new understanding of "presence" as to allow marriage solemnisation to occur over video conference (as has recently been approved in New York).
To clarify, in case you’ve skimmed and not read everything - as of Monday April 20, it is not allowable by law to witness a NOIM online. The possibility is merely being investigated by the MLCS and we’ll be the first to let you know if it becomes lawful.
Personally, I think that weddings over Zoom have a real place in our country’s future. They may not be for everyone, but the beauty of Australia is that there’s room for everyone’s different tastes and ideas.
### When you are not different even Google is against you
A really powerful way for you to spend your time and energy whilst weddings are essentially furloughed, is to evaluate, reevaluate, and evaluate even more, your current business systems and marketing strategies.
I like to view my marketing strategy as a journey, and the end of that journey is when someone “walks into my store” and makes a purchasing decision, and my “store” is my website.
On a recent Google Office Hours webinar, Google’s Webmaster Trends Analyst, John Mueller, made this comment on being different to a webmaster who has a ringtones website who was complaining of traffic dropping and their search engine position dropping:
In general, I think with a website that’s focused on ringtones, it’ll be a little bit tricky because our algorithms really do try to look out for unique, compelling, high quality content.
And if your whole website is built up on essentially providing ringtones that are the same as everywhere else then I don’t know if our algorithms would say this is a really important website that we need to focus on and highlight more in search.
So with that in mind, if you’re focused on kind of this small amount of content that is the same as everyone else then I would try to find ways to significantly differentiate yourselves to really make it clear that what you have on your website is significantly different than all of those other millions of ringtone websites that have kind of the same content.
Maybe there is a way to do that with regards to the content that you provide.
Maybe there is a way to do that with the functionality that you provide.
But you really need to make sure that what you have on your site is significantly different enough that our algorithms will say well this is what we need to index instead of all of these others that just have a list of ringtones on the website.
So that’s probably not going to be that easy to make that kind of a shift but that’s generally the direction I would hit.
And that’s the same recommendation I would have for any kind of website that offers essentially the same thing as lots of other web sites do.
We’ve often talked about the power of being different in the marketplace, but it’s important to note that even Google is judging you for being not different.
Take a breath, step back, and have a look at your brand and your position in your marketplace.
Are you different?
Are you one of the ten or more local celebrants whose business and brand name is “Name of Town Celebrant”?
Are you communicating your difference well?
How could you better communicate how different you are?
### COVID-19 and critical issues for marriages in Victoria - UPDATED
Update 1 April 2020: I got the following response from BDM to my questions:
How can couples with a genuine eligible need apply for a shortening of time if they are unable to access the prescribed authority at the BDM office or Marriage Registry, or even call them on the phone?
Couples can still apply for shortenings via either the Victorian Marriage Registry email address (marriage.registry@justice.vic.gov.au) or by sending their information to the BDMCritical email address (bdmcritical@justice.vic.gov.au). Court Registrars also have the prescribed authority to approve shortened notice periods.I appreciate that this is far from optimal; however, this is unfortunately a necessity due to the current situation with COVID-19.
Are couples who require their marriage certificate for visa purposes classed as having a "critical need"? Many of the couples who are pushing to get married now, under the restricted conditions, are doing so because of visas expiring in the next few months; they need their certificates to progress their visa applications. Are these the type of requests that come under "critical" and can be assessed through this email address at this time?
In the past, couples have been able to apply for priority registration based on their need. As long as BDM has received paperwork from the celebrant, we would consider priority applications to complete the registration within a shortened time frame.
I would currently consider the same situations for prioritised registration, and encourage people with a genuinely short timeframe to email their case via bdmcritical@justice.vic.gov.au.
The intention of the inbox is for those in genuinely "critical" need (ie: a case where a lack of BDM's services may ruin their life). There may come a point where BDM's resources cannot keep up with the Visa demand and we may need to re-assess priorities and re-define what is "critical".
For now, I'd ask any urgent cases to be sent via the inbox, and I'd consider "urgent" to be those that require completion within our turnaround times - see: https://www.bdm.vic.gov.au/certificate-turnaround-times
----------------------------------------
28 March 2020: BDM Victoria has shut down their offices and their call centre until further notice. This raises two critical marriage issues that they have not clarified. This evening I've sent the following email to my local State member, Michael O'Brien, who is the Leader of the Opposition in Victoria. I'll keep you posted...
Dear Michael
Your office was very helpful to me earlier this week when I was trying to get further information about the Premier's statements about weddings and funerals being cancelled (which of course was overturned later that day), and I'm hoping your staff can be just as helpful to me with this issue.
At 4.34pm on Friday 27 March, I received an email from the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages stating that effective immediately, all BDM customer service centres, call centres, and the Marriage Registry would be closed until further notice. It said that effective immediately, birth and death registrations and certificate requests would be prioritised, but that marriage notifications would continue to be registered. No further information was provided about timelines for marriage registrations or certificate requests, or about arrangements for any other marriage-related issues.
As far as I can ascertain, Victoria is the only state to have completely shut their Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
The VIC BDM website currently has the following statement on its homepage:
"Victoria has declared a State of Emergency due to the risk posed by coronavirus (COVID-19). Our customer service centre and call centre are closed until further notice. You can still apply online. However, we will only assess critical certificate or registration requests until further notice. For critical needs, email bdmcritical@justice.vic.gov.au."
There is no mention on what is classed as "critical".
I have emailed the email address asking for clarification on these two issues I will shortly outline, and received an automatic response stating:
"Please be aware that this email address is for critical certificate and registration requests only. This may include:
repatriations;
urgent death registrations and certificates; and/or
urgent certificates required for situations of financial hardship."
There are two major marriage issues that we as marriage celebrants require urgent clarification and instruction on:
Shortenings of time
It is Australian law that couples must give one month's notice before they can be married, by lodging a Notice of Intended Marriage with an authorised marriage celebrant. However under certain specific circumstances (for example where one partner is terminally ill and will most likely die in less than one month) the notice period can be shortened, by applying to a prescribed authority for a shortening of time. The only prescribed authorities currently listed in metropolitan Melbourne are the Registrar at the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages on Collins Street, and the Victorian Marriage Registry State Officer at the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages on Collins Street.
As this office is now closed, how can eligible couples currently apply for a shortening of time? Can applications be sent to the critical email address mentioned on the BDM home page? This is unclear and needs addressing urgently.
Marriage certificates for couples in need
Due to the Federal Government's restrictions on public gatherings restricting weddings to only the celebrant, couple, and two witnesses, most couples have decided to postpone their weddings until more of their family and friends can be present. However there are some couples who need to forge ahead with getting married because one of the parties is in the country on a visa that will expire in the next few months. They may have decided to marry under advice from a migration agent, to strengthen their application for a partner visa, or they may have had these marriage plans in place for quite some time, in preparation for their partner visa application. There may also be other reasons for couples to marry that I haven't thought of, but the couples I'm dealing with at the moment are all pushing through for visa reasons.
The email from BDM to celebrants yesterday seems to suggest that marriages will not be registered if enough births and deaths come in that take priority, and the automatic response I received today does not consider that urgent certificates may be required for visa situations.
While it may be unlikely that anyone will have the time to be pursuing people who have overstayed their visas in the coming months, these couples do not want to do the wrong thing and want to be able to access their Registry-issued marriage certificates in a timely fashion ahead of their visas expiring.
Can situations such as this be escalated to this critical email address for action? This is unclear and needs addressing.
Please don't hesitate to call or email me if you require further information or clarification about either of these matters.
Many thanks
Sarah
### COVID-19 and marriage practicalities - UPDATED
UPDATE RE PENS 2/4/2020: I wrote the initial post that included wiping my signing pen with antibacterial wipes between each signer based on the rule I learned many moons ago that when signing a legal document, all signers needed to use the same pen, as different pens may suggest the signers signed at different times or in different places. After much consideration I'm changing my stance on this; I've decided to buy a big box of cheap black pens from Officeworks and have all signers use their own pen to minimise the spread of germs. I have disposable gloves (that were already in my cupboard) that I will insist on everyone wearing. Plus I'll use all the hand sanitiser and wipe down my folder as mentioned. I've changed the post below to reflect my change in process.
I'm fielding a lot of questions about how to actually manage marriage ceremonies in a practical sense, with regards to the 1.5m distance advice and 4 square metres per person rules currently in place. So I want to let you know how I personally am managing these things.
Please note that this is not advice. This is the way I've figured out that I am comfortable working, and you may or may not feel comfortable with the same measures in place. It is up to every individual celebrant to decide how they want to work in the current climate.
A reminder that this is the advice we received from the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section in their email to all celebrants on Wedneday 25 March at 5pm:
In the measures announced by the Prime Minister on 24 March 2020, which will take effect from 11.59 Wednesday 25 March, the solemnisation of a marriage is to occur with a maximum attendance of no more than five people, being the two parties, the authorised marriage celebrant, and the two witnesses. Social distancing of 1 person per 4 square metres is to be enforced. This applies to marriages both indoors and outdoors.
I am only taking on strict Legals Only weddings at this point:
no one present other than the couple, their two witnesses and me; for me, that includes nobody watching from balconies or windows or over the fence, and no photographers with long lenses present, even if they're off in the distance.
strictly only the bare minimum legal ceremonies; no personalisation, no story, no readings, no music, no "nice to have" bits of a traditional wedding ceremony. I introduce myself, I say the Monitum, the couple says their legal vows, we all sign, and we're done.
only available at the couple's home (preferably in an outdoor space if they have one) or in a park close to their home; no travelling to "nice outlooks" or "pretty scenery".
At the actual ceremony I am ensuring the 4 square metres per person rule is in place. Regarding the 1.5 metres of space between people:
the couple are likely already living together, or will be after the wedding, so there's no need for them to stay 1.5 metres away from each other
their witnesses may also be living in the couple's home; if this is the case there's no need for them to stay 1.5 metres away from each other
the witnesses may share a home with each other (e.g. if they are one party's parents); if this is the case there's no need for them to stay 1.5 metres away from each other
I personally will stand 1.5 metres from everyone concerned while I am delivering the ceremony, but not during the signing, because to me that's simply not practical. Given it is a legal requirement that the couple, witnesses and celebrant sign these documents immediately after solemnisation of the marriage, we need to find a way to do this.
Here's a rundown of what I'm actually doing from the moment I arrive at one of these ceremonies to the moment I leave:
I arrive and greet everyone while staying 1.5 metres from all involved; no handshakes or even elbow taps in greeting.
Before I have the DONLIM signed (because I'm generally doing this immediately before the ceremony as there has not been a rehearsal or any other face to face meeting prior to the marriage), I give both parties gloves to wear and a separate pen each.
I show them the DONLIM (which I've already emailed to them for them to review the details) from a distance, explain what it says once more ("this document says there's no legal reason you can't get married: you're not married to someone else, you're not siblings and you're over 18. Are you happy to sign that?"), and then move closer to them to point where they are each to sign. I continue to hold the folder containing the document while they sign it. Each person gets their own pen for signing.
I move to an appropriate distance away, ensure the others are standing an appropriate distance from each other while remembering those who live together do not need to be separated, and begin the ceremony.
I introduce myself and recite the Monitum, then ask each of the parties to the marriage to repeat their legal vows after me. No microphones are necessary because even though we are spaced appropriately, there are only five people present so everyone can hear.
If the couple wants to exchange rings, they are welcome to do so; I do not touch the rings or the ring box, they are responsible for managing that entire process, and there are no words that go with the exchange.
I pronounce them married, and if they want to, the couple kisses.
I again collect my signing folder and pen, and hand gloves and separate pens to the witnesses (the couple already has their gloves and pens). I hold the folder and point where each person is to sign on all three marriage certificates (I have found that even using coloured sticky notes doesn't necessarily have people signing in the correct places; I have found I need to actually put my finger on the line they are to sign on). Each person can keep their own pen.
After all the signing is done, I put their Form 15 in an envelope and hand it to the couple, then I leave: no selfie, no photo, no handshake or elbow tap.
When I get in the car I dispose of my gloves and clean my hands with hand sanitiser, and wipe down my signing folder with an alcohol wipe before putting it in my bag.
The entire process takes a maximum of 8 minutes and I'm done. I have ensured physical distancing where possible, and I have minimised the time I am in the presence of others (who may be infected and not yet know it) to less than 15 minutes (which is the amount of face-to-face time currently being quoted as "close contact").
Current advice is that celebrants could be fined (anywhere from $1000 to $10,000, depending on which state you're in and what you read) for not complying with the maximum of 5 people and 4 square metres per person rules. If photos appear that have all five people in them, there was clearly a photographer present, even if they were in the distance, and I'm not prepared to risk that. If there is an outbreak that is traced to the marriage ceremony, and there are people present through windows or over fences or on balconies, who then gather with the married couple and are exposed, my name is on the paperwork that is submitted to the government, and I'm not prepared to risk it.
Obviously what the couple and their witnesses do after we leave is not our concern nor our responsibility. The way I see it, we become responsible or accountable when we knowingly allow more people to gather, even at a distance. We must put these things in writing to our couples; send them an email or a text message before the wedding reminding them that only they and their witnesses may be present, so that in the event that you turn up and there's more people present, or more people gather after you have left, you have proof that you gave them the correct advice. We are also well within our rights to refuse to conduct a ceremony with more people present than are allowed; I know it's hard, but be strong and stand up for yourselves if you are confronted with people doing the wrong thing.
These are difficult times and we are dealing with difficult rules. Couples are doing everything they can to get around the rules, but I reiterate: our name is on the paperwork that gets lodged with the government, and we have to be vigilant so we don't end up in serious trouble.
Take care everyone, of yourselves and each other.
### Karen would like to talk to the Coronavirus manager
As everyone else in the world is doing, this episode we're talking about the coronavirus, aka COVID-19. How is it affecting the wedding industry? How is it affecting us specifically? Get in touch if you want to tell us how you're feeling: hello@celebrant.fm.
### Communicating with couples about COVID-19
Do you know the Greek myth of King Sisyphus? As retribution for tricking the gods, he was punished to an eternity of pushing a large boulder up a steep hill only to have it roll back down just as he reached the top.
With circumstances surrounding COVID-19 changing by the day (sometimes the hour), trying to keep your couples updated feels a bit like chasing this boulder. Just as you think you have a handle on weddings in the pandemic age, there’s a new announcement from the PM or Premier and we’re back at the bottom of the hill. Even as I write this, Gladys Berejiklian is on the telly advising there will soon be a ban on all non-essential services in NSW…
When this happens, it’s very easy to give up and just wait for your couples or the Government to make all the decisions for you. But as frustrating as it might be, the best thing you can do for your business right now is to keep in touch and stay visible. Your couples are looking for guidance, and as a wedding expert, there are some huge advantages to stepping up.
Great customer experience (not just customer service)
Customer experience strategy is a fancy term that in its simplest form means putting the people who use your services at the centre of your business decisions. Celebrancy is a very human-centric industry, so most of you are probably do this already without even realising it. While customer service is often reactionary – only springing into action when the customer contacts you with a problem first – customer experience is proactive and aims to anticipate the best way to help a client.
During a crisis, it’s important to continue this client-first mentality. That doesn’t mean you need to start refunding everyone (you still need to be in business for next year’s couples), but it does mean that you should be doing what you can to keep your couples informed and feeling supported. In addition to all the financial and emotional stress that everyone is experiencing at the moment, your couples are also dealing with the biggest event they will likely ever plan. Just letting them know you are there to help can be super comforting.
Take control of the conversation
The bonus effect of hopping on communication early is that you can lead the conversation with your couples. If you wait for them to call you, chances are they’ve already decided what they are going to do. By making first (and continued) contact, you’re opening up a dialogue and letting them know what options you can provide.
I’d recommend emailing first, then following up later with a phone call if necessary. This gives your couples a chance to think about how they want to respond rather than being put on the spot.
Work together for the best possible outcome
Ultimately, we want to continue to work with our couples safely and legally. The best way to do this is encourage them to work with you for a solution. This might mean that all planning meetings are now done through videoconference or postponing a ceremony until next year, but whatever it is, you want it to be a negotiation so that it works for both the couple AND you. The last thing you want is a new ceremony date you can’t attend.
What you should say
Recently, Josh wrote that we should only answer with three things when responding to client’s emails. And sure, these things are important (in fact, they’re included in my list below), when it comes to a being proactive, I believe we can go a little further.
I’m not going to write an email template, because the situation is changing so rapidly that it may already be out of date by the time you are reading this. Besides, your business and your couples are different to mine – to quote the theme song from a popular ’80s sitcom “what might be right for you, may not be right for some”. However, I think there are a few do’s and don’ts that are worth considering…
The Do’s:
Do reiterate the current regulations about gatherings in Australia and your state.
Use the exact words from the Government press releases and provide links to Government websites.
Do direct them back to their client service agreement.
You might be willing to be more flexible in these extreme circumstances (NB you don’t have to be), but this should still be your baseline.
Do explain what steps you are taking already.
Reassure your couples that you know the law, you are taking precautions and their safety is one of your top priorities.
Do talk about any contingency strategies you have in place.
Yes, Plans B, C & D may all change tomorrow, but show that you are doing everything in your power to manage the things you can.
Do be clear that as the situation unfolds, plans may change.
You can’t provide guarantees, but you can let them know that you will stay on top of new developments.
Do encourage your couples to reach out to you before they make any final decisions.
Ideally, you want to work *with* them for a solution that suits both them and you.
Do let couples know when and how they can contact you.
Maybe you’re available 24/7. Maybe you can only take calls after 6pm on weekdays. Whatever it is, let your couples know the best way to get in touch for a quick response.
And most of all, do let your couples know that you are there to support them as best you can, whatever they decide.
The Don’ts:
Don’t tell your couples what to do.
Suggest options, of course, but this is a highly personal decision they will need to make based on their own expectations and circumstances.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Be particularly careful with your wording – “may”, “possibly” and “depending on” are your friends here.
Don’t speculate.
We really don’t know how long this is going to go on or what Government regulations are coming next. The best we can do is offer solutions based on the current information.
Don’t offer health advice.
By all means provide links to reliable sources such as the World Health Organisation and the Department of Health, but unless you’re a doctor specialising in contagious diseases, leave the medical advice to the experts.
Unlike Sisyphus’ curse, this crisis will eventually pass. But if you want to be at the top of that hill when it does, you’ll need the help of your couples to get there.
This is a guest post by Alison Pickel
### Coronavirus income support for self-employed marriage celebrants
This blog post does not serve as legal or financial advice. We’re all just reading the Economic Response to the Coronavirus, fact sheet on Income Support for Individuals, on a Monday morning, the 24th of March at 9:50am, so take from it as you like.
Let’s read it together.
The Government is temporarily expanding eligibility to income support payments and establishing a new, time-limited Coronavirus supplement to be paid at a rate of $550 per fortnight. This supplement will be paid to both existing and new recipients of the eligible payment categories. These changes will apply for the next six months.
So $550 per adult per fortnight, to new and existing recipients of “the dole” as us Aussies like to call it, for the next six months.
My best understanding is that if you’re self-employed and out of work, you’ll fo on the Jobseeker Payment.
Asset testing is waived.
Waiting times are waived.
Income maintenance periods do apply, this means if you are on annual leave or received a lump sum payment on “leaving work” then you have to wait. I’m guessing us self-employed aren’t doing this?
People will not be permitted, and will need to declare that they are not, accessing employer entitlements (such as annual leave and/or sick leave) or Income Protection Insurance, at the same time as receiving Jobseeker Payment and Youth Allowance Jobseeker under these arrangements.
So don’t put yourself on annual leave if you are in a situation like I am and you’re an employee of your trust or company.
To ensure timely access to payments, new applicants are encouraged to claim through on-line and mobile channels.
Go through my.gov.au or the Centrelink app.
From April 2020, Services Australia will allow new applicants to call to verify their identity to reduce the need to visit a Services Australia office.
So if you are not already in the Centrelink system, you can do it on the phone, instead of lining up at Centrelink.
And it looks like Rent Assistance is available too.
Applicants may also declare the amount of rent they pay in this declaration to qualify for Rent Assistance.
They have simplified the application process. We don’t need employment separation certificates, or proof of rental arrangements, or verification of relationship status. We don’t need to do a job seeker assessment to make sure we are “job ready” and you don’t need to see an employment service provider first.
Sole traders that become eligible for the Jobseeker Payment will automatically meet their mutual obligation requirements during this period by continuing to develop and sustain their business.
So if you are already a sole trader or self-employed, you do not need to look for work during this period.
The payments begging on April 27 and it sounds like they’ll end on October 27 unless shit gets even more crazy.
### So, you’re being affected by a pandemic
If you’re a marriage celebrant, or officiant or even just a wedding vendor of some description, and your main clientele are inhabitants of planet earth, you might find yourself in a position in the coming weeks where there is a negative effect on your business and way of life due to a pandemic.
This article will not serve as a source of news or updates to said pandemic, try Googling for that kind of information. We’re also not going to go into great depth as to how to stop a pandemic, if only because my Certificate III in Radio Broadcasting is the highest authority I have in regards to stopping a pandemic, and as I studied for that course nothing - I repeat, nothing - was ever mentioned about pandemics, so I’ll leave that to the experts.
Don’t believe the hype
Everyone has lots of opinions about how this all works, how it pans out, and who’s doing what right, or wrong.
What you do need to do is find a number of sources you can trust on information you need.
For example, in regards to travel advisories in and out of Australia, the only source of correct information is the Smart Traveller website, alongside the companies who you booked the travel with, plus Betty in a Facebook group. Trust no-one else.
Another example isn’t how everyone is a legal expert in regards to cancellations, refunds, and how fast over the speed limit you can drive without legally speeding. Don’t listen to these guys, listen to lawyers and government authorities.
Don’t spread the hype
Betty in a Facebook group is already doing enough hype-spread, so leave it to her. As for you and your house, you shall follow those authorities you decided to trust.
In particular, as people who have social media accounts with followers who trust us, do not abuse that trust by spreading hype.
Answering those emails
Many couples who have booked weddings with you and your colleagues may also be emailing you, asking questions from travel to gathering sizes, and whether or not you’ll still be at their wedding.
Answer with only three things.
What those authorities say. Don’t add to the hype, or spread further hype.
What your service contract says. Your service contract defines the outer limits of your commercial relationship with this couple and it exists for times like these.
Within the bounds of your service contract and the law, what are you doing.
So, you don’t have a service contract?
Many of us claim to be running a business, but don’t have service contracts. If you are in the wedding industry and you don’t have a contract between you and your clients that is crafted by lawyer knowledgeable in
your business and how you run it,
where you run your business and how that local authority expects you to run it,
then you are simply a cowboy, and it’s totally ok to be a cowboy, but you’re not running a sustainable business.
But Josh!!!
I know, I know, everyone’s very offended by this idea, but here’s all the reasons you need to have a service contract
A service contract defines the outer limits of your relationship between you and the people who you went into business to serve. Without it, who even knows what your relationship looks like?
A service contract protects your couples from you going out of business when a pandemic or other terrible things happen.
A service contract lets your couples know what you will and won’t do for them.
A service contract protects you from the extremities and weirdness of living and working on planet earth.
A service contract allows you to be generous with your payment, refund, cancellation, and change policies because a starting point was defined early on. Who even knows if you’re being generous when they don’t know what the basic relationship looks like?
A service contract allows you to budget for, and plan for, running a sustainable business into the long future ahead - instead of that horrible other possibility where you don’t do that.
Simply put: real businesses that care about their clients, have service contracts. It’s like marriage, if you’re serious about spending your life together with this other person, you marry them, because you want to define your relationship like that.
Do I need to give a refund if people cancel?
It all depends on what your relationship looks like between you and your couples.
If you have no defined relationship outside of “yes, I will be your celebrant!” then you are subject to general consumer law.
In Queensland, where my business is based, the government says “Refunds aren’t always an automatic right. Businesses don’t have to give you a refund if you: change your mind, buy the wrong size, or buy the wrong colour” as an example as to when you don’t get a refund.
But if you don’t have a service contract then who even knows if you should give a refund? It’s up to you to sort that out with each couple who wants one.
Should I charge more for moving a wedding to a date further away from said pandemic?
What does your service contract say? And how generous are you feeling? Personally, with me and my couples, if I am able to still be their celebrant, but they change the date and I’m not available, then there is no refund available and if they aren’t flexible with their new date then I’m maintaining that there is no refund available.
If the couple are moving to a new date where I am available, then I’m doing that at no extra cost unless there are extra or new travel costs. Some celebrants however are offering deals like it’s free to move to a weekday, or 50% extra for a new weekend date. Those celebrants have bigger balls than me.
What if the authorities say I cannot be the couple’s celebrant?
This is unchartered territory. It’s highly unlikely that your service contract does not mention the words pandemic, but maybe it does mention your unavailability in the case of weather or delayed travel. I would simply start having those conversations with couples who have weddings over the coming month or two. Let them take the lead, and commit to what you are comfortable to commit to, and if you don’t know, say “I don’t know” and get back to them when you do.
What if we are allowed to have the wedding, but I don’t want to?
That’s you cancelling the contract, and I would say a refund would be due to the couple.
What if we ‘flatten the curve’ and I’m out doing weddings?
We’re entering the area I like to call, general good hygiene.
Minimise touching and sharing and kissing and being naked exchanging saliva in a dungeon until you feel safe to do so.
No need to be weird about it, just calmly communicate that at this time you’re not comfortable hugging/dungeoning with anyone, and it’s not personal.
I wouldn’t make too much of a big deal about it on social media. I always try to imagine where my post would pop up on my couples phones, and it’s likely amongst a million other bloody posts about a pandemic. So I try to help, or lighten the mood, or help, but mainly, help.
So, your business is suffering because of a pandemic?
I hear you, many of us are swimming through these uncharted waters looking at the months ahead and wondering what on earth this all means for us.
Many of us have weddings cancelling, postponing, changing, moving, and that means a variety of things to us financially today, and more importantly, tomorrow.
Here’s some things I’ve been thinking of about how myself and my friends might find success into the future.
You see, in times of hardship in the wedding industry, we are often sleeping in the bed we made six to nine months ago. We have no real control over the current situations involving social isolation, self-isolation, travel bans, and quarantines, but we do have control over the
the brand we are building today
the product we are selling today
the legacy we are leaving today
the financial position we are working and planning toward
So:
Look for the opportunities to slim down, change, and make your business processes more efficient. Maybe that $10 a month service isn’t doing what you thought it did and you can cancel it, or you’ve got extra gear in your business you could sell or put to use.
Re-evaluate your financial systems. Maybe your mortgage is paid forward so you can take a break from repayments today to save money for tomorrow, or other simple tricks. Many banks and other providers of services are offering discounts and changes, take these opportunities to slim down your expenses. Reducing your outs is often a lot easier than increasing your financial ins.
As we move to differing levels of social isolation, look at how you can do business online. Either over Zoom or Skype, or using online forms, online service contracts, CRMs (customer relationship management systems), or simply email.
If you still take cash, stop, and look at online payment systems. If you are an Australian business enable PAYID for you bank account so you can say “make the payment to your@emailaddress.com” instead of trying to send BSBs and account numbers, and if you’re using a system like Xero, Tave, Dubsado, Studio Ninja or other systems, enable credit card payments in Stripe, so payments can be made easily. Before you try to increase your ins, make them glide into your bank accounts a lot smoother.
Finally, look for those new revenue opportunities. Many businesses are making changes, and some might even move or shut down. Look for new holes to insert yourself, either in marketing opportunities, SEO, on social media, or even in a different product or price market-fit. Is there a product you want to offer or bundle with? Now’s a great time to experiment and focus in on:
Your passions
Your strengths
What you’re good at
What your clients say you’re good at
What people know you for
What you’d like to be known for
In conclusion, all of this sucks, but we’re all in this together, and I can promise you that this too will pass.
So when it passes, will you be ready?
### I'm a CEO now!
Thank you again for listening! This episode we chat about:
Sarah's exciting news
Privacy implications of hiring a virtual assistant
That old chestnut: thoughts about charging for travel and how to do it
As always we welcome your thoughts and feedback at hello@celebrant.fm!
### "Ceremony writing is my least favourite part"
Jeff asks:
I’m heading into my busiest year yet, I’m so happy I get to work alongside so many great humans who want to be married! The downside (if we can call it that) - my ceremony writing process is my least favourite part (is that bad?). I’ve done the work of automating as much of the process as humanly possible while creating a very fun customer journey, but when it comes down to writing the ceremony I’m just not that psyched. And then when you multiply the procrastination to start by x amount of weddings it’s easy to fall behind. Couples and guests have always said they love the ceremonies I write (phew!) but it can be exhausting and seems hard to scale.
I hear you Jeff, I used to feel a similar way about the ceremony writing process.
I’ll take a hard left out of celebrancy and ceremony writing for a second, and talk about business, in particular, creative businesses.
Creativity is a flow state, it comes, it goes, sometimes it’s not replicable, or in other moments, the silliest thing will throw us off course and we’re in deep water drowning in the backlog of things we should have done, but have not.
Smart business people identify their strengths and weaknesses, and find workflows around and through them.
Once you’ve identified a weakness, a roadblock, something that stops your creative flow, or something that negatively affects your mental health, you need to do something with it:
Is it required by law or regulation? If so we need to figure out how to tackle it.
Is it required by a market-norm or your product or service includes it? I’d say there’s room to erase it from your business, or outsource it.
Is it actually not required at all, and is simply a thing you think you have to do but don’t. Get out the eraser, we’re rubbing this one off the board.
Required by law or regulation
There are some things, like taxes, accounting, business forms, administration, that the powers-that-be require us to do. Maybe you don’t need to do them yourself, maybe an accountant, a personal assistant, a virtual assistant, or a professional in that field, can do for you. Look at offloading, outsourcing, this work to them so you can get back to your deep work of being creative.
Required by the market
The market doesn’t always know what they want, they’re relying on you to be creative and to create something they’d love, plus, I bet there’s a segment of the market who would rather your creativity than your doing-the-right-thing.
Like the myth goes, “If (Henry Ford) had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.”
This is a place to exercise your creativity and do the deep work to figure out how you can deliver something the market wants without disabling yourself.
Not required at all
Delete it off your website, take it off your documents, forget it ever existed, and when asked why you don’t do it, be the expert and the leader and communicate why it doesn’t matter and how you do something better for the portion of the market that appreciate your art.
On writing ceremonies
There are four different kinds of ceremonies created, in my opinion.
100% templated, insert-name-here, you could do it in Microsoft Word. That template has to come from somewhere, hopefully it’s something you feel comfortable delivering. Some of our celebrant colleagues excel at this style.
100% written for the couple, in consultation with them. Some of our celebrant colleagues excel at this style.
Ceremony created by a third party. Someone with spectacular writing skills writes a ceremony, in consultation with the couple, and the celebrant delivers it well. The writer is the Bernie Taupin to your Elton John. Some of our celebrant colleagues excel at this style.
Templated bits, mixed in with personal drops. This is my personal style. I have “bits” like a comedian might, and I know how they work best, and which crowds and couples those bits work best on, then I also have notes of a personal nature. I personally assemble most of this ceremony ahead of time in prep, but deliver it on the fly, knowing that depending on weather, timing, the couple, the mood, that sometimes I’ll add or drop bits as appropriate. Some of our celebrant colleagues excel at this style.
The key is to look inside yourself, and to know what you’re good at, and to just do that.
Our clients aren’t hiring you to be something you’re not.
They are hiring you to be the best you you could ever hope to be. So be that.
### Changing from selling to serving
Many of us have a problem with selling. It’s understandable, most of us have been sold to before, and we’ve hated it. A “salesperson” is often the sleaziest person in the room, and none of us want to be “that guy.”
But here we are, trying to pay our mortgages or rent with some cash we earn from being a celebrant.
And traditionally, that requires sales.
So, I, Josh-saviour-to-the-celebrants, has a solution!
Stop selling, start serving
Celebrants aren’t actually selling a product - as much as I’ll refer to the words selling and products in other posts - we are serving our people.
We are service people.
So stop thinking about what you do as sales, and start thinking about it as a service. You are serving your community. That service comes with a fee, but ultimately, you’re serving your community much like a defence force service person is serving the nation, a plumber service person is serving a homeowner, a mayor is serving a town, or as an aid worker serves a town in need.
We serve. We help. Our time and energy translates into something great in someone else’s world.
As you serve, and you position yourself mentally in that place, get your soul in the right place, and your brain lines up, and your website, emails, templates, service contract, and every part of your business lines up with that truth that you are serving people.
You're no longer a sales person, and you no longer need to be good at sales.
You just need to be great at service.
### Ten reasons you should take credit card payments
If your couples don't have an easy way to pay you with credit card, I'm of the belief that you're not only missing out on cash flow and cash, but you're also missing out on the goodwill you would generate by making your couples' lives easier.
It’s just so nice to be able to quickly and easily pay someone. Instead of copying and pasting BSBs and account numbers into banking software. Particularly as there is at least 60%, if not higher, chance that your client is receiving the invoice on their phone and copying pasting account numbers on phone is hell - where as Apple Pay, Google Pay, or Samsung Pay is just a delicious experience.
If you don’t read the whole article, read this: figure out how to make this a thing.
Here are ten reasons I think you should either enable credit card payments (if you already have the option) or look at extending your payment options to include credit card.
Instant transactions: I'm assuming I'm not alone in meeting the couple who say they've made a deposit but they haven't, or they made it to the wrong bank account number through a mistype or error. Credit card payment gives the couple and yourself instant notification that the payment has been made, reducing any questions to "did you get the email" or "are you awake?"
Points: Many people, your author included, are fans of the frequent flyer or credit card reward points schemes. If I can pay for your thing with my credit card I would rather do that than pay cash or debit card because with my credit card I'm earning up to 1.5 points per dollar spent. So if I pay you $1000, I earn 1500 Qantas points, and 10,000 points is a free flight to Sydney, or a free business upgrade on some flights. I pay my credit card off every month, so it costs me nothing to earn frequent flyer points. We went nuclear on this idea when it came to paying the $15,000 for IVF, we got three new credit cards, each with a sign up bonus between 50,000 and 100,000 Qantas points, and minimum spends of about $3000 before the sign up bonus was paid out, so we split the payments across three cards, and walked away with about 260,000 Qantas frequent flyer points. That's a round-the-world business class ticket. Yes please! so if we're doing it, then your couples are probably doing it too.
Actual need for credit: Not everyone is paying for their wedding with cash, some are putting it on finance and for some that finance is a low interest credit card. Don't embarrass them by making them make a cash advance on the credit card to pay you.
Ease of payment: I mentioned this in instant transactions, but sometimes I'm paying bills late at night and it's nice to just click the invoice, click pay, let me credit card details auto fill from Safari, and click submit, and I know for sure that the bill is paid.
Other people are paying: I can tell you from my own business that one in ten credit card payments are from a creditor cardholder that isn't the couple. Sometimes it's mum, dad, or other family. Or I've had people buy me as a gift for the couple, and sharing credit card details makes it easy for them to do that.
Not all credit is credit: Most bank accounts are issued with a debit VISA or debit Mastercard card these days so the couple might not even be paying with credit, they just want an easy way to pay.
The fees: The credit card processing fees aren't that bad, and they're a cost of doing business in the modern world we live in. I use Stripe and Braintree and they both charge me 30 cents plus 1.7% of the total. That's $8.80 on a $500 transaction or $17.30 on a $1000 transaction. And if you invoice with Stripe (or if you build your own system like I have) then you can add the credit card fee. Most people don't mind paying the fee, it's quite normal to pay it when online shopping, and if they don't want to pay it then there's bank deposit.
Xero: If you use Xero and link it with your Stripe account and accept all payments that way, it now auto-reconciles the payments for you, so it's so easy!
Two day transfer: I requested a faster transfer for Stripe, so now I have a two day transfer after the payment is made. With Braintree, it's the next morning.
This is the new normal: Paying with credit card via Apple Pay, Google Pay, Samsung Pay, or just plain old credit card is the new normal, so get on board!
This article was originally published on June 23, 2018 and has been updated for today.
### Moving town as a celebrant
Kath asks:
Hey Josh, Just wondering if you have any advice on what I should be doing in preparation to "move/expand" a celebrant biz interstate. I am moving to Hobart mid year and would like to make a start on some marketing now which will in turn affect my bookings for the end or the year and the beginning of next. Apart from reaching out to some lovely local celebs in the area to say hello and booking in to attend an expo, do you have any ideas on what I should or could be doing online (website copy, SEO, blogging, google listing, marketing, back end kind of stuff) while I am in this early transition stage.
Great question Kath, and it’s only a small sidestep from what anyone should be doing at anytime. I’ll dot point the actions I would take if I was making your move today.
Specifically, I would be making a lot of these moves today, because the underground of the internet moves like molasses, for example, just today I received a Google My Business verification card in the mail that I ordered at least six months ago. It must have been lost in the mail, but it still took ages.
Get a physical location (office) where I could receive mail and take meetings: For the first one to two years of the move I would rent a desk or an office at a co-working space. I would begin the tenancy today, months ahead of the move, so that you can change your Google My Business, Facebook page, Instagram page, LinkedIn, and website to the new address. On your website make sure you link to the physical address using the correct (schema and micro format)[https://schema.org/LocalBusiness] so that Google, Bing, Siri, etc all pick up on your relocation. I would ditch your old location and branding for the locality quickly. This also allows you to start planning meetings with potential couples without having to worry about opening hours of cafes you’ve never been to. You might even plan a trip or two ahead of the big move so you can start meeting people.
Location branding: If your website and social identity is linked to a location, like “Tugun Celebrant” I would make all of those edits real quickly. It’s a good time to move to a non-location brand, so instead of being “The Tugun Celebrant” rebrand to “Josh Withers Hobart Celebrant” or whatever works for you. I’ve never been a fan of the non-personal brands anyway, and this is a great time to implement this across all of your platforms.
Audit your identities: I’ve mentioned a few platforms and social networks, but I would make a list of everywhere you are active. Facebook, Instagram, Google My Business, Google search results, Bing search results, DuckDuckGo search results, LinkedIn, Byte, Snapchat, Mailchimp, Email signature, Email address, Personal Facebook, Twitter, your accounting software, your CRM, Youtube, Tiktok, Skype, Zoom, and others - and make sure that each one has the new and updated branding, their same profile photo, the same naming conventions, usernames, and if there’s room for that physical address, get it in there.
SEO: Search engine optimisation is a long game, so don’t stress about it now, but make sure you are blogging - always be blogging - and mentioning the new location in a few different but authentic ways. I would workshop 20-30 blog posts that share your expertise in a local way, but be authentic about the move. Maybe do a series of blog posts about Hobart venues you’ve found and loved, and perhaps you could even do an interview series with other Hobart vendors.
Marketing: Just to get a solid online presence in a new market I would do up a list of all of the directories and blogs that are present and active in the new region, find out which ones have advertising schemes and which ones have directories, and cherry pick the ones you love, plus the ones that are cheap, and throw a few dollars, in the $500 range, towards re-establishing yourself in a new region. There are directories I still list in today because they bring me zero business, but they weigh in on my search engine optimisation, telling the search engines that I am active in that region.
Your social media posts: This is a good time to lean into your personal brand and slightly away from your “local weddings” brand and start posting about yourself, your ideals, your beliefs, and your strong points as a celebrant, getting professional photos of yourself and you doing your work, in the meanwhile including some hashtags that have activity on them from the new region.
Other businesses social media posts: This is also a spectacular time to highlight 20-40 local wedding businesses that you think are awesome, and literally start moving into their comments section. Be authentic, don’t fake it and don’t be weird, but commenting, liking, and sharing posts from other wedding vendors is the new networking breakfast so get busy and start sharing 2-3 line comments on these local vendors work. Begin that working relationship by falling in love with their work, their art, and their style, and maybe one day you guys grab a coffee, and you’re best friends, and they refer some people to you - bam you’re local.
Wedding fairs: I personally have a real love/hate relationship with wedding fairs, but if I was moving into a new region I would put my big boy pants on and get over myself and hit some local wedding fairs for a while. It’s a solid way of networking with the industry, getting social media and blog coverage by other vendors and industry blogs, and also meeting couples.
Don’t compromise on your product and price: Despite being new to the area, you’re not new to celebrancy, so be strong about your product offering and price. It might be that in the new region, you might need to make some adjustments and some medications to suit the region, but ultimately, people love you for being you, so don’t let go of that.
Maybe be prepared to travel: Finally, this might be a good time to release yourself from the grips of the “working within a few kilometres of home” kind of celebrancy business, and becoming a little more of a traveller. Particularly in Tasmania, everything is no more than five hours away, often less, so I would broaden that scope and get some new tyres on the car, you’ll fall in love with the whole state really quickly.
A powerful element of the wedding industry many forget is that every customer is a new customer, new to the industry, new to the marketplace, and new to you, so it’;s a beautiful place to reinvent yourself and even move house, or move sea.
And of course, adjust all of these measures in regards to how important your celebrant income is to you. Mine provides for my whole family, so I would take more drastic steps and start doing wedding fairs next week if I was moving there in sick months, but for others you might be a little more relaxed.
My general vibe with local weddings is that most are getting planned 6-18 months away, so if I wanted to be working somewhere else then, I’d be making actions now.
### You don’t have to do everything
My favourite computing device is my iPad. I’m actually travelling for up to six months of this year with only my iPad - it’ll be my main computing device. There’s two or three little bug bears that really annoy me about the iPad, but the main one is how the Instagram app is still phone-only. There’s no iPad app for Instagram.
The CEO of Instagram recently even addressed the issue:
He also said Instagram “would like to build an iPad app.” “But we only have so many people, and lots to do, and it hasn’t bubbled up as the next best thing to do yet.” The iPad is 10 years old. Maybe by the time it’s 20, then?— Chris Welch (@chriswelch) February 15, 2020
And as much as I think that’s BS, it also got me thinking about celebrants and how we don’t have to do everything.
If Instagram has permission to not make an iPad app because “we only have so many people, and lots to do, and it hasn’t bubbled up as the next best thing to do yet” then you 100% have permission to not do everything.
Maybe it’s the number of services you provide, like weddings, funerals, namings, etc, and maybe one of those, or many of those don’t bring you joy - you don’t have to do every service that every other celebrant provides. For example, I only do weddings and elopements, the others don’t interest me.
Maybe it’s the amount of things you include in your product. Like providing a table and chairs, or a number of meetings or a rehearsal, feel free to trim things down. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than me contributing to the furniture and styling at a wedding ceremony, but maybe you love that.
The thing is that you have a choice, and you get to choose to build a business, provide a service, and live a life that brings you and your customers joy.
Go forth and be the iPad app you want to be :)
### A podcast, not by us, with Jerry Saltz
I’ll be honest, I haven’t been able to kick the thought that as much as this podcast episode seems like the least likely thing to recommend to a pack of celebrants, I just have to.
So here it is.
Jerry Saltz, the New Yorker art critic weigh Dave Cheng, the chef.
Enjoy!
### What are your travel fees for?
Linda asks:
As a regional celebrant I am struggling with travel and how to incorporate this into my fees. I have an "anything over 200km round trip" clause which may seem a lot but its realistic to where I live. My problem is more about inquiry meetings, extra meetings and rehearsals. Obviously I cant charge for an inquiry meeting but do I just have a set higher wedding fee which kind of covers longer distances overall whether the wedding is near or far? Hope you can help!
Travel fees are a controversial topic in the wedding industry. Whether to charge or not, how much to charge, and how to administer the travel fee if the venue changes, or what if it’s just inside or outside of a certain boundary?
I’ll cover Linda’s direct question beneath but I have also been wanting to talk about travel fees so I’ll do that first.
What is the travel fee for?
So let’s try and attack this issue pragmatically?
Who is the travel fee for? What is it supposed to do?
I know in my business a travel fee can serve two purposes:
To encourage couples a little far from home to not book me, or
To actually cover the extra cost of travel.
This whole conversation is one about boundaries. Setting boundaries, respecting boundaries, and knowing when to relax boundaries.
To dissuade bookings far from home
As most of my articles are, I’m writing this in an airport lounge, because the style of business I have chosen for this season of our life is one of travel. I barely book any weddings near home and people far from home seem to like me, so I travel.
But if I wanted to create an incentives structure to keep me home more, I could choose a travel fee for weddings outside a boundary I was prepared to work within, and really make it worth my while to leave that boundary.
So an example for me might be that if I’m charging $1000 for local events, weddings more than 200km away incur a $500 travel fee.
When setting a boundary like that, you need to communicate it well.
You don’t want to burden people with a ruler and a paper map, so for me I might say, weddings outside of the Gold Coast, Brisbane, Byron Bay, and the Sunshine Coast regions incur a travel fee. An example of areas that incur this fee include Toowoomba, Noosa, and Yamba.
Many people include wording here about cents per kilometre and I believe that you are really asking too much of couples when you start with confusing language that requires couples to have a lot of information about you before they have even chosen you.
I would also recommend against charging a low cents per kilometre rate, or a multi-tiered travel rate, because while it makes sense to you, your couples just want to book a bloody celebrant and you’re making it far too hard and far too confusing.
Sales psychology would tell you that more people would rather pay a $500 travel fee than a $184.30 travel fee that they have to work out.
Plus, if the travel fee is small, in the sub-$100 range, just include it in your actual price as a cost of doing business.
To cover the actual cost of travelling
This is a different kind of travel cost, but my principles remain: keren it simple, keep it easily understood, and help couples make their decision to book you.
I believe that the best foot forward in this regard is to have location-based pricing. Instead of quoting a $1000 fee and a $230 travel fee for Betoota weddings, just say Betoota weddings cost $1230 totally inclusive.
I calculate the cost of getting there, the cost of accommodation, and will often roughly add $50 for food and fuel, depending on circumstances. So Sydney weddings I charge $600 travel, because that will cover me being there.
Enquiry and sales meetings
You would be hard-pressed to get me to travel more than 30 minutes for a sales meeting. I’ve just had too many be wastes of my time.
So my advice Linda is to make three offers to couples not close to you:
A meeting close to you, at a cafe or if you have an officer meet there. ?Just offer a series of three times or dates you could meet at that place, and leave it with them.
A meeting over the internet, using Facetime or Skype, or Zoom. Do it on your laptop so your video is stable and try and get a place with good lighting and audio.
They could book you without meeting you. Just offer it in the email, you can book me this way, or if you’d prefer to meet, then let’s organise that.
### Music for making ceremonies
Maybe you're a better worker than I am so you don't need this, but over here in Josh-world I'm as easily distracted as a mouse in a cheese tasting room.
So seeing this resource made for programmers made me curious as to whether or not it might be helpful for people like us doing thought-work as well.
Enter, "Music for Programmers". It's simply a playlist of free music that is designed to play in your headphones while you do the intense work of thinking.
Go to http://musicforprogramming.net and hit play while you do today's work and maybe you'll be more focused like I currently am.
### What happens if we don’t submit the official marriage certificate to BDM within two weeks
A Celebrant Institute member asks:
I know celebrants are required send all the legal documents after the wedding day or submit via lifelink within 14 days of the ceremony but what actually happens if we forget?
Sarah’s on holidays this week but luckily for you, this is a question even I can answer.
The two week deadline for submission isn’t a guideline or a recommendation.
It’s the law, here’s a grab from section 50 of the Marriage Act 1961:
The authorised celebrant shall hand the certificate referred to in paragraph (1)(a) to one of the parties to the marriage on behalf of the parties, and where 2 official certificates have been prepared: within 14 days after the solemnisation of the marriage, forward the official certificate to which subsection (3) applies, together with the notice under section 42, the order (if any) under section 12 and any statutory declarations, consents and dispensations with consents relating to the marriage that are in his or her possession, to the appropriate registering authority of a State or Territory ascertained in accordance with the regulations.
So what would happen?
I’m no lawyer but it sounds like if you miss that deadline you’re in the criminal zone, in offence of federal legislation and the Marriage Act stupiulates that it’s to be dealt with according to the Criminal Act.
### The golden rule of marriage legals and ethics
Lots of the questions celebrants ask me relate to how far they can push the legislative requirements or ethics of our role, e.g. how closely do we have to follow the Guidelines, what's the furthest out from a wedding the DONLIM can be signed, are surprise weddings really forbidden? I have one simple test you can apply to any situation, and if you've ever been to one of my OPD classes you'll probably have heard me talk about this before.
If you had to go to court to testify about the validity of a marriage, could you, under oath, stand by every decision you made? And preferably, could you back up every decision with reference to the Marriage Act, Marriage Regulations, Guidelines on the Marriage Act, and other relevant legislation?
I often teach this when I'm talking about the distinction between things we must do (those contained in the Act and Regulations) and things we should do (those contained only in the Guidelines). Although what's in the Guidelines is best practice only and not things we must do, I believe the vast majority of celebrants would be in a much better position when giving legal evidence if they could say they had followed the Guidelines. If they hadn't followed the Guidelines, they'd want to be able to back up their interpretation of the legislation and stand by their reasoning.
Yes, there are still things in the Guidelines that are not perfect, and there are still things in the Guidelines that do not provide any kind of definitive answer (e.g. how far out can the DONLIM be signed), but I believe if you apply the above test to any decision you make, you'll be in a pretty good place.
(I learnt about this when I worked for the public service; for every expenditure we made, the test was "if this ends up on the front page of The Australian tomorrow, could we justify it?")
It's a pretty simple test to keep in mind at all times.
### Advice for couples re name changes after marriage
Jake asks:
I’ve had a couple ask about what happens with their names after they are married. I’m not sure if I’m meant to know or if it’s some what part of my role but what is the legal action for changing the couples names after the ceremony?
While this is absolutely not our job, and some celebrants say it's beyond the boundaries of our role, I think it's helpful to provide some information about name changes after marriage to my couples. Who else are they going to ask?
My Ceremony Builder Booklet contains the following information, and I also have it as a blog post on my website:
Changing Your Name after the Wedding
Once you are married, one or both of you may wish to change your surname. To make this process a little easier for you I have provided information about what is required by some organisations in order to change your name. There are also many resources available online to help you with changing your name, including some name-change kits you can purchase.
Please note you don't actually need to change your name on any documentation if you don't want to. Many newly married people use their married name in social circles but keep their birth name on official documentation or for professional purposes. Also be aware that this is not a formal name change process through Births, Deaths and Marriages; you will not be issued with a new birth certificate as you would if you were formally changing one of your names given at birth for a reason other than marriage. When you change your name by marriage, basically you tell every organisation that has your name recorded that you want them to call you by a different name, and you produce your BDM issued Official Marriage Certificate as proof you are allowed to use that different name.
It's also worth remembering that both or either party can change their name after marriage. There are several options available to both parties. The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade says:
"The applicant (either bride or groom) may choose one of the following surname name options from the surnames appearing on their registered marriage certificate:
Retain their existing surname
Adopt their spouse’s surname
Add their spouse’s surname to their own surname, with or without hyphens, before or after their existing surname.
For example, if Lisa Smith marries Tom Jones her name after marriage could be:
Lisa Smith
Lisa Jones
Lisa Smith Jones
Lisa Jones Smith
Lisa Smith-Jones
Lisa Jones-Smith."
Step 1
The first step is to apply for a BDM Issued Official Marriage Certificate. Please note the decorative certificate I give you after your wedding ceremony is NOT sufficient evidence for most organisations to change your name. You can go right ahead and change your name on Facebook and some other places on the day of your wedding, but most legal entities won't change your name without this documentation.
For most weddings I conduct in Victoria, I order your marriage certificate for you; it will arrive in the mail a few weeks after your wedding. Alternatively, the easiest way to apply for a BDM Issued Official Marriage Certificate in Victoria is to apply online to Births, Deaths and Marriages Victoria (www.bdm.vic.gov.au). If you are married outside Victoria, you will need to apply to the appropriate Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages in the State or Territory in which you were married.
Please note that outside peak wedding season it takes approximately 4 weeks for your marriage to be registered after the ceremony (up to 8 weeks during wedding season, November-March), and it can take a further 2 weeks to produce the marriage certificate.
If you have any other questions about applying for a marriage certificate please give me call and I should be able to help you.
Step 2
Once you receive your BDM Issued Official Marriage Certificate you will then be able to change your name on your Driver's Licence and Passport. The requirements to change these documents are:
Driver's Licence
You must visit a VicRoads office and show them:
Official Marriage Certificate issued by Births, Deaths and Marriages
Your Driver’s Licence (current or expired less than two years ago).
Passport
You will need to complete a Passport Renewal Application (online at www.passports.gov.au) and submit it at your nearest Passport Office, usually a local Post Office. You will also need to show them:
Official Marriage Certificate issued by Births, Deaths and Marriages
Your current passport.
NOTE: You can still travel on a valid passport in your previous name. In this case, it is recommended that you also obtain your tickets in your previous name - buy your honeymoon tickets in your birth name!
Step 3
Now that you have your BDM Issued Official Marriage Certificate and have changed your Driver's Licence and/or Passport, you should be able to change your name with all other organisations. The main places people need to change their details are listed on the following page, however this list is not exhaustive and there may be other organisations you need to notify.
Organisation / Service
Name Changed
Alumni - university, high school
Ambulance membership
Australian Business Register if you're the director of a company
Australian Electoral Commission
Australian Organ Donor Register
Australian Tax Office
Bank/s - accounts, credit cards, ATM cards, loans, cheque books, term deposit accounts
Births, Deaths and Marriages
Centrelink
CityLink account
Council - rates and animal registration
Driver's licence and car registration
Frequent Flyer and other loyalty clubs
Home phone account
Insurance - car, house, contents, health, life, insurance protection
Internet account
Investments and shares
Magazine and newspaper subscriptions
Medicare
Memberships - library, sports clubs, gym
Mobile phone account
Online - Facebook, ebay, LinkedIn
Passport
Pay TV account
RACV breakdown cover
Real estate agency if you're renting
Regular service providers - hairdresser, mechanic, vet, accountant, lawyer, doctor, dentist
Superannuation
Utilities - electricity, water, gas
Voicemail
White Pages listing
Your children's school
Your employer
Your will
### Will a hot outdoor wedding cook my PA system?
Sophie asks:
When performing a ceremony out in the blazing sun with no undercover area nearby are either of you protecting your speaker/receivers etc from the direct sun? I’m nervous about it all overheating and thought you guys might have found a solution? I thought maybe of attaching an umbrella somehow to my stand?
As always, it depends.
People often question the high cost of professional equipment, like a MacBook Pro versus a MacBook, or a Sennheiser wireless microphone and a MiPro. But operating in extreme temperatures or extreme circumstances is what puts the professional in the name.
The two things that high temperatures would affect in audio gear would be plain old melting of plastic, which should be highly unlikely in professional audio gear, and the other is the battery.
Melting plastic
I suspected as such when I bought them, but my audio gear is rated to operate in temperatures down to 10 and up to 50 degrees Celsius. I use a Bose S1 and a Sennheiser G4 wireless microphone and receiver, and there’s a fairly low chance that being in direct sunlight for the length of a wedding would melt the plastic.
However the battery might have other ideas.
Burning batteries
Most batteries being used outside of their optimum operating temperatures start doing odd things.
If your battery gets too hot, anything over 25 degrees Celsius, but over 35 you should be worried, the length of charge left in the batter decreases the hotter it gets.
Just say you have it charged to 100%, and in normal conditions, about 25 degrees Celsius, that full charge will last eight hours.
The same charge in 40 degrees Celsius might only last four hours.
There’s not easy way to manage or measure this, so just be sure to walk out the door with a freshly charged battery, and I aim to replace mine at the end of each summer.
Battery care
Your battery is the most volatile part of your audio kit. Here’s a few pointers:
For AA batteries and 9 volts batteries your microphone might use, don’t use rechargeable batteries. I prefer to use high quality alkaline batteries (I get mine from Battery World) over rechargeable AAs because not all rechargeable AAs are made the same, and they don’t deliver the same amount of consistent electricity.
Old advice about charging patterns doesn’t stick, and it’s quite impractical. Especially considering that lithium-ion batteries don’t have a memory like the nicad batteries of the past.
However avoid completely discharging the battery to zero.
A good quality battery should be able to be recharged up to 500 times, but I want to replace my PA system battery well before it starts to deteriorate, so that’s why I replace annually … maybe you do it bi-annually … but every three years is an easy way for you to become that celebrant whose PA system “just didn’t work and I don’t know why?!”
### How to make marriage paperwork PDFs, and where to send them
While I’ve talked a lot about how I sign my paperwork on an iPad, you’re welcome to choose your tablet and software of choice, I haven’t detailed exactly where the paperwork comes from.
Of course you can download blank marriage paperwork from the Attorney-General’s office, and if you wanted to find the shortest link between the AGD website and signing it on an iPad, you could literally treat that blank paperwork like blank physical paper. But there’s a better way and it depends which state you live in.
New South Wales
I create a marriage draft in Lifelink, I then utilise the “Print” function, which downloads the PDFs of that couple’s paperwork, and I load those PDFs into Notability. Once in Notability I treat it like physically printed paper, we sign on it, export it, and submit it back into Lifelink.
Queensland
Similar deal but for RBDM, where I create new marriage details, save, and download the appropriate forms from the marriage record.
Victoria
And an even similar deal for RIO, but their website is terribly designed. My web browser of choice is Safari, on my Mac and on iPad, but when RIO generates paperwork it exports it using a technology called Binary Large Object, or abbreviated, BLOB, and it puts the marriage paperwork in a PDF in a blob in a pop up window. It’s a recipe for disaster. The BLOB technology is well-documented to not work in as expected in Chrome on iOS, Samsung Internet Browser, Safari for Mac, iPhone, and iPad, and Internet Explorer.
The work around is to do the unforgivable - enable pop-ups - in a browser like Chrome for Mac or Windows, and access RIO that way. Bloody ridiculous.
Tasmania, Australian Capital Territory, South Australia, Western Australia, Northern Territory, Norfolk Island
For these states whose BDM hasn’t gone digital and fancy, you can still sign marriage paperwork digitally, and I do. I do it for my personal purposes of keeping a good digital archive. Plus it allows me to make changes to marriage paperwork without scribbling on a piece of paper.
The process remains the same, you need to get a PDF, sign it, then get it back to the respective BDM, the problems are:
Where does the PDF come from?
Where does the PDF go?
Where does the PDF come from?
There are a number of ways to get the PDF. You could download the blank forms from the AGD, but there are two problems here. One is that you need to manually input the information, and with manual input there is massive room for error.
I don’t like errors on my paperwork, all they do is create a culture of even more error, and my couples don’t need that from me, and I don’t need that level of stress.
So I turn to computers to manage this data flow. There are two software packages I have used for managing this data and creating marriage paperwork PDFs before. One is Byronware’s Celebrant Suite and the other is Celebrant Easy.
Byronware has been the best of the lot for the longest time. It’s a solid piece of software and it does exactly what it says on the box. The only limitation is that it runs on Windows, and I don’t. I maintained a second Windows laptop just for Celebrant Suite for a long time, but I have recently let go of that for the web-based Celebrant Easy. Celebrant Easy could be better written, but it too does the job.
The job, for both, is to ask all the right questions of a couple, then from that dataset, create marriage paperwork ready to sign.
They both do the job well enough, one for Windows, and one for the web.
Where does the PDF go?
Export the PDF to your file storage provider of choice, mine is Dropbox, but you’re welcome to use iCloud Drive, One Drive, Google Drive. This step is just to back it up.
Now you’ve got to get it to the BDM.
Print it to paper and slip it in an envelope, and send it to the respective BDM.
Special mentions
Lord Howe Island marriages can generate paperwork and register marriages with the NSW BDM, marriages solemnised in the Australian Antarctic Territory would be emailed to the ACT BDM, Christmas Island and Cocos or Keeling Islands weddings would send their paperwork to Perth. If you were to find yourself on one of the Coral Sea Islands off Queensland, that paperwork would be sent to Canberra. A wedding ceremony on the southmost part of Hyams Beach would find themselves slipping out of New South Wales and into Jervis Bay Territory, which would need the paperwork to be sent to the ACT BDM, instead of Sydney. Finally, if you’ve found yourself on the beautiful Norfolk Island, you might be surprised to know that although Norfolk Islanders have a New South Wales postcode, they do have their own BDM. Just pop it in the mailbox before you leave, PO Box 95, Norfolk Island, 2899.
### Queensland BDM needs more info on parents
A member asked for help with the Queensland BDM wanting more info on parents.
Here’s what I asked of the Queensland Attorney-General:
There is a discrepancy between advice provided by the Qld BDM and the Commonwealth Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Attorney-General’s office that I would like to raise with you today.
I'm hearing a number of stories from Queensland marriage celebrants, of parents being listed on the notice of intended marriage differently to the party's birth certificate or not at all, and the Queensland Births Deaths and Marriages pushing back on the marrying celebrant and refusing to register the marriage because they can see the birth certificate in their own records, and they registrar knows there are parents listed, or different parents from what has been written on the NOIM.
I went on to explain that the information in the current Commonwealth Guidelines to the Marriage Act of 1961 states that parties should list their parents using the names as they know them by, and that we are not required to sight evidence of the parents' names.
The AG has come back off holidays and responded, basically saying, touch cookies.
The registrar has the discretion to require further information and clarification.
I guess my advice would be that if you strongly believe that the request is unwarranted, then you can push back on the request, but I’d be looking for a reply from Sarah in the comments section soon.
### Which iPad and which apps do you recommend for celebrants?
Jake asks:
I’m currently taking bookings faster than I planned would happen and have decided that an iPad might be a better way to keep everything in one place , meaning my emails/ceremonies, and documents. But the main reason is I would like to be able to have my couples sign the the paperwork on the iPad (form 15 , NOIM) all that jazz. I just wanted to know what you would recommend in size and what programs/apps would make this possible.
So my goal in life is to live 100% on my iPad. It has merit for a few reasons.
Firstly, I never want to get comfortable in my technology usage, I always want to be challenged, if not by one of you, then by myself, because as much as I age, my target market does not. The way they communicate and do work will be always changing, so trying to fit my foot into a new shoe is a good way of exercising those muscles.
Secondly, the iPad really is a beautiful little machine, and for someone like me who spends a lot of time away from the office, it’s the perfect size and weight to travel with.
Finally, Apple is investing heavily in the iPad series of devices being the future of computing. If I am ever in the place where I need to choose between the new version or the existing version of a thing, I’ll always choose the new version, even if it hurts, because I’d rather adapt early than adapt late.
Which iPad
A quick look at https://www.apple.com/au/ipad/ will give you the outline of what Apple is selling in the range of iPads today.
There’s the simply named, iPad, which is the smallest of the “normal sized” iPads, and it’s also the slowest and the cheapest, running old hardware. It starts from $529 from the Apple Store and can be priced up to $889.
The iPad Air is what you might call, the regular man’s iPad, running newer hardware and a slightly bigger screen,
The iPad Mini is the half-sized iPad, and in my opinion, too small to do work on.
Then there’s the iPad Pro. I use an iPad Pro, the 11” of the current series. If you wanted to go all out on an iPad Pro with 1 terabyte of storage and 4G, that’s $2269.
The good news is that all of the iPads run the latest iPad OS 13, so software wise they’re all basically the same, and of the current range being sold by Apple, they all support Apple Pencil.
They differ in screen size, screen quality, device size, storage size, and whether you want a 4G modem inside.
My buying advice today is to buy the most expensive model you can afford, at the biggest hard drive space you can afford, and if you’ve still got wiggle room left, buy the 4G version - people say “you can just tether it to your phone” but you won’t understand how nice it is to just have a computer that is always internet connected until you have one.
The iPad I use today is the iPad I’d buy again today, an 11” iPad Pro with 256GB of hard drive space and 4G. This model is $1,669, and if I was feeling generous, I’d upgrade to 512GB of hard drive space.
You’ll need an Apple Pencil $199 for the current range of iPad Pros, or $145 for the other iPads. I’ve heard others buy cheaper stylus for iPad, and you’ll regret it, just try out an Apple Pencil. You’ll want a Smart Keyboard, or at least a Bluetooth keyboard, and as someone who has dropped his iPad a few times, you’ll want to spend the $169 on AppleCare+ to help you get it fixed and replaced for cheap.
So the good news is that after all these purchases your new daily driver computer is awesome, but you’ve just spent $2300. If you want to spread the expense out a little, I bought mine on a plan from Optus. It comes with loads of data and the plan I went on was cheaper over 24 months than buying the iPad outright.
If you’re looking for a good deal, keep an eye on OzBargain.
Which apps
My everyday apps are as follows:
Spark for email - I would normally lean towards using the builtin mail app, but I have an assistant, so Spark allows us to delegate emails to each other and for us to leave private comments on emails to help each other cover the workload.
Drafts for notes - I love the simple and no-nonsense framework Drafts uses for just getting text out of my head and into a note. There’s an iPad, iPhone, Apple Watch, and Mac app, and all the notes sync up. The Apple Watch version even has a really nice dictation mode so I can take notes straight into my watch.
Dropbox for files - iCloud file sharing will be good one day, but until it is, I use Dropbox as my personal filing cabinet in the cloud. I pay for the extra features that make it a professional level file system.
Ulysses for long form writing - I might start my writing in Drafts often enough, but I’ll finish it in Ulysses. It uses Markdown formatting which I love, and it’s just a really nice way to write long form for this website, or for print. I’m literally typing this into Ulysses right now. It’s syncing between iPad, iPhone, and Mac works beautifully too.
Notability for PDF signing - I’ve tested a lot of PDF apps and as of the last test I could not find one that treated a marriage certificate like a boring piece of paper we could scribble on to. Notability does that one job really well. I import documents, we sign them, and I export them to Dropbox.
Lightroom for photo editing - I edit all of my personally take professional photos and iPhone photos in Lightroom. It’s simply the best and everything else is just trying to be Lightroom.
Lumafusion for video editing - at time of print, Lumafusion is the most powerful video editor available for iPadOS.
Ferrite for audio recording and editing - I wish Ferrite was on Mac, I love it that much for editing podcasts I record.
djay for playing music professionally - the Music app, or Spotify, works well enough for casual tunes, but if you’re being paid to play music, you need a professional song player, and that’s djay.
Goodreader for basic file handling - Sometimes on iPad you just need a Swiss Army Knife for opening files, that’s Goodreader.
Carrot for weather - the built-in Apple Weather app has wrong info, carrot gets the right stuff from BoM via Willyweather.
Zoom for video chat - I like Facetime but I like Zoom just a little bit more. I can have a chat room that I can just invite people to join with the same link every time. It’s a nice experience.
Flow for doodling - If you’ve got an Apple Pencil, you’ll love to doodle, and Flow is the nicest app for sketching, doodling, drawing, and creating.
Tripit for travel plans - I travel a lot so I store alllllllll my travel plans inside Tripit. The bonus us that TripIt automatically syncs with Flighty.
Flighty for flight info - Flighty is a beautiful app for tracking flights. It has loads of data and updates via notifications that are really helpful.
1Password for password and sensitive data storage - I keep all of my passwords, sensitive documents like ID, and secure notes, in 1Password. I’ve got it on the family plan so Britt can access it as well, and it helps me give every single app and website a unique password so that if one of those services get hacked, the hackers don’t have access to everything of yours.
Canva for graphic design - for anything a little more creative than a photo or words, I use Canva. It’s Australian made and so powerful that even the largest companies are using it for branded design.
And for an old school bit of fun: BananaPaint - If you were an original black and white Macintosh user, you’ll appreciate the uselessness and beauty of BananaPaint, named after Apple Paint.
Outside of those apps I use the built-in apps, because they integrate so nicely with the whole system and that’s the iPadOS experience: tight and beautiful integration.
Shortcuts for creating workflows, Safari for web browsing, Reminders for to-do lists and reminders, Calendar for calendars, Message for messages, News for news, Maps for maps, Clock for clock, Numbers for spreadsheets, Pages for a word processor.
Shrotcuts is one of the most powerful and underrated apps on the iPad. Check out the MacStories archive for some really cool shortcuts.
If you’ve got a powerful machine like an iPad, you can play games as well, I pay for Apple Arcade, and my favourite game at the moment is Mini Motorways. Plus a little but of Apple TV+, Disney+, and Netflix, keeps my spare hours filled.
The final app I use which is a little outside the regular person’s scope is OpenVPN. I use OpenVPN to connect my iPad to my home network while I’m travelling so that wherever I am, I’m always on my home network. This means that people snooping around the hotel wifi network, or the airport wifi, don’t get access to my data. Plus if my MacBook is on my office desk, I can remote desktop into it and use my MacBook on the Gold Coast, from Iceland. This requires a “server” to be set up at home, so I have a RaspberryPi that runs a VPN server, it all cost maybe $100, plus that RaspberryPi also ruins Pihole so I have advertising blocked on my home internet, so any website I view has no ads on it! If you want to go down this route it might be helpful to get a nerd to help, or to skip the hard part and buy a kit off Amazon.
### Comparing a Josh wedding ceremony and a Sarah ceremony
A topic we don't cover enough here in the Celebrant Institute membership is ceremony presentation and style. It's such a personal topic and each of us has our own style.
But today we thought we'd lift the cover and show you all how Sarah and I both present a ceremony. Presented below are two videos, full recordings of a recent ceremony we have both presented recently.
We'd ask you to stay kind and respectful in the comments, whilst also sharing some of your instant reactions to each one.
How did each ceremony make you feel?
How do you think the couple felt?
How do you think the crowd felt?
What are things you saw that you would like to replicate?
Josh's ceremony
Notes: I wouldn't normally play the music, but it turned out I was from my phone ... and the audio is straight from my handheld microphone into my camera, so at the start when the music is playing, it's just being picked up by my mic.
Sarah's ceremony
https://vimeo.com/386123339/9fee0cda18
How did we get these videos?
Josh: I offer a video recording of the ceremony as part of my package, it's recorded on a Sony A6400 with kit 18-55mm lens, and the audio is received straight onto the camera via the Sennheiser wireless receiver attached to the camera. This receiver is tuned into the same channel as my microphone, in the same way the receiver on my PA system is. I also give a receiver to a videographer if there is one.
Sarah: Whenever there’s a videographer present I email asking if I can pay them to edit together the full ceremony for them. They normally charge $80-$100. (Josh: Genius! I've never thought of doing this!)
### Value your interaction
A recent Seth Godin post has had me thinking about celebrancy all weekend.
Interaction is a privilege. But it doesn’t often scale.
The fact that people get to interact with you, taking time away from your partner, family, friends, garden, book, TV show, bed, haircut, or just lying on the floor mindlessly, is a privilege.
Interacting with you, emailing you, calling you, Skyping you, meeting with you, is a rare and beautiful privilege. It’s a rare stone. Not a common backyard pebble. It’s the kind of thing you’d mount in a gold band and wear on your finger.
Don’t give it out for free.
Place a value on it, so that not only you value it, but people that receive it value it too.
As things get busier, as your calendar fills up, as bookings come in, be sure to acknowledge the increase in value of your interaction with an increase in price for it.
### Do not murder
It's our first episode for 2020, and in this one we chat about:
the Celebrant Institute's new partnership with Pod Legal
the pros and cons of leveraging the bushfire crisis (or any other charitable cause) for business purposes
what happens when a party changes their name before the marriage but after the NOIM has been lodged
a reminder that celebrants are not the police or the immigration department or anything other than celebrants
As always, let us know if there's anything you'd like us to chat about on a future episode!
### Minimum requirements for accepting a NOIM
Annie asks:
What is the minimum required information needed to accept a NOIM, and can you accept a NOIM without yet seeing proof of identity and date and place of birth?
You sure can! The minimum requirement is that the form is filled in, signed, and appropriately witnessed.
We don't even need to see identity documents outside the month's notice period. As long as we see them before the marriage goes ahead, we're good to go :)
### When you’ve got an odd name pronunciation
I married a couple recently and the bride had one of those names where there was a few different ways it could possibly be pronounced. In that situation, when we first meet, I introduce myself with my name, and expect the same in return, I’ll then note how they pronounce their own name. But she didn’t!
I feel the same way about business.
When you meet me for the first time I shouldn’t expect that you know who I am or what I do. Even if you know I’m a celebrant, I’m not just any kind of celebrant, I’m Josh Withers. It is my responsibility to pronounce to you what I do, how I do it, and how it is different to what you possibly could be expecting.
Do you do that?
In your Instagram bio?
On your website?
In your marketing?
When you first meet people?
Do you pronounce your ideals, methodologies, your brand, your worldview to people.
Or do you just expect they’ll know? Because they don’t
### A modern day version of the busy cafe getting busier
If you’re not already familiar with the reason why, when faced with two cafes next to each other most of us will choose the busier cafe, the reason is social proof.
We don’t want to have a bad coffee or meal, and we’re unsure about cafe number two, but cafe number one has lots of people in it, so that seems like the safer choice.
Even if it’s not the safer choice, by way of feet through the door and dollars through the cash register, in the end, cafe number one will become the better cafe.
We see the busy cafe and think that the product must be good, and the deal must be good, simply because everyone else is in there.
What if you’re the cafe owner?
If you’re the cafe owner, your first and real job is to get people through the door. Keeping them there is a good work as well, but developing the social proof that you’re a cafe worth visiting is the hard work you have ahead of you. Once people are in the door and spending then you just need to maintain that hamster wheel of revenue by creating a good product at a good price that people actually want.
But the first step is being the busy cafe.
What if you’re a celebrant?
Businesses like us that don’t operate out of a storefront have such an advantage in 2020, we have social media, our websites, our blogs, and youtube channels.
Now more than ever it’s harder to fake it, but if you legitimately have “people walking through your doors” aka people getting married, meeting you, emailing you, share that story.
I’m not going to put words in your mouth, but maybe your next few social media posts could have the heartbeat of a busy cafe, letting the world know that other people like you as a celebrant. Create some social proof that you’re worth hiring.
### Receiving ID documentation securely
Sophie asks a very important and pertinent question (which I’ve slightly edited for brevity):
A question regarding the safety of couples sending digital copies of their ID via email or within a system like Dubsado.
A groom works in IT and raised concern when I asked him to send through copies of their ID to draft their NOIM. I replied saying that I thought uploading their docs via a form in Dubsado would be safe.
He replied ’In regards to the Dubsado application or other applications with securing sensitive documentsdata, I’m in IT and been involved in data breach incidents. All applications and back end data need to follow ISO 27001 standards, so hopefully Dubsado are complying. Part of the standard is that, these documents provided are extremely sensitive and should not be emailed and secured within the application. Data travelling via networks (internet) need to be encrypted, and not all email accounts or tools do this. Hence why I shared the documentsdata via a shared drive for you to sight the files only, then I delete.
I informally recommend, not to save these documentsdata within the application, unless they are fully encrypted, or deleted 6-12 months after the ceremony. Especially not to save this data on your desktop or email account, and NEVER click on an email or link your don't know the recipient.’
Wondering what you guys know and think of this? I should probably contact Dubsado directly too, but at times have had couples email and even text me through pics of their ID - is it way too risky and should I use Skype/FaceTime aka ‘real time’ to never run into the issue? Obviously receiving a pic is a lot more convenient most of the time!
Your groom isn’t wrong, Sophie. Data security and maintaining privacy is super important to understand and to know whether you are
transferring data securely
at a liability holding on to data
The problem with your groom’s comments is that he’s not a marriage celebrant, so we need to meet somewhere in the middle, somewhere in-between high data security standards, privacy laws, the marriage law and advice, and something that actually works.
Secure transmission and holding of data
When we talk about transmission of data we’re talking about getting it from one place to another.
An example using this very article
For example this article was created and stored on my computer, then I transmitted it to the website so you could transmit it to your computer to read it. In that transaction there are two transmissions of data, and three holdings of data. The first transmission is from Ulysses on my Mac to Wordpress on the WPEngine server. The second is from WPEngine’s server to your webs browser on your device, because when you view content from the internet, you’re not viewing it “on the internet” you are downloading it to your device and viewing it there. The holdings of the data are as discussed, in Ulysses on my Mac, in Wordpress on WPEngine’s servers, and in your web browser cache.
So if someone stole this article and published it on their own website, I could look at the transmissions, were they secure, and then the holding of the data, and how secure are they. Intercepting an SSL connection (that little padlock when you view a website) is pretty hard, so it’s likely that thief either access my computer (hard), accessed your device and trawled through your web browser cached (hard by possible), or simply viewed the website on the public internet using either one of your logins or they simply paid the membership fee and accessed it that way (highly possible).
An example using a PDF of a passport
If you receive PDFs of passports from a client for example, then there are three or four transmissions of data and three holdings of data.
The couple scan the passport on their home scanner, maybe this uploads the scans to Dropbox like mine does, or it scans it to the computer hard drive: holding number one. The couple then attach it to an email to you on the same computer: holding number two and it hasn’t even left the computer yet. The email is sent (transmission number one) to their own email sending server (an SMTP server) at which point it is stored in their sent mail folder (their IMAP or POP3 server, and holding number three). Their email server sends it to your email receiving server (SMTP) and stores it in your inbox (IMAP) and then your device connects to your IMAP server and downloads it to your computer or phone. Maybe it downloads to your phone and your laptop, and maybe your partners computer if you also have your email there. So many holdings, so many transmissions. This is where the Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign fell apart.
How do we transmit and hold data securely?
To transmit data securely it’s simply about removing the number of points of intrusion, it’s just like securing your home, the less external doors and windows you have, the less doors and windows you need to secure, but like a house, you also need to consider whether the thief could simply lift a roof tile and enter the house that way if everything else is so secure.
1- Reduce the number of points of entry
So email has so many points of entry, but if all of the email servers are secure in nature, then it’s generally ok. A good way to find out whether your own email is secure is to run the tests at https://www.checktls.com. And if your email servers are all secure, you just need to make sure that your email storage, on your phone or computer is also secure.
If you’re asking people to upload PDFs of their ID to a server, how accessible is that server? I’m waiting on Dubsado to respond to this question, but you need to ask the same of any system you use, whether it’s Dropbox, or Tave, 17Hats, or Studio Ninja.
2- Secure the house
Once you’ve identified any weaknesses in your data sending and receiving, it’s time to look at where you hold data.
Start by identifying exactly physically where your data is stored. Is it on an external hard drive, or is it in your laptop? Is it on your laptop, but you also backup to an external hard drive? Do you print it out and store it in an inbox tray on your desk?
Once you’ve identified all the places you are storing data, digitally or physically, how easy is it for other people to access that? If it’s all in your office, is your office locked, or is your house locked, and who has access to it? Are the hard drives encrypted? Do you have high security access to your devices, like FaceID on your iPhone, or TouchID on your Mac? Is your password your child’s name?
The simple thing we’re trying to eliminate is people accessing the data, either remotely or by walking into your house and taking it.
3- Ditch what you don’t need to hold
If you only need to sight a passport, simply sight it. But if you need to hold onto information, like the official certificate of marriage, then hold on to it. The important thing is knowing what you need to hold onto.
4- What about our obligations as a marriage celebrant
As celebrants we are required to hold onto any and all appropriate marriage paperwork until we submit it to the BDM. This one is obvious because it’s kind of hard to submit documents you don’t have. But once you’ve submitted them, what next? I typically hold onto the documents until I know the registration is processed. But the AG office will also tell you that there’s a requirement to hold onto the official certificate of marriage for six years.
We however have zero, I say nothing, not one, requirement to hold on to any passports, birth certificates, divorce paperwork, or any other private data. so if we’re not required to hold onto them, I would strongly suggest you do not, if only because data you don’t have is data you can’t have stolen from you. But if you are holding onto data, that data is a liability hanging over your head until the day it’s deleted or stolen.
5- Can we just view the documents instead of holding them?
You can 100% sight a document like a passport or birth certificate and not hold onto a copy (or the original), but in an online environment this is a little more difficult.
Reading from the recently released fact sheet on marriage celebrants in an online environment:
Can I receive documents electronically? Yes. Marriage documents including the Notice of Intended Marriage (the Notice) and original supporting documents, such as passports (scanned original not certified copies), birth certificates (scanned original not certified copies) and divorce certificates (scanned original or certified copies), can be provided to a celebrant in electronic form. A scanned copy of an original Commonwealth statutory declaration can also be provided to a celebrant. Electronic form’ includes an email (scanned), text messaging a photo of the document, or facsimile; but does not include videoconferencing such as Skype.
Just in case you missed that: email is ok, text messaging is ok, fax is ok, Skype or videoconferencing is not ok.
Why can’t we video conference and why is uploading to Dubsado or email ok?
One of the requirements of the Electronic Transactions Act is that a document be readily accessible for subsequent use. As videoconferencing is not a physical transfer of information, like a scan, a photo by text message, facsimile or email, with the ability to store documents, it cannot be readily ‘accessed’ for future reference. While the ETA allows for the electronic form of a document to be produced, it must maintain the integrity of the document.
So as much as Skype would completely reduce the liability for securely transmitting and holding onto data, it doesn’t leave you with a document ready for subsequent use.
Where to from here
I can’t write an article designed to help each of you individually because each of you have different operating systems and devices, but please go out of your way to understand what a high level of data security means for you and your workflow. Buy whatever book you need to buy, hire a consultant, go to a class, learn. It is only a matter of time until there is a major data breach of an Australian marriage celebrant’s data store of the hundreds of people they have married, with all of their full legal names, birth details, parents names, ID document numbers, and possibly even the actual ID documents.
As for receiving documents from people securely, I would trust my email over a CRM (like Tave or Dubsado), if I know my email is secure, but your groom’s idea of sharing a folder with you to view the document then he deletes it is also not a bad idea.
The problem with high security is that it starts to become inaccessible to the common person booking you, because the most secure system is one that either doesn’t exist, or one that no-one accesses.
### Partnering with charities? Watch out for the ACCC
Eyewear brand Oscar Wylee is in trouble with the ACCC for its charitable donations.
In an era of such transformative social change, more and more businesses are choosing to align themselves with charitable organisations or causes. Whether that be through donations or the facilitation of programs, businesses of all kinds are stepping up to give back.
So how can giving back become a legal headache?
This month the ACCC instigated proceedings in the Federal Court against eyewear brand Oscar Wylee for alleged misleading or deceptive conduct, and making false or misleading representations regarding its charitable donations.
Oscar Wylee’s Deceptive Misconduct Case
Over a period of almost five years, Oscar Wylee made claims on its website, above the line advertising and digital channels that they would donate a pair of glasses to someone in need each time a pair was sold. On investigation, the ACCC found that only 3,000 pairs of glasses were in fact donated, despite the company reporting over 320,000 sales during the relevant period.
The company also claimed to have partnered with Rose Charities to help build sustainable eye care programs in Cambodia. It was later discovered that the brand’s only affiliation with the charity was a one-off $2000 donation in 2014.
“These alleged false or misleading claims presented Oscar Wylee as engaged in significant charitable activity, and exploited consumers’ desire to support charitable causes. Instead, we allege Oscar Wylee donated less than 1 per cent of the glasses it said it would,” said the ACCC.
Consumer Deception
The ACCC explains that businesses failing to follow through on claims that they’re supporting charitable of societal causes falls under deceptive misconduct. In the case of Oscar Wylee, the ACCC notes that customers may have chosen Oscar Wylee over another eyewear brand, with the assumption that their purchase would contribute to those causes named by the company on their website and advertising.
Companies failing to honour their claims of donations are simply enjoying a PR kick-back, without delivering on their promise to customers – or the charities they claim to be partnered with.
If your business is engaging in charitable donations, affiliations or partnerships, ensure you retain sufficient evidence to substantiate your donations in line with your public-facing communications on the incentives. If you need advice on your legal obligations and record-keeping with regards to charity donations, reach out to Pod Legal.
### Record keeping in an online environment
I've written before about the recent changes allowing us to manage a lot of our legal obligations electronically, but I seem to have missed specifically addressing record keeping:
I read the latest Marriage Celebrant Matters Newsletter and it states that "Hard copies of the Notice, DNLI or any supporting documents (divorce orders, parental consents etc) do not need to be kept once lodged electronically with the registry of births, deaths and marriages (BDM). Celebrants may wish to retain these documents until the marriage is registered"
Does this include all the previous hard copies we kept and lodged electronically? Because previously we were suppose to keep the hard copies for X years from what I remember. I think it was 5 years from memory.
We still need to keep our copy of the official certificate of marriage - it might be in the red register book, or it might be in another format (I keep mine in lever arch folders with a copy of the ceremony script because I'm a nerd). We must keep those for six years; that hasn't changed.
This bit in the newsletter is about the second copy of the official certificate of marriage (the one we would have posted to BDM previously), the NOIM and the DONLIM; we don't need to keep any of those if they've been uploaded to an online registration system.
### Children of previous marriages on the NOIM
It's here again, the most dreaded question on the NOIM. We do know it's being removed from the next iteration of the forms, but given they've been on their way for 5 years, don't hold your breath. Liane asks:
Do you include the years of birth of children on a NOIM from parents who were not previously married?
In a nutshell, the answer to this question is nope! The form only asks for details of children born to a relationship that involved a marriage, whether those children were born before or after the wedding :) (This changed in July 2014; prior to that, only children who were born within a marriage were listed.)
This question causes a lot of consternation because a lot of celebrants and couples feel it discriminates against children of the current relationship, or of any previous relationship where there was no marriage. I'm not going to try to defend it, only to say that it is what it is, and we just have to put up with it for the time being. I will say I've never had an issue with a couple answering this question when I'm completing the NOIM with them, and I suspect that's something to do with how I ask the question.
"Okay great, you've got your divorce certificate here so I can see you were previously married on whatever date, and this marriage ended in divorce. Did you have any children to this relationship? What years were they born? Great, thanks."
That's it. No mention of how annoying it is or how other children aren't included, just ask the question about whether there were children to that relationship and move on. Hopefully that helps a bit!
### 40 Questions To Ask Yourself Each New Year
To bring in the new year, Stephen Ango asks himself 40 questions. I liked his list but thought I’d alter it for Celebrant Institute followers so we could reflect on where we’ve been and look at where we’re going. Identify trends, strengths, weaknesses, and things we should simply be proud of as individuals and as a community. Stephen’s is a personal list, and my amendments are focused on your celebrant business.Maybe you want to do both, or just one, it’s all up to you.
What did you do this year in your business that you’d never done before?
Did you keep your new year’s goals or resolutions?
Did anyone close to you start their business?
Did anyone close to you wrap up their business?
What cities/states/countries did you visit for work?
What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year?
What weddings, funerals, ceremonies, from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
What was your biggest failure?
What other hardships did you face in business?
Did you suffer illness or injury?
What was the best thing you bought for work?
In your industry, whose behaviour merited celebration?
In your industry, whose behaviour made you appalled?
Where did most of your financial expenses go?
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
What song will always remind you of this year?
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder?
Busier or slower?
Richer or poorer?
What do you wish you’d spent more time on?
What do you wish you’d spent less time on?
When are you having time off this year?
Did you make any new business friendships, networks, or relationships?
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
What was your favourite blog/Youtube channel/podcast?
What was the best book you read that inspired you in your business?
What was your greatest song discovery of the year?
What was your favourite Instagram account?
What was your favourite coffee (or other beverage)?
What did you want and get?
What did you want and not get?
What did you do on your birthday and your business birthday?
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
How would you describe your fashion or look this year?
What kept you sane?
Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?
What political issue stirred you the most?
Who did you miss?
Who was the best new person you met?
What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?
What is a quote that sums up your year?
### Multiple NOIMs for one marriage
Kate asks:
A friend is getting married. Only wants a very small ceremony so went to NSW Registry office and paid the set fee to submit their NOIM. No date has been set for their ceremony yet; they just submitted the NOIM as they wanted get the process going. Since then, they've had a change of heart about the style of ceremony offered by the Registry Office, and would like me to officiate their ceremony instead (yay!). The thing is, NSW Registry is apparently going to charge them $120 to transfer the NOIM to their chosen celebrant (me) - that seems outrageous given it takes literally 2 seconds to actually do a transfer in Lifelink. So, since there's no pressing need for them to marry within the next month, I'm thinking the better (ie. cheaper) option would be to avoid that fee by abandoning the NOIM they've already submitted and lodge a new one with me. I wouldn't think that doing a second NOIM would be an issue since the details on it aren't recorded with the Registry office until after the ceremony has taken place... is this correct or do they need to stick with the original submission?
The same answer applies here as it does for any marriage that is changing celebrants; there are no problems having more than one NOIM in circulation for the same marriage. For this situation, the NOIM sitting with the Registry Office can just be left to lapse (although the couple could also cancel their booking with the Registry Office so they don't get hassled by them at any point) and the couple can complete a new NOIM with Kate!
### Changing the planned date of the marriage on the NOIM
It's totally possible to overthink our legal obligations; I know some trainers put the fear of God into their students about getting everything perfectly accurate. This question was a definite case of overthinking it:
A couple from America have gone gung ho and booked to elope in December. They have their heart set on coming into their wedding on a camel!
I advised them that this our 'wet' season and there may be a chance of rain and will need a plan B. However there is no plan B option for a camel to be involved....which is their whole motivation for getting married in this destination. The cameleer has advised them that they definitely need a plan B too. He has asked them potentially plan to have the wedding on 2 consecutive dates (28th and 29th Dec) so that if it is raining on the first date, they can do it on the second date.
I advised them that this isn't possible due to the NOIM limitations. Anyway I got to thinking, is it totally illegal to fill in 2 NOIMS - one for each date? I feel like this would be a no-no but I guess I want to satisfy my curiosity
As long as they have submitted a NOIM to the celebrant on or before 28 November, they can get married on whatever date they want from 28 December onwards. The date on the NOIM is just for our planning purposes, it's not legally set in stone. There's no need for two NOIMs (not that having more than one NOIM in circulation is a problem; it totally isn't), and there's no need for any worry about which date they choose to get married on, as long as the celebrant is available and happy to marry them on their chosen date! If they lodge the NOIM with the celebrant and list 28 December, and then get married on 29 December, we can just cross out the details in that box in the top left hand corner of p3 and change them or just leave it. That box is labelled For Celebrant Use, and we don't even have to fill it in at all, let alone stick to what's written in it.
Couples' plans change all the time, and it would be a pain in the arse if we had to do a new NOIM every time their date, time or venue changed :) This couple is totally fine with whichever date they choose from 28 December, as long as their appropriately signed and witnessed NOIM arrived with the celebrant no later than 28 November. This celebrant is totally good to go!
### Your price is part of your story
I thought I'd share a quick and small story about a wedding I didn't get booked for.
The couple follow me on social media, had checked out my website and information pack, and I feel they had a general vibe for who I am and what I do.
They didn't book me because they found a male celebrant who lived in the same city as them and charged the same price I do.
In their words, they got the same thing but without $750 travel expenses.
That other celebrant is a fine celebrant, good guy, but they had no connection to him, his social media presence is actually really weak, with a small number of followers and less than a handful of posts from 2019.
But the couple thought he was the same deal as me because the local price was the same.
Your price is part of your story, it's part of your marketing message.
When you say you are this much, you're saying who you are. Who are you?
### Changing the redundant parts of the Marriage Act - December 2019 Update
If you've been following an earlier blog post where we made submissions to our local MP regarding removing some redundant parts of the Marriage Act of 1961, well, I got an update:
Thank you for providing your thoughts on potential reform of section 50 of the Marriage Act 1961. The Attorney-General’s Department recognises that completing marriage paperwork in electronic form can result in duplication in order to meet the requirements of the Marriage Act and is open to considering potential amendments to accommodate developing technologies whilst ensuring appropriate record keeping is maintained. The issues you raise will be considered in the context of future amendments to the Marriage Act.
The Attorney-General’s Department works closely with all stakeholders to look at possible improvements to the program. As you note, the Department has developed a fact sheet with the assistance of stakeholders on ‘Marriage Celebrants in an Online Environment – June 2019’ and a quick reference guide. The department can be contacted about issues relating to the regulation of marriage celebrants by emailing marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au.
The Department recognises that technology is evolving. Three state BDMs are now receiving marriage documents via electronic submission, and some couples and celebrants are now completing marriage paperwork in electronic form.
The Department acknowledges that completing marriage paperwork in electronic form can result in duplication in order to meet the requirements of the Marriage Act and is open to considering how section 50 of the Marriage Act can be enhanced to meet changing technologies whilst maintaining appropriate record keeping of solemnised marriages.
There are more than 30,000 authorised marriage celebrants in Australia. These include ministers of religion for recognised denominations, officers from states/territories, and people authorised under the marriage celebrants program. Any consideration of amending section 50 of the Marriage Act will need to accommodate all authorised celebrants.
The Department maintains a list of Marriage Act issues which can be considered subject to a suitable legislative vehicle being available. Your suggestion will be added to this list.
### Contingency/death planning for celebrants
I know this can be an icky topic, but it's an important one and I'm glad Peter raised it:
Now I’ve reached the stage of life where I have a mortgage and a family I figure it’s time to put a grown up will in place.
This got me thinking about what instructions I need to leave for my surviving relatives and the obligations that they have not only to comply with the law but to also ensure a smooth transition for my couples.
I was wondering if you guys have any tips or could give a basic overview of what process you guys have in place?
There are two important domains here: legal obligations for family members, and general planning for death or injury of a celebrant.
Legal obligations
The obligations on family members have changed dramatically in the last couple of years. In the 1963 Marriage Regulations, our obligation to keep all marriage paperwork for six years was passed on to our families when we died or became permanently incapacitated. The 2017 Regulations turned off this obligation. So if you die or become permanently incapacitated, your family (or whoever is looking after your affairs) can simply destroy all of your documents with no issue.
Contingency planning
I have a contingency document that sits on my desk that basically says if there's a drama, call one of these two celebrants and hand over my passwords and files to them. Those celebrants are aware they're on the list and would just take over all the weddings and farm them out if need be. Definitely have more than one celebrant listed; what if that person is overseas or otherwise unavailable at the time there's an issue?
I've also listed details of my web designer and AdWords/SEO specialist so they can be contacted and told to turn all that stuff off.
The document also has my passwords for my computer, my password manager, and my iPhone listed on it, so whoever is looking after stuff can get into all of my files and accounts. Yes I'm aware this is not the most secure situation in the world, but I live alone and I'm generally the only person who ever comes into my office, and the document is hidden behind a bunch of other documents; you'd have to know it was there to look for it.
The thing I'm bad at is updating that document when things change; I've just looked at it and two of my email accounts aren't listed on it. I think that's an argument for keeping such a document as simple as possible so that it doesn't need to be updated too often, but it's probably good practice to update it once a year at least.
This stuff is important and we need to think about it!
### Names in the ceremony
Emma asks:
I have a Jane Brown (married name from her third marriage - the marriage I am looking after will be her fourth)
She uses the name Jane Brown in everyday use, and has Jane Brown on all her current documents. The only document she has with her maiden name (Jane Smith) is her birth certificate.
She has asked if I can use her maiden name, Jane Smith, in the ceremony on the day?
She is happy for Jane Brown to be typed on all her documents as she will be changing her name to her new married name after the wedding anyway, and thinks it will be an easier paper trail if her marriage certificates state Jane Brown.
First things first: I've changed the names here to protect Emma and her client's confidentiality!
Unfortunately what this bride has requested is not allowed. The names used in the ceremony (either before or during the legal vows) must be the same as the names used on all the paperwork. The purpose of including the parties' full names at some point in the ceremony is to identify to everyone present (particularly the witnesses and the celebrant) that the people getting married are indeed the people named on the documentation.
P71 of the Guidelines has this to say on the matter:
Celebrants should use the parties’ full names (usually given name/s and surname) at some stage during the ceremony, preferably early in the ceremony, for the purpose of legal identification of the parties. The full name of the parties will be the names recorded in the NOIM.
Emma came back to me with a follow-up question:
Can all certificates be printed in her maiden name and then her maiden name be stated in ceremony? Even though the only document she has with her maiden name is her birth certificate??
The answer is yes, but it requires sighting more paperwork. To use her birth name, a celebrant would need to see evidence that that birth certificate belongs to her. The only way we can do it that is by seeing a form of photo ID in that same name, with the photo of the woman standing in front of you on it, or by seeing the full chain of evidence of her name changes throughout her life. In this instance, we'd need to see her birth certificate (in her maiden name, Jane Smith), all her marriage certificates and all her divorce certificates if she changed her name after every marriage (to show the trail of her name changes), and her photo ID (in her current name, Jane Brown).
If she can change her driver's licence back to her birth name now, we could use her birth name, because then we'd have her birth certificate for proof of date and place of birth, her driver's licence to show us that birth certificate belongs to the person standing in front of us, and her latest divorce cert to show she's free to marry.
(Yes, the Guidelines do say that parties can use whichever name they want as long as we give them written advice about the difficulties they may face if their documents don't line up, but I'd still want to see evidence that a person is currently using the name they want to write on their marriage documentation, and this bride didn't have that.)
### When wanting to be featured or talked about, know this one thing
A favourite read of mine is the regular Susbtack email from Ariel Stalling. You might know her name from a little blog called Offbeat Bride.
In this week’s mailout, Ariel tells the story of how someone a little bit like her was covered in the New York Times.
Before I actually read the words in the piece I thought Ariel was telling the story about how she was covered in the New York Times which would’ve been kind of cool, but then when you sit down and read it you realise that someone slightly similar to her with a really good publicist was covered in the Times instead.
Why?
Whenever you see something like this published, always ask “Why?”
At first read you might think that the other person had a great publicist who was owed a favour at the newspaper maybe, or that the person’s story was actually interesting enough to feature on its own merit.
But the real reason why is far simpler and easier to understand.
Newspapers like the NYTimes, or Australian websites like 10Daily or news.com.au all want one single thing: clicks.
Clicks!
Clicks means views on articles, views on articles means views on ads, views on ads means money, money means we’re not dining out at the homeless shelter this week.
If you want to be featured in a website like that you need to have, or be, a story that when published will gather all the clicks.
How to do this is a whole other conversation.
Know what moves us
If you wanted to be published on the Celebrant Institute you should know that clicks don’t interest Sarah and I. If an article goes “viral” and gets more views than we have members, then that is lovely, but its not our goal.
Our goal is to continue to make our membership viable and valuable to our members, so members remain members, and hopefully the membership might even grow!
So if you really wanted to get our attention, become a member.
Know what moves others
But if you want to get the attention of other people, know what moves them.
If you want a vendor to refer you, find out what makes them tick. Do they need help with something in their business, or maybe babysitting?
If you want to be featured on a local wedding blog, magazine, podcast, social media page, bring them a story that will get their readerships talking and commenting.
If you want your own posts to get the likes and the comments, publish stories that light up peoples eyes. Say things that matter, converse about topics that help people.
And if you want to be featured in the New York Times, apparently writing a book, running a successful business, and building a massive and passionate community doesn’t matter, clicks do, so bring them a story that brings all the clicks.
Be able to be remarked on
Be remarkable, that is, be someone that is able to be remarked on. Be someone doing something that people would want to talk about without you asking for it.
Know this one thing
That no-one owes you a feature or a referral, so do something that matters to them, help them.
### What are the ABIA awards? A guide for celebrants
A reader asks:
I've noticed the ABIA awards presentation nights have been occurring but what is the ABIA awards and how do people win the ABIA awards? What is the scoring based on? I see these marks of 99.93 etc.
I’ll answer this question on behalf of ABIA, then with my own opinion.
What are the ABIA Awards?
The ABIA Awards have over twenty years of heritage in the Australian wedding industry. The awards are an institution owned and operated by the Australian Bridal Industry Academy, or, ABIA.
The awards are issued by ABIA at their regular award nights held in each state, then annually at the ‘National Designer of Dreams’ awards night.
You don’t need to be a member or an attendee to win an award. Attendees obviously have the opportunity to receive the award in front of other attendees, but the benefit to being a paid member of ABIA is that ABIA members “receive a branding license, this permits members to promote the ABIA Brand, inclusive of its trading name and ABIA Award Logos as per the business' relative achievement.”
How do celebrants win ABIA Awards?
You need to register with ABIA so you have a username/password - this is different to paid membership which has a list of benefits - and once you have a logon you submit each wedding’s details to ABIA and they will contact the couple asking for them to rate you.
ABIA’s promise/claim is that only legitimate wedding clients can rate you.
What is the ABIA scoring based on?
Each vendor for a registered wedding is rated, judged, measured, by four different “pillars”:
The Quality of your Service
The Quality of your Product
The Value for Money
The Attitude of Staff
I haven’t seen a rating form, but I’m assuming that on each measure you are rated out of 100, then the four numbers are averaged, and you end up with a score not dissimilar to the 99.93 you mention.
The result of such a system gives you a winner with a score of 99.95% as an example, a runner up with 99.94, and a not-winner/loser/finalist of 95.55.
What’s my issue with the ABIA Awards and why are you such a terrible person, Josh?
I’ve got three issues with the ABIA Awards, and other awards systems in general.
There are two types of industry awards
There are awards for marketing purposes and awards for merit.
Apple recently released its “Best of 2019” app awards. This awards system is an awards system for marketing purposes. The awards are given to serve Apple’s marketing efforts. The entire process is designed to keep all of the cogs turning in Apple’s favour. The Apple app awards are marketing for Apple.
In comparison, the Academy Awards are judged by the over 6000 members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. All 6000 odd judges are in the industry. Winning an Oscar is based on merit, and if you win, it may well be a feather in your cap you can use for future marketing, but its merit-based, not marketing based.
I’m ok with awards for marketing purposes, like the ABIAs are for ABIA, but let’s not make out like they are based on merit.
The judges, as beautiful and lovely as they are, are arguably the least qualified people to judge you and I on our merit. After all, they have statistically only had one wedding, theirs, which they are hopefully biased toward. Plus the people they are voting on, the couple have already paid their invoices, so even in the event that the vendor was just ok, there is a sunk cost where the judging couple will justify their expense with an above average vote.
If you look through most restaurant or hotel reviews, the positive reviews are short and sweet, but the bad reviews resemble novels. It’s quite hard for the average person to really accurately, articulately, and positively judge a wedding celebrant, particularly when they’ve only ever hired one, and maybe they’ve only seen four or five who they might have really taken note of.
My argument is that I desperately want to be nominated for, and hopefully win, an award based on my merit as a celebrant, but there is not a wedding industry award system in Australia today that offers that.
The money ruins the vibe
Money can really stink up a relationship. So even though the ABIAs are still available to be won by non-paying members, you don’t get the license to use the ABIA name, so I’m wondering if that even opens you up to possible legal action if you win an award, promote on your internet properties that you won said award, then write an article like this that they wouldn’t like?
For merit-based awards the nominees need to reach a criteria, but there’s no money on the table, otherwise eyebrows would be raised at the merit-based approach.
The ranking system ruins the vibe
First, second, third, and onwards is a great way to award race winners.
It’s very clear to see that the person who crossed the line first was the fastest.
But in creative industries there is no first and second and third.
If you’re the first best celebrant, and I’m the second, what does that even mean?
In an industry where we are creating something intimate, meaningful, purposeful, and beautiful, where does a gold medal for coming first even fit in?
If a couple are looking and a first and a second place holder, should they automatically book the number one winner? If that celebrant isn’t available, should they reluctantly book that celebrant, and then keep heading down the list until the 5,673rd best celebrant in Australia is available for that Saturday in October?
Creatives are better, celebrants are better, than submitting ourselves to that kind of system
The awards need to matter
If, when we met in person, I introduced myself as Josh Withers, five time Billockery award winner - would that matter? If you saw the Billockery award logo on my website, would that make you book me?
This same line of questioning applies to any of these titles, and if you firmly believe that your target demographic of people you would like to book you, deeeply care about a title like “Finalist in the Billockery Awards 2019” then do anything you can to get one of my fictional awards.
In fact feel free to download this made up logo and share it around if you like.
What kind of awards system would be awesome?
I don’t mind the star rating system, three or five star, a’la Facebook and Google, but you’ll find the large majority of reviews on those platforms are either five stars or one star. The two, three, and four star reviews are few and far between, which showcases that problem with customers reviewing businesses. They often do not hold a nuanced view, or the insight to cast a two or three star rating.
The pizza was either good, or bad. Five star or one star.
There’s an employee review system where you are asked to rate people on a scale of 1-10, but you can’t use 7 - because so many people would rest in the polite area 7 allowed. Because again, these systems are all so human and so weird.
So what kind of system would I submit myself too?
One where there isn’t a grading system that pits us against each other like sprinters in a race.
One where the judgement was well qualified, where the people casting judgement or rating didn’t hold a majority of the power, but also they had a worthy opinion of my craft and what makes a great or a not-so-good celebrant. That kind of quorum might be populated by peers in celebrancy, but also from the wider industry. I love hearing what my friend Glenn Mackay has to say about celebrancy, and I think some wait staff or venue staff would have valuable insight. Clients who we’ve married have valuable insight into the entire customer journey, so that’s extremely valid, but it needs to be weighted against the fact that I’m the only celebrant they’ve hired, and maybe I am literally the only perfect celebrant for them - but what about the other 130,000 odd weddings happening across the country, am I the best for them? I’d say no.
Gathering those kind of people together would require so much of their time and effort, and honestly I’d feel like a criminal taking that from them without recompense, so then the big ol’ money thing turns up again.
Which leads us back to the rough end of the blog post where I simply say I have no idea what the solution for a good awards system is, but I don’t believe it’s ABIA or the Bride’s Choice Awards (if only because the name literally implies that groom’s can’t vote and that’s an antiquated view of the industry).
Maybe the solution is for us to cease seeking community validation, or maybe it’s for us, the community, to give more of it.
Either way, you’re the adults now, so go and do what’s right - maybe for you that’s an ABIA Award nomination.
### Please put the (sales) gun down!
A quick Saturday morning flick through the social media feeds showed me six celebrants doing a bad thing on social media.
They’re not breaking the law, and in their minds they’re not doing a bad or evil thing. Many people would see the same thing I did and think it’s perfectly fine.
But my advice would be to stop.
Please put the gun down, and stop getting on social media and shooting us all up with your sales, your deals, and your selling!
Of course if you’ve got a deal, post away, that’s what I did on Black Friday. But I would encourage you to make sure that 99% of your posts on social media aren’t advertising deals and offers, with packages and prices.
Instead, take to heart the words “social” and “media” and if you like, what it used to be called, which was social “networking”.
If you’re opening up LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Twitter, Wordpress, WeChat, pr some other app today, be those three things.
This isn’t some newfangdangled methodology, just open your dictionary:
Social
“relating to society or its organisation”
“needing companionship and therefore best suited to living in communities”
“an informal social gathering, especially one organised by the members of a particular club or group”
Media
“the main means of mass communication (broadcasting, publishing, and the Internet) regarded collectively”
Networking
“the action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts”
Stop selling
Stop the selling, and the advertising, and the shouting, and the yelling.
Start relating to society and its organisation.
Start needing companionship. Start being best suited to living in community.
Start broadcasting and publishing.
Start interacting with others to exchange information. Start developing professional contacts.
Start developing social contacts.
Stop shooting up the social networks with your ads and start being social media and social networking.
If it doesn’t work, I’ll give you your money back plus 10%.
### Parents' names on the NOIM. Part 3
I've written before about recording parents' names on the NOIM, and the fact that parties seem to be able to write anything they want according to the current Guidelines. A new question came up recently though that I think it's worth discussing here.
Party to the marriage is completing their NOIM and has advised me that:
1) her father is not listed on her birth certificate or any other official/legal documents relating to her identity
2) she knows who her father is, and they are involved in each other's life
I'm aware we don't have to check evidence of parents names - so just wanted to double check that I am correct in advising that she should list her father on the NOIM despite him not appearing on her birth certificate (as to write 'unknown' would be to knowingly make a false statement on the NOIM)?
According to the current Guidelines she can definitely write him on.
However my personal preference in this case is to leave him off, but to write Not Listed rather than Unknown. She does know who he is, so Unknown is not accurate. However he's not listed on her birth certificate, and if she was born in the same state she's getting married in, BDM might compare the two documents and say hey, your dad's not listed on your birth certificate, so you can't list him on your marriage certificate.
I really wish parents' names were being removed from the marriage paperwork so we could avoid all of this, but the latest advice is that they're back on. Sigh.
### Communicating timelines with couples
Alex asks:
My question is regarding communication with couples - specifically timelines.
Before I became a Celebrant I remember hearing a few off-hand remarks from a family friend and also a cousin about their Celebrants. The general feedback was that they never heard from their celebrant after booking them, had no idea what to expect (for example commented “we hadn’t heard from her in 4 months”) and both had doubts about how the day would run.
I was horrified! To me, managing expectations is super important but I also understand it may be different with each couple.
So my question is - sorry it took me a while to get there - do you have any advice on how you communicate a “timeline of events” with the couple - or can you provide an example of one? And also advice for me on ceremony writing....how soon before the wedding do you start it and if requested or preferred by the couple when do you send a first draft for them to review, and how soon before the ceremony do you “lock everything in?”
Sarah’s reply
'm completely upfront with my couples about a timeline, in everything from my discussions with them to my emails to them.
So as an example, when they decide to go ahead and book me, the email they get with instructions to access my booking system closes with the following paragraph:
“My usual process after this is all completed is to meet with you both about three months before the ceremony to complete the legally required paperwork and start working on your ceremony, but I'm always available if you need any information or have any questions before then. I'll be in touch later three months before your ceremony to organise our next meeting.”
And then once they've paid their booking fee and I'm sending out my Ceremony Builder Booklet, which is essentially the last communication they'll receive from me before the three months before their wedding point, it closes with:
As always, please don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions at all. I'll be in touch three months before your ceremony to organise our next meeting.
So I'm always reminding them that that's the next time they'll hear from me.
In terms of timelines, you can find my entire process here.
Josh’s reply
I’ve talked a few times about how I view my process and business as delivering a journey, I call it my customer journey. One of the driving forces behind my journey is because I heard similar stories to your cousins. So many stories about celebrants and I desperately wanted to be better than that, so I crafted a journey that I believed would fight that vibe, and I intentionally take each couple, even friends and family, down the same path.
I won’t detail the path today, because the individual steps don’t matter in regard to your question.
The important note is that there is a journey, and you are leading the couple on that journey.
It’s about being proactive instead of reactive.
So I lay out, in super simple terms, what our relationship will look like the whole way long.
When they enquire and I’m available I’ll say something like:
I’d love to Skype or meet to talk through any questions or ideas you’ve got, and when you’re ready to book me in, ”instructions on how to book me in”.
Then when they’ve booked me in, I’ll acknowledge and thank them for inviting me into their wedding, but then say:
The next step from here is to fill out this form so I can begin preparing your notice of intent for you.
Always acknowledging their question or action, then providing a next step.
I like to think of it as a game of tennis, and my only objective is to get the ball back onto their side of the court.
Every email, phone call, text, meeting, ends with an action point, or an acknowledgement that there are no more action points, or that the next action point is 12 months away.
That’s not to say that everyone listens, but at least if I’m ever queried on it, it’s in writing that the next thing to do, was for them to do something.
As for the actual timeline, once they’ve booked me I want the following journey to take place:
they send me info to prepare the NOIM, this is through a form in Dubsado.
if we’re within 18 months of the ceremony, I’ll prepare the NOIM and email them a PDF to check for errors or corrections.
if we can meet in person we make a time to meet and sign the NOIM, or, I give them instructions on what to do with the NOIM
one to three months out from their ceremony we’ll meet to plan their ceremony
in the seven days before their ceremony we’ll touch base, phone, or Skype, or email if need be, to confirm final details
I marry them
So as we are communicating I’ve always got that timeline in my mind and even if the email isn’t about anything on that timeline, I’ll reinforce like this:
It’s totally ok to have Jason Momoa do a reading and interpretive dance at the ceremony. While I’ve got you, I’m still waiting for the information I need to prepare your notice of intent. If you can get that form filled out soon so I can get your legal paperwork prepared. Here’s a link to that form.
Always putting the ball back in their court.
### Witnessing the NOIM via videoconferencing
This article is out of date. Here is the latest information.
With the release of the new fact sheet about marriage celebrant obligations in an online environment, we're receiving a lot of questions about whether the rules about witnessing a NOIM over Skype, Facetime, Zoom, or any other videoconferencing platform have changed. Like this one:
With the new law, we are able to sight their identification online, so can we do the same if they sign the documents in front of us but online? So signing in America, we watch them do that over Skype, then they mail us the form, and we sign NOIM and date when we watched them sign over Skype.
The quick answer here is no.
We've never been able to witness the signatures on a NOIM via videoconferencing, and that hasn't changed. This is because the Marriage Act specifically says the NOIM must be signed "in the presence of" an authorised witness, and "in the presence of" means in person, not electronically.
The Guidelines have this to say on the matter (on page 40):
An authorised celebrant or other person (see 4.9.1) is not able to ‘witness’ the signing of a NOIM over Skype or other electronic means as the NOIM is to be signed in the ‘presence’ of the authorised celebrant or other person.
Also just a semantics note; this is not a new law, it's a new application of an old law to the Marriage Act. The Electronic Transactions Act was released in 1999, so it's actually been possible to do all these weird and wonderful things for 20 years, it's just that nobody insisted on applying it to the Marriage Act before this year.
### Contacting our local MP about the now redundant requirement of two official marriage certificates
On this week’s podcast episode I talked about contacting our local member of parliament to request a change to the Marriage Act of 1961.
The act requires two official certificates of marriage be prepared, which in a digital age where we’re creating PDF certificates, is a little redundant.
I’m also calling for the old school requirement for the declaration to be “on the reverse side” of the certificate, only because a PDF does not have sides.
So here’s a letter you can amend to your personal details and email off to your local Member of Parliament because that’s how we change the world.
The letter
Your letterhead
Date
Addressed to your local member of parliament
My name is … and I am a Commonwealth Authorised Marriage Celebrant in your electorate, I reside at…
In my role as a marriage celebrant I spend a lot of time working within the confines of the Marriage Act of 1961, and although there has been some extremely positive change in the last two years regarding that legislation, there remains a slight administrative problem.
The current Section 50 of the Marriage Act is an extra administrative burden on Authorised Celebrants, and given this government's agenda to reduce regulation, I would offer that removal of these two conditions to the solemnisation of a marriage would go some way to ease that regulation.
The first piece of legislation is the Marriage Act of 1961 Section 50 Part 1b "Where an authorised celebrant solemnises a marriage ... the authorised celebrant shall prepare 2 official certificates of the marriage.”
The modern marriage celebrant is submitting marriage paperwork to their state BDM electronically, and retaining the PDFs they submit, plus many of us are signing the paperwork digitally on a computer tablet, so a second official certificate of marriage is no longer required. For further information on this, the Attorney-General's department has issued a fact sheet titled "Authorised celebrant obligations in an online environment”.
I propose that Section 50 Part 1b be simply removed.
The second piece of legislation is the Marriage Act of 1961 Section 50 Part 3 where it states "One of the official certificates or the official certificate, as the case may be, shall be on the reverse side of the paper bearing the declarations made by the parties under section 42.”
In an online environment the "reverse side of the paper bearing declarations" is not something that really exists. A PDF cannot have a reverse side.
Given that the Attorney-General's office has acknowledged the Electronic Transaction Act 1999 and it's implications on the paperwork surrounding marriage solemnisation, I propose that these two elements of the Marriage Act are redundant legislation, unnecessary regulation, and an inhibitor to marriage celebrants operating in an online environment.
Name
Commonwealth Civil Marriage Celebrant
### Where do all the people come from?
Jeff asks:
When you look back on leads, what seems to be working? Do you have a rough breakdown of where/how couples are finding you? Do you find Instagram/Facebook ads work? Venue referrals? The Google...?
There’s no single good answer to this question today, so I’m not going to answer it directly, but instead share a model I continually reference and always update.
I need to be aware that the moment I write off something new, a new product, or social network, or feature of an app, that’s the very second I start becoming irrelevant to a market that is sailing further and further away from my demographic. So I subscribe to email newsletters and listen to podcasts that feature new technologies, apps, features, communication strategies, social networks. When a new social network or app launches that is gaining some buzz, I sign up and try to keep abreast of it.
I follow the trends, but also the general community talk, about where people are today. I feel like there’s a lot of opinion about people being or not being on different social networks, so I try to get the information from the horses mouth and ask people in the demographic I would like to serve, what they are using, what they love and don’t love. Because in the end I have to be active where they are, to be even noticed, let alone considered.
When I know where I should be, I set out to master it, to own it, to be the best me I could be on that platform.
And finally, on that platform, I recognise it’s for free, so I put some money towards ads or boosting there. For two reasons, one because it increases visibility if targeted right, secondly, in a world where no-one wants to pay for anything, when you pay $1 you’re immediately in the top percentile of customers and algorithmically those networks show you some love.
So currently my model is telling me to be more active on Facebook than most networks, because businesses have left Facebook, while users haven’t. I am continually active on Instagram, but focusing on IGTV because it’s a new feature and Instagram is boosting it. I’m playing around with TikTok but haven’t mastered it yet, and I’m keeping my eye on smart speakers to see if there’s an opportunity there in the future.
### Is there room at the top of the market?
Jeff asks:
A general price question: when you both set your prices (to their current rates), were you/are you in line with what others charge or are you much higher? Pretty sure I’m the highest priced officiant in my region of 500,000 folks, but @ $650/ceremony I’d have to perform about 27 weddings/week to go legit. That doesn’t work. I have right around 75 weddings on the books for 2019 and it’s great since this is a side hustle, but I want to make the leap but for suuuure can’t at this rate. I’m hesitant because if I jump up to $800-$1000 I’ll literally be charging more than double the price or most others...but I guess someone has to be most expensive, I might as well be that guy...was just curious your thoughts on that.
This is a common struggle amongst the self-employed, Jeff, so if nothing else I hope you know that you’re in good company.
When I started I did the same stupid thing everyone does, I googled for celebrant prices and charged the average back then, which was $550.
Every price increase from that was me trying to walk and chew gum at the same time. I would be working as a celebrant, charging a rate, realising it wasn’t sustainable and I was sure to burn out soon, so I’d increase the price, and realise I’m still unsustainable.
That brought me to $1500 Australian Dollarydoos.
When I began charging $1500, my understanding was that no other full time operating celebrant was charging anywhere near that. There was a handful of “celebrity” celebrants like weathermen and personalities who would charge $2000 and maybe only do 10 weddings a year, but none of my peers were charging that rate.
It was hard, people that were shopping around found my price offensive, but people who were looking for someone like me, when they found me, they would book me. The burden of charging that price is to be continually communicating your story, who you are, making sure everyone knows what you are about and what you deliver, and why that matters.
There is a wide gamut called the market, and there’s room for all of us on there. I look at it like whisky. There’s always going to be cheap whiskies, and medium priced whiskies, but those top shelf spirits are top shelf for a reason. They’ve been around a long time, and they’re not going anywhere, and when you take a sip, it’s always good.
Cheap whiskies might be popular but top shelf whiskies are sought after. People save up to buy them. That’s whisky business. Pun intended.
In any industry there will always be people racing to the bottom of the market, and every single one of them will lose, even if they win because they’ve won at charging the least.
But up here at the top of the market, the air is a little thinner, and things require a little bit more work, but it’s good for your soul and good for your brain.
The race to the top of the market is one you can easily win, if only because no-one else is running it.
### One of the greatest voids in the world today is original content
A repetitive theme in my writing is the encouragement for you to create your own content. I really do believe that creating original, helpful, relevant, personal, content is a majorly easy way for you to have a win today.
A common response is that it’s hard work to make content, let alone any quantity of content.
If that’s you, then you need to grab a coffee and sit down and digest Gary Vee’s 270 page slide deck on how to make 64 pieces of content a day, and it’s not that hard.
How To Make 64 Pieces Of Content In A Day from Gary Vaynerchuk
### 2018 marriage and divorce statistics, 5.5% increase
The annual release of marriage and divorce statistics by the Australian Bureau of Statistics occurs every year around 27 November. Right on time, the statistics for the full calendar year 2018 were released today at 11.30am. If you're interested you can find all the information on the ABS website.
Because I am a massive nerd (as we all know) these statistics always fascinate me, and this year is no different. Here's my highlights for 2018:
Numbers
there were 119,188 marriages in Australia, an increase of 6,234 (5.5%) from 2017
6,538 (5.5%) marriages were between couples who could not marry prior to 9 December 2017
this means the increase in marriages is entirely attributable to marriage equality, and I think that's pretty awesome
69 marriages were registered in which one or both parties identified as neither male nor female (selecting X on the NOIM); they've been included in the total marriage numbers but not the same-sex marriage numbers (because they're not couples who have the same sex/identify as the same gender)
slightly less heterosexual couples were married in 2018 (235 less than 2017)
Age
the median (middle) age of marrying parties has been slowly creeping up, but there was a greater than usual increase in 2018, which can again be attributed to marriage equality
the median age across the board was 32.4 years for males and 30.5 years for females
the median age for heterosexual couples was 32.1 years for males and 30.2 years for females
the median age for same-sex couples was 44.9 years for males and 39.3 years for females; this is absolutely not surprising given there were many couples marrying after being together for YEARS
Marriage rites
79.7% of marriages (up from 78%) were conducted under the rites of the Marriage Act 1961, i.e. they were civil marriages as opposed to religious marriages
unsurprisingly, 98.9% of same-sex marriages were civil
Divorce
there were 72 divorces of same-sex couples (0.1% of all divorces)
these were almost certainly all couples that were married overseas before the law changed in Australia, and therefore were not able to access the Australian divorce system previously (you get divorced in the country you live in, not the country you got married in)
There you have it! Sarah's massively nerdy highlights of the 2018 marriage and divorce statistics. Let me know if you found any other information of interest!
### The one with the solid tangent
It's a month until Christmas and here we are again with another episode of your favourite podcast! This episode Josh and Sarah chat about the latest newsletter from MLCS, our thoughts about OPD into the future, our obligations in an online environment, not stressing too much about the smaller details of the marriage paperwork, and how to bring the magic to every single ceremony.
### Payments direct from clients to celebrants
Kylie asks:
I seem to remember in and OPD once that there was discussion on how payment must come from the couple direct to the celebrant, and not through a third party such as a venue, or a planner.
The vast majority of weddings in the Whitsundays are packaged up so the venue includes the celebrant fee and we invoice said company.
The OPD trainer suggested that it was in the Act that we are to receive direct from client however I couldn't find this myself. Please help!
Recently one of the local wedding planners has become insolvent. Many brides and suppliers are hurting right now. The business for a small town was huge. Obviously if this is the law for payments to come from client to us direct, this is the perfect time for me to bring this to the attention of all other packaged celebrants, that we should un-package ourselves.
I have never seen anything in the current Marriage Act that even refers to payments between couples and celebrants, let alone dictates who it should or should not go to. In my personal view, it is definitely preferable that payment is made direct from couple to celebrant, both for the reasons the Whitsundays suppliers are suffering through at the moment, and also because it cements that the relationship is between the couple and the celebrant and no one else, and that can be important for the legal stuff. But I'm 99% sure there’s nothing in the Marriage Act or Regulations to that effect; if someone knows of something I've missed, please let me know!
### People hate ads
I’m eventually going to start sounding like a broken record, but we all need to get it into our head: ads as we used to know them no longer work.
People hate ads.
More to that point, when was the last time you clicked an ad? When was the last time you were watching a funny Facebook video, which was interrupted by an ad, and felt positively about that experience, felt positively about the advertiser, and then gone on to purchase the product or service?
When was the last time you were encouraged to spend money by an ad?
And if you aren’t clicking on ads, watching ads, and spending money because of ads, who is?
27% of internet users literally have pieces of software installed called adblockers which block ads.
There’s a better way
Tell your story to people who want to hear it. Let them know what you do so well that they can’t get it anywhere else. Tell them about your strengths and weaknesses, become vulnerable, and invest in them as they invest as you.
This is real life.
People want friends at their weddings, not slaves or nobodies.
### Making customer journeys easier, and inclusive, like Sephora
Cami noticed a change at a local makeup store, Sephora, recently:
https://twitter.com/cwillycs/status/1191420989415886848?goal=0_11621a10e3-f3dba42c1e-325232345&mc_cid=f3dba42c1e&mc_eid=%5BUNIQID%5D
Sephora has identified that not every customer desires the same journey, so they created a fork in the road to cater for two different personality types, so that more people could pay them money. They included more people in their customer journey. They included more people in their sales targets. They included more people in their revenue. This is what an inclusive business looks like.
What changes or choices could you be making to your customer journey to be more inclusive of people who think differently to you?
For me, I think I have leant too far away from telephone calls and conversations. I think I need to open myself up more to being more available on the phone.
How do you think you could change? How do you think you could be more inclusive?
### How to surprise a couple with a ceremony
Jeff asks:
When/how did you now it was ok to not share ceremony content with the couple but just have them trust you on the day of? Couples and guests really love what I put together (I guess I've figured out that much ha!) and I have lots of reviews that say it's great - removing the step of sharing content would literally make things faaaar easier, just wondering how to get couples on board with that or when it's ok to do that.
This is such a good question Jeff, and the answer is far deeper than you imagined.
When I became a celebrant I witnessed a common theme amongst celebrants where the normal mode of operation was that a couple who have never been married before, and have never planned a wedding before, who have never created a ceremony before, were given the job of creating a ceremony and approving a final draft of the ceremony script.
That was always an absurd thought to me. It’s like me walking into Ford and telling them how to build a car to sell me. I not only lack the skill and talent to build a car, I’m literally paying Ford to build a car, they’re car building experts, I really should trust them.
So that’s how I presented my celebrancy service.
Of course the ceremony is created in a personal manner, but the couple don’t know what makes a good ceremony or a bad one, and even if they think they do, they don’t know how to translate their taste in wedding ceremony into a ceremony designed to encourage, celebrate, and marry them.
So even if I interviewed them and went away and created a ceremony on my own, to then hand them a draft of a ceremony and expect them to give it the ok is ludicrous.
It’s like handing a script for the next Mission Impossible movie to me. I am a terrible actor, and I do not possess the skills to read a script well, to imagine how a script would play out in a film, and in the edit, and I especially do not possess the skills to judge whether a movie script is a good one or not.
So I don’t think that most couples have the required skills to accurately judge a wedding ceremony script.
They can fact check stories, names, dates, etc. But I would do that in person, or on the phone, checking that things line up well. I take copious notes on what they tell me to do, and not to do, and I make sure my plans match theirs.
Dealing with the surprise
A couple experiencing their wedding ceremony fresh on their wedding day isn’t a surprise unless you brand it as such.
I tell my couples that I have their wedding ceremony planned and it’s going to be awesome. If they have questions about it I let them know, but the underlying communication there is that I tell them what they need to know and the rest they will experience fresh on the day. I communicate that I have got this and all of my marketing, branding, and communication up until now has been of the theme that I am really good at this and that’s why you hired me.
So it’s not a surprise, it’s just me doing my job.
### Why we deliver the best Cert IV in Celebrancy Australia
If you're aspiring to be a celebrant in the near future, Sarah delivers the Certificate IV in Celebrancy with this very institute.
We’re lucky enough to have experienced, and to continue to experience the full breadth of celebrancy training, students contact us every day with questions their trainers and colleges are answering incorrectly or weirdly.
So we’re trying to do something different, better, dare I day great, in the celebrant training world with the Certificate IV for Celebrancy.
Here's ten reasons why I think we deliver the best Cert IV in Australia:
Sarah Aird regularly schools the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Commonwealth Attorney General's office on marriage law, so for the legal things she's a great person to learn under.
When I (Josh) am speaking into your life as a celebrant I'm not trying to duplicate myself, but encourage you to be the best you you can be.
Our training methodology is modern, friendly, and human.
Our celebrancy practice is inclusive, diverse, and progressive, so your prepared to run a celebrancy business in 2020, not 1920.
We actually believe that the celebrant profession needs more talented, skilled, professional, and profitable celebrants.
You get a Celebrant Institute membership as part of your training package.
We believe that celebrancy is a fun, meaningful, and purposeful profession and that's the spirit we're instilling in you when you train with us.
As we build the Institute we're aiming to be best, not the cheapest, which means we might still be in business for you to actually receive your assessment and Cert IV.
You'll be surrounded by likeminded students, and in the Institute, likeminded celebrants, successful, friendly, encouraging celebrants.
If you give us your email address, we promise not to spam you weekly like the other Cert IV in Celebrancy providers. Yes guys, I get your flippin emails and they are spam, please stop.
Find out more about becoming a celebrant today with our Cert 4 in Celebrancy.
### Josh’s ceremony inclusions
Jeff, a Canadian celebrant, asks:
I'm wondering what sections you two include in your ceremonies? I have a very similar trajectory for each ceremony, and add or subtract (readings etc) based on what the couple are looking for, but was wondering how others on the other side of the world do it!
Sarah answered Jeff’s question already, so I thought I’d weigh in as my ceremony creation method is a little different to Sarah’s and Jeff’s.
My entire method is focused on personal vows being the peak of the ceremony, based on the premise that there’s nothing good I can say that is better than anything you could say in your ceremony. So my job is to create an atmosphere for you to exchange vows in, bring you to that moment, and bring you out of that moment.
Before the ceremony
I gather the crowd together, get them seated as well as I can and give them a preflight instruction:
An encouragement to be with us in the ceremony, not just physically, but emotionally. If something good happens, clap, if something emotional happens, cry, just respond to the ceremony. Let us know that you care and that you’re here.
An encouragement to put phones and cameras away because it’s really hard to be present and responding to the ceremony if you’re trying to take photos. Luckily for us we’ve got Lauren here to take photos, etc.
An encouragement to make some noise as the couple enter the ceremony.
This is stage one in creating an atmosphere for vow exchange, one that feels natural, organic, warm, and friendly so the couple feel empowered to do something important.
This is also a side note that is important: I make changes to the ceremony location, seating, where we’re standing, etc, so that we’re not too close but more importantly, not too far away from the guests. There’s a sweet spot for feeling comfortable. Too far away and it feels like a stage performance that most people would feel awkward in, too close, and well, it feels too close.
Leading into the ceremony
People walk in, I encourage the crowd to make them feel welcome.
I treat the crowd like adults by not telling them when to stand and sit because this isn’t a church and I'm not their mum.
I ask the DJ or musician to leave the music playing at full volume until I start talking then they can start fading out. My voice is louder than their music overt the PA, but I won't be forced into a ceremony by the DJ, I’ll decide when to start once the couple are comfortable.
And I’ll usually start on a line not dissimilar to “If you are here to celebrate Jack and Jill getting married, and if you think it’s good, then let’s begin with an earth-shattering round of applause” so that serves as a segue between the entry and the ceremony.
Beginning the ceremony
I have three things I want to achieve before we enter the middle of the ceremony.
Let the crowd know why they are there
Let the couple know that we are all supporting them
Tell the couple what marriage is
The crowd
So I’ll begin by talking about how marriages don’t exist in a vacuum, but they exist in community, and we have gathered our community together for this occasion, and that the fact that Jack and Jill are standing here today is their fault because they made them who they are. Depending on the crowd and the couple’s feeling towards them I’ll do something around asking them to be their cheer squad, or maybe something about the family, and a commitment around that. It’s a fun but meaningful positioning that communicates to the couple that this isn’t just any wedding, but an important wedding and a marriage that they are privileged to be invested in.
The marriage
My goal here is to communicate how simple yet important their marriage is.
Simple because I desperately want for their marriage to be a blessing to them, emotionally and intellectually, something that empowers them and makes them better. Important for the same reasons.
In Australian marriage ceremonies here I’ll work in the monitum as well, as demonstrated here.
The middle
I’ll segue from the monitum into the middle of the ceremony by discussing how all of the rituals, traditions, bridal gowns and suits in the world don’t make you married, but your words do.
It’s around here that I’ll use that segue to invite a reading up if there is one. Often there is no reading.
From the reading I’ll give the couple to exchange vows, highlighting that this is just the beginning of their story and the secret to a good marriage is to continue speaking it into life as you are about to do right now.
The couple will exchange personal vows that I’ve helped them write, and then after the personal vows I’ll get them to exchange rings as they exchange the Australian legal vows.
In conclusion
Sometimes there’s a reading that is appropriate at the end of the ceremony, so we’ll do that now.
My final encouragement is to tell the couple that I, and their friends and family are really proud of them, and to pronounce them whatever they’re being pronounced, aka married.
Signing?
Sometimes I’ll do the signing straight away before the couple leave the ceremony, sometimes I’ll do it 10/15 minutes later.
Recessional
They walk down the aisle and the music plays.
### Sarah’s ceremony inclusions
Jeff, a Canadian celebrant, asks:
I'm wondering what sections you two include in your ceremonies?
ex: Processional
Intro/Welcome
Love Story
Declaration of Intent
Vows......etc
I have a very similar trajectory for each ceremony, and add or subtract (readings etc) based on what the couple are looking for, but was wondering how others on the other side of the world do it!
I suspect marriage ceremonies in Western countries are similar all around the world, because they'd be built based on Christian ceremonies. Here's my basic outline:
Processional
Welcome/Introduction (includes acknowledgement of wedding party, guests, people who've travelled a long way, and of those who couldn't be with us)
Family blessing and acknowledgement (I prefer to give both members of both families the opportunity to offer their support to the marriage, rather than just the bride's dad giving her away)
Your story
Readings/poems and/or rituals
The asking
The Monitum - must be before the vows (this is the legal statement that celebrants must make for marriages to be valid in Australia)
Vows (there are legally required vows and personal vows; about 50% of my couples include personal vows, the others just say the legally required words)
Ring ceremony
Declaration of marriage (interestingly not legally required)
Signing of certificates
Conclusion
Presentation of the couple to family and friends
Recessional
The bold bits are the ones that are legally required in Australia.
Jeff was nice enough to share with me that in Canada, the legal requirements for a marriage ceremony are essentially the declaration of intent (the “I do’s”) and the declaration of marriage, sign the license and you’re good to go! I'm always interested in how people get married in other parts of the world!
### Becoming a celebrant for a side hustle
There’s never been so much discussion about having a side hustle, and there’s never been a worse time to engage in one.
According to the Australia Talks National Survey, which involved a total of 54,970 respondents, one in four Australians are worried about losing their job in the next 12 months, and an even higher proportion, 37 per cent, are concerned about job security more generally.
Every week one or two potential new celebrants email or DM me about starting a celebrancy business as a side hustle, hoping to make a few dollars on the side to provide for their family's extra needs or to put some cash in the holiday account.
It’s understandable. In the past it was a common part time career for a mum, or a school teacher, to undertake and just do a few ceremonies a year.
But the world has changed, the wedding industry has changed, and the celebrancy profession has changed.
The problem with becoming a celebrant as a side hustle is that your side hustle is on the side, it’s not your primary focus, your day job has your attention and your resources, rightly so, they’re hopefully paying for them, and although a celebrancy career doesn’t start at full speed and every new business needs to grow from zero, I firmly believe that a good celebrancy business can’t stay a side hustle.
Why can't I be a celebrant on the side?
The advice I give potential new celebrants who contact me about becoming a celebrant as a side gig is this:
There are enough average and “ok” celebrants. There’s enough celebrants appointed who have lost the passion and lost the drive. There are too many celebrants who don’t care enough, and don’t put all of their mind, body, and soul into their ceremonies. We’ve got loads of celebrants who don’t reply to emails for days, who are burning out, and are too tired to be the celebrants their couples need them to be.
What we’re lacking in the celebrant population are celebrants who are going above and beyond.
The people we desperately need to become a celebrant need to eventually, one day, leave their day job, and dedicate their working hours to being a celebrant.
The people I would love to stand next to in the ranks of celebrancy are those that are outdoing me in working-hard for our couples. I would kill to lose a wedding to a celebrant who cared more than me. It would make me so glad to be sitting on the front page of Google next to other celebrants who delivered better ceremonies, better vibes, and better weddings than me. I would be so proud to be in healthy and friendly competition with celebrants who charged more than me, did more than me, earned more than me, and were just plain old better than me.
That’s who we need to become a celebrant.
I just believe that our couples deserve at least that from the person with not only the authority to marry them, but also with the mantle to create that moment where they become married.
If you’re planning on becoming a celebrant, let those plans extend to a place where one day you’ll leave your full time job and celebrancy will pay your way. I understand that might take months, years, even a decade, but I would encourage you to have it in your plan. For me it took four years to go from registration to full time. I’ve seen others do it in one. For you it might be 15. It’s not about whether you’re there yet, it’s about your desire and drive to be there one day.
The world doesn’t need to you to be a half-assed celebrant, we need you to be the best celebrant you can be.
### Dealing with difficult couples
A celebrant asks:
This has been the year of a handful of crazies, seriously. I'm thankful it hasn't just been me, others in the region have had the exact same experience with this weird 2019 trend of difficult couples. I tried firing one of the couples earlier this year because they were so difficult but they apologised a million times and talked me into staying on. The ceremony was actually a hit and they left a wonderful review, but it really makes me not excited to be there when there has been awkward conflict, or if the couple tries to control the content too much and tells me basically what they want me to say.
Are there any red flags that tip you off when you meet a couple that make you run? Have you ever met a couple where you did not hit it off at all, wanted to say no but they asked to book right away? Most of the difficult couples I've met are pretty normal through the beginning stages, but turn toward the crazy later on. Have you experience this? It's really draining...
Okay, get ready, possibly unpopular opinions on their way...
I guess my view with this is that our job is to facilitate weddings for couples, and sometimes that's going to be easier than others. It is draining and hideous dealing with some of these people, but our jobs and lives can't be amazing all the time, or we wouldn't really value the incredibleness when it does come. The difficult ones make me appreciate the easier ones, so from that perspective I'm grateful for the difficult ones! I don't have the luxury of turning down people who want to work with me; I have to pay my rent, and celebrancy is really my only income, so I'm not a great one for giving advice about red flags :)
When I'm whinging about couples I don't like, my mum always says "you don't have to like all your clients, as long as they pay their bill." I reckon that's pretty good advice!
I know it can be super difficult to get excited about turning up to a wedding when the couple has been difficult, but I'm a professional and will do my best work for every couple every time, even if I've complained about it all the way there and all the way home. It's my job to put my game face on and deliver the best ceremony I possibly can, with what they've given me to work with.
I differ markedly from Josh on this, but my view is that it's their wedding, not mine; if they want to basically tell me what to say, that's their prerogative. I'm a pretty expensive talking doll, but if they don't want to utilise my skills in writing a beautiful ceremony for them, but they still want to pay my bill, bring it on!
All of this shows me the importance of having wedding industry buddies; people you can whinge and vent to when clients suck, so you can whinge and vent all you like but when you get to dealing with them, you can put that game face on and give them what they need and want.
I'm not sure any of this is useful, because I guess I'm basically saying suck it up ;) I don't mean that in a rude way; we're pretty bloody lucky to work in this incredible industry where most of our work is incredibly fulfilling. Just imagine if you were still doing whatever you did before you worked in weddings; would the percentages of amazing work vs hideous work be better than what you deal with now?
The celebrant who asked this question responded with:
This is excellent. Thank you, and please pass along my thanks to mum for her great advice also haha
Your response was exactly what I was hoping for - something to force me to think a bit differently.
I want to deliver something great and feel like what I offer, in my style and for the right couple is great. But when a couple hires me and then tries to get me to perform a different product/style all together, completely stripping me of my creativity and taking me out of my wheelhouse I get a bit annoyed because I don’t think it’ll be as great as it could have been.
Now I’m just complaining haha!!
I was kind of relieved to get that response because I thought I might have completed offended the celebrant by being my usual very frank self :) And yes, I did thank my mum for her as always excellent advice.
### Can't access a birth certificate but has a passport!
Cass asks:
I’m marring a couple in October and one of them can’t find his birth certificate and he’s looked everywhere. He seems to think it can't get posted to him in time to fill out the NOIM. He only has a passport and not a drivers license or proof of age. Is there any other form of ID he can use like Medicare or like proof of residency? Sorry, I tried looking it up and can’t quite figure out how to use other IDs on the NOIM?
Passport is literally all he needs. To recap, parties need to provide:
Evidence of their date and place of birth through a birth certificate, passport, or a stat dec (in exceptional cases only)
Evidence of their identity, most easily through a form of photo ID
Passport provides both of those things.
Parties do NOT need to provide more than one form of identification; I know there are some RTOs that are teaching you need to see two forms of ID, but that's completely incorrect.
His passport alone is totally fine!
Also, he wouldn't need to have his birth cert by the time you complete the NOIM, only by the date of the wedding; you can accept a NOIM without seeing the identity paperwork, as long as you see it before the wedding. It's easier to do it all at once, but not required :)
### Online advertising just doesn't work the way we hope
There is a fascinating article on The Correspondent today about the next "dot com bubble" being online advertising.
The link is a long, but easy, and really (seriously) interesting read, but for the benefit of CI blog readers, I'll quote a few sections here.
It begins with a story from 17 years ago when Google was a baby company and search engine advertising was such a new idea. So many people were clicking on ads and they didn't even realise they were ads.
Eric Schmidt continued: "Our business is highly measurable. We know that if you spend X dollars on ads, you’ll get Y dollars in revenues." At Google, Schmidt maintained, you pay only for what works.
And they're in a meeting with Mel Karmazin, the president of Viacom, one of the largest media companies around town.
"I’m selling $25bn of advertising a year," Karmazin said. "Why would I want anyone to know what works and what doesn’t?" Leaning on the table, hands folded, he gazed at his hosts and told them: "You’re fucking with the magic."
The author goes on to set the scene for what the online advertising market was, and is today. The dollar amounts in this article are all USD, so add about 50% to get to Aussie dollars.
In 2018, more than $273bn dollars was spent on digital ads globally. Most of those ads were purchased from two companies: Google ($116bn in 2018) and Facebook ($54.5bn in 2018).
This scary nugget is dropped:
Harvard professor Shoshana Zuboff predicts a “seventh extinction wave”, where human beings lose “the will to will”. Cunning marketers can predict and manipulate our behaviour. Facebook knows your soul. Google is hacking your brain.
But the author offers a panadol incase that quote dragged up some fear.
I too used to believe that these tech giants were all-knowing entities. But while writing this story, I have come to realise that this belief is as wrong as it is popular.
He goes on to explain how a study on eBay's advertising seemed like online advertising was really successful for eBay, until this anecdote prepares us for the mind-blowing study still to come.
Picture this. Luigi’s Pizzeria hires three teenagers to hand out coupons to passersby. After a few weeks of flyering, one of the three turns out to be a marketing genius. Customers keep showing up with coupons distributed by this particular kid. The other two can’t make any sense of it: how does he do it? When they ask him, he explains: "I stand in the waiting area of the pizzeria."
They're explaining selection effect. That the people standing in line for a pizza were already wanting to buy a pizza, so giving them a flyer for that pizzeria was not actually effective advertising.
So they eventually get to a point where they convince eBay to stop advertising for a period of time.
The results were clear: all the traffic that had previously come from paid links was now coming in through ordinary links. Tadelis had been right all along. Annually, eBay was burning a good $20m on ads targeting the keyword ‘eBay’.
eBay was literally burning $20 million US dollars a month for nothing. That's almost $30 Aussie big ones. Now you're no eBay, but it's highly likely that your online advertising is doing about the same. That study about eBay, it's all here for your reading pleasure.
I've always had this gut feeling about business that everyone does everything because everyone does it. That it would be so rare for someone to have an original untested idea so we all just do the thing because everyone does that thing.
"I kind of had the belief that most economists have: businesses are advertising, so it must be good. Because otherwise why would they do it?"
You see, it turns out that all of these advertising networks are not personally programmed, but programmed by algorithms, designed to be automatically good for the advertising company, the Google or the Facebook. After all, if you were going to design a robot, you wouldn't design it to kill you would you?
It gets worse: the brightest minds of this generation are creating algorithms which only increase the effects of selection. Consider the following: if Amazon buys clicks from Facebook and Google, the advertising platforms’ algorithms will seek out Amazon clickers. And who is most likely to click on Amazon? Presumably Amazon’s regular customers. In that case the algorithms are generating clicks, but not necessarily extra clicks.
This is all really nice posturing, is what I'm sure you're thinking, but what does it all mean for me, and for you, the small business humans of the world?
Now we arrive at perhaps the most fundamental question: what, in the end, is there really to know in advertising? Can advertisers ever know exactly what their ad brings in?
The easy answer is no, because advertising, marketing, telling your story is an art - not a science. It's flirting and dancing and winking across the bar, forming relationships, and one day, one day later than today, getting married. But today you'll never know if the wink or the flirt worked. But if you don't wink and flirt, you'll be single forever.
It might sound crazy, but companies are not equipped to assess whether their ad spending actually makes money.
Because,
Beliefs formed on insufficient evidence seem tough to move.
And here we are at the end of the article without a saving grace or solution. I do have a grand idea, but it's not a new one.
I firmly believe that broadcasting, telling, our story about what we do, what we care about, what change we want to make in the world, and how that is relevant to potential clients is the most powerful marketing effort you can make. The better news is that the cost of telling your story is minimal. You can start with your phone and move on to better technology as you have the budget.
In 2013 I spent just over $25,000 in advertising because we were building our business and I didn't know what would work, so I tried everything. Each year we've spent less and less. This year we're on track to spend about $5000 a year on Facebook and Instagram marketing, which is basically remarketing our stories to people in our target demographic.
What's the difference between spending $25k on advertising and $5k? About the same revenue, with far less time at wedding fairs and phone calls from desperate sales executives.
My encouragement to you today is to save the dollars on advertising and invest the time into telling your story online. Being authentically you, creating a space for people to learn who you are and what you're about. Not just in your broadcast channels like Facebook and Instagram, but in the comments on other people's posts. In Facebook groups where you actually offer help, wisdom, and encouragement instead of sharing your website link every time someone asks if anyone knows a celebrant.
If that doesn't work out for you, I'll give you your money back.
### Getting the guests to obey you
Rox asks:
I recently had a ceremony which was in a very sunny/hot location, I asked the guests multiple times to move over to the ceremony area but they all resisted and stayed in the shade. I walked over and specifically asked them to move over and some did but some still didn't. It wasn't until the amazing but stern looking photographer waved her camera at them and asked them to move did they do so. I am a very outgoing and direct kind of gal (husband says bossy, I say leadership skills) but I couldn't get them to move. What's your tips?
Honestly, I've got nothing on this one. I would have done exactly the same thing Rox did: asked them a couple of times to move into the ceremony space, but if they didn't, I would have left it. Yes, it's a bit crap that they obeyed someone else and not the celebrant, but ultimately we can't force them to do anything they don't want to do.
I have tried guilt tripping guests on occasion - "you don't want Bride and Groom to think you don't love them, do you?" - but that only works sometimes (although it generally works well for getting people to sit in the seats).
I would chalk this one up to annoying people and move on to the next one :) Do any of you have any thoughts that could help Rox?
### "Authority for marriage despite late notice - not applicable"
A celebrant asks:
I'm confused about a tick box on the NOIM with these words beside it "Authority for marriage despite late notice - not applicable". It does not have an asterisk or dagger next to it for actioning (i.e. strike out words not required, or strike out if inapplicable). Can you advise when and what this should be actioned for please?
To be honest, I'm kind of confused about this box too.
I believe it’s connected to whether or not a shortening of time is granted or needed, but the words “not applicable” are pretty confusing. The Guidelines are silent on it and it’s something that has never been covered in any of the training or OPD I’ve done (even the compulsory OPD in 2015 that specifically focused on this version of the NOIM and shortenings of time didn’t mention it!) So I’ve ticked it if a shortening has been granted, but nobody has ever challenged me on it. I’ve checked with my training buddy and she thinks it’s nonsensical too. Ignore it!
### Evidence of divorces granted overseas
I've written before about how easy it is for parties to get a copy of their divorce order if they were divorced in Australia. I've also written about the changes in the 2018 Guidelines that allow us to accept a stat dec where evidence of a divorce granted overseas is impossible to obtain. This question is a bit along those lines. Shamini asks:
I have a groom who was married in Japan (he's Australian). He has been trying to get a copy of his divorce certificate but his ex in Japan isn't helping. He's still trying but asked if it doesn't get one before the wedding date can he sign a stat Dec? I know he's trying with the ex and I've advised to go to the Japanese embassy but what happens if by the wedding he still can't get one. Can he do a stat dec advising he's been to the embassy etc?
The answer here is basically no; if he can't get a copy of his divorce certificate from Japan by the date of the wedding, he can't get married on that date.
The new guidance around accepting stat decs in place of divorce certificates is only really a last resort option where it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a copy of the divorce certificate, for example if the building that holds the records has been destroyed in a war, or if the party is a refugee and is no longer able to contact the government that issued the divorce. It's really not for people who can't get a copy of their divorce order because it's going to take too long or cost money or whatever else.
I can't see any reason why it would be IMPOSSIBLE for a person who was divorced in Japan to not be able to get a copy of their divorce certificate. It may take some time, and it may cost some money, but none of that is a reason to not have to get one. I know this groom is working hard to get his divorce order, so it should be fine, but this is reminder to not ever let someone talk you out of following your legal obligations!
### Legals Only weddings: clarity for couples
Nat asks an excellent question that I've come across a few times:
How do you lock down clear processes for legals? I often have the issue of legals being pushed to a short and sweet without them paying for that. I respond to all legals only enquiries with clear dot points - where they occur, when and how long, what it entails etc. it almost ALWAYS though ends up with the couple angling for it occurring in a park/ air bnb etc. That’s fine- I add to my quote if that suits me however then it’s ‘oh only 5 minutes?’ Even after they’ve agreed to the terms of the service. I’m happy for them to add their personal vows etc but I don’t know how much clearer I can be about the bare bones wording. This happens to me all the time and I feel like I’m ripping them off when I get this response (when I’m not). Any advice on wording/ making it clearer? I hate the thinly veiled shock that they’re not having a ‘ceremony’ on the day.
All I can do here is tell you all what works for me, and hope that it might work for you :)
First off, a definition: when I say Legals Only when it comes to a wedding, I literally mean only the legal requirements. We complete the NOIM, a month later we meet again with two witnesses, we sign the DONLIM, I introduce myself and say the Monitum, they repeat after me to say their legal vows, I pronounce them married (not legally required but I do throw that in so they know it's actually happened!), and we sign the three marriage certificates. I usually do them at table 6 at Sugo, the restaurant near my house where I hold meetings, but for an additional fee I will go to their house or a park or whatever. I DO NOT add anything personalised (if they want to say personal vows and/or exchange rings, that's fine, go for it, but only if I don't have to do any work to make those things happen). I DO NOT make the table pretty, buy them a drink, offer them champagne, or make it special for them in any way, shape or form. I'm not saying you shouldn't do that, I'm just saying that's the way my Legals Only Ceremony works. 95% of the couples who book me for a Legals Only are having (or have had) a "wedding" at some other time, so they really just want to get the legalities deal with, they don't need it to be special.
Having said all that, how do I ensure my couples understand what I mean by Legals Only? It's pretty simple: I show them. I do differ from a lot of celebrants offering this type of wedding in that I meet with the couples to complete the NOIM and the booking process. I just find it easier than sending them a questionnaire and then completing the NOIM and getting them to print it and have it witnessed by someone and sending it back to me, etc etc etc. So they come to see me, and the first thing we do is that I talk them through the process, including showing them what's going to happen during the ceremony. It goes a bit like this:
To get married in Australia you have to be over 18, you can't be married to someone else, you can't be siblings, and you have to give consent. Do we meet all those factors? Yes, great. Today we're going to complete a Notice of Intended Marriage [I show them what it looks like]. This is you giving notice to the government through me that you want to get married in at least one month. The next time we meet, any day from [date in one month] onwards, you'll need to bring two witnesses with them. The only requirements for the witnesses is that they need to appear to be over 18, and they need to be able to hear and understand the ceremony. The first thing we'll do on that day is sign the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage, which is you again confirming there's no legal reason you can't marry: you're not married to someone else, you're not siblings, and you're over 18. Then we'll say the following words [at this point I literally show them the page in my information booklet with the "script" written on it - see below]: I'll introduce myself as the authorised celebrant, I'll recite the Monitum, which gives the definition of marriage in Australia, you'll both repeat after me to say your legal vows, we sign some documents, and you're married. That's it. Is that enough?
That last part of the conversation is super important: asking them if what I've just shown them is enough. 99% of the couples say yes, absolutely. But even if they're happy with it, they often express surprise that that's all there is, that it's so quick and easy. It's much better to get that surprise out the way at this stage, before we get to the ceremony day or the lead-up.
For the 1% that say "but where does Dad walk me down the aisle, and where do my bridesmaids stand?" I can just say, "oh, that's not what I mean when I say Legals Only. You're looking for my Short & Sweet Ceremony," and then I go on to show them that script, and they're always happy to go up the step.
This method, actually showing them the script, has worked for me with no problems at all in the several years I've been offering Legals Only weddings. Yes, I've had some couples who have essentially thrown a full wedding, which annoys me, but they haven't expected me to deliver any more than what they've booked (I've just felt awkward delivering 124 words to 50+ people, so I now limit it to 10 guests unless by prior arrangement).
When I rang and had a chat to Nat about how she was managing her process, she admitted she tells them that there are only 124 words, but she doesn't show them what those words are. I really do think that people have no concept of how little 124 words actually is, and until you show them, they just won't know what you mean.
So that's my advice! Show them what they're getting, have a clause in your contract that the ceremony will only encompass the legally required wording, and if at any point they start to push back that they want more, be strong enough to explain they'll need to upgrade to the next level of ceremony that you offer. You can do it!
PS: I often hear from celebrants that they've ended up doing more work than they're being paid for, whether it's because "they just wanted something short and sweet so I gave them a discount, and now they're wanting four rituals and five readings and the ceremony is going to take an hour", or "I agreed to do the legal stuff with their friend delivering the ceremony, so I gave them a discount, but now I'm having to do heaps of extra work like coaching the friend and writing the script". I've literally never had that problem, and I put it down to two things: the first is that I question them closely to see what they're actually looking for (I often have couples say they want a short ceremony, but when I ask them what that means, they say no longer than 30-45 minutes; that's a normal ceremony!), and I set very clear boundaries around what I will provide for the amount I've charged them (short and sweet ceremony? No problems, here's my standard, non-personalised script. Co-deliver a ceremony with a friend? No problems, I'll spend this many hours and provide you with this amount of assistance; anything else costs more). Be clear, set boundaries, and I hope you'll have a far more pleasant life!
### MLCS & celebrant associations/networks meeting 28 October 2019
I attended my first meeting with the other celebrant association/networks and staff from the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section (MLCS) of the Commonwealth Attorney-General's Department (AGD) on Monday 28 October 2019. Josh couldn’t come with me because he was travelling to Iceland. Of course.
From what I’d heard from other participants, I was prepared for a pretty tense, uncomfortable experience. But instead it was a remarkably positive and productive experience, and I’m feeling pretty happy about the whole thing! (Ask me again in six months when we see if anything discussed has actually been implemented…)
We covered a LOT of content over the course of five or so hours, and I took LOTS of notes. Formal minutes are always released by MLCS a few months after the meeting, but for now, here are the major highlights as I saw them:
Celebrant registration charge
The process was much smoother this year than in 2018, mainly because a text message reminder (9 September) was sent in addition to the email reminder (23 August). 223 celebrants were deregistered for not paying their fee, down considerably from the 371 deregistered in 2018. MLCS staff estimate that less than 50 of those were unintentional non-payments of the fee; that the rest were celebrants who simply let their registration lapse. As of Monday 28 October, only 14 celebrants have applied for re-registration.
Forms review
Some of you will be aware that this is one of my major bugbears; the forms review has been ongoing in one form or another since January 2015, and it’s quite frankly ridiculous that it takes five years to review half a dozen documents. MLCS have taken on board the copious feedback they received after the 2018 public consultation about the need to include parents’ names on marriage paperwork for family history reasons, so these have been reinstated. After much back and forth with BDMs and the Australian Bureau of Statistics, it looks like the information to be collected has finally been clarified, and the forms are now being modernised. MLCS was not prepared to give us a timeline, but I’m hoping we’ll have new forms introduced by 1 January 2020, with a likely transition period of 12 months to use up any stock of the old forms.
OPD in 2020
MLCS is 99% sure there will not be a compulsory topic for OPD next year; some RTOs may choose to offer an elective around the new forms if they’re available in time.
Updates to the Marriage Celebrants Portal
Self-reporting of OPD is now available; celebrants can upload their OPD certificates to the portal to ensure AGD is aware they have fulfilled their obligations (this will be cross-checked with information received from the relevant RTO).
Any changes made to contact details will now show on the register in real time; previously it could take a few days for changes to show up.
I’ve written before about how to change your details on the register and why you should keep your information up to date. There is also a new fact sheet available that outlines the same information.
OPD/application process survey
The survey closed on 22 October, and 2200 responses were received. That’s less than a quarter of all registered celebrants. While I recognise that’s a fantastic result from a typical market research perspective (where a 10% response rate can be considered good), I’m disappointed that more celebrants didn’t choose to have their say on such an important topic. Also, as I’ve mentioned before in relation to the annual CoCA survey, a small response rate means the responses are likely not representative of the wider celebrant population’s views. Anyway, on to the preliminary results.
Most respondents were in favour of streamlining the application process (although I have argued that most won’t have understood what the questions were actually suggesting), and about half were in favour of reducing OPD to one hour per year. MLCS staff stressed that no decisions have been made at this point.
There was a wide discussion in the room about OPD and the application process. MLCS staff asked that association feedback on the issues raised and any suggestions for OPD into the future be sent in by the end of November.
This is a really big opportunity; MLCS have said they are open to a complete redesign of the OPD process. If you have any ideas or suggestions of how you might like OPD to work in the future, please send them through to hello@celebrant.institute by 20 November, so we can collate and put together our position by the end of the month.
Cap on celebrant numbers
There was a lengthy discussion about the possibility of reintroducing a cap on celebrant registrations. MLCS staff are not in a position to effect any change in this area; their only responsibility is to ensure celebrants are performing marriages that meet the requirements of the current legislation. If anyone feels strongly enough about this issue, the only way to have it considered is to lobby their local member to put forward an amendment to the legislation. Ultimately though, the current government has a deregulation agenda and is unlikely to consider a cap.
Updated Guidelines
The current Guidelines, released in July 2018, are already out of date, mostly due to the new fact sheet on marriage celebrant obligations in an online environment. MLCS staff are currently working on updating them, and they hope to have them released in the next few months. Association and network reps will have the opportunity to review them, so don’t worry, I’ll be doing my usual careful reading of them J
After hours shortening of time for medical reasons
This is an issue I asked the AFCC to raise several months ago (in my role as an AFCC member), after I heard about a Darwin celebrant with a groom whose terminal illness had taken a turn for the worst on a Friday evening. They wanted to get married that weekend but obviously there was no way for them to apply for a shortening, and by the Monday he had died.
MLCS had checked with BDMs, who said they didn’t believe there was any need for this; as I pointed out, that’s because they’re not hearing about couples who would have applied if there was a way to do so, but have not because it’s too late by the time the office reopened.
MLCS were asked to revisit the issue, and they suggested the best thing would be for associations to lobby the state governments, as prescribed authorities to review shortening of time applications are state government appointments (magistrates or BDM staff etc).
I know the AFCC is working on this, and I believe the MLCS will raise it again. Watch this space for more info as it becomes available.
That’s it for this meeting! Let me know if you have any questions!
### Statutory declaration for evidence of date and place of birth
Shamini asks:
I've got a couple who came here as refugees (by boat) 9 years ago and are looking to get married. In terms of ID they have a travel document that is provided by the Australian Govt (looks like a passport). Is this sufficient for me to use? They don't have birth certificates or passports from Sri Lanka as they lost all this when they fled?
The quick answer is no, this document is not sufficient, so these parties will need to provide a statutory declaration as evidence of their date and place of birth.
The long answer is that the travel document, called the Convention Travel Document or Titre de Voyage, is a document issued by the Australian Government to refugees who have been granted a Temporary Protection Visa but have not yet gained Australian Citizenship. It looks pretty much exactly like a passport, so that's where the confusion starts. It's usually valid for one or two years, and allows the person to travel outside Australia, for compassionate or compelling reasons, to any country EXCEPT that which they've been granted asylum from (because obviously that would be kind of counter-intuitive). People who want to travel on that document also need to essentially seek permission from the Department of Home Affairs before they leave. It's not a passport, and therefore is not valid to be used as evidence of date and place of birth under the Marriage Act 1961. More information about travelling while holding a Temporary Protection Visa can be found here, just in case anyone is interested.
So if a party produces a Titre de Voyage, and they do not have a birth certificate or passport, you'll need to ask them to provide you with a statutory declaration as to their date and place of birth. You can purchase my template for such a stat dec here!
### Taking over a ceremony for another celebrant: legal obligations
We've talked before about the process of transferring a NOIM to another celebrant, but today Carmel is asking exactly what she needs to do to take over a wedding from another celebrant:
A celebrant friend has asked me to be a standby in case she cannot officiate her nieces wedding next month. The reason being she is about to start chemo and doesn't know how she will be on the day. (understandably)
I am meeting the couple this week so we can all feel comfortable and I will also check ID's so I am happy with that aspect.
The best outcome is that I am just there on the day and she is well enough but we are both wanting to be prepared so her niece has a legal and memorable wedding with no glitches. Is this enough?
Carmel has almost covered all her bases. However, I pointed out the following to her about the timing of a transfer of celebrant:
Remember if she does need you to take over, you can't really do that mid-ceremony. One of you had to be responsible for all legal aspects. So if she's going to be the authorised celebrant, she'll need to witness their signatures on the DONLIM, say the Monitum, hear them say their legal vows, and manage the signing. If you're going to be the authorised celebrant, you'll have to do all those things as well as having her transfer the NOIM to you. You're sighting the identity docs now, so at least that is covered.
If the plan is that you'll be there to jump up and deliver the ceremonial aspects if she can't manage, but she'll still do all the legal stuff, you can take over mid-ceremony with no problems. But if there's any possibility she won't be able to complete the legal aspects of the wedding, she really needs to hand that responsibility to you before the ceremony so that you can have the couple re-sign the DONLIM with you as witness, and you can manage all the legalities during the ceremony.
After I sent the above response to Carmel, she came back with the following questions:
A few days prior we will know. I will attend the rehearsal when the DONLIM will be signed. I am just confused about how the transfer takes place. Anything to alter on NOIM? So then the DONLIM can be witnessed by me ?
The NOIM literally just needs to be handed or mailed to you; that's how it gets transferred :) The point is that you need to be in possession of it before you can perform the marriage. I usually write on page 4, underneath the section for recording evidence of dissolution of a previous marriage, "transferred from X to Y, received by Y on date".
The DONLIM needs to be signed in front of whoever will perform the marriage. So even if you do attend the rehearsal, if your friend witnesses their signatures on the DONLIM at the rehearsal, and then decides to transfer the wedding to you, you will need to redo the DONLIM, they'll need to sign it again with you as the witness.
If anyone is confused about any of this, please let me know!
### US citizens marrying in Australia
Sophie had a bunch of questions to ask about a couple of US citizens she's marrying here in Australia. I separated them out and answered them one by one; hopefully you'll find something in there that's useful for you!
They have both been married previously, and multiple times - for their NOIM am I right telling them that for the bottom of the first page they state what year each Ceremony happened, how it ended and the date of the dissolution - that’s information they give without me needing to see proof.
On page 3 of the NOIM you need to list the following for each party:
number of previous marriages)
year of EACH previous marriage ceremony (if known, give date)
number of children of all the previous marriages added together, and years of birth of each of those children
only how the LAST marriage ended, and the date of dissolution of the LAST marriage. That's because whoever married them the last time will have listed how and when the marriage before that one ended, and so forth.
Then for the next page the evidence I need to see - is it ONLY the most recent divorce documentation or all?
Yes, only evidence of how the LAST marriage ended is required; the celebrant before you will have seen the proof of the end of the marriage before that, and so on. Check the date of dissolution they've listed on page 3 against this proof they've given you.
And being that they went through the courts in the US (the paperwork looks different to ours) do I write ‘Texas, 27472910’ for eg. - do I need to do anything different being US documents?
Nothing different for US documents, you just need to list the court location where the divorce was granted, usually a city if it's listed. No need to list the number of the divorce document. Just make sure it says something like "the marriage was terminated" or "dissolved" or similar on whatever date.
For name changing - they take their official MC to service NSW etc for changing licenses, passports etc here in Australia
To change their name in Australia, they just take their BDM certificate to everywhere that has their name on file and say hey, I want you to call me by another name now, and here's my marriage certificate to prove I'm allowed to use that new name. They don't need to go through a legal change of name process through BDM. They'll change their licence through Service NSW, their Australian passport (if they have one) through the Australian Passport Office (usually via the post office), and all their other documents through whichever organisation issued that document (bank, Medicare, etc).
They asked me what about in the states, when they travel there next year do they just produce that MC to the various places in the same way?
This is the one I can't answer. We can't give advice about the requirements for changing names in another country, because we simply don't know, and it would be irresponsible of us to give them advice that could be incorrect. They'll need to contact organisations that issue any US documentation they have and ask them what the process is for changing names with an Australian marriage certificate. That's for them to do, not for you!
### Signing documents electronically under the new rules
Kate asks:
I was happy to see in the June 2019 A-G newsletter that it's okay to receive documents electronically. Woohoo, so much easier! My question is about how this includes the Declaration of No Legal Impediment - see page 2 of the newsletter below, under the heading "Can documents be signed electronically?", 3rd para, where it says:
"Marriage documents including the Notice, official certificates of marriage (civil and religious) and Declaration of No Legal Impediment (DNLI) may be signed electronically. Where parties to a marriage sign
these marriage documents with a hand-written or electronic signature, both parties are required to ‘sign’ in the presence of an authorised celebrant or authorised witness."
I'm hoping to understand what kind of circumstance/scenario is acceptable for the couple's signature to be witnessed, when the Declaration is signed electronically. Can you help clarity this? I'm not clear from the way it's worded in the newsletter. A google search wasn't much help either, as all I found was info about how it's not possible to witness electronic signatures... but if the A-G have said it's okay then surely they must have an acceptable scenario in mind?!
Some ideas of how it might work:
* over skype, I watch them sign the document with pen/electronically, then they scan/email the same document for me to sign as authorised witness
* sharing screens remotely while also talking on the phone, I watch them sign electronically then I do the same
Kate's just got the wrong interpretation of "signed electronically" here. When they talk about electronic signing in this instance, they mean using electronic equipment such as a tablet and a stylus, e.g. an iPad and an Apple Pencil. They do not mean witnessing the signing electronically, e.g. over Skype or screen sharing software. The documents still must be signed in the presence of the witness, and that means the physical presence, not the electronic presence :)
There are excellent fact sheets about this available on the AGD website, or you can download them here:
Marriage-celebrants-online-environment
Quick-reference-guide-celebrants-online-environment
### We've got a seat at the AGD's table
Twice a year the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section (MLCS) of the Attorney General's Department meets with representatives of celebrants associations to discuss the potential impact of policies and legislative changes to the Marriage Celebrants Programme.
For many years, only members of the Coalition of Celebrant Associations and representatives of the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants were invited to those meetings.
Change is in the air
This year the MLCS changed the wording on their website about these biannual meetings, to note that they meet with "celebrant associations and networks". Nowhere was a definition of "celebrant associations and networks" published.
We decided that the members of the Celebrant Institute could be viewed as a "celebrant network", so we wrote to MLCS on 23 September asking for recognition as a celebrant network and inclusion in the biannual consultation meetings.
We've got a seat at the table
We're thrilled to announce that on 30 September we received an email from MLCS inviting us to attend the next meeting between MLCS and celebrant associations and networks, and to be part of this group on an ongoing basis. Sarah will be attending the meeting in Canberra on 28 October on your behalf.
We were invited to submit suggested items for discussion, but decided to not do so for our first meeting; although Sarah has many, many things to say, we decided it would be best if we sat back and observed for our first meeting (although we acknowledge it's highly unlikely that Sarah will be able to keep her mouth shut). For future meetings though, we will be canvassing all our members about the issues that are most important to you, that you would like us to raise.
Here's hoping we can start to effect some change!
### It’s time to wean ourselves off this teat
The most popular question I’m asked in person by my wedding industry colleagues, and here on the Celebrant Institute, is which website do I advertise on or which directory do I list in that works?
Somewhere along the way, wedding vendors have gotten really comfortable being fed off the teat of wedding blogs, directories, websites, and magazines.
It’s time for us to wean ourselves off this unhealthy diet, and to take our sales, revenue, profit, our future, and our mental health into our own hands.
They don’t care
If there’s one common denominator between every interaction I’ve had with the cohort of businesses that will take my advertising dollars, its that not one of them cared about my business as much as I did.
Which is to be expected.
They’re literally running their own businesses, and that’s the disconnect between the advertiser and the website. They never have and never will care about us as much as we do.
The past was a different time
In the past we had to make do with this lack of care because the blogs, magazines, and directories were our only path to our potential clients, but today we operate in a different marketplace.
We are actually in competition with them
In so many ways we are actually, literally, in competition with the websites we are paying to promote us as we both fight for the same Instagram, Facebook, blog, and search engine attention.
Isn’t it crazy, that as we pay the dollars per month the different services can cost us, that we are also creating our own content on all the different platforms, and also paying for ads there, while the websites we pay to care about us are competing with us, not only on a content level, but also on the Facebook and Google marketing platforms.
They’re not doing well
This morning I read from the editor of one of the USA wedding industry’s foremost blogs that she is down to a staff of one, herself. The story is echoed across many other blogs and directories. We see wedding magazines come and go, locally and internationally, all of the wedding media is struggling while we’re all so desperate for the attention they are fighting for as well.
The Australian wedding magazine market is not strong, and and it weakens, the very idea of sourcing vendors from a magazine weakens with it. As White Magazine has closed down, and as the others try to run a sustainable business, the whole platform of wedding magazines being important starts to fall apart. Ask yourself this, when was the last time you paid a business money because you read about them in a magazine?
That warm fuzzy feeling
Then there’s the side effect that each one of us wants that feel-good factor that comes when the blog or magazine features us and we get to see our name in lights.
This whole exposure deal is a drug we need to quit.
You’ve got the power
You, lonely solo you, have the same power, authority, and tools to access potential clients as the wedding blogs and directories do.
And you’ve got the added bonus of being extremely personally invested in the success of your business.
Those two fundamentals will serve you well as you figure out the intricacies of the Facebook Ads Manager and Google Adwords. As you start crafting content, hashtags, and images that communicate who you are and what you’re about, your investment in the success of your business is a much more powerful driver than “XYZ Celebrant paid us $100 this month, we better tag her in an Instagram post”.
Who cares wins
I’ve always believed with all of my heart that who cares, wins.
The blogs, magazines, and directories don’t care about you, but you do, so harness that and put your advertising dollars to work directly for yourself. Every day you take control of your marketing and sales is a compounding interest rate in your own brand that will be worth so much in the years to come.
### Written to elicit a response
On todays episode, we discuss our seat at the big table with MLCS, caping celebrant numbers, and the new survey that was written to coerce celebrants into doing less OPD, the implications for the industry and what you can do about it. We also look at the celebrants obligations in an online environment and we finish the episode discussing the inclusion of children at ceremonies.
1.30 Preshow banter
6.23 MLCS inclusion for Celebrant Institute
15.55 Capping celebrant numbers
33.46 The survey that was written to elicit a response
45.27 Recap of electronic environment questions
50.27 Children at weddings
### How to say the monitum with warmth
Tracey asks:
I'd really love some input about how/where in the ceremony you would say the Monitum. In amongst all the beautiful 'love' words it can feel a bit cold and clinical. I'm yet to find a way to bring it into the ceremony without it sounding a bit like an announcement! I feel pretty ok with writing sections of a ceremony. Tying them together is the tricky part for me!
This is a great question Tracey, but one that everyone will answer differently. I thought the easiest way for me to answer would be to share a snippet of video of me delivering a ceremony.
https://vimeo.com/366418533
Post in the comments how you deliver the monitum with class, style, and a smile!
### Giving the couple a copy of their NOIM
Danielle asks:
I have completed a NOIM with a bride for a ceremony next year, the groom lives in the USA and they are submitting a prospective marriage visa application. When signing the NOIM with the bride I provided a letter of support but she also wanted a copy of the NOIM for her lawyer. I said I wasn't able to provide this and the letter should be enough (I have done a few of these now and no other couple have asked for it and visas have been processed). I double checked this with some other celebrants at the time as I was sure we were not supposed to pass on copies of the NOIM to anyone and they agreed, do not pass it on.
Anyway today the lawyer called me asking for the NOIM again. I advised the same thing and she was super nice about it but said in 5 years I am the only celebrant to have ever said no...………. SO am I wrong or is she wrong? I don't want to hinder their visa application in any way but I also want to follow our rules!
You can totally provide a copy of the NOIM. You can’t give them the original (and this is why a lot of celebrants think we can't give them a copy, because this is so drummed into us in our training). But ultimately the NOIM is their document, their information, so it’s totally fine to give them a copy :) You’re also right that they don’t need it, the visa application doesn’t ask for it, but the lawyers like to be thorough so a copy is fine. Just scan it or whatever and send it over!
Do make sure it doesn't already have your A number on it (it shouldn't, we don't add that until after the wedding), but otherwise there's no dramas!
### How to update your Bose S1 speaker’s software
A few members reached out with knowledge about the Bose S1 that even I wasn’t aware of, so I thought it would be helpful to share it with everyone else: you can update the software on your Bose S1 speaker, and it comes with new features like using your speakers with the Bose Connect app, whilst also making the speakers operate with greater stability.
The bonus with using two Bose S1’s with updated software connected with the Bose connect software is that you can play music in stereo between them. If you wish for your microphone to come out of both speakers you still need two receivers for your microphone - one for each speaker - but to play music through both you merely need the latest software and the Bose Connect app.
Step 1: Get the Bose Updater Software
Download, install, and run the Bose Connect software onto your computer at http://btu.bose.com.
On my MacBook the Bose software runs in the toolbar.
I don’t like extra apps running on startup so I’ve disabled the “Start updater automatically option.
Choose the “Launch Bose Updater webpage” from this menu when instructed below because that web page will work with your Bose Updater software to actually update your speaker.
Step 2: Prepare the speaker
My advice is to have the speaker plugged into the power. You don’t want the battery dying during an update. The only cord aside from power that you’ll need is a Micro USB lead that plugs into your computer. My MacBook is USB-C so I have a Micro USB to USB-C cable, but if your computer has the original USB, that is USB-A, then you’ll need that cord.
Don’t plug the USB cord in yet, wait for the updater website to tell you to.
Turn the speaker’s power on.
Step 3: Check for new software and install it
From the Bose icon in your toolbar (or where it is on a Windows computer, sorry, I have no idea), choose the “Launch Bose Updater webpage” option.
Once the web page has done some checks it will instruct you to plug the Micro USB into your speaker’s “SERVICE” port next to the “Line Out” plug, and the other end should be plugged into a USB port on your computer.
The software will detect the speaker and check to see if an update is required.
The web page talks to the Bose Updater software which talks to your speaker, and if needed, you get the opportunity to install the new software.
If you have two speakers, you’ll need to repeat the procedure for the other speaker now.
Taking advantage of Bose Connect
I’ll write a separate post about this feature now because it’s a big deal on it’s own.
### Wedding location on the marriage paperwork
Kelly asks:
I am doing a backyard wedding next week (the couple have changed their mind at the last minute) so do I need to put their street address as the location, along with the town and state? I can't find any guidance in the Guidelines about how nailed down the location has to be but I remember in my Cert IV that I had to write location as well as town and state.
Yes, that’s right, street address where you would usually put the venue name. So 1200 Malvern Road, Glen Iris, Victoria, for a backyard wedding, where if it was in a venue you’d put Mr Foxx, Glen Iris, Victoria. I always look for three pieces of information for the address: either street address, suburb and state, or venue name, suburb and state.
### Timing of divorce and the NOIM
Bec asks:
I have a couple I met back on June 14 2019 & I sighted birth cert & Drivers Licence & verified Id of both couples. He advised he was divorced, but they had forgotten it & I said send it thru electronically. Now we signed the NOIM based on the ID's & info provided with me being the witness to their signatures on the day - 14th June.
Upon receiving the Divorce Certificate I noticed the date of the order was effective the 15th June 2019, so they must have been awaiting it & stalling? or just knew it would be thru prior to the day.
Now:
a) I understand if they state they have been married before I must sight death / divorce evidence & record before I can legally marry them...
b) I have received the divorce certificate well before the NOIM minimum time frame.
Questions:
a) Should I have not accepted the NOIM until I got the divorce certificate.
b) Do I need to now to create a new NOIM & resign with the couple as the date of the divorce is after we signed the NOIM.
I thought I could just adjust the date of the divorce info on the BDM site electronically & on the manual NOIM make a note & sign it & that a new one wasn't needed.
This is totally fine! As long as the divorce certificate has a date before the marriage, there's no problem. It doesn't have to be through before they lodge the NOIM. Don't worry about there being a one-day discrepancy, that's absolutely not relevant at all.
They don't even have to be divorced before the month's notice period, as long as the divorce is finalised and the celebrant sights the divorce order before the marriage is solemnised.
In future, if the divorce hasn't been finalised before the NOIM is lodged, they can write Married, Divorce Pending in the conjugal status line, but one day is not going to make any difference at all.
No dramas! All good to go!
### Total period of residence on the NOIM, part 2
Alison asks:
I have a groom who is a foreign national, but this is not the first time he lived in Australia – he lived here as a child as well. Does 'Total Period of Residency' only refer to his most recent stint, or is it a sum of all the times he has lived here?
To me, "total" would suggest all times added together, but it is also written in such a way that suggests people would only have lived here in a singular (not multiple) period. Confusing!
I know this is for ABS, so the BDM care factor is probably low, but would like to try to be accurate.
The answer to this question is actually that we simply don't have an answer. I've asked about this a couple of times (most recently when the Guidelines 2018 were out for consultation) and never received a satisfactory response, probably because literally nobody cares. I can't even find that the ABS has reported on this in recent memory; it's just one of those things that's left over on the form and is pretty meaningless. Because I can't find any recent reporting or analysis associated with this question, I have no idea what they were looking for in asking it, so therefore it's impossible to know whether we should be including every day they've ever spent in Australia. We expect that this item will not be included on the next version of the NOIM (whenever that is coming...)
When I've faced a situation like this, I've tended to just use their most recent period of residence and not worry about any time they spent here as a child etc.
### Postponing a wedding: what happens to the NOIM?
Dee asks:
After reading the guidelines I’m after some clarification regarding a NOIM. One of my couples have unfortunately had to postpone their wedding. Am I right in thinking the below :
- If the wedding takes place with eighteen months of the NOIM being signed we can proceed
- If they proceed with a different date and celebrant we will need to transfer the NOIM to that celebrant
- After 18 months the NOIM is invalid and if they proceed we will need to fill out a new NOIM
At the moment, given that the wedding date is cancelled, I should retain the NOIM, but give my couple the above information?
Dee was almost spot on!
Yes, they have 18 months from the date the NOIM was lodged with a celebrant to get married.
If they proceed with a different date and celebrant, the original celebrant CAN transfer the NOIM to the new celebrant, or if the new celebrant is booked over a month away from the wedding, they can just do a new one. Then the original celebrant would destroy the one lodged with them after 18 months.
Yes, if they want to proceed with the original celebrant after 18 months from the date of lodgement of the original NOIM, they'll need a new NOIM.
The original celebrant should definitely retain the NOIM (just because you never know when they might come back and say we want to get married tomorrow) until its 18 month validity runs out, then destroy it, even if you haven't heard from them.
If they're cancelling because they've broken up, hang on to the NOIM for the 18 months but don't do anything unless they contact you. If they're cancelling for another reason (sickness, money, etc), I would hang on to it and contact them 17 months after the date of lodgement just to remind them they've got a month left on the current one.
### High pitched squeak out of the speaker system
Kate asks:
Thanks very much for your helpful article about PA system recommendations. I hope Bose & Sennheiser are kind to you! I upgraded to both recommended items & during testing at home & at a venue it worked perfectly, but once the ceremony started there was some audio issues; couple of those high pitches squeaks and I think a bit of cutting out. It wasn’t a disaster but also wasn’t great, and I’d like my audio to be as good as poss so just trying to figure it out before the next ceremony.
In your experience, do you know what that could have been? Eg more likely to have been a speaker or mic issue? The only thing that changed from sound check to ceremony was that there were more people... can that have an effect? Would massively appreciate any thoughts or tips.
There are two possible sources of the noise, and without hearing it I can’t diagnose it directly.
The first is an easy one, and it’s unique wireless systems, squelch. The other is feedback.
Squelch
Squelch is well described in this Quora article:
Squelch is a function by which the wireless receiver mutes the audio signal when the radio signal drops below a certain threshold. This can happen due to interference from another, stronger radio source, distance from the receiver, or any other situation where some other radio signal (even just background radio hash) is stronger than the radio signal from the desired transmitter. In many cases, these undesired, stronger radio signals may carry louder (or certainly more annoying) audio signals than what would be output from the transmitter, and that is no fun for anyone involved should your receiver suddenly lock to them.
Ideally you set the squelch control so that it is above the level of background radio (noise), but well below the lowest level of useful radio from the intended transmitter (Signal).
So on my Sennheiser G4 wireless receivers look for the Squelch setting in the menu, and I’ve got mine set to High. The instruction manual for my system describes how to change it on page 58 of the manual, but it’s not hard to find and change yourself.
Feedback
When the audio that enters a microphone which is then amplified out a speaker is then received again by the speaker, the frequency bias of that speaker creates an audio loop which you hear as a high pitched sound.
This is a really easy problem to fix.
This is why you’ll see professional audio set ups have the speakers on speaker stands to the left and right of a stage. The audio engineer is physically moving the output of the speakers away from the input of the speakers, the microphones.
An ideal setup would look like this.
### VIC BDM RIO: children of previous marriages
Ray asks:
Trying to input previous marriage's children's birth years on BDM site... there are 5, it will only accept 1. I've tried commas and with out, not go.
This has been a disaster for a LOT of people, due to a TINY colon that's pretty difficult to see, and a poorly worded field name. The field name is "Previous Children of Marriage: 1", "Previous Children of Marriage: 2", etc. So a lot of people have read it as "list all the children from previous marriage number 1 in this box", rather than "list the first child from a previous marriage in this box."
The answer is that you have to do one at a time. If you put in 5 children, 5 boxes will pop up, and you put one year of birth in each box :)
### How to use two Bose S1 speakers in a wedding ceremony
Sophie asks:
Hey Josh - after a beach ceremony last weekend I vowed to never lug my massive speaker around again - its ridiculously heavy, I’m pregnant, plus sand = a terrible time. I loved your set-up at the conference and definitely did not write enough notes at that time about what was going on.
Bose S1 Pro, check. If I go with 2 speakers like you had do they have to be connected with a cable? I don’t think yours did but some audio store people are telling me I’d have to?
I’m not too tech savvy but have reasonable intelligence so I know I can work it all out when I get going.
Ideally I’d like 2 speakers playing all audio at once - me speaking through a headset (something decent Rode or the like), couples into a handheld (Senheiser right?) and music played through Bluetooth. This is pretty much what I’ve told the few places I’ve approached so far but then it gets complicated quick when they’re talking to me about mixers and cables etc etc and I’m lost.
Any quick and not too laborious help??
A quick step one for anyone who isn’t familiar with my PA system recommendation, check out this article first
The best way to demonstrate how I manage two speakers without a mixing desk or cables is with a diagram. Missing off the below diagram however is a second microphone input, like a headset you mention. But think of it of just a second XLR input into speaker 1, on a third channel.
The important notes is that you have three wireless communications happening, two into speaker 1, then one from speaker 1 into speaker 2.
Simply put, everything goes into one speaker, that speaker acts as a mixer, then you take the audio out of speaker 1 and send it to speaker 2.
I know when I run this set up I will often have my microphone volume at maximum on speaker 1, then the volume on speaker 2 sits around 75% for an even left and right spread of audio.
Different microphones, audio set ups, rooms, and configurations will apply so the rule as always is to use your ears and to do a sound check.
### Discounts/freebies for awful situations
Guy asks:
Do you reduce your rate when a couple is in an awful situation? Terminally ill party etc. I've had this arise twice in the last 3 months and never know what to do.
First, Sarah's response:
It's a case by case basis for me, and it's also one you have to be SUPER careful with. Everyone has a sob story. One of my very first bookings I fell for a story and gave a 10% discount - "we're both students, and my grandmother is ill and we're bringing the wedding forward so she can be there, it's her dream" - then they didn't get married for 18 months, so grandma clearly wasn't that sick, her dress cost $5k (she proudly told me about that), and she turned up in a stretch Hummer. I can bet she didn't get a discount on any of those things.
In my limited experience and observation of these things, the people who are actually in the most need are the ones who won't ask for a discount or won't accept it. There's something empowering about them being able to pay for things themselves, and not taking a "handout" as I've heard some people say. They might prefer it if you made a donation in their name to a charity that's close to their heart. The ones who come to you with a sob story are the ones who feel entitled for whatever reason, and I can assure you they'll be the biggest pain in the arse clients you've ever dealt with.
I've had family members who have insisted on paying my full fee. I did the funeral of my best friend's dad, and when I sent her the invoice with a small discount she sent it back, saying "we didn't ask you to get mate's rates, we asked you because you're amazing - charge us what you would charge anyone else." I didn't charge my aunt when I did my uncle's funeral and she still feels uncomfortable about it - I've had a lot of work from that funeral director though, one I hadn't worked for before, so I let her know she's paid me indirectly.
So I can't give you a hard and fast ruling on this one. But do consider whether the couple is likely to be getting discounts from any other provider, or whether they think you're a soft touch. Consider whether the story is truly legit (no idea how you find that out, but it's something you need to think about). And also consider what kind of wedding they're having - if we're talking about a bedside legals only in the hospital, then yeah, they're probs legit, there are no other providers, and I'd probs consider a discount. But if we're talking about a full wedding with a whole lot of "stuff", do they really need your discount, or do they just need it so they can afford fancy bomboniere????
And next, Josh's response:
I’m with Sarah on this one. I either give it for free or full price, and if they ask for free or a discount it’s almost always going to be a bad experience for me.
Any requested discount or freebie ceremony has been the worst day at work for me.
Offering a freebie where it wasn’t requested is almost always a great day at work.
Summary
This one is obviously up to every celebrant to make their own call on. We don't want to sound heartless, but hopefully we've given you some things to think about if this kind of request ever comes across your desk!
### Are we finished being angry at Glenn yet?
A wide variety of celebrant chat in this episode! Celebrant Institute turns one (happy birthday!). We recap our first year and what we have accomplished. We discuss Glenn’s feedback from our previous episode plus general discussion on industry updates.
0.40 Sarah’s nicknames
4.00 Global Climate strike
8.50 1st year anniversary for Celebrant Institute!
14.11 Sarah is now training through CI
16.37 Community over competition and raising the industry standard
24.57 LGBTQI Awareness
27.17 Are we still mad at Glenn for his feedback?
29.11 Signing the certificates
41.06 Can we have the rings please?
45.05 High heels for presence
48.56 Continue to develop
51.15 CoCA update
62.38 Say yes to all the things and be a good human
### Josh's plan for posting on social media
When I post on social media, I've got one plan in mind. Not to sell, not to do a deal, not to whinge or complain.
I want to be known.
So when people that like me make a decision about a celebrant, I'm who they think of.
When I saw this recent meme about the mortifying ordeal of being known and loved it resonated with me so much I had to work it into a talk for our recent conference.
Please enjoy the video below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zj9GxyFSh4
### Three reasons your celebrant website should be secure
As you're viewing this blog post you'll note that in the URL bar, the part where you type the blah blah blah dot com bit, next to the domain name 'celebrant.institute' you'll see a little padlock ???? icon that is a sign that this website is communicating with your web browser securely. If you share any information with this website, by logging in, making a comment, typing in a credit card number, or even just reading blog posts, that content is all secure.
Running a secure website today is not only popular and a good look, but it is important for your brand identity and your search engine optimisation.
As an example, here's a screenshot of a website I visited today and I was surprised how negatively I felt about the brand knowing that they had not installed an SSL certificate on their website and made it a secure connection:
I've blurred the name of the businesses so they don't get angry
The three reasons you want to make sure your celebrant website is secure are:
It's a bad look for your brandYour couples won't trust youGoogle will downrank you in the search listings
It's a bad look for your brand
If you run a cafe, you make sure the tables are cleared, it's a bad look for every table to be full of dirty dishes; if you run a fashion boutique it's a bad look for all the clothes on the rack to be messy and out of order; if your retail front is a website it's a bad look to be missing that ???? padlock icon in the domain name. Particularly as most modern web browsers now explicitly state "Not secure" in-place of a ???? padlock icon.
Your couples won't trust you
We know to not make purchases, bookings, or contact on insecure websites. So when your role as a celebrant - one built on so much trust - is drawn into distrust by the lack of an SSL certificate, you best fix that asap.
You want your clients to be able to trust that booking you and handing over personal details, names, addresses, credit card details etc is all secure.
Google will downrank you in the search listings
For almost five years Google has favoured secure websites, so if yours isbn't secure, it's falling in the rankings. This is a fact.
What is an SSL certificate?
Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) certificates, sometimes called digital certificates, are used to establish an encrypted connection between a web browser and a server or website. The SSL connection protects sensitive data, such as credit card information, exchanged during each visit, which is called a session, from being intercepted from non-authorized parties.
The SSL certificate being installed correctly on your website is what makes it secure.
How can you secure your website?
This is the slightly more technical bit. Every website host will have a specific method for them. So it's time to contact your web host or developer and ask them how to secure your website. Here's a few links to the more popular web hosts and how to secure your website if you host with them:
SquarespaceGodaddyWixWordpress.comCrazydomains
### How to get more wedding enquiries
Liene at Think Splendid shares five powerfully simple ways to get more enquiries to your wedding celebrant business today. They're so simple that you are hopefully already doing them, or if you're not, this is a quick and swift reminder.
What is the simple call to action on your website
The whole point of your website is to start conversations with people that might hopefully book you. If the conversation opener doesn't have a simple call to action that conversation might never get off the ground. Imagine meeting someone on the street and you say hello, and they reply "How are you? Are you good? What's happening? Is your mother ok? Why are you out of the house? Can I borrow five dollars? What's with the weather?" The conversation is off to a rocky start already, not only are there seven questions answered, and you don't want to answer half of them, your view of this person is one of confusion and misunderstanding.
Ask a simple question on your website, and deliver your potential client a simple path to engaging with you, what we call a call to action.
Use the delete key on your website
Ask a person not employed in your industry if every word, phrase, and terminology on your website makes sense to them. Are you talking about wedding seasons, bride and groom, creative partnerships, vendors, suppliers, authorised civil marriage celebrants authorised by law to solemnise marriages in Australia according to the Marriage Act of 1961.
Speak to your website visitors in normal people english, addressing the concerns and questions of normal everyday people that might be enquiring with you.
Be inclusive
A wedding publication recently told me that they will continue to identify their potential clients as brides because over 80% of their readership are female. If some of the people you're having dinner with are called Melissa and you assumed it was ok to call the remaining people the same thing, you'd look silly. Including people in the conversation means you are creating an opportunity for them to be a part of the conversation. That's using their real name instead of Melissa and using other language that makes them feel welcome.
Use inclusive language on your website, no need to say things like "Brides, congratulations on getting married" when you could just say "congratulations on getting married!" All of a sudden you've included people who aren't brides, like at least 50% or more of the population.
In your contact and enquiry form use titles like "Your name" and "Partner's name" instead of Bride and Groom.
Or, if you want to offend and turn away potential clients, stick with the status quo and wonder why your enquiries are down.
Create a short and sweet contact form
There is significant research to say that the shorter and more concise your contact form is, the larger the number of people that will fill it out.
Remove as much from your contact form as you can until it doesn't make sense any more. Live by the Marie Kondo rule of what in your contact form doesn't spark joy in you, or a potential client. Delete those fields, and let the remaining contact form shine.
### How to be a wedding reception MC
The art of MCing a wedding reception is definitely one most celebrants could master, but it's a little different to being a marriage celebrant, so here's master MC, Glenn Mackay, of G&M Event Group at the 2019 conference on how to perfect the art.
If you're looking for more from Glenn he was a guest on the Celebrant Talk Show on a totally different subject, listen here.
https://vimeo.com/360435990
### Registering Australian marriages overseas
Kylie recently asked a question that, for a change, I just wasn't prepared to give her an answer to:
Just wanting some advice on how you inform couples on how to register their marriages aboard?
E.g A Scottish couple marry here, and ask you how they register their marriage in Scotland.
I understand they need to have the Original Marriage Certificate apostille stamped, before their government will recognize it as a true document, however where can they get this done?
The Australian Embassy in their country or??
We know that for an overseas marriage to be recognised in Australia, all that has to happen is that the marriage would have needed to be valid if it was solemnised in Australia (so between two people are not married to someone else, not in a prohibited relationship, of marriageable age, and who give consent). They don't need to, and in fact can't, register their marriage in Australia in any way.
But for a couple who come to Australia to marry but live overseas, I'm simply not prepared to give any kind of answer as to what they might need to do to have their marriage recognised in their home country. I'm sure the process in England, for example, would be very similar to ours (we probably inherited our process from them) but I'm not an expert on the requirements in other countries, and I think it would be irresponsible of me to try to answer this question.
I also don't think it's really our responsibility as Australian marriage celebrants to give this kind of information to our couples; we're not experts, and things could change without our knowing, and I'd hate to give a couple incorrect advice. I would always instruct them to contact the equivalent of BDM in their own country and ask the question through them.
There was one part of Kylie's question I could answer though, and that was about Apostille stamps. The couple has to go through the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade to have an Australian document affixed with an Apostille stamp, and the best information on this can be found on their website: https://dfat.gov.au/about-us/our-services/apostilles-authentications-certificates-of-no-impediment-to-marriage/Pages/apostilles-authentications-and-certificates-of-no-impediment-to-marriage.aspx.
You'll notice even they say on their site "DFAT cannot provide advice regarding other countries' specific requirements in order for a marriage to be legal in a particular country," so I'm not alone in refusing to provide this kind of info!
### Marrying in your birth name after changing your name by marriage
Haley asks:
I have a bride that is divorced but still goes by her previous spouse's surname. In regards to moving forward and taking on the new spouses name - does she have to go through any special process or will she just go to her organisations and show her divorce cert, and new marriage certificate to change to her new surname?
In regards to the paperwork NOIM etc - if she shows me her birth certificate, but a passport/drivers licence with her previous married surname - as long as I'm satisfied that it is the same person, and she is who she says she is, does it matter? And i fill out the documentation with her maiden name?
To change her name after this marriage she'll just need to do exactly what you've described; show her new marriage certificate (not even her divorce certificate!) to all the organisations with her name on file.
You need to sight her birth certificate (e.g. in Jane Smith), her marriage certificate (e.g. to show Jane Smith married Tom Brown), her divorce certificate (to show that Jane Brown divorced Tom Brown), and her current photo ID (in the name Jane Brown) to show that the birth certificate for Jane Smith belongs to the person sitting in front of you, Jane Brown. Then you can use her maiden name on the paperwork. If she's happy to get married in her previous married name, and she has a passport in that name, then you don't need to see her birth certificate or her marriage certificate.
### $6 Dollar Breakfast!
After dropping my car off to be serviced this morning I hit the local cafe strip to find a breakfast befitting of someone wanting to sit in a cafe for breakfast and a coffee while answering emails and writing blog posts.
The first cafe was offering a $6 breakfast, and without inspecting the actual offering, I knew instantly that I didn't want a $6 breakfast. Everything in me knew that I was not a $6 breakfast person. On a morning like this I was thinking that breakfast would cost at a bare minimum $10 but probably closer to $20, and there’d be a coffee as well, a large one, so I was expecting to pay no more than say $25.
A $6 breakfast wasn’t a $25 breakfast.
A price is part of the marketing promise. It’s a vital part of the communication of value. When you order a $6 breakfast you’re getting $6 worth of breakfast and although there are segments of the community who only want or need six dollars worth of breakfast, I wanted something a little bit more substantial than the slopped together rasher of bacon and fried egg on a cheap bun of bread. I wanted more value.
Communicating your price is just as important, if not more so, than your logo, bio, social media posts, and website design.
When you say that your fee is a certain fee, your’e saying you’re that kind of celebrant.
Are you a $6 breakfast kind of celebrant or are you something else?
### Ladies And Gentlemen, And Everyone Else!
Today on the podcast we're super lucky to be joined by Glenn Mackay, who is an award-winning wedding MC and DJ in SE Queensland. He's seen hundreds of wedding ceremonies while he's been playing the ceremony music, and we're delighted to have him talk to us about his thoughts about what celebrants can do better.
Remember: this is only Glenn's opinion! We're not suggesting anyone has to do anything Glenn says. But it's always good to be open to new ideas and new ways of thinking, so we hope listening to Glenn will at least make you stop and think about what you do and why you do it.
Glenn talks about the MarBecca method; you can find out more about that at www.markferrell.com.
You can connect with Glenn at gmeventgroup.com.au.
Let us know if anything Glenn says resonates with you, if you've changed the way you do something because of something he said, or if you're completely offended and hate every word that came out of his mouth! We always want to hear from you at hello@celebrant.fm.
### Sally’s dilemma is our dilemma
Sally is a video maker who Bernadette Jiwa writes about here:
What most clients pay Sally for—the deliverable, is that five minutes of video footage. But what Sally dreams of doing and being paid for is finding stories worth telling. It’s easier for Sally to sell the outcome—the video, than it is to market her process and the impact of her work. So, she defaults to doing what’s easy and ends up selling videos in one-minute increments to clients who don’t understand or pay for her genius.
People happily pay for the tangible. But if the tangible—the logo, the report or the cup of coffee, is a fraction of the value we create, then we need to get better at selling the intangible.
It’s not unusual to wake up one day and find that the work people pay us for isn’t the work we intended to do. It’s our job to fix that, by telling the right story to the right people.
Is the work people pay you for the work you want to do?
As I read Bern’s piece I couldn’t help hold a mirror to what us celebrants do. Many would see it as the few moments we are on the microphone in the ceremony, but it’s so much more.
“It’s our job to fix that, by telling the right story to the right people.”
### Why people hire the mediocre celebrant instead of you
Liene at Think Splendid writes:
If you want people to appreciate that what you offer is better, that what you offer is actually good, the market needs to have more actually good businesses in it. It seems like you should be able to stand apart by being good when surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, but real life rarely works that way.
Keep reading ...
### Non-refundable refund demanded
Veronica asks:
I know where you stand on refunds. Yesterday, I had a bride who cancelled her November wedding due to the relationship splitting, texting me nasty abuse and demanding the clearly stated non-refundable booking fee. It’s stated on my invoice & receipt, as well as my terms & conditions which were sent to her. I had agreed to refund a third as a gesture of goodwill back in May because I work with her father, but they have not collected the money (yep...it was cash & they want cash back). Also said if I refill the date I will refund the remaining amount. Do you think I should do anything else? Please advise.
Hi Veronica!
Three things are important when dealing with these circumstances.
A service contract exists to outlay what a commercial relationship looks like between two parties. When it talks about refunds, that’s what you have to obey. So if the service contract says no refunds, then there’s no refunds.
Secondly, boundaries are important in life. They allow us to have healthy relationships, even if one party is unhappy about the boundaries, the other party (you) needs to set and respect them. If we agreed on no refund, then there’s no refund.
Thirdly, outside of service contracts and boundaries is your word, and what you have said you will do. Some believe that our word is the only thing we really own, and if we give it away and make it worthless, then we really have nothing.
So if you’ve said you would do something outside of the agreed upon relationship stipulated in your service contract, something outside of the boundaries you’ve set, then you’ve really got to do it.
In future though, hold fast to your service contract, and make sure it reflects the kind of commercial relationships you want to forge. Set strong boundaries throughout your entire business, so that you can maintain a good level of mental health. Finally, use your word sparingly but powerfully.
Give them the cash back, say nothing about rebooking it, and learn from the experience :)
### Developing your own ceremony performance style: Sarah's view
Alexandra asks:
This may be a difficult question to answer as every celebrant is different and probably changes and adapts with more weddings that they do.
My current wedding count is 0 (i have one in August and can't wait).
What i find myself getting a bit anxious about are a couple of things:
> Before the ceremony on the day: I know it's standard to arrive at least an hour early to set up etc. but what sort of interaction do you normally have with the wedding guests/groom/groomsmen? I've been to weddings where the Celebrant hasn't even addressed anyone until the Bride is ready to walk down the aisle - and others where the Celebrant is helping usher people to their seats, chatting etc. I'm scared that there will be crickets if i'm just standing there.
> This may sound silly, but i've seen some awesome Celebrants in action who are very witty - i'm confident in the heartfelt stuff but i still feel this pressure that i need to be funny. Any tips for how to overcome this? Or in your experience what helps/doesn't help? I also will probably develop my own style that completely depends on the couple - i would never go against what the couple wants but i imagine most couples want that balance of the light hearted and sincere moments.
There's also a thing called over thinking too which i'm sure I partly am.
Here's the advice I sent back to Alexandra. It's applicable to all celebrants, new or old, and hopefully it will resonate with some of you. This is just my view; Josh may have a different one!
I have two big pieces of advice for you: 1) stop overthinking it, and 2) stop worrying about what other people are doing :)
You will develop your own style and your own way of working over time; try out different things, see what feels comfortable and what doesn't, and eventually you'll settle on your own way of doing things.
For your two specific questions:
1. There will never be crickets when people are arriving at a ceremony. Often they haven't seen each other for a long time, so they're catching up with old friends and chatting away. That will happen whether or not you get involved. You are not the host of this party, so don't feel pressure to greet people and make small talk. I am DREADFUL at small talk; I'll happily chat to anyone who approaches me, but I never initiate a conversation with wedding guests while I'm in that set-up phase. I definitely talk to the groom and groomsmen, settling the nerves, looking at their outfits to check phones are out of pockets etc, but I also encourage them to go and chat to their guests, not stand up the front with everyone looking at them. I don't encourage guests to sit or ask the boys to stand at the front until I know the bride has arrived and is ready to walk the aisle; if I get everyone settled five minutes before we're supposed to start and she's late, that's awkward for everyone. But again, all of that is just how I do it, how I feel comfortable, and what I've figured out works best for me.
2. You should absolutely not feel pressure to be funny. We are not comedians. In fact I even tell my couples that: "I'm not a comedian and I don't tell jokes, but I do tell funny stories if you want me to". As I've gotten more experienced I feel more comfortable gently taking the piss sometimes, if and when it's appropriate, but I certainly didn't start off with anything off the cuff - every word I would say during a ceremony was scripted and approved by the couple, until I got more comfortable in the space. It can be really tempting to go and watch a lot of other celebrants, but I actually don't do it anymore because I know I'll feel super intimidated and like I'm not "doing it right". (Note: I know I've recommended this before and on the podcast, but if it's making you anxious, don't do it!) There is no "right", only what works for you and your couples (as long as it's legal, of course!). You will develop your own style with practice.
It's going to sound counter-intuitive, but natural and confident delivery comes with a lot of practice and a lot of work, just doing things a little bit differently every time to test out what works for you and what doesn't. I know it's hard, but try to relax, and concentrate on figuring out who you are, what kind of celebrant you are, and what works best for you and your couples :)
### On the off chance that no-one knows what this sentence is about
Hello everybody! Thanks for joining us for another episode of The Celebrant Talk Show! This time Josh and Sarah chat about the annual registration fee (pay yours now!), the review of the marriage forms, the epic funeral course Sarah went on (http://www.silvercelebrants.com.au), and the new fact sheet about celebrants’ obligations in an online environment, plus an exciting announcement! As always, shoot us an email at hello@celebrant.fm if you have any questions or topics you’d like us to discuss in an upcoming episode!
What a time to be alive! The Marriage Act 1961 has finally aligned with the Electronic Transactions Act (thanks Josh)! and this ep chats about what this means for us.
Paying your Annual Registration Fee and why pricing yourself out per hour or perhaps why you can’t are also discussed in this episode.
Other awesome content re the MLCS fact sheets and Sarah has some wonderful advice for funeral celebrants.
You can’t miss this one!
03:00 – Sarah’s fav podcast. This podcast will kill you. https://thispodcastwillkillyou.com/
04:10 – Why it’s impossible to price yourself out per hour.
12:40 – Why do you have to pay your Annual registration fee? Why such a big deal?
19:15 – What do the MLCS do with the funds from the Registration Fee?
27:45 – MLCS Fact sheet regarding Celebrant obligations in an online environment
28:25 – Accepting the NOIM, Date and place of Birth electronically! - What a time to be alive! (Thanks Josh)!
30.20 – Sighting evidence of identity electronically.
33:40 – The Electronic Transactions act
34:07 – What is a Commissioner for Declarations?
36:15 – Children of previous marriages – Australian Bureau of Statistics
41:50 – Conference chat - DJ Alliance of Australia https://www.djaa.org.au/
52.22 – Doing the Cert IV with Sarah and Lifeskills Training https://www.lifeskillstraining.com.au/
59:00 – Silver Celebrant Funeral training – Robyn O’Connell https://www.silvercelebrants.com.au/
### Five easy SEO hacks you can do that are driven by research
Everyone knows a guy who knows a guy who can get you on the front page of Google. I'd argue that you might not want to be on the front page of Google for everything, but it doesn't hurt for the right people to be able to find you.
In this article I'm not going to add to the SEO noise, you can read a million articles about SEO practises and there are even more people willing to take your cash to make it work for you.
But if you don't mind kicking around the shed that is your website, here's a check list of things you can change or improve on, and they're backed up with good research. As opposed to the standard old wives tale SEO advice that most people's parent's next-door neighbours are dishing out.
Nearly 2% of websites are marked 'noindex' ... so make sure that your page is actually indexable by Google. If you've marked it as noindex, that means "No, do not add me to the index of your search engine, I desire that no-one should find me". Check here to see if you are actually being indexed.
25% of all small business websites are missing an H1 tag. This is HTML code for number one heading, aka, the string of test that most aptly describes what your website is for.
Businesses with 4 or more stars on Google My Business outrank those with less than 4 stars by 11%. So get those Google My Business reviews pumping.
Adding a 'meta description' to your website is something people told you to do in 1999 on your website, but somewhere in the last decade it became uncool. But the research shows that your website is 17% higher in the Google rankings if you have created a meta description for your website, and it'd be even higher if it was a well written and good meta description.
Linking to websites that aren't your own is good for your ranking, and it's even better if those outbound links actually have something to do with your business.
Making your website HTTPS secure with an SSL certificate is not only better for Google rankings, as Neil Patel explains, it's also just a good look for your branding as Apple Safari, Mobile Safari, and Google Chrome, all now make a big visual deal out of telling visitors if websites do not have a secure connection. Our web host even dishes them out for free through Let's Encrypt, yours might too, but even if it costs you $50, that's $50 to save face as people visit your website.
### Celebrants (and creatives) are not paid per hour
There's a services directory in Australia that does all of it's math as to how expensive or cheap service people like celebrants are, per hour. I hate seeing it pop up in different Google searches as I firmly believe that it's a broken system in paying creative service people.
I believe with all my mind, body, and soul, that service people aren't paid per hour, they're paid for how much value they bring to that hour.
The $100 an hour man
One of my lecturers in college embedded this ideology in me when he said, in 2003 terms, that each of us in the class could choose to be a $25 per hour person, a $50 per hour person, or a $100 per hour person.
The simple side of his argument is that each one of us would turn up for the same hour, but one of us would bring $25 of value, another would bring $50 of value, and another would bring one hundred Aussie dollars of value to someone's world.
16 years on I think the numbers might be a little different, but the philosophy still works out.
The $500 per hour celebrant
My challenge to each of you is to consider what a $500 per hour celebrant would look like. If you're stuck for ideas, I'll tell you that the celebrant I'm thinking of is myself.
The average minimum amount of time I might spend with my couples is three hours. The average is probably closer to six, and for some it blows out to 12 if I am their MC as well.
Three hours, $1500 invoice, $50 per hour. Ludicrous you might say, but I know that if I meet with a couple for three hours, in a sales meeting, a planning meeting, getting there 30 minutes before the ceremony and performing an 18 minute ceremony, that I can easily bring $1500 worth of value to them.
The important angle to acknowledge is that the value to the couple is how they feel after the ceremony. My plan is for them to feel happy, encouraged, so very encouraged to the deepest parts of their soul, and that they would feel prepared to tackle all of their guests and celebrate through the rest of the day.
My value is that my couple's marriage ceremony is the best part of their wedding, nothing else beats it, and that's worth way more than $1500 to my clients.
The $50 per hour celebrant
I'm so aware of our colleagues that might have twelve hours of face time with their couples, and charge them $600. What's their value proposition? It's actually not for us to judge because their value proposition, and their bookkeeping isn't my business.
But my encouragement to you and to them, is to ascertain what kind of celebrant you want to be, and to work towards that goal with education, training, mentorship, in a functioning and healthy community, with an open heart and ears to feedback and growth.
Starting out
I'm on the record for supporting celebrants that start their business by offering low rates. They can't possibly provide the kind of value to a couple that an established celebrant can. That first wedding they should probably pay the couple for the opportunity as the celebrant is getting more value out of the exchange than the couple is.
But as you grow, and learn, and increase in your skillset you should always be adjusting your price, if your value exchange has increased.
Levelling out
Once you've established your business and found that fee, you might be set to make that price and put it in concrete, but I hope that your value exchange is always growing and that the couples you marry next year and getting way more value than the couples you married last year.
My July challenge
Here's my annual challenge to you. Every July, take a moment to assess what value you are bringing to your couples, and what you are charging for that value. If the value given has increased, but your fee hasn't, you're sending mixed messages to the market. You're communicating how much you care, and how much this business, and your couples' weddings mean to you.
If you value has changed, and I hope that after a year of reading this little blog it has, then your price should change as well.
### What does Queensland BDM email people after their marriage is registered?
I've been telling couples that after their marriage ceremony the Queensland Births, Deaths, and Marriages will email them with "an opportunity to order their marriage certificate" but I had not actually seen one of those emails yet. I'm guessing you hadn't either.
I know this isn't fascinating content, but it's good to know what your clients are experiencing so you can coach them into it and cement yourself as an expert in this field.
So here's what the Qld BDM emails a couple after you register a marriage online with them:
Reference Number: {reference number}
Thank you for your application received at the Queensland Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages on {date}.
We need your payment of {amount}, before we can process your application.
To do this, please go to qld.gov.au/paybdm and:
Enter this Reference Number: {reference number}
Pay for your order using a valid credit card (MasterCard or Visa only)
We will cancel your certificate application in 60 days if we don't hear from you.
If you can't pay online or have any other questions about your application, please contact us quoting your reference number at: {reference number}
Email: bdm-mail@justice.qld.gov.au
Phone: 13 74 68
International: +61 7 3405 0985 (+10 hours UTC)
(Lines are open Monday – Friday, 8:30am – 4:30pm)
If you have already made payment for the above application, please disregard this email.
### What does our annual registration fee pay for?
A celebrant asks:
After a chat with some other celebrants recently, it occurred to me that I had no idea what our annual registration fee actually goes towards other than a vague concept of it supporting the Marriage Celebrants Programme. What benefits do we receive in return for our compulsory registration fee?
First up, a reminder about the difference and separation between the Commonwealth Attorney General's Department and the State Registries of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
As Commonwealth-Registered Marriage Celebrants, we are appointed under the Commonwealth Marriage Act 1961. I know this next bit will be very obvious for some of you, but I'm going to say it anyway. Commonwealth means the whole of Australia. That means that we are appointed by the Australian Government, and it doesn't matter where we live when we're appointed, we are able to perform marriages anywhere in Australia. You don't need to register in another state to perform marriages there, you're just allowed to marry people anywhere in Australia. Yay! CRMCs are managed by the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section of the Commonwealth Attorney General's Department, the section that is responsible for the administration of the Marriage Act and Marriage Regulations, and that's who we pay our registration fee to. More on what it pays for later. They're essentially responsible for anything that happens up to and including during the marriage ceremony.
State Registries of Births, Deaths and Marriages are responsible for registering marriages that take place in their state, regardless of the home address of the celebrant or the couple. They are essentially responsible for things that happen after the marriage ceremony has taken place. Each of the state registries does basically the same job, but some of them have different processes, some of them have different ways of receiving marriage documentation (online or by mail), and some of them have different ideas on what information should be included in marriage documentation.
So what do we pay for?
We pay our annual registration fee to the Commonwealth (Australian) Government, and it is a cost recovery scheme; it's designed so that regular taxpayers don't pay for the costs associated with a program that they don't benefit from. It's a user-pays system. So we, Commonwealth-Registered Marriage Celebrants, as end users of the program administered by the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section, pay for the costs of running that program, which is mainly salaries (approximately 90%) and maintenance of the IT system underpinning administration of the program (approximately 10%). Every year the Government publishes a statement (the Cost Recovery Implementation Statement) outlining what the registration fees have been used for; you can find the latest one here.
What do we not pay for?
We pay nothing to the Registries of Births, Deaths and Marriages. Nothing. Not a cent. The money we pay does not go to staffing or IT systems or anything else related to registering marriages. Many of you will be aware of the disastrous rollout of the Registry Information Online (RIO) system in Victoria, and many Victorian celebrants have been calling for a discount or waiver of our registration fee this year due to the difficulties we've faced. This is simply not going to happen, because we don't pay our fee to BDM, and BDM doesn't benefit in any way from our fees. The Commonwealth Government and State Registries of Births, Deaths and Marriages are completely separate entities that often don't even talk to each other, let alone share funding.
Hopefully that's cleared a few things up for people!
### Sharing ceremony content
Jeff asks:
I share my ceremonies with my couples using Google Docs. Every once in awhile I have a venue coordinator or wedding planner request access to the document, to which I normally deny access by kindly emailing them directly asking if I can help them out with anything specific. I kind of feel like there's no reason for them to need to see the ceremony or have access, especially if it's a venue I've been at a bunch of times. I would never request access to their day-of timeline they've created, that's their business...
I also don't love sharing an entire ceremony with someone who I don't really know. I mean, really, my style and delivery are what couples hire me for, not reeeeally the words in a ceremony, but if I've spent all this time writing it, I don't feel like I need to just hand it over to anyone who asks, especially someone in the local wedding market.
What do you think? Tell 'em to take a hike or ease up a bit, Jeff, and share away?
Obviously Josh is of no use for this question, because he doesn't write a ceremony script, so this is Sarah's view only!
I'd be thinking along exactly the same lines as Jeff! It's a completely weird request, to be perfectly honest; why on earth would they need or want to see the entire ceremony? I'd be doing the same thing Jeff already does; email them, ask them (nicely) what they want it for, because it might be simpler if I could just answer their questions, rather than them wading through all the words they don't need to find the answers they do.
There's also the potential issue that one of those venue coordinators might decide they want to be a celebrant, and then they've got a bunch of scripts hanging around that they can "borrow"; it's not unheard of here, that a venue coordinator becomes a celebrant, and as much as I'm all for sharing, I want people to ask me to share the proper way, if that makes sense!
So I think Jeff should continue to do what he's doing! What do others think?
### 24 ways you give the rest of us an advantage (or, Liene brings the fire)
Liene at Think Splendid has dropped some absolute fire on the wedding industry today. I love this. You should read the piece and follow her links for context, but here's the drop:
Your ego is their competitive advantage.
Your complacency is their competitive advantage.
Your procrastination is their competitive advantage.
Your impatience is their competitive advantage.
Your laziness is their competitive advantage.
Your inflexibility is their competitive advantage.
Your jealousy and the decisions you allow it to drive is their competitive advantage.
Your bitterness from clinging to a grudge is their competitive advantage.
Your glorification of busy is their competitive advantage.
Your “no new friends” rule is their competitive advantage.
Your red tape is their competitive advantage.
Your lack of process is their competitive advantage.
Your lack of research is their competitive advantage.
Your preference for short cuts over healthier, organic growth is their competitive advantage.
Your inability to prioritize your time is their competitive advantage.
Your micromanagement is their competitive advantage.
Your refusal to do the boring, unglamorous, tedious work is their competitive advantage.
Your insistence on putting all your eggs in the Instagram basket is their competitive advantage.
Your being ‘too good' to attend that event is their competitive advantage.
Your habit of indulging your FOMO (fear of missing out) rather than strategic JOMO (joy of missing out) is their competitive advantage.
Your refusal to ask for help is their competitive advantage.
Your staying within your comfort zone is their competitive advantage.
Your never raising your hand to ask questions is their competitive advantage.
Your nostalgia for the “good old days” of the industry in 2014/2004/1994 is their competitive advantage.
Work smarter. Work harder. It’s not an either/or scenario, and hasn’t been for a long time.
### Who are the wedding awards for?
I’m sitting in a cafe in Queenstown sitting next to a table of people I don’t recognise, but judging by their conversation, they’re actresses from the USA who have varying thoughts about the Tony Awards.
One of the girls said something that resonated with a recent conversation thread I’ve been in. (Here’s two links to two Facebook posts - first and second - on my page that pretty much embody the entire conversation thread, spoiler alert, they’re about the ABIA Awards, and also, I highly recommend diving into the comments):
I don’t need the validation of the awards, but I need the people who care about the awards to know that I won an award.
That right there is pretty much the crux of the awards systems.
You’re gathering resources for people who need those resources.
If you have researched and identified that the people who you want to book you and pay your way, are the people who care about awards, then dive in head first and start swimming around in that awards sea.
If you believe with all your heart, mind, body, and soul that the people you would like to book you to be their celebrant also care deeply about the ABIA Awards, the Brides Choice Awards, the Wedding Industry Expert Awards, or any other half cocked brand for an awards system, then sign up and pay your dues today.
Josh’s take
I do not believe that the couples I want to book me care about the awards.
Your take
Jump in the comments with your insightful and helpful comments about the awards systems.
### Visa/residence requirements for marrying in Australia
A celebrant asks:
I have a groom whose status in Australia is as a 'permanent resident' which was granted last year. (He is from the UK.) To be sure to satisfy both myself and also the couple, this status does NOT require any additional paperwork/applications etc to legally marry here in Australia, correct?
This celebrant is absolutely correct! There are no visa or residence requirements for a party to get married in Australia, and nothing additional they or the celebrant has to do around their marriage.
This literally means a couple from overseas can fly in on a tourist visa on the morning of their wedding, get married, and fly home again that afternoon. Why on earth anyone would want to do that is beyond me, but it's possible!
The only thing we should be aware of when marrying couples who live permanently overseas (which is not relevant for this question but I'm throwing it in as an extra!) is that the party/ies should check with their home country whether there are any requirements before or after the marriage to ensure that marriage is recognised in their home country. For example, there's a country where if a couple is getting married overseas they have to register their intent to marry with their own government before the marriage (and I can't for the life of me remember which country it is). It's also common for overseas countries to require couples to have their Australian marriage certificate authenticated. So it's important just to remind couples that if they're planning to go back and live in their home country after their Australian marriage, they need to check if there's anything they need to do to have their marriage recognised at home.
### Your priorities are visible
Some emails get quick replies from me, others have to wait a week. Sometimes I'll go a few days without posting on social media, but I haven't missed a wedding yet. I have a simple set of priorities in my life. My family, Britt and Luna, are first. Second is a marriage ceremony, third is my friendships and wider community and family. Fourth is sales and marketing, and replying to enquiries. Fifth is the admin side of the business, and sixth is tidying up my office.
My office is never tidy.
But my priorities are clear.
Priorities
Bernadette writes on priorities:
What we prioritise is an indication of what we care about, and conversely what we care about should be what we prioritise. Our values can be the foundation of a winning strategy because what we believe determines what we do.
Values are the beginnings of the signals we send and the stories we tell to the world. What we choose to do or not to do is a sign of what matters to us and in turn, helps people to decide if they want to align with our brands or ideas.
Sharing your values, and better, demonstrating them to your customers is a smart strategy. How are you doing that in your business?
### Start how you’d like to finish
Britt’s grandma always said that you should start how you want to finish. It’s an important thing to note in a world where we’re all living for today. If you can push against that cognitive bias to only live for now, and start thinking about the future, it’s highly possible you’ll start making difference decisions.
Seth Godin covers this idea in a recent blog post.
And if you start a company, you should realize that you’re probably going to either sell it or fold it one day, and neither has to be a catastrophe or a failure. Beginning is magical. So is finishing. We can embrace both.
Have you considered what your celebrancy practise looks like in a year, ten years, or fifty years? What decisions could you make today that would make next year, ten years away, fifty years away, better?
### The stories you’re forgetting to tell on social media
Bernadatte writes one of my favourite blogs, called The Story of Telling.
In a recent post she asked the question “What stories are you forgetting to tell?”
Often our best stories are the ones that seem insignificant to us. We take the things we do well for granted. We forget that what’s simple to us might be insightful for others. We become accustomed to doing the work without celebrating or showing the results. And that’s a problem.
If we don’t articulate and share our strengths, how will our right people know?
If we don’t show people how we can help them, how will they know to ask for our help?
If we don’t communicate our value, how will our work become valued?
And if we don’t practice understanding our strengths, how will we build on them?
Jump onto your Facebook page now and schedule up three posts for the next three days:
Tell a story with a photo about the work you’re most proud of.
Tell a story about how a couple felt after your work.
Tells a story about something you’ve learned recently.
There’s so many more prompts, but those three are a start. Jump into the comments and share your stories as well. As we hear each others stories they bring out stories in ourselves.
I’ll finish how I started, by quoting Bernadatte: “Your stories are more powerful than you think.”
### How to change what address appears on your AG Register listing
As a follow-up to my recent post about a super easy and free advertising platform for Australian celebrants, this is how you can change which address is displayed in your listing.
As mentioned in that post, I only display the suburb I live in, as I'm not interested in people knowing where I live. Josh displays his PO box. Here's how you make changes.
Log in to the Marriage Celebrants Portal. This is the place where you can pay your annual registration fee, check you've complied with your OPD obligations, and make changes to your celebrant profile. This is the page you'll see when you log in:
I've blocked out my A number for privacy; yours will show up right there where the black rectangle is.
Click on the Profile link, either in the top toolbar or under the word Home. Go to Change Contact Details. Scroll down until you can see the contact and address details. You need to toggle those little slider things to green for anything you want published, and black for anything you don't want published.
You can see above that I've chosen that my email address and mobile number should be published on the register, because I've toggled the sliders to green.
And in this one you can see that although I've listed my residential address (again blacked out for privacy), I've toggled the sliders to black. If I then chosen Residential address down the bottom where it says "include principal residential or postal address" it would only display the suburb, state and postcode. I've toggled my postal address to green, showing that I'm happy for it to be displayed, and then chosen Postal address down the bottom.
I hope that helps!
### The easiest and cheapest advertising platform for Australian celebrants
I've been looking at the Attorney General's Register of Celebrants quite a lot in the last few days (yes, I'm a nerd, we all know that, but it's for another post!) and I am STAGGERED to discover how many celebrants are not utilising this utterly simple and completely free advertising platform.
All authorised celebrants in Australia are listed on the publicly-available Register of Celebrants, housed on the Attorney General's Department's website. A typical listing contains the celebrant's name, the date they were registered, whether or not they're currently active, what kind of ceremonies they're registered to solemnise, and their contact details.This is my listing:
This is Josh's listing:
As you can see, we both have mobile numbers and email addresses listed. But some celebrants have no contact details listed at all. None!
I can't tell you how important that is; my very first wedding booking came through my listing on this Register, and I've taken no less than 12 bookings that have told me that's where they found me in the last five years.
It's completely free, all you have to do is keep your contact details up to date (which we're required to do within 30 days of making any change; that's in the legislation) and your listing will automatically appear. Of course you can choose not to list certain details; I choose not to list a street address because I don't want people knowing where I live (and I didn't know you could list a PO Box like Josh does; I'll need to look into that). But some celebrants are clearly choosing not to list any of their contact details, and I think they're making a mistake!
Yes, of course listing your details here will open you up to all sorts of marketing emails and calls from directories and other people who want to sell you stuff, but that's just a minor inconvenience of running a business. If you want to marry people, they have to find you; if you want them to find you, you have to list your details in places.
So my advice to you today is to go check your listing at this website: https://marriage.ag.gov.au/marriagecelebrants/civil
If it's not displaying the way you want it to, you can make changes in your Marriage Celebrant Portal (the one we go to for our registration invoice payments, not a state BDM portal). Use this platform, it's free and easy!
### Shut down the myths around getting married and hiring a celebrant
I'm flying to Europe soon and I've put in for a first class upgrade. On Qantas you can apply for an upgrade and it costs you thousands of frequent flyer points. That's how you fly first class, either that or you pony up the cash for it. In the history of flying the smallest handful of people have been upgraded to first class on a whim.
But if you talk to most people that don't fly that often they will share the myth that if you are dressed well, looking sharp, feeling pretty, and you are nice to the check-in staff, the boarding staff, and the cabin crew, that you will hopefully be chosen for an upgrade.
That's the problem with the areas of life that we don't touch on often, they're filled with mystery and intrigue.
Whether it's parking in a no-parking zone, or changing those not-so-visible settings on your iPhone, the less trafficked areas of our lives are filled with myths.
Getting married is a great example.
I just had a couple who I'm marrying in Italy next year try to book the Melbourne registry office for me to do their Australian legals in. I'd never been more bewildered, particularly as I'd said that we'd just do it in a cafe on a certain date.
They replied "we thought you had to book the registry office."
As the people in the wedding industry who intimately know the inner-workings of getting married the responsibility to drag these myths into the light and to showcase the truth, the liberty, and the opportunity for joy in getting married.
Use your blog, your Youtube channel, your Instagram stories, your Facebook posts to call out the myths and to speak truth.
That's how you become an industry leader.
### What exactly is a Commissioner for Declarations?
On page 4 of the NOIM, in the tiny font underneath the signature panels, there is a list of people who can witness the signatures of the parties on the NOIM. There's a rather confusing entry in this list for people who can witness the signatures on a NOIM signed in Australia:
Commissioner for Declarations under the Statutory Declarations Act 1959 (Cth)
This entry is perplexing, because there is no definition of Commissioner for Declarations contained in the current Statutory Declarations Act. In fact, the term "Commissioner for Declarations" doesn't appear in the current Statutory Declarations Act at all. Go on, check for yourself, I'll wait...
If you Google "Commissioner for Declarations under the Statutory Declarations Act 1959, you get a list of results that doesn't clear things up at all whatsoever.
Some people think that it means anyone who can witness the signature on a statutory declaration; the 2018 Guidelines on the Marriage Act for Authorised Celebrants rules this out:
A Commissioner for Declarations is not the same as a person before whom a Commonwealth Statutory Declaration may be made – they are specifically appointed people who will have written evidence of their appointment.
Commissioners for Declarations are appointed under state and territory laws. Only some states and territories appoint Commissioners for Declarations. If the parties to the marriage wish to use a Commissioner for Declarations, the parties should check whether Commissioners exist in the jurisdiction in which they reside. The best way to do this is by contacting the relevant state or territory government where the NOIM is to be witnessed.
Further to that second point above, I did find pages from the Queensland and Tasmanian government talking about Commissioners for Declarations, but that got even more confusing; in Tasmania, for example, pharmacists are Commissioners for Declaration automatically by virtue of their registration as a pharmacist, but as we know, pharmacists cannot usually witness signatures on the NOIM.
So I thought it was time to clear this up once and for all, and I wrote to the AGD about it on 14 May:
I'm having a lot of trouble getting a grasp on exactly who is a Commissioner for Declarations for purposes of witnessing signatures on the NOIM. From my reading it looks like theCommissioner for Declarations is a state-based qualification that potentially only exists in Queensland and Tasmania. In Tasmania it seems to cover a lot of occupations, such as pharmacists and physiotherapists, that would not usually be allowed to witness signatures on the NOIM.
I would love to get some firm guidance on who is a Commissioner for Declarations for the purposes of witnessing signatures on the NOIM.
Today, on 11 June, I got a response, which given it's less than a month is kind of amazing, but let's not get too excited about it, because basically it's the equivalent of them shrugging their shoulders:
Section 42(2) of the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth) provides that a NOIM may be signed by a party in Australia in the presence of a Commissioner for Declarations under the Statutory Declarations Act 1959 (Cth).
A Commissioner for Declarations is not defined in the current Statutory Declarations Act, but a definition was last inserted in the 1991 version of this Act under the former section 4 as follows:
'Commissioner for Declarations' means a person appointed under this Act or under a State Act to be a Commissioner for Declarations’.
The Commonwealth repealed this definition in 1991 and the Commonwealth no longer appoints people to this position. However, it may be that a person who previously held this title under Commonwealth law, still holds this title unless it has been cancelled.
While Commissioners for Declarations under State and Territory laws may witness certain legal documents including statutory declarations, due to appointment or by virtue of their profession, it is unclear whether a person who is a Commissioner for Declarations under a state law could be a witness to a NOIM, where there has been no specific 'appointment' as used in the former definition in the Marriage Act and Statutory Declarations Act.
If it is unclear whether a person is 'a Commissioner for Declarations under the Statutory Declarations Act 1959', it is recommended that a party find another witness for the NOIM such as an authorised celebrant, a justice of the peace, a barrister or solicitor, a medical practitioner or a member of the Australian Federal Police or the police force of a State or Territory.
We cannot advise when the Marriage Act will be amended to remove the reference to a Commissioner for Declarations under the Statutory Declaration Act 1959, we will however, remove this reference from the Notice itself when it is next updated.
My emphasis, obviously.
So basically, they have no idea who can witness the signatures on a NOIM under the qualification "Commissioner for Declarations under the Statutory Declarations Act 1959 (Cth)". It's not a thing that exists anymore, and they don't know whether state-based appointments are actually relevant, despite what the Guidelines say.
In summary, please start ignoring that qualification on the NOIM. If you can't witness their signatures yourself, send your couples to get their signatures witnessed by a JP, a police officer, or a GP. And let's hope the next version of the NOIM really is updated!
### Celebrant numbers at 10 June 2019
So we all know I'm a nerd. I think that's a given by now, right? Well, here's a bit more evidence of my nerd status, or, as someone told me today, my need for a hobby :) I offer this information with no judgement or comment; it is simply of interest to me as a nerd, and if the number of questions I get about it in OPD are of any indication, it's also of interest to many others. I'm also not interested in opening up a discussion about the pros or cons of the Religious Marriage Celebrant category; I firmly believe that if this hadn't been a possibility, we still wouldn't have marriage equality today.
Those of you who've been paying attention will know that when marriage equality became a thing on 9 December 2017, there was the possibility for Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrants who performed civil ceremonies to put their hand up and say they had a religious objection to same-sex marriage, and therefore move from being Category C Marriage Celebrants and become a Category D Religious Marriage Celebrant. This would allow them to refuse to marry a same-sex couple and not be sued for discrimination. This was only open to celebrants who were registered on 9 December 2017, and it was only possible for them to make the change for three months; by 9 March 2018 any celebrants who wanted to move needed to have done so, and the option will never be available again.
(Please note this is different from Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrants who conduct ceremonies for independent religious organisations; they also moved into Category D, and new people will always be able to become such celebrants.)
My training buddy, Cheryl Landsberry, and I were pretty interested in how many Category C celebrants decided to move into Category D, so after 9 March 2017 we counted. There was no way to filter the celebrant listings on the Register of Marriage Celebrants, we just had to go through page by page and count how many had the notation Religious Marriage Celebrant under their names. We decided to also include the numbers of Ministers of Religion of Recognised Denominations (Category A), and Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrants who conduct ceremonies for independent religious organisations (previously Category C, now Category D). This is what we came up with at the end of March 2018:
I was interested to see if there'd been much change after the first year of this new category. I've heard anecdotal reports that some celebrants have chosen to jump back from Category D into Category C because they've seen a negative impact on their enquiry rate from having to call themselves Religious Marriage Celebrants in all their advertising. So I've spent the last few days recounting. (Once again, yes, I'm a nerd who needs a hobby.) This is what I came up with as at 10 June 2019:
As you can see, there's been some changes. It's impossible for us to know which celebrants have jumped from Category D to Category C, but it is possible to see that the numbers in Category D have decreased in the 15 months since this category closed. The number of celebrants performing civil ceremonies has also increased in this time, so the percentage is less helpful, but it still shows a decrease in Religious Marriage Celebrants as a percentage of celebrants performing civil ceremonies.
Again, I provide this information with no judgement or comment, just to satisfy the nerds out there like me who were interested :)
### Simplify your celebrancy practice
In the chaotic and wild adventure that planning and hosting a wedding is I always try to remain a calm, cool, friendly face to my couples. This sounds like a great idea, but you need systems and processes to allow yourself to be that cool and calm.
I was inspired recently by Hans Hofmann, the artist, who talked about simplicity as
The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.
Those words have echoed so deep into my celebrancy practice.
What is unnecessary to me, my couples, and the law, in my celebrancy practise. Do I really need this detail on this form, or this questionaire to be answered?
What is necessary for the lawful solemnisation of their marriage? What is necessary for the couple to feel like they are dealing with a professional, let alone a professional celebrant? What is necessary for me to be the best celebrant I am?
Refining our celebrancy practise down to the necessary let's your truth speak louder as it's not clouded by the unnecessary noise of the everything!
Marketing
What is necessary for people to value you, trust you, and hire you? Is all this stuff on your website, business card, email templates, expo stand, gift pack, social media necessary?
What is necessary to have at your expo stand?
What is not needed on your business card?
What's the minimum amount of words you can have on your website to explain who you are, what you do, and how you bring value into their life?
Business processes
What forms are necessary? Do you need the couple to print out a PDF, fill it out and scan it to send back to you to book you, or would an online form suffice?
How has your lawyer advised you to get your service contract signed in this digital world?
Is a NOIM necessary to book you or can you do it separately?
Is it unnecessary to mail an invoice? Can your accounting program email it and maybe even accept credit card payments?
Ceremony
If you had a gun to your head and you had to do the simplest ceremony possible to fulfil the legal obligations, whilst encouraging the crowd to cheer the couple on, and also the couple feel encouraged, loved, and valued, how long is that ceremony?
Are you saying things in your ceremonies that hold no value? Are there things happening in your ceremonies that are just there because "that's what everyone does?"
Simplify so you can run your own race
Let go of all the baggage and be you. That's who your couples want to meet, hire, and celebrate with: you!
### Would you follow you?
Would you follow yourself on social media?
If you saw that a friend of yours commented on one of your posts so it floated up to your news feed, and you clicked through to your profile, would you follow it?
If you stumbled across one of your videos online, would you watch it to the end? Would you click through to see if there were more videos to watch?
If you Googled for something to do with your wedding and you found your blog, would you read that article? Then would you go back to the main blog page and start reading other articles?
If you saw one of your social media photos, would you look at that photo, like it, and hope there were more photos like that?
If you were looking for a celebrant, and you visited your website, would you enquire with you?
If you didn’t know your name or what you looked like, would you be able to find that out on your social media profiles or on your website?
Would you pay you a lot of money to marry you?
Would you follow you?
### An example of finding your 'Almost Nobody'
In a post yesterday I described the hard work of finding your 'Almost Nobody'.
This, I argue, is your life's work, and something that will forever be changing. A good example of me doing that work in my own business is by filtering out the 'Everybody' and making room for the 'Almost Nobody' to feel comfortable on my social media.
This Facebook post on my business page is a solid example of me filtering out Everybody, letting them know I am not the celebrant for them if they find this offensive. Yet in the same action, telling the Almost Nobody's of this world that I might just be the kind of celebrant they are looking for.
Because I shared authentically, I shared my story, and I shared my heartbeat.
https://www.facebook.com/marriedbyjosh/posts/2222240601191270?__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARB_kKdsyAwN2IJ2L5kRr1JEjQ4JMCxSbk0BJn0HuI6EZBTjHi8142Ba6dMWxgmfrU-91ejsPlWmV_dzISCZjhrwT9vlPdSgtiyIIbK-aSNdd838CcuoQxHfXQi1NTvypFfY7_XCrST8DLR6pj0Tn5-5VIpV1aIG19ZMD-PHMgmwAn6oaFWlkpYfO0DR7nANPqlpe-tHQ1hvPoyELMrAQ7SIkpinXrKG4aUhYxiQGfhs5Z9mUl_IZ1wGgeb6hDpgyzs9y63ESAXJm0-1FZJtBrcqNsSqNi-GJMHUDaT872ylYcfMjsX4Ypu0n7o3kmdj48yqvIISuCzHABMEftYovQ&__tn__=-R
The key isn't just the post, but the conversation in the comments. Welcoming people in, joining the conversation, sharing your heart, and being kind to those who disagree.
Authenticity is what social media is lacking today. Go and bare your soul on your Facebook page today.
### Almost Nobody, wants you to be their celebrant
Almost Nobody, wants you to be their celebrant and that is really good news.
Everybody, wants a celebrant that is nothing like you.
Everybody, is almost offended by the fact you even exist, let alone that you think they would even consider you for their wedding.
But Almost Nobody is over the moon that you would even consider taking their call. Almost Nobody will change their wedding date just so you can be their celebrant!
Everybody is a pain in the ass
Everybody is quite the picky person when it comes to choosing a marriage celebrant. If you're male, Everybody wants a female. If you're a female, they want a transgender person. If you're a transgender person, Everybody is transphobic. If you provide a PA system Everybody doesn't want you to supply one. If you don't supply a PA system they want you to. You might write a custom ceremony for every single couple, but Everybody just wants the ceremony they found on Google. Everybody is quite painful as a customer aren't they?
Synecdoche
A recent episode of Seth Godin's podcast, Akimbo, titled Synecdoche, details this amazing word. Pronounced sin-ek-deck-eee, it is an important concept about using the part to describe the whole. It's about the fact that Everybody barely exists outside of our imagination. Synecdoche is when we refer to the United States making a decision when it was actually the White House. But it wasn't even the White House, it was a Presidential staffer just doing her job, but the rest of the world uses synecdoche in saying that the USA has made a decision.
Synecdoche is a fiction, but it helps us tell a story. Everybody is a synecdoche.
Everybody
If Everybody wanted you to be their celebrant you would find yourself in such a pickle. All of the emails, phone calls, and meetings. So many expectations, and even more than you could ever meet.
Everybody wanting you to be their celebrant would be an exercise in fatigue, depression, unhappiness in the work you are creating, and you'd lose that five star Google rating pretty quickly. Everybody will view you, your systems, your work, differently, some will think its a one star performance, some three, some five. You'll be the world's best three star celebrant before you know it and Everybody will be referring you to all their friends!
Coming to terms with Almost Nobody wanting you to be their celebrant is going to be the most soul fulfilling thing you do all week.
0.05% of the population is getting married this year
Realising that there are about 3.5 million weddings happening across the globe very year, and almost none of those people want you to marry them, is quite relieving. It's like a weight being taken off your shoulders. 3.5 million couples is a pretty accurate description of Everybody, but each one of those couples has a different worldview, a different taste, different culture, beliefs, and families.
Everybody is 3.5 million couples but each one of those couples is Almost Nobody on the search for the wedding suppliers that suit their tastes perfectly. In Australia it's about 130,000 couples. You don't want Everybody. You desperately want Almost Nobody to book you.
Who is Almost Nobody
Airplane food
Writing this article I'm sitting on an international flight where I've just been handed a complimentary meat pie that would have to be the worst meat pie I've ever tasted. Seriously bad pie. The stale cold service station meat pie in the warmer at your local BP is better. The good news for Jetstar is that Everybody is ok with meat pies of this vintage. Everybody wants to fly internationally for less. Almost Nobody is willing to pay to fly business class on a full service airline, that's why on a flight of more than one hundred people there are only twelve or so business class seats. Almost Nobody values the Qantas Business Class service, but that's all Qantas needs to provide it. Business Class is quite inconvenient for Qantas to provide, but Almost Nobody will fly Qantas for the rest of their life because of it. Almost Nobody is evangelical about how good Qantas is because of the hard work Qantas puts into providing that service.
Coffee
If you're a barista you have to realise that everybody will buy the $1 7-Eleven coffee, the coffee everybody is buying, but if everybody was in line at your coffee machine every morning you'd be in a wold of pain. Your work is to make not just ok coffee, not good coffee, not even great coffee, but exceptional coffee. Coffee that people will talk about. Coffee that people will bring other people to try. Coffee that people will blog about. Coffee that Almost Nobody wants to wait for, pay for, and drink. Almost Nobody will probably even pay more than you're currently charging. That's how much they want your coffee.
Pizza
The same applies to pizza. Dominos has the Everybody pizza market cornered. If you're a pizza shop that is not Dominos Pizza then if you're also pumping out average pizza, why would anyone else go to you? Dominos has better service, I can order online or in the app. I can pay with credit card and track the delivery driver. If you're not Dominos, and I need to get cash out at an ATM, and I can't track the driver in an app, why would I order average pizza from you?
If it's going to be inconvenient for me, this pizza better be amazing. Pizza worth sharing on my instagram stories. Almost Nobody is looking for pizza this exceptional that they will put on pants and leave the house to go and pick it up.
Photographers
Everybody can, does, and will make photos on their smartphones. Maybe Everybody even has a DSLR camera. The truth is that Everybody is making photos that quite often capture the truth of the moment, but maybe not the beauty.
Another thing Everybody cannot provide on their phone camera is the ability to be present. That's something I'm forever grateful for from Luna's birth - the freedom to be present. I didn't even think about my phone for hours that night.
But when Everybody has a camera in their phone, why would Everybody hire an ok photographer? Some People might even hire an average photographer. But no photographers are trying to reach front page on Google for "average Brisbane wedding photographer." Almost nobody is looking for an exceptionally talented and creative photographer and when Almost Nobody finds that photographer, they don't care what they cost.
Celebrants
This also applies a to celebrants.Your work is firstly to make exceptional ceremonies, then secondly to find the almost nobody, the handful of people who value you and what you do. The main advice I give to new and aspirational celebrants is that we already have enough bad celebrants, there's enough average celebrants, more than enough above average celebrants, and there's almost too many good celebrants. Australia is desperate for more exceptionally great celebrants. Please be an exceptionally great celebrant.
Please be a celebrant that Almost Nobody is desperately trying to find.
How do we find Almost Nobody?
I hope Sarah and I, here at the Celebrant Institute, can help you be exceptional and to find Almost Nobody. When Almost Nobody sends you an enquiry that's a win for you and a win for us, we're so excited for you.
Let's work on making exceptional marriage ceremonies and funerals together. Let's ask questions and attend conferences. Let's dedicate ourselves to making exceptional ceremonies.
Then let's work on telling your story to Almost Nobody. Let's refine and amplify your story. Then let's hit the streets and do the hard work. The non-scalable work of finding Almost Nobody.
Everybody is reading wedding blogs, wedding magazines and looking at wedding directories. But where is Almost Nobody?
When Almost Nobody wants you to be their celebrant your business will become sustainable, enjoyable, profitable, fun, and most of all, you get to sleep well at night knowing you are doing work that matters.
### Sarah is pretty riled up, plus funeral photography
Hi everyone and thanks for tuning in once more! This episode we chat about:
• funeral training and why Sarah continues to attend it, even with her level of experience
• funeral photography:
• https://thefuneralphotographer.com.au/
• https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-07/meet-john-slaytor-sydney-funeral-photographer/9113246
• outcomes from the May meeting between the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section and representatives of celebrant associations
• the disaster that is the Victorian BDM marriage registration system, and what's currently going on with it
• why join or stay in an association?
• https://celebrant.institute/membership/business/how-to-leave-a-celebrant-association/
• what advice would you give to an aspiring celebrant?
Wow! This episode really explains all the things!
To join an Association OR why you possibly wouldn’t….. ? J
It will have you counting your blessings you are a member of the Celebrant Institute and thanking the universe there is now an RTO lead by one of the best! https://www.lifeskillstraining.com.au/
Lastly, valuable advice to aspiring celebrants. So much gold in this ep! You’ll love it!
04:35 – Why would an experienced celebrant attend training?
07:38 – John Slater – Sydney Funeral photographer
07:38 – Why would you have a funeral photographer?
12:30 – Silver Celebrant Funeral training – Robyn O’Connell
14:30 – More on why would you attend a Training Seminar?
16.57 – The second you make the statement that you are at the top of your game, that’s the direct indicator that you haven’t. Dunning Kruger Effect
20:30 – Forms review chat
23: 45 – Celebrants working in an Electronic Environment
24:54 – Why do we still need to sign two copies of the Marriage Certificate plus Form 15 when we upload the MC to BDM thus not requiring two copies of the MC?
33:57 - Victorian BDM online – RIO Software - This is the part where Sarah gets riled up re delays in registration! (In relation to the VIC BDM System)
46:10 – Data entry changes in RIO (VIC BDM)
49:15 – Celebrant Associations – What is their purpose? Why we ARE or ARE NOT a member of an Association.
49:54 – Is the Celebrant Institution an Association?
50:06 – What is the Celebrant Institution and what do you do?
52:00 – AFCC Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants
53.50 – AMC Australian Marriage Celebrants https://www.marriagecelebrants.org.au/
55.23 - International College of Celebrancy Association of Alumni and Friends – ICCA
56.35 - Association of Civil Marriage Celebrants Victoria
59:43 - AFCC Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants
64:14 – AFCC Training strategy – The main reason Sarah was riled up this episode!
69:48 - Considering becoming a Celebrant? Advice for aspiring Celebrants
### How to leave a celebrant association
A few recent conversations with celebrants on social media have prompted me to the question: what is membership in a celebrant association for?
Traditionally the associations lobbied the Attorney-General's office, and the BDMs of each state, on our behalf - but that role has diminished seriously in recent years, with individual celebrants getting more done than an association has.
The associations offered group buying power in insurances, licenses, and OPD.
They offered community, but many celebrants who call this profession their full time job, offering services in the more modern and fun range of the industry, have never felt more unwelcome in associations - this author included. In fact the mere act of producing this blog has exempted me from nominating to be on the AFCC committee.
So in light of the recent changes in the celebrant community let me offer some solutions for either leaving your celebrant association or how to fill the gaps if you've never joined one (like about 60% of celebrants haven't).
Insurance
The common insurance offered by associations is about $3 million professional indemnity insurance and $20 million public liability insurance. In my ten years as a celebrant the only people that have wanted to see this insurance were wedding fairs, but that aside I still count these insurances as a valuable contribution to running a sustainable business.
I personally use GIO Mobile Protect because of my business structure (a company as trustee for a trust, with employees and contractors in a few different roles) and that costs me about $400 a year. But almost all celebrants do not need this kind of cover. Before I had this kind of business I insured through Duck For Cover and found their service great, and their pricing even better.
A quote from Duck for Cover's public liability and professional indemnity insurance comes in at $79 for the year (at time of post), Bizcover quoted me $8.80 a month, and a few other companies came in a little more.
The bonus with looking after your own insurance is that you are free to change as you see fit, you can seek out better deals through an insurance broker, and you can even add into it insurance for your PA system and computer equipment perhaps in the event of damage or theft.
Lobbying the higher-ups
Got a problem or question with being a celebrant, ask Sarah and I. Or if you don't want to talk to us, contact the AGD and BDM yourself. They report to us, we are Australian citizens living in a democracy and you have access to your government. If they don't resolve it, contact your local Member of Parliament (federal for AGD, state for BDM) and ask them for help. Your MPs exist to help you too.
Community
There are better communities than the heavily regulated ones ran by our celebrant associations. Here at the Celebrant Institute we currently do not run an online community because of the responsibility involved with running a Facebook Group or online form. But seek out community with local celebrants, or find a Facebook Group (there are hundreds), or join the Celebrant Society. Whatever you do, don't take the pre-made community an association has curated for you, take charge of who your friends, mentors, and coaches are.
Licenses
A copyright license is very important for many celebrants, so to find out if you need one, read through this checklist - then if you do need one, buy a CAL Copyright Licence here. You'll need to contact the CAL to enquire about a license for a marriage celebrant.
Marketing and advertising
I'll tell you that my website receives close to no traffic from the two associations I'm in. AFCC ran a massive advertising campaign in QantasLink magazines (not the main Qantas magazine, the regional airline QantasLink) which was not warmly received.
The story here is easy: don't rely on an association to sell you, your brand, your product, and your story. Your story is yours to tell, so go and tell the world.
OPD
Ongoing professional development isn't that expensive anyway, and when you take the discount of $20-$30 you're literally taking that out of the pockets of our OPD trainers. The associations aren't paying for that discount, the OPD trainers are taking a cut hoping that more of that association's members attend, so you're contributing to OPD being what most celebrants call a boring experience because everyone is trying to find the cheapest OPD. The race to the bottom of the market is a boring and broke one.
My advice, find the best OPD supplied by an OPD trainer that cares.
My other advice, come to the OPD the day before our conference in August 2019. Or if you can't make it to that OPD, then attend one of Sarah's dates.
Pretty folders
Jenny wrote in and asked about ceremony folders, I'll share my favourite, but you are free to comment with yours. I like my Oroton folio. I picked mine up for about $100 at an Oroton outlet store.
Do I hate associations?
No, I don't hate associations, they have been a foundation of the modern celebrant movement. But my nature has always been to question everything, to look at the world through a critical lens and to ask if we could do this better.
I believe that good could happen inside associations, but that good would happen quicker and to a larger scale if the associations were open to new blood in it's membership and committees and they seem largely afraid of that - so why submit yourself to that fear and loathing when you can provide the same services an association provides without receiving those emails.
In an effort to join the process and volunteer on a committee I've tried to join the AFCC committee for the last 3 years and have been blocked each time. So I'll commit my efforts here at the Celebrant Institute where our members value the work we make. Thank you!
### How value is really created
Your friend, and mine, Sarah Aird sent me this article yesterday because she thought I might find it interesting, but honestly, I hope all of you find it interesting. At the very core of what we do, the beating heart of being in business, is providing value to our clients.
Stop talking, ask questions and listen, and you’ll learn about them. In order to think like your customer, you must focus on your customer. Your customer could be a prospect, an existing client, a boss, a co-worker, a friend or family member. Your desire should be to create value for your customer, not just to communicate information about you (or just talk about yourself), your company, products and services, and therefore you need to have walked in their shoes. Before you make your value pitch (in whatever form that takes), a prerequisite is having a deep sense of what your customer values.
Read the entire article by Matthew McLean
### How to actually compete with other celebrants
Looking at your neighbour and wanting what they have is one of the most human traits you could find in a person. Yet the common advice is to not look at your competitors and to run your own race, which is honestly really healthy advice. I highly recommend it.
But here we all are and we spend a lot of time staling our competitors on social media, seeing the cool couples they are marrying and the awesome venues they’re working at.
What should we do about it?
Karl, a financial advisor, is quoted on Bernadette’s blog today with some really helpful words:
“I spent a lot of time paying attention to my competitors. But instead of worrying about what they excelled at, I wanted to know where they fell short. I found out what they wouldn’t do for their clients. And then I did the things they weren’t prepared to do for mine. Now, sometimes those things didn’t scale. They weren’t systems and processes I could easily automate. To an outsider that might have looked like a short-term disadvantage, but over time things that weren’t easy to replicate turned into my competitive advantage.”
Where do your competitors fall short?
View your competitors through this lens, but in a positive light.
An easy example might be that you consider me a competitors of yours (defining competitor as someone who is trying to eat the same slice of cake as you, not someone who wants a slice of the cake, but just not your slice).
If you were my competitor look at where I fall short:
I don’t want to attend rehearsals
I don’t value wedding traditions as much as some people
My fee is high because my celebrancy business supports my family and pays a mortgage. Maybe your mortgage is paid and your partner has a job that covers the bills?
I don’t read from a script.
What’s the story I don’t want to tell? You can, and maybe you should, tell that story.
### Tips for a first-time funeral celebrant
I get a lot of marriage celebrants contacting me after they’ve been asked to do their first funeral, asking for advice, information and templates. I thought I’d put all my tips in one place in the hopes that some of you might benefit from them!
I am by no means a funeral expert. As at 13 May 2019, as I write this, I’ve performed 83 funerals. Yes, I love funerals. Yes, I feel this is where I’m supposed to direct some of my energies. Yes, I believe I do an excellent job. But there are definitely funeral celebrants out there who are far more experienced than I am.
NB: I’m potentially going to sound a bit harsh in some of these points.This is purely because I am aiming to protect the families we work with, and the funeral celebrants I know who work really hard to perfect their craft.
Tip 1: Don’t say yes if you’re not ready
This is a big one. Pretty much every marriage celebrant will be asked to conduct a funeral at some point in their career. I’ve spoken to more than one marriage celebrant who has said “I know I’m going to get asked to do it one day, I really don’t want to ever do funerals, but I’m going to have to say yes.” NO, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY YES.
Some celebrants only want to perform marriage ceremonies, and that’s completely fine. Some celebrants are not interested in funerals, and that’s completely fine. Some celebrants don’t know how they would possibly hold it together if they did a funeral, and that’s completely fine.
If you don’t feel called to do funeral work (as wanky as that sounds), if you don’t feel passionate about helping a family at such a difficult time, don’t do it. It’s okay to say no.
I firmly believe that you would be letting a family down more by conducting a ceremony you didn’t want to do, didn’t have any experience in, and/or weren’t ready to do, than by saying to that family, “I’m really sorry, I don’t do funerals, but I can recommend my incredible colleague X who will look after you much better than I could.”
Tip 2: Do some training
On the other hand, if you do feel called to do this work, if you are passionate about working with grieving families and friends, get yourself set up by doing some training, so that when the time comes that you are asked to do a funeral, you have some foundations to lean on.
By the time I was asked to conduct my first funeral, about 15 months after I was registered as a marriage celebrant, I had done a training course, created a booking form with questions I would ask the family, written multiple scripts, performed one or two in class, observed an experienced celebrant performing a ceremony, and done lots of reading. I did not need to approach my network to ask someone to send me a script that I could essentially copy.
[purchase_link id="217376" style="button" color="blue" text="Buy our new funeral celebrant course"]
Here comes the harsh bit: why should funeral celebrants who have invested time and money in training and professional development, not to mention hours of work honing their writing skills and developing their information collecting systems, give you the products of that investment for free?
Yes, celebrants in general are a supportive bunch, and yes, I’m generally the first to jump in and help someone who needs it (particularly when it comes to Marriage Act questions), but to be honest I’m starting to get resentful of these requests, and I think people need to be mindful of what they’re asking for. It’s one of the reasons Josh and I developed the Celebrant Institute in the first place, so that we could be remunerated for the time and effort we put in to helping other celebrants succeed. (And yes, you can download my funeral document templates from the Celebrant Institute Shop; I’m okay with handing them over if you’re paying for them!)
So please, if you think you might ever want to do a funeral, even if it’s only if you’re asked by someone special, go do some training so you’re prepared when the day comes.
[purchase_link id="217376" style="plain" color="" text="Learn how to become a funeral celebrant in Australia"]
(As an aside, I insist my Cert IV students, most of whom are doing the course to hecome marriage celebrants, do a funeral unit as part of their general Cert IV training. I don’t provide intensive training for people who want to be full-time funeral celebrants, but I do provide enough information for marriage celebrants who may one day be called upon to perform a funeral; by the end of my course they will have a booking form and some sample scripts, and they will have written four funeral ceremonies and performed two. There’s enough there that they won’t need to ask anyone else for their hard-earned IP.)
Rant over.
Tip 3: Listen, listen, and listen some more
Of course we need to listen to our couples as marriage celebrants, but as funeral celebrants we need to listen even more intently. We need to listen to what is being said AND what is not being said. We need to listen to the silence and the pregnant pauses. We need to listen to the family members, the friends, and the funeral director. We need to listen to what a family is telling us rather than just ticking off the questions on your template list.
I had a student once who was performing a mock interview. At the start of the interview the family told her, “we don’t want any religion at all.” About 10 minutes later, she asked them if they wanted any prayers included in the ceremony. When I challenged her later, suggesting she shouldn’t have asked the prayers question because they’d told her they didn’t want any religion included, she said, “but that was the next question on my list.” Nope. Don’t do it. You’ve immediately told the family you’re not taking in what they’re saying.
The biggest compliment I have received from a family I’ve worked with (and it’s one that I often receive) is, “You really listened to what we told you, and somehow managed to create a narrative from all the disparate information we gave you that really reflected exactly who he/she was.” That’s when I know I’ve done my job.
Tip 4: Don’t make assumptions
This is pretty much tied up with tip 3, but it’s important to say it again: do not make assumptions. Don’t assume that because someone died by suicide, the family is ashamed of that and doesn’t want it mentioned: ask the question. Don’t assume that just because the boyfriend isn’t present during your meeting, he doesn’t want to speak at the ceremony: ask the question. Don’t assume that the funeral director has all the same information you do about refreshments or about how the family wants to leave the ceremony space or about anything else: communicate any information you gather that has anything to do with the funeral director to the funeral director.
I could go on and on, but just don’t make assumptions about anything.
Tip 5: Work closely with the funeral director
We’re taught in funeral training that the funeral director and funeral celebrant have very separate and different jobs. While this is true to a certain extent, the best results for a funeral are gained by the two parties working closely together.
It is far easier for me when I walk into a family meeting having been fully briefed by the funeral director (who has already met them) about who the major players are, what they’re feeling, how they got along with each other, and any tensions that might be in the air. I might have a different experience with a family from the one the FD had, but in general if I walk in pre-warned that there’s likely to be some friction, things just go more smoothly for me.
Likewise, it is far easier for the FD to continue to work with the family when I’ve passed on any information I’ve gathered during the meeting that pertains to logistics or other FD-related stuff, as well as any family dynamics or tensions I’ve picked up on. I always do this by email, because I was once told by an FD that he found it so much easier the way I put everything in writing, rather than him having to try to remember what I’d told him in a phone call while he was juggling 50,000 other things.
Just communicate. It’s actually pretty simple.
Tip 6: Be nosy
One of our jobs as funeral celebrants is to gather as much information as the deceased as possible so we can put together a personal and meaningful ceremony that reflects their life. This means we might have to be super nosy. I always tell my families that I’m going to ask them a lot of questions, and that some of them are for context rather than to be used in the ceremony. Some of those questions might feel uncomfortable, and they don’t have to answer them if they don’t want to, but hopefully by the time I get to the more difficult questions, I’ve built some rapport with them and they’re comfortable answering.
Remember you’re not likely to have to see these people again after the funeral, so if they thought you were too nosy, it doesn’t really matter! Ask the probing questions you need to in order to put together the most appropriate and respectful service.
Tip 7: Be humble
I would hope you’re doing this with your marriage clients to, but one of the most important things is to not feel precious about your script. I always tell families during our meeting that when they receive the script they should feel free to tell me they don’t like that word, take out that sentence, and rewrite that section. I tell them I will not be offended; it’s important to me that they are completely comfortable with everything that is going to be said at this ceremony for their loved one.
Now I’ll admit that when you get a script back that’s been heavily edited, it stings. It stings a lot. But as far as I’m concerned, that’s their prerogative. The last thing I would want is for a family to resent me or to hate the ceremony because there was a word or two in there that they didn’t like. Be humble, accept that their way of grieving may include needing to control every aspect of what’s going on, and make whatever changes they want you to make.
That’s all I’ve got right now. I’ll come back and add some more thoughts as they come to me. I’d love any other funeral celebrants to chime in with their own tips in the comments.
### Talking ‘Inside Baseball’
If you have inside goss on the inner workings of Apple Incorporated, you and I would get along great talking ‘inside baseball’ on Apple, because I love talking about Apple.
"Inside baseball" is one of my favourite Americanisms, it's a figurative adjective meaning the details are appreciated by only a small group of insiders or aficionados. It usually refers to a detail-oriented approach to the minutiae of a subject, which requires such a specific knowledge about what is being discussed that the nuances are not understood or appreciated by outsiders.
Inside baseball is a great subject matter for wedding industry podcasts and catchups, but it's terrible social media content if only because no-one knows what you're talking about.
Wedding industry Inside Baseball
There’s terminology, language, and detail that is insider talk, inside baseball if you will, that shouldn’t really make it onto Facebook, Instagram Stories, or our websites. Here’s a few I have thought of, and you can add yours in the comments:
Wedding season: because although you might see 10-100 couples on your calendar, they see one single date, their wedding date, and all your other couples don’t matter, so don’t talk about wedding seasons, how the season is starting, or finishing, or whatever.
Brides: for years we've referred to the people who hire us as brides, but they're not that anymore, they are men, women, others, couples, partners, grooms, oh, and brides.
Bookings now open: No couple is sitting there waiting for your bookings to open. Posting on social media that your 2025 booking season is now open is a waste of their time, and yours.
I’m at an industry event: Peaking behind the curtain of your life and sharing personal moments, family moments, business and industry moments, can have value in showcasing your personality and authenticity. But find a line and stay on the right side of it when you’re at a wedding fair, or industry social night. How much of the sausage factory do your couples need to see to know that you’re a competent celebrant?
Gear talk: My friend Morgan brought this up to me in relation to photographers talking about which lens or gadget they are using, but it can apply to celebrants as well. Your gear, from microphone and PA, to red book or iPad etc, is part of your story and your product, but if that’s all you have to talk about ask some couples what they really love about you and I bet it’s not what brand e-reader you use to read your ceremony from.
New websites, logos, or branding: The amount of money you’ve just spent on a new website and branding package probably makes you feel it should control the narrative of your social media stories for the next 2-3 years, but the truth is that everyone already expected you to have great branding and website - highlighting that you have one now is like telling a Police Officer that you’re no longer drink driving like you were last night.
What do I talk about then?
Talk about you, what makes you you, and how you being you makes your couples lives - and weddings - better.
That story is one we’re all dying for you to tell!
### Posting pro photos on social media etiquette
Mark asks,
I was hoping you could explain the etiquette for posting photos on your Website, Facebook and Instagram account when supplied by a professional photographer please.
Great question Mark, if only because the photos we all take on our phones are no-where near as nice (usually) as the ones the pro is taking on the day.
Posting professional photos, over phone photos, on your social media is another way to set yourself apart and create a professional brand.
There are three angles to think about here:
Sharing a photo already shared on social media
Requesting photos to share on social media
Sharing photos of people on social media
How to post a photo correctly without causing offence and without breaking the law
1. Sharing a photo already shared on social media
If the professional photographer has already shared a photo on their business’ social media profiles, it is totally acceptable to share that post using the built-in means to share a post.
Facebook: On Facebook this means clicking the share button beneath the photographer's post from their public Facebook Page, named like 'Josh Withers Wedding Photography' but not from their personal profile page which might be named 'Joshua Withers', if I was a wedding photographer. Tapping the share button means you are sharing their original post with credit given to them already. You can then add an additional caption and you're welcome to credit them again.
Just make sure that as you share, you share the post to your public business page, not your personal profile.
Instagram: On Instagram this means sharing a photographers posted photo to your story - this does not mean making a screenshot of an image.
To share a post to your story, tap the folded airplane icon beneath a post, choose 'Add to story' and then add a remark or caption in your story.
2. Requesting photos to share on social media
Before you learn how to do it, its important to know that
no-one owes you an image, even if you are in the image or your worked the same wedding, no photographer owes you an image
if someone gives you permission to share an image they made, and thus they own, you do not have the right to change that image, to apply a filter, or to crop, or add words or logos on top, without their explicit permission
if someone asks for you to pay for that image, they are within their rights to do that
taking a screenshot of an image creates a low quality blurry version of an originally great photo - screenshotting is of the devil
The easiest way to ask a photographer to use one or more of their images is to simply ask them. The devil is in the details.
most photographers will have the images ready to be viewed and shared about three to ten weeks after the wedding, depending on their contracts and processes.
everyone has their favourite way of being contacted, and their least favourite way, for example, if you want me to do something for you do not call me, do not direct message me, email me, but each photographer will have a favourite form of communication
So about four to six weeks after the wedding, contact the photographer and ask for permission to share some images from that wedding you worked on together. Reference the date and couple name so they know who you are talking about, and offer to download them from the online gallery or dropbox link the photographer has no doubt supplied to the couple.
If you direct message them, ask if they'd rather you email them so they don't forget.
When they give you the photos, or access to the gallery, figure out how to save an image in its original quality - do not ever screenshot an image.
3. Sharing photos of people on social media
I ask each of my couples if they are ok with me sharing about their wedding online. Don't be weird about it, and explain in great detail how you'll do it, just a simple request and consent is all that is required.
If their are photos of infants, children, teenagers, I would check specifically if they are ok to share, or I probably wouldn't share them, and if there are photos that are unflattering, use your better judgement.
4. How to post a photo correctly without causing offence and without breaking the law
If you have sought consent to share from the owner of the photo (the photographer) and the people in the photos, then share away - in high resolution - the photos as the photographer sent them without your edits, crops, filters, or logos, in this fashion:
Simply post with your caption and somewhere appropriate mention that the photo is "by XYZ Photography". If it's on Facebook or Instagram, @mention them so they get a link to their business page. If it's on your website or blog, a name is sufficient and a link to their website is a blessing.
Always remember
Do not crop, stretch, or change the aspect ratio of the image
Do not add filters, change colours, brightness, or contrast of the image
Do not add words on top of the image, or add a logo or branding
Do not screenshot an image, tap and hold to save the original
If you don't know how to do any of these things, ask and learn :)
### What should I do at a wedding expo?
Fresh celebrant asks,
Hi, I am a new country celebrant with three weddings booked late this year, early next year but none performed so far. I am attending a wedding expo soon ( in the country) and am not sure what to do. I have collaborated with a supplier to use an arbor, have my logo enlarged to easel size and have business cards. But wondering what else I need. I dont have photos of me officiating yet obviously. What information type material should I have with me, what questions do you usually get asked, do I just stand there and smile, "have chockies to reel them in"? Please help!!
I'll answer this question as if it were for any kind of outbound marketing, because it all applies.
Who is it for?
Who will see it?
How do you want them to respond?
Who is it for?
I see a lot of wedding fair stands that are "for" the celebrant, so they feel important and valued. They have NOIMs everywhere, their red book, lots of pamphlets and pieces of paper that they think couples want to read.
But I'm assuming that if you're paying for a wedding expo then you're hoping that people attending the expo will hire you to be their celebrant.
So what kind of stand will communicate that you are a celebrant and that you are a certain kind of celebrant. You see, when people are buying anything, especially booking their wedding, they are telling themselves a story: "people like us do things like this."
As they see your stand will your stand, and you as a celebrant, fit into their story that people like them book celebrants like you?
Who will see it?
You don't want everyone at the expo to hire you, that would break your back and you'd regret ever turning up. You only want some of them, and luckily for you, only some of them will stop and even fewer of them will book you. This is such a good thing. You're not the right celebrant for everyone and not everyone is the right couple for you.
So design your stand so it showcases who you are and what makes you, you.
Design it so it's in style for the kind of couples you want to book. If you want to book newlywed couples, maybe seek inspiration from people and brands that are of a similar age if you aren't.
Design the stand so it's a filter, it lets the right people in and rejects the wrong people.
How do you want them to respond?
This is the most important one.
How do you want people to respond to your stand?
Do you want to call them? You'll need their number. But ask yourself, do people even want to receive phone calls anymore though? I know that if you cal my number I'm unlikely to answer and I'd rather you email me.
So do you want to email people? Organise a facility to collect their email addresses - I recommend the Mailchimp iPad app. If you want to get super fancy, create a Mailchimp list for that event, and create an auto-sent email that details new people on that list with info on your packages etc. So the iPad app adds them to the list and it emails them as well.
Do you want them to know your price then and there, maybe have a facility to communicate it to them.
Regardless of how you would like them to respond, control the experience, so that all of the attendees have an opportunity to begin your customer journey just like online and social media potential clients.
Disclaimer
Your website and social media already act as a great filter so the people that don't like you never contact you. At a wedding expo, you'll meet these people. Sorry :)
### Acknowledging sonder
Have you heard of sonder?
The profound feeling of realising that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.
We live in a world where everyone has a noise in their head, where everyone has problems as numbered and nuanced as yours, where everyone is scared, worried, and by their own definition, broke.
Sonder is the acknowledgment of that reality.
How are you using sonder in your business? In your marketing? In your emails and meetings?
How are you being self-aware and client-aware in your celebrancy?
### The emotional bit, with Vickie Musni
A special guest, Vickie Musni personality trainer, on the podcast this week to talk about the upcoming Celebrant Institute conference where she's talking plus hosting a workshop on how personalities work themselves into your business.
### Can we marry people on the water or in the air in Australia?
Elle asks:
I have a wedding where I am marrying the couple on a boat, we are all going to get on and cruise for 10mins until the couple get a feeling like yep lets pull up here and then I will do their ceremony, then the boat will carry on for couple of hours whilst everyone has drinks, food and watches the sunset. So in regard to Location of marriage on paperwork, NOIM and Marriage Docs as I won’t know the coordinates until we literally pull up, do I just write the coordinates in quickly before I call everyone in to kick ceremony off or can I fill when we go to sign docs? And am I just writing the coordinates, or do I need to put the boats name also?
So there's three things to consider when marrying people away from the general landlocked wedding venue you might be used to.
Where can Australian marriage celebrants marry people?
Australian authorised marriage celebrants have the authority to marry any two people that can marry according to the law, anywhere in Australian territory. It's that definition of Australia that is the important thing to note.
Australian territory is defined as the Commonwealth of Australia (the eight states and territories like the ACT and NT), and the Australian external territories including Christmas Island, Norfolk Island, Cocos (Keeling) Islands and others. Excluded from this list is the Australian Antarctic Territory
Not only can we marry people on the land in those places, but also the ocean and the sky above.
The ocean
Our authority to marry extends to the boundary of the Australian territorial seas, that's 12 nautical miles, or 22.2 kilometres, from the low water line from Australian land. In somewhere like the Whitsundays where there are many islands, roughly imagine drawing a circle with a protractor off the coast that is 12 nautical miles off the shore of each island. This map gives you an idea of those boundaries. The captain of the boat, given the direction to stay within Australian territorial seas, should be able to comply, and "10 minutes" in a boat should be fine.
For those wanting to scuba dive, that Australian territory goes all the way beneath the water’s surface, past the ocean floor.
Although Antarctica is covered in this map, the Australian Antarctic Territory and its surrounding waters are excluded.
The air
Australian airspace extends to 60,000 feet above ground level, that's a smidge over 18km. I'm writing this article around 10km in the air in a Qantas 737, most commercial jets top out around 10-13km, so unless you're in a spaceship then the height should be ok.
Remember though that horizontally, as the bird flies, that Australian airspace is the same area as the land territory and sea territory.
So if you're flying (or cruising) from Melbourne to Launceston, or to Perth, over the course of that journey you'll leave Australian territory for a time because the flight takes you over the Great Australian Bight which is legally only Great and Australian for 22km off the shore.
Exclusions
The definition of Australia is a funny thing when you start talking territories etc. So I’ll quote the guidelines here:
The Marriage Act applies to Australian external territories – Christmas Island, Norfolk Island and the Cocos (Keeling) Islands (section 8 of the Marriage Act). The Marriage Act does not apply to the Australian territory in the Antarctica.
The Guidelines and the Act does not mention foreign embassies, but if you contact Australian embassies they will tell you “it is not possible to get married at an Australian Embassy or Consulate.”
Captains
Captains of ships and airplanes do not have the authority to marry people according to the law in Australia. Unless they are also authorised and appointed marriage celebrants by the Commonwealth of Australia. So the old stories of getting married by a captain of a ship are just fun, not legal.
What you need to consider in that unique ceremony
Safety, permission, vibe. Take charge of making that moment amazing, but safe. If you're on a boat consider stopping, if you're in a plane, whatever you do, do not stop.
How to record the location of marriage
There is no direct advice on recording the location of a marriage ceremony in the sea or in the air from the AGD office or the Guidelines. They do offer the advice to avoid air and sea weddings because of the unsurety of the ‘place’. The marriage certificate, and the Registry of Births, Deaths, and Marriages require a date and place from you however.
If the airplane or boat is docked or at terminal, the terminal name is appropriate, e.g. Brisbane Cruise Terminal, Hamilton, Qld, or Gold Coast Airport, Bilinga, Qld.
If the boat is at sea, record the name of the boat with the name of the water you're in, like the bay, river, sea, or ocean, e.g. M.V. Rutherford, Sydney Harbour, NSW. Ask the captain to record the longitude and latitude at the time the vows were exchanged (the legal timestamp of marriage) and then after the ceremony look them up on Google Earth to get the name.
If you're unsure of the name of the body of water, recording the longitude and latitude with the name of the vessel, may suffice, e.g Qantas Flight 1574 VH-YQX, -30.8760231, 152.6671871, NSW.
However I would double check with the intended state’s BDM to find out exactly what they would like recorded in this instance.
Recording the place after the ceremony
It is acceptable to record the place/location of the marriage ceremony after the ceremony has taken place. I like to visualise the monitum as the legally necessary introduction to the vows, the vows being the legal lynchpin, the on/off switch, of the ceremony, and the marriage certificate a record of the what happened at the ceremony. So although most of us would prepare a marriage certificate ahead of the ceremony, it’s merely a record of the ceremony, so leaving the place blank until after is perfectly ok.
### Money, money, money
In this episode we discuss being a full-time celebrant, off the back of the results of the annual CoCA celebrant survey and a subsequent article on the ABC FNQ website.
### Getting the deposit paid
Veronica asks
How to you get clients to pay the booking fee, without sounding desperate or annoying?
I've always been a fan of understanding relationships. That's why I have a service contract with each of my couples. Here's the list of things I'll do, here's the list of things you'll do, and if we ever don't meet those expectations, here's what we agree to do about it.
This intricate relationship building happens well before the service contract as well. Even as the couple are shopping around for their wedding vendors I'm creating a journey that they may well wish to undertake. The initial steps of that journey are mapped out by me, but initiated by them. I call this the customer journey. Other people call it a customer experience and there's other valid descriptions, but looking at it like a celebrant, the journey idea fits best in my humble opinion.
The customer journey
So I know it feels like we're taking the long way to get here, but people don't use hand over money for any old reason.
When you're on a journey, you know where you've been, where you are, and where you're going.
Your clients, your couples, should always know where they are on their journey with you.
The customer journey you craft for your couples should be one that highlights your strengths, your product, your value, and how they can have an awesome wedding.
It might start with a website or social media visit, but where to from there? If there's a "contact for availability" call to action, they may well do that - that's not how I crafted my customer journey, but this is yours to create.
What is the deposit or booking fee for?
My customer journey involves the couple requesting an info pack, viewing the info pack, then enquiring. I let them know I'm available, and in that same breath I let them know what the next steps look like. A good tour guide would. The next steps, for me, are that if they feel comfortable locking me in now I need them to fill out this online form and then pay the deposit. If they'd like to meet first we organise that meeting and I communicate the same thing.
"When you're ready to lock me in, fill out this online form and pay the deposit." Their deposit, or booking fee if you like, is for locking me in - and if they'd like to do that, then they pay it.
Some couples choose to lock me in, and they follow that process. Some don't and we don't talk again.
I'm of the belief that they're big enough kids to figure out how to lock me in if I've told them how to do it in email and when talking.
i'm not desperate for their work, in fact I hope they don't book me if they are hesitant in any way. The last thing I need to do is to have a couple book me because there was no-one else available, or because "he'll do" like there's not 8000 odd other celebrants for them to choose from.
So how do I get them to pay the deposit?
I let them know that the form (digital booking form and contract) and the deposit is the key turn in the ignition on starting the car that is me being their celebrant.
Why a journey is important
Our clients don't know what we don't tell them. It's highly likely they've never been married before, and they've never booked a wedding, and they've never booked a celebrant.
They don't know how celebrants work, in fact many of them think they need to apply for a marriage license.
So us creating a journey, and mapping that out in clear and concise terms so everyone on the journey knows where we're at is an important responsibility.
How a journey creates expectations
Everyone has a different set of terms and conditions on how they'll let couples do business with them. I know when Sarah read this question she talked about how a couple had 14 days to pay their deposit, but in my business they don't get a spot in my calendar without a deposit. Neither method is better, but each one has clearly communicated expectations, and each one has a valid journey attached to it.
When humans know what to do, and how to do it, and where they should do it, and when, and if they actually want to do the thing, you'll find most will submit to the journey you lay out for them.
So now when I hear a story of a deposit not being paid, I just assume that there was a lack of customer journey, not a lack of funds or willingness to book you.
### How to make a great ceremony without a rehearsal
Tori asks:
I would really love to hear from you both (knowing that you prefer rehearsals Sarah, and you don't tend to do them Josh), what is your approach to ensuring a ceremony runs as smoothly as possible and flows well when couples elect not to have a rehersal? As a new celebrant with just two ceremonies under my belt, I noticed a real difference between the first ceremony which had a rehearsal (with all the bridesmaids and groomsmen), and the second when the couple were quite adamant they preferred to go with the flow on the day. How do you go about still ensuring everyone involved feels comfortable and knows where to stand/where to move to during the ceremony when there is no rehearsal? I had a 'talk through' with my rehearsal-free couple and explained a few points to brief their bridesmaids/groomsmen with, but I don't think this occurred as on the day I could some of the bridesmaids in particular were visibly confused/looked a little uncomfortable not knowing what they were doing. Any tips would be appreciated! Thanks :) Tori
It's somewhat of a well known fact that I, Josh, don't love rehearsals. I find that rehearsals add stress where it's not needed, and I certainly don't need to rehearse what I'm doing. However there's been a number of occasions where I've run a rehearsal because the event itself was so complex.
So how do I get away without having a rehearsal but still present stellar ceremonies?
I create ceremonies that don't need to be rehearsed.
When there's elements involving other people I'll chat to the people about how I'll introduce them and let them know it's not like a Catholic mass where it'll be awkward and weird, but it's more like a family event, everyone there is for you so you can't "stuff this up".
I'll go out and meet the bridal party, if there is one, and let them know to take all the time in the world, they don't have to worry about timing or where to walk (just down the middle of the aisle) and I'll tell them to hold their bouquets low and hold it with both hands.
As they walk in I'll say hi and gently tell them to reposition if needed. But let's remember that positioning so doesn't matter. It's a human and family event, not a military parade.
With the couple I'll take responsibility for their positioning, telling them ahead of the day to just face each other and hold hands, and if they're not centred, and being centred matters in this venue, then I'll gently ask them to take a step this way or that. I'll only ask 1-2 times because who needs the stress of standing in the right place when you've already got 100 eyes on you.
I'll chat to the photographer and let them know that I'll be out of the way for the kiss and that if the couple takes the microphone out of my hands for their vows, that I'll step out of the way as well.
I emphasise to bridesmaids and groomsmen that all they have to do is cheer on the couple. They don't need to perform or be perfect. If you're walking in, walk in like you own the room, and then stand next to the bride and groom as their number one cheerleaders.
I tell people walking people in, like dads with brides, to just naturally walk them in with pride and to hand them over at the end of the aisle. I'm not going to ask "who gives this bride away" because of the date on the calendar plus it's awkward.
If people are bringing a reading I'll let them know roughly when I'll invite them up (start/end/before vows/after vows) and that's just based on what the contents of the reading is.
Generally speaking, I take 100% responsibility for the vibe and the feel of the ceremony and I simply do not, in any way possible, want to preside over a perfect and impressive ceremony. I want to lead real, human, and authentic ceremonies that accurately celebrate the people getting married. I couldn't care less if there was a bridal party or not - I actively encourage people to not have bridal parties. I just want everyone to be there in the moment, experiencing the ceremony, their vows, my words, their guests, fresh and for the first time at 3pm on Saturday.
### Firing a couple
A celebrant friend has been going back and forth with a couple who want a celebrant that's not her. Maybe they've been on the blogs and Pinterest and they've decided that this is how you deal with a celebrant, or maybe their friends and family have told them how to act this way, regardless, they are taking themselves on a different customer journey to the one my friend would normally take her couples on.
Today she asks, "should I fire them?"
Firing someone is not just for you, it's for them
I read a book about volunteering years ago and there's a whole chapter on firing volunteers and it went in a completely different direction than I imagined. At the time I ran a team of volunteers and like most people in that situation I had a few volunteers who didn't really help, they hindered. We kept them on out of pity for them even though they made my life harder.
The author of the book suggested something else was going on.
While I was hosting a pity party for these terrible volunteers I was literally holding them back from being useful somewhere they could, should, and would be useful. I was actually negatively impacting on their life by keeping them on out of pity.
It's a similar situation with your couple who you're just not jelling with.
The celebrant friend and I have talked a few times about them and how she works one way, and they want her to work another. Ultimately the couple are going to be unhappy with the celebrant's performance. Even if she bent to their will and preformed how they wanted her to, she'd be outside of her peak performance zone, doing something she's not good at, and creating a high risk of failure for herself.
There's such a high risk that the couple are not going to enjoy their ceremony - the opening act for their marriage celebrations - and another celebrant could have actually done a better job. There's a universe that exists where this couple have a perfect wedding, and if you're my friend (or in a situation like hers) then you're actually holding them back from having a great wedding. Plus you're quite possibly going to have a bad day at work.
What about the money?
Most of us would have a service contract, or the goodwill, to refund the deposit or money paid if we're cancelling on them. It's the right thing to do, and it might hurt your back pocket, at least you can sleep well at night knowing that you're not going to ruin their wedding.
How to tell them?
I've done this twice in my career, and I said something like this:
Dear Rick and Mary, I've been reflecting on our last conversation about your ceremony and I have some concerns about how I might fulfil your requests. Your requests are valid, but that's not how I create the ceremonies my couples love me for. My methods, although different to some you might find online, allow me to create the moments you read about in my reviews and testimonies. Ultimately I would rather you have an awesome wedding without me, than a wedding ceremony you might not love with me, and if you are of the same opinion I would like to offer you a full refund and the opportunity to find a celebrant who can cater for you needs. However, if you believe that I am the right celebrant for you, and you would be open to creating your ceremony in a way that suits my methods, then I apologise for our misunderstanding and it would be an honour to continue being your celebrant.
### God bless the Facebook Groups
Hello again everyone! Today Josh and Sarah are actually recording this from the same room! Amazing and awesome. We had a bunch of topics we planned to talk about, but instead it appears we ended up talking about the importance and difficulty of language for almost an hour. Hopefully you'll find something interesting in there!
### Change of name by marriage and the NOIM
Some of you may recall this little rant I went on after the updated Guidelines were released last year:
"Change of name by marriage: A party who has changed their name by marriage, and retained their previous spouse's surname, must record that surname on the NOIM."
The 2014 Guidelines said they may record that surname on the NOIM. I am NOT okay with this change. When a person changes their surname by marriage, they do not go through a legal change of name process and relinquish their previous name. Instead, they tell everyone who has their name on file that they want to be called by a different name (their married name) and show their marriage certificate as proof they are entitled to use that new name. They still maintain their birth certificate and still have access to their previous name. Indeed, many people who change their name through marriage only do so for personal purposes, maintaining their birth name for professional purposes.
I cannot find any legislative reason why a person who has changed their name by marriage, and continued to use their previously married surname, cannot use their birth name on their marriage documents, AS LONG AS they can provide a chain of documentary evidence showing the change from their birth name to their married name (i.e. birth certificate in Smith, marriage certificate showing Ms Smith married Mr Jones, divorce certificate in Mrs Jones, and photo identification in Mrs Jones, to show the person in the photo ID is the same person named on the birth certificate, just using a different name).
I did question this change during the consultation process, but I clearly confused someone when I talked about "a person changing their name by usage through marriage", because the response was that changing a name by usage was different from changing a name by marriage and therefore wasn't relevant to this issue. I have emailed the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section to follow up again and will update you if/when I get a response.
I finally got a response! I emailed MLCS about this change of name by marriage issue on 1 August 2018, and after multiple follow-up emails from me I actually got a response on 8 March:
We agree that the guidance is contradictory guidance. Thank you for bring this to our attention.
We agree that a party to a marriage, who has been previously married and changed their name through that marriage, may choose to use that married name when completing the NOIM.
We will amend Part 4.19 of the guidelines to reflect this.
So yay me, I won another one! It's definitely worth chasing these things up!
### Taking over a wedding from another celebrant: logistics and money
Alison asks:
A local celebuddy and I have recently been chatting about being a primary back-up celebrant for each other. As a fairly new celebrant, it got me wondering how other people manage replacements when you have to cancel at short notice (or even on the day). Do you ask the new celebrant to use your script (even if it's very much in 'your' voice)? How do you divide payment? Do you partially/fully refund the couple because you've not completely fulfilled the contract? What if you're in a car accident on the way to the ceremony and you have all the paperwork on you?
This is a really tricky set of questions to answer; every single celebrant I speak to has different views on what's appropriate in these circumstances. All I can tell you is what I personally think is appropriate, as well as the legal stuff :)
Script
If you have to cancel on the day, or even in the week or two before, as far as I'm concerned the replacement celebrant has little choice but to use your script, particularly if it's been approved by the couple. However I don't believe that means the replacement can't make small changes to tone and vocab to make it more in their voice - changing "stoked" to "thrilled" or similar if that's a word they'd be more likely to use. If it were me, I'd also be checking grammar and spelling because I'm a control freak about those things, and I do very much speak in proper grammar, so it would sound weird if I was to read something with incorrect grammar.
Payment
Payment is another reason I would tend to encourage the replacement celebrant to use the script that's already been drafted; the first celebrant has already done that work and should be compensated for their time, and if you're dividing up the money there's not going to be enough to pay both celebrants for ceremony writing time.
I know some celebrants think the first celebrant should simply refund the couple and let the couple and the replacement sort out the money, but that can be tricky if it's super close to the wedding, and it's one more inconvenience for the couple on top of them not getting their preferred celebrant.
Personally I think a 50/50 split is fair. The first celebrant has done the marketing and won the work, has presumably met with the couple to complete a NOIM and gather information for the ceremony, and has most likely written the ceremony. The replacement celebrant has to recheck all the legal paperwork and print new paperwork with their name on it, check the ceremony script to ensure it's legally compliant and make small tweaks, and attend the ceremony (and potentially the rehearsal). The replacement celebrant also has the legal responsibility for ensuring the wedding is valid. To me, each celebrant has done about half the work, but that's really a discussion for the celebrants involved to have.
Refunding the couple
My preference is that if the first celebrant has been paid the full fee, that they transfer some of those funds to the replacement celebrant rather than refunding the couple and expecting them to pay the new celebrant. However this also depends a bit on the reasons for cancelling and what your terms and conditions say. If you're cancelling because you've got a better offer, I believe you should be refunding the entire amount. If you're cancelling because you're sick or in an accident, the money you would have refunded for not completing the contract goes to the replacement celebrant for them to complete the contract.
Cancelling on the day
This is legally problematic and depends on your interpretation of the Marriage Act and the Electronic Transactions Act. If the first celebrant was able to take a photo of the NOIM and send it to the replacement celebrant (getting the original to them after the wedding), that would seem to satisfy the requirements of both Acts. Of course then the replacement celebrant would need time to produce a new DONLIM and Marriage Certificates, they would need to sight the parties' identity documents, and it may be difficult for them to get hold of the script. (I know one celebrant who has a Gmail account that she sends a copy of every script to, so if she was in an accident her husband knows he can go to that account and forward on the appropriate script to the replacement).
It may be easier for everyone for the replacement in this instance to do a commitment ceremony and for them to worry about the legal stuff at another time, but it's really dependent on circumstances.
I know a lot of my answers here are a bit vague; these issues really are dependent on the individual circumstances and it's hard to make a concrete plan that would cover all bases!
### Dealing with nerves and stage fright
Cass asks:
My question is more of a concern. I already have full time work in the theatre so celebrancy for me was more of a service I wanted to provide for friends and family. I think celebrating love is one of the most beautiful and important things we can do as a society and for me it has always been about the intimacy of the couple. I used to be quite a confident public speaker when I was in high school but now I’m almost 30 I feel absolute terror at the thought of performing such an important task in front of potentially hundreds of people. I know the day is obviously about the couple and not me but I don’t want my nerves to interfere with their special moment. Do you have advice (apart from practice) to combat serious stage fright?
I suspect Josh would write something a response to this question that would be far more poetic than the response I'm about to give, and would refer to something about forgetting about the guests, this isn't a performance, you're just having a conversation with two people about creating their marriage. But I'm not poetic and I can't forget the guests, and I totally understand the fear of public speaking because I used to have it as well.
A little history from me. When I was at high school I was one of the drama kids. I was also a dancer and a music student. In short, I was a performer, and I was on the stage in one way or another every chance I got. I never suffered from stage fright; nerves were always with me, but I strongly believe nerves are good for you. I was pretty much completely confident to get up there and do whatever needed doing in whatever medium I was working at the time. Looking back, I can now see that the main thing was that I was always comfortable with the work; I always knew my lines, I always knew the choreography, I always knew the music. I'd practised and I was confident and comfortable that I would "get it right".
Then I got older. And way more self-conscious about the way other people perceived me, whether I was going to embarrass myself, and whether I would "get it right". After uni I spent years working in administrative, behind the scenes roles; I ran a lot of events, and was always happy running around in my blacks, but as soon as someone suggested that maybe I might want to present at one of the conferences or workshops I was running, I froze. Again looking back, I've now realised it was because I was never completely confident with the content I was working around; I worked mostly in medical research and often felt out of my depth when it came to understanding the content and answering questions about it. (I also had a boss who took great pleasure in destroying my self-confidence, but that's a story for another day.)
And then I decided I was going to be a celebrant. For someone not particularly comfortable standing in front of people and presenting, nuts, right? But here was the difference: I knew that I would be telling stories I had written myself, that I would be talking about relationships I had grown to know as if they were my own, and that if all else failed, I would have a script to rely upon.
So now here I am, five and a half years in to being a celebrant, and I'm not only confident presenting in front of groups of people with a script in hand (at weddings and at funerals) but I'm also comfortable talking to groups of people for an entire day with no script when I'm training. I firmly believe this confidence and comfort comes from talking about a topic I am completely comfortable with, one that I know inside out and back to front: celebrancy and how it's done. I'm saying my words, I'm presenting my ideas, and I'm teaching content about which I know all of the things. For me, losing the stage fright has been all about being comfortable with the content. I still get nervous about a particularly difficult funeral or when I'm teaching a new topic for the first time, but I'm no longer paralysed with fear the way I used to be.
So now to the practical suggestions I came up with for Cass. The only suggestions I have for combatting stage fright are:
practise, practise, practise, in the backyard, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the car, and not just ceremonies but at something like Toastmasters, which is a community organisation for public speaking education. Go along to a few of their sessions, where it doesn't matter if you stuff up, and see if that helps (this one is all about being comfortable with your content)
meditation and mindfulness; see if you can find someone to teach you some relaxation techniques for using at ceremonies before you're about to speak
if all else fails, low dose beta blockers; your GP can prescribe them. Many professional musicians and speakers use them before performing, and my friends who have used them rave about them!
I hope this is helpful for some of you. Feel free to share your tips and tricks for stage fright in the comments!
### Witnessing the NOIM: how much information is required?
Lauren asks:
I got this question from my bride and I'm second guessing myself! 'Went up to the police station on Sunday and got this signed, but I just wanted to check before I send you the original...in the qualification section, is it fine that it just says police officer? I only realised when looking at it later that there is no section for the witness’ name or identification number or anything, so hoping this is ok!'
In short, absolutely fine! Lauren's bride is absolutely correct; there's nowhere on the current NOIM for a witness to a party's signature to write their name or identification number. All it asks for is their qualification, and I simply want to see a qualification that matches one that's in the list of authorised witnesses below the signature boxes.
I often get asked this question in relation to stamps as well, particularly with JPs and police officers; is it okay if the witness doesn't stamp the NOIM? Again, absolutely fine. I can find no mention in the Marriage Act or the Marriage Regulations or the Guidelines of requiring a stamp to prove their authority to witness the signatures on the NOIM. All that's required is that they sign it, date it, and write their occupation in the box :)
### You gotta know when to fold 'em
Get the low down on Sarah’s’ new Cert 4 in training with the Kick Start Session explained. Followed by the Marriage Celebrant Matters Autumn Newsletter Debrief. Josh gets a high five from all celebrants with the Electronic Transaction Act Commonwealth Legislation – Sighting ID over Skype. And lastly a big D&M session on the VIC BDM RIO System and how to get it working properly for you. Sarah is here to save us all!
2.30 Where we are both at this time as it is our first blog since December – Personal Info.
6.42 Sarah’s Cert 4 Training
8.29 Kick Start Session Explained – 5 Days face to face training with mx 20 people per class. Basically F2F is training then you have 12 months to complete the at home assessments. These include: Meeting, Paperwork, create ceremony and perform 5 weddings. 3 non marriage ceremonies: naming Day, Vow renewal & 80th birthday. 2 Memorials and 2 funerals. That’s 12 ceremonies in total and 10 performed.
11.27 500 to 600 hours to complete cert 4.
14.50 Explaining how everyone works differently and time varies for completion.
16.20 Discussions on choosing the right training courses to better equip you as a celebrant – not just price.
18.59 Discussions on how if you have bad training you might be prepared adequately for the celebrant world.
20.06 Marriage Celebrant Matters Autumn Newsletter – Debrief.
20.36 Sarah explains the different between the Commonwealth Attorney General Department and Births, Deaths and Marriages in each State and their roles.
23.22 Josh informed the appropriate people about the Electronic Transactions Act Commonwealth Legislation in regards to sighting ID over skype not physically.
26.10 The newsletter noted that a Factsheet was currently being created for celebrants in an electronic environment.
29.00 Discussions held on electronic signatures in the possible future – Pros & Cons.
31.00 Discussions on frauds in regard to adaptation of documents and our obligations as celebrants.
32.37 Finish Celebrant Matters Topics with the colour changes on the document.
34.16 VIC BDM RIO - Live 19th Feb.
39.00 RIO - Occupation Lists Discussions.
43.10 Discussions on QLD Systems in comparison and Josh’s input into the system.
47.00 The Frustrated State. Josh recommends book to read.
49.02 Going Full Time as a Celebrant: Member asked the question Josh & Sarah responded with their own personal stories. Josh – Brief explanation – No perfect way to do this just go out on fire. Story – May 2009 started no intention of going full time. 2012 Attended a wedding expo – Great Success – Pitch "If you book me this week I will MC your reception for free!" Focus on getting hours up. Started taking time off from work to do weddings increased. Decided to go full time as a Celebrant. Foundations – Tell your story authentically. Play the long game.
01.03.10 Sarah’s Story – Total Opposite walked in to do it full time. Inspired by another celebrant she saw. She it up the way she way she wanted it to end up. Had skill that she can work at all times of hours – Professional transcript typist. Made her available for wedding, funeral any day. First expo – 10 bookings. Priced it cheap to get runs on board. Got to a point where she had more celebrant work available. By default, it happened no time left for transcript work.
01.09.06 Refer back to member question – Budgeting as a Full time celebrant. Important to do your numbers and see what you need to survive and maintain your lifestyle and how many wedding that will take. If you have to cut costs can you diversify, funerals or training. Understand what full time means to you personally don’t be distracted by others term of this.
01.14.42 Josh’s methods of measuring his business. – Invoicing times and account receivable. Sarah Method is more based on number of wedding per year. Starting a business is the easiest part.
01.21.08 Member Question – How should one approach questions with their full time boss about reducing hours or taking time off for weddings without getting fired?
Answers: Depends on our relationship with your boss and how open you have been with them in regards to your plans. You might get to the point when you have to make a choice. Are there jobs in your skill set where you can reduce it to maybe 3 days a week? Every circumstance is different. Discussions on budgeting, money, paying bills personally and decisions they made throughout the process.
01.30.10 Wise note to finish – “You gotta know when to fold em”
### Passports: how old is too old?
Sean asks:
I know expired passports are okay, as long as they haven't been cancelled but is there a time limit on that? This one expired in 2012
There are two ways a party can use a passport when they're getting married: as proof of their date and place of birth, and as proof of their identity. So what are rules around expired and cancelled passports and the age of these documents?
Date and place of birth
A person's date and place of birth will never change, so we can accept an expired passport that is 40, 60, 80 years old for this function. No problems how old it is. However...
Identity
What a person looks like changes dramatically throughout their life (as if I had to tell you that!) So for satisfying us as to their identity, the age of the passport matters very much. The current guidance (as per the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018, p52) is that:
An expired Australian passport that has not been expired for over 10 years can be used to determine the identity of a person [emphasis added].
However, the age of the passport is not the only deciding factor here. Sure, the passport might have been expired for less than 10 years, but it might also have been issued to the party when they were five years old; a child's passport lasts for five years so it expired when they were 10, and they're now 19 so it's been expired for less than 10 years. But does the photo on the passport actually look like the person sitting in front of you? The Guidelines say in this regard:
An expired passport that belonged to a child may not be useful to determine the identity of an adult (even if it has been expired for less than ten years).
So yes, we can accept a passport that has been expired for up to 10 years, as long as the picture on it looks enough like the person sitting in front of us that it satisfies us as to their identity.
Clear as mud, right?
### What do celebrants legally have to say?
Kelly asks:
What do we legally have to say? Just read guidelines and act section 45/46 and I’m reading we only need to say monitum and a couple the legal vow. I read/was trained that we have to introduce ourselves as the celebrant with the lucky job of marrying the shit outta the couple before us...but do we actually have to? I’m looking at making my intro less formal and hoping I’ve read it right.
Kelly’s on to something here.
To save you digging out your copy of the Marriage Act, let me copy and paste what has to happen before a marriage is solemnised (created/began)
the authorised celebrant shall say to the parties … “I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.” or words to that effect.
Now we’re ready for some good old fashioned marriage solemnisation. Keep an eye out for all the times that the law says you have to say “I do”:
Where a marriage is solemnised by or in the presence of an authorised celebrant … it is sufficient if each of the parties says to the other … “I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/spouse” or words to that effect.
And just in case anyone is confused, the Marriage Act then goes on to say:
Where a marriage has been solemnised by or in the presence of an authorised celebrant, a certificate of the marriage prepared and signed in accordance with section 50 is conclusive evidence that the marriage was solemnised in accordance with this section.
Avid readers of the Celebrant Institute already know that ultimately it is up to the celebrant to comply with all of the requirements of the Act despite how they choose to read the Guidelines.
So I’ll give you a loose Wednesday-night Josh-interpration of what the Act says a celebrant should say.
G’Day Cobbers, I am a marriage celebrant which means I am authorised by Australian law to marry people according to the law. As the two of you enter this marriage it’s important that you know the value and nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life. It’s the two of you, together, forever, full stop.
To go back to Kelly’s question I would say that a Commonwealth authorised marriage celebrant has to say the following in a ceremony:
what authority they have
what that means to the people getting married
Or words to that effect ;)
### VIC BDM RIO: everything I know
[et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="3.22"][et_pb_row _builder_version="3.25"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="3.25" custom_padding="|||" custom_padding__hover="|||"][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.27.4"]As anyone who's reading this will be aware, the rollout of the Victorian BDM's new online registration system, Registry Information Online (aka RIO) has been less than smooth. As I write this I'm locked in a text conversation with our very own Josh; he's the techiest person I know and even he's confused. Things that work one day don't seem to work the next; you ring the helpdesk and get a "solution" that is really just them fiddling around until it suddenly works for no good reason, etc etc etc.
I've sent BDM a LOT of emails, had several conversations with the staff, attended meetings where BDM staff have talked about RIO, and read everything I can find in other forums about the problems people are having. I thought I'd collate all the problems I've come across and what's happening to address them (if anything) according to the many conversations I've had. I'll update this post as things change, so you can feel assured that whenever you're reading this, it's currently everything I know.
Please note these questions are not generally about how to use the system; they're about inadequacies or bugs in the system. For tutorial assistance please visit the following:
BDM tutorial website: https://www.bdm.vic.gov.au/service-partners/marriage-celebrants
My BDM RIO video tutorial: https://celebrant.institute/downloads/victorian-bdm-rio-tutorial/
Updated 15 March 2019 with information received from BDM by the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants (of which I'm a member).
BDM says: We are working to continually update our guidance material and, where practicable, make improvements to RIO reflecting user feedback. Please send your specific feedback to bdmimprovements@justice.vic.gov.au and include “MC - System improvements” in the subject line.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="3.22"][et_pb_row _builder_version="3.25"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="3.25" custom_padding="|||" custom_padding__hover="|||"][et_pb_accordion _builder_version="3.21"][et_pb_accordion_item title="It would be really good if the language was consistent throughout the site: in some places we have %22Notice of marriage%22, in others we have %22Marriage notification%22. " _builder_version="3.21" open="on"]I think it would make the most sense if it were called "Marriage notification" throughout; some celebrants are already confused, believing they can't change the information in the database because we are taught that the NOIM must be correct at the time of signing and therefore not to make changes on it. Because the database entry is called Notice of Marriage in some places (and the user guide refers to the NOIM throughout), they are thinking they can't make changes if a party moves house or changes occupation, changes that need to be reflect on the DONLIM and OCM.
BDM agrees with this and they're working to change it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="If the date the Notice was received is less than one month before the date of the ceremony, the warning message says %22date of marriage is less than '30' days from the NOIM received date%22. Please change this to %22less than one month%22. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]So here's the thing. The new system doesn't understand what a month is (which is kind of fair enough, given a lot of celebrants don't understand it). Therefore it is set up to calculate 30 days (which is going to lead to some problems in February).
However, I have asked that the validation error wording be changed to read "one month" rather than "30 days" so that it is more accurate. They're considering my request.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It would be really helpful to have a date picker for every time a date is required, rather than typing in the numbers." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM agrees and they're working on it.
Written response from BDM: By clicking 'on' in the relevant field, the calendar will appear and dates can be picked.
I've just tested this, and none of my date fields have the word 'on' anywhere near them. Anyone else?
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Both the NOIM and the OCM that are generated from the system are leaving out the street address of the wedding venue; it’s pulling the information from Venue or Location, Suburb and State." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]This situation is fine when the venue has a name, but when the marriage is to take place on a private property, there is only a street address. “Address line 1” is the required field, so we have to complete it; in a perfect world Venue or Location would be the required field, and we would only put the address line in there.
The system should really pull the venue name, address line 1, suburb and state. I’ve just printed an OCM that says the marriage took place at Lemnos, Victoria; that’s not sufficient information.
BDM is aware of this matter and they are working to fix it so that the NOIM and OCM will pull the Venue or Location, Address Line 1, Suburb and State. For the time being, if the couple are getting married at a property that does not have a venue name, I’m putting the street address in both Venue or Location and Address Line 1.
Written response from BDM is that this has been rectified, but it's not working for me. Is it working for anyone else?
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Given there's only one option in the dropdown box for Rites Used, it would be great if the system defaulted to the Marriage Act 1961 for that question for civil celebrants. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]This is never going to happen.
Apparently there are some celebrants who are registered both as civil celebrants and as celebrants for religious organisations. They therefore need to have a dropdown list that they can choose from when creating their paperwork for each marriage. There is no way to default to one choice when there are multiple choices allowed in this list.
Written response from BDM: The options that appear generally depend on those assigned at the time of registration. Some celebrants do need multiple options available. Also, missing marriage rites have been rectified; celebrants should now be able to select the correct marriage rites when completing a marriage notification.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Some of the fields are not marked with an * to denote they are required fields, but the form still throws up an error message if they are not completed." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]E.g. Mother's Family Name, if not completed, an error message says "Family name is required", even though there's no * to denote it's a required field. Required fields really need to be marked with an *
BDM is aware of this, and they're working on it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="I presume we're to put any person's first given name in the Given Name field, and their middle name/s in the Other Given Name(s) field." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]This is correct; apparently this should have been obvious, but it wasn't to me!
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Previously I had been told by BDM staff never to leave a surname field blank; if the person didn't have a family name, we should write %22No Registered Surname%22, or they would think it was an error. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Now if I tick "this person does not have a family name" it leaves the surname field blank on the OCM when it is populated. It would be better if it filled in "No Registered Surname".
The response to this is actually super interesting.
First some background. It seems really weird to most people I've spoken to that this tickbox even exists - "who doesn't have a family name?" It turns out there are actually lots of people who don't have family names, particularly people from a certain area in India, and women from several South East Asian countries (Indonesia comes to mind in particular. I've also heard of people who have legally changed their name to only have a given name, for whatever reason. So it's definitely a thing!
While creating this new system, BDM consulted with lots of different types of stakeholders, including people from backgrounds where they may not have a family name. These people told BDM that it was highly offensive to them to be expected to sign a document that said they had "No Registered Surname"; they said that was not their surname, that they don't have a surname, and the field should simply be left blank. So now it is!
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Occupations. There's now a list we have to select from for the parties' occupations, and it's not particularly comprehensive." open="off" _builder_version="3.21"]Unfortunately, this is staying the way it is. They will not be changing it back to a text field. The problem here is that we're used to entering job titles rather than occupations. In the old system, BDM would change whatever we had entered from a job title to an occupation (unless of course we'd already entered an occupation). Because the occupation field is not printed on the official marriage certificate couples receive from BDM, no one ever knew this was happening.
The way the BDM staff member explained it at a meeting I attended in early March is that her job title is Deputy Director Operations, but her occupation is public servant. Therefore public servant needs to go on the marriage paperwork.
The occupation information is for statistical purposes only (although it seems that even that advice isn't current; it appears that the Australian Bureau of Statistics isn't using the occupation information in any of its marriage reporting anymore). So BDM has taken the occupations list from the ABS and uploaded it directly into RIO.
What does this mean for us in practice? It means we need to drill down a bit further when we ask our couples what they do for work, and we need to ensure their occupation is recorded, not their job title.
I have managed to get hold of the list of occupations through another celebrant colleague (thanks Naomi!). I’ll be taking the list with me to meetings and making sure the occupation the parties choose is on the list before we finalise the NOIM.
There’s over 1100 occupations on the list, and quite frankly it appears that no one at BDM read it before publishing it to the system. According to the list, parties can choose occupations including “sales lady/home duties” (yes, that is a single line), “statue”, “different things”, and “puppet”. I presume the way the list was developed originally was from occupations people have listed on their census. It also includes an awful lot of job titles. *sigh*
It is highly likely that the occupation field will be removed from all marriage documentation when the new documents are released, which MLCS is currently saying will be mid-2019. Fingers crossed.
Reference List Occupations
This is the official written response from BDM: RIO has been designed for consistency with ABS occupation list options. It does not provide for job titles to be listed, for example, by providing a ‘free text’ or ‘other’ option. Please find the most suitable option from the list provided.
Update 19 March: friend of the Celebrant Institute, Michael Pratt, has managed to secure a new version of the occupations list from BDM, and it appears some changes have been made. I've uploaded the new version to the link above. The response he's had from BDM is: "BDM VIC are updating the occupation list with received requests to add new occupations". So I think on a case by case basis they are adding new occupations if it seems there's really nothing similar available.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="In MCO we could click a box under each party's usual place of residence to say the other party also lived there, and it would copy the address across. It would be useful if we could do that in RIO. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Advice from BDM is that it is highly unlikely that this will occur.
BDM's written response: You can use ‘copy and paste’ to transfer details, however, entering separately does provide further assurance address details are correctly recorded for each party, especially if you are ordering a certificate when the address will be pre-populated for the party who will be receiving the certificate.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Please include West Germany in the list of countries of birth; East Germany is there, but not West. I have asked for this previously and was told it would be included in RIO." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM is aware of this and they're working on it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It is confusing having to enter the party's birth certificate details in two places: under Party 1/2's Birth Details and under Party 1/2's Identification. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]I suggest removing it from the Birth Details section and leaving it only in the Identification section, as an answer to the Evidence of Date and Place of Birth question.
See response above re driver's licence in the evidence of date and place of birth section. Apparently it has to be in both places.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It would be preferable if all of Party 1's information was together, followed by all of Party 2's information. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]If we're entering the data from identity documents it is annoying and time consuming to have to switch between documents rather than being able to complete all info re one party at the same time. I know you can click on the navigation links on the left of the page, but it would be cleaner if the information flowed down the page in this way.
BDM agrees, and they're working on it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Not only should all of Party 1's information together and all of Party 2's, but all of Party 1's parents' information should be together (names and countries of birth). " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]I'm sure it makes sense for some reason in the back end of the database to split this information, but it's not very sensible or intuitive for data entry purposes.
BDM agrees and they're working on it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The current NOIM issued by the Attorney General's Office only asks for mother's maiden name, not mother's current surname. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Basically the response here is "we know you don't have to collect it, but we'd love it if you did." They're trying to create as many opportunities to link up records as they can, so providing more information rather than less is their goal.
They are happy if we put Unknown or the maiden name in the Mother's family name field.
They will be adding the Family name at birth field for Fathers as well (they admit that it should have been there already), and they're likely to be changing the titles to Parent 1 and Parent 2.
Written response from BDM: "We are looking into making this field non-mandatory. However, we would encourage celebrants to fill in this field as it will assist us to develop person-centred records over time that will assist individual customers accessing their records and those of family members, and genealogists."
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Why is father's country of birth and whether or not they're alive not a required field, but mother's is?" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Excellent question, said BDM, the mother's information should also be required. They're working on it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="We should not need to enter the party's period of residence in Australia if they were born in Australia. In MCO, those fields only became live for parties born outside Australia. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM agrees and they're working on it. For the time being, just put their age in years in the Years box, and put 0 in the Months box.
A reminder that this period of residence is as at the time the NOIM was signed.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The Guidelines on the Marriage Act only require us to enter months of residence in Australia on the NOIM if the party has been here less than two years; over two years they only require the number of years. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]However RIO states the month field is required. Again, we should not need to enter information that is not required by the NOIM or the AGD.
BDM is aware of this, and just like with mother's current family name, they would like us to collect it if we remember; when building the system they worked off the NOIM, which simply asks for years and months, and they didn't look at the Guidelines that add a nuance to the rule about not needing to record months if they've been here more than two years. So they would like us to record years and months of residence for all parties, regardless of how long they've been in Australia.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Driver’s licence should not be included in the dropdown list of documents that can be sighted for date and place of birth; licences are only to be used for confirming identity. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]A lot of celebrants are extremely confused about this, because the system is so ridiculously laid out. It asks for the party’s birth certificate details at the same place as their date of birth and other information, and then it asks for evidence of date and place of birth again further down the database.
The inclusion of driver’s licence in the evidence of date and place of birth list has led some celebrants to erroneously believe that they should list the birth certificate only in the first place it’s requested, and the licence in the date and place of birth section. This is wrong.The system asks whether we’ve sighted a birth certificate, and for its document number, when we’re inputting the party’s name and date of birth and other identifying information. This is allegedly for verification purposes, although it’s not required and it doesn’t seem to do anything. However if you’ve sighted a birth certificate, pop the details in there.Further down the database, the system asks for evidence of date and place of birth, and provides a dropdown list of documents we could sight, including birth certificate, Australian and foreign passport, statutory declaration, and driver’s licence. What this question is actually asking for is the birth certificate details for a second time, or the passport details if that’s what you’ve sighted for evidence of date and place of birth.The next question asks us whether we have confirmed the party’s identity, and gives us Yes or No as options. It does not ask us to provide the details of the document we have seen to confirm the party’s identity (which is where a driver’s licence comes in). This is actually correct, because sighting a form of photo ID is only best practice as recommended by the Guidelines; the Act only requires that we are “satisfied as to the identity of the party”. So this question is asking us whether or not we are satisfied as to the identity of the party; we just click Yes and carry on.We should still record the details of the driver’s licence or whatever other form of ID we’ve seen to confirm identity on the paper NOIM.I believe the system is supposed to open up a series of boxes asking for the type of document we’ve sighted for confirmation of identity (because it does open those boxes when you note that you’ve seen a statutory declaration for date and place of birth) but it’s not working right now. So for the time being, just tick Yes that you’ve confirmed their identity, and carry on.Written response from BDM when asked where do you key in a person's driver's licence details: You don’t need to – only key in details of the document you are using to evidence place and date of birth (as noted above, driver’s licence does not record place of birth and we are working towards removing this option).
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The list of %22reasons for statutory declaration%22 is completely bizarre; it pulls up a list of conjugal statuses, which is not relevant for the question of reason for a stat dec for date and place of birth. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]If a reason field is needed here at all, the list should include something like "refugee, no documentation available", or "documentation destroyed during war" or something. There shouldn't really be a reason question here at all.
BDM agrees, and they're working on it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="When %22Identity Confirmed?%22 is changed to Yes, if the evidence of date and place of birth is birth cert or passport, nothing else happens. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]But if the evidence is Statutory Declaration, fields to capture the type and number of identity document sighted are opened. Surely these should be opened with all entries. (The fields also get out of order when a Stat Dec is selected; the identity document fields come next, then whether the celebrant has signed the stat dec etc.)
Yeah this is weird. BDM is looking into it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The list of possible witnesses for signing the NOIM is not complete for all qualifications who can witness signatures on a NOIM. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]It would be more appropriate if there was a box to choose whether the NOIM was signed in Australia or overseas, then a conditional list depending on which was chosen, listing all possible witness qualifications.
I haven't heard anything about whether they're looking at changing this.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It would be really helpful if the entry was separated into %22complete these bits before the marriage%22 and %22complete these bits after the marriage%22. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]For example, the celebrant can't sign the NOIM until after the marriage, but the box asking if the celebrant has signed the NOIM is directly under the boxes asking if the parties have signed the NOIM, which of course they do when the NOIM is lodged.
I think BDM doesn't really understand what I'm on about here, but the new NOIM is set out in this way, so hopefully they'll change it when the new paperwork comes out (hopefully mid-2019).
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It's confusing that when you press the Save as Draft button, it takes you back up the record to the first place where there's an error message on a field. It's not clear that the record has been saved. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Bad luck, we just have to get used to this one. But you can rest assured that in general, even if you've got orange validation errors in your document, the information will save! In fact, if you scroll to the top of the document, you'll see a lovely green highlighted line saying the notification has saved.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It is EXCEPTIONALLY confusing that NOIMs and DONLIMs/OCMs can't be generated from the %22Related Documents%22 navigation link on the left of within the record, especially when there's a Generate Document choice in that area that doesn't seem to do anything. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]That Generate Document section really needs to be removed, unless there's a use for it I haven't yet found.
BDM agrees this was confusing; Generate Documents should have been removed from the Related Documents navigation link. It was set to be removed the first weekend in March. It's no longer appearing in my Action List, but it did take several days for the change to take effect.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It would be useful if there was an instruction at the bottom of the record saying something like %22To print the NOIM and/or DONLIM/OCM, go to your Drafts list, check the box of the record you wish to print, scroll to the bottom of the screen, and click Print%22" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]That would be sensible. I've got no news on that one.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="It would be great if on the Drafts page there could be a Print button at the top (next to Clear and Search) as well as at the bottom of the screen." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Advice from BDM is that this is never going to happen.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="When a NOIM is generated from the system to print, it should NOT include the following details on page 4: date marriage solemnised, place marriage solemnised, rites used, celebrant number. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]These details are only to be completed after the marriage has been solemnised, and including them on the generated NOIM means they will be filled in on the copy the couple signs when they lodge the NOIM before the marriage. I have mentioned this previously.
BDM is aware of this, but they're NOT working on it. They've told me it's highly unlikely those fields will not be auto-completed in the document.
However I do know that the next iteration of the NOIM (hopefully due out mid-2019) separates the information into "fill this in before the wedding" and "fill this in after the wedding", so hopefully BDM will have to make it work when that comes out!
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The DONLIM pulls the parties' names backwards. It reads %22I, Surname First Name Other Name...%22 " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM is aware of this and they're working on it.
Written response from BDM: BDM is working on aspects of how data entered by marriage celebrants appears in relevant marriage documents as a priority.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Party 1's address prints out in a smaller font than Party 2's address on the OCM and DONLIM, even when they live at the same address." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM Is aware of this and they're working on it.
Written response from BDM: BDM is working on aspects of how data entered by marriage celebrants appears in relevant marriage documents as a priority.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Long addresses are not printing in full on the OCM or DONLIM." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Written response from BDM: BDM is working on aspects of how data entered by marriage celebrants appears in relevant marriage documents as a priority
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Many celebrants are having trouble generating the documents (NOIM, DONLIM, OCM)" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Written response from BDM: When you request to print a document in RIO, the system will open a pop-up window in your browser.If your browser has a pop-up blocker, it may be preventing this window from appearing.Please ensure your pop-up blocker is switched off for RIO.To find specific instructions on how to do this in your browser, we recommend googling ‘pop up blocker’ and the name of your browser (e.g. “pop up blocker internet explorer”). It is generally a simple process
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="References to Form 16 for the official certificate of marriage should be removed; the numbering system was removed for all except the Form 15 in July 2014, and newer celebrants will find it confusing," _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM is aware of this and they're working on it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Please, please, please put an instruction with the %22Transfer to another celebrant%22 option that celebrants transferring the marriage must still comply with the Marriage Act requirement to transfer the hard copy, signed NOIM to the new celebrant, as well as transferring the data within RIO. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]This information hasn't been included in any of the training material as far as I'm aware, and many celebrants will believe they've done all they need to do if they transfer within RIO.
BDM is aware of this and they're considering it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The field %22Original marriage documents received%22 is confusing." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]I presume we change this to Yes when we have uploaded the NOIM, DONLIM and OCM, but then they're not originals, they're scanned copies, and we can't certify BDM has received them, only that we've uploaded them. So it would be better to be worded something such as "Marriage documentation uploaded", and it would be even better if it automatically changed to Yes when we uploaded the documents.
Apparently this field is supposed to be about whether or not we, the celebrant, have the original marriage documents in hand. That's clearly not what it says. I'm using it in the way I think it's supposed to be used; that we tick Yes once we've uploaded the marriage documents to the system. BDM is aware of this and they're considering changing the wording.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Can we upload the marriage documents all at once, rather than individually?" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Written response from BDM: We need the DoNLI and OCM provided separately to the NOIM. Celebrants may upload the DoNLIM and OCM separately, or together, depending on their preference (that is, as one or two documents).
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The fees for the certificate and postage are not listed anywhere within the certificate order form." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]It would be helpful particularly for the postage if the amounts were listed in the dropdown list where you can choose the type of postage.
Fees for certificates and postage can be found here: https://www.bdm.vic.gov.au/about-us/fees
BDM is aware of this and they're considering whether to add the fees to the dropdown list where we choose the type of postage.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="I have a couple who would like me to order their certificate for them. They live in the Philippines though, where the mail system is not great, so they would like me to have the certificate sent to the groom's mother's home in Berwick. How can I make this happen in RIO?" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]This is totally doable!
When we order a certificate for the couple, in the Delivery Details screen you can now fill in anyone's details at all! (You used to have to choose Party 1 or Party 2 and edit the address, but that's changed.) Yay!
You can't do this in the Applicant Details section though, only in the Delivery Details section.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="In applying for a certificate you have to enter the phone number in a very specific format." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]It has to have no hyphens, spaces or brackets.
You need +61 at the front for your country code
Then leave out the leading 0 and enter the rest of the number.
So my phone number would be: +61458022190
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The list of document types in the Add Document section is pretty confusing because the terminology is not correct and/or not consistent." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Not correct: Declaration of No Impediment to Marry is actually called the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage
Not consistent: DONLIM line says signed at the end, the NOIM line says signed at the beginning.
It is also unclear whether we are supposed to upload the DONLIM and OCM as one file (given they're both listed in the same line) or as separate files (given the line title has an OR in between the two document names).
I have suggested the following list, in the following order, would be more useful:Notice of Intended Marriage (signed)Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage (signed)Official Certificate of Marriage (signed)Statutory Declaration re date and place of birth (signed)Certificate of Faithful Performance by Interpreter (signed)Parental consent for underage marriage (signed)Court order for underage marriage (signed)I know it may be difficult to put the document types in an order other than alphabetical, but this order would make more sense as it has the most used documents at the top of the list.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="My tax invoice for the certificate payment reads ABN: $abnNumber for BDM's ABN. It is also addressed to Rachael Russell (Party 2) rather than to me, and as I made the payment I need to have it addressed to me so I can claim it against my business. " _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]There didn't seem to be an option in the certificate order section to order as myself, the celebrant, only to order it as Party 1 or Party 2.
BDM is aware of the issues with some of the form fields not pulling their information correctly (such as the $abnNumber field in this document) and are working to fix it.
I haven't heard anything about how to get the invoice addressed to me though.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="When trying to submit a completed marriage, I'm getting an error message saying %22Application is not yet completed/Validation errors%22" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]I've been on the phone with BDM for a long time this morning (18 March) trying to get to the bottom of this.I've completed a marriage notification, including uploading documents and selecting Yes for all "has this person signed that document" questions.I've ordered the marriage certificate for the couple.The marriage certificate order says "Application saved, no validation errors"The marriage notification says "Saved, no validation errors"The listing in my drafts list says "Ready to submit"When I click on the box next to the marriage in my drafts list, scroll to the bottom and press Submit, where it should say "Ready to submit" instead it says "Application is not yet completed/Validation errors"I have had this same problem with almost every marriage I've tried to submit.Last week when I rang BDM, Stacey logged into my account and after pressing Save a few times managed to make it work; it was magic, and magic isn't really the solution here.If I delete the certificate request, it will say "Ready to submit", but that's not a solution either; we have the option to order the certificate and we should be able to do it.So this morning I've spoken to Dina, who tried everything Stacey tried last week, and she couldn't get it to work either.I let her know I'm not the only person with this problemShe has escalated it to the support team and will let me know what happens next.Stay tuned, hopefully we'll have a response to this one in time!
Update 25 March 2019: This issue has allegedly been resolved, but I'll wait until I've submitted a few more weddings before I get too excited!
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Why isn't the Submit button lighting up when the marriage says it's ready to submit?" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]We've been told that we can order the marriage certificate on behalf of the couple at any stage before submitting the marriage. No problem. However there's a weird glitch in the system that means that even if you order the certificate six months before the marriage, once you've made changes to the marriage notification you need to go back into the certificate application and press Next at the bottom of each page. (This includes even if you go into the marriage notification again just to check it's all there after you've requested the certificate, even if you don't make any changes.)
Essentially this will update the information in the certificate application with any changes you've made to the marriage notification (or confirm the details if you haven't changed anything) and then allow you to submit the marriage.
I found this because even though a marriage was listed as Ready to Submit in the Drafts list, when I clicked on the checkbox and scrolled to the bottom of the page, the Submit button wasn't live. Once I went back in to the certificate request and "Next-ed" through each of the pages, the Submit button became live!
So another step to add to the workflow. The tech agreed it was stupid, but that's just the way it is at the moment
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The draft list of marriage notifications seems to appear in no apparent order when you first open it." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]It's not alphabetical by either party's name, it's not in order of date of marriage, it seems to be completely random. It would be helpful if it was in the order of the date of marriage as a default when that screen is opened.
So it's actually in the order the marriages were entered into the system, with the most recently entered marriage on top. You can change the way the list is ordered by clicking on the column headers, but it won't stay that way; the next time you enter the drafts list you'll need to change the order again.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="There needs to be a space where we can leave notes for the registration team like there was in MCO." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM wanted to know what on earth we'd want to put in such a field. I said things like if a party has moved house or changed occupation between signing the NOIM and the marriage; or if a party has a special character such as an umlaut on a letter in their name (special characters can't be entered in the system, so it would be nice to be able to leave a note to say there should be a special character, please put it on the official certificate); or if there's an occupation that's not in the list provided. They accepted that this could be useful and they're considering it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="A couple of my weddings that I entered in the first days of the system are still showing as In Progress rather than as Registered." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]These were both weddings that were migrated over from MCO, and there are some issues with some of the migrated records. It just means some of them need to be looked at and some errors fixed before the marriage can be registered; the automatic registration that's working for most of the marriages isn't working for some that were migrated from MCO. Be patient, they will be registered within 20 working days!
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="The question mark prompts at the right side of each field (which should provide further information) simply repeat the name of the field." _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]BDM is aware of this and they're looking into it.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Why can't I see the weddings I submitted to MCO?" _builder_version="3.21" open="off"]Written response from BDM: Previous completed and registered marriages were not migrated for celebrants to view – only draft marriage notifications were migrated into RIO, provided the RIO stakeholder account registration was completed prior to go-live and that the drafts had a valid marriage date entered as per our earlier advice to celebrants
[/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
### Victorian BDM RIO tutorial
Let's face it, the new BDM online registration system implementation has not had the smoothest roll-out in the history of tech roll-outs. It's certainly not a particularly intuitive, user-friendly system, and I'm disappointed at the number of issues with it. However I also know BDM are working really hard to rectify the issues as soon as possible.
To help those of you who are struggling with how on earth to use this new system (because the user guide and video tutorial aren't exactly useful either), I've put together a step by step video that takes you through registering a new marriage from beginning to end, including how to print your documents from the system and how to upload them so you can submit the marriage.
Remember, we no longer post our marriage documentation to BDM. We just upload scanned copies of all documents, and save on postage charges!
You can purchase the video and its transcript here:
[purchase_link id="1195" text="Purchase BDM RIO video" style="button" color="blue"]
### How I perform ceremonies without notes or a script
My couples tell me they love it, wedding vendors are always surprised, and other celebrants are always blown away. They are bewildered by my ability to perform a marriage ceremony without a script or notes.
Today, I'll tell you my secret, and it comes via Mark Twain:
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
The fact is that I'm a terrible script reader, I have tried my hand in theatre and it is not somewhere I excelled. The ability to read and perform a script well is not a talent I hold. So if you can do it, you're doing better than me. Faced with this dilemma early on in my celebrancy career I had to find a better way.
I reflected on my radio career and my best moments on air were when I was passionate about the subject, I was knowledgeable, I wasn't acting, but I was vulnerable and authentic.
I knew that I had to bring that to my weddings.
Back to Mr Twain, if I simply told the truth in my marriage ceremonies, I wouldn't have to have a script, or notes, or I wouldn't have to try hard to remember anything. It would all just come naturally.
So how can you create a commercially viable business out of speaking the truth two to three times a week for completely different couples?
My truth
I would need to dig deep into my brain and really figure out what my truth was. In regards to marriage, weddings, and what it all means. Why do I think marriage is important, what do I think marriage is, and how does it affect people? How do I think it makes the world a better place and why am I encouraging of people entering marriage?
Further to that, once I had a solid understanding of what marriage meant to me, and what weddings were for, I would need to avidly, tenaciously, and boldly communicate that over a course of not just days or weeks, but months and years. In my case it's been for almost ten years.
I hope that if anyone looks over the past ten years of my social media, blogging, vlogging, and podcasting, that you would see that scarlet thread of truth running through all of my thoughts. I might have grown up, matured, and possibly even got a little smarter, but that authenticity would run deep through it all.
Their truth
This is the tricky part, because I completely want my couples to have their own agency, their own thoughts and beliefs, but all the time being close to my worldview.
I'm essentially looking for my truth and their truth to line up.
We don't need to be facsimile's of each other, but we would need to be able to be friends even if I wasn't marrying them.
It's still up to me to get to know the couple, and learn their story, but if I never knew their story and was thrown in the deep end, I could probably present a ceremony for them.
The truth of the day
Finally, the last piece of the puzzle is being aware of the event and the day. What crowd is rolling in, and how do they feel? What does the venue feel like and is the ceremony in a good place or a weird place, position-wise?
The actual physical surrounds, the weather, and the guests all weigh in on how the ceremony will feel and they definitely factor in to the truth of it.
The meetings
In all of our meetings together I am writing down notes about the couple's truths, what matters to them, and how we all line up, but ultimately I'm building their trust in me and making sure that we are all in alignment as to what their marriage is and how we can celebrate it the best.
At the end I have a Google Doc full of notes about the couple, their story, and what matters to them. I'm essentially writing a note that future Josh will read on their wedding day.
The preparation
Before the ceremony I read that note past Josh wrote for me, and I get enveloped in their story.
I try to make the effort to catch up with both parties before the ceremony so they know I'm there and I have connected with them even briefly on a personal level outside of the ceremony.
Minutes before the ceremony I literally write (or type) their full name as a physical manifestation of remembering their middle and last names.
And then the music starts.
The ceremony and my 'bits'
If you talk to comedians, their whole act, even their whole career, is split up into 'bits'. The bit about Melbourne, the bit about public servants, the bit about that politician. They write all their bits, rehearse them, memorise them, and in their show, depending on the crowd, the vibe, and hope they're feeling they bring out different bits and sometimes even customise them for the crowd.
My marriage ceremonies are very similar, I have a library of bits that I have written, rehearsed, tried, loved, and memorised.
I saw the band Weezer play recently and their's a line in one of their songs that references 'going to the Green Day concert' but on the day I saw them they were opening for the Foo Fighters so they changed that bit to 'going to the Foo Fighters concert'.
That's how I perform a ceremony, I have all my bits, the bits I know that work, and those that work for certain kinds of couples. Some days, like yesterday, I think of a new bit on the fly and I try it out, and some days I'll bring out a bit I haven't used in years.
And it works because of this core belief of mine: people will never remember what I said in their ceremony, but they will always remember how I made them feel.
It's that easy
I've always believed that things like this are easy until they're not, and that's where talent, skill, and experience come into play.
That note I wrote with the couple's names is in my suit pocket, and I've been doing this long enough that I can't make an awesome ceremony happen even without a script.
How will you go? We'll never know until you try, but make sure you stay true to yourself and what you're good at. The best celebrant you can be is you, everyone else is terrible at being you.
### How a real celebrant should read the Guidelines, and other thoughts on marriage celebrancy
The recent post on sighting ID included some powerful language from the Attorney-General's office:
The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants is issued to assist celebrants to comply with the Marriage Act and Regulations. Ultimately it is up to the celebrant to comply with all of the requirements of the Act. I appreciate that some of the language used in the Guidelines is of a directive nature, rather than of best practice nature.
Commonwealth Attorney-General's Marriage Celebrants Section
I wanted to pull that quote out and then bring it together with Sarah's fantastic briefing on the most recent (at time of posting) Guidelines update, "What's changed". In the first part of that seven part epic series, Sarah noted:
Obviously there are numerous items in the Guidelines that are MUST DOs; they’re the ones required by the Marriage Act 1961 or the Marriage Regulations 2017. Everything else can be considered a SHOULD DO; they’re suggestions of the best practice at the time of publication.
Sarah Aird
I often find the attitude of celebrants I meet not one of a Commonwealth Authorised Celebrant.
To hold the title 'Celebrant' in Australia you must of at one time, and still today be considered a person of "fit and proper person to be a marriage celebrant." The Registrar of Marriage Celebrants has considered you to be a person that "has sufficient knowledge of the law relating to the solemnisation of marriages" and is of good standing in their community.
Once the Registrar has checked you out you become "A person who is registered as a marriage celebrant may solemnise marriages at any place in Australia." You are a person of authority, and you are "duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law". That's not any old authorisation, that's duly authorised. That means you are authorised in accordance with what is required or appropriate; following proper procedure or arrangement.
In modern day language, as the youngins would say, "You 'da man".
I say all that to say this: you're better than your celebrant association thinks you are, you're better than the Facebook Groups say you are, you're better than the industry says you are.
You're a marriage celebrant who has the authority to read the Guidelines as guidelines and to marry people according to the law.
You're a marriage celebrant who has the character and skill to take the microphone and make this wedding an amazing wedding.
You're a marriage celebrant who is quite literally breathing people's marriages into life.
You're awesome, own it.
Back to reading the guidelines, read them as just that. Ultimately it is up to you to comply with all of the requirements of the Act, that even includes the bits which note "or words to that effect."
Do not worry yourself with the opinions of everyone in every celebrant Facebook group, in fact, if you want to experience true happiness, leave all the Facebook Groups. I did a few years ago and my sanity, joy, and business skyrocketed.
My hope for the Celebrant Institute is that we would assist you, help you, ride with you, and encourage you to be the best celebrant you can possibly be, but we can only go as far as you're willing to go.
So how far do you want to go?
### A massive change to how marriage celebrants can sight ID
For the past six months I have been pursuing a line of inquiry with the Attorney-General's office Marriage Celebrants Section over the line in the Guidelines section 4.4.2:
It is not acceptable for a celebrant to accept a NOIM and/or supporting documents via videoconferencing services such as Skype. Actual documentation must be received by the celebrant.
That line is from the Guidelines to the Marriage Act, not the actual Marriage Act. But even if it was, there is another piece of legislation called the Electronic Transactions Act that allows for the following:
If a Commonwealth law requires you to give information in writing, provide a handwritten signature, produce a document in material form the Electronic Transactions Act means you can do these things electronically.
So I've pursued this with the Attorney-General's office and received the following instruction today:
The Act does not prescribe how a celebrant is to satisfy themselves that the parties signing the NOIM are who they say they are. If a celebrant is satisfied as to a party’s identity using video conferencing media, then this is not inconsistent with the Act. A celebrant should ensure that evidence provided to establish date and place of birth can be reconciled to the identity of a party. For instance, if a party produced by email their birth certificate to the celebrant as evidence of their place and date of birth, the celebrant should reconcile that evidence against a photographic identity document to confirm identity. This might be achieved by a video conferencing call whereby the party presented their birth certificate and also a driving licence to the celebrant by showing it up to the camera during the video conferencing call.
Further to that point, I felt relieved to also read the following:
The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for authorised celebrants is issued to assist celebrants to comply with the Marriage Act and Regulations. Ultimately it is up to the celebrant to comply with all of the requirements of the Act. I appreciate that some of the language used in the Guidelines is of a directive nature, rather than of best practice nature. I will undertake to review and amend the Guidelines, where appropriate, regarding the matter you have raised to ensure the language is best practice rather directive.
I'll let you use your best judgement on ID and the Guidelines into the future.
### How to tell an enquiry "It's not you, it's me"
Tenielle asks
Hey guys, I'm hoping you can lend me some advice or wording to send to a couple. Met with them on Saturday and whilst they are lovely, the vibe was NOT there. Conversation was really stunted and it didn't seem like a natural fit from my perspective. I'm really not wanting to take their booking, but I don't know how to politely tell them, 'Thanks but no thanks'. I'm especially aware of any legal obligations we have to marry couples and not discriminate against them.
I would use the whole, 'Sorry I'm double booked!' route, but their date just opened for my bookings and that would be a blatantly obvious lie.
It's funny, both Sarah and my first reaction to this was "sure, we've felt that way, but never actually done it." Which highlights an important difference between many celebrants. Sarah and I both pay all our bills with celebrancy. Our celebrant income is our primary, and only, income - and although I've never acknowledged it before on this website, I think it's an important lens to see us both through. This simply means that sometimes we make decisions that lean towards "we got paid" away from "this couple is the best couple ever!"
More importantly though, I've got three responses to Tenielle's question because this situation is not unfamiliar to many of us.
Prevention
As with anything in life, prevention is better than a cure, so I go so far out of my way to craft my whole sales process - my website, my advertising, which fairs I exhibit at, who I refer to and from, my social media presence, and which venues I work closer with - so that couples that will love what I do, contact me.
I am so enamoured with this process that if I marry a couple who were not the right fit for me, my style, my personality, I over-analyse them to the point of no-return, trying to figure out what attracted them, and why they paid me so much money to play such an insignificant role in their life.
If you read through my content I've been creating for the last decade, it's all designed to offend the right people and attract the right people. It's no accident that I pick the battles I pick and I'm silent on other issues. Generally speaking, I'm terribly deliberate about my business actions.
Dealing with it in the meeting
One thing I require from my couples is active participation in our meetings, the ceremony planning, and the actual ceremony. So when we meet, even for a sales meeting, I try not to be the number one talker. I definitely lead the conversation, and the entire process, but I work hard to get them talking.
I'm literally typing this sitting in a pub in Western Sydney's Kingswood waiting for a couple. I like to meet in person over Skype if possible because it brings a level of personality and relationship I thrive in. The couple had suggested meeting at their home, and I turned the meeting around to meeting at the tavern because I wanted to own the situation. Meeting at their home makes it less of a date and more of an interview for a job. I use the word date deliberately, because it is a meeting to make sure we're right for each other.
I've already plastered who I am over the website and social media, and I revisit some of these topics when we meet, but I am always pushing the conversation back on to them with questions like this:
Tell me about the wedding
Why did you pick that venue?
Which other vendors like photo or video have you locked in? What did you love about them?
How did you find me?
How do you think I could make your wedding amazing?
How did you two meet?
What does marriage mean to you?
Is there anything I can answer for you that's not answered on my website?
After a barrage of questions like that we're either best friends or you never want to hear from me again.
Breaking up after the meeting
If you're charging a good fee, and you have communicated well about who you are, what you do, and what kind of couples book you, and the couple still want to book you then I would question your judgement on the couple. It is totally important that you have a good vibe on the couple, and that you gel, but if you've gone through the last two steps and they still want to pay you money to be their celebrant I would take it and write the afternoon off.
However, if you need to break up with them, I wouldn't lie, and I would not discriminate. I would tell them that for me to do my job best, the three of us really need to be able to communicate and understand each other well, and that after our last meeting I felt that you weren't able to communicate what you wanted and how you were feeling well, and ultimately I think that would result in me not doing the best job as a celebrant for you.
But I wouldn't be too worried, I don't think this couple is going to be in touch :)
### Do you really want that exposure?
On a road near my house there's a billboard that promises to expose my business to many thousands of people. A similar promise has been made by the producers of Married at First Sight and other TV shows. Everyone wants to sell us exposure.
I would argue that exposure is the last thing we need.
A bad day
I'm willing to bet that your day would be significantly worse if you had 300 daily enquiries for people who would never book you. I know my life would be unimaginably more stressed if I had to take even 10 or 20 more phone calls a day.
Exposure
Exposure can bring all that. You can spend enough money on advertising, billboards, social media marketing, SEO, public relations, magazine features, and mailbox drops that you'll get that exposure, and your life will be worse off for it.
Because most of us would be financially and soulfully happy if we married a certain number of couples. For some it might be 30 a year, or 100. I can tell you from my own experience that more than 200 is a drain on your soul that none of us are prepared for.
Number one
Gaining that massive exposure where you get to call yourself the number one celebrant, or the most popular celebrant, or the best, or whatever tagline you think works for you, will certainly take you to that number quickly.
But can I propose a different way, a way that might bring you to your goal albeit slower, but whilst maintaining your sanity and your joy.
Awareness is not action
Just because all these new people know you exist, it doesn't mean they will enquire with you, book you, and love what you do. Just because they are aware of you does not mean they will act on contacting and booking you.
I would focus my energy on trying to expose myself to people that would take action.
First step is self-awareness
Know what you're good at and not good at. Cut out everything that is hard for you, too much work, things that don't bring you joy in your celebrancy business. For some it might be travel, for others it might be supplying furniture, if it doesn't bring you joy, bin it.
Second step is client awareness
What about you have people loved? What elements of your business do people go out of their way to compliment you on? I know in my business my couples love that I don't read from a script, but in your business it will be something special about you.
Third step is clarification
Bring that self-awareness and the things that matter to clients, and mash it together into a brand, a product offering, a price, and a package, that sits well with your soul. Once you've built the product, and the storefront (website and social media), you need to find the right people to tell. And that's a story for another article.
### Ceremony design process
Veronica has had a pretty rough trot with a renewal couple:
They were one of my first bookings after becoming a celebrant. I was really unsure of how a renewal should run...only that it would be similar to a wedding just really without the legals. Since our first meeting in September, I have met with them four times, multiple messages and numerous phone calls. They sent me their desired ceremony plan. Which essentially had me as an MC...introducing a number of speakers and readers. They had also put my name against a couple of tasks. So based on that I wrote a script (as not very good at ad lib) and went to meet with them for a "rehearsal". They almost tore the script to shreds. They had also added and removed things from their original plan without telling me and wanted to know where I planned on putting these new ideas in the ceremony. Not liking my suggestions and especially suggesting that it was getting a bit long. Decided to sit back and let them decide. We finally came to a mutual agreement and now they want to see my amended script so they can check it all over before finalising.So, feeling a little flattened and that I have had to work exceptionally hard for my fee (which is less than what I charge for a wedding). Did I miss something? Should I have asked questions differently? Really not wanting to go anywhere near Vow Renewals any more. How should I have handled it all?
Part of what happens when we start a new business is we very quickly learn that some of our well thought out processes don't work as well as we thought they would :) This is a pretty awful situation for any celebrant to be in, but I think Veronica and others will learn a lot from it.
I think one of the first things to note here is that this is not about vow renewals as a whole. I see this as a process issue, and this couple could have been getting married and there would have been the same issues. So don't throw out vow renewals altogether!
I've talked in the past about how incredibly process driven I am. I map out for my couples from the very beginning of our time together when and how often I'll meet with them, how I'm going to work with them to create their ceremony, and give them plenty of resources to help with their ceremony creation.
What this all boils down to is that I am generally in control from the very beginning of the relationship, and I think it's important to assert your authority.
I'm not sure what Veronica did to gather information to build the ceremony, but from her question it sounds like the couple just sent a ceremony plan out of the blue. Yes, some couples will try to take control like that, but if you have a strong process you could potentially avoid it.
I have no problem at all with Veronica writing a script, I write scripts for every ceremony, but I would recommend sending it to the couple before turning up to the rehearsal, so that they've got time to read and digest it, and send you back their comments, before you're sitting in front of them. I always plan to have the ceremony script finalised before we get to the rehearsal stage. I can only imagine how awful it was for Veronica to have her script torn to shreds in person; it would be much easier to deal with that by email.
And yes, I've absolutely had clients who've entirely rewritten a script, and it definitely stings, but I remind myself that it's their ceremony and the whole reason for me giving them a script beforehand is so they can make any changes they like.
So in a nutshell, if I were Veronica I would be looking again at my process. Did I tell the couple how many times I was prepared to meet with them? Did I give them suggestions of how a ceremony generally works? Did I use a questionnaire or a checklist to gather information from them about what they wanted included in their ceremony? Did I ask them how long they wanted it to be? Did I give them a timeline for when I would send a script and when I wanted it finalised by? Was I in control? Did I set boundaries?
Now it's absolutely possible that even with the very best process in place, this couple would have been difficult. Some clients just are, and there's nothing we can do about it other than paste the smile on our face, do the very best job we can for them, and remember that not everyone is like them. Sometimes we work harder for our fee than others. My mum always tells me I don't have to like all my clients, as long as they pay the bill :)
So my advice to Veronica is do your very best job for this couple and remember you never have to see them again, go back and look at your process, make sure you explain your boundaries and the way you work to future couples, and don't give up on vow renewals!
[/MM_Access_Decision]
### Vow and ring exchange logistics
Tori asks:
I have a logistics question for you around microphones/vow cards/ring exchanges. My first ceremony is fast approaching, and my couple have written their own vows. The plan at the moment is for me to hop out of the way during the vow exchange, leaving them to hold the mic for themselves while they read from their respective vow cards. They like the idea of ending the vows with the ring exchange (e.g. the bride would hold the mic for herself, read from her vow card, and wrap her vows up by presenting her partner with the ring. Then they would swap, and he would hold the mic for himself, read from his vow card and finish it off by presenting her with the ring). My concern is this - doing it this way would leave them with a lot to juggle - holding the mic and their vow card, plus a ring which they will be slipping on the other person's hand at the same time. I guess my question is this: what do you find works best in the situation - do you tend to always hold the mic for the couple if they are reading from vow cards, or would you just avoid combining the ring exchange in with the vows, and instead let them do the vows with you out of the way and then come back in to feed them their ring exchange wording while holding the mic for them?
Excellent question Tori, and one I've spent a lot of ceremonies experimenting with!
When my couples write their own vows, I always print them onto a card to read from rather than have them repeat after me. The reason for this is that they don't want to hear their partner's beautiful words coming out of my mouth first; I did it once in my first year, he'd written a beautiful joke in his vows, and she laughed when I said it. Never again. So you're spot on with the vow cards.
I spent a lot of ceremonies holding the microphone for them while they held their vow card, but with me standing directly behind the person speaking rather than in between the couple.
Vows read from a card with me holding the mic, but standing behind the groom
I did it this way because I always wanted the couple to be able to hold hands with their free hand. I feel sad when I see photos of couples not holding hands during their vow exchange; I feel like it's such an intimate part of the ceremony, they should be touching.
But then at one of my OPD sessions in 2017 a couple of lovely celebrants showed me there was a way they could hold the vow card, the microphone, and be touching, and I could get out of the way altogether!
Vows read from a card with me out of the picture!
They face each other. With the hand closest to the guests they hold the vow card. With the hand furthest from the guests they hold the microphone. The partner holds the hand holding the vow card. Hopefully that makes sense!
But you're right, adding the rings in to that equation makes for a lot of things to juggle. If they're saying words with the rings, I just separate them out from the vows altogether, so after the vows are finished I come back behind them, I get the ring bearer to come behind them and open the ring box for one partner to take the ring out and put it halfway on the other's finger, and then I stand behind them again to feed the ring wording while they're putting the ring on.
Ring exchange with me feeding the words and holding the mic
My suggestion would be to separate the rings out if they're okay with that, especially if there's ring wording to go with the exchange. They really need both hands to put the ring on anyway - one hand to hold the other's hand, and one to hold the ring, as in the pic above. And if there's words to be said that go with the rings, it will be impossible for them to hold the ring, card with the words, and microphone at the same time. That sounds like a recipe for disaster! Explain the logistics to them and why you're recommending that.
If they really want to end their vows with the ring-putting-on, and there are no words that go with the rings, I would suggest they don't get the ring until they've finished saying their vows. So they hold the vow card and the mic and each other's hand, say their vows, and then when they've finished speaking the ring bearer comes forward with the ring box, they take the ring out and put it on the other's hand with no words.
I have actually scripted that I would do that before, but each time I've gotten so caught up in the beautiful vows that I've completely forgotten the rings in between the two sets of vows, and just done them in my normal place, both being exchanged at the same time after the vows are said :)
Also just a tip with the rings, and this is my personal preference (I know some celebrants are the exact opposite to me in this regard). I always insist the rings are in something (a bag, a box, on a pillow, whatever), because loose rings are another recipe for disaster (try saying that to a gay male couple and watch them try not to snigger). Then my rule is that neither I nor the ring bearer (or best man or whoever has the ring/s) touches the actual rings, then we can't get in trouble if they fall on the ground. I have the ring bearer come behind the couple, open the box, and have the party take the other's ring out, then the ring bearer goes back to the side while they put the ring on and say the words, and vice versa. I hope that makes sense!
### The Unofficial Guidelines on the 'Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants' for Marriage Celebrants
Deb writes in asking
"I appear to get myself into hot water time and time again, by saying that the Guidelines are just that GUIDELINES, and the act and the regs are the actual LAW. Am I right?"
Deb, I would tell you that you are totally correct. The Guidelines are not the law, the law is the law and the Guidelines are the Attorney-General's office Marriage Celebrants Section legal team best interpretation of the Marriage Act of 1961 into circumstances and issues they perceive to be relevant to marriage celebrants.
So as much as the Guidelines are not the law, they are the boss' best guess as to what the Marriage Act of 1961 means.
So what does this mean?
Well in my interpretation of the AG office's interpretation of the law I would say that until communicated otherwise, listen to the Guidelines to the best of your ability and knowledge. Breaking a guideline won't have the local AFP squad bursting down your door anytime soon. But where it might come into play is
in your professional review the AG's office takes of you every now and then,
when talking to other celebrants and they don't appreciate how rouge and crazy you are,
keeping your ass out of jail in sticky situations,
copying and pasting sections to couples trying to do dodgy shit.
With that said, the Guidelines indeed are not law, and the interpretation is merely that, a human's best interpretation of the law. The best thing about Australian democracy is that you and I have the power and agency to push back on different issues.
Only recently the Australian public pushed back on the Howard Governent's re-interpretation of the Marriage Act and Constitution and now everyone in Australia can get married, instead of a select community.
Sometimes we push back and we get the conflict of interest guidelines changed. The Marriage Act of 1961 did not change, but because of my multiple emails, phone calls, and meetings with the Attorney-General's Marriage Celebrants Section the conflict of interest guidelines were changed. They changed their interpretation of the act because we stood up and questioned it.
Sarah and others pushed back on the recent misinterpretation of "one month's notice" and the AG's office changed the Guidelines.
I'm doing the same thing at the moment in regards to sighting evidence of identity and birth. The Electronic Transactions Act says that "ensures that a transaction under a Commonwealth law will not be invalid simply because it was conducted through electronic communication. If a Commonwealth law requires you to: give information in writing, provide a handwritten signature, produce a document in material form, record or retain information, the Electronic Transactions Act means you can do these things electronically." So Commonwealth Law actually overrules the Guideline's guidelines. I'm not telling you to accept passports over email, but until such time as the Guidelines are updated I'll let you and your lawyer figure it out. Or you can do like I am and email marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au every month until they reply. (Spoiler alert, they don't reply).
So the Guidelines are just that, guidelines, and the Marriage Act of 1961 is the law that would be argued in court, but unless you want to have every celebrant in the country making complaints about you (it's so much fun having your lawyer reply to all those emails) I recommend staying within the goal posts set out by the AG's office unless you have a conviction that the Guidelinesshould change, and when you have that conviction, start with an email, end with a blog post like this one.
### What do I read my ceremony from?
Tori asks:
I have my first ceremony coming up in a week and a half (for a good friend), and while I am feeling pretty on top of things overall, I am still trying to work out what I will use to read from on the day. I was hoping you could talk a little bit about your experience/thoughts on using a tablet (which I've noticed quite a few celebrants tend to be doing?) VS something like a nice looking binder. Any specific tips/considerations either way (e.g. if you use a tablet, do you find a cover for it that you can tuck vow cards into?), and if you do go the binder/folder route, any ideas for where to buy something appropriate? Last question! If you do tend to use a tablet, do you always have a hard copy as backup anyway?
First of all Tori, congrats on your first ceremony coming up! It's an exciting and nerve wracking time all in one, but I'm sure you'll be great :)
I'm answering this one because Josh doesn't read from a script, so he's of no use whatsoever for this question :)
I have literally tried all of the things when it comes to what I read my ceremony from.
For my very first ceremony, another celebrant had told me that an A5 folder was easier to manage than an A4 folder. So I promptly went out and bought a (very ugly) A5 binder and some A5 plastic pockets, and read my ceremony from that. One fairly major problem: I found myself holding the folder against my stomach to steady it, and I couldn't see the ceremony over my boobs. Sorry if that's too much information, but they're kind of big and it was a legitimate issue! So I did away with the A5 folder, which was just as well because it really was very ugly.
(As an aside, my aunt was also horrified by the ugliness of the A5 binder, so my uncle played around with some leather offcuts in his shed and made me a beautiful leather A5 folder and an A4 one, which was lovely, but by then I'd figured out A5 wasn't going to work for me, and I'd found the A4 folder I'll talk about below, so they didn't get a lot of use.)
I headed back to my favourite shop of all time, Officeworks, and spent a long time in the display folder aisle. Eventually I found a black, hard cover display folder with a normal book spine, not ring bound or with that big ugly plastic thing you usually see on display folders. They don't seem to stock them anymore, but this is the closest one I could find.
I bought a bunch of those and I still use them to display my Ceremony Builder Booklets and other info for taking along to couple meet and greets. They look nice in my hand, they're hard cover so they don't flap around, the plastic sheets are thicker than normal so they're better on windy days, and overall I was pretty happy. I still had the boob problem, but I solved that by printing my scripts with an 8cm margin at the bottom of every page. Oh, and for the record, I printed my scripts in 14pt Calibri font at 1.5 spacing, with normal margins at the top and sides (2.54cm) and the 8cm margin at the bottom.
Black folder front cover
Black folder nice spine
Black folder open (and sideways, sorry about that!)
There are lots of places to buy lovely folders that aren't Officeworks. I know several celebrants who've had folders custom made by a book binder, and many of the quirkier stationery shops (think Typo, Kikki K, etc) also have nice folders.
Towards the end of my first year as a celebrant I got sick of other people looking after the music at my ceremonies and ALWAYS GETTING IT WRONG. So I decided I was going to take charge of the music; I bought a Bluetooth receiver to plug into my PA system and a small iPod that I keep just for ceremonies, but I knew using my folder could be problematic - I knew I could velcro the iPod to the inside cover of the folder, but I'd then have to flip the pages back to get to it when I wanted to press Play. That was not going to work. So I decided to give my Kindle a try.
Now I've been a Kindle fan for years; I'm a heavy reader and the last time I went overseas I had a significant extra weight charge because of all the books I was carrying. I got my first Kindle for my birthday in 2010 and I haven't looked back. So I knew how to work a Kindle, I felt comfortable with reading from the screen, and I was happy to give it a shot. My original Kindle had buttons at the side to press to move back and forth between pages; my current one is a touch screen, so you tap on the left side of the screen to go back and page, and the right side of the screen to go forward a page.
The big issue was figuring out what size font I needed to save my document in so that when the A4 page of my document shrank to the size of the Kindle screen, it would still be readable! After a bit of trial and error I settled on narrow margins (1.27cm) all around, and 26 point Calibri font at 1.5 spacing. So I prepare the document as usual in Word, print it to PDF, then email the PDF document to my Kindle account email address (which you can find if you go into your Kindle account information online). Lo and behold, the next time I connect my Kindle to wifi, the document downloads, ready to go!
A page of text on my Kindle (sideways, sorry!)
Because the Kindle is so small and fits cradled in one hand, I don't need to rest it against my stomach; I tend to hold it at chest height, so my boobs don't get in the way :)
Kindle fits in my hand
I have a plain black case for my Kindle (it's a responsive one, so when I close the case the Kindle switches off). I know others have gone down the track of getting larger covers that they can fit vow cards and tissues etc in, but I stuff my tissues in my bra (sorry, TMI again!) and give the vow cards to the second groomsman to hold (the best man usually has the rings, so this gives the second groomsman something to do).
I have a Velcro strip on the back of my iPod, and Velcro dots on the left inside cover of the Kindle, and that's my ceremony kit. I can hold it comfortably in one hand, and move the pages back and forth and control the iPod with the other hand. I wear a headset microphone so that I have both hands free for this reason. If there's live music and I'm not needing my iPod, the Kindle comes out of its case and I just hold it and control it with the same hand.
Kindle with iPod attached (upside down, sorry)
Kindle out of its cover
I always have a paper copy of the ceremony with me as well; I like to give the couple a keepsake copy of their ceremony on pretty paper, so that's in my bag if I need it. On the odd occasion when my Kindle threw a hissy fit though, I've just opened up the Dropbox app on my iPhone and read the ceremony from there - I save EVERYTHING in Dropbox, so I can access it from my phone, iPad, or any computer anywhere.
I personally don't like to use an iPad; I've seen many photos of celebrants with an eerie glow on their face from their iPad screen. A Kindle isn't backlit, which makes it easy to read in the sunlight (it's just like reading from paper) and it doesn't shine a light on my face. I also find my Kindle easier to hold onto than my iPad; it's just that bit smaller and more comfortable in my hand. I've also heard far too many horror stories of iPads shutting down in the heat; I've yet to have that happen with my Kindle, although I am careful to keep it out of direct sunlight as much as i can.
(And yes, I've heard the arguments about being able to make edits on the go if you're using an iPad, and about being able to control the music from the same device you're reading your script from. I'm very bossy with my couples and don't allow edits on the day of the ceremony; in over 280 weddings I've only had one wedding where they insisted I add something on the day, and it was minor enough that I could remember it. And for the same reason I didn't want to be flipping pages in my folder, I don't want to be switching between apps to play music and read my ceremony. That's just me though.)
I still use my hard copy folder for funerals, because I don't have to control the music and I always have a lectern to put my folder on, although I am considering trying my iPad at a funeral ceremony or two to see how that goes. Having said that, at burials lately I've been using my Kindle/iPod combo because it's just easier at the graveside rather than dealing with the pages in my folder.
So that's my journey through different tools for reading my ceremony! I hope it's been useful :) (And sorry that I'm so useless with images and some of them are sideways or upside down!)
### How to become the celebrant in the know
Anka asks
I’m wanting to start blogging this year and making myself known as the “celebrant in the know” within my area with some personality thrown in as well but I’m not sure exactly how to start? Any suggestions or topics?
This is another fantastic question Anka, and the answer is simple and complicated at the same time.
You've identified blogging as a possible area for content creation, and I'd encourage you into it as well into other areas that match up with your personality type. If you're a speaker, speak into a podcast, if you thrive on video, make videos, if you love to write, write.
The key isn't the medium, but the message. Make sure your message is one that matters, a message that the community needs to hear. No-one's trawling the web looking for selfish, useless, unhelpful content.
I could talk on this topic for ages, and we will be at the conference on the Gold Coast in August, but between now and then, devour this content deck from Gary Vaynerchuck, it's the real deal.
### Interpreters and translators
Sarita asks:
We’re away at the moment and then the couple in question head away as we get back - so the NOIM will be getting lodged in Jan, with a day to spare. The bride is from China and all her ID is in Chinese. As long as I tell them to get the passport, (birth certificate) & drivers license/ID card interpreted by a NAATI registered interpreter - is that all ok? Just wanted to check I’m not missing anything as it’s my first time doing a marriage that will involve an interpreter.
There are several differing issues in this question, so I'll break them down one by one.
Accepting the NOIM
You can accept a NOIM electronically; they can complete the NOIM, have their signatures witnessed by an appropriate witness (usually a police officer is easiest) and email you a scanned copy. The date you receive the emailed NOIM is the date of lodgement, so you don’t need to wait until you’re both in the same place. As long as you receive the original NOIM before the wedding (even on the day is fine) you’re good to go. If you do accept the NOIM electronically, I suggest getting electronic copies of the passports etc sent through as well so you can ensure there’s no problems with them, remembering that you still of course need to see the originals before the wedding.
Identity documents
A reminder that you only need to see a passport. That covers you for proof of date and place of birth, and for proof of identity. If a party doesn't have a passport, then you need to see a birth certificate (proof of date and place of birth) plus an appropriate form of photo ID (proof of identity).
I know some RTOs are teaching that you need to see at least two forms of identity documentation, but there's absolutely nothing in the Marriage Act or Guidelines to support that. A passport is absolutely sufficient.
Interpretation vs Translation
Written documents are translated from one language to another. Spoken words are interpreted from one language to another. So this question is asking about translation.
The actual answer!
I would be VERY surprised if this bride's passport is not in English, or at least in both a Chinese language and English. I’ve never come across an international passport that didn’t have all the pertinent information in English. If however she for some reason has a strange passport, yes, as long as the celebrant asks her to get it translated by a NAATI registered translator, she'd be good to go.
Now if the bride doesn’t speak very good English, the celebrant may also need to have an interpreter present at the ceremony. If this is the case, remember they will need to complete the Stat Dec and Certificate of Faithful Performance by Interpreter document, which can be found on the AGD website.
### How do I do marriage certificates?
I was just wondering how you all prepare your pretty Form 15s. Does anyone use traditional calligraphy? Hand write? Use a template on a printer?
Julia Hern
I'll answer Julia's question along with a wider explanation of how I prepare all of my paperwork, including the Form 15.
I recently found my original "red book" of marriage certificates whilst packing to move house. I used it five times before I started investigating other means. Around that time I found Ron Hoare's Celebrant Suite (I particularly enjoyed his company name "Byronware" aka By Ron Ware, ware being slang for software). Almost six years on I still use Celebrant Suite and have particularly enjoyed Ivan Conway's addition to the product (Celebrant Connection) with the ability for couples to fill out an online form and then I can import all of their information into Celebrant Suite. When I first started using Celebrant Suite I used the software on a spare Windows laptop and printed the paperwork onto good A4 paper. I kept the celebrant copy (instead of the red book), and mailed the BDM's copy to the BDM. Today my Celebrant Suite use is a little different, so I'll lay down how I manage my paperwork today, and maybe some of these tips can rub off on to your workflow.
Bye bye red book
So step number one is to put the red book away. Retire the book, step out from behind it like the big bold awesome celebrant you are. And now everyone hates me because they love their red book selfies, but I'm cool with that. The thing is, the red book isn't the only way to fulfil that part of our obligation as a marriage celebrant, and the mere fact that you need to pick up a pen to do the work means that we're letting potential errors enter our workflow.
How do I use Celebrant Suite?
My marriage paperwork workflow starts with every single couple being entered into Celebrant Suite, even though for a majority of my couple's today I won't even generate their paperwork in Celebrant Suite. But in my workflow Celebrant Suite is the ultimate keeper of answers to the following:
Who has booked me?
Has the couple competed a NOIM?
When and where is the couple's wedding?
Record of use of Form 15 certificates and printing the certificates (with pretty fonts)
Have I submitted the paperwork to the BDM?
How many weddings did I do this year?
I know that Ron will be horrified when he reads that list, but being a Queensland-based celebrant who works primarily in New South Wales there are too many benefits in me registering my couples marriages directly with the BDM online, plus NSW BDM calls me every time I lodge a marriage the traditional way, just to make sure that I know they have an online system. They won, I got sick of the phone calls. For couples marrying in Queensland or New South Wales I enter the data into Celebrant Suite and the state's BDM online system for double data dexterity (the BDM online systems are far from perfect) and then print the forms from the BDM because that's the most important data point. I need the BDM-entered data to be spelt and typed correctly.
Couples of mine who are not getting married in Queensland or New South Wales, have their marriage paperwork generated in Celebrant Suite, because it's quite simply a really beautiful way of generating and printing their paperwork.
The base premise is that you enter data once and use it many times. So in Celebrant Suite you'll enter the couple's names once and then on every certificate that original spelling is used. I'll even enter the couples details either manually, or via the Celebrant Connection, then export a PDF of their NOIM to send to them just so they can check spelling and typos. No more errors!
Isn't Celebrant Suite a Windows program?
I am a Mac and iPad user, who has a single Windows program to run - and Celebrant Suite is that app. I know there are other web-based programs but I'm not happy with them, and all my data is in Celebrant Suite. So I actually pay 9 cents per hour to rent a Windows computer in the cloud. When I'm not using it I shut it down and it costs me nothing. I can just remote desktop into it from my iPad or Mac, where ever I am in the world. It's quite handy!
Celebrant Suite running on a Windows Server instance in the Alibaba Cloud for 9 cents per hour, being accessing through the Remote Desktop app on my iPad
How do I print/do the paperwork?
"Printing" the paperwork takes on two different meanings here. I personally print as little as I need to, but for most of you, that is, people who aren't asking their couples to sign on iPad, you'll need to print more.
So, if I'm printing paper: In my office I'll print the paperwork from either Celebrant Suite or the BDM online and carry it in my Oroton folio. The BDMs online give you PDFs to print.
My general use case is that I'll export a PDF from Celebrant Suite or BDM online and save it into Notability, my iPad singing app of choice and have the couple sign the paperwork in Notability. The only paper at the marriage ceremony is the Form 15 which the couple takes home.
If it's a NSW wedding I can get home and upload that paperwork directly to BDM, essentially a paperless wedding on my end. In Qld I can upload but I still currently have to print and mail the paperwork as well. In the ACT I can simply email the paperwork in, and in other states I mail it in.
Printing the Form 15
The online BDM's template for printing the Form 15s are pretty ugly, so I still use Celebrant Suite for my Form 15s. Coneria Script is my font of choice (to instal custom fonts onto your iPad, use AnyFont).
If Celebrant Suite is having a bad day, or if I'm too lazy to turn on the virtual machine that runs it, I also have a Apple Pages template which I can manually type the information into. Those templates are available for purchase below.
Form 15 (Marriage Equality Version) Apple Pages template
[purchase_link id="973" text="Purchase" style="button" color="blue"]
Form 15 (Old Version) Apple Pages template
[purchase_link id="974" text="Purchase" style="button" color="blue"]
2020 update
I still stand by everything I wrote in this article, but I wanted to clarify that I've moved 100% to the Apple Pages templates now except for Qld weddings, because the Queensland Form 15 templates from the online BDM are pretty good!
### How I make personal ceremonies
When creating a marriage ceremony, my goal isn't to personalise my ceremony, but to make it personal.
That's a subtle but pointed difference.
Personalising my ceremonies is the act of having existing ceremonies and then changing them to suit the couple. It's the mail merge of ceremonies. And for many celebrants, for many of their packages and price-points, thats' as much work as the couple paying that fee deserve.
But if you're interested in doing work that matters, the kind of work that fills your cup every day, whilst also filling your sales budget and bank account, let me tell you about another way.
I don't personalise my ceremonies, I make my ceremonies personal.
I'll take your through my processes as if I was marrying fictional Jack and Jill today.
I'll sit down before the wedding and think about how I can make Jack and Jill's ceremony personal. What can I do that would make it feel like this ceremony was 100% about Jack and Jill, and not a mail merge ceremony.
What can I say that would give everyone there the idea that I actually know Jack and Jill, and that I care about them?
What can I say to Jack and Jill that would truly encourage them and engage them in the ceremony
You can take those points and go to the extreme, a dangerous place to be. Imagine if you just met Jack at a party, and in an effort to make Jack feel included and special, you call him Jack every 45 seconds for the rest of the night.
Friends don't talk like that, people that know you personally almost always don't call you by your name. They'll call you by cute names, or nicknames.
So in the ceremony I don't begin with the classic line "We are gathered here today to celebrate Jack Daniel Smith and Jill Rebecca Brown's marriage" because that is possibly the most impersonal thing you could say. If everyone at the ceremony doesn't know their name then why are they even there?
Many celebrants personalise their ceremony by including the couple's full story. Which is an easy and comprehensive way of making it all about Jack and Jill.
But I actually don't tell the whole story for four reasons:
I'm assuming everyone there know's the story. With weddings being so small and personal today, it would be weird for strangers to be there.
A common complaint I've heard from couples is that they have heard other celebrants do this and it seems insincere.
I think reading the story off a page is a dead giveaway for a not-personal ceremony.
I'm really bad at reading long passages of text off a page into a microphone.
So if I'm not reading the whole story, but I still have their story, how do I make it personal?
Jack and Jill might have met at the baggage carousel at Nashville Airport, tow kids from Brisbane meeting on the other side of the world in the least friendly of places. So in the ceremony I might say:
"We've come a long way from the baggage carousel in Nashville airport to this little wedding ceremony in Byron Bay, but that's the beauty and oddity of love, is that you find it in the weirdest places, and it doesn't get any more normal along the way!"
So I've referenced their story, but not in a "reading off a page" kind of way, meanwhile I've proven to everyone there and the couple that I care and I listened when they told me that story.
Everyone receives encouragement differently. Some people would prefer a gift, or a cuddle, and some respond better to words than high fives. I always look out for ways in which the couple comfort each other and encourage each other, and use those methods before and during the ceremony to encourage them.
I know that if a guy is a hugger, then a hug before the ceremony will make him feel at home, and he'd probably appreciate a warm slap on the shoulder as his partner comes down the aisle.
If a person is wordy and descriptive in how they explain their love of the other person, I know that a personal affirmation that references something they've done or said in the closing words of the ceremony would really warm their heart.
I believe that subtle references and encouragements, maybe towards pop culture favourites of the couple, or references to personal jokes or cute names, references that most people there would'nt even get will make for a much more personal ceremony that brings rave reviews and referrals.
I know that this style of ceremony isn't what they teach you in Cert IV training, and it's also not the normal kind of ceremony, but I do believe that if you can start making your ceremonies more personal and less personalised that you'll start finding a new well of creativity and joy in your ceremony creation.
### Marketing: if I was starting today
If I was starting as a celebrant today I would do so many things differently.
This article is hopefully timely for our readers, after all it is enquiries season! My rough research tells me that more people are engaged in between Christmas Eve and Valentine's Day than any other period through the year. Many couples engaged last year decide to start planning their wedding "in the new year" which is only days away.
We've also had a number of questions about marketing ourselves as celebrants, from new and existing celebrants, and I wanted to wrap up that conversation into a personal one for me, that will hopefully help you too: if I was starting as a celebrant today, knowing everything I know, what would I do?
You've got to get the foundations right
So many Australians consider the basic foundations of a business to be a logo, a fancy business name, business cards, car signage, name badges, brochures, and a yellow pages listing. But if I was starting today I would have none of them. Today I would consider the basic foundation a celebrant business needs before they start marketing to be: your name, a simple, culturally relevant, informative website, social media accounts that have the same username as your domain name and are branded the same way, an email address at your domain name instead of blahblah@gmail.com, a system for taking enquiries, bookings, and payments, and finally, a purpose. We'll get to that soon.
I'll detail how to get your foundations right first because before anyone enquires you need to be able to process that enquiry, plus I have an expectation that before enquiring with us our couples are doing their due diligence and researching you, finding out what kind of business person you are.
Why no logo or business cards?
In a world where most communication is electronic, and we're trying to use less paper and waste materials less, a paper business card is out of fashion. At expos I'll set up an iPad app so instead of handing a business card I'll send them an email, and at client meetings they've hopefully already got all of my contact details in my emails.
As for logos, they're fine, but distracting. If you're starting fresh today investing the time and engergy into creating your own logo will probably result in an ugly logo if logo design isn't your daily job, and paying for a good one is fine, but I'd rather put that $500 into paid marketing so you can make $5000 then spend the $500 on a good logo.
Your business name
Much like a logo, inventing a cool and fun business name (in my humble opinion) is a distracting exercise on day one. Plus in a world where our couples are being marketing to about 7000 times per day (look around you, at the brand computer you're using to read this, the watch on your hand, the car you can see, there are logos and brands everywhere all day long), I think it is a bridge too far to ask our couples to remember our personal name and our business name. It's double the work.
A basic website
The easy way to identify whether your website is a winner or a failure is to see if you can answer these questions in the first 10 seconds of viewing your website:
Whose website is this?
What do they do?
Where do they do it? (I get it, you do destination weddings, but where do you actually live?)
What does the celebrant look like?
How can this celebrant make my life better? Not just my wedding day, but my life between now and then.
How can I contact you?
Bonus question: Price/package information.
Your website is a failure if you can't answer those first six, and it's definitely a failure if you've only got stock photos of rings, flowers, brides and pretty dresses. Couples are visiting your website to hire a celebrant, not to receive an empty and inauthentic "congratulations!" alongside stock photography.
It's important to remember the purpose of your website, it's your storefront, the place where you are 100% in control of how your brand is perceived. Don't waste this fleeting opportunity.
People visit your website to verify that you're a real person, not a scam or a fake business. Impress them with your "you'ness".
Social media accounts branded the same
I'm not going to detail an all encompassing social media strategy in this article, but if I have your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest pages all in front of me, along with your website, I should be able to tell that they're the same person.
Hopefully you're using the same usernames, display names, and profile photo, and the profile photo isn't the logo of the latest popular awards system, but it's a stunning photo of you and your cake hole showing teeth inside a massive grin.
A professional email address
Your website is hopefully something along the lines of yourname.com.au and I'm hoping and praying that your email account is yourname@yourname.com.au. There are some other clever email addresses like hello@yourname.com.au or info@yourname.com.au and they're awesome, in fact there's room for your to become even cleverer by utilising all of your personality and using janitor@yourname.com.au. Whatever you do, please don't use yourname76xx@hotmail.com. It is a well researched fact that the brand perception of emailing a professional at their yahoo.com or hotmail.com or gmail.com email address is a negative.
Enquiry and booking systems
This is a whole other conversation, but before you start trying for enquiries and bookings you need to be able to receive and act on enquiries and bookings.
I use Dubsado, Sarah uses Tave, others use Studio Ninja and 17Hats, and some craft their own systems. Whatever you do, figure out what that customer journey looks like so when someone responds to your fancy marketing, they don't fall into a pit of no reply.
Pre-marketing research
So you've got the foundations in place, and you're about to spend your first $100, we've just got one last hurdle to complete: your 'why'.
Why are you a celebrant?
Why would people hire you?
What difference do you bring to couples lives?
How can you help them?
There are the other 99% of celebrants who simply advertise the fact that they exist and they cost this much, but you'll be the 1% who have as story to tell. A reason for existing. A purpose for being a celebrant.
Identify the kind of people you would like to marry, and then imagine how you can help them. Write down a bunch of dot points and ideas on how you can be useful to these people and these notes will form the basis of your marketing.
Marketing time
If I was starting today, I would do everything I've just talked about, and then I would start creating content in a way that was natural and fun for me. Here's some places to start thinking about:
If you like to talk, a podcast might be for you (check out Anchor)
If you like to talk and you're not scared of the camera, a video blog might be for you (heard of Youtube? or even Facebook Watch!)
If you're a writer then Medium and your own blog is a good start. You could even pre-write some content that you think other wedding vendors and venues might like to publish and offer it to them.
If you have a knack for answering questions, create a Quaora account and start answering questions in your own flavour on Quora or even Reddit, and build a brand that showcases your expertise and knowledge.
If you're handy with a camera, hit up Instagram and start creating the most valuable content Instagram can take: original content (because everyone else is busy re-posting everyone else's content while you can create your own)
Start creating content that is helpful to people you'd like to hire you. Whether it's recommending other vendors or sharing ideas on writing vows, start being useful.
Then once you are useful, start promoting and cross-promoting that content in places that matter.
So firstly, publish to Anchor, Youtube, or Medium, but then share those links on your own website's blog so that as people research you they see that you're active online.
Then on the platforms that allow it, boost those posts to targeted audiences that match the people you were thinking of earlier.
Rinse, and repeat.
If I was starting today I wouldn't bother with all of the directories and the magazines, I would go straight to the people and prove my worth and value by creating content that is helpful and useful to them.
By backing that content up with paid advertising on the different platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Google, and even on Quora, you're going into uncharted ed territory for celebrants, which is a brave and fruitful place to go. If "every celebrant" is advertising on blah blah weddings.com then that's the last place I want to be. But if I can be useful to my target demographic I've got guaranteed sales plus I'm building a fanbase that will evangelise for me.
If I was starting today I'd stop wasting my money on the maybes and start spending it on reaching real people that are in my target demographic.
And you can too!
### When to provide documentation to couples
Peter asks:
By when in the process must we have given the required documents to the couple?I have been giving the required documents (happily ever..., code of practice, complaint info, etc.) with the engagement letter / quote, however, often I only have an email address at this stage for one party, not both. As I understand it, this doesn’t satisfy the requirements of the act (giving happily ever... effectively to only one party).Upon booking, that’s when I get my now clients to give me their complete contact information. I’ve trialed different methods of getting complete contact info on enquiry but nothing has really been effective.I’m trying to optimise my systems and I don’t want to send more emails in my workflow than I have to, so I was wondering can I send this info at the point of our planning meeting (circa 4 months out) as part of an email that already sits in my workflow rather than at the point of booking?
I give the Code of Practice, complaints procedure, etc as part of my Ceremony Builder Booklet, which they get after they've booked and paid my booking fee (I strongly recommend not giving couples anything until they've actually paid you money). Part of the booking process is for them to give me both of their contact details.
I firmly believe that kind of information needs to be given to them at the time of booking, because it is relevant to the entire process of working with you, not just from the planning meeting onwards. If you send a receipt or anything for their booking fee, that's when I would send that info - they've booked you, they've given you their info, they've paid money, and you're responding by giving them the info they need.
With the Happily Ever blah blah, the Act requires that we give it as close as possible to receiving the NOIM. So that's what I do; when I meet with them three months before their ceremony for planning and NOIM lodgement, that's when I give it to them. If they're both sitting in front of me and they live in the same house, they only get one (despite the new Guidelines suggesting they should get one each - which is not actually a requirement of the Act by my reading of it) because otherwise it's a waste of paper. If I'm only meeting one of them for whatever reason, I email it to the other party.
### Signing two Official Certificates of Marriage electronically
Alison asks:
This might be more of a Josh question because it's about electronic paperwork – or maybe it is for Sarah because of the legal side. I'm performing my very first ceremony tomorrow (hooray!) and I've received permission from the ACT BDM to accept electronic signatures and to submit the paperwork by email. I've watched Josh's video for how to sign the marriage paperwork on an iPad and I'm all set to go.My question is, since I have the electronic paperwork, do I need everyone to sign TWO official marriage certificates (plus the Form 15) after the ceremony, or just the one connected to the DONLIM since I am sending electronically and will retain the digital copy. I can't see any reason to sign two copies of the same digital document, except for the fact the Marriage Act 50(1)(b) says: Where an authorised celebrant solemnises a marriage, the authorised celebrant shall: prepare 2 official certificates of the marriage.
Alison already answered her own question: the Marriage Act requires two certificates, so we must get them to sign two certificates, whether we're doing it electronically or manually. Yes, it feels weird and like a waste of time when doing it electronically, but that's what's required by the Act our work is governed by, so that's what we have to do!
This was confirmed by the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants at the AFCC Conference in July. The Act will eventually catch up with electronic submission, but at this stage everyone must sign two copies of the same document :)
### Sighting identity documentation when the couple isn't together
Precious asks:
I have a couple that I’ve met but they forgot to bring their ID when they signed the NOIM. One of them is available tomorrow to come round with both of their ID, but do I need to see both of them at the same time I see their ID, or can I see partner A and both partner A and Bs ID then?
You need to be able to compare the photo to the person to ensure it’s them. If you can remember what they look like, totally fine to see both IDs without the parties there :)
Also remember there’s no requirement to see the IDs when completing the NOIM as long as you see them before the wedding, so if it’s easier to do it at rehearsal or another meeting or on the wedding day, that’s fine too :)
### These are bad vows, I'm out
Thanks for having us in your ears again! This episode we catch up on what's been going on in both our lives over the past three months, we follow up on a few issues from the last episode, and we chat about what's to come in 2019! Topics covered include:
Josh's baby and new house!Sarah's new training job! talentedtraining.com.aupaying your celebrant registration feemarriage statistics www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/mf/3310.0Dubsado, Tave and Xero
### Lodging marriage paperwork electronically
A celebrant asks:
Hey there.. a question - I've just registered to submit ceremonies online in NSW (I am in Vic). In reading the manual, I discovered you can scan/lodge all official documents ONLINE once the ceremony is over and that's that. I emailed them to ask if that was for real - we don't need to mail the official docs in? They emailed back that is correct and we just file the documents.
Now - that's not what the Act says. Hmmmmm. I don't want to be responsible for holding the originals. I asked a few celebrants who all say they send the docs in as well. One celebrant said he rocked up to NSW BDM to hand the documents in and they flatly refused to take them from him, saying once they are uploaded online there is no need for the BDM to have them.
So I guess they are binning / destroying all the original docs people are sending them, if those same docs have been uploaded online.
I am dying to know: what do you two do when registering a marriage in NSW then uploading the documents? Do you send/destroy/keep the originals?
I don't marry people in NSW, but Victoria will has a similar system now. I will just keep all the originals along with my copy of the Official Certificate of Marriage, but you could also destroy them securely if you didn't want to have the originals on hand.
The Marriage Act doesn't actually say anything about posting the documents to BDM. It says we must "forward" the documents to the appropriate BDM - forward in this case can mean electronically :)
### Different signatures by parties
A celebrant asks:
I have received a Notice of Errors in documentation email from BDM. They have requested the bride provides a stat dec indicating why her signature on the NOIM and Marriage Certificate are different. Is there wording we can provide on the stat dec to assist completion? Can we provide a scanned copy of the stat dec to BDM (or do they need to sight originals)
I don't know how it works in other states, but in Victoria the BDM staff look very carefully at the parties' signatures on all the documents, and if they're not comfortable that they're the same signature, BDM sends the celebrant a Notice of Errors in Documentation email. They ask the celebrant to ask the party to sign a stat dec that they did indeed sign both documents, and provide samples of the signatures they used on the different documents.
I've had this happen twice, and I refuse to do anything until BDM sends me scanned copies of the signatures in question. I want to be able to look at them myself and ensure I think they're different enough (which they always have been for me), and I also want to be able to send them to the party in question to go see, these look different.
Once I've got those from BDM, I draft up the stat dec for them to sign, and send it to them with instructions by email. You can download my email template (first page) and stat dec template (second and third pages) here:
[purchase_link id="918" text="Purchase a template" style="button" color="blue"]
### Starting a business
I have completed my cert 4 at last and am in the process of doing my AG application so now I am thinking about the set up of my business. I have no previous experience in this area and wondering where to start really. Should I be sourcing and / or starting to create a website now ( not go live of course!) do I produce business cards etc, basically when and where is a good time to start if you’re not an expert! Considering it can take up to 3 months to hear back could you suggest a timeline please?
I'm sure every person reading this will have other thoughts about a timeline or about where to go for information; share them in the comments, we want to hear them! But this my experience.
I would probably start with some branding (a business name, a logo, colours you might use etc). Once you have that you can create a business card, then get started on putting together some website content, and work with a website person to design a website. You might like to have a look at some of the downloads available for purchase on the CI website to get you started with a booking form, checklist and ceremony builder booklet; you may choose to update them to fit in with the way you want to run your business.
I'm not sure which state you're in, but most of the state governments have useful guides to starting a small business on their websites. Here's one from the Australian Government: https://www.business.gov.au/guide/starting
Your local council may also have some useful information for you.
Here's the order I did stuff in (from memory):
Talk to lots of other celebrants about what they do and how they do it
Logo / colour scheme
Business card design
Website content
Website design (with an expert designer)
Facebook page (went to a free session on how to do it run by my local council)
Booking form
Ceremony Builder Booklet
Checklist
As soon as my registration came through, I was ready to go because I had all that prep work done.
It is worth remembering however that just because you've received your Cert IV and applied for registration, registration is not automatic; some people's applications are rejected. So you may prefer to wait until your registration has come through before spending too much time and money. That's a decision for each person to make independently.
### Witness signatures, or the one in which Josh and Sarah disagree...
Sometimes (often?) Josh and I disagree on the answer to a question. This was one such time...
Bree asked:
I have a grandparent as a witness this coming Saturday who has a very shaky hand and is apparently really nervous about the signing duties. The poor darling! They are adamant they want him as a witness. Any tips on how to beat / manage this? I think he is worried about people watching him... would it be ok to get him to just sign one document while everyone is watching but then the other two after? Appreciate your advice!
Here's how the email exchange went when we received this question...
Sarah's response:
Hm, tricky one if they're adamant they want him as a witness. I think that's pretty unfair on him, to be honest - it will be making him dread coming to the wedding at all. I would be really pushing them to find someone else.I guess there's nothing to say he can't sign the BDM document and your register after the ceremony is finished and everyone has left the area, but I'm actually not sure if people watching him would be the biggest issue; he's quite possibly concerned about his wonky handwriting making their certificate look bad. I'm afraid I don't have any massive wisdom on this one, apart from trying really hard to talk them into finding another witness! Talk to them about the burden they're putting on him; don't they just want him to enjoy the day and not be worried about having to sign???
Josh's response:
As is my role and want, I’m going to throw a different angle in.Grandpa doesn't have to ink a traditional signature, common law has long held that a signature is not necessarily the writing in of a name, but may be any mark which identifies it as the act of the party.Further to that, here’s an excerpt from the AGD website on witnesses to statutory declarations:"A Commonwealth statutory declaration requires the signature of the person making the declaration (known as 'the declarant') in the presence of an authorised witness. In circumstances where the declarant is unable to sign the declaration, for example where a person ... is unable to read, or has a vision impairment or is blind, or is unable to physically sign the declaration the requirement that the declarant provide their signature will be satisfied if the declarant makes a mark where a signature is required.
"Where the declarant has vision impairment, is blind, or is unable to read, the authorised witness for the document must first ... read the declaration aloud to the person, or cause the document to be read aloud to the person in the authorised witness' presence, and be satisfied that the declarant understood what was read aloud, and certify on the declaration that the declaration was read aloud to the person, andthat the authorised witness is satisfied that the person understood what was read aloud.
"The authorised witness then needs to certify that the mark is that of the declarant by writing next to the mark .... 'I, being the person before whom this statutory declaration is made, certify that this mark was placed by [declarant's full name] on this statutory declaration in my presence.’"
Sarah's response:
But the marriage rules are that witnesses and parties sign with their “usual signature”. If his usual signature is an X, that’s fine. But if his usual signature is a “normal” signature, that’s what he needs to sign with. This guy isn’t actually unable to sign, he just has shaky hands, so that excerpt from the stat dec stuff isn’t really relevant :)
(Yes Bree, Josh and I enjoy arguing with each other!)
Josh's response:
I feel like we’re fighting in front of the kids :)I have no legal wisdom on this - but Sarah's mother probably would ;) - but I’m of the belief that if grandpa wiped the sweat off his brow onto the marriage certificate in acknowledgement of his witnessing the marriage ceremony that a court would uphold that.Also, where’s the database of “usual signatures” *scampers back into my cave*
Sarah's response:
You’re probably right. I concede :)
A lot of the stuff we get questions about is like this; there's no hard and fast rules, just one person's interpretation of the legislation versus another person's interpretation. I'm always happy to give you my interpretation (and Josh will sometimes jump in with his own), but it is important to realise that there's not necessarily one right answer in some circumstances. Sometimes we have to do whatever is most practical and ends up with the best outcome for our clients :)
### Rehearsals - to have them or not to have them?
Sarita asks:
Normally I’d do a rehearsal or rough run through with the couple. I have a couple asking about a rehearsal with the full bridal party.
Would I be ok to say I’d normally just do it with the couple? Or should I go with the flow & do it with everyone?
What do we normally do?
Sarah's response
You'll get a different response on this from every celebrant you ask :) But I'll tell you what I prefer!
I like to have as many people involved in the ceremony as possible attend the rehearsal. I like to meet them, I like to put faces to names, and I like them to know I'm the one in charge on the day. I find the ceremonies where I've run a rehearsal with more of the bridal party than less run much smoother on the day; everyone know where to stand, what to do, how to move between the different sections of the ceremony, and even though of course I'm there to remind them, it's just a bit easier.
But it's really completely up to you! If you prefer to only do them with the couple, that's your call, but I'd probably be inclined to give it a shot with the bridal party to see how it work for you before you make that a rule!
Josh's response
This is one that most celebrants will have a different answer.
I, personally, have never attended a rehearsal that I believe made a wedding better. I find that bridal parties don’t want to be there, the couple have things on and family coming in and everyone wants to catch up, and figuring out where to stand is the least important thing on their mind a day or three before the wedding. And I personally don’t need one, my style works best when everyone is in the moment.
I communicate this to my couples, and couples that like me and book me, also like that they don’t have to have a rehearsal.
I make myself available for one if required of course, because I’m not a complete asshole, but I have opinions :)
And like Sarah said, it is 100% up to you. There’s no law that requires a rehearsal, and you’re the professional here, they’re paying you to know what to do, so exert your expertise and influence and make the rehearsal the best it can be in your belief.
### When a party's recorded sex is different from their gender identity
A celebrant asks:
The groom was born female, and identifies as male. He is male on his passport (that's the doc I saw for ID purposes), but he's just asked me if it poses any problems that his birth certificate lists him as 'female'. I said no, because the changes to the rules have allowed for him to identify as male, so no dramas at all. However, my question is do I need to write a note of explanation in the 'Additional Information to BDM' section online? I know they sometimes cross reference with birth certificates and I don't want to put the groom to any trouble by having to justify his gender. (I'd prefer not to make an issue of it by raising it if I don't have to, but I know BDM can sometimes be a bit heavy-handed and insensitive).
The 2018 Compulsory OPD topic makes it clear that we're not required to verify a person's sex by checking their documentation, and that parties may have very justifiable reasons for having a different recorded sex on their birth certificate/passport than the one they want to record on the NOIM.
For example, a person who identifies as non-binary and therefore would prefer their paperwork to list them as X or similar may want to be able to travel to countries that do not recognise X or non-binary as a sex, and therefore they will leave their passport as M or F.
In the case of birth certificates, every state in Australia currently requires parties to undergo gender affirmation surgery and/or other clinical treatment (for example hormone treatment) before they are able to change the sex on their birth certificate, and not all transgender people want or can afford to undergo such surgery. They can change their passport with just a letter from a doctor, so they do that and leave their birth certificate as is. (If anyone is interested in the requirements to change sex on a birth certificate or passport, I compiled this document in March 2018. Yes, I am a nerd. Please note "unmarried" is being phased out of the eligibility criteria in every state; this must be done by 9 December 2018.)
So no, there are absolutely no problems for him at all re: his birth certificate.
They really should not question this. If he was born in the state the marriage is taking place in, and therefore will be registered in, that's the only way BDM would have access to his birth certificate (which the celebrant hasn't seen, and we're not required to verify his sex anyway). The celebrant should be prepared that depending on who is registering the marriage, they might call them and ask the question. That's the only thing that would happen; they can't not register the marriage on this basis.
### Signing and transferring a NOIM
A celebrant asks:
When I first enrolled in my course, my Dad asked if I'd solemnise his wedding in December 2018. Of course I said I'd be thrilled if I passed and got authorised. I've now completed my Cert IV and applied for registration.
My dad and his fiancée are adamant they want me to do the ceremony (even if it means delaying the proposed December 8 ceremony), so I've asked a celebrant who lives near me to accept the NOIM, so it's easier to transfer it to once I'm registered. My friend has only been a celebrant for a year, so he's never done a transfer or interstate NOIM. I want to make sure I have all the steps correct.
Adding to the complication is that my dad and his fiancée are currently living in different states due to work. Can you tell me if I have all the following steps correct:
1. Party 1 fills in the NOIM and has it signed by a police officer (or other authorised witness)
2. Party 1 posts the physical NOIM to Party 2, and scans or posts photocopies of supporting documentation (in this case an Australian passport)
3. Party 2 fills in the NOIM and has it signed by a police officer (or other authorised witness)
4. Party 2 emails a copy of the NOIM along with scans of all supporting documentation (ie both passports) to Celebrant 1 (my friend) in order to make the deadline
5. Party 2 posts the physical copy of the NOIM to Celebrant 1 via registered post
6. Once Celebrant 2 (me) is registered, Celebrant 1 transfers the NOIM, and makes the appropriate marks on the NOIM
7. Celebrant 2 must bring the physical NOIM to the wedding and witness the supporting documentation (passports) before the ceremony commences
Is that right? Does Celebrant 1 have to witness the physical passports as well? I'm guessing that even though the ACT is accepting scans of documents at the moment (according to what you said on your podcast), because of the need to transfer the NOIM around there will need to be a physical copy.
Also how do you transfer a NOIM? It doesn't seem to specify exactly what you need to do in the Guidelines. I saw you mentioned that the proposed new NOIM has a spot specifically for this, but in the meantime, could you maybe post an example on the CI? Does it need a covering letter?
What about other changes, like a date or venue change? Or is this filled in just before the ceremony? To be honest, I'm also a little confused about when the celebrant is meant to fill in certain sections on the NOIM, because all the exercises in the Cert IV was about handing in the fully completed paperwork.
This celebrant is absolutely on the right track, but I made a few tweaks to the process and responded like this:
I would be inclined to leave out steps 2, 3 and 5. A celebrant can accept a NOIM that is signed by only one party, and they can accept it by email to meet the lodgement timeframe, so to avoid all the posting (and potential losing) of the NOIM, this is what I would do:
Party 1 fills in the NOIM and has their signature witnessed by a police officer or GP (not a pharmacist or physiotherapist; those come up a lot and they're not authorised witnesses).
Party 1 emails a scanned copy of the NOIM along with scans of all supporting documentation (both passports and any divorce or death certificates from previous marriages) to Celebrant 1 to meet the deadline.
Party 1 KEEPS the original NOIM, with instructions to bring it to the wedding.
Once Celebrant 2 is registered, Celebrant 1 transfers the emailed copy of the NOIM by forwarding Celebrant 2 the email he received from Party 1, and stating in the email that he's transferring it to Celebrant 2.
At the wedding, Celebrant 2 receives the original hard copy NOIM from Party 1, has Party 2 sign it, sights the original supporting documentation, and has both parties sign the DONLIM before the ceremony (of course this could be done on the day before etc if you're going to see them before the day). Celebrant 2 would need to write on the original hard copy in the "date notice received by celebrant" box the date Celebrant 1 received the email with the signed NOIM attached, not the date Celebrant 2 received the original hard copy.
Celebrant 1 does not need to sight the original supporting documentation if they're not doing the marrying; it's just good practice for them to look at the docs when the NOIM is received to make sure there's nothing wrong with them or missing that might need to be followed up before the wedding.
Don't trust me on the ACT receiving scanned copies of the documents; I saw a screenshot of an email on Facebook, I didn't receive the email myself, so make sure you check with ACT BDM once you're registered about how they want you to submit documents.
In terms of transferring the NOIM, there's actually no process at the moment, but in this case Celebrant 1 can do it electronically because that's how he's received it. If he had received the hard copy, really all that needs to happen is that when Celebrant 2 receives it, they write in the blank space on page 4 (under the section for recording details of divorce/death certificates) "Transferred from [Celebrant 1 Name] to Celebrant 2 Name], received on [Date]". Don't worry at all about covering letters, BDMs hate them. They generally don't really care too much about transfers, as long as the document is legible and legal, it's all good.
The box on page 3 with date and venue recorded is For Celebrant's Use only; many people don't fill in that box at all. If there are any changes to the date or venue you can just cross them out and write in the new details, or you can leave it as is.
Everything needs to be filled in before the ceremony except the following information on page 4:
Rites used
Date marriage solemnised
Place marriage solemnised
Celebrant's number
Celebrant's signature
That stuff is all to be completed after the ceremony. There's a handy checklist in the back of your Guidelines that tells you what needs to be completed when, so it might be useful for you to print out a few copies of that and put them in each of your client files :) The new NOIM actually has different sections on it, clearly marked "Before the ceremony" and "After the ceremony", so that will be much easier to use.
### Cost to register a marriage?
A celebrant asks:
Does each state charge different fees to submit completed marriage docs? I've got weddings in NSW, SA and VIC coming up and I can't find any details on costs associated with registering the paperwork?
The reason this lovely new celebrant can't find any information on costs associated with registering the paperwork is that there aren't any! This is one thing that actually doesn't cost celebrants anything at all; we just post the paperwork in to the appropriate Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, and they register the marriage (unless of course you're in a state that accepts digital uploads of paperwork, but it still doesn't cost anything). Yay for free stuff!
### Sighting identity documents from parties living interstate or overseas
A celebrant asks:
I have a question about sighting ID when the Celebrant and marrying couple are in different states. I have a number of family and friends in other states that have asked me to perform their ceremonies for them, which is super exciting. The question I have is, how do you manage the sighting of the ID in these cases? What do you guys do in this instance?
I ask people from interstate or overseas to email me a scan or photo of their ID when they email me their NOIM, so I can make sure there are no problems with it. Then I get them to bring the originals to the rehearsal or the wedding so I can sight the real ones! Easy as that. Don’t overthink it :)
I've previously written about this issue from a slightly different angle when I've talked about the process for Prospective Marriage Visas.
### Documents translated by overseas services
Alice asks:
I'm lodging a NOIM for a couple where the bride is Japanese. She has a passport (which is in English), but Japanese passports do not include place of birth, so I'll also have to use her birth certificate (which is in Japanese). She already has a translation of her birth certificate from the American Translator's Association from 2016. Does she need to get another from a NAATI-accredited translator or will her ATA translation suffice? The guidelines state that "The Marriage Regulations do not require translations to be provided by an accredited translator, except where a person consenting to a minor’s marriage gives a consent that is not in English" but they also state "When a party to a marriage produces a document in a language other than English, the celebrant (even if they can read and write in that language) should ask the couple to seek an official NAATI certified translation of the document."
I did not know Japanese passports don't include place of birth, so thanks to Alice for teaching me something! Alice is right that she'll need to use the bride's birth certificate, and the translation she has from ATA is absolutely fine to use.
We (I) argued this year when the draft Guidelines were released that parties shouldn't have to go to the expense of obtaining a NAATI translation when they already had a perfectly good translation provided by an organisation of equal standing in another country. That's why they amended the Guidelines to read should ask for a NAATI translation (rather than must), and confirmed that a NAATI translation is not required by the Regs or the Act.
So Alice would be absolutely fine to rely on the translation by the American Translator's Association. Yay!
### Correcting errors on the NOIM
Bree asks:
Some of my parties have completed their NOIMs ready for our meeting and for me to witness. I have noticed as I have gone to log them into BDM that there are certain things I am concerned about as follows:
- Use of blue pen for signatures- Using 'JAN' and 'FEB' in birthdates instead of '01' and '02'- The selection boxes that we normally mark X are not in one of the printed NOIMs, so they have circled the word instead e.g. Groom / Bride / Partner
And then one error of my own, COMPLETELY the wrong date under my witness signature - just the first number. Can I cross out and write the correct number above, or will this not be accepted?
There are two questions in one here.
The first is about stylistic issues in completing the NOIM, and I'm very happy to assure you all that literally none of the things mentioned here matter: it doesn't matter if blue pen is used for signatures (I complete all my NOIMs in blue); it doesn't matter if the birth month is spelt out rather than a number; and it doesn't matter if the description of the party is circled because the tick boxes haven't printed out (my tick boxes only print about 50% of the time, so I'm often circling; I have no idea why this happens). So those are all good.
In terms of a mistake in a number on the date of a signature, it should just be corrected in the same manner as any other error on the NOIM: by crossing it out, writing in the correct information, and initialling it (these corrections can only be made BEFORE the marriage is solemnised). See p43 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
### Changing first (or middle) names after marriage
[MM_Access_Decision access='false']§ MEMBERS ONLY CONTENT
Klara asks:
I have a couple where one of them wants to change their first name (well, actually drop their first name and take on their middle name) and wondering if this can be done using the marriage certificate or if they'll need to apply separately to BDM for this bit?
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[/MM_Access_Decision][MM_Access_Decision access='true']§ MEMBERS SECTION
Klara asks:
I have a couple where one of them wants to change their first name (well, actually drop their first name and take on their middle name) and wondering if this can be done using the marriage certificate or if they'll need to apply separately to BDM for this bit?
This is a pretty quick answer: they definitely need to change their first name through BDM :) Only surnames can be changed by usage by using a marriage certificate, and the only change can be to add a spouse's name (either hyphenated or not) or take it on in place of a current surname. Any other changes to names need to be through a formal change of name process through BDM in the state in which the party was born.
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### Insuring your PA system
Ella asks:
I’ve purchased my PA systems and equipment because this isn’t covered under my home contents as it’s business use. Most home insurers will find a way not to pay if I did try to claim if something happened! (Previous industry knowledge). Who do you use for insurance on your equipment? As my other insurance is the association group on - can’t just add it on it.
Firstly, excellent work for thinking of this; most celebrants don't, or assume it's going to be covered under their home insurance.
I now have my own insurance policy because of the training work I do. and it includes equipment insurance.
However when I was relying on the AFCC policy for public liability and professional indemnity insurance (which I encourage every celebrant to have), I contacted the insurance broker they use (Focus Insurance) and organised my own equipment insurance through them directly.
Alternatively Duck for Cover also has equipment insurance.
### Scheduling multiple ceremonies in a day
Sean asks
"Do you have any advice on taking multiple bookings in a day? Accounting for travel time of course what's the minimum amount of time you leave yourself in between ceremonies, and is this something you discuss with your couples at all?"
Josh's response
This question needs some context around what we consider a booking. When I take a 3pm booking, I block off 2pm to 4pm in my calendar, then I block off the travel time either side of that.
So for a 3pm ceremony I schedule myself to arrive an hour before hand, I like to be all set up before any guests arrive. My audio and video gear takes under 15 minutes to set up, so the rest of the time is just being present so no-one is wondering if I'm there and I have some time to prepare myself and get in the zone.
Plus being there an hour early gives me 60 minutes of error time. I like to have as much "oh shit" time up my sleeve as possible simply because we've all sat through a traffic jam, or had to change a tyre.
For the 3pm ceremony I am roughly expecting that people getting married would be there between 3pm and 3:15pm, my ceremony plus any walking in and walking out, plus signing the paperwork, takes under 30 minutes, and there's 15 minutes at the end of the hour to pack up, say thank you, and graciously move on.
The odd wedding sees the 60 minutes allocated expand to 70 or 75, but that's extremely rare.
I'll schedule other weddings or meetings on the same day, with the same scheduling allowances, if it fits. So if there was another wedding nearby the first, maybe 10-15 minutes drive, I'd happily take that ceremony for 1pm or 5pm.
I do communicate to my couples about the other bookings, firstly because I use it to encourage the deal on me MCing the reception, I let them know that another a couple is looking at booking me and before they did I wanted to a) confirm the ceremony time again (because it seemingly changes more than I'd care to imagine) and b) to make sure they know that I'll be out the door at 4pm (for example) and if that was going to be a problem we could talk about it today.
Contractually, this is how I communicate my commitment to their ceremony time:
3.2. In providing the Services, the Couple acknowledge and agree that Josh Withers is only required to attend at the Ceremony for a minimum of one (1) hour and a maximum of two (2) hours unless otherwise agreed in writing.3.3. Subject to clause 3.2, Josh Withers will endeavour to attend at the Ceremony at least thirty (30) minutes prior to the Ceremony Time and will leave no earlier than thirty (30) minutes following the Ceremony Time.3.4. Josh Withers reserves the right to leave the Ceremony thirty (30) minutes after the Ceremony Time stated in the Contract if both or either of the Couple have not arrived or the Ceremony cannot proceed for any reason outside of Josh Withers’ control. In these circumstances, the Couple forfeit all monies paid to Josh Withers.
You'll note that my contractual commitment is low, but my delivered commitment is high. I aim to always under promise and over deliver.
Sarah's response
My general policy is no less than four hours between bookings: one hour for the first bride to be late, one hour for the ceremony, one hour to drive to the next location, to be there one hour before the next ceremony. Of course if the drive is less than an hour, I take that time off.
I've heard way too many stories of celebrants taking bookings too close together and being VERY lucky that the first wedding has run to time. It's too risky and it would make me too anxious, so I build in plenty of additional time.
I don't discuss this with my clients. I'm running a business, and I reserve the right to take as many bookings as I see fit. I have a term in my contract about if they're half an hour late I reserve the right to go to my next booking, but it hasn't happened yet :)
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### Remarkable
Every few weeks contractors hit my suburb with a vengeance, lawn mowers, whipper snippers, blowers, the lot and for the next week the grass is low, but the streets are dirty.
Everyone knows they’ve visited, and all of us residents have mixed feelings about it because although they did the job they were asked to do, they left our homes messier than before. We are all able to remark on the mess they’ve left our suburb in.
Doing the job is one thing, leaving the place better than you found it is another, and delivering excellence where you do the job beyond expectations plus you left the wedding in a better place than anyone could have imagined should be the goal.
Delivering excellence is a remarkable action, an action that can be remarked on, that the people who witnessed it are able to remark on it.
We often think of our couples being able to remark on our excellence, and I hope they can, but I wonder what the family though? How can the guests remark on your efforts? Did the videographer leave the ceremony feeling blessed? Was the photographer enabled to make better photos because of your excellence?
This is the kind of work I want to create as a marriage celebrant: remarkable excellent work. That all who were there are able to remark of me well.
I hope you do the same.
### How to sign marriage paperwork on an iPad
I've had a few people ask how I sign marriage paperwork on an iPad, and I had the grandest of intentions of preparing a fully professional video detailing that. However we're expecting a baby any day now and I figured a low quality video with high quality information is better than no video at all.
Enjoy!
In this tutorial I'm using a MacBook Pro, and Apple iPad Pro with Apple Pencil, and the Mac and iOS versions of Notability. The hardware and software may be able to be changed up for your own equipment.
### New draft NOIM. Sarah’s thoughts
Hopefully all registered celebrants received an email from the Attorney General’s Department on 27 September 2018, inviting feedback on a new version of the Notice of Intended Marriage.
Anyone who’s listened to me talk at OPD or been following the podcast for a while will know that the MLCS has been working on the current review of the marriage forms since January 2015. I remember responding to a request for feedback way back then, and then we heard nothing. In April 2017 MLCS released a new version of all the marriage forms to the Associations for comment, and I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to give my feedback on those through one of my association contacts. Then again, nothing. We hoped they were biding their time until marriage equality became a thing, and that they would release the new forms at the same time as the update for marriage equality, but December 2017 came and went, and still nothing.
When I was at the AFCC Conference in July 2018, the Registrar of Marriages spoke to us and said that they were about to release a new version, but they’d been arguing with the BDMs for some time about how much information actually needed to be collected by the forms, so that was the current hold-up. She said the MLCS’s view was that any information not specifically required by the Marriage Act should NOT be included on the marriage documentation. That meant anything about the parties’ occupations and address, how long they’d been in Australia, their parents’ names and countries of birth, and details of their previous marriages (apart from information about the termination of the most recent marriage) would not be included if MLCS had their way.
Naturally the BDMs were arguing the toss about this. They view marriage paperwork as an important addition to family history and genealogy. That was the sticking point, and the argument had allegedly been going on for 18 months.
Suddenly, on 27 September, out came this new version of the NOIM, and it appears that MLCS won the argument! All extraneous information has been completely removed from the form, and we believe this will filter on to the DONLIM and the Certificates of Marriage; any information not required by the NOIM will no longer be required by the other marriage documentation either. So let’s have a look at exactly what information is required by the current NOIM, and what will be required if the draft NOIM is accepted.
Current NOIM
New draft NOIM
Page 3
Page 1
Name and address of celebrant
For celebrant use
For celebrant use
Time
Name of parties
Day of week
Time
Date
Date (day, month, year)
Location
Location
Page 3
Parties' information
Parties' information
Description of party (Groom, Bride, Partner)
Surname
Surname
Given names
Given names
Sex (Male, Female, X)
Gender (Male, Female, Non-Binary) - optional
Usual occupation
Usual place of residence
Conjugal status (never validly married, widowed, divorced)
Conjugal status (tick boxes for never validly married, surviving spouse, divorced, divorce pending)
Birthplace
Birthplace
Date of birth
Date of birth
Total period of residence in Australia
Father's name
Mother's maiden name
Father's country of birth
Mother's country of birth
Previous marriage information
Number of previous marriages
Year of each previous marriage ceremony
Number of children of the previous marriage/s
Year of birth of each of those children
How LAST marriage terminated (death, divorce, nullity)
Date last marriage terminated
Date last marriage ended (moved to p4)
Are the parties related to each other?
Are the parties related?
Statement: "I have read this form's privacy notice and instructions for completion and hereby give notice of my intended marriage"
Signature of parties
Signature of parties
Full name of witness
Signature of witness
Qualification
Qualification
Signature of witness
Date
Date
Page 4
Page 4
Date notice received by celebrant
Date notice received
Rites used
Rites used (moved to bottom of p4, in a post-ceremony completion section)
Date marriage solemnised
Marriage solemnised on (moved to bottom of p4)
Place marriage solemnised
At (moved to bottom of p4)
Birth certificate(s) produced
Evidence of date and place of birth (tick boxes for birth certificate, Aus passport, overseas passport, stat dec)
Birth certificate registration number
Document number (if any)
Statutory declaration(s)
Identity confirmed
Passport(s) produced
Type of ID document provided (space to write document type)
Pasport number
Document number (if any)
Current drivers licence produced
State/territory/country of issue (to be filled in re identity document, i.e. passport or licence etc)
Drivers licence number
Current proof of age card or evidence of age card produced
Proof of age card or evidence of age card number
Current identification card displaying cardholder's photograph produced
Type of identification card
Number of identification card
Evidence of death, nullity or dissolution
Evidence sighted confirming how last marriage ended (tick boxes for death, nullity, divorce, not applicable)
Death certificate number
If dissolution or nullity, insert Court location
Court location (if divorce or nullity)
For marriage of a party under 18 years (tick boxes for consents received, court approval)
If a party is under 18 years (tick boxes for consents received, court approval)
Authority for marriage despite late notice (tick box for not applicable)
Authority for marriage despite late notice (tick box for authority given)
Have you given the document referred to in subsection 42(5A) of the Act to the parties?
Document referred to in subsection 42(5a) of the Act provided to the parties
Celebrant's number
Signature of celebrant
Celebrant's signature
Celebrant's authorisation number
Transfer of Notice of Intended Marriage to another celebrant
Name of new celebrant
Date of transfer
Statement to tick: "I confirm that in receiving this Notice, I am satisfied that the reasons for transfer are in accordance with s42(6) of the Marriage Act 1961"
See all those blank boxes in the new draft NOIM column? That's where information that was asked by the previous form is NO LONGER REQUIRED.
The new form is much, much simpler and easier to complete.
It removes a LOT of the angst we get from couples currently about parents' names: "my father is abusive and I don't want him listed on my documents; I never knew my mum and my step-mum raised me, so can I list her on my documents instead?"
When these documents were first developed, people probably stayed in one occupation and at one address for most of their lives. That information made up part of their identity. This is no longer the case, so the marriage documentation only provides that information at a single moment in time, therefore not being very useful for family history purposes.
I don't give much credence to the family history arguments. Any information about parents' names and places of birth can be found on birth and death certificates. The only information the marriage certificate needs to provide is who got married to whom, when and where. Everything else can be found through other means. If someone has a good argument for me about why this info should be on the marriage certificates when it can be found in other places, I'm all ears!
I'm all for this version of the NOIM, and the versions of the DONLIM and OCM that will likely fall out of them. Here's hoping that come 1 January 2019 we'll have new forms to play with :)
### My disappointment every car service
Every time my car gets serviced, at 10,000km a service that's about four to five times a year, I have this sinking feeling as I drive away from the mechanic's workshop. After spending six odd hours away from me, and an average of $500 to $700 invoice, the car I drive away in feels pretty much the same as I brought to the workshop that morning at 8am.
I know that a regular service shouldn't really impact my car's drive or feel, and I'm not paying them to clean the car, but after spending the morning with a mechanic and my credit card being $700 poorer my gut tells me that the car should feel different.
There's this disconnect between my intellectual mind that knows that the service is important and holds value, and my emotional side that can't "feel" the service.
I wonder how much this plays out in other businesses, like in weddings, where we charge a certain amount for a service and a lot of that preparation happens behind closed doors. I wonder if our clients question what they get versus what they pay for?
When it comes to my car being serviced it's up to me to recognise the value of a service and just get over it, but I wonder if they cleaned the car - a completely unnecessary service for a mechanic to provide - if I would walk away feeling better.
It's partly for this reason I provide a the best quality PA speaker system and a high definition video recording of the ceremony in my packages. Both things I can already provide at no extra cost to me, and minimal extra effort on my behalf, but the couple feels an increase in value. Not only does it feel better, it actually makes the wedding better, and if the couple don't have budget for a videographer they do get a good quality video of their ceremony and vows.
I wonder how else we can bridge that gap?
Don't forget as well, merely adding value doesn't make it valuable, your client needs to feel its value.
### Beginners guide to not getting hacked
Reading the news today I realised that after Kristy Merlino’s email and Mailchimp accounts were hacked, that Kanye West’s iPhone passcode is 00000 and that Facebook doesn’t care about your privacy - it might be possible that other people aren’t 1) as passionate about Internet privacy and security as I am, 2) and even if they were, they might not know how to protect themselves.
Why should you care
If you don’t value your personal privacy, then anything I write won’t convince you otherwise, but there are three reasons you should value your business data security.
The Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants, section 5 part (c) requires you to keep “facilities for the secure storage of records” which is more related to digital data security than it is to a filing cabinet these days.
Federal law requires you to “Protect personal information from theft, misuse, interference, loss, unauthorised access, modification, and disclosure.” You are also required to “take reasonable steps to destroy or de-identify personal information when it is no longer needed for any purpose permitted under the Privacy Act 1988. This might include shredding documents or storing them in a secure area.”
Even if the Marriage Law section of the AGD office skips you, and the Australian Federal Police decide to leave you alone, you’re at risk at looking silly (screenshot). And second to obeying the law, having a good reputation is paramount to a successful business in this era.
How do you protect your business’ data?
Answering this question truthfully and to the full extent it deserves will take a lifetime, but here’s some starter ideas that you can take home, chew on, and hopefully implement.
1. Passwords
You probably have a bad password
There is only one kind of good password: a unique password.
I don’t care how advanced, fancy, and awesome your current password strategy is, if all of your passwords are the same word, or the same word with a differentiator like a number, a capital letter, or the name of the website, then you have a bad password.
There’s an extremely simple reason behind this strategy of having unique passwords. Every day other businesses, websites, and companies are hacked, and those companies may have data and information on you. Worse, if they are a company you created a user account with, they have your password and username, so when that company is hacked, those hackers now know your password.
If you’re curious as to how many hackers possibly have your personal private data, usernames, credit card numbers, passwords, and phone numbers, enter your email address into this website: https://haveibeenpwned.com. “Have I Been Pwned” is an Australian operated legitimate website that matches your email address against known hacks. “Pwned” is slang for “owned” meaning that someone owns you.
If I know your email password, does that mean I can access your online banking and your Facebook too?
I can’t remember all the passwords!
So if every website, service, and account has a different password you’ll never remember them all will you? So that’s what you need a password manager for. An app that is a secure vault of all of your unique passwords. I personally use 1Password. 1Password can generate random passwords so each place you need a password has a unique password and when that place is hacked, the hackers only have that unique password, not your top secret password you use everywhere.
There are other free password managers, but I like paying for my password manager for the same reason I liked using paid-for antivirus: I wouldn’t hire a free security guard. If I pay for it I can trust it. I pay for a 1Password business subscription so that Britt and I can share our passwords with each other. The 1Password app is on all of your Mac, Windows computer, Android, and iOS devices - even the Apple Watch - so you can access your secure password vault everywhere. I’ve even started storing all of our personal details like Passports, Medicare Cards, and Credit Cards in there so we can access them any time.
2. Two-step authentication
Many services today offer two-step authentication, which simply means that there are two steps to authenticate you. If the service only asks for a password that is one step, but if it asks for a password and an SMS code that’s two step. You’ve probably already experienced this with your bank.
Identify your most important services and make sure that if two-step authentication is available, that you enable it and use it.
My most important services are
my email, firstly because that’s all of my conversations but also how you can authenticate me if I’ve forgotten my password
my mobile phone account, because that’s the first point of call for most hackers, they’ll steal your number so they can then steal your two-step authentication codes and your “forgot your password” codes
my Apple ID, because that secures my three main computing devices, my Macbook, my iPad and my iPhone. If you can access those devices, you can access everything, plus that Apple ID contains backups of all of those devices, plus it has my Apple Pay and credit card information
my Dropbox account because that’s my “filing cabinet”
my online banking details, because money
my Paypal account, because money
my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts because those three places comprise my “online identity” and if that is compromised a hacker could claim falsehoods as true and maybe ask you guys for help or money
For all of those services I am doubly sure that I have a two step authentication method and a unique password for each, I like the 1Password “three word” style of password for the same reason this XKCD web comic likes them.
If nothing else, please, for the love of God, just do this, if nothing else.
Pathways to accessing your data
Good passwords and two-step authentication are important, but if a bad actor or hacker can simply walk up to your computer and access everything then you’ve already lost.
Mobile devices
If you have an iPhone or iPad, is your passcode less discoverable than five zeros? I actually made mine a word, because I didn’t want people to be able to watch my number passcode over my shoulder. On the same device, have you activated FaceID or TouchID? If you have a good passcode and FaceID or TouchID enabled, not even the FBI can access that device. This is the main reason I use Apple devices, for their security detail. If you have a new Android phone on the latest operating system, it very likely is very secure, but most Android phones don’t receive regular security updates so if it’s more than a year or two old it’s likely that the phone is insecure.
Desktop or laptop computer
Is the login password to your computer easy to guess? My father-in-law’s desktop computer password used to be his name with a capital first letter. Second to the password for your user account, are the other user accounts also secure? Is there a guest account that can access the computer without a password?
An often forgotten security tip on the more traditional form of computers is hard drive security. The computer might be secure, but can I take the hard drive out and put it into my computer and simply access all the data? On a Mac go to “System Preferences” then “Security and Privacy” and “FileVault” and make suer FileVault is turned on. On your Windows computer go to search and enter “manage Bitlocker” and enable it there.
External disks, USB sticks, CDs, DVDs
Do you have important and private business data on a USB stick, or a backup drive, just sitting on your desk? For a data thief that’s barely called hacking, it’s just simply taking advantage of a silly person.
Trust no-one
Every day I find emails and social media posts from friends and family that have had their email or social media compromised, and the number one culprit is trust.
They’ll receive an email that seems legit, or read a Facebook post which must be true. That direct message which claims to have information it can use against you to expose your embarrassing secret life or a lie about how you’ve already been hacked.
Learn how to identify which emails, messages, phone calls, and direct messages you can trust.
Look at the email address it’s coming from, does it seem real like josh@anz.com.au or is it something tricky like josh@anzbankofaustralia.com
Think about who is sending the message, click on their profile and see if they look trustworthy
If it’s a Facebook page with a too-good-to-be-true competition or offer, firstly, it probably is too good to be true, but secondly, look at the page and maybe it’s weird that Jetstar’s facebook page has a weird full stop at the end of the page name and it only has 2000 fans.
If an email is asking you to log on and confirm details it’s most likely false.
Almost nothing good comes via a phone call today, if it’s actually important the authority will send you a written letter or email.
Follow your gut
In the end you need to develop a gut instinct for what’s good and bad. Recently I followed this instinct on leaving Gsuite, Google’s email and business services product. Most of us have our email and calendar hosted by Google’s Gsuite for $5 a month but over the past year I’ve started to develop a distrust for Google as a company. I don’t trust them with my personal data, my business data, nor do I trust that they are doing the best things with that data.
So I’ve followed my gut and moved all of my email to Fastmail (10% off if you follow this link).
I’m not going to advocate for you to follow me and do the same, but read the news, read the tech articles, develop a gut instinct for who to trust, and who to ignore. This is your business and you are storing your own and your client’s private data (think of all the marriage paperwork you have with all that private information) and if your systems are compromised the law and the court of public opinion will hold you to account.
### Old marketing versus new marketing, example 503,000,091
Old marketing would put the right message in the right place so the right people would find it. The celebrant would advertise in the wedding magazine because people having weddings bought wedding magazines. The tools were at the tool shop so people who needed tools would know where to buy them. The cheap services were advertised where cheap people shopped, and expensive services were advertised where people with too much money shopped.
New marketing requires you to be found, to be stumbled across. For someone to tell someone else “look over there” and when they do, they’re pleasantly surprised as they find an opportunity to invest some of their money in something that resonates with their worldview, their needs, and their wants. New marketing is about aligning stories, creating serendipity, wonder, and aww. New marketing is a long term investment with even longer term gains.
New marketing isn’t about price, it’s about value, identity, authenticity, vulnerability, and care.
### Evidence required for a change of name by marriage
A celebrant asks:
Groom previously married - all documents are satisfactory. Bride previously married - Has returned to her maiden name. Provides Passport in maiden name & Driver's Licence in maiden name but divorce papers are in married name. Is a stat dec required?
The simple answer to the question here is that no, a stat dec is not required. But the chain of evidence that we should see is a bit more complex than most celebrants realise.
If a party to a marriage was previously married, and adopted their spouse’s name by marriage, their divorce documentation will be issued in their married name, because that’s the name they were using when they applied for the divorce.
This causes a problem in the chain of evidence for a celebrant for the next marriage. We would usually see:
A birth certificate for proof of date and place of birth. The birth certificate will be in the name of (for example) Jane Smith.A divorce certificate to show the party is free to marry. The divorce certificate will be in the name of Jane Brown.A form of photo ID to show the link between the documentation and the person sitting in front of us. The photo ID will either be in Jane Smith (so shows the link between the person sitting in front of us and the birth certificate) or Jane Brown (so shows the link between the person sitting in front of us and the divorce certificate).
Given the birth certificate and the divorce certificate are in different names, and the photo ID will be in one name or the other but not both, how do we know that both documents belong to the person sitting in front of us?
The only way to know is if we see an additional document: the original marriage certificate. The marriage certificate will show that Jane Smith married Tim Brown, so we can infer that she took her husband’s name and became Jane Brown. So the full chain of documents required is:
Birth certificate in Jane SmithMarriage certificate showing Jane Smith married Tim BrownDivorce certificate showing Jane Brown divorced Tim BrownPhoto ID in Jane Brown to show the divorce certificate belongs to the person sitting in front of you (or in Jane Smith to show the birth certificate belongs to the person sitting in front of you).
Few celebrants think to ask a party to bring their marriage certificate to show them, but the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018 do require that we sight this full chain of evidence before the marriage takes place (see the case study on pages 57-58).
### Change of name and identity documents
Sean asks:
Bride has officially changed her name. Has new birth certificate with new name on it. Her passport still has her old name on it. Can I accept her passport as photo ID for completion of NOIM?
I’ve written before about what to do if the names differ on the documents used for date and place of birth (e.g. birth certificate) and for proof of identity (e.g. driver’s licence). However in the previous post, the party had changed her name by usage (and therefore had a driver’s licence in her new name) but never bothered to change it formally (so didn’t have a birth certificate in her new name). This situation is the other way around.
This bride is in a much simpler position. She’s changed her name formally and therefore has a new birth certificate or change of name certificate, she just hasn’t gotten around to changing the name on her photo ID yet. Understandably, she was reluctant to pay to change the name on her licence given she would want to change it again after the wedding when she planned to take her husband’s name by marriage.
However in this case, there is a simple solution. First, a reminder of why we are sighting photo ID at all. The Marriage Act 1961 requires celebrants to see a birth certificate or passport as proof of the party’s date and place of birth. If the document shown to you is a birth certificate, how do you know it belongs to the person sitting in front of you (i.e. how do you satisfy yourself as to their identity, as required by the Act)? The easiest way is to see a form of photo ID with the same name as the birth certificate, and a photo of the person sitting in front of you.
When you change your name legally through Births, Deaths and Marriages, you are issued with a new birth certificate (if you were born in Australia) or a change of name certificate (if you were born overseas), “showing your name at birth and your new name. A history of the changes will also be shown on the back of the certificate.”
Therefore, the document that Sean’s bride shows him to prove her date and place of birth (her new birth certificate), will show her name at birth (which presumably is the one on her passport and driver’s licence) and her new name (which is the one she wants to use on her marriage paperwork). As long as Sean can match the photo ID with one of the names on her birth certificate, he’s good to go!
### Dissolving a registered relationship
Charis asks:
My client has registered a relationship. She was never married but registered a relationship with BDM. They told her she could not get married until this is cancelled by them. Do I record this info anywhere? She has never been validly married so I feel as though she write that on the NOIM and then I record the info about her registered relationship on page four?
This is an issue that gets far more attention from celebrants than it deserves, mainly because the people on the phones at BDM usually don’t know what they’re talking about. Let me explain.
Every state and territory in Australia (except for the Northern Territory and Western Australia) provides the facility for couples to register a relationship (sometimes called a civil partnership or civil union) through the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages. Before marriage equality, this was really the only way same sex couples were able to put any kind of formal legal status on their relationship (yes, after a certain period of time they would qualify as a de facto couple, but that was harder to prove than having a certificate of a registered relationship). But it wasn’t only same sex couples who used this facility; some couple don’t believe in marriage, but wanted the (albeit limited and State-based) legal protections offered by registering their relationship with the State Government. So there are many couples who will have registered their relationship with a State BDM, and who have now decided they want to marry.
These registered relationships have absolutely no bearing on marriage as provided for under the Marriage Act 1961. For the purposes of getting married under the Marriage Act, people who have registered a relationship have never been married (because they haven’t) so their Conjugal Status is Never Validly Married. There is also no need to record the information about the registered relationship on the NOIM.
In terms of whether or not these relationships need to be formally dissolved before a marriage can be entered into, the simple answer is generally no. Before I started writing this article I knew for a fact that was correct in Queensland, Victoria and the Australian Capital Territory, but for the purposes of this post I’ve looked it up for every other state as well. Below I’ve provided direct quotes from the websites of every BDM in the country about the requirements for dissolving a registered relationship. Ultimately, you’ll see that in most states and territories the registration is automatically cancelled if a party to it dies or gets married, but in a couple of states celebrants will need to double check with BDM staff.
Victoria
The death of either party or the marriage of either party in the registered relationship (to each other or another person) will automatically revoke the registered relationship.
New South Wales
Registration of a relationship may also be revoked by law on the death or marriage of a person in the relationship.
(Granted, this one is a little more ambiguous, it doens’t have the word automatically in it, but having read all the other information on the website, I’m confident that nothing needs to be done if one or both parties want to get married.)
Australian Capital Territory - civil partnership
A civil partnership is terminated upon the death or marriage of either party.
Australian Capital Territory - civil union
A civil union is terminated upon the death or marriage of either party.
Queensland
Civil partnerships (formerly named registered relationships) end if either partner passes away or marries, or if either partner applies to us to end the relationship.
South Australia
The SA BDM website is silent on the matter of what happens if a party to a registered relationship dies or marries. I suspect this is because the relationship registration facility only came into being in SA in late 2017. However the website only talks about needing to revoke the relationship if the relationship breaks down. I think if any celebrant comes across a party with a relationship registered in South Australia, they should contact BDM for more information, but perhaps by email rather than phone; emails seem to get answered by people in the appropriate section of BDM rather than by the semi-trained call centre staff.
Tasmania
Again, the Tasmanian BDM website is silent on the matter of what happens if a party to a registered relationship dies or marries. However as with SA, the website only talks about needing to revoke the relationship if the relationship breaks down. I think if any celebrant comes across a party with a relationship registered in Tasmania, they should contact BDM for more information, but perhaps by email rather than phone; emails seem to get answered by people in the appropriate section of BDM rather than by the semi-trained call centre staff.
### The art of differentiation
"Differentiation starts with the choice to do one thing well" says Bernadette at The Story of Telling blog.
I wanted to break that powerful statement down and offer up some food of thought for celebrants today.
The choice
Your celebrant practise, the act and art of you being the celebrant you are is a choice. It may well be that "every" celebrant does it "that way" or that there is an accepted or traditional method of doing something, but you still make the choice. Even if the choice is to change nothing and do the same as everyone else.
To do
The art of being different requires doing. Then failing, flailing, and falling, and finking (I really wanted all the words to start with F), and facing forwards and doing again.
No-one's been different by not doing.
The truth is that you'll actually find out how different you are a year or two after you start the doing and you'll actually be a whole lot weirder and more wonderful than you ever could have imagined.
One Thing
I see celebrants worldwide offer up every single service and ceremony you could think of. If you don't think you've found your difference yet, my challenge to you is to narrow that down to one thing, at least at the start. I'm not saying you can't do funerals and weddings, but if you're failing at finding your footing in both, put one on ice for a season and make the choice to do one thing ...
Well
You are really bad at a large number of things. I know I'm terrible at earthmoving, kitesurfing, video games, carpentry, the list goes on, but I would count my successes to figuring out what I can do well.
My question for you, and for the comments, is what do you think you do well. Shout your own praises from the comments section.
And secondly, if you know another member of this community does something well but they need to hear it, mention it in the comments. Or at least send them a text.
Help others make the choice to do one thing well.
### What it’s like to be deregistered
351 Australian marriage celebrants were deregistrated this week because they “did not pay the celebrant registration charge“ and here are the three letters they received after their initial invoice:
Date: Wed, 8 Aug 2018 12:07:09 +1000
Subject: Annual Celebrant Registration Charge Notice –Reminder
Dear Marriage Celebrant
Our records show that you have not paid your annual celebrant registration charge of $240 for 2018-2019. Your payment is now past the invoice due date. Please pay this invoice by 31 August 2018.
What is the consequence if I do not pay?
If you do not pay your annual celebrant registration charge by the charge payment day of 31 August 2018, then under section 39FB of the Marriage Act 1961 you will be deregistered. There is no discretion to accept payments after the charge payment day.
What if I haven’t received my invoice?
You should contact us immediately.
What if I have already paid?
If you believe you have paid the annual celebrant registration charge and have not yet received a receipt, please email us with a copy of your bank statement showing the payment being debited from your account. This information will help us identify and reconcile your payment.
It may take up to 3-5 business days to reconcile payments. If you have recently paid your invoice and have still not received a receipt within 3-5 business days you should follow up with the department.
What if I want to resign?
If you do not intend on paying the celebrant registration charge as you intend to resign before the charge payment day, you should advise the department of your intention to resign and you will be exempted from the liability to pay the charge.
The form for resigning as a marriage celebrant is available here.
Can I apply for an exemption from the charge?
Applications for exemption from the charge closed on 23 July 2018. It is no longer possible to seek an exemption from payment.
Updated Website
Information to assist you to make your payment is available on our website under ‘Celebrant Resources’ at www.ag.gov.au/marriage. This includes details on how to access your self‑service portal to pay your invoice.
Regards, Marriage Law and Celebrants Section
That reminder email was ignored because the celebrant thought the invoice was paid. Which led to this email:
Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2018
Notice in relation to deregistration
Our records indicate that you did not pay the celebrant registration charge (the charge) by the charge payment day of 31 August 2018.
If you believe you have paid the charge or that you have no liability (you are liable to pay the celebrant registration charge if you are a marriage celebrant on 1 July of the financial year, or become a celebrant later in the financial year, and have not been granted an exemption from the charge) to pay the charge please immediately contact the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section on 1800 550 343. You should be ready to provide evidence in the form of a bank statement which identifies the bank, the date the payment was made and the description used. Once evidence is received we will pursue this with our Accounts Section.
I am writing to advise that, because of your non-payment of the charge, you will be deregistered as a marriage celebrant under section 39FB of the Marriage Act 1961 (the Act).
You will be deregistered as a marriage celebrant after 2 October 2018.
Effect of deregistration
As a result of your deregistration you will not be legally authorised to solemnise any marriages. I will deregister you as a marriage celebrant by removing your details from the register of marriage celebrants, as soon as practicable after 2 October 2018. You must not solemnise any marriages on and from 3 October 2018.
If you have existing marriage bookings to solemnise marriages on or after this date, you should transfer these by transferring the Notice of Intended Marriage form, to another authorised celebrant after discussion with the couple.
It is an offence under section 101 of the Act for a person to solemnise a marriage when they are not authorised to do so. If the department becomes aware that you may have solemnised a marriage when you are not legally authorised to do so, the matter may be referred to the Australian Federal Police.
I will be notifying all state and territory registries of births, deaths and marriages (BDMs) once your deregistration has taken effect.
Right to seek a review of this decision
You have the right under section 39J of the Act to apply to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal (AAT) for a review of this decision. Further information about the AAT’s application process can be found on its website at www.aat.gov.au.
Enclosed with this letter is a factsheet containing further information about seeking AAT review for non‑payment of the celebrant registration charge.
As noted in the factsheet, you may wish to seek independent legal advice before approaching the AAT. The Australian Government funds a range of legal assistance services that may be able to assist you, including legal aid commissions and individual community legal centres (CLCs), which offer free and low cost legal advice. Information to assist with finding legal services is available at www.ag.gov.au/LegalSystem/Legalaidprogrammes/Pages/default.aspx.
Marriage stationery and records
If you have any unused marriage stationery please ensure that you dispose of it safely. Please refer to the 'Changes to marriage forms and certificates' factsheet for information on validity of marriage forms. Particular care must be taken with any unused Form 15 certificates of marriage (the certificate of marriage that is given to the couple on the day) in your possession. They should either be destroyed, provided or sold to another authorised marriage celebrant but must not pass into the possession of an unauthorised person.
How you choose to dispose of any unused certificates of marriage should be noted on your record of use form. If you provide or sell the certificates to another marriage celebrant, please make a note of the celebrant’s name and authorisation number as well as the number of each Form 15 certificate you provide them. If you choose to destroy the certificates please make note of the number of each Form 15 certificate and mark that certificate as destroyed.
As part of your record-keeping obligations you are required to keep any Form 15 certificate record of use form for a period of six years from the last entry on the form.
You are also required to keep any completed official certificates of marriage for a period of six years from the date of the marriage.
While I understand your deregistration may be disappointing, I encourage you to comply with these record keeping obligations.
Yours sincerely, Bridget Quayle, Registrar of Marriage Celebrants
Followed by this email:
Date: Wed, 3 Oct 2018
Deregistration as a Marriage Celebrant
On 10 September 2018, I wrote to you advising of my intention to deregister you as a Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrant due to non-payment of the 2018-2019 celebrant registration charge.
This letter confirms that on 3 October 2018 you were removed from the register of marriage celebrants in accordance with section 39FB of the Marriage Act 1961.
This means that you are not authorised to solemnise any marriages. If you have not already done so, you should transfer any future marriage bookings to an authorised celebrant after discussion with the couple.
Section 101 of the Marriage Act makes it an offence for a person to solemnise a marriage when they are not authorised to do so. The penalty for an offence under section 101 is a $1,050 fine or imprisonment for 6 months.
I have notified state and territory registries of births, deaths and marriages of your deregistration.
You should also refer to my previous letter and familiarise yourself with your record keeping obligations and how to appropriately dispose of unused marriage stationery.
As previously advised, you have a right to seek review of this decision with the Administrative Appeals Tribunal (AAT). There are statutory time limits for applying to the AAT. The date of the decision to deregister you as a marriage celebrant was 10 September 2018. Further information about the deadlines for lodging an application can be found on the AAT website or by calling 1800 228 333.
Enclosed with this letter is a factsheet containing further information about seeking AAT review for non payment of the celebrant registration charge. You may wish to seek legal advice prior to applying for review in the AAT.
If you wish to reapply to become a Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrant, you will need to meet the current requirements for registration, including to: hold a Certificate IV in Celebrancy qualification and pay the application fee of $600. For further information about the application process please see: www.ag.gov.au/marriage.
Yours sincerely, Bridget Quayle, Registrar of Marriage Celebrants
Sarah and I discuss the 2018 deregistration event in the most recent podcast episode.
If you take issue with the lack of reminders and the abruptness of the deregistration, the only course of action you can take is to talk to your local member of parliament. This is the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants doing their job as public servants enacting the law as the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section of the Australian Government Attorney-General’s Department requires them.
Don’t call or email the AGD, or a BDM, talk to your local federal MP.
### Calculating your fee
Liene over at Think Splendid has published a super insightful blog post about how she prices herself for her speaking gigs.
I wonder if we as celebrants have considered not only our costs of doing business expenses, living wage, the average celebrant fee, the market's response to fees, and everything else we can talk about when it comes to pricing yourself, but have we considered this important point.
How much value are we bringing to our couples?
How much better is their life, their wedding, their marriage, because of what we say and do?
It might cost us $100 to be a celebrant, and the average fee might be $200, and you'd like $300, but what if we are actually bringing $400 of value to our couples' lives, and what if we had the potential inside of us already to bring $500 of value.
What if we revolutionised the whole game and our couples walked away $600 richer in their soul because their marriage was breathed into life by someone who cared?
Just some food for thought for all of us.
### Two marketing positions better than “cheap celebrant”
There are only three positions you can take in any marketplace:
First
Best
Cheapest
That’s not to say only three businesses can win in any marketplace, after all, there are almost 10,000 celebrants serving over 120,000 weddings in Australia every year, clearly there are more than three people winning.
Even more arguable is that only two of those positions are winning positions. Trying to win at being cheapest is a race that every participant loses. You’ll invest so much energy and resource into trying to be the cheapest and end up under-cutting all of your colleagues whilst equally not charging enough to stay in business.
(Side note: have you noticed that the only successful “cheap” businesses like Crazy Clarks, McDonalds, Jetstar, Tiger, Aldi, Android, are all major corporations with systems and thousands of staff - unlike your local suburban celebrant undercutting everyone whilst doing twice the work?)
The other two positions are the two I would encourage you to aim for.
First
Be the first celebrant, or if you can’t be the first celebrant, maybe be the first celebrant in your area, or if you can’t be the first in your area, maybe try being the first to do a ceremony over Twitter, or if you can’t be the first on Twitter, be the first on Snapchat, or the first to advertise in a certain magazine, or the first to do a certain technique, or to use a certain piece of equipment, or the first to offer a certain type of ceremony.
Break new ground, make new paths, go where no-one else is going.
Best
Walk the path already made, plant in the already broken ground, but do it better than everyone else.
Be the most entertaining, the most personal, the best sounding, the best looking, the most helpful, the biggest blessing to videographers because you know how your PA system works, or the best friend of photographers by helping them call out people for family photos over the PA system after your ceremony.
Be the absolute best in your area of influence.
Be so good they can’t ignore you.
So good that people can’t help but comment on you, that people are able to remark on you, that you are able to be remarked on - be remarkable.
Cheapest
If you want to win as the cheapest celebrant, here’s what I’d do:
Automate the entire enquiry, booking, consultation, notice of intent and any other process
Start with a low-ball offer of about $200 then add on extras that when they are all selected your price is much more closer to the average $1100.
Remove reviews, recommendations, and testimonies from your marketing processes because if you look at the comments of your local McDonalds Facebook page, or for real horror, the Jetstar Facebook page, no=one has anything good to say about cheap.
Minimise the amount of access the couples and the business has to your life - it’s highly likely that the amount of life, energy and experience required from you will be low, and none of your customers are looking for an innovative and inventive “first” celebrant, and they’re not looking for the “best” celebrant, they’re looking for the cheapest. They’re looking to transfer as little value as possible for what you do, so make sure you meet their expectations.
Prepare yourself for the inevitable loss where you realise that first and best positions would fill your heart and cheap would barely fill your wallet.
If you think you’ve got what it takes to be Australia’s first best cheap celebrant, let me know, I’ve got just the domain name for you: http://celebrant.cheap. If you pitch an actually really good idea for a cheap celebrant I’ll transfer the domain name to you.
Or you could invest that energy into being the first or the best.
### Is that wedding today?
Hello again and thanks for tuning into The Celebrant Talk Show podcast! This episode we chat about:
wedding plannersreceiving identity documents electronicallyCelebrant software: which package is bettter?the importance of paying your registration fee as soon as you receive the invoicewhat happens when a party isn’t consenting?
### How to get enquiries to reply to your emails
Great question today:
Let's talk follow up emails. You've received an enquiry, or worse, have met with a couple. You've sent them an email back, but it's crickets from their end. How do you word your emails to try and elicit a response from them? I don't want to rush them, but at the same time I've got a business to run.
This is an open/shut case whilst also being a deep cave you can get lost in.
My first point of action is to understand that when people hit your inbox they’re at a number of different stages, here’s a few examples:
They think they might be married one day so they’re dreaming of a wedding.
They think they’re getting engaged this weekend and they’re keen to start planning.
They just got engaged and have no idea what a wedding even costs.
They just found out that you exist and would really like you at their wedding as long as you only cost $50.
They’re getting married in four years.
They’re getting married in four weeks.
What a mixed bag of humans enquiring with you, and often you don’t even know what stage they’re at so your replies have to have that personal edge whilst also addressing people in all of these categories.
Now that we know that anyone from the dreamer to the rusher is emailing you with an enquiry, they all need to know the same thing from you:
Can you do what they need you to do?
At a date and place they need you to do it at?
At a price that they are willing to pay,
For an exchange of your value and life that has been accurately and romantically communicated.
And here’s where people get stuck. If any one of those points aren’t met, they don’t always know what to do. It might be that they don’t know hat kind of celebrant they are going to hire so they’ve emailed 50 of us. Or they might find out you’re not available but they really want you so they need to make other plans.
It’s just a hot mess of
people like you doing your job,
people that almost never plan events, planning an event, and
both of you trying to figure out if you both hold the same amount of value for what you say you do.
How to get a reply
The easiest way to get a reply, is to write a good email. Good emails get replies. Unless the people are terrible people then you probably don’t want a reply from them anyway.
Also, you’ve got to remember that when they ask “how much?” they don’t often enquire with celebrants and so they don’t know how to be polite and nice about it.
What does a good email look like?
A good email, particularly in these early days of our relationship looks like this:
brief and to the point,
whilst offering answers to all questions asked, and
communicating the value you’re willing to exchange for a price you’ve communicated, with one final banger:
a call to action.
End the short yet powerful email with a call to action.
Not a call to some kind of response like “let me know if that’s ok”
Give them a reason to hit reply. Here’s a few examples:
If you would like me to hold this date for you, hit reply and I’ll let you know how to proceed.
The next step for us is to meet either in person, on the phone, or on Skype, I’m available on Wednesday at 6pm, does that time work for you?
My quote for your wedding is $100,000. That price is valid for the next 5 days, please reply and let me know that you would like to proceed at that price.
If you read this far and still care, reply and let me know that I’m a valid person and my mum loves me.
You might understand that I receive many emails like yours each day so if you’d like to talk about me being your celebrant, please reply and we’ll proceed with booking in your wedding.
Or words to that effect.
What about meetings?
I end my meetings the same way. “When you both have made the decision about me being your celebrant, please email me and I’ll send you a booking form”.
People are stupid
People are stupid, well most people are stupid, clearly not you because you're a member of the Celebrant Institute, but many people don't know what to do next - so you need to lay the path forward for them, that’s what a call to action is.
### Uploading documents to NSW BDM from a Mac
A little tip for celebrants using the NSW Lifelink system.
I tweeted at the NSW Justice Department decrying their developers of not allowing Mac users to upload documents into Lifelink and one of their staff wrote me back with this little tip.
Don't worry, I've let them know that this is a silly bug, but I bet most of us didn't know the fix was this easy.
From the NSW BDM:
If the save button does not appear to be functioning when attaching a document in eRegistry, simply refresh your page and then add the documents for uploading.
Select your image to attached, the press Command R if you are using a Mac. If may be necessary to add the documents again after refreshing your page.
Attaching documents in eRegistry
After you have completed your notification and you are ready to upload, attach scans of your documents to the record. Documents must be in jpg or pdf format.
View the record.
Select Add documents from the Action List and press go.
If the save button does not appear to be functioning when attaching a document in eRegistry, simply refresh your page and then add the documents for uploading.
Select your image to attached, then press Ctrl + F5 to refresh your page if you are using a PC, or Command R if you are using a Mac. If may be necessary to add the documents again after refreshing your page.
### Co-delivering a marriage ceremony
Josh asks:
I have a celebrant mate of mine whose registration is pending with the AG’s office. But, she has a friend’s wedding coming up towards the end of September, which is the reason why she completed the course. I initially completed the NOIM for her and kept the date in September free (just in case), but what would you recommend I do to help from here? Should I just hang tight and wait for the AG or can I take care of the legals and have the other celebrant deliver the ceremony (other than the legal elements of course)? Also how would this work if the other celebrant has spent the time getting to know the couple and I have simply helped in a legal capacity?
It's definitely possible for an authorised celebrant to manage the legalities of the ceremony while another person (whether a pending celebrant or a friend of the couple) delivers the "ceremonial" aspects of the ceremony.
A lot of celebrants I know became celebrants in order to officiate at a friend or family member's marriage. In years gone by that was a pretty easy thing to do; the couple paid for the friend to do the celebrant course (prior to 2003 there was no formal training at all; between 2003 and 2010 you only had to complete one unit of competency to become a celebrant) and it was all good.
The current Cert IV in Celebrancy, which started being delivered across the country from July 2017, is much more intensive than anything we've seen before, so it's possible that there will be more people wanting to deliver a ceremony in partnership with an authorised celebrant who manages the legal aspects. And certainly we'll continue to have the cases such as in this question, where a pending celebrant hasn't quite received their authorisation by the time the wedding comes up.
Legalities
Ultimately this is super simple. The authorised celebrant needs to make it clear to the guests that they are responsible for the legal matters, and the other person can do everything else. This is the way I do it at the actual ceremony:
The other person does any pre-processional housekeeping (turn your phones off, don't take photos, etc).
The processional runs as normal.
I introduce myself as the authorised celebrant and say the couple's full names, the same way I do at every other wedding: "Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to X Venue. My name is Sarah Aird and I am delighted to be the authorised celebrant to officiate at Party 1's Full Name and Party 2's Full Name's wedding."
I say something about how I'm the one responsible for the legal stuff, and I'll shortly be introducing whoever, who will be responsible for the fun stuff.
I state the full Monitum.
I introduce the other person, and go stand at the side of the guests (I don't stand up the front, I'm not needed there; I like to stand near the end of one of the rows of chairs so I can see everything that's going on, and I'm close enough to jump in if I'm needed for any reason).
I must be close enough to hear the legal vows.
The other person delivers the ceremony, including pronouncing the couple married (that's not a legal requirement and I don't need to do it).
When it comes time for the signing, I head back up the front to the signing table to manage that process as usual.
The other person closes out the ceremony and presents the couple to their guests.
So in summary, as long as I introduce myself as the authorised celebrant, say the Monitum, hear the legal vows, and manage the signing process as usual, someone else can do literally everything else!
The authorised celebrant also has to receive and sign all the legal documentation (including the Notice of Intended Marriage, the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage, and the three Official Certificates of Marriage), and register the marriage with BDM as usual.
Doing this in practice
There are a LOT of differing opinions about how to charge for this type of arrangement. Many celebrants choose to charge their normal fee, as they believe it is just as much work to manage a non-celebrant writing and delivering a ceremony as it is for them to write it themselves.
I'm a bit different, and just as with all my other ceremony packages, it's because I'm completely upfront and transparent about what I will and won't do for the price I'm offering.
I currently charge $580 for this arrangement, which is the same price as my Short and Sweet Ceremony Package. I make it clear to the couple that for that price I will provide:
a copy of my Premium Ceremony Builder Booklet that their friend can use for ideas on ceremony structure and wording
an hour meeting with the couple and the friend to complete the Notice of Intended Marriage and discuss their thoughts about the ceremony and logistical issues
a further hour working with the friend, in person or by phone or by email, on the script that they write
all the legal stuff
officiating at the wedding on the day.
I make it clear that for that price I will NOT write the ceremony, attend a rehearsal, or provide any more than the two hours of support I've offered. If they want me to write the ceremony, they pay my Premium fee. If they want me to attend a rehearsal or spend more time with their friend, they pay me an hourly rate to cover my time.
So far I've had no problems at all with doing it this way. I don't believe it reflects on me if their friend does a poor job writing or delivering the ceremony; I make it clear to the guests on the day that I'm simply there for the legalities and have nothing to do with the rest of the ceremony. Sometimes I feel sad that an amazing couple has ended up with a shit ceremony delivered by a crappy public speaker, but that's what they wanted, and that's their prerogative. I don't feel comfortable charging my full fee when I'm not spending any time at all writing a ceremony, and I'm happy with that choice. It's a personal choice, and that's the way I've decided to operate.
It's important to think about how you want to manage a situation like this in case it ever presents itself; it's better to be prepared with an answer than to try to come up with a response on the fly. Does anyone want to share the way they manage such situations?
Legal stuff
The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018 do a pretty thorough job at outlining our responsibilities if we're co-delivering a ceremony. Have a look at pages 63 and 64 for more info.
### Charging for travel. Sarah's view
Mercy asks:
I've been asked to do a wedding two hours from Sydney and quoted an extra $50 above my usual fee each way, but they want to do a rehearsal the day before which would require me driving an extra four hours plus the time it takes to do the rehearsal. How would you recommend I charge for this?
Josh and I, along with every celebrant in the universe, have different ways of calculating travel fees, so this article is definitely just my view and the way I do it.
It's a very personal decision, choosing how and when to apply travel fees, and things to consider include how much time you're willing to spend away from your family and other bookings and life, as well as how badly you want the specific job you're quoting for.
I don't have a family (no partner or kids), nor much of a life if I'm honest, and I prefer to have one booking even if it's not the most profitable arrangement I could get for the day, so I'm fairly transparent about how I calculate travel fees, and I tend to apply them the same way for every couple I meet.
I advertise that my premium wedding package includes travel within 40km of my home in Glen Iris, Victoria. Outside of that I reserve the right to charge travel fees, although I don't tend to actually start charging them until I'm travelling over 70km from home. If a couple books me for a wedding that is, for example, 200km from my home, I do the following calculation:
200km there plus 200km home equals 400km
80km is included in my package
Therefore I'm going to charge them for 320km
I charge at 66c per kilometre (the ATO mileage rate has gone up to 68 cents per kilometre in 2018, so I might just change to that).
320km x $0.66 equals $211.20
I like to round my figures out, so I'd probably quote them $210 per attendance at the venue
That last part is important, because it covers me for a rehearsal if they want one. If I'm charging to travel to the venue on the wedding day, I'm also going to charge them to travel to the venue for a rehearsal. I'm also happy to run rehearsals in backyards or parks, or final meetings at my usual restaurant, to avoid us all trooping out to the venue a second time.
Some celebrants suggest charging more than the ATO mileage rate because that really only covers petrol and wear and tear on your car, and you should still charge for your travelling time. But I choose not to do that (for no other reason than that then my travel fees get really high and I get scared that the couple won't book me - yes, I'm a bit gutless!).
In addition to the mileage calculation, I personally won't drive more than four hours in a single day; it's too exhausting, and I don't have anyone who accompanies me to weddings, so I don't feel that it's safe for me to do that. If a couple's wedding venue is further than a two-hour drive from my home, I'm also going to charge them for a night's accommodation. Again, I'm a bit gutless and I tend to just throw out $150 as an accommodation charge; it's not too tricky to get a hotel room for that amount in most country towns in Victoria, and I feel guilty charging them for something more "special". If I want to stay in a fancy room, I can pay the difference myself.
The accommodation situation can help with the rehearsal situation; in order to avoid me making two trips to their venue, some couples choose to have me stay the night before their wedding, and run the rehearsal the day before. I'm more than happy to do that, although it has on occasion left me with a lot of hours to fill in weird places the day of the wedding (last time I had to check out at 10am and the wedding wasn't until 4pm; I just drove to the closest big town and went to the movies!).
I haven't yet been asked to quote on an interstate or overseas wedding, and to be honest I don't think I'd be particularly interested in doing either unless I could somehow make a holiday out of it. I'm ultimately a home body and I like coming home, sitting on my couch, and eating pizza after a wedding :)
So that's how I manage travel. Does anyone want to let us know in the comments how they do it?
### Names on the NOIM: legal change of name
Veronica asks:
I have a couple that had a commitment ceremony four years ago and legally changed their names, and are now wanting to get married. What names should I use on the paperwork? What's on their birth certificate?
In a word, no. When a person changes their name legally, they forfeit the right to use the name on their original birth certificate. How this happens is a little more complex than that though...
Change of name by deed poll
In the olden days (i.e. pre-October 1986 in Victoria, slightly later in other states), a person could change their name by deed poll. A solicitor would draw up a deed, and lodge it with BDM. That process was phased out across the country by the late 1990s, and replaced by the name change registration process managed by Registries of Births, Deaths and Marriages in every state.
If a party to a marriage changed their name by deed poll, they gave up their right to use the name on their birth certificate, so the name on their deed poll documentation must be used on their marriage documentation.
Change of name through BDM
When someone changes their name through Births, Deaths and Marriages, what they're doing depends on whether they were born in Australia or overseas.
Change of name through BDM - born in Australia
If a person was born in Australia and wants to legally change their name, they do so through the BDM in the state in which they were born, regardless of which state they are currently living in. They are literally changing the name on their birth record, and a new birth certificate will be issued to them. The new birth certificate will show their name at birth and their new name, and include a history of changes on the back of the certificate.
If a party to a marriage was born in Australia and changes their name legally through BDM, they must use the new name that is listed on their new birth certificate on their marriage documents. They have given up the right to use the name that was given to them at birth, and cannot choose to revert to their birth name for the purposes of their marriage documentation.
Change of name through BDM - born overseas
If a person was born overseas and wants to legally change their name, they can do through the BDM in the state in which they live, as long as they can show evidence of living in that state for at least 12 months. In this case there BDM does not have access to their birth record, so they are merely registering a legal change of name. They will receive a 'change of name' certificate showing their name at birth and their new name, along with a history of changes on the back of the certificate.
If a party to a marriage was born overseas and changes their name legally through BDM, they must use the new name that is listed on their change of name certificate on their marriage documents. They have given up the right to use the name that was given to them at birth, and cannot choose to revert to their birth name for the purposes of their marriage documentation.
Proof of date and place of birth
Remember that if you sight deed poll documentation or a change of name certificate as proof of their name, you still need to sight either a birth certificate or a passport as proof of their date and place of birth.
Just out of interest...
In Victoria when you change your name through BDM, you have to provide a reason for changing your name, not all names will be acceptable, and you can only change your name once in a 12-month period and three times in your lifetime!
Legal stuff
Using names that are different to names on birth certificates is covered on page 31 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
### Giving your clients what they want: bad deal
I have been simmering on the idea that our clients don’t actually know what they want, despite almost all wedding vendor websites claiming to give them whatever they want, for quite a while now.
I even had half an article drafted, and then today Liene at Think Splendid wrote this great piece and it nailed the whole idea.
If you offer clients “what they want” without offering your expertise and insight, then your clients are actually getting a bad deal. You are getting paid for your professional opinion: speak up.
Read her piece here then maybe edit your marketing materials to reflect the professional you are. Or if you don’t have a professional opinion, develop one, or shut down. When your clients hire a celebrant, they’re hiring an amazing skilled and talented professional, not a “by the hour” legal signatory to some documents.
### iPad Celebrants, you need this tip
If you're a celebrant who reads off your iPad, you might not be aware of a simple way you can help photographers and videographers.
If the ceremony is inside with lower lighting, your iPad's screen brightness will often reflect onto your face, like this:
iPad reflecting off my face with standard brightness settings
This is normal and to be expected, you do after all need to be able to read your iPad's screen. The problem is that most lighting in a darker setting like this would be warmer coloured lighting. The normal colour from an iPad's white screen is quite blue, instead of warm.
A simple flick of a switch on your iPad can make the screen warmer, like this:
iPad reflecting off my face with warmer brightness settings
Enabling this setting will make it so much easier for videographers and photographers to edit the wedding because the light on your face will be a similar colour to the rest of the lighting.
If you're outside in full light you need not worry, and if the room is lit with cool (blue/white) colours then adjust appropriately.
The setting is called "Night shift" and it's designed to make it easier for your iPad screen to be viewed at night.
You'll find it in the Settings app, then "Display and Brightness" and manually enable it until tomorrow.
### Joining an association, Josh’s view
Jo asks
What professional association do I join? One? Two? All? I know this is tricky question and high levels of diplomacy may be required - but how does a newbie choose between the associations? My RTO has given no advice and all associations seem to offer the same or similar benefits.
The good news is that you don’t have to join a celebrant association, it’s a choice you get to make. As for which association, and there’s many, you ought to look at the benefits membership brings you.
As I skim the membership benefits pages of many of the associations, I see insurance being offered by many, although because of my corporate structure I have public liability insurance separately, some offer celebrant software, some offer copyright licensing, and others offer mentoring, meetings, and online forms and Facebook groups (oh so many Facebook groups), and if pushed I personally don’t see immediate benefit to many of them outside of discounted insurance.
Liaising with the Attorney-General’s department
There is however an important aspect of celebrant associations that many associations are dropping, that’s their liaising with the AGD office.
From this week’s issue of Marriage Celebrant Matters
The department met with marriage celebrant associations on 2 May 2018. Sixteen celebrants representing fourteen celebrant associations were in attendance. Issues discussed included improving consultation approaches between associations and the department, changes to the Marriage Act 1961 for marriage equality, and consultation activities including the review of official marriage forms. The meeting also included a presentation by the Department of Finance on the Australian Government Charging Framework. The department held a teleconference with associations on 10 August 2018 and the next face to face meeting is scheduled for mid-October.
Celebrant associations have a seat at the table with the AGD.
Our AGD needs to be held accountable to decisions they make, plus there needs to be open communication between that office and the celebrant population. In recent times our own Sarah Aird has taken that upon herself and if we don’t support associations, or have one worth joining, this kind of work will fall on individual shoulders.
Maybe that’s what the future of marriage celebrancy in Australia looks like?
### How to MC a wedding reception, a guide for celebrants
We've had a number of questions about MC'ing wedding receptions recently, so I've wrapped it all up in this quick and easy how-to guide.
The host, or MC, of an event is as unique role as the whole event is held in your hands but you're not at the centre of it. You're the ringleader, the master of ceremony, the voice, and the host, but if you're any good no-one will remember you – because it's your job to make the couple shine and for all of the guests to have an amazing night.
MCing the reception is a natural fit for a celebrant, we've already spent the time getting to know the couple, and we already start the event, it's only natural that we'd continue hosting the after-ceremony proceedings.
Ultimately what happens at the reception, and how you navigate those waters, will be 45% the couple's doing and 45% you being you, so this article is on the remaining 10%: how to be the best MC.
Your role
I see the MC's role as being the middle-person in-between the couple, the venue, the kitchen, the other vendors, and the crowd.
We want to have a good understand of the couple's needs and desires - they're paying the bill after all - so that as we interact with everyone else we can respectfully communicate that "all of that is great, but the couple would like it to happen this way" so that a suitable outcome can be found when the kitchen needs to serve dinner, but the photographer ran late with photos, the band is due to start soon, but you haven't communicated the housekeeping and introduced the couple yet.
Your role is a little bit like a doula. A doula isn't a midwife, but they are a third party liaison for the couple giving birth so that they aren't hindered with making decisions they don't need to make. A doula is like a professional best-friend when giving birth, and a MC is a professional best-friend on your wedding day.
Speaking is only part of your role, the rest of it is understanding the flow of the event, everyone's priorities, and then leading the couple and the crowd through that.
Runsheets
Runsheets are powerful yet useless. They are powerful because they lay out the groundwork for what's going to happen at a wedding, and what order they'll occur in, but they're useless because in the 15 years I've been running events I've never seen a runsheet obeyed. They're a rough guide as to what will happen and when.
The kitchen
The chef and kitchen staff hold an important aspect of the day: the food. It's your job to be in communication with them around their timelines and what they need so that everyone has hot food in front of them, so establish a good relationship with the appropriate people in the kitchen so that flows well.
Another aspect of your relationship with the kitchen is working out if they would prefer to clear plates before speeches begin, or after. I prefer that the plates are cleared before we begin speaking, but some kitchens can do it quietly.
Photographers and videographers
It is your responsibility to communicate to the photography and videography crew about what they need to capture on the night, and how you can make that easy for them. It might be that they need 10 minutes notice on speeches so they can set up, if so, give them 10 minutes notice, and not less. I recommend talking to them about positioning in the room, if that is flexible, so they can get great photos and video with ease.
Band or DJ
I prefer to use my own PA system in a reception, but if the band or DJ has a good setup that you trust, use theirs, and that will require you to work with them on levels, and also cues on you speaking and them stopping the music.
A hint here: try not to cut in to the middle of a song, but tell them "I'd like to speak at the end of this song". That way they have notice and can also give the event a better flow and feel instead of you interrupting everyone's favourite song.
The couple
As the couple's liaison, through the event stay in touch with them about what you're planning on doing next and if that suits them, also offering them an opportunity to change things if required. The couple having a fun and relaxed night is more important than any runsheet.
You speaking
Imagine that the whole crowd are idiots, but treat them with the upmost respect. Simply, don't assume that everyone knows what is happening, and why, but talk to them kindly, slowly, and clearly.
My MC style is to talk as little as possible while saying everything needed to be said, however there are other equally good wedding reception MC styles that are on the more verbose side. DJ friends of mine are trained in the Marbecca Method which really intrigues me, but for today I like my minimalist approach.
Most of your role on the night is off-microphone, but what you say on microphone is also important, just be sure to be clear as you communicate it because as you start speaking you're interrupting everyone's conversations so it best be good.
How much to charge
I'm not going to dictate a fee, but the way I view it is that I could be at home with my wife, so it better be worth it. I don't like charging by the hour, only because I don't want to be the guy that tells the couple that my time is up. I'd rather charge a good price for the whole night and then leave when appropriate. But if you're going to charge by the hour, make sure it's clearly communicated to the couple.
How to sell it
Many couples have already identified a friend or family member that will MC, and most of those MCs are terrible at it. Your pitch should communicate your professional public speaking ability that has already sold you as a celebrant, but you just extend that service past the ceremony into the reception.
### Which directories should we advertise in?
Sarita asks
I'm a relatively new celebrant and just after some advice on the world of wedding directories. There seem to be loads. Apart from the obvious ones like easyweddings, ABIA, there's lots of smaller ones like polka dot bride, wedding guide, celebrant society, etc etc & a huge variation on how much it costs to list with them. Have you any tips, recommendations on where to go and where not to go. I feel like I should be listing somewhere (shouldn't I?) but where to go!
I'm going to address the most important aspect of Sarita's question straight up: "I feel like I should be listing somewhere" because it's a trap most businesses get caught up in. For years Easy Weddings advertised its services to celebrants on the back of "Josh Withers lists with us, you should to" and that is the worst reason to ever list with a directory, because someone else is there. The only thing you should be doing is telling your story in a way that motivates other humans to pay you money to be a part of that story. There are zero directories, blogs, websites magazines, fairs or expos that you should be in. There are literally thousands that you could be in, and the space in between is for you to navigate, let me lay out the map.
Directories in the pre-internet era
In 1999 I was a junior in a team that sold, installed, fixed, and configured point-of-sale (POS) systems for businesses. Point-of-sale systems was fancy industry speak for cash registers and stock control. If you were a business that needed a POS system you would find our business a very finite number of ways:
Through relationship - one of our sales team would have knocked on your door, or met you at a networking event, and formed a relationship with you so that when it came time for you to get a POS system (1999 was definitely that year thanks to a little Year 2000 bug) you would contact your salesperson and start the process. Word of mouth is a form of relationship, just one step removed.
Through a directory - like the Yellow Pages, the Bartercard (remember them?!), or the Chamber of Commerce directory. You would identify your own need for a POS, realise you have no relationship with someone who can provide one, and thus seek out a directory listing.
Through advertising - we would advertise in places like TV, radio, newspapers, local magazines, and on billboards, forever impressing on yours (and everybody's) brains that if you were in business you needed a computerised system to track sales and inventory, and we were definitely the people you needed to pay for such a system.
It was an easy system, our focus was on building relationships with potential clients, and those we didn't form a relationship with would find us in a directory or through our advertising. We even bought competitors purely to increase the value of our relationships, in that we now had a wider range of POS systems available for purchase and we also had three different businesses and phone numbers listed in the directories. So we would receive three different phone calls from the same potential client, and three different sales staff would quote for three different systems, and the one we actually wanted to sell was always the best deal, so the relationship with the first salesperson was cemented because even after two other phone calls, the first one was the best deal.
That's how local business operated before the age of accountability, relationship, and knowledge we access through the information superhighway we now call the internet.
Directories in the early internet
The transition period between not having the internet, and now, was a messy time for the internet. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry had the power to create their own directories - and they did - and the easy way to find out their effectiveness today is to ask yourself which directories you used?
I remember accessing the Yellow and White pages for a time, but that time has long passed.
Some of the directories really invested in SEO (hi, Easy Weddings!) so they actually did provide real value for many businesses, and some even invested heavily in offline brand awareness (hi, ABIA). But a quick survey of most couples being married today would tell you that the brand awareness (relationship) isn't there anymore.
Directories today
The world wide web that we know as the internet today provides a completely different basis for doing business, and every sector of business, at every level has had to re-think what it does in advertising and marketing and why it does it.
Many directories today have a modicum of success today because they had it yesterday, but a wise business investor doesn't invest in a business because of past profits, but for future returns.
I believe the successful directories of the future will based on
Relationship, as in "these are people I know and trust and I recommend them", or
Niche market segments, as in "these are celebrants that perform hand fasting ceremonies", or
Exploiting algorithms like Google's, Facebook's, and future algorithmic influences that we don't even know about. A good example of this is how I list on a number of directories purely because my research has proven to me that those websites help lift my own website on Google's pagerank algorithim.
But that's not to say you shouldn't advertise in a directory or on a website today, I just believe that we have the personal power to reach people directory, so we don't need to be in directories, instead, we get to choose.
The attention gambit
The greatest currency in the world today is attention, and the fact you've read this far means I have yours, but most directories don't have the attention you need them to have for you to have a return on your investment.
What should we do?
My regular advice in this respect is to remember that you as a celebrant have different sales goals than Coca Cola, so just because they advertise somewhere, it doesn't mean you should. This even extends to others in the wedding industry. A popular wedding venue might have the sales goal of selling 150 x $20,000 wedding packages a year, and a photographer might have the goal of selling 30 x $6000 wedding packages a year, while your goal and mine will be different, so reaching those goals requires thought, research, process, and strategy.
Thought
Who are you hoping to attract to your business? What's their world view and what kind of celebrant would they hire? Where do people like that find people like you? What influences their decisions? Do they care if you are an ABIA member? Are they scrolling through the 200 other celebrants on Easy Weddings to find you?
Research
Ask the big questions, not on social media, but make the phone call or send the text, ask people what sources proved helpful in planning their wedding and the vendors they did hire, where did they find them? The websites, magazines, guides, expos, that are coming up as potential successful places to advertise in - what do they look like? Does your brand fit in there?
Process
You won't get this right every time, but start investing in advertising in a small number of places you've identified and track their success. Don't commit long term, but if you are going to advertise, don't get the cheapest and smallest package because you'lll get the smallest result. Watch your website analytics and see where the clicks are coming from. Ask your enquiries and bookings where they saw you online. Don't ask in a form, but ask them in person when you talk, find out the whole story that a web form can't provide.
Strategy
With the information on advertising you've gathered, researched, and experienced, look at how it affected your business' financial results, and then readjust and try again. If the biggest most intelligent businesses are changing and improving their strategy regularly, you should too.
What if we just ditched directories?
Directories, and most of the online websites, are not necessary to succeed in business, they simply provide and opportunity for you to jump on their back and ride their success.
But if you were feeling bold, and adventurous, and wanted to take your fate into your own hands - you could try reaching people directly.
My personal directory success
I'll round out the article lightly detailing what has worked for me in the past.
Directories that rank really high on Google. It's a little bit like scraping the bottom of the potential-clients-barrel but it sells. Search for terms you want to be found for, and see who's there.
Directories that are run by wedding planners for specific regions and the wedding planner tells couples about the preferred vendors directory.
My directory, the celebrant.directory, because it lists the small number of celebrants that are of a similar price-point to me, that are of a similar worldview to me, and everyone on there might be suitable replacements if one of the others wasn't available. It's a relationship-based directory where we all refer couples back to if we're not available.
I can tell you that I don't advertise on Easy Weddings or any of the other big directories because I'm certain that I won't be found amongst the hundreds of other celebrants there, and even if I am, the couple haven't identified my personality or worldview, and they're not sold on brand me. They're just scrolling through a massive list.
I also don't list with ABIA or any of the award based companies because I don't subscribe to there being a singular "best celebrant". The world we live in today doesn't allow for it. I might be the single best celebrant for a couple, or for a couple of couples, but the idea of there being a single awarded top-spot for such a personal service doesn't suit my purposes in my marketing and advertising strategy. I'd rather people find me and book me because I am me, not because a third party I paid hundreds of dollars to said I was the best.
### Celebrancy: The price
“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
Henry David Thoreau
Self-employed creatives can talk about price and fee until the end of time. I've had celebrants privately, publicly, to my face, and behind my back, make all of the comments about why I charge too much, or not enough, and how that's a problem, or an opportunity.
Everyone has an opinion on price.
Because our price is so closely linked to our soul, our heart, our skill, and as Henry says: the amount of life you exchange.
How much life are you exchanging per wedding? Are you charging a fair price, or giving away your most valuable asset for free?
### Doing deals with other vendors
Pete asks:
I have a question about the legalities of commercial arrangements with third parties given that as a Celebrant we're government officers and our duty to avoid potential conflicts.
Just about everyone has a people we love section on their website, but, there's obviously a line somewhere between [accepting a commercial discount on product/services for repeat business and independently giving a genuine recommendation to my clients] and [entering into commercial arrangements for non-commercial discounts / free products as a quid-pro-quo for implied or explicit endorsement & referrals].
I guess I'm just wondering where that line is as I'm currently faced with two potential arrangements - one in my gut I feel is ok, the other in my gut I think is not ok.
The one I think is ok: Is with a sound and lighting hire company who I've been hiring and buying sound gear from for over 15 odd years. When I'm booked to be the sound-man for a reception, I hire the big PA & lighting gear from them. I also bought half the components for my ceremony PA from them and do all of my servicing through them. So, they've offered me a discount of 25% on hire products for being a great repeat customer who always returns the gear in perfect condition, etc. etc. etc. and this is a discount that they offer to other great customers (i.e. it's a "commercial discount"). I'm quite open with anyone who asks where I hire and buy my sound gear from because they offer great service, the gear is well maintained and high end, etc. etc. etc. and importantly it's a genuine recommendation if anyone asks me where I think is the best place to get sound and lighting gear in Brisbane. Why I think this is ok is because it's a commercial discount that I've been offered, the discount is based on being a good repeat customer, etc. rather than a quid-pro-quo, etc. etc. etc. and finally, as the hire is an expense that I pass on to my clients, it's actually my clients that benefit from this discount, not me.
The one I think is not ok: Is a proposition from a contact that I was a client of, who just left his previous suit shop that does hire and sales to go out and do his own thing. He's offered to figure out an arrangement where I hire suits from him on a rotating basis so that in effect I'm pretty much wearing a new suit for each wedding I do. He is currently on my "people I love list" based on the exceptional service I received as a client of his, but I'm getting the feeling that he'd like me to include something like an "I'm dressed by @company" to all of my social posts. The first thing that I think might be inappropriate is that while I delt with this person (I bought, and my groomsmen hired the suits from my wedding from this particular person) and he was my sole contact there (and frankly he was carrying that business) our transaction happened while he was working for another company for which he no longer works and I'm a client of 'company x' not a client of the contact. Finally, to me, I feel like it's much more of an endorsement type arrangements as there's a quid-pro-quo involved because I'm getting something (suits) at a non-commercial discount and he's getting something (endorsement & social media props) rather than a genuine testimonial. So obviously, given that I'm iffy on it I'm not going to take him up on the offer, but it sparked a thought for me of "where is the line?". I'm also really interested as to what the literature says about these kinds of things as obviously if the agreement was struck on a commercial basis that was appropriate this is something I'd love to take advantage of so that I'm not recycling the same 5 suits over and over again.
Do you think this would this be ok? If I were to pay a recurring "subscription type" fee to him that on an annual basis would be similar to what my annual expenditure on suits would be with some premium for things like increased dry-cleaning costs, etc. I openly say that "I get my suits from 'company' who I like and I'm treated well by" if I'm asked and if one of his suits is in a social post, the company is tagged - as I would with any other supplier. I'm still not a 100% on something like this, but it doesn't feel distinctly wrong like the current proposition does.
So the good news is that the new conflict of interest guidelines mean that both of these circumstances are pretty much ok, the AGD simply asks that you manage your own potential conflicts of interest, so that you don't have any. Always remember that the key words in a conflict of interest are in the actual title words: conflicted interests. Does situation A sit in conflict with situation B? Is your interest in one affecting the other. That's why the AGD maintains a tight hold on the scenarios around celebrants employed by venues and celebrants who are migration agents (you can't be either) because there are numerous obvious situations where your interests could easily be conflicted on a regular basis.
The most obvious conflicts of interest for the "employed by a venue" situation would be if you deemed the couple not fit to marry and if you were self-employed maybe you'd lose $1000, but because your employer could stand to lose $20,000 then maybe your judgement would be blurred. The migration agent situation is clear enough.
But that's not to say that both of these situations are within the law. In the realm of the Celebrant Institute website we are not qualified to offer legal advice of any kind at any time. Sarah and I are not lawyers, although I have watched six seasons of Suits, so I know my way around a courtroom. We do however offer advice and insight on the marriage laws and guidelines as we interpret them, and Sarah actually is qualified and authorised to offer training on those laws and guidelines, but when it comes to other laws like consumer law and business law, we're as intelligent as you are after a quick Google search.
So this isn't legal advice, this is just Josh advice:
I would commercially marry myself to as few people as possible. The wedding industry's least favourite people are those that have their hands in everyone's pockets because they value relationship less than dollars. My argument has always been that we should all expect nothing from each other and make genuine and generous offerings of recommendations based on relationship and talent. If we employ low expectations and high quality recommendations then logic would tell us that it will all come back to us, and if we're charging enough to run our business then we don't need the $50 from him and the discount from her.
It's a simple methodology but its one that has served me well for almost ten years.
If I do ask for money (or value) from you, you're either getting married by me (or I'm performing some other service for you), you're attending a workshop I'm running, or you're a celebrant looking for advice or referrals, I charge for my celebrant directory because it's an easy path of referral - I list celebrants similar in nature to me and they receive referrals of couples who enquiries with me that I'm not available for, and because my enquiry rate is high enough, its a solid business model, but the expectations are still low on all sides, and if anyone leaves, there's no hurt feelings. The celebrant directory doesn't negatively affect anyone.
In a similar vein, you may have read our "PA system for celebrants" article in which I highly recommend a Bose S1 PA system. As of today that article has no sponsorship or commercial arrangement around it, but I'll honestly tell you that before I published I attempted to get a deal in place which included a package for members and possibly a deal for Sarah and I, but I couldn't wrangle one in time. I'm still pursuing this arrangement and if it comes into play, I'll update the page accordingly offering a disclosure that the review was prepared independently but now we've entered into a commercial arrangement with someone. I won't be apologetic or awkward about it, we won't be the first business to enter into a commercial arrangement and we won't be the last, and we'll probably be far more open about it than we are required (its not required) because that's Sarah and my nature, and plus we're betting on the fact that you guys aren't idiots and you'd see right through it if I only l linked to one company. I'd also be expecting you to be smart enough to Google the PA system name and do your own research, and if you're not smart enough, then our commercial arrangement wins.
I can foresee other commercial arrangements being viewed negatively by industry, but Pete's suit example doesn't look to be one of them.
Do note that when you do have a commercial arrangement as a self-employed sole trader you are only required to publicly disclose that arrangement if the marketer has "control" over your posts, that is, they tell you what to post, and how to post it. More on that on the ABC News website.
As we've already covered, I can't talk to the legal side of the suit deal however (it sounds ok), but I'll let you do your own Google search or ask a lawyer yourself.
### Where to host your website
Emma asks
To squarespace or not to squarespace? What are your tips for starting a website?
This article has the opportunity to be a long and nerdy one, so I'm going to be purposely brief so that you can make an educated decision easily.
All business decisions focus on whether we do it ourselves or outsource it. Most of us make the decision to outsource electricity supply but we'll supply the presentation of the ceremony at the wedding. Some outsource ceremony script writing and some will host their office at home. While others will write their own scripts and then outsource office supply to a co-working space, or another arrangement.
Your website will come under the same decision making process: do we do it ourselves or outsource it. And truth be told, almost none of us are 100% capable of doing 100% of our website ourselves (you'll still need an internet connect even if you host your own website on your own computer) so with a website it's more about how much do you want to outsource, and to who?
100% outsourced
You don't know anything about your website, you probably just pay the invoice every month. If this interests you, talk to someone who does the whole deal like my friend Robey.
80% outsourced
A good example of a 90% outsourced website is something like Squarespace, Wordpress.com or Wix. By the way, my personal opinion of Wix is pretty low for a variety of nerdy reasons, but Squarespace is a pretty good product. I tried to love it, but I just don't. That's just a personal opinion from someone who has been developing websites since 1997 but I am of the understanding that the general public love it.
The only real downside to Sqaurespace and its competitors is that each of them is going to have a hard upper or lower limit for customisation. Most of you would never notice this, but I do, because I'm that nerd that notices. A good example of this is a friend has a beautiful Sqaurespace website but when they asked me for help building some automations and forms, Squarespace didn't really place well there. So we simply developed a small site purely for these functions.
The 20% you haven't outsourced is the content of the website, with Squarespace, Wordpress.com or Wix you will need to look after the design, template choosing, and content.
Note: There are two versions of Wordpress. There's the .com and the .org. Wordpress.com (Wordpress dot com) is very similar to Squarespace, in the way that Ford is similar to Holden. Same but different. Wordpress.org (Wordpress dot org) is the Wordpress referenced below.
60% outsourced
This is where I sit, I pay WPEngine for my hosting, I host my domain names with Hover, I run Wordpress.org (Wordpress dot org) on that hosting, and I choose my Wordpress theme from Elegant Themes, and then did my own custom design along with purchasing and installing custom plugins like Gravity Forms. This seems very DIY but a big element of a website is the hosting of the website and the domain names. It's a massive part of the work, and I don't do it, but I also don't hire a single company (like Squarespace) to do it. I custom built my own solution that suited me. This very website is built the same way on the same companies.
Everything else
This involves nerdy and geekery that I don't care enough about.
What's best?
This is such a personal question. I don't like Squarespace but that doesn't make it bad, and I'm sure Sarah would love it if I ran this website on Squarespace because in so many ways it is easier - but it's not easier for me.
But here's an easy answer: if all of this nerd talk freaked you out - Squarespace or Wordpress.com is probably for you. They both have free trials, so give them a go.
Finally, if this freaked you out too much then don't be afraid to 100% outsource your website to someone creative (I recommend Robey because I love him, not because he gives me anything) ... but let me encourage you to take the opportunity to learn how to do this. It's so empowering to take charge of business efforts like web design. Just keep on learning how to do it better.
### Are you starving yourself because you won't turn left?
This week I've been in Vancouver, British Columbia, for two marriage ceremonies and it has been an amazing experience, with the one caveat: in Canada they drive on the incorrect side of the road. You might think this has everything to do with my ability to drive on the right hand lanes on the road whilst sitting on the left side of the car (ok, that's a little bit of the issue) but the main problem is that I actively avoid turning left.
Turning left from the right hand side of the road is the hardest activity for my brain to contemplate.
Everything in me screams that it is dangerous, it's wrong, and I should avoid it at all costs.
So as I was driving home close to midnight last night, after a sunset 7pm ceremony on Vancouver Island which involved two hours of driving and a 90 minute ferry ride, all I wanted was to eat dinner before passing out in a bed at my Airbnb.
Without turning to my friend in Apple Maps I thought I'll just drive until I find somewhere that's open.
It wasn't until I'd passed the third restaurant on the left that I realised that I was subconsciously avoiding turning left and there were no open restaurants on the right.
I was starving and wouldn't turn left to save myself.
I wonder how many of us are making subconscious decisions based on it being too hard - despite relative ease (turning left is like turning right but you have to try and not hit other cars while doing so, some might say it's like turning right in Australia).
Are Instagram Stories (or Instagram itself) seemingly too hard so you actively avoid publishing them? Is electronic bookkeeping, invoicing, and accepting credit card payments too hard for you at the moment? Maybe moving to an online booking process, and away from paper processes, is your turning left?
What business improvements have you been avoiding because they're too hard?
I believe that calling out our struggles and our weaknesses is step one to confronting them and either tackling them, paying someone else to tackle them, or learning how we can tackle them.
In my own business I know that there's a number of "turning lefts" that I've been avoiding. Some are regular to-do list items that I've left too long, and some are long term goals to reduce expenses and improve our processes.
What is your turning left? Call it out in the comments and maybe even some of them are things Sarah or I could help with.
### Parents' names on the NOIM. Part 2
I've written previously about listing parents' names on the NOIM, and I've had some follow up questions (from a celebrant who had totally read the first post, yay!):
1) Recently received a NOIM by email (interstate couple) where the Father is listed as 'Unknown' - should I be clarifying if this is actually the case (even though I don't have to see evidence), as opposed to the party just preferring not to list? OR am I able to simply rely on their statement?
2) In the case where a person does not wish to include one of their parent's names (eg: a party who has renounced a parent and would prefer to write 'unknown' or write a step-parents name) should I be advising that they must include their biological parent's name (even though I'm not required to see evidence)?
To be honest, this area is quite contentious at the moment (for reasons I'll outline below) so I'm going to answer these questions in two ways: what the Guidelines 2018 tell us, and what I think should be best practice. I will be following up these issues with the AGD and will let you know if/when I get some clarification.
Both questions are related, pertaining to recording essentially inaccurate information on the NOIM. The big difference between the questions is the celebrant's knowledge of the inaccuracy.
Recording Unknown when there is a name on the party's birth certificate
The Guidelines 2018 (at p28) tell us celebrants do not need to see evidence of the parents' names, and that not all parents are listed on birth certificates. So my interpretation of the Guidelines is that no, a celebrant does not need to clarify whether the party does not actually know who their father is, and that yes, a celebrant can rely on the party's statement.
Having said that, I've heard of one case in Queensland recently where a party who was born in Queensland, but presented their celebrant with a passport as proof of date and place of birth, recorded their father as Unknown on the NOIM. Because BDM had access to that party's birth record (because their birth was registered in Queensland), they could see that there was in fact a father's name listed on the birth certificate, and they refused to register the marriage until the documentation was corrected.
I've also heard of a case in Western Australia where again passports were produced to the celebrant, but the party spelt their parents' names differently from the way they were spelt on the birth certificate (the Guidelines 2018 say parties should record their parents' names the way they know them). Again, the BDM accessed the birth record and refused to register the marriage until the marriage documentation was corrected so the spelling of the parents' names was in line with the birth certificate.
As far as I'm concerned, the BDMs overstepped by refusing to register the marriages with the documentation provided, but that's not really for me to make a decision on. The problem is that the Guidelines give us guidance that is in accordance with the Marriage Act (and with the Commonwealth Attorney General's Department's interpretation of the marriage legislation), without consulting with the State BDMs around the country, and is therefore out of step with some BDMs' processes. The AGD may argue that there was a month-long consultation process for these Guidelines, but this paragraph about parents' names was added in response to (my) feedback received during the consultation, and as far as I'm aware BDMs were not asked to review the new version before it was published.
Given this conflict, it may be prudent for celebrants to ask further questions of a party who records Unknown on the NOIM.
The celebrant's knowledge of an inaccuracy on the NOIM
The other issue raised by these questions is the celebrant's knowledge of inaccuracies on the NOIM.
Imagine this: a party comes to a celebrant and says they don't know who their father is, they produce a passport for proof of date and place of birth, the celebrant asks if their father is listed on the birth certificate and the party says absolutely not. The celebrant has done the right thing by asking questions of the party, but given celebrants are no longer required to see birth certificates as proof of date and place of birth (and the Guidelines 2018 say celebrants don't have to see proof of the parents' names irrespective of whether a birth certificate is produced), all the celebrant can do is accept the party's statement. In this case, the party is committing an offence under s104 of the Marriage Act 1961 by giving defective notice.
Now imagine this: a party comes to a celebrant and says they don't know who their father is, and produces a passport for proof of date and place of birth. This time, however, when the celebrant asks if their father is listed on their birth certificate, the party says yes, but I've never met him and I don't want him listed on my marriage documentation. Unfortunately, you can't un-know what you know. If the celebrant now accepts a NOIM with Unknown written in the father's name field, the celebrant will also be committing an offence under s104 of the Marriage Act 1961 by receiving a notice they know to be defective. If the party refuses to give the celebrant the father's name, insisting that they want Unknown written there, the celebrant must not accept the NOIM and must not agree to marry the parties. The penalty for such an offence is 6 months jail or 5 penalty units.
Now this is tricky, because the first celebrant is going to lose the booking, and the party has now learnt to tell the next celebrant that no, their father is not listed on their birth certificate. There may be an issue when the documentation reaches BDM, and the party could be charged with an offence, but the second celebrant won't have committed the offence.
It's the same situation with a party who wants to list their step-father. If they come clean with the celebrant and say, "this is my step-father's name, he never adopted me, but he raised me and I want to list him," the celebrant must insist that the biological father is listed instead, otherwise they are committing an offence by accepting a NOIM they know is defective. If the party simply says, "that's my father's name," all the celebrant can do is accept the party's statement. Again there may be an issue when the documentation reaches BDM, but the celebrant won't have committed an offence.
(Of course if the step-father has adopted the party, they become the legal father and therefore can be listed on the NOIM with no problems.)
I personally would always recommend that a party lists their parents' names in accordance with what is written on the party's birth certificate. I am yet to come across a situation where a party admits to me that they know someone is listed on their birth certificate but they refuse to provide that name to be recorded on the NOIM. I hope that if I do come across such a case, I will be strong enough to refuse to accept the NOIM!
I also don't know if this heavy-handedness from the BDMs is nationwide or if it is restricted to Queensland and Western Australia. Queensland has stated they will be putting out some guidance to all Queensland celebrants about how parents' names are to be recorded, which will be difficult because it is likely to conflict with the guidance in the Guidelines 2018, and quite frankly, we don't answer to BDM, we answer to the Commonwealth AGD. Watch this space, and I'll update you if any further information comes out.
### Proof of divorce: what, when, how?
A celebrant asks:
Divorce certificates. They just get me confused as to what I need to sight, how I need to sight it and what I definitely need to record. What I'd really like clarified once and for all is:
-- Do I need to see the original certificate?
-- If it's from a different country, what do I need to look for?
-- If my couple got divorced in a country that doesn't use English as its main language do I need to see a certified copy of the certificate?
-- If one/both of my couple got divorced in Australia and don't have a copy of the certificate, where do they apply for this?
Divorce certificates can be super confusing, not least because the way they've been issued in Australia has changed multiple times. So I'll take these questions one at a time, and hopefully things will become clearer!
Before I jump in though, the first point is to note that it's entirely up to the celebrant to decide whether or not they are satisfied that the party is free to marry. AGD won't help, BDM won't help, the onus is completely on the celebrant.
Do I need to see the original certificate?
I know this won't be a popular answer, but it depends. It depends on when it was issued. Page 49 of the Guidelines 2018 includes a super useful table about the types of divorce evidence issued in Australia:
When divorce granted
Required evidence of divorce
5 January 1975 to 1 July 2002
'decree absolute'A 'decree nisi' is not sufficient
1 July 2002 to 3 August 2005
'certificate of divorce'The certificate will include the wording of decree nisi/absolute, but the document is called a certificate of divorce
3 August 2005 to 13 February 2010
'certificate of divorce'Wording on the certificate will refer to a 'divorce order'
13 February 2010 to 17 December 2011
'divorce order' Issued electronically with no colour seals or signatures
Since 17 December 2011
current: 'divorce order' Issued electronically with colour seal and signature. A celebrant may accept a divorce order where seal and signature are not in colour.
So if the divorce was granted before 13 February 2010, you need to see an original hard copy document. (The Marriage Act doesn't specify original, and I'm always happy to see an appropriately certified photocopy, but that's a decision for each celebrant to make for themselves.)
If the divorce was granted after 13 February 2010, the documentation was issued electronically, therefore there is no original hard copy document to sight. You can see the electronic version or you can sight a printed out, hard copy version.
If it's from a different country, what do I need to look for?
This is a super tricky question to answer, because not only does every country do things differently, but also states within some countries may do things differently (I'm looking at you, USA). However, I'll try to give you some ideas of things I look for.
some information about the jurisdiction where the decision was made (e.g. name and address of the court and name of the person who made the decision)
some wording about the dissolution or termination of a marriage
some wording suggesting that a divorce was granted on X date
some kind of official looking seal or stamp
if it appears to be a photocopy, certification that it's a true and accurate copy of the original.
No one at AGD or BDM will be able to tell a celebrant whether or not an overseas issued divorce certificate is legit. If a celebrant has concerns about the legitimacy of a document they are given, they are well within their rights to ask the party to contact the relevant embassy or high commission to seek written evidence that the document/s provided are appropriate evidence of divorce in that country. This is not the celebrant's job! It is up to the party to get this advice and provide it to the celebrant.
If my couple got divorced in a country that doesn't use English as its main language do I need to see a certified copy of the certificate?
I think the question here is actually about a translated copy rather than a certified copy of the certificate, and the answer is yes. As with any other document provided by a couple, if we can't read it how can we know it's legit? If a party provides a celebrant with any document, including a divorce certificate, written in another language, the celebrant needs to ask the party to provide them with a translated copy. Best practice is to seek a NAATI translation, but a translation by an official overseas body is also perfectly acceptable.
If one/both of my couple got divorced in Australia and don't have a copy of the certificate, where do they apply for this?
This one's easy because I already wrote about it! Check out my post about how a party proves they're divorced.
Hopefully that has cleared up a few concerns! Let me know in the comments or in a separate question if you have any further questions!
### One month notice period: we won!
Some of you will have been following my post about the updated guidance received on the one month notice period. If you haven't had a chance, feel free to review it before you read on.
I'm absolutely thrilled to announce that this morning at 11.40am I received the following email from the AFCC (of which I'm a member):
The Marriage Law and Celebrants Section (MLCS) of the Attorney-General's Department hosted a teleconference in regard to the recent advice provided on giving one (1) month notice this morning, which Irene Harrington, Stacey Maguire and Ant Burke participated.Following an approach by Associations and many celebrants, the MLCS sought further clarification from the Office of Corporate Counsel in regard to their previous legal advice.This has now been reviewed and the MLCS have advised the recent legal advice was incorrect and the original interpretation on the one month period still stands as reflected in the current Guidelines [emphasis added]. In other words, celebrants should apply the one (1) month notice period as previously applied.The MLCS will host further teleconferences today with the various BDMs, RTO's and OPD training organisations to advise the above and will then forward a new draft fact sheet to Associations for review before sending it to all celebrants soon after. I would like to thank all AFCC members who made contact directly with the MLCS as requested to express their concern, as this ensured the outcome now achieved.
I am absolutely floored that the AGD has backed down on this, but completely delighted. People power actually works! I'm absolutely not the only person who fought this new guidance, but I'm still feeling pretty chuffed at having played a part in common sense prevailing.
Yay!
### Getting your start in funerals
Mercy asks:
Like you I want to create beautiful funeral ceremonies. Because I think funerals can be beautiful. An assignment in my celebrant course had me visit a local funeral director with a bunch of questions on how they work with celebrants. The funeral director I met was uncharacteristically young and cool, and he said to come back when I have a business card. Which I've done. But how do I approach other funeral directors? One other I did go and visit was very friendly and I could tell he liked me but also felt my lack of experience would prevent him from booking me. It's different when it's not the clients so much who are finding you, but other professionals. Any suggestions?
Getting into the world of funeral celebrancy is so, so, so difficult. I am yet to meet a busy funeral celebrant who developed a marketing plan and made it work. For every single person I've spoken to, it's been about being in the right place at the right time. All I can do is tell you what I personally have done, and hopefully some ideas will come out of it for you :)
After completing my Cert IV in Celebrancy in July 2013, I undertook a short course in Funeral Celebrancy in August the same year. I knew I wanted to be a celebrant who provided all kinds of ceremonies, not just marriages, so taking a funeral course was important for me. I wanted to know the ins and outs of creating an appropriately sensitive funeral ceremony, and of working with funeral directors.
I'd heard during the face to face component of my course, and in conversations with busy funeral celebrants, how difficult it was to get a foot in the door with any funeral director. They have their favourites who they rely on, they get bombarded with calls from wannabe celebrants every day, and they're unlikely to take a punt on an untested person. Nevertheless, I persisted with my training, knowing I would make it work somehow.
Even during my course I had trouble finding a funeral director who would give me any time; I lived around the corner from a branch of a well known funeral company and I managed to interview the manager there on the phone for a few minutes, but when I asked to come and watch a ceremony he said he'd need to check with the family and never got back to me. *sigh*
I got my marriage celebrancy registration at the end of October 2013, conducted my first wedding on 2 January 2014 (they found me on the Attorney General's Register of Marriage Celebrants), exhibited at an expo on 3-4 January 2014, and I was off. I had no problems at all attracting wedding clients; it was easy when you were going straight to the source. I conducted 21 weddings and booked 46 in my first year as a marriage celebrant. But funerals proved to be just as elusive as I had been warned they would be.
During that first year I went to two funerals that strengthened my resolve to conduct my own funerals. One was for an old work colleague who suicided, and it was held in a Catholic church. The service went for more than an hour, but included only about five minutes about the person who'd died. It was awful. There was a lot of sermonising about how God had called his child back to his arms, but there was certainly no mention of how or why she died in such a tragic manner. Ugh.
The second funeral was for a boy I'd grown up with; his dad was my dad's university friend and had introduced my parents to each other. There's a long and tragic back story, but he died of a heroin overdose at his own "getting out of prison" party. I was gutted; I knew he was out of prison and I hadn't done anything to try to reconnect. I offered to do his funeral, free of charge, but his parents decided it was most appropriate for their Anglican minister to conduct the service. In the last years of his life this boy had converted to Islam, and to me it was completely inappropriate to have a minister of another religion conduct his funeral. His family didn't announce the funeral in the newspaper or anywhere else, and they didn't tell his friends about it, because they didn't want "any trouble"; his friends weren't afforded the opportunity to farewell him. The service turned into an opportunity for the family to say what a difficult child he'd been and how they'd tried their hardest but he was just too much hard work. It was awful, and I will never really forgive them for it.
So I was determined that I could do better than that; I just needed an opportunity to show someone. In early December 2014 I got the call: a woman I'd done some admin work for earlier that year rang me as her mother-in-law had passed away, and did I think I could do the funeral? As awful as it sounds, I was pretty damn elated! Here was my first opportunity to get some experience and get in front of a funeral director!
I worked really hard on that funeral, meeting twice with the family, seeking advice from my funeral mentor and other celebuddies, and being completely honest with the funeral arranger that this was my first time. She was great, talked me through anything I was unsure of, calmed me down when I was nervous before the ceremony, and made me a copy of the video of the ceremony. A few weeks after the ceremony I received a lovely handwritten letter from the deceased lady's husband, thanking me profusely for my wonderful work. Despite all of that, I never heard from that funeral director again. *sigh*
In May 2015 a celebuddy called: a groom she'd married in December the previous year had died, and she'd been asked to conduct his funeral. She hadn't done a funeral before, she hadn't even done a course, and she wanted me to send her some resources. No problem, I did just that. Then she decided she wasn't actually up to it, so she suggested to the family that I do the funeral instead. So my second ever funeral for was a perfectly healthy 36-year-old man who'd dropped dead at work one day for no apparent reason. There were over 350 people at the service, which included multiple speakers, a photo slideshow, and plenty of music. At the end of the service the funeral director approached me, saying what a great job I'd done and asking for my card. I thought this is it! Someone actually wants to work with me! Three and a bit years later, I've only heard from that funeral director once. *sigh*
I did contact him in early 2016 to say I was leaving my part-time job so was a bit more available for work; he told me that all new celebrants needed to be vetted by the "celebrant manager" of his company. So I made an appointment, went and met with said "celebrant manager", took my two scripts and talked through my approach with him, and he agreed to put me on "the list" of approved funeral celebrants for all of Invocare in Victoria. Great! I'm on the list, surely my phone will start ringing now! No, no it didn't.
It was over a year between funeral bookings, but in August 2016 the mother-in-law of a wedding venue owner I was friendly with died, and she asked me to conduct the funeral. Coincidentally the funeral director was the same as the one I'd worked with at funeral number two; he remembered me but didn't have much to say, however his wife also worked with him and she was also at that funeral, and she booked me for funeral number four a few months later.
In November 2016 I decided I needed to make a concerted effort at marketing myself to funeral directors. I had a few funerals under my belt, and some scripts and testimonials I could show off. Plus I'd done over 150 weddings and I was sure that had to count for something. I rang every funeral director within a 15km radius of my house, and only two agreed to meet with me. One of those cancelled the meeting on the day of and never responded to my requests to reschedule. The other met with me, but she was already using my dear friend Fiona as a celebrant, and I knew she would be the first port of call.
There was one other funeral director with whom I had a lengthy phone chat at the time, but he never responded to my emails about a meeting. In January 2017 I followed up with him, and he was deeply apologetic; they'd had their busiest month in their history of their business in December, but he'd be delighted to meet with me now. Having worked for a big chain for a long time, he was now working for his father's independent funeral company, and was keen to get some more younger celebrants on his books. I went to his office and we talked for almost two hours; we just clicked, and it was lovely, but he warned me that 85% of their work was religious ceremonies, so although he was super keen to use me, I might only hear from him a couple of times a year.
In February 2017 it finally started. The FD I'd had a lengthy meeting with booked me for two ceremonies over a three-week period. Having followed up and met with him just a few weeks earlier, I was in the right place at the right time, and although he only books me sporadically (because most of his work is religious funerals), we have an excellent working relationship and friendship. I conducted my largest ever funeral for him; it was for a 56-year-old man who died in a motorbike accident. There were over 600 people in attendance. There ceremony involved 20 speakers and four separate photo slideshows, and went for two hours. When I rang the FD the next day to make sure he was happy with my work, he said, "Sarah I don't need to give you feedback; I trust you implicitly and you never let me down."
In April 2017 , Fiona was busy one day when the other FD I'd met with needed her, and suggested she call me. I was in the right place at the right time. I now not only conduct funerals for that company, but also help out with audio-visual requirements at religious funerals, and create slideshows and order of service booklets for them. I have my own email address with them and I even went to their Christmas party last year.
In June 2017, an old work colleague's father died and asked me to conduct the ceremony; the FD ended up being the one who'd cancelled on me the morning of our meeting and never rescheduled. He told me that over the preceding few weeks he'd started hunting for a new young, female celebrant because he didn't like the behaviour of his current one anymore. I was in the right place at the right time for him, and he now says I am his number one female civil funeral celebrant. I even officiated at his wedding a few weeks ago.
I attended every funeral industry training or networking session I could find. One of the women I'd called in November 2016 ran a conference in February 2017 that I attended. I still couldn't pin her down for a meeting, but she ran a few other training sessions for funeral celebrants in that year, all of which I attended, and in January 2018, completely out of the blue, she booked me for two funerals in the same week.
There is a funeral director who is also a marriage celebrant and attended one of the OPD sessions I taught last year. She's used me on several occasions this year as a funeral celebrant. There's been a few more times when I've been requested by the family and therefore been exposed to a new funeral director; when I see those FDs at networking events I make sure to go and say hi, and they're always pleased to see me and have a chat.
I'm finding that my preference is to work with independent and family-owned funeral companies rather than the big chains such as Invocare, but quite frankly I'll take funeral celebrant work from wherever it comes. I'm not in a financial position where I can say no to a funeral simply because it's come from one of the big corporate providers, and I don't agree with the notion that "all funeral directors are evil". The funeral directors I work with, whether for a corporate chain or an independent company, are all compassionate, sensitive people who want the best for their clients.
I know I create and perform beautiful funeral ceremonies, and I know I can make a difference to a grieving family. I still have a lot to learn, but this year I've done funerals for people ranging from a 22-year-old murder victim to a 97-year-old who died of old age. I'm yet to be booked for a baby or child's funeral, but I know it will come, and when it does I will be ready. I continue to take every opportunity to learn (I'm taking the six-day intensive Silver Celebrants course next year) and network. Although I'm certainly nowhere near being a full-time funeral celebrant, I did 26 funerals in 2017 and today I'll do number 17 for 2018. I know the work will come when the time is right.
So what's the take away from all this?
Don't bother spending too much time and energy trying to market yourself to funeral directors before you've done a funeral; they won't book you until you have some experience.
Tell everyone you know that you're a celebrant and make sure they know you're available for funerals. Almost every funeral celebrant I know got their start by performing a celebrant for someone they knew.
Network, network, network. Go to as many industry events as you can find and meet as many people as you can.
Continue learning all the way through your career. Attend conferences, workshops, courses, whatever kind of training and personal development you can find. There's always something new to learn, or at the very least you'll find that you're happy with the way you're currently doing things.
It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. ;)
I'd love for other funeral celebrants to tell us about their experiences in the comments!
### What to do about crying
Here's a fun one for you guys. How do you deal with crying? I'm currently studying and in my performance assignment, my "bride" burst into tears and I realised I was totally unprepared for what I imagine is a very common occurrence. Do I just hand her a tissue and keep going? Do I wait until she regains composure? Do I try cracking a joke? Do I devise a "safe" word with the couple before the ceremony? I don't want to embarrass anyone by drawing attention to it or making them feel bad about their reactions, but I also want to make sure they have a wonderful ceremony and can be present in the moment. How do long-time pros handle the floods of emotions from the couples – crying, uncontrollable giggling, nervous twitches? I'd love to know your techniques and any other thoughts from celebrants in the comments section.
Alison
Personally I'm a big fan of tears in a wedding ceremony, it's a visible symbol that the couple aren't dead inside and that the marriage ceremony means something to them.
But as I thought more about this I do have a few things I do to help the moment pass organically.
If the tears are getting in the way of the person reading their vows and I get the feeling that they can't get past them, I'll invite the crowd to show them some love. A round of applause or a cheer sometimes is enough to encourage you forwards.
If the moment allows I'll step aside from the ceremony and let the couple hug or kiss and calm each other down. This is real life, no need for me to make it more awkward.
Finally, if they seem embarrassed by the tears I'll vocally encourage them, either personally or on the microphone that its ok to cry, that it means they're human, and that they're alive and that this matters to them.
How do you work with a party to a marriage ceremony losing their composure? Comment with your ideas below.
### Where I stand during the ceremony. Sarah's view
Ann asks:
Sarah, I've just had a quick look at your website. I noticed you usually stand to the side of your bride and groom, not behind them. It looks really good. I imagine when you first started you tried all spots to stand and this was the best? Any hints on this Sarah?
You're absolutely right Ann, it took me a bit of trial and error and a lot of talking to other celebrants to figure out where I was most comfortable standing during the ceremony. Let me take you through how I worked it out! But first a reminder that this is the way it works for ME; I'm not saying it's right or the only way, I'm not saying the other ways are wrong (even though I will tell you why they don't work for me), I'm simply letting you know that this is how I prefer to operate. Want to know how Josh operates?
When I first started as a celebrant, during my training in particular, I thought all celebrants stood in what I call the "traditional priest position": between and slightly behind the couple. That's the way I was trained, it's what I assumed from the movies, and it's where the celebrant who inspired me to become a celebrant stood.
Traditional priest position. Please excuse my crappy drawings; hopefully you'll get the idea!
Then I went along to my first wedding officiated by a "younger" celebrant; I had just been registered and Danielle Binaisse was being a huge help to me, and she let me come along to one of her ceremonies. She stood next to the couple, which at the time, quite frankly, I thought was a bit weird. I didn't understand it, and it wasn't in keeping with what I was used to. So I asked her why she did it that way. She said she liked the couple to spend some time facing their guests (while she was standing next to them, they were standing next to each other rather than facing each other) while she was telling their story etc, so they could enjoy the reactions of their favourite people. She also said from that position she found it easy to present both to the couple and to the guests.
Next to the couple
I still thought it was a bit weird, but I tucked it away in my memory for further consideration.
By that time I'd started following other celebrants on social media, and attending some networking events put on by associations, and I started hearing about some celebrants who stood at the end of the wedding party. They felt they were then out of all of the photos of the couple and their attendants. Some of them also said they created a point of focus for the couple, their attendants, and their guests to watch, so that the couple didn't feel all eyes were on them for the whole ceremony (some couples are very anxious about having everyone looking at them). Again, my personal feeling was that it was weird, but I tucked it away for further consideration.
At the end of the wedding party
My first "big" wedding was in March 2014 (my first two weddings were essentially legals only ceremonies, so no need to stand anywhere), and as I'd been taught, I stood in the "traditional priest position". Throughout the ceremony I was distracted by the groom blowing his beer breath in his bride's face (he thought he was hilarious; she wasn't quite as convinced), and by them talking and laughing to each other. But the wedding had been generally an unpleasant experience (that's a story for another post) so I just chalked up my discomfort standing in that position to the general discomfort of the wedding.
The following week I had another wedding, and this time I had more to say as I was telling the couple's story. Again I stood in the "traditional priest position." And I hated it. I hated having the couple as a barrier between me and the guests; I didn't feel I could present to or engage with the guests in any way while I was reciting these gorgeous words I'd spent so much time writing. All I could see was the couple standing in front of me, and I could see that for them facing each other for that length of time was becoming awkward; they pretty much looked anywhere except at each other's faces. I vowed then and there that I would never stand in that spot again.
The next wedding I decided I was going to try the "next to the couple" arrangement I'd seen Danielle use. I encouraged the couple to face their guests for the opening of the ceremony and only face each other for the vows and rings. I stood next to them but not between them, and I felt so much more comfortable. I could present to and engage with both the guests and the couple; I wasn't in the middle of all of their photos (there was space enough for the photographer to zoom in and just get pics of the couple); and I was still next to them if they needed anything (there were definitely some requests for tissues during that ceremony). I had found my spot!
I usually stood between the groom and the best man; I had seen some photos of the wonderful Andrew Redman standing between the groom and the best man, and because he was wearing a similar suit, he looked like a groomsman. Now it was highly unlikely that in my wardrobe of black dresses I would ever look like a bridesmaid, but I still wanted to avoid that, as well as avoid standing on the bride's dress, so my preference was to stand between the groom and the best man.
Yes, my PA is in a very ugly spot here; the chapel at Bramleigh Receptions is tricky for PA placement!Photo: Michael Briggs Photography
Standing between the groom and the groomsman.Photo: Lucy Spartalis of She Takes Pictures He Makes Films
During the vows and the rings, I moved to stand behind the person speaking so I could hold the microphone for them, but I still didn't stand between the couple; I would hide myself behind the appropriate person as much as possible (obviously I will never be able to completely hide myself behind a person, but it's the thought that counts!).
Standing behind the person speaking to hold the microphone and feed her the ring ceremony wording, a few words at a time.Photo: Yarra Valley Wedding Photography by Rick Liston
Standing behind the person speaking to hold the microphone while he reads from one of my handmade vow cards.Photo: Michael Briggs Photography
I was still curious about the "end of the wedding party" choice. I wasn't convinced about the "not being in any photos" thing; I felt that they couldn't get married without me, and there would be hours of opportunities for them to have photos without me in them, so I wasn't too fussed about being in some of their ceremony photos. I felt like I might be too far away from the couple if they needed anything; I see part of my job on the day is to look after the couple as much as it is to present their ceremony, and if I was at the end of the wedding party I wouldn't be able to hear them if they needed to ask for a tissue or for a pause to collect themselves etc. But I was interested in the opportunity for a different presentation style, one where turning to face the couple wouldn't mean turning so severely away from the guests. But I wasn't entirely prepared to move away from my preferred option.
Until one day I had to. The groom had his twin brother as the best man, and just as the processional was about to start he whispered to me, "I really need to stand next to my brother for support, can you please swap with him?" Sure thing; I'm all about whatever the couple wants and needs. I decided that rather than standing one removed from the groom (who had six groomsmen) I would take myself down to the end of the line and see how it felt. And I hated it. I felt so removed from the couple, I didn't feel like I could engage with them at all, and it didn't feel any easier to present than my usual spot did.
I wasn't keen on standing in that position again, but a couple I worked with in 2017 asked me to. At the rehearsal I was showing everyone how we would stand, and I moved to the bride's side this time because she had one less bridesmaid than the number of groomsmen (I like to balance things out wherever I can). The groom said they'd worked so hard to choose bridesmaid dresses that complemented the bride's dress, and he didn't like the look me in the middle of that. So I moved to the end. Again, I hated it. I couldn't see the couple from where I was standing; there was limited space and if I'd moved forward out of the line of bridesmaids, I would have blocked the view of some of the guests.
Standing at the end of the bridesmaids.Photo: ATEIA Photography & Video
So I'm back to my preferred position, between one party and their attendants. If there is only one attendant on each side I'll often stand at the far end of them, because then there's only one person between me and the couple and I still feel like I'm close enough to engage with and look after the couple. But any more than that, my preference is between one party and their attendants for the majority of the ceremony, behind the speaker to hold the microphone for vows and rings, and get the hell out of the way for the kiss :)
When it comes down to it I actually move around quite a lot during the ceremony, and I think that it's important for celebrants not to feel "stuck" in one position. It's okay to move to where we're needed at any given time. Our feet are not concreted to the ground!
For all new and continuing celebrants out there, feel free to give different things a shot and see how they feel. A lot of the way I present my ceremonies has been decided through trial and error over the last almost five years, figuring out what feels comfortable for me and my couples. Of course if a couple has a specific preference, and they're not convinced by my explanations for my preferences, I'll go along with whatever they want. But all things being equal, I have a way I like to do things, and I'm sure you will all figure out your preferred way of doing things too.
### Getting your financials in order
A pertinent question today as many of us look at last year's financials and taxes and we're in a place where we can make a real effort to make sure our life in July 2019 is a happier one:
I just did my tax and I'm very frustrated!!! I need advice on what software or system to use to make it easier. Most I see are not designed for a sole owner operator that has not registered for GST (I earn less than 75k); they seem too complicated. I know what I earn and spend this shouldn't be so frustrating. But I never know what category to put things in. I don't know. What do you use? I have a subscription to 17hats I thought that might help but its basically designed for America.
The GST question isn't overly important in this issue; most software today can easily adapt to changing to being GST registered, but the question of what software to use, and how to use it, is important.
But before we talk about those systems, here's some really good advice:
Really good advice for every single person reading this
Get an accountant. A good accountant. Not a bookkeeper, not your dad, not your offspring, a good registered, proper accountant that knows their shit.
If you don't have one, ask for a recommendation, I'm even happy to refer mine - many of my friends have George as their accountant now and we're all very happy. I only really talk to him about 2-3 months before the end of the financial year, then as we do our taxes, and if I have questions about my accounts through the rest of the year.
An accountant is different to a bookkeeper. I didn't know this when I started, an accountant is a real qualification and if they give you incorrect or bad advice it can end up in court. A bookkeeper is someone you might hire if you can't do your own accounts (and by doing your own accounts I mean creating invoices and entering expenses into a system of some kind), but systems like we're talking about below are slowly putting bookkeepers out of business.
Systems designed for a sole trader
When I was a sole trader I used Quickbooks Online and was happy enough with it, but I had seen a few automations that were available only to Xero (at the time in 2015) and was keen to move to the new kid on the block. Anyone that knows me knows I like a new toy, even if that "toy" is an accounting package.
In my business we are now a family trust with a company as the trustee and we reached that decision through consultation with our accountant and also probably because Britt didn't like being referred to as my employee :).
Burt regardless of your business structure I believe that Xero, Quickbooks, Wave, and Freshbooks are all appropriate systems. I know that amongst Institute members all four of those systems, and more, are being used. I can personally only attest to Xero today, but I would only recommend it because it's what I use, not because it might be better than others.
Difference between accounting and CRM software
Many customer relationship management (CRM) software packages have invoicing features (like Studio Ninja, 17Hats, or Tave) but that doesn't make them an accounting package.
The ability to invoice is great, but when it comes to end of year financials you want to know what came in, what went out, and what's left over, and CRM packages don't have to do that job.
What I do
The best advice on what you need to do will come from your own personal accountant, but I'll lay out some of my financial system, and I hope that it can help you lay out yours.
Systems first
Before we have a software package we need a system. Once you have a financial system we'll wrap a software package around it.
My system starts with separating business finances from personal finances. I have separate bank accounts for business cash, and a separate credit card for business expenses.
Bank accounts
I have a transaction account and a savings account. The transaction account is for all money in and out, and then every week I put money aside for tax because I don't want any surprises come tax time.
Separating business money and personal money, even if you're a sole trader, allows for clarity of mind and separation of church and state. My personal recommendation is that you "take a wage" from the business, even if you're a sole trader and obviously all profits are "wage" but the clarity allows you to track payments and expenses without the noise that is your grocery shopping and a friend transferring $20 to cover dinner when you went out last week.
Paying money, aka expenses
I put all of my business expenses on a credit card for two reasons:
Frequent flyer points. I'm a points guy and can talk about this until the end of time. I love it.
Recording expenses. For all significant purchases I receive email receipts and archive them in my Gmail email account and for less significant purchases I keep the receipts in a box, probably never to be seen again. But the instrument for both of these types of expenses is my business credit card. If there's a transaction on that card then it's obviously a business expense. So in my wallet are two cards, a personal credit card and a business credit card, and depending on the type of purchase, and my knowledge of what is a business expense as allowed by the ATO, I swipe/tap/insert the credit card that suits. And the ATO has ruled that the credit card statement is also proof of that expense. But keep the receipts anyway. If you are looking to pre-fill your tax return, try using the ATO’s deductions app.
Both my decision to have a separate bank account and a separate credit card will make more sense as you see they sync up nicely with my future decisions on software.
Receiving money
There are three ways that I want my couples to pay me, and two are preferable.
PAYID. This is the new system for bank account transfers. Instead of telling people your BSB and account number you can now tell them your PAYID and the money goes straight into your account instantly. If you really want to try it you can send me money to hello@marriedbyjosh.com and I'll let you know I received it. (Please note that I am joking, and if you send me money you're either in on the joke and wish to just send me money for no reason or you haven't read this: don't send me money) also (PAYID isn’t available too all banks and banking customers yet)
Credit Card Payment. I love giving my couples the opportunity to pay me via credit card because I'm sure plenty of them are hoping for the same opportunity that I would be: to collect points on their wedding purchases. It's also important to respect their financial decisions plus many of them might be financing their wedding on a credit card, or even having family pay for the wedding using their credit card. (This topic has already been covered in this post.)
Bank transfer. This is the old multi-day method of transferring money and I'm looking forward to dropping this option in a few years.
PAYID
As to whether or not PAYID (I think some banks call it Osko) is available to you, and what your actual PAYID is you will need to check with your bank, but I recommend having a click around your internet banking profile or settings page and seeing what you can set up there.
Credit Card Payment
Gone are the days of needing to become a credit card merchant and having an EFTPOS machine at your house. Simply sign up for Stripe, Braintree, or Square (I use Stripe because Xero supports it) and they will accept all the VISA, Mastercard, and American Express payments for you, then transfer them to your bank account in one or two days time.
Stripe's fees are 1.75% so depending on your business model and how you make decisions, you can either swallow the charge and make it part of your business plan, or on-charge it. I personally recommend swallowing the fee and increasing your total fee by the credit card fee. If you charge $500, the credit card fee is $9.05, so increase your fee to $510 and everyone thinks you're a hero. For a $1000 transaction it's $17.80, so increase your fee to $1020.
Our current business structure is such that we on-charge it.
You might be wondering how we actually allow clients to pay us with a credit card? That question is answered when we start looking at accounting packages.
Bringing all of that together into an accounting system
If you're set up with separate bank accounts and a credit card for ins and outs, along with a Stripe account for receiving payments, you're ready to integrate all of this into an accounting system.
If you're already a Quickbooks, Freshbooks, or Wave user please jump into the comments of this article and let me know if my advice works on that platform or not.
I use Xero because my accountant likes it, I like it, Britt likes it, and it does everything we need it to.
Accounts
With the help of Xero's setup assistant, Google, my accountant, and my common sense I set up a general ledger of accounts that would suit my business.
Xero integrates with my bank automatically importing transactions from my transaction, savings, and credit card accounts so every morning the past days transactions are waiting to be reconciled and categorised.
I have revenue/sales accounts for the different facets of my business so I can track how each one goes.
I have expense accounts that line up with the different categories of ATO approved deductible expenses.
I have a motor vehicle expenses account that my accountant knows I have a log book for so 91% of those expenses are a business expense for the next five years.
Generally speaking, my general ledger matches my real life finances.
Invoicing
My booking system is home brewed using my Wordpress website, Gravity Forms, and Zapier. But you might be using a CRM like Tave, Studio Ninja, or 17Hats. Some of these packages will integrate with Xero (I believe at least Studio Ninja does) and will create invoices for you automatically like my home brewed system does.
But in the end you want to be able to send an invoice from Xero to your clients email. Xero can also be set up to automatically email before and after a due date so invoices are paid without any hassle.
If you've integrated Stripe into your Xero settings then there'll be a big fancy green pay now button so your client will receive the invoice on their phone, open it, click pay now, and by either entering their credit card details, or using Apple Pay or Google Pay, instantly pay you and you haven't had to lift a finger.
Xero literally makes me money because invoices are paid without me doing any extra work.
Transferring money around
I pay off my credit card each week because I'm not using it for its credit facilities, I'm using it for its insurance, points, and statement facilities, so in Xero when I transfer money from my transaction account to my credit card that's called a Transfer.
This is the same type of transaction as when I move money into my savings account.
Paying yourself
Transferring money out of your business into your personal account like you might do if it was a wage is called "Owner funds withdrawn" and if you transfer money from your personal account back to the business that's "Owner funds introduced".
Paying staff, contractors, or other people
Paying other people in your business should fall under one of the regular accounts in your general ledger if they are a contractor invoicing you, but if you're planning on bringing on a staff member - not a contractor - you'll want to seek your accountant's advice on this - but Xero has a wages module. I used to pay Britt like this.
GST
If you start earning more than $75,000 a year you'll need to register for GST and business activity statements will become your new best friend every three months. Around this time you'll definitely need to consult with an accountant but my only advice is to have that GST you've collected, saved up. So many people are unprepared for their GST when it's money you've already received.
Cash or accrual
On setting up an accounting system, you'll be asked if you are operating on a cash basis or an accrual basis.
Cash basis means you pay tax on the cash you've received and you claim deductions on cash you've spent.
Accrual means you pay tax on the money you expect to earn, and claim deductions on expenses you expect to have.
Your accountant will give you better advice than this, but I'm almost certain that every celebrant in Australia will want to operate on a cash basis.
Saving for tax
Many confuse the words tax, GST, and BAS. Through this confusion we often end up at tax time with no money saved to pay your tax bill with so I wanted to round out the discussion with a simple explanation.
GST and BAS are things you worry about after you earn $75,000 a year or more in your business (this does not include income from other sources like a job).
GST stands for goods and services tax, and it's a 10% tax Australian businesses collect on behalf of the government for goods and services offered in Australia. Celebrancy is one of those services. Expenses you have in your business would also render a GST that other businesses collect and if you pay any GST as a GST collecting business that GST you paid is actually refunded back to you. So if you're a GST registered business and you collected $100 GST (on a $1100 income) and you paid $10 GST (on a $110 expense) you now only owe the tax office $90 at the end of your quarter on your BAS.
BAS stands for business activity statement and it's the record of the GST you've collected and then GST you've paid. If you have staff it also records your PAYG tax you've collected for them.
Tax is what I refer to outside of the GST, and I mean personal income tax. For money you earn over about $18,000 (whatever the tax free threshold is at the time you read this article) you pay income tax on. At the end of the financial year the tax office expects this from you.
This is no doubt obvious, but the important thing to remember is that you only pay tax on profit, not revenue. That's money left over after your allowable deductions (like paying for a Celebrant Institute membership - which also includes GST by the way).
Again, please be saving your 10% GST and about 30% income tax so that your end of quarter and end of financial years aren’t a surprise!
Wrap up
Basically, do your due diligence and learn the ins and outs of your business financials. This article is in no way a conclusive guide to business financials, but I hope it's a good primer, and it encourages you to seek out an accountant, and start tracking your business finances through a system like Xero.
### The podcast about the wedding porn
We chat about the importance of exchanging value and not simply expecting things for free, we give a rundown of what we've written about for the Celebrant Institute over the past month, and we talk a bit about Vic BDM's new online system (spoiler alert, it's coming "soon").
00:04.14 Consolidating photos, systems and using Dropbox.
00:11:45 Expecting something for nothing, and why its not OK. Value those that assist you with their intellectual property, and how.
00:32:35 The Celebrant Institute progress, what's on there currently.
00:41:16 The what, when and how of Social media as a celebrant.
00:48:49 What's coming up on The Celebrant Institute, and a call out for questions.
00:52:50 Victoria BDM update.
00:55:24 Electronic lodgement in Queensland BDM is coming.
00:56:18 Why you must still get three documents signed.
### Answering "How much do you cost?"
Amber asks
Leading from the price on website debate - how do you answer the "How much do your services cost?" enquiry?
I try to start a conversation and speak about value and the experience but sometimes it is just frustrating. For example, l had the following conversation with a Mother of the Bride today. (l have edited out some chatty bits ????
MOB: How much do your services cost?
ME: Are you looking to get married, have a wedding or some other ceremony?
MOB: My daughter is getting married and the only day they had available was (18mth away)
ME: Ok, great. Where will the ceremony be?
MOB: (local venue)
ME: Awesome. Does your daughter live local to (venue)?
MOB: Yes
ME: That is great. I would love to have a chat about what they are after. I don't have a "one price fits all" because every couple and ceremony is different. When would be a good time for me to call your daughter?
MOB: She said a ruff price we already have quotes around $x so if your more than that we don’t want to waste your time.
ME: I understand. My prices start at $x - this is for a legals only ceremony. Let me know if you would like more details or a chat to see if l am the right person to be part of their special day. ????
MOB: Legals only ceremony not sure what you mean Is that like short and sweet ceremony?
ME: It can be. A 'legals only ceremony' is more about the services you require from me. It includes 1 meeting for the paperwork and a ceremony including the legal wording. It does not include a planning meetings, personalised ceremony, rehearsal, pa system, music supply, travel etc.
It is suited to people that want to get married, not necessarily have a wedding.
MOB: Oh ok (insert cricket noises here)
Reading through - l think now l should have done 2 things:
1. Asked more open questions.2. quoted her my highest possible fee in my first message and saved my time.
So, Sarah and Josh - how do you answer the "How much do your services cost?" enquiry?
In May 2019 my celebrant authority turns 10 and I've been thinking about this question for most of it, and I've come to a a succinct theory of selling.
Only people with that rare extreme level of confidence should submit themselves to allowing their value and worth to be communicated in a forum like a phone call, email exchange, or instant messenger conversation because it takes a finely tuned sales ability to accurately communicate a price that is directly related to your own time, effort, and self-worth.
So if you're not that person, don't submit yourself to that process.
As you've already referenced, Sarah and I have talked about pricing on websites last month, but I think that's just half the answer.
Creating a customer journey
The real solution is to craft a customer journey that all potential and eventual customers take to experience your services.
Part of that journey is discovering your fee, and discovering that fee is part of a process where your value and worth has been also communicated alongside your differentiators so that that price discussion is removed from the "choosing the cheapest celebrant" discussion it sounds like mum is having.
Getting people onto your customer journey
Most of us accept phone calls, emails, Facebook messenger chats, and Instagram DMs, which can seemingly be out of line with having a customer journey.
The secret is to have multiple entry points that allow all of these people to have the same experience.
Website visit: the is my ultimate entry point, and where I'll send everyone else.
Phone call: I'll take the call and discuss availability, but I'll end the call on this note: "to find out about my fees, services, and packages, please visit marriedbyjosh.com and download my information pack"
Social media messages: Pretty much the same as the phone call but I'll end with a link to marriedbyjosh.com
Preserve your sanity
Hold your sanity, time, and your soul close to your heart, protect them and don't let that "how much" conversation destroy you. I send them to my website so they experience my carefully created customer journey. If they don't like that journey, or the fees, they're not my people and they get the choice to let themselves go - which is a much kinder experience than me letting them go by meekly saying "Seventeen hundred dollars" on the phone with a reply of crickets.
### How to publish Facebook ads that work
I don't know.
If there's anything you can expect from me today and into the future is that I'm not going to talk BS. The good news is that I know as much about Facebook advertising as most marketers and advertisers do, and they don't know either, because there is no one perfect ad that will close all the deals and make all the bookings. So as much as I don't know how to publish Facebook ads that work, I do know how to publish Facebook ads that work for me, so I'll take you through that process and also weave in some professional best practises and see if we can't help you.
On the side of all this, I'll reference Facebook ads but what I really mean is most social media advertising.
Who is this ad for?
A simple and obvious question you might think, but in all my years working in commercial radio I learned pretty quickly that most radio ads aren't for potential customers. Most of the ads you'll hear on radio are for the advertisers. When you hear a radio ad with the business owner's voice in it, its because they want to hear themselves on the radio. They want to turn up to business networking events and have their friends tell them that they heard the new ad on Hot FM.
Even more than the boasting rights, they'll hear their competitors on the radio and want to be heard more than them, so they spend more so they are heard more.
Which is ludicrous right?!
The biggest advantage you get with Facebook ads is that you don't see them and your friends don't see them (hopefully). So now that you're not trying to show off or keep up with the Joneses.
So as you craft a boosted post or ad, don't write it to make yourself feel good, write it so it accomplishes what you want the ad to do.
What do you want this ad to do?
A purpose-filled ad will go far, but an ad without purpose, an ad without a reason to live will die.
Ask yourself these questions about the potential advertisement:
How do you want people to feel when they consume it?
How would you like them to react when they consume it?
How are they likely to react when they consume it?
How would you react if it popped up in your feed?
Where in their wedding-planning journey do you think they possibly are when they consume it?
Is it likely they would see the ad then pay your booking fee straight away?
Is it likely they would consume the ad and actually do nothing but leave with a greater knowledge about who you are?
If all they did was like/follow your page would that be money well invested?
If you received their email address as a result of this ad, would you be a good steward of their personal contact information?
What do you want this ad to do?
Test, test, and test again
As I mentioned in the intro, there is no one perfect ad. There are thousands, and they're all being tested by the advertising agencies.
A smart advertising agency isn't launching one ad, they're launching many, then measuring their impact on the last section (What would you like this ad to do?) and then running the ads that perform well on that metric more, and the ads that aren't performing,
The secret is to deploy ads readily, give them a little bit of fishing line (budget) to hang themselves on, and if they start performing, roll out more line (budget).
A/B Testing
You'll see many big agencies and advertising blogs talking about A/B testing, which is a more formulaic way of my testing method above. I don't use A/B testing only because I use A/B/C/D/E/F/G/H testing. Posting a large number of small budget ads and seeing which ones float.
Boosting versus "placing an ad"
Clicking the boost button on a post is the expensive, easy, and convenient way to put yourself in front of more people. so if you've got spare money, do that.
But if you want to be wiser with your ads, dive into the Facebook ads manager, create either a fresh and new advertisement, or in the Facebook ads manager create an ad out of an existing post.
Play with the audience targeting, experiment a little, play with the remarketing features, and have some fun.
Give each ad a little bit of line, and see where it goes.
What works for me?
Personally, I view my ads as "tribe creation" not "lead creation" because I think it's highly unlikely that a couple will see my ad, instantly click it, enquiry, find out ?I'm available and instantly book. That might work for some industries, but not in the wedding industry where couples are crafting personal and intimate experiences and the team involved in creating those experiences need to be qualified. Not industry qualified - couple qualified. A team that the couple feels comfortable with and they trust.
So my ads don't advertise discounts (for the love of god will everyone stop discounting!), I don't offer deals, I don't do "book now and blah blah blah" offers. I simply offer myself, my expertise, my worldview, and my experience up to couples in my targeted demographic and hope they resonate with me, and that they're intelligent enough to know that if they're getting married then maybe I'm a potential candidate for a follow.
And if they're not smart enough to join those dots then I'll leave them to the celebrants advertising their services for $200 on Gumtree.
Basically, I'm looking to craft ads that are very much created in the same spirit as my regular social media posts. Ads that encourage people to investigate me, who I am, and what I'm about. Ads that encourage people to solicit an opinion and post it in the comments. Ads that encourage people to either love me or hate me.
Further Facebook ads education
My friend Mel highly recommends Facebook's Blueprint education service for people looking for technical training on how to use the Facebook advertising platform, and after looking at it, I love it to.
Check it out at facebook.com/blueprint or the "Creating an ad" training is here.
### Finding a mentor. Sarah's view
Jo asks:
In an earlier podcasts (I think top tips for new celebrants) you talk about finding a celebrant mentor and see if you can go along to some ceremonies.
I am super keen to make this happen but where do you suggest I start to find a mentor? I am not yet finished studying (hopefully the end of Aug) so haven't yet signed up to a professional association. Is it best to wait till I am done and have jumped through the AG's final hoops? If so, what do I do? Stalk a celebrant who's style I admire? Ask some friends who have had ceremonies to refer me?
Would love some advice so I can hit the ground running and learn from the wisdom of those before me.
First up, a big thanks to Jo for listening to the podcast. I'm glad you're enjoying it and getting something out of it!
I haven't checked with Josh about whether or not we have different opinions on this (he's on a mountain somewhere in New Zealand as I write this) but it's eminently possible that we do, so I'm making this post my view, and he can post his if he has a different one!
My celebuddies
I've just re-listened to section in the Top Ten Tips for New Celebrants edition of the podcast where we talked about finding a buddy or a mentor (mostly so I could remind myself what the hell I was saying); for those of you who haven't listened, I was talking about the importance, particularly early in your career, of finding an experienced celebrant who's happy to answer your frantic questions about legal stuff, who might be prepared to refer some work your way, and who could even be kind enough to let you watch them perform some amazing ceremonies. For me, this person was Danielle Binaisse (thanks Dan!), I will be forever grateful to her for fielding my questions and being so kind to me as I started on this new career path.
I knew about three celebrants before I decided to become one; one was an old friend of my grandparents who had performed three funerals for my family (she's still the person I call when I have a super tricky funeral question); one was a friend of my mum's, and one was the marriage celebrant who had inspired me to become a celebrant in the first place (thanks Geoff!). But these three people were all older than me and worked very differently from the way I thought I would work. I was lucky enough that Danielle and I shared a mutual friend who introduced us; she was the first "younger" celebrant I met, someone who was a similar age to me and practised celebrancy the way I wanted to. That's how I found my first celebrant buddy (or celebuddy, as I like to call them).
But not everyone has a friend who knows a celebrant (although you should definitely tell everyone you know what you're doing so if they do know a celebrant, they can introduce you), so how else can a new celebrant find celebuddies? I'm happy to say Jo is on exactly the right track with her ideas.
Networking
At another point in that same podcast episode, I talked about the value of networking, and that's how I met most of my other celebuddies; through wedding industry networking events, through meeting suppliers at expos, through celebrant association meetings, and through getting involved in wedding industry and celebrant-specific Facebook groups. Last year I went to eight wedding industry Christmas parties (yep, I'm that celebrant who will pretty much go to the opening of an envelope). I can't stress this point enough; I estimate that within one or two degrees I'm connected to every celebrant in Melbourne, and I put that down to my focused approach to networking.
It's paying dividends now with my training work; a lot of those celebrants I've met through networking over the years now attend my OPD sessions, refer me to people wanting to become celebrants, and a lot of them support me through membership of this website :)
Follow (stalk) on social media
Following celebrants you find interesting on social media is another great way to meet celebuddies. He may not remember this, but that's actually how I originally met Josh. I started following Josh on Facebook while I was still studying for my Cert IV in Celebrancy in mid-2013. In November that year, after I'd been registered, I went to business networking event run by local council, and I was telling someone there that I'd just become a celebrant; she said, "oh do you follow this guy called Josh? He's from Queensland and he's amazing at telling his story on social media."
In January the next year, when I was exhibiting at my very first expo (where I met my closest celebuddy, the wonderful Fiona Garrivan), a couple told me they didn't need my services because they were getting married in Queensland. So I gave them Josh's name instead, and that evening I messaged him on Facebook saying hey, hope you don't mind, gave this couple your details, I'm new and don't know many people. He was so welcoming, friended me on Facebook straight away, and started adding me to various celebrant-specific Facebook groups. We chatted in those groups, we emailed a bit, and when I was heading to Brisbane in the July for work, I asked if I could buy him a coffee. Turned out he was running his very first celebrant workshop that weekend, and he invited me along. I met a bunch of amazing celebrants that weekend, some of whom I'm still in constant contact with.
Another lovely celebuddy of mine, Mez Crookes, reached out to me in this way. I'd noticed this Mez person commenting on a lot of my Insta and Facebook posts; always saying such lovely things. Then out of the blue one day she rang me, saying she'd been following me for a while, thought I looked nice, and thought she'd ring to see if I wanted to get together for a coffee and a chat. Mez is one of my favourite people now, and our lovely friendship started because she was brave enough to call someone she followed on social media and admired.
So yes, what I'm trying to say is this is a great way to meet potential celebuddies. Follow the people who look like your people. Comment on their posts, give them a few likes, even share their stuff (with credit of course) if you think it might be valuable to your followers. Engage with them and their work.
Ask for referrals
This one is such a great idea of Jo's; ask people you know who've been married if they can introduce you to their celebrant. To be honest, this never even occurred to me, probably because I hadn't been to many weddings at which celebrants had officiated. But I think it's awesome! They're your friends, so hopefully they like the same stuff you do, and hopefully they might have chosen someone similar to you as their celebrant. It's an excellent start!
And then what?
So there's a lot of ways to meet potential celebuddies. But once you've met them, what next? Get in touch with them! Offer to buy them a coffee if you can pick their brain for an hour. Get to know them. Build a relationship with them. Do this the right way, with generosity and openness in your heart (and few expectations), and you'll have them offering to help you be the best celebrant you can be.
A word of warning: don't just come right out and ask for stuff and expect it to be handed over (like the requests I often get of, "can you send me a bunch of ceremony scripts?" or "can you help me with this tricky legal issue?" from people I've never met or engaged with). As a new celebrant, naturally there isn't much you can give in return. That's totally fine, this type of relationship isn't necessarily an equal sharing of knowledge or experience. What you can give is support and friendship, a coffee or two (please don't ask someone to help you out and then make them pay for their own coffee), and the promise to pay it forward when you're more experienced yourself.
Jo should definitely not feel she needs to leave this process until she's a registered celebrant. I met Danielle while I was still studying, and I started following other celebrants on social media pretty early on too. Start identifying the people you might want to befriend now; building relationships takes time, so start now and once you're registered you'll be in a great position already. I was attending wedding expos just to have a look and get ideas in the time between doing my course and being registered, and I met at least two celebrants at those expos who I then asked out for coffee, and they're still friends today (hi Charis and Melissa!).
There's also no limit on celebuddies; don't feel like you need to find ONE mentor and you'll be set. We all do things so differently, and if you learn from only one other person you'll be stuck in their ways. The best thing to do is to go out there and meet as many different people as you can, pick as many brains as you can, and collect as much information as you can. All of that great info will swirl around in your mind, giving you ideas to try out in your own practice as a celebrant, and you'll have a great foundation to start from.
Good luck!
### How to network in the wedding industry today
Networking amongst your industry colleagues, other wedding people, like photographers, venue co-ordinators, planners, and others, is a vital part of being an active member of the wedding industry. For the longest time that's why I went to wedding expos - not to meet couples, but to meet vendors.
In 2018 and beyond networking still remains vital, and those physical events like vendor nights, expos, and workshops are always going to be king - but they cost money and time, the two things we're low on.
So if you want to network cheaply and effectively, here's some food for thought - as you post on social media, you're hoping it resonates with your audience, and my rough math tells me for every like or comment, 10 other people are exposed to the post by the news feed algorithms.
So if you like and comment on my post, 10 more people see it, and more people like and comment, and I think you're a legend.
So why not do that to others. Follow local wedding vendors you'd like to network with, and genuinely like and comment posts of theirs that you like and have a comment on. Be nice, be positive, be encouraging, share advice or expert insight. Be you, actively on social media for a month, and I guarantee you that more people will know who you are.
### Use of name changed by usage for trans parties
A celebrant asks:
I'm marrying a couple next year - Party 1 is female; Party 2 is a transgender male. What I want to clarify is that if Party 2 has neither a birth certificate or passport in his common usage name that's not a problem as long as I am satisfied he is who he says he is. For example, is it enough that I know people who know him, and that he is listed on his employer's website? My sense is that it is ridgy didge, but wanted to check that I'm right.
This celebrant's thoughts aren't quite right, and the answer is similar to the one I posted not long ago about a bride's birth certificate name not matching her identification documents name.
The fact that this party is transgender is completely irrelevant for this situation (and in fact it's completely irrelevant for pretty much all situations to do with marriage now that we have marriage equality). Breaking it down to its most simplistic base, this party has a birth certificate in a different name from the one he uses in day-to-day life. We don't know from the question what name his photo ID might be in. There are two separate issues at play here; which name he wants to use on the marriage documentation, and whether the celebrant is satisfied as to his identity.
Names to go on the NOIM
In usual cases, a party would list the name from their birth certificate on the NOIM (and other marriage documentation). If they want to use a different name on the NOIM, they should be advised to legally change their name through BDM and present a change of name certificate or new birth certificate to the celebrant. If they refuse to legally change their name, they may use their new name as long as they can show the celebrant some evidence they're using it (so photo ID or other documentation in the new name; the listing on his employer's website may satisfy the celebrant). The celebrant should provide them with written advice as to the difficulties they may experience in obtaining future identity documents if all of their previous documents don't match.
Being satisfied as to the identity of the party
If the party has a different name on their birth certificate than that on their photo ID, because the photo ID is in the name they have taken by usage, the celebrant needs to be satisfied that the birth certificate belongs to the party in question. This celebrant could certainly argue that knowing other people who know the party, and being able to see his name on his employer's website, satisfies them of his identity (it would be even better if the employer's website had a photo of him along with his name). Personally I would want to see photo ID or 100 points of documentation in his current name to satisfy myself of his identity, in line with the suggestion in s4.12 on pp51-52 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018. The level of evidence to be satisfied about identity is up to each celebrant, and celebrants need to be able to justify their decisions if they are ever questioned about the validity of a marriage.
I would anticipate that in this instance the party may well have changed his name legally and have all the appropriate documentation to back it up; the one transgender party I have married did indeed have an updated birth certificate in her preferred name and a driver's licence in the same preferred name, so there were no issues for me at all. I'm hoping this celebrant will have the same outcome.
Legal stuff
The requirement for celebrants to sight proof of date and place of birth is outlined at s42(1)(b) of the Marriage Act 1961, and is further discussed at pp43-46 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
The requirement for celebrants to be satisfied as to the identity of the parties to the marriage is outlined at s75 of the Marriage Act 1961, and is further discussed at pp51-52 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
Information on names to be recorded on the NOIM (and other marriage documentation) can be found from p30 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018; the relevant parts for this question are s4.5.10 on p32, s4.6 on p32, FAQ6 on p35, and FAQs7 and 8 on p36.
### The Facebook opportunity
Facebook, owner of Facebook but also Instagram and WhatsApp, is pushing hard to get more advertisers on its platform. In last week's earnings call they made two statements which stood out to me:
“When we think about Instagram, we think we have a great opportunity: 25 million Instagram business profiles, 2 million advertisers, we see both anecdotally and in the data that this is a great place for people to become aware of a product in the first place,” she added.
and then on the "Stories" medium which is on Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp
We have 400 million people sharing with Instagram Stories, 450 million of people with WhatsApp Status. Facebook is newer, but we’re seeing good progress there. The question is will this monetize at the same rate as News Feed? And we honestly don’t know, we’ll have to see what happens. There are good reasons to be very optimistic about the monetization. The opportunity—full-screen authentic, very engaging, different formats than feed—gives us an opportunity to grow.
Facebook is giving you direct access to people that want to hire you. People that need you to be their celebrant are waiting for you to invest in reaching them on Facebook's platforms ... not through magazines, directories, blogs, expos, or fairs. Direct to them, no middle man.
The age of the middle man is dead.
The middle man still serves value in some areas, for example I even run a small directory that leverages my position in the market. But the investment is small and the return on investment is high.
But when it comes to magazines, there's not a wedding magazine in the country that is performing well. They're all struggling, financially, but also in reaching the same people you can reach directly on Facebook.
### Names in the legal vows
Jac asks:
I have a bride who no longer uses her birth name for anything except forms. Her invites use her preferred name. She has actually said it’s causing her anxiety that her birth name be used during the ceremony.
Am I right in saying that during mandatory vows we need to use birth certificate names (as they appear on the NOIM), however nicknames can be used everywhere else, unless of course she has officially changed her name (which it sounds like she hasn’t).
Can I also put the pressure on and say that 1. It won’t be legal and 2. I could lose my registration if we did not use her full name at least once?
Names are so tricky, but the rules outlined in the Guidelines 2018 are pretty clearcut.
Before I talk about the use of names in the legal vows, I wanted to mention that of course this bride would be welcome to legally change her name to her preferred name through BDM. Then she could use her preferred name on the paperwork and in the legal vows. However if she doesn't want to do that, the Guidelines 2018 outline the rules for which names should be used in the legal vows.
The legal vows, those contained in s45(2) of the Marriage Act 1961, are:
"I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. ( or C.D.), take thee, C.D. ( or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife ( or husband, or spouse)";
or words to that effect.
The interpretation of the meaning of A.B. and C.D. outlined in the Guidelines 2018 is that these terms refer to the parties' full legal names, as entered on the NOIM (and other marriage documentation). Where the celebrant has stated the full names earlier in the ceremony (I like to do this in my introduction), the parties can choose to use only their first or first and middle names.
However the Guidelines 2018 are clear that nicknames (or preferred names) alone should not be used in the legal vows, but can be added to the legal names in the vows:
Nicknames alone should not be used for the vows. However, shortened names or nicknames may be added to the names used in the vows. For example ‘...I, Elizabeth Jane (Liz), take you, Peter John (Buddy)...’.
Nicknames can absolutely be used everywhere else in the ceremony, as long as the full legal names are used at least once before or during the legal vows.
So this bride has two choices:
she can change her name legally through BDM and use her preferred name on all her marriage documentation and during the ceremony, or
she can (frankly) suck it up and accept that her full birth name will appear at least once during the ceremony (sorry, low level of sympathy for this one!).
In terms of what leverage Jac can use to convince this bride that her legal name has to be used in the ceremony at least once, she's well within her rights to suggest that the ceremony won't be legal or that she could lose her registration if it's not done. Although both of these things are highly unlikely, like 99.99% unlikely, sometimes dropping a bit of legalese can help in these situations. I also suggested to Jac that she show the bride the quote above, which can be found in s5.7.8 on p71 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
### What should we do on social media? Part 3
A member asks
When chatting with celebrants recently I heard again and again that most celebrants aren't really that interested in following the general Instagram "best practice" advice that you see on social media blogs/podcasts. Most people a) don't want to invest the time and energy to go down the Pinterest-style heavily-curated aesthetically-pleasing path, and b) think it's bullshit anyway. They don't want to follow a posting schedule, they may not even post very regularly. I think most celebrants just want to post photos that they like, when they have them - but want to maximize the appeal/reach of those posts and spend the least amount of time on them. Can you share any practical little hacks to shave a few minutes and a few headaches off your posting/planning time.
There's a reason Facebook and Instagram have personal and business accounts. There's a place for you to post what you like, and a place for you to post content that has a positive on your business.
This is part one in a three part series, part one on why, part two on what and part three on when.
How much should we post?
Social media accounts with an intent on growth in followers and reach post at least three times a day. Less than 30% of your followers see your posts, and posting amazing content three times a day is a growth strategy. Personally I'm not that energetic, but once a day is my goal, plus a handful of stories documenting what I'm doing.
But when it comes to quantity, lets go back to our categories:
Posts branding me
Helpful/value-adding posts
Posts about others
Here's a simple strategy for how much of each: 3-2-1.
3 posts adding value to your couples, posts that help them, entertain them, add value to their lives, a completely generous act
2 posts about others, about how they help, how they're awesome, and what you love about them
1 post about you, a selfish indulgence to showcase what you are, who you are, why you matter.
When should we post on social media?
This final point matters equally as much as it doesn't In the age of non-chronological timelines on Facebook and Instagram (that means that you don't see the posts as they are posted), we're now subject to algorithms (maths) deciding what you see. So timing matters less than frequency and engagement on the posts.
So think less about timing and scheduling posts and instead worry about creating content that will be commented on, content that people will find value on, content people will like.
The secret word I just mentioned is about engagement: when is your following active? For the wedding industry that's generally between 6am and midnight, when they're commuting, at work, at home, watching TV. There's nothing easy in regards to timing, just post good stuff.
### What to do when the name on a birth certificate is different from that on the photo ID...
A question came to us:
I am marrying a couple of brides this week and when I talked about the ID I'll need to witness beforehand, one piped up that her name on her Birth Cert is different to all other ID but she's never officially changed it. So her photo ID is going to be different surname to her Birth ID. She doesn't have a passport. I thought I'd need to use her original name on all marriage docs (for avoiding future issues with passports etc) but am I correct or can I use her preferred surname even though the paper-trail lacks an official name change?
I rang the celebrant about this one because she needed an answer urgently, and it turned out it was even more complicated than first thought!
The celebrant had accepted the NOIM electronically so hadn't met with the couple to sight their ID at the time of lodgement. She had plans to do that and then the couple brought their wedding forward by several months (with only a week's notice), so suddenly sighting those documents became urgent. After telling the celebrant about the name discrepancy, the bride also admitted that she'd lost her purse along with all of her photo identification except for a student card. So there were a lot of issues to unpack!
Name discrepancy between birth certificate and photo ID
In normal circumstances, if the party's birth certificate had a different name on it from their photo identification, you would need to ask to see a chain of documents to support the change of name. This bride didn't have such a chain of documents, so the next step would be to advise the party to apply to the BDM in the state in which they were born for an official change of name.
Some people don't want to go through a legal change of name process; they are quite happy with having changed their name by usage. As long as they have some evidence that they are using the new name (such as a driver's licence, a Medicare card, etc) the Guidelines 2018 reluctantly allow them to use the new name on the marriage documentation. In this case you should provide them with written advice about the problems they may have applying for identity documents, including passports, in the future if all of their documents don't match up. It would be prudent for you to keep a copy of that advice on file, and to submit a copy to BDM along with the marriage paperwork, along with a covering letter explaining the discrepancy.
In this particular case, if the bride had been able to supply a birth certificate in one name along with a driver's licence in another name, the celebrant would have been able to put her new name on the marriage documentation as long as she provided the party with written advice of the trouble she may have in the future.
Requirements to prove date and place of birth, and satisfy the celebrant of a party's identity
It wasn't that simple though, was it?!? With no government-issued photo identification available, the celebrant needed a new plan.
A quick recap. Celebrants are required to see documentation that supports two things: proof of date and place of birth, and identify. We see a passport or a birth certificate to prove date and place of birth. We are also required to satisfy ourselves as to the identity of the party; if a party to a marriage gives us a birth certificate to prove date and place of birth, how do we know that birth certificate belongs to the person sitting in front of us? The easiest way to determine this (and thereby satisfy ourselves as to the party's identity) is to see a form of (preferably government-issued) photo identification that has same name on it as the birth certificate, and shows a photo of the person sitting in front of us. Passports of course are the best, because they contain both the date and place of birth, and a photo of the person sitting in front of us (they just don't have parents' names on them, and you'd be amazed how many parties I come across who do not know how to spell their parents' names).
Where we are sighting photo identification, the Guidelines 2018 suggest sighting at least one of the following documents:
a driver's licence
a proof of age/photo card
an Australian or overseas passport
a Certificate of Australian Citizenship along with another form of photo ID (such as a student card or other photo ID not listed above).
Sighting photo identification, however, is a best practice recommendation; it is not required by the Marriage Act. The Guidelines 2018 set out more information on this, which I've covered in my analysis of what's new in the Guidelines, but the salient point is this:
If a person is not able to obtain any official photo identification as evidence of their identity, celebrants may consider whether other evidence, such as a document which provides sufficient information to identify the person, such as their name, address and possibly date of birth. Government issued documents are recommended, for example, a letter from the Australian Tax Office, Centrelink or Medicare card and a rates notice.
Simply put, even if a person doesn't have any photo ID, if they have a bunch of other documents that have the same name and other identifying information on them, you can probably be pretty satisfied that that's their name and thus satisfied as to their identity. Personally I would want to see 100 points' worth of documentation in such a case.
So in this case, the only photo ID available is a student card (which isn't enough on its own). First I would suggest she try and obtain a proof of age card (from Australia Post) or a replacement driver's licence, but if there wasn't time for either of those, I would be wanting to see 100 points of other documents with the bride's name on them. It wasn't even a case of just using the name on the birth certificate here, because this bride didn't have any other identification documents in her birth name; they were all in her new name.
Taken together...
Taking these two separate but connected issues together, along with the timing issue, my recommendations to this celebrant were that:
the bride should attempt to legally change her name through BDM; some BDMs provide a priority service and there may have been time for that to occur AND the bride should attempt to obtain a proof of age card or a replacement driver's licence
if there was no time to get any appropriate photo ID, the party would need to supply sufficient other documentary evidence of her using her new name to satisfy the celebrant of her identity
if there wasn't time for a name change, or the party didn't want to go through that process, but she still wanted to use her new name on the marriage documentation, the celebrant would need to provide the party with written advice about the problems she may face in the future obtaining identity documents.
Phew! A lot of issues in that one question, but hopefully I've covered them in a way that makes sense.
Legal stuff
The requirement for celebrants to sight proof of date and place of birth is outlined at s42(1)(b) of the Marriage Act 1961, and is further discussed at pp43-46 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
The requirement for celebrants to be satisfied as to the identity of the parties to the marriage is outlined at s75 of the Marriage Act 1961, and is further discussed at pp51-52 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
Information on names to be recorded on the NOIM (and other marriage documentation) can be found from p30 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018; the relevant parts for this question are s4.5.10 on p32, s4.6 on p32, FAQ6 on p35, and FAQs7 and 8 on p36.
### Do I need a qualified / accredited interpreter?
Candice asks:
I have a couple wanting to elope with just their parents and children present. I'm just writing because after looking at the guidelines I'm still a bit unclear and just need clarification on the use of a qualified interpreter. My couple are both deaf and they communicate via Auslan and of course their own beautiful way. Their parents are happy to sign and be there throughout our meetings and on the day. They can sign everything I say, and everything they say in return. Is this sufficient? Or do I need to advise them to organise a qualified person to come along? If the parents are okay to do this, do they still need to fill in a stat dec?
Let's have a quick reminder: interpreters interpret the spoken word from one language into another; translators translate the written word from one language into another. Now that we've got that out the way and we know Candice is using the correct terminology for her situation, let's answer the question!
Section 112 of the Marriage Act 1961 allows a celebrant to use the services of an interpreter in, or in connection with, a marriage ceremony, if the celebrant believes it is desirable to do so. That word desirable leaves a lot of scope for a celebrant to insist on an interpreter's presence, which is great news for us; even if a party speaks a small amount of English (or any other language in which the ceremony will be conducted), if we don't believe their English is sufficiently good that they can understand what's going on during the ceremony, we're allowed to insist on an interpreter being present.
The Guidelines 2018 point out that this section also applies to sign languages such as Auslan.
The only requirements for interpreters is that they not be a party to the marriage (i.e. not Party 1 or Party 2), and that they complete some paperwork before and after the ceremony. The Statutory Declaration stating the interpreter understands and is able to converse in the languages they will interpret is completed before the ceremony, and the Certificate of Faithful Performance by Interpreter is completed after the ceremony. Both forms can be found in the same document on the Attorney General Department's website.
An interpreter does not need to be accredited by the National Accreditation Authority for Translators and Interpreters (NAATI) or any other body. Interpreters can be family members or friends of the parties to the marriage.
When it comes to acting as both interpreter and witness, the Guidelines 2018 do register some concerns with this:
The Marriage Act does not prohibit an interpreter and a witness being one and the same person, however, it is recommended that the professionalism of the interpreter is not compromised by the celebrant agreeing that the interpreter is also a witness to the marriage [emphasis added].
Personally, due to the use of the word professionalism, I see this recommendation as being relevant to hired interpreters rather than family members or friends acting as interpreter. I personally don't have any issues with an interpreter who is a family member or friend also being a witness to the marriage. Remember this is a Guidelines recommendation, not an Act must, but all celebrants need to be comfortable in their own decisions and ready to justify them if need be.
Regardless of who the interpreter is, they still need to complete the required paperwork before and after the ceremony, and that paperwork needs to be sent in to BDM along with the NOIM, DONLIM and marriage certificate.
Legal stuff
The provision for a celebrant to use an interpreter in, or in connection with, a marriage ceremony is outlined at s112 of the Marriage Act 1961, and further discussed at pp72-73 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018.
### You don't know what 'word of mouth' looks like
I wanted to share a story straight from my inbox today, to show you how word of mouth actually works and how your marketing efforts today pay off for years:
I wanted to let you know how I've come across you... About two years ago we went to Queenstown for our first holiday there together. Matt had always snowboarded and done trips and I had always wanted to learn to snowboard. This was my first snowboarding adventure. I feel in love with it and Queenstown but particularly Wanaka.
We stayed at this place that provided breakfast and one morning we sat down and this couple was across from us. The pregnant lady said hi, how are you going, what are you doing today.. and I replied so excited saying about we were going snowboarding. I returned the question to her and she said 'We are getting married today!' Wow, I thought, how inspiring and she told us they were just going to randomly knock on a strangers door and ask to be married in their back yard / or on their property. This story has always stuck in my mind and I soon found this couple's photo on Instagram. I was determined to find out how their story went. I feel in love with your stories and I didn't want to 'like' your page in case my partner thought I was 'giving him hints to propose or something' haha.. I still don't follow you yet in case people see and think we are eloping. I would elope. Since this couple's story I have always wanted to exchange vows in Wanaka. We are winter lovers and mountain outdoor people.
A girl, I use to work with in Brisbane is also using you next October 2019 on the Sunshine Coast. So she always spoke to me about it. I thought this was a sign to email you!
Try and insert that story into your marketing plan?
How to get this?
How do you get enquiries like this? Do the right thing today, tomorrow, every day. Be consistent and strong in your branding and your language online.
To get this enquiry I had to first of all win over Carly and Sam, and then be active on social media for two years.
Doing the right thing on social media all day every day.
There's no shortcuts, it's just about being the best you, you can be.
### What should we do on social media? Part 2
A member asks
When chatting with celebrants recently I heard again and again that most celebrants aren't really that interested in following the general Instagram "best practice" advice that you see on social media blogs/podcasts. Most people a) don't want to invest the time and energy to go down the Pinterest-style heavily-curated aesthetically-pleasing path, and b) think it's bullshit anyway. They don't want to follow a posting schedule, they may not even post very regularly. I think most celebrants just want to post photos that they like, when they have them - but want to maximize the appeal/reach of those posts and spend the least amount of time on them. Can you share any practical little hacks to shave a few minutes and a few headaches off your posting/planning time.
There's a reason Facebook and Instagram have personal and business accounts. There's a place for you to post what you like, and a place for you to post content that has a positive on your business.
This is part one in a three part series, part one on why, part two on what and part three on when.
What content should we post on social media?
I mention in part one that my posts, and hopefully any good posts, do one of the following for my couples:
help them plan a wedding and be married
inform and educate them about weddings and being married
make them laugh/entertain them
introduce them to me and my brand
Hopes and dreams are great, but they need to work themselves out into actual content, so what follows is my content-creating brain looking at that list and giving you a bunch of content ideas I hope you steal, repurpose, and post for your own good.
Here's the important thing to remember as you post: most people see about 30% of your posts. So don't assume they do and say things like "as you saw in my last post" or imagine that they care enough to go back. Each post needs to live on its own. Secondly, generosity will go so much further than greed. So offer up all of the industry insight, expert advice, recommendations and truth you can muster up.
The three different types of posts
I like to start by categorise my content into three different types of posts:
Posts branding me
Helpful/value-adding posts
Posts about others
With those three categories down, I start breaking it out into actual content ideas.
Content ideas
Helpful and value-adding posts
Shortcuts people could take in planning a wedding
Funny observations from weddings (respectful of the couples involved)
Your own personal insight about decisions people make in wedding planning
Inspiration for wedding planning looks and styles
Funny wedding memes (stay classy ok)
Things people could skip or drop from their wedding
Ways to stay mindful and stress-free planning a wedding
Advice on how to build and grow your marriage
Insight into your own wedding and marriage that is relevant to your tribe
Think about common mistakes or problems people encounter on their wedding day that you've observed, not things you've imagined or found on a Buzzfeed list
Your views on wedding traditions and what they mean
Your insight into what weddings mean and how they could be better
DIY advice
Basically, be useful to people. Think even about the reason you're a member of this institute, hopefully it's because we bring you value through these posts. Bring value to people, with actual help, not another bloody free e-book, social media marketing is one place where if you give away the cow the right people will still buy your milk.
Posts about others
Recommend other vendors, giving them a voice to your followers, and a personal recommendation as to why they're great
Helping couples make other purchasing decisions in regards to their wedding
Anti-DIY advice because DIY isn't as easy and cost effective as you think
Help people understand the role different vendors have in weddings
Relate other vendors/peoples' works to real results and pinterest trends
Remember, most of your couples have never planned a wedding. So help them not only understand your role and value, but others as well. I've never met a person on their death bed who hoped they were less generous.
Posts branding me
Testimonies from your own couples so other couples can see what kind of celebrant you are
Snippets from your ceremonies either in video or text that might be encouraging to people's own marriages and also showcase your talent
Question and answer sessions regarding your own niche field you're the expert in
Photos of couples enjoying your services
Photos of your couples after the ceremony (see how happy they are?! you could be to!)
We're the harbinger of meaning and purpose on the wedding day, so be that person on social media
Insights into your personal life, marriage, business
Inform your followers about who you are, do it regularly, do it with variety, do it with pride in yourself - you're awesome!
In the next part of this series I'll give you a hint on what your next six social media posts could be, and also some insight as to when to post.
Share any other posting ideas in the comments, I'm sure my list is only the tip of the iceberg!
### What should we do on social media? Part 1
A member asks
When chatting with celebrants recently I heard again and again that most celebrants aren't really that interested in following the general Instagram "best practice" advice that you see on social media blogs/podcasts. Most people a) don't want to invest the time and energy to go down the Pinterest-style heavily-curated aesthetically-pleasing path, and b) think it's bullshit anyway. They don't want to follow a posting schedule, they may not even post very regularly. I think most celebrants just want to post photos that they like, when they have them - but want to maximize the appeal/reach of those posts and spend the least amount of time on them. Can you share any practical little hacks to shave a few minutes and a few headaches off your posting/planning time.
There's a reason Facebook and Instagram have personal and business accounts. There's a place for you to post what you like, and a place for you to post content that has a positive on your business.
This is part one in a three part series, part one on why, part two on what and part three on when.
What are our social media posts for?
I can't answer that question for you, but I'll tell you what my posts are for, and leave you to formulate your own social media plan.
When I post on social media I want to do one or more of the following for couples that are getting married or are married:
help them plan a wedding and be married
inform and educate them about weddings and being married
make them laugh/entertain them
introduce them to me and my brand
You might of noticed that I didn't mention selling, sales, leads, enquiries. Social media isn't for selling, just like catching up with friends at a cafe is ruined when you mention you've got a business opportunity for them and start talking about Amway.
I want my social media posts to brand me to my couples, so when they a) need a celebrant, or b) someone they know needs a celebrant, they think of me.
If you scroll through my feeds you'll notice I don't post wedding porn. (Wedding porn is my description of all the Pinterest crap that makes brides and grooms anxious about their wedding not being good enough. It has the same effect normal porn has on relationships, but on weddings instead.)
Instead of finding and regramming and reposting all of the wedding porn that will get you all the likes and followers, post content that will create a tribe of fans that ardently love and refer you.
Create content, just like you do with ceremonies, but do it for social media. In a future post I've got a page full of social media content ideas that I hope everyone steals and adapts for their own brand, and in another post I've got a social media schedule that I think you should adopt, but before you start posting, you need to get your mental and emotional ducks in a row.
Your business social media isn't for you, and it's not for other celebrants. It's for people to fall in love with you and absolutely need you to be their celebrant.
### A simple upgrade to your website and social media
A quick and easy weekend exercise for everyone today: read the front page of your website and your about page. Look at your recent social media posts and your bios on the networks.
Are you talking about the product or the user?
Successful brands talk about the user of their products. What kind of people they are, how the product makes their life better, and how they can lead a better life simply by giving you some money.
McDonalds doesn't talk about the quantity and quality of it's lettuce, or the food handling license the local council gives it.
Myer doesn't talk about how the clothing purchasers are pushing a certain line because they got a good deal on it.
Pepsi and Coke aren't talking about the sugar content or the health downsides of their drinks.
Qantas doesn't have a photo of each pilot's aviation license on their billboards.
But marriage celebrants spend vital seconds on their websites and social media talking about the boring and assumed elements of our job. Photos of marriage certificates, and long spiels about how we're a Commonwealth authorised civil marriage celebrant licensed to marry people in Australia according to the Marriage Act of 1961.
Make your marketing not about you, but about how you can make peoples' lives better.
### The do's and don'ts of email marketing
A pertinent question about building and maintain an email list today:
For anyone looking to follow your example of maintaining "an email list of all couples I meet at expos, fairs, open days, along with all who enquire with me" and sending them a weekly newsletter - are there any legal considerations or permission issues (opt in/opt out) we need to consider? Is it fine to just add any email address to a newsletter database or is there particular wording we need to use in sourcing those addresses for that purpose? Cheers.
So there's three issues to address here:
Consent to being added to a list
Sending commercial messages versus sending spam
Once you've identified that you're within the law, are you sending an email worth sending
Consent to being added to a list
My summary of the spam act and consent in regard to celebrants is that you either
seek consent via web form, contract, literally or verbally ask "can I email you"
if you have an "existing business or other relationship" so if they have begun the inquiry process with you, or have booked you, then that counts.
Mailchimp, and many other email marketing systems offer a double opt-in function to ensure that everyone is doubly-opted-in. I don't seek double-opt-in consent because I already seek consent in other forms.
Finally on consent, you can't email to ask for consent, that's spam. So unless you've sought consent or already have a relationship, then there's no emailing.
Sending commercial messages versus sending spam
There are a few technical elements of an email that stop it becoming spam in the eyes of the law:
You must identify yourself as the sender, and provide contact details, even your ABN, and contact details including mailing address. This is called sender identification.
You must provide the facility for the receiver to unsubscribe. Preferably via an unsubscribe link. This is called a mandatory unsubscribe facility.
The content of the email. This is a majorly subjective topic, but in regards to the law the subject content of the email shouldn't be a surprise. If you're a celebrant sending emails about diet shakes I would assume a judge would call that spam.
If you send spam you're breaching the law, if you send commercial messages with consent, you're ok.
Are you sending an email worth sending
This is a topic we'll explore through the Celebrant Institute for the rest of time, but I'll talk to it quickly here.
It's highly likely that zero people are sitting at their computer today waiting for an unnecessary, unhelpful, unwanted email from you today.
So if you're going to collect their email addresses, and spend the time constructing an email, let it matter. Offer help and advice they couldn't get elsewhere. Bring your expert knowledge and insight direct to couples that you already have a relationship with, insight and knowledge that the wedding magazines and blogs don't care about it because it's not a styled shoot.
Sending this email is your chance to prove that you're an asset. Don't mess it up.
Bonus tip: How to collect the email addresses
When I'm at wedding fairs/expos/events I run the Mailchimp Subscribe app (available on iOS and Android) to collect emails and add them to a separate "Events" Mailchimp list. I also have a Zapier zap running that looks for new additions to that events list, and upon finding one it sends an email with my information pack so they get my fees and packages information, adds them to my main email list, and removes them from the events list.
So when I'm standing at the expo I tell them I can send an email with my fees and packages straight away and add them to mailing list. Saves printing and messing about and it works a charm. Everyone I meet at a fair gets my fees and information plus they're added to a list and not a tree was harmed.
### New guidance on the meaning of the one month's notice period
8 July 2018
Most of you probably didn't pay too much attention to the fact sheet that was released on Friday 6 July 2018, in the email advising the new Guidelines were out. I certainly didn't until someone brought an apparent typographical error to my attention. You can have a read of it here:
Fact sheet re one month notice
According to the AFCC, who spoke to MLCS after the fact sheet was released, it is not an error but NEW GUIDANCE on how we are to calculate the one month's notice period.
I wrote this email to MLCS today. I'll keep you posted on the response...
Dear MLCS
I am very concerned about the new fact that was released on 6 July 2018 setting out new guidance about giving one month's notice, which is inconsistent with the advice provided by the AG's department since 2011. As this is causing considerable confusion to celebrants, some of whom are wondering whether they need to advise current clients who have given notice in accordance with the previously issued guidelines to seek a shortening of time from BDM, can you please clarify the situation urgently. I am teaching OPD to celebrants on 15 July 2018 and have no idea what to tell them.
Interpretation
The fact sheet refers to item 7 in the table at s36(1) of the Acts Interpretation Act and states that the if a period of time is expressed to end before a specified date, then the time period does not include that day. It also refers to two examples set out in the Acts Interpretation Act:
Example 1: A month starting on 15 December in a year ends immediately before 15 January in the next year (which I understand means it ends on 14 January).
Example 2: A month starting on 31 August in a year ends at the end of September in that year (which I understand means 30 September).
Further, the fact sheet states that having regard to the definition of a month in s2G the time period does not include the marriage day, which on a clear reading of the examples in Item 7 would mean respectively that the marriage day would be 15 January or 1 October. However, the fact sheet goes on to provide an example that appears inconsistent with the information above two examples. The example in the fact sheet is:
If the parties to an intended marriage give notice to the celebrant on 15 November, the first day the marriage could be solemnised would be 16 December.
This example seems consistent with Item 6 which provides that where a period is expressed to begin after a specified day the day is not included (which could be seen as stating that the day the NOIM is lodged is not included in that day, therefore the notice period would start on 16 November in the above example), not Item 7, the one referred to in the fact sheet, which sets out the example of the calculation of a period expressed to end before a specified day.
Communication
As this is a MAJOR change to previous advice given to celebrants, the manner in which this has been communicated is less than satisfactory.
1. The fact sheet was set out essentially as an addendum to the email letting celebrants know the new Guidelines had been released. The email simply says, "the department has published a new fact sheet". Nowhere does it say, "this new fact sheet contains a major change to the way you operate and should be very carefully read and considered."
2. The information contained in the new fact sheet does not reflect the information contained in the new Guidelines.
Nowhere in the new Guidelines is the new example stating that a Notice lodged on 15 December would mean the marriage could not be solemnised until 16 December.
Nowhere in the new Guidelines does it explicitly say, as it does in the fact sheet, "Item 7 in the table at subsection 36(1) states that if a period of time referred to in an Act that is expressed to end before a specified day, then the period of time does not include that day. In accordance with this rule, this time period would not include the marriage day. Taken together with the definition of "month" in section 2G of the Acts Interpretation Act, further examples are provided below." Instead, the new Guidelines provide an example of giving a week's notice, which is not useful in the context of the Marriage Act, which requires a month's notice.
Any examples of when a NOIM can be lodged and the subsequent marriage be solemnised have been removed from the Guidelines.
3. The interpretation of notice being given and the marriage being solemnised on the corresponding day of the next calendar month has been taught since I became a celebrant in 2013, and I believe prior to that as well, indeed since the Acts Interpretation Amendment Act 2011 changed the definition from one month and one day to one month on 27 December 2011. This change from the previous interpretation of one month and one day was explicitly outlined in multiple documents. The new fact sheet appears to have reverted to the prior 2011 interpretation of one month and one day.
The 2012 Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants outline the previous interpretation, provide multiple examples and specifically state, "The information previously provided by the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section including in the Explanatory Material on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants regarding the calculation of the one month period is no longer current." There is no such explicit statement in the 2018 Guidelines or in the new fact sheet.
The 2014 Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants similarly outline the previous interpretation, provide multiple examples, and also include the explicit statement that, "The information previously provided by the department including in the Explanatory Material on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants regarding the calculation of the one month period is no longer current. The Acts Interpretation Act 1901 was amended by the Acts Interpretation Amendment Act 2011 commencing on 27 December 2011." Again, there is no such explicit statement in the 2018 Guidelines or in the new fact sheet.
The definition of a month is the number one thing celebrants across the country struggle with, and the new fact sheet is only causing further confusion and distress, with many believing the November example provided is an error.If this new interpretation is indeed to become the standard interpretation for all celebrants:
an explicit statement needs to be added to the Guidelines and the fact sheet that previous advice is no longer current
the examples from the fact sheet need to be included in the new Guidelines together with an explanation as to how the November example is consistent with item 7
and there needs to be some explanation given about why the interpretation has changed from what has been taught by celebrant trainers across the board (underpinned by the Guidelines produced by your department) over the last six and a half years.
I look forward to receiving your urgent clarification.
Update: 11 July 2018
I have received a wholly unsatisfactory response from MLCS, which simply regurgitates the information in the fact sheet with no further analysis or answers to any of my direct points.
Dear Ms Aird
From 4 May to 4 June 2018, the Attorney-General’s Department’s Marriage Law and Celebrants Section (MLCS) sought feedback on the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for marriage celebrants.
As part of this process the department reviewed and updated the guidance provided about the one month notice period.Part 4.4.1 of the guidelines and the new fact sheet, ‘NOIM - Giving the minimum one month notice’ explain that both subsections 2G(1) and 36(1) of the Acts Interpretation Act 1901 are considered together when calculating the minimum one month notice period required in the Marriage Act.Paragraph 42(1)(a) of the Marriage Act requires the notice to be given at a date no later than one month before the marriage day. Applying the relevant rule in the table at subsection 36 of the Acts Interpretation Act in conjunction with the definition of ‘month’ in section 2G of the Acts Interpretation Act means if the parties to an intended marriage give a notice to the celebrant on 15 November, the first day the marriage could be solemnised would be 16 December.
Further examples are included in the fact sheet, ‘NOIM - Giving the minimum one month notice’.
I trust this information is of assistance.
With regard to OPD, you mention you are an OPD trainer. Panel members are aware that if their trainers have questions relating to OPD delivery they should be raised with the MLCS through the OPD panel member. This is so we can provide a consistent response to all trainers. If you have any further OPD delivery concerns, please let the OPD panel member you train for know and they can then raise it with us. I note that this year’s compulsory activity does not cover calculating the one month notice but does mention giving one month notice. You may therefore wish to mention the updated guidelines and the fact sheet on this topic if it is raised with you at the OPD you will be delivering on 15 July 2018.
If you have any questions contact us at marriagecelebrantssection@ag.gov.au or 1800 550 343.
Kind regards
Angela Tsongas
No, Ms Tsongas, this information is not of assistance. So I responded with this:
Dear Ms Tsongas
Thank you for your email, which simply reiterated the information I have already read in the fact sheet and referred to in my email.
Will MLCS be updating the 2018 Guidelines with a statement that previous advice is no longer current, and/or providing further information to Celebrants to highlight this change?
Should Celebrants who have accepted notice on, for example, 4 July for a wedding on 4 August (in line with previous guidance and before the new fact sheet was released) seek a shortening of time for such a marriage?
What will happen if a Celebrant chooses to use their own interpretation of the Acts Interpretation Act (in line with previous guidance) and solemnises marriages on the corresponding day of the month following lodgement of a NOIM?
I look forward to your response.
As always, I'll keep you posted on any response.
Update: 24 July 2018
Today I attended the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants annual conference. One of the speakers was the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants from the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section, Bridget Quayle, and they were silly enough to open her session up to questions from the audience. Going into the session I was quite determined that I'd already done enough by putting my concerns in writing, but once I was in there I couldn't help myself. I really need to work on my self-discipline.
Anyway, I asked her about the inconsistency between the two examples in the fact sheet. When I wrote my initial email to MLCS I hadn't paid enough attention to the two examples to see that one was providing advice in line with the previous guidance, and the other in line with the new guidance.
Example: If the parties to an intended marriage give a notice to the celebrant on 15 November, the first day the marriage could be solemnised would be 16 December.
This one is the new guidance; the marriage can be solemnised a month and a day after the notice is given.
Example: The notice period for a NOIM given on 29, 30 or 31 January ends at the end of February in that year. ... Therefore, for a NOIM given to the celebrant on 29, 30 or 31 January, the first day the marriage can be solemnised is 1 March of that year.
This one is the same as the old guidance; the marriage can be solemnised one month after the notice is given.
When I outlined the two examples and explained why they were inconsistent, her first response was "do you want me to sit here and read the fact sheet to you?" I said no, I already knew what the fact sheet said, and I again recited those two examples. Her next response was "that's because November has 30 days." No, the number of days in a month is irrelevant to the definition of "a month" if notice is given on a day that appears in the following calendar month. All she could say then was "do you really want me to waste time sitting here nutting this out with you?" at which point Ant Burke, the AFCC President, suggested we take this offline and leave the rest of the session to other questions.
I was quite frankly appalled that the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants couldn't understand the issue at hand. If she can't understand the definition of a month, how is a regular celebrant supposed to? She shut me down as quickly as possible. I had a number of delegates approach me afterwards, thanking me for my question and congratulating me on holding my ground. Ant has promised to speak to me further about it before taking the argument back to MLCS. Watch this space...
Update: 26 July 2018
Oh dear. It appears not even the BDMs were properly informed of this change. Here's the text of an email exchange I've had with the Victorian BDM over the past few days:
20 July 2018:
Hi BDM
Can you please advise whether the online registration system will be updated in line with the new guidance on the one month's notice period that was issued by the Attorney General's Department on 6 July?
Thanks
Sarah
25 July 2018:
Hello Sarah,
Please note that at present our online system is in line with the one month period.
Kind regards,
25 July 2018:
Hi team
I know it's in line with the old interpretation of one month, but the Attorney General's Department released new guidance on 6 July that if a couple lodges a NOIM on 15 November they can't get married until 16 December. This is in line with the pre-2012 interpretation of one month and one day. Please see the attached fact sheet for further information.
Can you please confirm whether BDM will be updating its systems in line with this new guidance?
Thanks
26 July 2018:
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your email, please be advised that we have contacted Attorney General Department to clarify the new guidance.
You will be notified once we receive reply from AGD.
As always, I'll let you know any updates...
Update: 27 July 2018
Today I finally received a response to my email of 11 July. It was a form response that I know a number of other celebrants have received, but it's a start.
Dear Ms Aird
I refer to your further email expressing concern about the revised guidance on how to calculate the minimum one month notice for the purposes of section 42 of the Marriage Act 1961.
Some celebrant representatives and individual marriage celebrants have written to the MLCS expressing concern that the MLCS has made an error in the revised guidance. We appreciate that celebrants may have concerns about the changed approach in the guidance and the new fact sheet. In developing the revised guidance, the MLCS consulted the area within the department that is responsible for the Acts Interpretation Act 1901 and also sought advice from the department’s office of corporate counsel. In other words, the MLCS sought internal legal advice.
We are in the process of arranging a teleconference with celebrant associations to discuss the one month notice period with a view to gaining a better understanding of what celebrants are concerned about.
We will write again following the teleconference.
Kind regards
Angela Tsongas
Further to this email, Peter Gourlay and I have again agreed to work with Ant Burke on a response, hopefully before the teleconference with associations mentioned in this email.
Update: 29 July 2018
Here's the text of the full response I've sent to Ant Burke and Peter Gourlay. It's an extension of what I wrote in my initial email to MLCS.
Interpretation
The fact sheet refers to item 7 in the table at s36(1) of the Acts Interpretation Act and states that the if a period of time is expressed to end before a specified date, then the time period does not include that day. It also refers to two examples set out in s2G(1) of the Acts Interpretation Act:
Example 1: A month starting on 15 December in a year ends immediately before 15 January in the next year (which I understand means it ends on 14 January).
Example 2: A month starting on 31 August in a year ends at the end of September in that year (which I understand means 30 September).
We have been told that Item 7 of s36(1) means that if a period of time is expressed to end before a specified day, that specified day (i.e. the marriage day) is not included in the period of time. The marriage day has never been included in the period of time calculated as per previous guidance, so if the marriage day is on 15 January, the notice period is 15 December to 14 January. On a clear reading of the examples in Item 7, for the examples in s2G(1), respectively the marriage day would be 15 January or 1 October. However, the fact sheet goes on to provide an example that appears inconsistent with the information above two examples. The example in the fact sheet is:
If the parties to an intended marriage give notice to the celebrant on 15 November, the first day the marriage could be solemnised would be 16 December.
The two examples provided in the fact sheet are also inconsistent with each other, leading to further confusion. One states that the notice period required is a month and a day, and the other states the period required is a month.
Explanation and example in s2G(1) of Acts Interpretation Act 1901
Example in Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants, July 2014
Example in Notice of Intended Marriage - giving the minimum one month notice fact sheet, July 2018
Mid-month notice and marriage date
In any Act, month means a period starting at the start of any day of one of the calendar months, and ending immediately before the start of the corresponding day of the next calendar month … [emphasis added]Example 1: A month starting on 15 December in a year ends immediately before 15 January in the next year.
A month starting on 15 December in a year ends immediately before 15 January in the next year (therefore the first day the marriage can be solemnised is 15 January).
If the parties to an intended marriage give a notice to the celebrant on 15 November, the first day the marriage could be solemnised would be 16 December.This example provides guidance that the marriage could take place a day later than previous guidance.
End of the month notice and marriage date
In any Act, month means a period starting at the start of any day of one of the calendar months, and ending immediately before the start of the corresponding day of the next calendar month, or if there is no such day, at the end of the next calendar month [emphasis added].Example 2: A month starting on 31 August in a year ends at the end of September in that year (because September is the calendar month coming after August and does not have 31 days).
A month starting on 29, 30 or 31 January ends at the end of February in that year because February is the calendar month coming after January and does not have 31 days (therefore the first day the marriage can be solemnised is 1 March).
…for a NOIM given to a celebrant on 29, 30 or 31 January , the first day the marriage can be solemnised is 1 March of that year.This example provides guidance that the marriage could take place on the same day as previous guidance.
Communication
As this is a MAJOR change to previous advice given to celebrants, the manner in which this has been communicated is less than satisfactory.
The fact sheet was set out essentially as an addendum to the email letting celebrants know the new Guidelines had been released. The email simply says, "the department has published a new fact sheet". Nowhere does it say, "this new fact sheet contains a major change to the way you operate and should be very carefully read and considered.
The information contained in the new fact sheet does not reflect the information contained in the new Guidelines.
Nowhere in the new Guidelines is the new example stating that a Notice lodged on 15 December would mean the marriage could not be solemnised until 16 December.
Nowhere in the new Guidelines does it explicitly say, as it does in the fact sheet, "Item 7 in the table at subsection 36(1) states that if a period of time referred to in an Act that is expressed to end before a specified day, then the period of time does not include that day. In accordance with this rule, this time period would not include the marriage day. Taken together with the definition of "month" in section 2G of the Acts Interpretation Act, further examples are provided below." Instead, the new Guidelines provide an example of giving a week's notice, which is not useful in the context of the Marriage Act, which requires a month's notice.
Any examples of when a NOIM can be lodged and the subsequent marriage be solemnised have been removed from the Guidelines.
The interpretation of notice being given and the marriage being solemnised on the corresponding day of the next calendar month has been taught since I became a celebrant in 2013, and I understand prior to that as well, indeed since the Acts Interpretation Amendment Act 2011 clarified the definition of a month on 27 December 2011. This change from the previous interpretation of one month and one day was explicitly outlined in multiple documents.
The 2012 Compulsory OPD activity stated, "The Acts Interpretation Act was recently amended by the Acts Interpretation Act 2011. Section 2G provided that in any Act, month means a period starting at the start of any day of one of the calendar months and ending immediately before the start of the corresponding day of the next calendar month ... e.g. a month starting on 15 December ends immediately before 15 January therefore the first day the marriage can be solemnised is 15 January." From the notes to OPD trainers in 2012: "The FAQ on how the one month notice period is calculated generated a lot of interest. The reason for the change from one month and one day to one calendar month is because the Acts Interpretation Act 1901 was recently amended to clarify what is meant by one month. This amendment will come into effect from 27/12/11. The FAQ now includes relevant provision of the Act which clarifies the meaning of a month. It should be noted that the Registrar does not have discretion to vary the application of the Acts Interpretation Act with regard to the one month period [emphasis added]."
The 2012 Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants outlined the then new interpretation, provided multiple examples and specifically stated, "The information previously provided by the Marriage Law and Celebrants Section including in the Explanatory Material on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants regarding the calculation of the one month period is no longer current." There is no such explicit statement in the 2018 Guidelines or in the new fact sheet.
The 2014 Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants similarly outlined the then current interpretation, provided multiple examples, and also included the explicit statement that, "The information previously provided by the department including in the Explanatory Material on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants regarding the calculation of the one month period is no longer current. The Acts Interpretation Act 1901 was amended by the Acts Interpretation Amendment Act 2011 commencing on 27 December 2011." Again, there is no such explicit statement in the 2018 Guidelines or in the new fact sheet.
The definition of a month is the number one thing celebrants across the country struggle with, and the new fact sheet is only causing further confusion and distress, with many believing the November example provided is an error. If this new interpretation is indeed to become the standard interpretation for all celebrants:
an explicit statement needs to be added to the Guidelines and the fact sheet that previous advice is no longer current
the examples from the fact sheet need to be made consistent with each other
the examples from the fact sheet need to be included in the new Guidelines together with an explanation as to how the November example is consistent with item 7
there needs to be some explanation given about why the interpretation has changed from what has been taught by celebrant trainers across the board (underpinned by the Guidelines produced by your department) over the last six and a half years (new internal legal advice is a confusing reason given the previous interpretation was surely based on internal legal advice; if the administrative lawyers within the Attorney General's Department can't agree on the correct interpretation, what hope do celebrants have?)
BDMs across the country need to be informed about the change (when I emailed Victoria BDM last week they had no idea what I was referring to).
I would also be interested to know what would happen to celebrants who choose to continue to use their interpretation of the Acts Interpretation Act and solemnise marriages on the same day of the calendar month following lodgement of the NOIM (i.e. accept a NOIM on 15 November and solemnise marriages on 15 December).
Update: 8 August 2018
Peter Gourlay and I had a teleconference with Ant Burke, President of the AFCC, today ahead of the Associations teleconference with the AGD scheduled for Friday. We discussed our concerns with the advice, and the fact that Ant doesn't want to see Friday's teleconference end up in a rehashing of the issues; they know what the issues are, he wants them to tell us what's going to happen next. Watch this space for the outcome.
Update: 10 August 2018
We won!
### There's two ways to provide a service
From the heart and soul of Seth Godin today, I'm copying and pasting this from his amazing blog for you today to chew on over how your provide your celebrancy service:
Two ways to solve a problem and provide a service
With drama. Make sure the customer knows just how hard you’re working, what extent you’re going to in order to serve. Make a big deal out of the special order, the additional cost, the sweat and the tears.
Without drama. Make it look effortless.
Either can work. Depends on the customer and the situation.
But it’s a choice. We can make it with intention.
In my business, I choose effortless. Showcasing the drama can work too, but choose one and stick with it.
### How to position your PA speaker for a wedding ceremony
Veronica asks
After reading this article and listening to the podcast "A tribute to the greatest episode in the world", you mentioned speaker placement. Being a newbie to the industry, where would you suggest is the best place for the speaker so I majority can hear?
When it comes to positioning the PA system at a wedding ceremony, it's all about ensuring that the audio is clear for all guests, ensuring a clear path of radio communciation betweeh wireless microphone and receiver/speaker, while not intruding on the visual aspects of the ceremony.
Here's a breakdown of what to consider:
1. Visibility: The PA system should be placed such that it does not obstruct the view of any of the guests or become a distraction in the background of photographs.
2. Acoustics: The system should be positioned to project sound effectively to all the guests. This means, at the front of the ceremony where you and the bridl party are, pointed toward the guests.
3. Access: The PA system should not block any aisles or pathways and should be set up where it won't cause any trip hazards for the wedding party or guests.
4. Radio: You want the PA system and wireless receiver to be as close to you as possible without being too close that it’s in the way or in photographs, and you also want a clear path for radio communicaton. Try and not put an entire bridal party between your transmitter (microhphone) and receiver (speaker) because human bodies are full of water which distracts radio transmissions.
The three things to keep in mind when positioning your PA speaker system is:
audio feedback
making the audio sound real
radio frequency
On audio feedback, you simply don't want the microphone to be so close to the speaker, so you want the speaker far enough away from you that it's not feeding back, but ...
While you want to keep the speaker far from the microphone, you also have to be keeping in mind that you want the audio to sound real, so if you're talking but the audio of you talking is coming from where you aren't, like the back of the ceremony, that confuses ears and eyes, so you want the PA speaker as close to you as possible (whilst maintaining distance so it doesn't feedback), all while keeping in mind that ...
You want to leave a clear path for the radio transmitter (your microphone) to clearly communicate to the receiver (the speaker system most likely) and human bodies are great deflectors of radio transmissions.
Always do a thorough check in with the venue and the couple to understand any specific requirements or restrictions they might have regarding the placement of the PA system. Communication is key to ensure the setup complements the ceremony and provides the best experience for the couple and their guests.
Remember, each venue is unique and your setup may differ each time. It may be useful to gather some feedback after the ceremony to learn what worked well and what could be improved for future events. It's all about finding the balance between functionality and aesthetics.
### Increasing your enquiry conversion rate
A question today about enquiries and how to increase our conversion
I have a question about converting enquiries as I am finding that I get a good amount of enquiries but feel my conversion rate could be way better.
Wondering what I could be doing better or is there something I am not doing? Is it the language I am using in my initial contact too passive or boring? Or maybe I am giving them too much information?
I currently do not have my price on my website so I am guessing some of the enquiries I am not converting are due to that and for follow up I send out a very short follow up email to them a about a month after not hearing anything.
How do I better communicate to my leads in the initial enquiry stage to "seel the deal" with me or at least book an initial catch up meeting.
Would love some constructive feedback on my "first email" and "welcome letter" attachment that I send as my first contact.
We live in an amazing time where the access to new technology, new ideas, and new formats or mediums is changing every day. Literally every day. The way we transact and communicate is equally changing, and most popular advice on sales, closing sales, converting enquiries, and conversion rates is not even aimed at us. Most common sales advice is about building globally strong brands, repeat customers, building client loyalty, and all of that means almost nothing to celebrants. On top of that, most sales advice is for attracting individuals or businesses, not couples.
Our ideal client is a couple, who up until now has never paid for a service like ours, and ideally never will again.
So catching that fish requires skill, talent, and the knowledge that the waters are ever changing.
So with that in mind, I'll address your points then end with what I've done and am doing now.
My conversion rate could be better
Measuring your conversion rate could almost definitely keep you awake at night far more than you should be. The secret in micro/macro size businesses like ours is in what you measure. There are so many different numbers you can measure, and I wouldn't even recommending my method (I measure my accounts receivable, because all my invoices are due in four months so the total accounts receivable divided by four is my expected revenue).
An easy way to increase your conversion rate is to decrease your enquiries. I've done that before by listing my price publicly on the website. Enquiries went right down, conversion rate went right up to almost 90% closure, but my total bookings went right down as well. So if you get two enquiries a year and book both of them, you've had a 100% conversion rate without much to show for it.
In fact, as much as I continually forever aim to target my marketing so finely, I'm also aware that for many enquiries I won't be available, I might be out of budget, or just not the right fit, so the only way I've figured out how to combat that is to increase enquiries whilst also trying to make my marketing efforts, website, and social media act as a filter so that if a couple do enquire, they're already fairly invested in me as a person and a brand.
Is it the language I am using in my initial contact too passive or boring? Or maybe I am giving them too much information?
Your emails and welcome pack are fine, like I mention below you could make your email a little more brief and your welcome pack deeper with more specific info. If you've gotten them past the initial email they can choose to read the heavier load of information.
I currently do not have my price on my website
You've most likely already read these two articles, but Sarah, and then I, both covered this topic recently.
How do I better communicate to my leads in the initial enquiry stage + follow up emails
Ask anyone in the wedding industry about follow up and everyone has their secret little thing. So many don't follow up, many swear by it (I swear by it), but I'd like to point out that good follow up is part of a broader strategy.
I take note that most couples are on a wedding planning journey of between three months to three years. What a massive market to aim for. So I aim to maintain a long term relationship with all these couples by engaging with them three ways.
I reply to their initial enquiry with a short and friendly email that identifies that a) I'm available, b) they know what that means in terms of money and packages, and ending with a c) action step. So many sales are missed because they lack a "next step." Brevity is my goal here as well, as I as assume they've got many emails and they don't want to spend all day reading mine, plus if they want more from me, there's my website.
I maintain an email list of all couples I meet at expos, fairs, open days, along with all who enquire with me, and send a brief value-adding email to them every Monday. So every week there's a touch point from me, delivering value into their lives.
If they offer questions, ideas, or ask for help that I think would make for good social media, blog, or video content I use it. I don't always mention their names, but I'm relying on them following me on these platforms and seeing that I not only answered their question or problem directly, I also shared the advice with the world, so they feel involved in my business now as well.
6-12 days after a first enquiry, if it goes un-answered I'll send a friendly email simply "following up after our last conversation" giving them an opportunity to make a time to meet or book me in.
Would love some constructive feedback on my "first email" and "welcome letter" attachment that I send as my first contact
The first email
So to fill everyone else in, enquiries are replied to with an email pretty much like this and a PDF "welcome letter" attached.
Hi couple name,
Thank-you for your enquiry and congratulations on your engagement. At this stage I am still available for date. Please find attached my welcome letter which will give you some information about me and my services as a wedding celebrant and a short video - so you can have an idea of what it is like to pronounced newlywed (love this part) [link to video].
If you have any questions or would like me to send you my booking form (if you think I would be a good match for you both) or arrange a time to catch up to chat about your plans so far please do not hesitate to get in touch.
Happy Wedding Planning!
All in all this is a perfectly fine email reply, in the original email there's an extra paragraph related to your side business and at least in an initial email I would try and keep things really focused. Humans are easily distracted and I think your side business could be introduced once they've paid you some cash.
If I was going to get picky, this initial email is all about you and how you can make their life better. Everyone else in the wedding industry begins with a congratulations, I feel like it's almost redundant and if you truly are happy for them, say it in person. Open the email with the important details: yes, I am available to be your celebrant. Use as few words as possible so there's no chance of confusion or misunderstanding.
People always have questions, and the fact they've already asked one in "are you available" probably means they don't need an opportunity to ask more, so I'd quit all the fancy talk and move on to the locking in dates and making a booking stage. I would even drop the "don't hesitate to get in touch" and simply wrap up the conversation with a solid "To book me in as your marriage celebrant or if you'd like to meet before doing so, I'm available on x, y, and z times or we can make a time to cal or Skype."
The welcome letter
If you ignored all of that last advice you've still got a fine email to reply to enquiries with, but the welcome letter needs to go to bed.
Modern businesses of 2018 aren't sending PDFs unless it's information that absolutely has to be in a PDF, like a NOIM for example.
PDFs have three problems:
They aren't responsive to screen size, so they are very commonly painful to read on mobile, and I know that more than 60% of my couples are enquiring on mobile.
They aren't as pretty as your sexily designed website (true for the celebrant asking the question, as well as almost everyone else)
They can't be updated. So if info in the PDF changes, only new enquiries get the new info.
The solution: non-public pages on your website.
All of the info in your welcome pack that you want to "hide" from public eyes, but share with enquiries, put that on a special page that isn't linked to from other pages in your website, and make sure it's not in a menu bar. In Wordpress or Squarespace it's as easy as making a new page but not linking to it. Depending on your SEO plugin, or website builder, choose the option that hides the page from Google and other search engines. On my website this option is called "noindex" so that search engines do not index the page.
For the celebrant asking the question, I feel like a lot of the info in your welcome pack should be publicly available info, squeezed into the rest of your website and into regular social media posts. But embed that video in there, and answer commonly asked questions so you're not working double time for no pay.
What is Josh doing?
Earlier this year I got sick of replying to enquiries and getting nothing back, so I instituted the four pointer solution I relayed above, and started building out my weekly email so it actually mattered to people.
And then I took enquiries off my website. If you visit marriedbyjosh.com right now, there is no enquiry form. Instead I give you the opportunity to request an info pack which is my way of putting the cart before the horse. Before I ever hear about you or have to reply to your email you've been sent a link to my information pack with all my packages and fees, I answer loads of questions, and plus your email address is added to my email list and I start sending you an email every day.
When you're ready to enquire you get in touch, because I've been keeping in touch with you every week, and you already know how much I am and what I offer.
For July 2018, this sounds like a solid idea, but the waters are always changing, so by this time 2019 it might be a completely different game.
I'll write more on this in the future, but your emails and enquiry workflows should be all a part of a customer journey you've planned.
### Office facilities for civil celebrants, what's required?
Alison asks:
I'm currently studying to become a marriage celebrant, but there is one thing that worries me about setting up my practice once authorised: the home office.
I currently live with flatmates in the city, so space is limited. I'm only planning on doing the celebrancy thing as a side gig (at the moment) as an antidote to my corporate day job, so renting full-time office space isn't practical.
In your interpretation of the Marriage Act and Code of Practice, would it be appropriate to maintain an "office" in my lockable bedroom, securing documents in a locked filing cabinet, while renting a separate interview space when needed or offering to meet couples in their homes? Can you recommend any other solutions?
This is definitely something you shouldn't be worried about at all, there's no need to overthink it!
Schedule 2 of the Marriage Regulations 2017 sets out the Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants. The wording in the old code of practice, the one from the Marriage Regulations 1963, was slightly different and more onerous upon celebrants. Section 5(b) of the current code of practice requires that:
A marriage celebrant must respect the importance of the marriage ceremony to the parties and the other persons organising the ceremony. This includes (without limitation) the following:
(b) respecting the privacy and confidentiality of the parties, including by:
(i) arranging for appropriate facilities to interview parties; and ...
(iii) maintaining appropriate facilities for the storage of records ...
We're no longer required to provide meeting facilities or maintain a home office.
Alison's plan of maintaining a locked filing cabinet in her lockable bedroom absolutely meets the requirements of s5(b)(iii). Her plan to rent separate interview space or offer to meet couples in their homes would well and truly meet the requirements of s5(b)(i), but it's not required.
For the first year of running my business I went to couples' homes. It was something that I could offer that set me apart from busier celebrants. After a year (and a few instances of driving an hour to someone's home to discover they'd forgotten and weren't there) I decided I wasn't going to do that anymore. I didn't want to meet people in my home; I'm a single woman living alone and I didn't think that was a particularly safe or secure option. Plus I didn't want to have to provide coffee, tea, or whatever else people might want to drink or eat. I started holding meetings at an Italian restaurant near my home. That restaurant (Sugo) has become my second office, and they are absolutely delighted to have me there. They're almost never full, so I'm not taking up a table that could be used by guests who will be spending more than I am, the the couple can order whatever they want during the meeting, and many of my couples stay for dinner after our meeting, and even come back for dinner at a later date. I even hold Legals Only Ceremonies at Sugo now, and they're more than happy for me to do so.
I have had celebrants question whether it's appropriate to discuss private information in a public setting such as a restaurant, but when I really think about what I talk about with my couples during a meeting, none of it is actually particularly private. Their information for the NOIM such as name, date and place of birth, parents' names, etc, I usually copy straight off their birth certificate or other documents. Yes, I may ask them for other identifying information, such as their address, but we're not talking so loudly that people at other tables could hear their responses. I'm yet to have a couple suggest that they don't want to discuss something at Sugo because it's not private enough.
I believe I am meeting the requirement to arrange for appropriate facilities to interview parties in, and Alison definitely shouldn't feel she needs to hire meeting space!
(However when this question came up during my training I did say I would hire a room at my local library or Officeworks, just to be on the safe side with my extremely privacy-conscious trainer.)
On a related note, this is only for weddings. For funerals I always travel to wherever is convenient for the family, which is usually their home, occasionally the funeral home. Funerals are a completely different service, and families need to feel comfortable in their surroundings when discussing funeral plans.
### Guidelines 2018: What's changed?
In this post I'll be looking at the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018: what's new, what's changed, and what's gone.
I'm not going to talk about changes such as the checklist for solemnising marriages moving from page 31 to the appendix, or other page or structure changes.
What I will be talking about is the changes that affect the way Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants (both Subdivision C marriage celebrants and Subdivision D religious marriage celebrants) do our work, and there are more than you might expect.
Let's dive in!
Introduction, p15
These guidelines provide essential information for celebrants on the solemnisation of marriages in Australia under the Marriage Act and the Marriage Regulations. The material provides best practice guidance on the solemnisation of marriage in Australia and celebrants are expected to familiarise themselves with the information in this document [emphasis added]. The following material is provided on the understanding that the department is not providing professional legal advice on any particular matter. The department can only provide guidance on the requirements of the legislation.
The 2014 Guidelines stated that the material provided was the best and most accurate information and guidance available. A change to noting the material provides best practice guidance is significant, because it reiterates the notion that these literally are guidelines rather than a set of instructions that must be followed. Further, the instruction from the 2014 Guidelines that "celebrants are expected to update their practices if any of them are not consistent with these Guidelines" has been removed from the 2018 edition. Obviously there are numerous items in the Guidelines that are MUST DOs; they're the ones required by the Marriage Act 1961 or the Marriage Regulations 2017. Everything else can be considered a SHOULD DO; they're suggestions of the best practice at the time of publication.
Please note I am not suggesting that celebrants should not follow the Guidelines. If a celebrant were called to testify in court as to their actions in a case testing the validity of a marriage, if they could put their hand on their heart and say, "I followed the Guidelines set out by the Commonwealth Attorney General's Department," I believe they would be in a much stronger position than if they said, "I decided my own interpretation of the Marriage Act was sufficient." However in some cases I believe the Guidelines overstep and make statements that are not supported by legislation or by common practice, and I will be following up with AGD for further clarification on those sections.
Section 4.4.1, p26
This section is about the new guidance on the one month's notice period, and I don't think it makes any sense at all. It certainly doesn't set out an example of when notice is given and a marriage can take place as the related fact sheet does. I'm not going to look at this issue here; I've dealt with it in a previous post that's being updated as things change. If the Guidelines are re-released with this section rewritten, I'll change this post.
Section 4.4.3, p27
Original NOIM unavailable
Where the original NOIM cannot be obtained, for example because it has been lost by the couple, consideration should be given to whether there is enough time to complete a new NOIM or a shortening of time could be sought.
Solemnising a marriage without the original NOIM should only be a last resort in the most extreme of circumstances. In such circumstances it may be acceptable for the celebrant to rely solely on the copy of the NOIM and solemnise the marriage without receiving the original NOIM before the wedding. In such a situation, the celebrant should ensure the words on the copy of the NOIM are clearly legible. The copy of the NOIM should be treated as the original document.
Celebrants should contact the BDM directly to explain the circumstances in such situations. BDMs are responsible for registering marriages and as such celebrants can enquire whether the BDM would accept a copy of the NOIM (provided that all other obligations had been complied with).
It's fantastic to have this clarity added to the Guidelines. I have heard of numerous occasions where the couple has lodged the NOIM with a celebrant by email to meet the one-month notice period or because they're interstate or overseas, and then has either lost the original or forgotten to bring it with them to the place the wedding is being held. Although it has long been common practice for BDMs around the country to advise celebrants they can solemnise the marriage, treating the copy as the original, previous iterations of the Guidelines did not consider such cases.
As the Guidelines instruct, it is important to contact the BDM that will be registering the marriage to confirm they will accept the copy of the NOIM for registration purposes. The BDM in question may request that the celebrant provides a cover letter or other supporting documentation when they send in the marriage paperwork for registration.
Section 4.5.1, p28
Where a party is unable to ascertain all the particulars required in the NOIM after reasonable inquiry, they must write 'unknown' in the appropriate space/s.
In order to make the NOIM effective, the parties must also provide the celebrant with a statutory declaration as to their inability to ascertain the particulars not included in the NOIM, and the reasons for that inability...
However, a statutory declaration is not necessary for the information required to be provided under the following items of the NOIM: ... the year of a previous marriage ceremony under item 16 [emphasis added].
It used to say parties didn't need to provide a stat dec if they didn't know the date of a previous marriage ceremony. Granted, the date of a previous marriage ceremony is not actually a requirement of the NOIM; item 16 asks for the year of each previous marriage ceremony and the date if known. But now we don't have to force the 80-year-old who got married for the first time 60 years ago to figure out exactly when he married his dead wife. Yay!
Section 4.5.2, p28
Parents’ names
The NOIM requires that the parties to the marriage list their parents. In most cases people will list their parents as per their birth certificates or adoption papers. Not all parents are listed on birth certificates; it is up to the parties to list their parents using the names they know them by. There is no requirement to sight evidence of the parents’ names irrespective of whether a birth certificate is produced. A statutory declaration is not required for this item.
Again, it's great to see some clarity on this issue that has caused many arguments in celebrant forums over the years. Some celebrants have believed the parents' names must match whatever is on the party's birth certificate, as it's a way of linking the identity records together. Previous iterations of the Guidelines were completely silent on the matter of parents' names.
As I noted in a previous post on this issue, the most important part here is that "it is up to the parties to list their parents using the names they know them by." The Guidelines now provide permission to list parents who are not listed on a birth or adoption certificate, they provide permission to list them in whatever name they are known to the party by (whether that's the one they were born with or the one on the party's birth certificate or something completely different), and they provide permission not to sight evidence of the parents' names, even if a birth certificate is produced. I think this is a great outcome for celebrants and parties alike.
The only two issues this paragraph doesn't cover for me is what if a party tells you the person they want to put down as their father is actually their step-father and they have no legal relationship with them, and what if a party tells you they don't want to list the person who's on their birth certificate as their father. Last time I saw a version of the new forms (which may or may be released some time this decade) they stipulated "Legal Parent", which I think is a more helpful title for those items. (The forms also ask for Legal Parent 1 and Legal Parent 2 rather than Father and Mother, another great step toward full equality.)
Section 4.5.5, p29
NOIMs containing false statements
Celebrants should advise parties that it is a criminal offence for a person to give a NOIM to a celebrant if the person giving the notice knows that the NOIM contains a false statement or is defective.13 If a celebrant is in any doubt whether a NOIM is defective, they should contact the relevant BDM as soon as practicable after receipt of the NOIM, and before the solemnisation of the marriage [emphasis added]. If a celebrant believes a NOIM contains false statements, they should not accept the NOIM.
This change isn't really that important, it's just one of my little bugbears about the 2018 Guidelines. This same clause in the 2014 Guidelines was close to identical (with a few minor pronoun changes), except that it said that celebrants should contact the department (meaning the Attorney General's Department) for guidance. The vast majority of references to contacting the department for guidance have been removed in the 2018 Guidelines, and the AGD's response to that being questioned was that the beginning of the Guidelines includes a section inviting celebrants to contact them if they require guidance (Contact the department, page 14). I'm still going to point out every time it's been deleted though :)
Section 4.5.9, p31
This section is all about when parties can use a different name on the NOIM (and other marriage paperwork) to the one recorded on their birth certificate. There's an interesting bunch of changes of wording from should to must throughout this section.
First off a reminder about the difference between should and must as far as I'm concerned: any instruction that includes the word must is one that is backed up by a legislative requirement, e.g. celebrants must see an original birth certificate or a passport or receive a statutory declaration to prove a party's date and place of birth. That is a requirement of the Marriage Act 1961, and therefore deserves a must. Any instruction that includes the word should is one that does not have a legislative basis, and provides best practice guidance for how celebrants should act in certain situations. I talked about the importance of this difference and the change to the Introduction of the Guidelines in Part 1 of this series if you need a reminder.
Now back to name on the NOIM, and the changes from should to must in the new Guidelines. For example:
BDM-issued change of name certificate
If a person has changed their name from the name on their birth certificate by way of a BDM-issued change of name certificate [or amended birth certificate] they must write this name on the NOIM [emphasis added].
The 2014 Guidelines said they should write this name on the NOIM. I'm okay with this change; if you go through a change of name process through BDM, you're legally changing your name and you no longer have the right to use your birth name. So this one is definitely a must.
Change of name by deed poll
Prior to BDMs granting change of name certificates (commencing in about the late 1990s), a person could change their name by deed poll. A person who changed their name by deed poll must write this name on the NOIM [emphasis added].
The 2014 Guidelines said they may write this name on the NOIM. Again, I'm okay with this change for the same reasons as noted above.
Change of name by marriage
A party who has changed their name by marriage, and retained their previous spouse's surname, must record that surname on the NOIM.
The 2014 Guidelines said they may record that surname on the NOIM. I am NOT okay with this change. When a person changes their surname by marriage, they do not go through a legal change of name process and relinquish their previous name. Instead, they tell everyone who has their name on file that they want to be called by a different name (their married name) and show their marriage certificate as proof they are entitled to use that new name. They still maintain their birth certificate and still have access to their previous name. Indeed, many people who change their name through marriage only do so for personal purposes, maintaining their birth name for professional purposes.
I cannot find any legislative reason why a person who has changed their name by marriage, and continued to use their previously married surname, cannot use their birth name on their marriage documents, AS LONG AS they can provide a chain of documentary evidence showing the change from their birth name to their married name (i.e. birth certificate in Smith, marriage certificate showing Ms Smith married Mr Jones, divorce certificate in Mrs Jones, and photo identification in Mrs Jones, to show the person in the photo ID is the same person named on the birth certificate, just using a different name).
I did question this change during the consultation process, but I clearly confused someone when I talked about "a person changing their name by usage through marriage", because the response was that changing a name by usage was different from changing a name by marriage and therefore wasn't relevant to this issue. I have emailed the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section to follow up again and will update you if/when I get a response.
Edit: I finally got a response! I emailed MLCS about this change of name by marriage issue on 1 August 2018, and after multiple follow-up emails from me I actually got a response on 8 March:
We agree that the guidance is contradictory guidance. Thank you for bring this to our attention.
We agree that a party to a marriage, who has been previously married and changed their name through that marriage, may choose to use that married name when completing the NOIM.
We will amend Part 4.19 of the guidelines to reflect this.
Just by the by, some of you may recall that I said it took me over 9 hours to review the draft Guidelines when they were released in May, because not only did I have to look at the sections that MLCS had highlighted as having changed, but I also had to read the rest of the document word for word. These changes above are an example of that; these sections were not highlighted, and with the exception of the change from should to must, the rest of the paragraphs were identical. So picking up these changes required that I compare every word of the two documents. :)
In this section there's also another of those "don't call us" changes. The section on the use of names on a Certificate of Australian Citizenship in the 2014 Guidelines included the following statement:
If a party wanting to marry has no evidence of their identity other than a Certificate of Australian Citizenship, the authorised celebrant should contact the department for guidance.
In the 2018 Guidelines, that sentence has simply been deleted. Gone. *sigh*
Section 4.7.1, p33
This is the section on Frequently Asked Questions about the use of names on the NOIM. There's similar changes to the section above from should or may to must throughout a number of the questions, so it's worth just checking in with the new answers before giving any advice to your couples.
Section 4.9, p40
In the section about signing and witnessing the NOIM, the following has been added:
An authorised celebrant or other person is not able to 'witness' the signing of a NOIM over Skype or other electronic means as the NOIM is to be signed in the 'presence' of the authorised celebrant or other person.
This is an instruction that was given in the Compulsory OPD booklet in 2017 and we asked to have it included in the Guidelines. It's a perfectly reasonable and common sense instruction and I hope you're all following it! (This instruction is also provided at s4.9.2, which is about a NOIM being signed outside Australia.)
Section 4.9.1, p41
There has always been a lot of confusion over what kind of practitioners are covered by "a legally qualified medical practitioner" as a witness to the signatures on a NOIM. Following information in the Compulsory OPD booklet in 2017 and our request it be included in the Guidelines, the following note has been added:
A legally qualified medical practitioner means a person who is registered as a licensed practitioner with the Medical Board of Australia. The category is limited to GPs and specialist doctors but does not include pharmacists or physiotherapists.
I've written about this issue before, but hopefully having this explicit instruction in the Guidelines will assist celebrants explain the concept to their couples.
Section 4.11, p46
This is a fairly minor change in the scheme of things, but it's definitely making life easier for my brain. Previous guidance was that in the conjugal status box on the NOIM (and therefore on the marriage certificates), the options were "widower, widow, divorced, or never validly married." I don't know about you lot, but I could never remember whether a widower was male or female, and same with a widow (for the record, a widower is male and a widow is female).
The new guidance is that the conjugal status options are now simply "widowed, divorced, or never validly married." Yay! This makes much more sense and is in line with the "divorced" option; we weren't previously required to write divorcee, so it's sensible that the options are both past-tense adjectives rather than nouns. And now I don't have to remember which is which!
Hold on to your hats, because the next few changes are HUGE. The 2014 Guidelines included the following instruction:
A statutory declaration is not acceptable evidence of divorce or death of a former spouse. If an authorised celebrant is faced with circumstances in which evidence of divorce or death of a former spouse is not available, noting such circumstances are exceptional, the celebrant should contact the department for guidance.
This entire paragraph has been removed from the 2018 Guidelines. This is not a case where I'm concerned that the instruction to contact the department for guidance has been removed; removing this entire instruction is a huge change to the evidence requirements for parties who have been previously married. The requirements are covered more fully in the next two sections.
Section 4.11.1, p47
This section provides instructions on the required evidence of death of a former spouse, and it puts the ball firmly in the celebrant's court to be satisfied with the evidence presented to them. The entire section has been rewritten; I've bolded the changes below.
In the case of a party whose last marriage ended with the death of their spouse, couples must be advised the marriage cannot take place until evidence of the death has been provided. It is up to each celebrant to determine whether they are satisfied with the evidence provided to them, and that they are satisfied that the party's former spouse is deceased and the party is eligible to marry.
We recommend that the celebrant explain to the party that they, as a celebrant, need to be satisfied that the client's former spouse is, or can legally be presumed, deceased before they can solemnise the marriage, as they may otherwise be committing an offence. The celebrant should encourage the party to take all practical steps to provide the death certificate.
If their spouse died in Australia, the party should be able to obtain the death certificate from the BDM in the state or territory where their spouse died. The celebrant should encourage the party to take all practical steps to provide the death certificate.
Where the death certificate cannot be provided, the celebrant could ask the party to look into whether a court could issue an order or declaration, on whether the party’s former spouse can be legally presumed dead. This would be the preferred option. Alternatively, you could request that the party obtain legal advice that the evidence available would support a conclusion that the spouse had died.
In some cases, a detailed statutory declaration from the person in relation to their marital status may satisfy the celebrant that the former spouse is deceased. While it is open to a celebrant to accept a statutory declaration, this type of evidence may not provide the same level of certainty as the options outlined above.
If a statutory declaration is provided, it should explain why the person believes that their former spouse is deceased. This would include information concerning:
why there is no documentary evidence, or why the party cannot obtain that evidence
all of the enquiries the party has made to ascertain confirmation about their former spouse’s death, and
the length of time since they last had contact and why they would expect if the spouse were alive they would have heard from them.
It should also attach any publicly available information about the presumed circumstances of death, for example if it is believed the person died as a consequence of conflict, information about that conflict. Independent, corroborative evidence from third parties, such as a person who may have knowledge of the death or who, like the spouse, would have expected to hear from them if they were alive, may also be useful.
It almost might have been more useful to bold the bits that weren't changed.
Let me summarise this:
The best option is still to see an original death certificate for the deceased spouse.
The next best option is for the party to seek a court order or declaration that the former spouse can be legally presumed dead.
The next best option is for the party to obtain legal advice that the evidence available supports the conclusion that the spouse has died.
The final option, only to be used in exceptional circumstances, is to accept a statutory declaration from the party outlining their belief that their former spouse is dead and the reasons for this belief (and the Guidelines provide an outline of information that should be included in such a statutory declaration).
The onus is on the celebrant to determine whether they are satisfied with the evidence provided to them; the department will not help you in this matter, it's completely up to you.
Section 4.11.5, p49
The rewrites in this section, about the evidence of divorce from a former spouse that was granted overseas, are not quite as full-on as the previous section (NB: there are no changes to the information about evidence of a divorce granted in Australia; it is always possible to apply for a copy of the divorce certificate.) The first six paragraphs are exactly the same as the 2014 Guidelines. It's when we come to the seventh paragraph that we see the changes. First, the paragraph stating that statutory declarations are not acceptable evidence has been removed. Second, the instruction to seek guidance from the department has been removed (of course it has). The example of a person who has come to Australia as a refugee being unable to obtain evidence of the end of a previous marriage remains the same. And then we come to the new information:
In some cases, a detailed statutory declaration from the person in relation to their marital status may satisfy the celebrant that they are divorced. While it is open to a celebrant to accept a statutory declaration, this type of evidence may not provide the same level of certainty as the options outlined above in 4.11.1 [i.e. a divorce certificate from an Australian or overseas court].
If a statutory declaration is provided, it should explain why the person believes they are divorced. This would include information concerning:
why there is no documentary evidence, or why the party cannot obtain that evidence, and
all of the enquiries the party has made to obtain evidence of their divorce.
They should also attach any independent corroborative evidence from third parties, such as a person who may have knowledge of the divorce.
Finally the paragraph about a party to an overseas marriage applying to an Australian court for a divorce in certain circumstances remains the same as the 2014 Guidelines.
So again, for evidence of a divorce granted overseas:
a divorce certificate is the best option
legal advice is the next best option
a statutory declaration is the final option in exceptional circumstances, and again the Guidelines provide instructions on what should be included in such a declaration.
Again, the onus is on the celebrant to be satisfied the party is free to marry.
Section 4.12, p51
This section is about establishing identities of the parties to the marriage, and following our requests has been further clarified to include the information from the Compulsory OPD 2017 topic, and other pertinent information. Again, I'll copy the whole section here and bold the new stuff.
A celebrant shall not solemnise a marriage unless satisfied that the parties are the parties referred to in the NOIM. This requirement is separate from, and additional to, the requirement that each party to a marriage must give their celebrant evidence of their date and place of birth before a marriage is solemnised.
The Marriage Act does not prescribe the documents required to be sighted as evidence of identity. There may be some overlap between the documents that can be provided as evidence of date and place of birth and those that may be provided as proof of identity. Ultimately it is up to each celebrant to determine whether they are satisfied as to the identity of the people seeking to get married.
Best practice is for a celebrant to require each party to a marriage to provide at least one of the following documents with photo identification as evidence of their identity:
a driver licence
a proof of age/photo card
an Australian or overseas passport, or
a Certificate of Australian Citizenship along with another form of photographic evidence (such as a student card or other photo identification not listed above).
Each decision on accepting evidence to determine identity should be made on a case by case basis. If a celebrant is not satisfied of a person’s identity because of the age or validity of documents presented to them, they should request that the couple provide alternate evidence.
An expired Australian passport (issued on or after 1 July 2000 with more than two years validity; that has not been expired for over ten years, or reported lost/stolen) can be used to determine the identity of a person.
An expired passport that belonged to a child may not be useful to determine the identity of an adult (even if it has been expired for less than ten years).
If a person is not able to obtain any official photo identification as evidence of their identity, celebrants may consider whether other evidence, such as a document which provides sufficient information to identify the person, such as their name, address and possibly date of birth. Government issued documents are recommended, for example, a letter from the Australian Tax Office, Centrelink or Medicare card and a rates notice.
For the purposes of completing the NOIM, if a driver licence is sighted as evidence of identity, in addition to recording the driver licence number, celebrants may choose to also record the state or territory in which the driver licence was issued. Similarly, if a passport is sighted, in addition to recording the passport number on the NOIM, the country of issue could also be recorded.
This new information supports what I (and others) have been saying for years; the Marriage Act requires that celebrants are satisfied as to the identity of the party. It does not require celebrants to sight photo identification; that is simply a best practice guideline. The new information outlines other documents that we may be able to sight to satisfy ourselves as to a party's identity (I would probably want to see 100 points worth of other evidence if no photo ID was available).
It also provides direct and succinct guidance as to the number of years expired a passport may be before it is of no use to determine a person's identity, and instructions that we've been hearing from BDMs for a while about recording the state of issue of a driver's licence and the country of issue of a passport.
In the 2014 Guidelines, the next section talked about establishing whether the parties to a marriage are a man and a woman. Since 9 December 2017 that's no longer relevant t our work, so that entire (confusing) section has been removed (yay!) and replaced with information on marriage equality. It's pretty much the same information provided in the Compulsory OPD 2018 topic, covered at length in emails and fact sheets from the department, as well as in discussions on a number of episodes of our podcast, so I'm not going to go over it here. If you have any questions about the changes to the marriage forms or ceremony since marriage equality, or about religious marriage celebrants or the new advertising requirements, please don't hesitate to yell out.
Section 4.13.2, p54
Primarily this section is about the new advertising requirements, which as I said above I'm not going to discuss here, but there is an interesting and useful subsection that we asked to be included, and that's about keeping your A number secure.
Keeping ‘A’ numbers secure
Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrants’ ‘A numbers’ are unique to each celebrant and are important for the completion of marriage documents. This number should be kept secure and should not be disclosed to others or used in advertising.
Example: A party to a marriage who is not an Australian citizen or permanent resident asks an authorised celebrant to write a letter or to give a copy of the Notice of Intended Marriage in support of their visa application. The party also asks the celebrant for their A number so they may provide it to their migration agent. The authorised celebrant could write a letter, to whom it may concern, that sets out they are an authorised celebrant, but not disclose their A number, and confirm they have received a NOIM on a certain date for the proposed marriage or that they solemnised the marriage at a certain place and date.
To summarise, don't give out your A number to anyone, no matter how much they insist they need it (and now you can show them the Guidelines to prove you're not allowed to), and don't list it in any of your advertising: don't put it on your business card, on your website, in your email signature, or on your letter head. Sure, it seems like a good thing to do so that couples and other stakeholders know you're a legit celebrant, but there's other ways of them finding out you're authorised, like checking on the Attorney General's Department's Register of Celebrants.
Section 4.14, p54
Another addition we asked for was more clarity around when the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage (DONLIM) can and should be signed and the reasons why, and yay, the following information was included:
The declarations must be made before the marriage is solemnised. This should occur as close as possible to the ceremony, even if this requires the parties to make a special attendance on the celebrant. This is because the circumstances of a party may change in between providing their NOIM and the marriage taking place. For example, celebrants can be approached by couples where one party is still in the process of obtaining a divorce. While such a party can provide a NOIM to a celebrant, they cannot sign the Declaration until they are free to marry—that is, until their divorce has been finalised. Meeting with the couple a few days before the ceremony to go through final arrangements may be a good time to have them sign the declaration. The Marriage Act does not permit the declarations to be made immediately after the ceremony but they can be made on the same day as the wedding provided it is before the ceremony.
This section not only sets out why the DONLIM should be signed as close as possible to the wedding (because the circumstances of a party may change between signing the NOIM and the DONLIM), it also states it's perfectly fine for the DONLIM to be signed on the same day as the wedding provided it is before the ceremony. I know there are a number of RTOs that teach that the DONLIM cannot be signed on the same day as the wedding, which is completely untrue, so I'm glad the new Guidelines specifically state this.
Section 4.15, p55
At the bottom of page 4 of the NOIM there are two boxes to tick to indicate that you have given the Happily Ever Before and After brochure to the parties, one box for each party. The new Guidelines specifically state that:
One copy of the brochure must be given to each party.
This is a new instruction. I understand this instruction when the celebrant only meets with one party to lodge the NOIM, or when the signatures on the NOIM are witnessed by someone other than the celebrant and the celebrant doesn't meet the couple at all at the NOIM stage. It's important then to send the absent party a copy (I send it by email) or send both parties a copy (again I send it by email). However when a couple comes to see you together, signs the NOIM with you as their witness, and they live together, giving them two copies of the same document seems to me to be redundant and a waste of trees. I know we get it for free from Canprint, so at least it doesn't cost us anything additional to give them each one, and I know we can send it to each of them electronically even if we meet them in person, but I like the process of handing it over and ticking the boxes. Anyway, it's an annoying instruction but one that should be followed given it's a must (although there's nothing in the Marriage Act that specifically says each party needs to receive a copy). *sigh*
Section 4.17, p57
This is a brand new section, and you've probably got Josh to thank for this one:
Electronic signatures on marriage documents
Available technology enables documentation to be completed electronically, including using electronic signatures. The Electronic Transactions Act 1999 applies to the Marriage Act. As such, it is acceptable for couples, celebrants and witnesses to complete marriage documentation electronically, for example, using an iPad, provided that the recipient of the electronic document/s, such as the registry of births, deaths and marriages, consents to receiving the documents electronically.
This does not include the Form 15 certificate of marriage, which must be in hardcopy because the Marriage Act requires that it is handed to the couple by the celebrant.
We've talked about this matter before on the podcast, and I can tell you that Josh has written permission from BDMs in New South Wales and Queensland to submit marriage paperwork that has been signed using an Apple Pencil on an iPad. However I can also tell you that Victorian BDM is saying they will not accept paperwork that has been signed in this manner. They're claiming it's not possible due to the Victorian laws; I'm calling bullshit on that but I'm too engrossed in the Guidelines right now to look up the Victorian Electronic Transactions Act. Maybe tomorrow.
If you're in a state other than NSW or QLD and want to submit marriage documentation signed on an iPad, I strongly suggest you contact your local BDM and get their permission in writing :)
Section 5.2.1, p61
This is about what happens when a celebrant needs to be replaced, and has been shifted from Part 12, Other Matters, right up here into Part 5, which is all about the marriage ceremony. There's also a few new nuggets of info; I've bolded the new bits.
Availability of celebrant
Although in most cases a marriage will be solemnised by the celebrant to whom the NOIM was originally given, the marriage may be solemnised by any marriage celebrant who has possession of the NOIM in circumstances in which the original proposed celebrant has died, is absent from the place of the intended marriage, is ill, or it is impracticable (practically impossible) for that person to solemnise the marriage.
It is the responsibility of the first celebrant to ensure that the notice is transferred, safely, by hand or registered post, to the second celebrant. The requirement for the transfer to be 'safe' reflects the desirability of ensuring that the NOIM is given to the correct celebrant, and that the marrying couple’s personal information is not compromised. It is the responsibility of the couple to pay any fees charged by the first celebrant for services up to and including the cost of transferring the notice to the second celebrant.
A celebrant who performs a marriage in place of another celebrant to whom the NOIM was given originally, must comply personally with all the requirements of section 42 of the Marriage Act, save that a new NOIM need not be given by the parties. That is, the celebrant who solemnises the marriage is required under the Marriage Act to check the parties’ evidence of date and place of birth and evidence of identity and evidence of dissolution of previous marriage (if applicable). The Declaration of No Legal Impediment must be remade before the replacement celebrant and this celebrant is also responsible for ensuring all other legal requirements are met. If there is not enough time to prepare and sight all the necessary legal paperwork, a commitment ceremony should be offered.
Where a celebrant who has solemnised a marriage dies without having signed the certificates of the marriage, the matter should be reported to the appropriate state or territory registering authority.
So there's two new bits: an explanation of why it's important to safely transfer the NOIM to the new celebrant (which I would have thought was self-explanatory, but anyway), and a reminder that a new DONLIM needs to be signed in front of the new celebrant. There is also a reminder that if all the legalities cannot be completed before the wedding, a commitment ceremony should be offered instead (despite what some trainers will teach about being pragmatic with regards to sighting original documentation in a last minute situation).
Section 5.2.2, p61
This section is completely new to the Guidelines; it was included in the Autumn/Winter 2017 issue of Marriage Celebrant Matters and we asked for it to be included in the Guidelines as well.
Transferring the NOIM in exceptional situations
From time-to-time, celebrants may find themselves in situations where they are unable to solemnise a marriage and are required to transfer a NOIM in exceptional circumstances, such as a natural disaster event. Ensuring the safe transfer of the original NOIM may be challenging.
Consistent with the guidance provided at Part 4.4.2 of these guidelines for providing the NOIM to an authorised celebrant when the parties to the marriage are overseas or interstate, it may be acceptable for the first celebrant to transfer a NOIM by electronic means (for example by email or a photograph attached to a text message) to the second celebrant, and provide the original hardcopy NOIM to the second celebrant before the wedding takes place.
It is up to celebrants to exercise their judgement and common-sense about whether, and how, the original NOIM can be obtained prior to the wedding. Every effort should be made to obtain the original document before the marriage is solemnised. Where the original NOIM cannot be obtained, the second celebrant could consider whether there is enough time to complete a new NOIM or a shortening of time could be sought.
Solemnising a marriage without the original NOIM should only be a last resort in the most extreme of circumstances. In these very exceptional circumstances, such as a natural disaster, it may be acceptable for the second celebrant to rely solely on an electronic NOIM and solemnise the marriage without receiving the original NOIM before the wedding. In such a situation, the second celebrant should:
ensure the words of the electronic document are clearly legible
print the electronic document and annotate/sign it
ensure the relevant state and territory registry of births, deaths and marriages (BDM) has consented to the NOIM being transferred in this manner, and
obtain the original document as soon as practicable after the exceptional circumstances cease, and provide it to the BDM, with a covering letter explaining the circumstances in which the NOIM was transferred (in this way the original can be compared to the annotated version). Depending on the circumstances, the original NOIM could be provided to the BDM at the same time as the other marriage documents, or later.
Celebrants should contact the BDM directly to explain the circumstances in such situations. BDMs are responsible for processing marriage documents including the NOIM and as such celebrants can enquire whether the BDM would accept a copy of the NOIM that has been electronically transferred to them (provided that all other obligations had been complied with).
On the face of it this is great advice, but it does hinge on getting approval from the BDM in question, and given most weddings occur on a Saturday when BDMs are closed, such approval could be difficult to obtain. I have previously asked the AFCC to contact all BDMs seeking such approval, but that never eventuated.
In December 2017 Victoria was preparing for some heavy rain and major flooding, and I thought this was an excellent opportunity to test out this process. So I rang BDM in Victoria asking for permission as per the Guidelines (I didn't have any weddings that weekend but I thought the least I could do was check out the situation for my celebuddies). Their response? Oh yeah of course, we do that all the time (even when it's not in exceptional circumstances), just as long as there's a cover letter explaining the situation and what steps were taken. Of course they refused to put it in writing for me; the lady I spoke to at the call centre said it was standard practice and they didn't feel the need to provide any written confirmation.
I suspect the same would be the case at other BDMs around the country, but I do suggest you contact your local BDM to ask the question if dreadful weather is forecast :)
Section 5.9.1, p73
The RTO I worked for in 2017 was informed of this next new addition by email, so we asked for it to be added to the Guidelines:
Witnesses to the marriage to also act as interpreter
The roles of the two witnesses are to observe that the marriage is duly solemnised and to sign the marriage certificates. The Marriage Act does not prohibit an interpreter and a witness being one and the same person, however, it is recommended that the professionalism of the interpreter is not compromised by a celebrant agreeing that the interpreter is also a witness to the marriage. Ultimately it is the celebrant who must determine whether an interpreter is desirable in order to ensure the marriage is validly solemnised.
Again this is a best practice recommendation rather than a must; I have had multiple occasions where the interpreter has also acted as a witness when the person doing the interpreting is a friend or family member. If the interpreter was a professional, accredited interpreter, the situation may be different. It's completely up to the celebrant (in consultation with the interpreter, I would suggest) to decide whether or not this is appropriate.
Section 6.3.2, p76
The Marriage Regulations 2017 made a change to the way the celebrant's copy of the Official Certificate of Marriage (sometimes in the Register, or red book) should be treated after the celebrant dies or becomes permanently incapacitated, and these instructions have been included in the Guidelines (they are also mentioned at s6.5.3).
Celebrants who are not ministers of religion must retain the second official certificate of marriage for six years starting on the day, after the day the marriage was solemnised. The Marriage Regulations ‘turn off’ the requirements to keep the Official Certificate of Marriage if the marriage celebrant dies or becomes permanently incapacitated. This provides certainty that, if such a scenario arises, a celebrant’s family or other persons can choose how to deal with these documents. If the family or other persons decide to destroy the documents they should do so safely, for example by shredding the documents. If they decide to keep the documents they should be kept securely.
This section also removes the advice from the 2014 Guidelines about not using the Register. The 2014 Guidelines said:
Authorised celebrants solemnising civil marriage ceremonies, or ministers of religion without a church-issued register, are required to purchase and maintain a marriage register which contains the second celebrant copy of the official certificate of marriage (formerly the Form 16).
Some authorised celebrants use loose copies of the official marriage certificate as the second official certificate. This practice is not recommended as it is easy for certificates to be misplaced. If a marriage register is not used authorised celebrants must ensure they keep the certificates bound in some way. It is the authorised celebrant’s responsibility to ensure these records are not mislaid or damaged.
Personally I think it's great that this section has been removed; quite frankly, I'm an adult and I can be responsible for how I maintain my marriage certificates. I use loose copies and keep them in plastic pockets in a ring binder, along with a copy of the ceremony script and any thank you cards or orders of service from the ceremony (yes, I'm well aware that I'm sentimental). It works for me, as I'm sure it does for multiple other celebrants all around the country.
Section 6.11, p82
We asked for this specific instruction to be included under the heading Lost Certificates; it was already mentioned in s6.4, which talks about what the Form 15 certificate of marriage actually is, but it seems that it got a bit lost in amongst everything else. So now we have in s6.11 the specific instruction that:
If the Form 15 certificate of marriage is lost or destroyed, it cannot be replaced under any circumstances.
Section 8.5.1, p82
There's some interesting new info in this section on consent and why it's important (again, we asked for it and they included it!). I've bolded the new bits.
A forced marriage is not the same as an arranged marriage. In a forced marriage, the victim does not consent to the marriage. An arranged marriage is a marriage in which the spouses have the right to accept or refuse the marriage arrangement that their respective families have made. The Marriage Act does not prevent a person from consenting to marry another person that they do not know or have not met prior to the marriage ceremony.
Marriages that appear to be contrived or a ‘sham’ entered into solely for the purposes of a visa are not prohibited by the Marriage Act. As long as both parties are consenting to the marriage, it is not your role, as the marriage celebrant, to determine the genuineness of the relationship. If you have concerns about the authenticity of a marriage you are asked to solemnise, you may wish to report your concerns (you can do this anonymously) to the Department of Home Affairs on telephone 131 881 or website at www.homeaffairs.gov.au. There is no obligation on an authorised celebrant to do so. The existence of a marriage does not automatically entitle a person to a visa.
Both of these inclusions are important and useful.
There's nothing anywhere in the Act that says parties have to meet before the marriage, or sign the documents at the same time, so as long as they're both consenting, arranged marriages are fine.
I know there are many celebrants who refuse to marry couples they think are getting married for the "wrong reasons" or "just to get a visa" or who are "not enough in love". Guess what? A couple's reasons for getting married are none of our business, and that is borne out by this inclusion in the Guidelines. The Marriage Act says nothing about love, about cohabitation, about bearing children, or about any other reason for getting married. As long as they both consent and meet all the other requirements for a valid marriage, the Marriage Act does not stop us marrying them.
Section 8.5.2, p88
Another don't call us moment here; the 2014 Guidelines said if a celebrant had any doubts about whether a party is consenting to a marriage, they could contact the department for guidance. That sentence has been removed. *sigh*
Section 8.6.2, p90
Again the direction to contact the department for guidance has been removed from this section about speaking to third parties to confirm a party's consent or ability to give consent, but something else has been inserted (which we asked for). I've bolded the new bit:
In addition to speaking to the party concerned a celebrant can speak to third parties (e.g. in cases of incapacity a celebrant might be assisted by speaking with medical experts who know the party or other people such as family members, carers or staff at the nursing home where a person is living if they are elderly or have a disability) to assess if consent is real. When speaking to third parties, it is important to respect the privacy of the person involved. You should seek permission from the person to approach certain people, tell them who you would like to speak to and why, and let them know what you are going to say.
The 2014 Guidelines just said go ahead and speak to other people, but that's not really okay. The person getting married should be sufficiently coherent that they can provide you with permission to speak to other people about their capacity to give consent, and their privacy must be respected.
Section 8.6.4, p90
There's always been information in the Guidelines that says that consent may not be able to be given during a marriage ceremony if a party is drunk, intoxicated, or under the influence of drugs, but the Guidelines previously didn't give any examples or advice about how to deal with it. This issue was covered in more depth in the Compulsory OPD topic in 2016, and we asked for the further information to be included in the Guidelines:
For example, if alcohol or drugs are involved, the party should be displaying a reasonable level of comprehension or understanding of the nature and effect of marriage. A person who has had an alcoholic drink prior to the ceremony but is not inebriated is most likely to be able to be in a position to consent to the marriage. However, a person who is intoxicated is unlikely to be in a position to form the necessary understanding of the nature and effect of marriage. It is an authorised celebrant’s responsibility to refuse to proceed with the solemnisation of the marriage if the parties are so affected by drugs and/or alcohol that the marriage would be void due to a lack of consent. Ultimately, this is something that can only be determined on the day and requires the individual judgment of the celebrant. The celebrant may wish to offer to conduct a commitment ceremony, with the legal marriage being performed at a later date. The celebrant should take the best efforts to extract themselves from the situation as safely as possible. It may be a good idea to explain issues of consent, and your responsibilities, with the couple prior to the day of the ceremony, especially if you think it might become an issue.
This is a tough one to deal with; we're not medical experts or police, we have no training in how to assess whether someone is intoxicated. I use the 0.05 blood alcohol content as a rule of thumb; I say to couples if you think you're too drunk to drive, you're probably too drunk to get married. I also tell them I don't want to hear them slurring their words or see them tripping over their feet any more than is normal (the last bit is important because some people's sober speech patterns or physical ability may not necessarily look sober or unimpaired). It really is at the celebrant's discretion, but I'm pretty sure that if you ever come across a situation where someone is too drunk to get married, you'll know about it.
Section 8.6.5, p91
This entire section is new to the Guidelines. Again it came out of the Compulsory OPD topic from 2016 and we asked for it to be included.
Capacity to understand the nature and effect of marriage
Capacity is the concept that refers to a person’s ability to make independent decisions. Every adult is presumed to have capacity to make decisions. This means that unless there is a valid trigger to justify a further assessment of a person’s capacity, authorised celebrants should generally treat everyone as if they are capable of understanding the nature and effect of the marriage ceremony. It is especially important to value and respect the importance of presuming capacity of a person with a disability to make a decision in relation to marriage. Article 23 of the Convention on the Rights of Persons with a Disability recognises the right of people with disabilities to marry and have a family. Although the Marriage Act recognises the need to protect a person with disability from exploitation, by voiding a marriage where they did not understand the nature and effect of marriage, it is not intended to result in a barrier for people with a disability to marry.
Authorised celebrants should not assume a person lacks capacity based on appearances eg, advanced age, a disability, physical impairment or where the person has difficulty communicating. Many people may have difficulty communicating and expressing themselves however, with assistance, their capacity for making their own decisions is clear. There are many support tools that can be used to assist in communication, such as Auslan, a word or picture board or other Alternative and Augmentative Communication system (such as picture boards or computer programs) that might be used by the person.
I've been challenged on the issue of a person with a disability being able to give consent to marriage during OPD. One of the celebrants in attendance works in disability care and she said the number of hoops they have to jump through to test consent about anything is massive. So she was concerned that celebrants have neither the training nor the expertise to be able to make this call for a marrying party.
I always go back to the sentence in s8.6.1 of the Guidelines that says:
In cases where there is doubt about whether a party is incapable of understanding the nature and effect of the marriage ceremony, a simple or general understanding will be sufficient. A high level of understanding is not required. The celebrant should ask questions of the person about whom they have concerns in order to gauge the level of their understanding of the marriage ceremony and what it involves. For example, why they want to marry the other person, what marriage is or where they will be living after the marriage.
So as an example, I had a groom who was clearly mildly cognitively impaired. Yet when I asked him about why he wanted to get married, he was able to tell me that his bride to be looked after him, that they were going to live together, that they went to church together every week, and that he loved her for cooking dinner for him every night. To me, that was sufficient to meet this test without impinging upon his right to marry.
That's not to say that you should feel any pressure to marry someone whose ability to consent you don't feel able to measure. If you have any concerns at all, follow the instructions in section 8.6 of the Guidelines. You are well within your rights to refuse to marry someone if you don't believe they are able to give full consent.
Section 8.8, p92
There's some new additional information in this section about the requirements for marriage of a minor, but given this is so incredibly rare, I'm not going to go into them here.
Section 11.1.2, p103
There is a new and surprising inclusion in the section on surprise marriages. We know the previous Guidelines outline that celebrants must not participate in a surprise wedding (when one party organises the marriage without their knowledge and then surprises them with it on the day or shortly before the ceremony) because there could be issues around putting undue pressure on the 'surprised' person to agree to the arrangement. However, the new Guidelines make the following exception:
It is not however, considered a surprise wedding where both of the parties have signed the NOIM and only the date of the wedding or event is the surprise component (provided that the minimum one month notice has been given to the celebrant). In this situation, it is a matter for the celebrant to ensure that both parties consent to the marriage, particularly where there has been some delay since signing the NOIM. It may be necessary to meet separately with the parties to ensure that one, or both, of the parties to the marriage have not changed their mind.
So this situation is only for a couple who have both been to see you, both signed the NOIM, and both agreed that one will surprise the other with the exact date of the wedding. They both know they will be getting married at some point between one month and 18 months in the future. The celebrant must still ensure both parties are consenting at all times up to and during the ceremony.
This section also includes another "don't call us" moment; the advice to advise the Attorney General's Department of any requests for a surprise wedding has been removed.
Section 11.2, p104
This new section outlines the department's views on pop up weddings.
‘Pop-up weddings’ are a growing trend in the wedding industry. A pop-up wedding generally involves a marriage celebrant working with other wedding industry suppliers (for example, photographers, decorators and florists) to provide wedding ceremonies. There is no restriction in the Marriage Act or the Marriage Regulations on authorised celebrants participating in pop-up weddings. However, your involvement in a pop-up wedding must not interfere with your ability to comply with your duties and obligations as a marriage celebrant.
Now that the conflict of interest and benefit to business guidelines have been loosened, there's unlikely to be any fuss about pop up weddings anymore, but I think it's good that the information has been included in the Guidelines regardless.
Section 11.3, p104
This section outlines the rules for ceremonies as prizes, and has again removed the guidance to contact the department if approached to participate in this type of ceremony. *sigh*
Section 13.2.2, p117
Those of you who've been paying attention will know that the new Marriage Regulations 2017 made significant changes to the Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants, removing many of the clauses around providing a high level of service. For example, the requirement to ensure the ceremony is audible to all in attendance was removed.
However the new Guidelines include this paragraph:
This list is not intended to limit what conduct and practice is captured by item 2. For example, the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants would also expect a marriage celebrant providing a high standard of service to: confirm details about a marriage with the parties to the marriage; take steps to ensure that the marriage ceremony is audible, and ensure that an appropriately high standard of service is provided to all marriages the celebrant solemnises, including where the marriage celebrant is solemnising multiple marriages on the same day.
So, you know, we're not going to set out in the Regulations what the expectations are; instead we're going to move them to the Guidelines, where they become guidance rather than a legal requirement. *sigh*
Section 13.3, p120
This section is all about the disciplinary measures the Registrar of Marriages can take against a Commonwealth-registered marriage celebrant, and the possible reasons outlined in the Marriage Act for such measures being taken. There's a very interesting addition to the list of circumstances under which the Registrar can take disciplinary action:
The marriage celebrant's notice requesting to be identified as a religious marriage celebrant was known by the marriage celebrant to be false or misleading in a material particular.
Now I've dug into the explanatory statements on the amendment bill from when the law was changed to grant marriage equality in 2017, but I can't find a specific reason for this addition. I *suspect* it's for anyone who requested to be identified as a religious marriage celebrant when their objection to same-sex marriage was a conscientious one rather than a religious one. Celebrants who wanted to become religious marriage celebrants so that they didn't have to solemnise same-sex marriages had to email the department to state "I wish to be identified as a religious marriage celebrant under the Marriage Act 1961. I confirm that this choice is based on my religious beliefs [emphasis added."
This is important because the Dean Smith bill, the one that eventually made it into law, did NOT allow for conscientious objections to marriage equality, only for religious ones. If a celebrant made a statement to the department that their reason for becoming a religious marriage celebrant was due to their religious beliefs when it wasn't, it seems from this new addition to the Act that the Registrar could take disciplinary action against them. Very interesting.
And that, my friends, is it. I hope this series has been helpful to you in identifying the changes to the Guidelines. Please let me know any comments or questions at all :)
### How to get professional photos to share on your socials
A common conversation amongst everyone in the wedding industry who is not a wedding photographer is asking photographers for photos.
It's great when you get them, it means your social media feeds have a professional feel over an iPhone photo feel, and it's literally their job to make art out of events so their photos are always going to be better than yours.
Some ground rules:
Start this process knowing that no photographer owes you photos. They simply don't, so if you get a photo, they're doing you a favour.
Never screenshot photos, just don't, when you screenshot images you take a large high resolution beautiful photo and then recapture it at the size of your phone. It's like a taking a photo of a photo and it's the first way to annoy your photographer friends.
Do not edit, crop, change the colour of, or add a filter to any photographs you are given. This is art, and 99 times out of one hundred, you can't make it better. And if you do edit the photo, then credit the photographer, your'e telling the world that the photographer had the final say on those colours, so maybe if you really like that filter, ask the photographer if they think it's an improvement.
Different photographers will have different rules for use, but unless they state otherwise, I would assume that these are only to be used in social media posts and blog posts that I own. So I'm not to send them to a wedding magazine or blog, submit them anywhere, or use them on billboards. If I was going to print photos for use in wedding fairs, billboards, or in marketing material, I would generally ask if it was ok.
The easiest way to share photos and give honour to the photographer is to share their blog, Facebook, or Instagram post natively. Natively means not-screenshotting the images, but clicking share on Facebook, so the original post is shared. On Instagram this means sharing their post or story to your own story.
Now that we've discussed rules, let's talk about how to get them.
How to ask
This is the easy part. Asking photographers for their photos is as simple as asking. I prefer email because they can reply in their own time, but if you're already in conversation with the photographer, perhaps on Instagram DM or Facebook Messenger, then simply pose the question.
Try not to ask on the wedding day, don't offer business cards or get them to write down your details. On the wedding day we are all-hands-on-deck and no-one cares about tomorrow's Instagram post.
What to ask?
Can I share some photos from the wedding, I promise to play by your rules, always credit and not edit. You can use whichever words you want, but keep it simple, don't waste their time, and be polite. (It sounds like a redundant thing to ask, but I've seen some of your emails)
Credit and not edit
When posting the photo/s, as early as your story allows credit the photographer. I like to try and make it a little bit cute and personal to, like how I've credited Michael Briggs in this Instagram post.
https://instagram.com/p/BlRcWN2ltOY/
Be sure to @mention them, which means before you start constructing the post you've identified what their Instagram username is, if you're on Facebook, you've done the same, and if it's on a blog then you're linking back to their website, or if you want to get tricky and they've blogged the same wedding, link to their blog post.
On Facebook @mentions work differently than on Instagram, you start with the @name but then choose their business page from the drop down list so it looks like Dan O'Days name on this post.
https://www.facebook.com/marriedbyjosh/photos/a.502243606524320.1073741826.110304969051521/1547489388666398/?type=3
You're welcome to word and caption to your heart's content, just make sure it is clear that you didn't take the photo and that if you're interested in finding out who the photographer is, that you can click a link.
A quick note on @mentions on Facebook: Each Facebook page has a username and a "display name". For example my own Facebook username is marriedbyjosh but my display name is Married By Josh.
If you visit a business' Facebook page you'll generally see the display name like mine in this screenshot "Married By Josh" and the username beneath.
When creating the post you can start typing @marriedbyjosh and my display name should come up for selection, or if you start typing @married by josh the same drop down box should appear.
When to ask
Sarah notes in the comments, and my friend James Day, both add good notes about when to ask. The average wedding photo contract promises delivery in under eight weeks, and the average delivery time is three to five weeks. So I'd be setting a timer/reminder/note to not ask the day after the wedding but to wait about six weeks.
Final note, what can you give?
This whole post has been about what you can get from a photographer, but consider what you could give as well. If you're a marriage celebrant you know the couple's story, and possibly even some vows. They've got the photos but you've got the captions. You need to be respectful of your couples' privacy, and not share too much, but I'll ask couples if they don't mind some of their story being told in social media, plus those that book me see me doing it for others, and if they would like it to be private, they'll let me know.
If you're not a celebrant reading this guide, then maybe there's other value you can bring to a photographer. Don't feel like this whole experience requires give and take, but it's the human way of operating, so at least offer a thanks and if someone's looking for a photographer, don't be afraid to refer them.
https://instagram.com/p/Bkvyng5F8sk/
### Five ways to make your ceremonies better
A recent Seth Godin post about presentations of the corporate/Microsoft Powerpoint kind, spurred me on to thinking about our presentation style as celebrants. My ceremony presentation style has it's roots in a) what I'm good at and b) what I like. Yours should too, so don't read this and feel judged or ashamed. If your style is you at your best, and in a style that you would like to receive, then be proud. Hopefully these five points might inspire you to expand your presentation style and take you out of your comfort zone, which can only make you better.
Read Seth Godin's post first, and then I've got a translation for celebrants below.
1. Make it shorter. There's no extra points for speaking too long. "Too long" is a difficult unit of measurement however, I've attended ceremonies that went for 10 minutes that felt like an hour, and I've attended ceremonies that went for an hour that felt like 10 minutes. The simple solution is to make your ceremonies as short and as long as they need to be. Make it short enough to hold people's attention, precise enough to be taken seriously, but long enough to say something that matters.
2. Be really clear about what the ceremony is for. We've all had those requests to do a naming and a marriage ceremony together, and my standard response is that I don't want to mix two important things together. Each one deserves it's own breathing room. In preparing and delivering your ceremony, be clear and concise about what is happening and why it's happening. This takes great consultation with your couples because every marriage, and every couple is different.
3. Don't read word for word off a page. Reading off a page when public speaking comes with a number of issues, firstly, your chin is down and you're facing the book in your hands, which is probably held low, so your voice changes tone. Then you may be so focused on the words you're reading that you miss the real elements of the ceremony. And if the best part of the ceremony is the words, print and hand it out to everyone. You see, I believe that your delivery and presence has more value than the individual words. So write your script, and learn it, and even have it there to help you through, but don't spend the whole ceremony with your head in a book and out of the moment.
4. Don’t sing, don’t dance, don’t tell jokes. If those three skills are foreign to you, this is not a good time to try them out.
5. Be here now. The reason you’re giving a presentation and not sending us a memo is that your personal presence, your energy and your humanity add value. Don’t hide them. Don’t use a prescribed format if that format doesn’t match the best version of you.
For those of you that read Seth's post first you'll note I stole the last two points straight off him. I think it's funny how many similarities there are between corporate presentations and wedding ceremonies, and I think our wedding ceremonies could be better.
### Personal vows and their content
Veronica asks:
I know according to section 45(2) of the Marriage Act, couples are required to say "I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband); or words to that effect." When it comes to couples personalising their vows, aside from the previous mentioned, do couples have to say certain things, or are they free to say what they see fit?
This one's almost easy: they can literally say whatever they see fit, almost...
Page 71 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018 says:
Couples wishing to personalise their vows further are able to lengthen their vows by adding their chosen wording after saying the minimum words (so long as any material added does not contradict the minimum vows). In this sense, the minimum words are the starting point from which personalised vows can be constructed.
So couples can say whatever they want in their personal vows, as long as they don't contradict what's in the legal vows or what's in the Monitum. For example, they can't say, "I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. take thee, C.D. to be my lawful wedded wife, but only until I stop liking you." I also don't want to hear them state anything that would be a crime, for example, "I promise to take on all your demerit points so you don't lose your licence." That's illegal, and no matter how much of a joke it is, I don't want to hear it in my presence as I am an officer of the Commonwealth. Keep jokes like that for the speech at the reception.
This section of the Guidelines says that the legal vows should go before the personalised vows, but I can't think of a single good reason for that, so I often ignore this suggestion. I often get the parties to read their personal vows from a card I've printed for them (and I show them how to hold the microphone and the card in a way that allows them to still hold hands), and then they repeat the legal vows after me while they exchange rings. Josh does it this way too, as do a bunch of other celebrants I know. (Damon, I stole this one from you, thank you very much!)
There's some lovely symbolism to this. The point at which they say their legal vows is the point at which the couple becomes married, but the guests generally don't know that. The guests do, however, recognise the symbolism of the ring exchange, so exchanging rings at the moment of becoming married brings it all together for the couple and their guests.
There's lots of blog posts and articles about how to write personal vows, but if I have a person who's really stuck, I ask them to tell me five things they love about their partner, and five things they want to promise them for their future lives together. I think that sums it all up nicely :)
Also just a note on the legal vows. The ones Veronica has quoted in her question are from the pre-marriage equality Marriage Act. Section 45(2) of the Marriage Act 1961 now says parties must say to each other "I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband, or spouse)" [emphasis added]. The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018, at page 70, further add that under "words to that effect", parties can choose to take each other as their "partner in marriage" rather than wife, husband or spouse.
### Pricing on websites; to list or not to list??? Josh’s view
Ella asks:
Price points seem to be a hot topic everywhere… Would you recommend putting your fees on your website?
Some celebrants display their price on their website, others don’t. Some also seem to provide services cheaper then a BDM wedding. Which poses that question that some people expect you to compete on price, they aren’t comparing the quality of service provided. Only the number they see on the page…
As Sarah noted, everyone has a different answer on this, and here is mine. Don't count this post as the final word, it's just a brain dump on a Wednesday afternoon. I'm sure this is a topic we'll return to over and over, and I'd invite you to list your thoughts in the comments.
--
Price, that big bad number we all freak out about.
Firstly we wonder, are we charging too much, or not enough.
Then we look at the profit & loss, or the budget, and start freaking out because our price multiplied by the number of bookings doesn't match that magical budgeted number.
Finally, we get the couples with feedback like "you're too expensive" or worse "is that all??"
This is a discussion that has kept me up at night in building my own business, and even just this week in trying to think how to best answer this question.
What is your price for?
I like to view my price as part of my customer journey. It's just one of the touch points in between a couple finding out that I exist, and booking me. On the same journey there's emails, web pages, social media, advertising, conversation, and booking forms.
Because my business is a customer jounrney focused business. Because my business is focused on providing an experience to the couple, well before any ceremony takes place, my price is made available by request. So it's not publicly on the website, but if you enter your email address I'll automatically send it to your email and even your phone. You can try it now - visit marriedbyjosh.com and request an information pack.
I'm not ashamed of my fee, and want it to be easily known to my couples, but I also want it to be part of the journey. So I ask for their email address, and every week I publish a value-adding email called "On getting married and being married". Everyone who has requested an info pack gets that email, so they know I exist, and they know my fee, but I'm continuing the relationship and also building value.
Because I want to have the price position of "I might cost a lot, but you'll get way more than you paid for". Because I think that's a position I can win, and for me to give you more than you paid for, we need to establish relationship. You need to join my tribe. It's not as a simple as scrolling down a list of celebrants and choosing one.
It's more than likely that your business has a different price position and purpose in your price. So it's not a matter of displaying your price on your website or not, the better question is "why am I/why am I not displaying my price on my website?"
If your only differentiator is that you're the cheapest, then the best way to announce that to the world is to display your price, note how much cheaper you are than everyone else, perhaps offer discounts, and maybe post a photo of your soul slowly withering away.
I've also used price as a filter, to keep tyre kickers and price-conscious couples away. I increased the leads into my website (through marketing and advertising) then put my fee publicly available, no info pack request needed. This worked if I increased the volume, but the visit to enquiry rate was right down, because there was no relationship and journey for most of the couples.
For most of my existence as a celebrant I had never mentioned price on my website, and only couples that enquiried would receive pricing information. All this did was lead to a large number of enquiries but terribly low conversion rate because not everyone was willing to pay my price.
In the end I'll always advocate for the average Australian marriage celebrant to be building a powerfully local and small tribe who value them, their service, and their worldview, and those people want you for you, not because of your price. Obviously price is still a thing, but it's not the last word, nor is it the first. It's just part of the conversation.
My final encouragement for you is to embrace the conversation. When people say "I haven't budgeted that much" know that they are booking and luxury service in a wedding, and if you are a good celebrant and you provide a good service, then don't be dismayed. Learn to communicate your value outside of those numbers we identify as price, communicate it confidently, succinctly, and in a way that a five year old could understand.
So I guess I'm saying don't hide your price but maybe don't advertise it like a $2 store would. Make it part of the conversation. When your price is live on your website for all to read, the conversation around it - your website, social media, and marketing - better be really really good. And if you don't view the enquiry process as a conversation, over a marketplace or bargaining type of arrangement then this advice will probably not help you at all.
### My ceremony writing timeline
Mercy asks:
This relates to the questionnaire you send your couples. I've been doing the same, but as I'm fairly new, don't really have a system in place as to when couples need to get back to me. When you send the questionnaire do you give your couples a deadline, if so do they generally stick to it, and what if they don't?? And when do you tell couples you'll send a first draft, final draft etc? Or do you sometimes have to play by ear according to the couples. So far I haven't had any issues but I imagine some couples dragging their feet could affect getting the ceremony written. Would love your input on this.
I definitely have a process and a timeline and deadlines and reminders and it all works! I’m much more process driven than a lot of celebrants (including Josh!) but it works for me, and my couples appreciate the fact that they don’t have to think or remember anything; I tell them exactly when everything is due and send them reminders when necessary.
So what does my process look like? I know I’ve described this verbally in the podcast, but I’m more than happy to write down the timeline so you can adapt it if you see any usefulness in it.
The process I’m about to outline is only relating to the ceremony planning and creation and it’s only relevant for my Premium Personalised Ceremony. There is a whole separate (but related) process relating to legal and financial stuff, and a slightly different ceremony creation process for my other ceremonies. One day I’ll write down the entire thing end to end for each ceremony, but right now, to answer Mercy’s question, I’ll stick to the ceremony planning process for the Premium Personalised Ceremony.
1. Ceremony Builder Booklet: After the couple have signed my service agreement and paid their booking fee, I email them a PDF of the Ceremony Builder Booklet. In the email I encourage them to print it out so they can write on it or highlight bits, and I let them know we’ll be discussing it at our next meeting.
2. Planning meeting organisation: Three months before their ceremony date I email the couple to organise our planning and legals meeting. We complete the NOIM at that meeting so I ask them to bring their legal documents, but most importantly for the ceremony planning I remind them that we’ll be going through the Ceremony Builder Booklet to figure out what they’d like to include in their ceremony. I ask them to bring along their printed copy of the booklet along with their thoughts about any additional information they’d like me to provide.
3. Planning meeting: At our planning meeting, after completing the NOIM, we move to planning their ceremony. I have a 3-page booking form that I fill out by hand while I’m sitting with the couple.
The first page includes information about:
their preferred names for the ceremony
ceremony date and start time (I like to confirm it at this three-month point just in case anything has changed since they booked me)
venue, whether they’re planning an indoor or outdoor ceremony, and if outdoor, what their backup plan is
their theme (colour or otherwise), number of guests, whether a PA is needed, whether the venue or another supplier is providing the signing table or chairs, and whether they’re having live music at the ceremony
their wedding party: first names of their attendants, any juniors such as flower girls or page boys, and the full legal names of their official witnesses
their families: are their parents together, if they’re separated are they bringing new partners and what are their names, how many siblings do they have and do they need jobs in the ceremony, whether there will be any grandparents in attendance, and whether there are any family sensitivities I need to be aware of (e.g. Mum and Dad don’t speak to each other so I shouldn’t encourage them to sit together)
The second and third pages have sections for every element of the traditional basic ceremony as set out in my Ceremony Builder Booklet, and over the years I’m streamlined this a lot. It used to just be a bunch of lines for each element, but with experience I’ve learned what couples usually want for each element, so I have a bunch of choices written out and I just have to complete or circle the correct one. Then there’s an extra line or two in case they’ve got anything completely different that I haven’t considered.
While I’m going through that process with them, they let me know if there’s anything additional I need to send them, for example the couple questionnaire, my music list, my readings list, my vow pack, more ring ceremonies or askings. I let them know that I’ll be sending that information through by email in the next day or so.
At the end of the meeting I confirm that I’ll have a script to them 4 weeks before their ceremony, and that they should feel free to let me know any changes at all they’d like me to make.
4. Resources email: In the days after the planning meeting I send almost every couple an email with additional resources, depending on what they’ve asked for. In that email I let them know the dates I need each element confirmed by. I ask for the questionnaire responses by 6 weeks before the ceremony, and readings, music and vows by 2 weeks before the ceremony. I put the actual dates in the email rather than 6 weeks or 2 weeks, so they don’t have to work it out, they get to just refer to the email. For this upcoming season I’ve developed a little form that I’ll give couples at our planning meeting that has all those dates on it, so they can stick it on their fridge if they want, as a constant visual reminder of when my stuff is due.
5. Ceremony writing: I write their ceremony in the window between when their questionnaires arrive 6 weeks before and when I’ve promised them a draft by 4 weeks before the ceremony. The draft will invariably have some holes in it because they may not have confirmed vows, music or readings by then, but that’s okay; I mark in the ceremony where those bits will go, highlight it in yellow and put the due date in there as a reminder.
Of course sometimes people need to be reminded that various bits and pieces are outstanding, but that’s one of the reasons I ask for everything relatively far out from the ceremony, so there’s plenty of time for people to be late. I don’t really need the questionnaires until 4 weeks out because I write so quickly. I don’t really need the vows and music and reaadings until a few days before the ceremony when I’m putting together the version I’ll read on the day. If they never receive a completely final draft because they haven’t chosen their music or readings until a few days out, so be it (they will never receive a draft that includes their personal vows anyway). My timeline gives me time enough to prepare their ceremony while allowing for them to be late with some elements.
Generally I find a gentle hey, how are you going with your questionnaire responses, vows, readings, music, etc, does the trick. The couples I work with know that I am process-driven and they generally love that I give them deadlines. I also have it written into my service agreement that if they haven’t confirmed their choices by 72 hours before the ceremony, I’ll be choosing for them. That seems to help as well :)
The thing that people are crappest at is giving me feedback about the ceremony draft. If they’re having a rehearsal it’s no problem because I just ask them then, but if they’re not having a rehearsal I do have to follow up a few times. I often get a “oh we’re just so busy”; yeah, so am I, and you’re not my only client, but I provide a draft early enough and remind them about feedback early enough that they generally send me what I need with plenty of time to spare.
All in all, I’m yet to have a major issue. I’m sure one will come, but for the time being my process is working!
If you’d be interested in purchasing a copy of my booking form, let me know and I’ll get it set up as a download!
### The rules for commitment ceremonies
Jac asks:
I have a couple coming up. They got married a year ago (pretty much for their families to have a religious ceremony). None of their friends know this though. Before getting married officially for their parents, they said they would only do it their parents' way if they could have a big bash with their friends the way they want this year. The time has come! It's within a month.
I met with them yesterday and they were so stressed about their friends finding out etc that they were already married. I explained that we wouldn't have to focus on that and include in the scripting that "this is the day that Jack and Jill are choosing to celebrate their marriage in front of you special people blah blah blah". Instead of doing official paperwork, I offered a commemorative certificate instead (as this doesn't have any legal bearing anyway). Are there any issues with what can/cannot be written on this? Would 'wedding certificate' be safe?
I really don't want to say 'THIS CEREMONY IS IN NO WAY LEGAL/BINDING' so I was just going to gloss over it a little how you explained in your previous podcast. Obviously no Monitum will be said and there will be no legal vows but the couple will still write their own. Obviously I won't be doing DONLIMs or submitting anything formal to BDM, but I thought the 'pretty' certificate or a commemorative certificate would be okay. Anything else I should look out for?
The Guidelines are pretty clear on this, but let me give you my interpretation of what they say.
Let's start by looking at what s99(6) of the Marriage Act 1961 says:
A person shall not, in contravention of subsection 113(1), purport to solemnise a marriage between persons who inform the first-mentioned person that they are already legally married to each other or whom the first-mentioned person knows or has reason to believe to be already legally married to each other.
Further, s113(1) of the Marriage Act 1961 says:
Except in accordance with this section, persons who are already legally married to each other shall not, in Australia or under Part V, go through a form of ceremony of marriage with each other, and a person who is authorised by this Act to solemnise marriages shall not purport to solemnise a marriage in Australia or under Part V between persons who inform the first-mentioned person that they are already legally married to each other or whom the first-mentioned person knows or has reason to believe to be already legally married to each other.
These sections make it an offence for a Commonwealth-Registered Marriage Celebrant to purport (falsely appear, pretend) to perform a marriage ceremony when they know or have reason to believe the parties are already married to each other.
Section 11.6, starting on page 105, of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants further explain these clauses:
Celebrants may conduct commitment ceremonies for a couple. These are not marriages and the commitment ceremony must not purport to be a marriage.
As a commitment ceremony is not considered a legal marriage, the celebrant must not prepare or submit any paperwork (such as the NOIM and declarations as to conjugal status). Witnesses are not required for a commitment ceremony. A certificate of marriage, or any other certificate referring to the Marriage Act, must not be prepared for a commitment ceremony. In order to avoid doubt, celebrants must avoid using the words ‘wedding’ or ‘marriage’ to describe the ceremony.
A commitment ceremony could incorporate important rituals and provide photographic records; however, it has to be publicly made clear to everyone present that the ceremony is not a marriage.
Celebrants should deliver an appropriate introduction at the beginning of the ceremony making it clear to the guests that the ceremony is not a marriage ceremony and that if applicable the marriage has already occurred or is due to occur at a later date.
Given all of this information, what can and can't we, as authorised celebrants, do? First the cans:
We CAN conduct commitment ceremonies or vow renewals for couples.
We CAN provide a commemorative certificate for the couple to sign during the ceremony, as long as it isn't called a Certificate of Marriage and doesn't mention the Marriage Act (i.e. don't copy the wording from the Form 15 presentation certificate; it's not accurate for the ceremony being performed). Celebration of Marriage, Renewal of Vows, Certificate of Commitment are all acceptable alternatives.
We CAN (particularly if the couple is already married) use the words husband and wife, pronounce them married, present them as Mr and Mrs, have them exchange vows and rings, include readings or rituals or music or anything else that goes into a marriage ceremony.
We CAN make a statement at the beginning of the ceremony that although this isn't a legally binding ceremony, it's the day the couple view as their wedding day, as it's the one they're sharing with their favourite people. The section quoted from the Guidelines states celebrants must avoid using the words 'wedding' or 'marriage' to describe the ceremony, but I can't find a legislative basis for them to use the word 'must', and therefore take it as a strong recommendation rather than a legal requirement.
And now for the can'ts:
We CAN'T recite the words in s46(1) of the Marriage Act 1961, also known as the Monitum, nor can we ask the parties to recite the words required by s45(2) of the Marriage Act 1961, also known as the legal vows.
We CAN"T ask the parties to sign any of the legally required marriage paperwork, such as the Notice of Intended Marriage, the Declaration of No Legal Impediment, the Official Certificates of Marriage, or the Form 15 presentation certificate.
We CAN'T produce a document for the couple to sign during the ceremony that is called a Certificate of Marriage or that mentions the Marriage Act in any way.
We CAN'T gloss over the fact that the ceremony is not legally binding. We must make a statement to that effect, otherwise we are committing an offence under s99(6) of the Marriage Act 1961.
Unfortunately in Jac's situation it is likely that at least some of the people attending the ceremony will pick up on the fact that they're already married. Hopefully they won't be so gauche as to mention it to the happy couple on the day, but the couple should definitely prepare to explain at a later date if the topic comes up! Every couple I know who has married legally at a different time from the celebration with their family and friends has had a perfectly reasonable explanation for doing so, as this couple does, and hopefully they can come to be comfortable enough in their decision to own it and not worry about what everyone else thinks!
### Parents' names on the NOIM
Listing the parents' names on the NOIM is often a huge headache. What if one of them changed their name? Do you put their name when they were born or when the party was born? What if there's a spelling error in their name on your birth certificate? What if they go by an anglicised name? The Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants have, until now, been silent on this matter, and it's often been a point of contention between celebrants. Some celebrants say you should put whatever is on the party's birth certificate, because the important thing is to be able to link all the records. Some celebrants say you should put whatever the father's legal name is now, regardless of what it was when the party was born. But all that has changed with the release of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018, so I was pleased to be able to answer the following question.
I seem to always encounter issues with the Bride’s mums' maiden names when completing the NOIM! This issue (all names have been changed) is below, any advice would be hugely appreciated.
NOIM completed by Bride with:
1) Mothers maiden name: Sue Sarandon
2) Fathers name: Sylvesterino Stallone
Parents' names as recorded on Bride’s birth certificate (produced as ID with gov-issued photo ID) are as follows:
1) Mothers maiden name: Susan Sarandon
2) Fathers name: Sylvester Stallone
During our meeting, I advised the Bride that it would be most correct to record her parents names as per her original birth certificate. She said she thought that her mother had changed her name legally to Sue. I was of the understanding that, if this was the case, then all official documents (including the Bride’s birth certificate) would have been been reissued with the Mother’s ‘new’ legal name. She also mentioned that she thought her Father’s name had been recorded incorrectly on her birth certificate as his ‘anglicised’ name (which was not his legal name). On the basis of the birth certificate, we signed the NOIM with their names as they are recorded on the Bride’s birth certificate.
I have now received an email from the Bride letting me know that she has spoken to her mother who told her that a solicitor advised she could not use ‘Susan’ on any legal documentation as she has legally changed her name to ‘Sue’. They have provided a scan of a certified copy of a statutory declaration from 1997 setting out details of the ‘renunciation’ of her former name. The mother also mentioned that the father (now deceased) never officially changed his name from Sylvesterino to Sylvester, and they have provided a copy of his birth certificate.
The couple wish to update the NOIM to include the preferred names of Sue and Sylvesterino. Long story, short question: do I put the onus back on them to provide true and accurate information and allow the NOIM to be updated to include the preferred names for the parents (rather than insist they are listed as per Bride’s birth certificate)??
When the draft version of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018 came out and we were given the opportunity to provide feedback before the final version was published, I included the following in my (rather lengthy!) submission:
There is nothing in these Guidelines about parents' names on the marriage paperwork.
Should they be the names listed on the party's birth certificate?
What if the party presents a passport, and gives a parent's Anglicised name, when their original European (for example) name is on the party's birth certificate?
What if the party's father has changed his name since the party was born?
What if the party's mother changed her maiden name by deed poll etc before she was married? Which "maiden" name is used then?
What if a party "knows" who their father is and wants to include him on the marriage paperwork, but the birth certificate lists father as Unknown? Can we list him on the marriage paperwork or are we bound by what's on the birth certificate?
What if a party's father is listed on their birth certificate but they don't want to list him on the marriage paperwork? Can they leave him off?
Naturally the final version didn't actually address ALL of my questions (some of which I will follow up for further clarification on), but on page 28 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Authorised Celebrants 2018, they included this nifty little paragraph:
The NOIM requires that the parties to the marriage list their parents. In most cases people will list their parents as per their birth certificates or adoption papers. Not all parents are listed on birth certificates; it is up to the parties to list their parents using the names as they know them by. There is no requirement to sight evidence of the parents’ names irrespective of whether a birth certificate is produced. A statutory declaration is not required for this item.
There is so much in that one little paragraph, so let's unpack it a bit.
"In most cases people will list their parents as per their birth certificates or adoption papers." Okay, makes sense. That one's easy.
"Not all parents are listed on birth certificates; it is up to the parties to list their parents using the names as they know them by." Wait, what? So now we can list a parent who is not listed on a birth certificate (that's always been regarded in celebrant discussions as a no-no), and we can list them as whatever names the party knows them by? This is a major change from the accepted wisdom touted by many, many celebrants (myself included, to be perfectly honest).
"There is no requirement to sight evidence of the parents’ names irrespective of whether a birth certificate is produced." So even if we do sight a birth certificate as proof of date and place of birth of the party, we DO NOT have to use the parents' names as listed on it. Another major change.
So in answer to the question posed, the bride should definitely put Sue and Sylvester, as she doesn't need to provide proof of their names, and what's on her birth certificate is irrelevant!
Actually amazing. It's well worth a very careful read of the new Guidelines to find little gems like this!
### Prospective Marriage Visa: the celebrant's role
Shamini asks:
I have my first Proposed marriage visa letter. Do I get the couple to fill out the NOIM and groom sign it (bride is overseas). Prepare a letter and then only when she gets in the country get her to sign the NOIM? Or does she need to sign the NOIM in her country before I can give a visa letter?
There are multiple different visas a person can apply for in order to emigrate to Australia. If an Australian citizen or permanent resident falls in love with a citizen from another country, applying for a Prospective Marriage Visa (PMV) is one way the overseas partner can start the process of emigrating to Australia.
Remember, celebrants are in no way, shape or form allowed to give migration advice to couples. We must be mindful of the boundaries of our role. However, a PMV requires documentation from a celebrant before it can be approved, so this post is about the celebrant's role in this process.
Background
The Prospective Marriage Visa (subclass 300, sometimes known as a fiance visa) can be applied for when one party is an Australian permanent resident or citizen (the Sponsor) and the other party is an overseas resident (the Applicant). The overseas partner applies for a PMV to enter Australia to marry their Australian partner. Applications currently cost $7160 and take 13-19 months to be processed. If you're interested, you can find information on eligibility (including age, relationship, health, character and sponsorship), what the party can do while holding the visa, costs, documentation and other considerations on the Department of Home Affairs website.
The application requires "proof (such as a letter from the person who will officiate at the wedding) that you will marry your prospective spouse within nine months of being granted the visa." The Department of Home Affairs is currently updating their resources, but the old Partner Migration Booklet (which I read on the Department of Immigration and Border Protection website in 2017) provided further information on the contents of this letter:
Such evidence must be a signed and dated letter (on letterhead) from an authorised marriage celebrant who will conduct your wedding ceremony. The letter must include the place and date (or date range) on which the planned marriage ceremony may take place. If you plan to marry in Australia, the celebrant must confirm that a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) for you and your fiancé(e) has been lodged with them.
The date (or date range) on which the planned marriage ceremony may take place (shown in the letter from the marriage celebrant) should be set far enough in the future to allow for the time it takes to process your visa application. For information on current service standards for Prospective Marriage visa applications, refer to the Department’s website. If you are granted a Prospective Marriage visa, your marriage can take place either in or outside Australia, but you must have entered Australia at least once on the Prospective Marriage visa before the marriage takes place. In addition, your marriage must occur within the 9-month validity period of your Prospective Marriage visa.
The celebrant's role
So what exactly do we have to do? I have worked with multiple PMV couples, and this is the process I follow.
1. On initial enquiry, ask for certain details to complete the letter of support. My letter of support template requires the parties' full names, a proposed date for the wedding (because it looks good to the Department if the couple are making firm plans for a wedding), and whether the Australian partner is an Australian citizen or permanent resident. It also states that I've taken a non-refundable booking fee (again, good to show the couple is serious about getting married), and that I will be available to solemnise the marriage between a date in one month (the first date they could marry after the notice period) and a date in 18 months (the last date the NOIM is valid). You can download my letter template at the bottom of this post.
2. Prepare the letter of support to take to the meeting.
3. Meet with the Australian partner to complete a Notice of Intended Marriage. If the overseas partner is here visiting, all well and good, you can meet with them as well, but the NOIM only needs to be signed by one party to be lodged with a celebrant. I ask the Australian partner to bring his/her passport/birth certificate, driver's licence and proof of the termination of any previous marriages. I also ask the Australian partner to bring print outs of the same documents for the overseas partner, or of course the originals if the overseas partner is in Australia at the time. I always want to see the overseas partner's documents well before the wedding, and if they're applying for this visa they will have gathered all of those documents anyway, so it's no hardship for them. Remember you'll need to see official translations if the overseas documents are not written in English.
4. Collect a booking fee and an administration fee. For this process I charge a $175 booking fee, which is my booking fee for a Legals Only Ceremony, and a $55 administration fee for preparation and supply of the letter of support, so $220 inc GST. I charge the booking fee for my Legals Only Ceremony because at the time of application couples often don't know what kind of wedding they're going to have in Australia. The booking fee then goes towards the cost of their wedding when their visa is approved and they decide on which of my ceremony types they want.
5. Give them the letter of support. The parties of course also need to receive the Happily Ever Before and After brochure.
6. Contact the overseas partner to ensure they are aware of the marriage. While it's perfectly legal to accept a NOIM that is only signed by one partner, both partners are still required by s42 of the Marriage Act to give notice that they intend to marry. There's also often information required by the NOIM that the Australian partner doesn't know, for example the overseas partner's home address, and their parents' full names. Finally, the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018 make it clear that both partners need to receive their own copy of the Happily Ever Before and After brochure. So I take the opportunity to cover all three issues. I send an email to the overseas partner asking if they are aware of the marriage and happy to go ahead, I ask them for any details the Australian partner didn't know to complete the NOIM, and I attach the electronic copy of Happily Ever Before and After (remember it's been translated into lots of different languages). In fact I do this with any couple where only one partner has signed the NOIM, not only in visa situations. You can download my email template at the bottom of this post.
7. Wait for them to get in touch with you when the visa is granted. That's it! I do make a note for myself to contact them in 17 months to remind them that the NOIM will expire in one month, and if they don't marry within that month I reserve the right to charge additional fees for completing and lodging a new NOIM. At this point sometimes couples jump to it and we plan a wedding, or they let me know they've broken up, or that they're having trouble with the visa, or I never hear from them again. Regardless, I feel I've done the right thing by them by letting them know their paperwork is about to expire.
A few don'ts
So that's what we do have to do for a Prospective Marriage Visa. After the visa is granted, the marriage goes ahead as normal. If the overseas partner didn't sign the NOIM when it was lodged, they can sign it any time before the ceremony, but they MUST sign it with the celebrant as witness. Ensure you see originals of all their identity documents, and you're good to go.
As I said, I've done this multiple times in the last few years, so here's a few don'ts from my hard-earned experience.
1. Don't hold a date. I tell my visa couples that I won't be setting aside a date for them. Invariably they don't allow enough time for the visa to be processed, and they end up rescheduling multiple times. They have nine months to get married once the visa is granted, so that's plenty of time for them to get in touch with me and settle on a date for the wedding.
2. Don't give them the letter of support until you get the money. I did that once in my first year and I never heard from him again.
3. Don't give them the NOIM. It's not required. You can check that link above for yourself and see the list of required documents. Not even a copy is required, however some migration agents or lawyers are determined that they do need the NOIM to add to the application. I'm always happy to email the parties a copy of the NOIM; it's their information and their document, after all. I prefer to send it to the parties and let them send it on rather than send it to a migration agent/lawyer directly. This covers me for any privacy issues.
4. Don't put your A number in the letter of support or on the NOIM. The visa application USED to have a field asking for the celebrant's authorisation number. Since I've been a celebrant that field was never a required field, but of course couples want to do everything they can to ensure their application will be granted, so they would insist I gave it to them. As you may be aware, the Attorney General's Department has told us on multiple occasions to keep our A numbers secure and not share them with anyone. They therefore lobbied the then Department of Immigration and Border Control to have this field REMOVED entirely from the application. While the online application no longer has that field, there may still be a few paper copies floating around that have that question. You should feel quite comfortable refusing to give out your A number and citing page 4 of the Marriage Celebrant Matters Summer 2016-17 newsletter, as I did to a migration lawyer a few weeks ago. In terms of putting your A number on the NOIM, I'm sure you're all aware that we don't fill in the Celebrant's Number box on page 4 of the NOIM until AFTER the wedding...
That's it! It's nothing to be concerned or frightened about, it's nice and easy. Let me know if you have any questions at all.
Legal stuff
The limits of our role as celebrants, including not providing migration advice, are outlined on page 15 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018. The necessity to refer couples who request advice on obtaining a visa to the Department of Home Affairs is outlined on page 40 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
The ability for celebrants to accept a NOIM that is only signed by one party where it is not convenient for the other party to sign is outlined at s42(3) of the Marriage Act 1961, and further discussed on pages 25 and 40 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
The necessity to sight certain documents re proof of identity and freedom to marry is outlined at s42(1)(b) of the Marriage Act 1961, and further discussed from page 43 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
The necessity for both parties to give notice is outlined at s42 of the Marriage Act 1961, and further discussed on pages 25 and 40 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
The necessity for both parties to receive a copy of the Happily Ever Before and After Brochure, and the ability to provide it to them in hard copy or electronically, is outlined on page 56 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
The requirement for the second party to sign the NOIM in front of the authorised celebrant where the NOIM has been lodged with only one signature is outlined on pages 25 and 40 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
My templates for download
[purchase_link id="320" text="Purchase a letter of support template" style="button" color="blue"]\
[purchase_link id="323" text="Purchase an email to confirm notice template" style="button" color="blue"]
### Ceremony script writing - Sarah's view
Liane asks:
As a reasonably new celebrant (2016) my question to you both is how can I improve my skills and knowledge on writing ceremony scripts? How do you guys keep yourselves updated and up-skilled in this area?
Can you recommend any resources, websites etc to increase my creative bank (example quotes, styles of weddings)?
What framework do you both use when creating your wedding script?
Once again, Josh and I have VERY different views on this, so we're answering this one separately :)
First up, it's really important to know that ceremony writing is a very personal thing, and EVERY celebrant approaches it differently. This is just the way I do it, and that's not to say it's good, bad or other. It's just the way it works for me and has evolved over my celebrant career.
My bank of material
Over the past four and a half years as a celebrant, I've built up, as Liane calls it, a bank of material that I choose from when writing my ceremony scripts. It's all loaded into a single Word document template, separated into the different parts of a ceremony. So I have a bunch of bits to choose from for honouring deceased relatives, for a family blessing, for a community blessing, for all the little segue bits throughout the ceremony (e.g. introducing the vows, introducing the rings), for words on love and marriage, and for a blessing at the end of the ceremony. My entire template is currently 30 pages long. I also have separate documents with readings, wording for rituals, and suggestions for askings, vows and ring ceremonies for my couples.
I have a similar template for funerals with different opening quotes, words about grief, introductions to reflection time, committals and concluding words. Similarly I have lots of readings I can refer to if the family requests my help in this area.
Both my wedding and funeral templates are set out in the order of a traditional basic ceremony, with sub-headings for each section, so I'm simply following the normal pattern as I'm building the ceremony.
How did I put these templates together? How do I increase it when need be? When I first started I did a lot of Googling to find ceremony samples; you'd be amazed how many celebrants post entire ceremonies publicly on their websites. I still do a lot of Googling for quotes and readings when I don't have quite the right thing in my collection. I also own a bunch of books with ceremony samples in them; the biggest issue I've found with a lot of the celebrancy books currently on the market is that the wording in them is quite traditional, conservative and old-fashioned, and it doesn't really suit the way I speak or deliver my ceremonies. When I look at some of my early scripts using those bits and bobs I got from those books, I do cringe a bit! But I love to read, so I'm always happy to add another book to my collection. I'll pop a list of the books in my collection at the bottom of this post.
Along the way I've joined a whole bunch of celebrant Facebook groups, and on a weekly basis (at a minimum) someone will ask "hey, has anyone done a handfasting? What wording did you use?" or "how do you all manage honouring deceased relatives in your wedding ceremony?" or "does anyone have a great reading for this type of person?" etc etc etc. Celebrants in those groups I belong to are all exceptionally generous with their material and happy to share. Most of them probably nicked half of their material from someone else too! So I copy and paste the bits I like, drop them into my template or my additional documents, and there they are, ready to use when I need them.
Having said that, it's very rare that I'll use the bits exactly the way they were written by whoever I've copied them from. I'll usually tweak bits that I feel don't flow, or that don't match the type of language I'm comfortable with. I'll also tweak bits to match the couple I'm marrying, to make those somewhat generic words fit this particular couple better. I'm also starting to find that none of the wording I have on file fits some couples, particularly same sex couples. I've been writing a lot of completely original content for my same sex weddings, because there are important additional factors in a lot of their relationships that aren't so relevant for heterosexual couples, particularly if they've been together for a long time, or if they've dealt with a lot of adversity throughout their relationship. Most of my same sex couples also want to include some material about their feelings about marriage equality, about how it came to be, and about their joy at having their relationships validated in this way. So all of that has needed new content. Of course I'm not above reusing and tweaking the content from one same sex marriage for another same sex marriage, cos it's all awesome, and I figure why reinvent the wheel?
Personal writing framework
For weddings, I write the couple's story from scratch every time, but even that follows a kind of set outline based on the questions I ask them. I talk about how they met, what were their first impressions of each other, when and why they fell in love, the proposal story, then I direct the story to each partner to tell them what makes the other smile about them, what drives them crazy, and what they love about each other. I finish up with what they're both looking forward to about being married and doing together in the future.
Similarly for funerals, most families ask me to write and deliver the eulogy, which again is from scratch every time but also follows somewhat of a set outline because I'm telling a life story. I like to tell this as much in chronological order as possible, inserting the tribute speakers along the way at the appropriate moment. For example, if the deceased's best friend is giving a tribute, I'll talk about how and when they met and then ask the friend to speak. I prefer to do that rather than have the eulogy as a block and then a bunch of speakers one after another. It doesn't always work out that way, but that's my preference when possible.
Improving your creative writing
The final part of your question that I want to answer (which is really the first part!) is about up-skilling and improving your skills and knowledge. The way I work is very much about re-appropriating other content that I like and that fits with the couples I work with. I don't do an awful lot of original creative writing. I'm an excellent writer when it comes to retelling information I've gleaned from somewhere else, whether that be a couple's love story, a eulogy, or all the legal information I write about for this website, and I'm an excellent writer when I'm sharing my own experiences. (I'm also exceptionally humble ;).)
However I don't feel that I'm a great "creative" writer; when I sit at my computer and try to write about love and marriage or about grief, I have absolutely no freaking idea what to say. I can look at a piece of prose and go oh yeah, that will fit this couple, but I'm terrible at coming up with the ideas or sentiments myself. That's okay with me; I'm happy with the way I work and my clients always tell me how much they love my scripts.
If you're interested in writing more creatively, in tapping into those sentiments and ideas and coming up with your own content, but you want to improve in this area, go out and find yourself some creative writing courses! It doesn't matter what they're specifically about; creative writing is creative writing, no matter the content, and taking some courses in that space will help you write creative ceremonies in your own words.
Who does it differently?
I'm super keen to hear from people who do this differently; who write their entire ceremony from scratch, or who have set templates that their couples choose from. Let us know in the comments how you do it, and how you build up your bank of ceremony material.
Books in my collection
As mentioned above, I bought most of these books when I first started as a celebrant and I don't use a lot of the wording in them today. But every now and then I'll dip into one if I'm really searching for something I just can't find anywhere else!
The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings, Tess Ayers and Paul Brown
Wedding Vows: Finding the Perfect Words, Michael MacFarlane
The Heart and Soul of Celebrancy, Sally Cant
Ceremonies & Celebrations: Vows, Tributes and Readings, Dally R Messenger
The Funeral Celebrant's Handbook, Barry H Young
Saying Farewell to Those We Love, Barry H Young
The Practical Handbook for Celebrants to Welcome, Celebrate and Farewell, Ruth Van Gramberg
Funeral Resources Guide, Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants
Wedding Resources Guide, Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants
Celebrating Love's Special Moments, Vlady M Peters
Create Your Own Inspiring Wedding Ceremony, Wendy Haynes
A Practical Guide to Celebrancy, Association of Civil Marriage Celebrants of Victoria
### Pricing on websites; to list or not to list??? Sarah's view
Ella asks:
Price points seem to be a hot topic everywhere... Would you recommend putting your fees on your website?
Some celebrants display their price on their website, others don't. Some also seem to provide services cheaper then a BDM wedding. Which poses that question that some people expect you to compete on price, they aren't comparing the quality of service provided. Only the number they see on the page...
You will literally get a different answer on this from every celebrant or marketing guru you speak to. So for this question, both Josh and I are going to offer our views! This article is just Sarah's thoughts. Here is Josh's article.
To me there are two issues here; whether or not to post your prices on your website, and what to do about competing on price rather than quality of service. I'll take them one at a time.
I have my prices on my website and have done since day one of running my business. When I started my business I wondered about it, but I asked my generally very wise sister who said she HATES websites that don't have prices on them, and she never bothers to contact them to ask their prices. She just discounts them straight away. She wants to know whether or not they're even in her ballpark before falling in love with the product or service. So I put them on there.
One of the very first bookings I took, the couple told me one of the top reasons they'd contacted me was because I was open and transparent with my prices; they knew I was within their budget and they thought I looked pretty awesome as well, so they got in touch and booked me soon after.
I've gone back and forth about whether to keep my prices on my website through the whole almost five years I've been a celebrant. I went to many marketing training sessions in my first few years where people said don't put your prices up; you need to show people your value and make them fall in love with you so they'll pay whatever you're charging. Don't let people judge you on price alone. I heard many celebrants say the same thing.
In November 2016 I conducted a little experiment and took the prices off my website for three months. What happened? I didn't end up with any more bookings than I'd had in the previous months or years. What I did end up with is wasting my time on a whole bunch of pitch meetings with couples who, once I got to the price, couldn't afford me. Maybe I'm just not very good at selling my worth or my value so that couples will pay anything at all to have me, but that was my experience. Ain't nobody got time for that. I put my prices straight back up and haven't turned back.
I don't have to deal with enquiries from people who can't afford me, and I don't have to spend my precious time meeting with couples who can't afford me. For me it's a time efficiency and process streamlining measure. My life is much better when I only spend time on couples who are pre-qualified and know they can afford what I provide :)
Now to the other part of your question, about celebrants charging less than the Registry Office and having to compete on price alone. I'll be completely upfront here; I have three ceremony packages available, and one of them costs less than the Registry Office charges. That's because that package provides less than the Registry Office provides. At the Registry Office you can take guests (up to 40 depending on which room you book in Melbourne), there's an aisle and music, you can wear a fancy outfit, and you get a ceremony with somewhat lovely words and readings if you want them. With my Legals Only Ceremony, you don't get any of that; all you get is the 121 legally required words and the document signing. Of course people can bring guests if they want, and they can even wear a fancy outfit if they want, but I make it very clear that the whole process takes about three minutes and it's not very interesting to watch. I feel very comfortable charging less than the Registry Office for providing less of a service than they do.
As for competing on price rather than quality, as I've increased my price over the years I've quickly figured out that the couples who are comparing on price are not my clients. They're simply not the people I want to work with, and that's okay. The couples I want to work with for my premium offering value their ceremony, they understand the importance of the ceremony to set the tone for the entire day, they see the value in paying an experienced celebrant for their experience. Those are the people it brings me joy to work with, and those are the people who are willing to look past price and find out more about my quality and the value I can bring to their wedding.
In fact literally this morning I received the most beautiful email from the couple I married on Saturday. When they first came to me they told me they wanted my Short & Sweet Ceremony, which is my mid-level offering, just a 7-10 minute standardised ceremony. A male same-sex couple, they'd been together for 18 years and "suffered" through multiple weddings where they'd been bored and thought the ceremony was cringeworthy and awkward, and they just wanted to get it over and done with. When I sat down with them I talked through what I could offer them through my Premium Ceremony, they got to know me a bit better, and they started to trust me when I told them I could do things differently and it wouldn't have to be awful. They booked my Premium Ceremony, but they were still sceptical. Even at the rehearsal last week they were still rolling their eyes about how awkward and hideous the whole thing was going to be.
On Saturday they both cried their way through the entire ceremony, and the email I received this morning included these incredible words:
I can hardly put into words what it means to us to have had your amazing support and friendship and guidance throughout this whole process and the end result was (in my opinion!) absolutely magical!
We have heard SUCH amazing things from our guests about you and the ceremony, and you are without exception the BEST celebrant that people have seen at a wedding. Everything from your style, presentation, personality, the fact that you clearly knew us and that it was the most genuine ceremony that people had attended. I'm sure you hear it all the time, but I just wanted to let you know how amazing it was.
These gorgeous boys took the time to listen to what I had to say, to get to know me, to engage with my process so that I could create an incredible ceremony for them, and I'm hoping that their attitude towards wedding ceremonies is forever changed! These are the people it brings me joy to work with; those who are prepared to look past the dollars and trust in the people they've hired to create their amazing day.
So that's my two (or maybe 22) cents' worth. I hope it's helpful!
### Running side hustles alongside your celebrant business
We've had a couple of anonymous questions on this in the last week, so I'm going to pop them both in here:
I'm looking at expanding my services other than just celebrant. At the moment I have a little side gig where it is wedding packages with hair, make up and myself this is run on a separate facebook page. But I'm wanting to possibly offer ceremony styling as well. Just wanted to check it I could advertise this on my celebrant website under a tab "Ceremony Styling" and offer DIY or we setup and dismantle the ceremony. Think simple to start with chairs, flowers and arch. Just before I go making any purchases just wanted some feedback and advice. Thanks!
And:
I am currently working for a theatre company and intend to keep working for them, but I want to be able to do weddings occasionally and for friends. However because I’m trained in fashion and costume I thought I’d be able to offer wedding dresses but from what I can understand I can’t? I understand how that can be a conflict of interest now but I was wondering where you draw the line within packages and extras. If I can’t even offer custom veils as an inclusion of a package then I feel like all my other hard earned creative making abilities are of no use?
This has all changed! We can now do (almost) anything we like!
It's true that the old Conflict of Interest/Benefit to Business Guidelines did not allow authorised celebrants to provide other products or services to their celebrant clients. So you could be a hairdresser for Jane, but not her celebrant; or you could be the celebrant for Jill but not her hairdresser. We also weren't allowed to cross-promote our businesses if we had multiple wedding-related offerings. So you couldn't put an ad for your hairdressing services on your celebrant website and vice versa.
The issue was that if you were both the celebrant and another supplier for the same couple, and as the celebrant you saw a legal impediment with the marriage, would you be prepared to say hey, I'm not going to marry you due to this legal impediment, if you were then likely to lose the income from the other product or service as well.
In December 2016-January 2017, the Marriage Law and Celebrant Section of the Attorney General's Department undertook a review of the conflict of interest guidelines through a survey of all celebrants. In October 2017 updated Conflict of Interest/Benefit to Business Guidelines and a position paper on the updates were published.
In a nutshell, celebrants are now allowed to offer almost any additional product or service to their celebrancy clients, or indeed offer their celebrancy services to clients of another product or service they provide. As well as being the couple's celebrant, we (or our spouse or family member) can also provide and charge for any of the following (and it's not limited to this list):
accessories for the ceremony (sand, jars, ribbons, chairs, runners, arches, etc)
fees for same-day lodgement of paperwork
venue hire
MC or DJ services
wedding planning
photography (I'm not entirely sure how one person could be both the celebrant and the photographer, but I'm sure some enterprising person will figure it out)
hair and makeup
catering
flowers
dress hire, suit hire, dress design and creation
car hire
pre-marriage counselling.
We can also cross-promote any other service or product offerings we have to our celebrant clients.
What we CANNOT do is:
be the celebrant and the migration agent for the same couple; that's against the Migration Agents' code of conduct.
be the employee of a wedding venue without first satisfying the Registrar how you're going to manage any conflicts of interest.
only sell a couple your celebrancy services if they also purchase your other service or product, or vice versa; couple must always have a choice about all of their suppliers. You can offer packages, but couples must be able to say no thank you, we don't want that bit.
Now this is not saying that conflicts of interest won't arise. What it's saying is that the MLCS is now going to allow us to manage our own conflicts of interest; they're going to trust that we're sufficiently well versed in our roles as celebrants that we would not solemnise a marriage where there's a legal impediment just because of another service we were providing to the couple.
Both the celebrants who have asked questions this week are totally good to go in with the situations they've outlined!
My understanding is that you still have to declare to the MLCS any new business you're adding to your portfolio under the fit and proper person test. That's covered in the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018 at page 119.
### We don't think you're smart enough to get two emails in the one day
We recorded this episode on 6 July 2018, before Sarah had a chance to read the fact sheet from the AGD about the change in the one month's notice period, so we don't discuss that in the episode. Sarah will write more about that change soon; suffice to say she's fighting it because she believes it's a mis-interpretation of the Acts Interpretation Act.
In this episode we launch The Celebrant Institute: what it is, why we're doing it, and why we hope you'll support us!
As always, please check in at hello@celebrant.fm if you have any questions or anything you'd like us to talk about in future episodes!
00:01:08 Josh and Sarah catch up on each others news
00:04:00 Shout out to Annie Moz and the Unholy Matrimony launch
00:05:18 Why terminology is important, and why what we say matters
00:10:18 How does a new Celebrant get their first clients, and should they offer a discount to get those first bookings?
00:22:54 Is it worth listing on aggregate sites such as Easy Weddings, PolkaDot bride, Celebrante etc
00:25:40 Why you must track where your enquiries come from
00:28:40 If you have a question please email us
00:28:59 BDM online systems updates, what's new and what we need to know
00:46:2 Electronic signatures, the guidelines, and the electronic transactions act
00:49:36 New guidelines were published on Tuesday 3rd July 2018
00:52:46 The Celebrant Institute launch!
### In praise of the not-young celebrant
I'll never forget my very first wedding expo, where I arrived to the convention centre so green that I didn't realise there was an expectation that I would design a booth. So we painted a board with blackboard paint and brought it to the expo, along with the required chalk, and with minutes to go until the expo doors opened I had to think of something to write.
Some words that would draw the crowds in and pay my rent.
"Fine young celebrant" was my first draft that lasted day one of three at the expo. In hindsight, expecting everyone to heavily appreciate my play on words, was my first mistake. My second was that no-one wanted a "fine" celebrant.
Day two brought with it a wet cloth, a clean blackboard, and a second draft that became my tagline for the next few years: "Young fun celebrant!"
It's a marketing ploy that has worked well for many celebrants, I've no doubt that I was not even the first to spruik the moniker, but it's also a tagline that has done much damage in the celebrant industry. The first problem is how do we define "young"? I'm 36 as I'm writing this and when my dad was my age, he had a teenage son. I get a little bit aggravated when there are local parties that I can hear in my home, and I don't even listen to Triple J anymore. So I don't think I'm "young" any more.
The second problem is that differentiating ourselves by age subtly, quietly, implies that maybe being not-young isn't that great.
And the final problem, the one I'd like to focus on between here and the bottom of the page is this: what if being not-young wasn't the problem, but being "young" meant you might not be able to bring the same product to market?
Marriage is one of those rituals in life that most of us don't totally understand until we've passed through it. From the outside looking in we see our married friends make different decisions, spend their money differently, and budget their time differently.
I'm only six years into my marriage with Britt but I can confidently say it's the best thing that has ever happened to me and six year on I am a different person, making different decisions, spending my money and time differently, and I have no regrets.
There's a wisdom that hindsight brings, the kind of wisdom that can see train-wrecks coming, and even stop them.
There's a level of experience in "doing life", attending and running events like weddings, being human, being a friend, being a listener and a business person, that you simply can't fake - it comes with time. If you're a not-young celebrant then I'm willing to bet you've got this in spades!
Where some not-young celebrants possibly got lost was on two fronts, and it's not limited to celebrants, I've no doubt it's a cold the world could catch.
Firstly, as we age some lose the ability to fall in love again and again, to forgive as well as forget, to keep from growing sour, surly, bitter and cynical. Losing these essential elements to a joy filled, peaceful life, can certainly brand you as "old" far more than your birth certificate can. (Thank you to Henry Miller turning 80 for this inspiration)
Secondly, there needs to be a beautiful marriage of your wisdom and experience, with a relevance and respect for the culture and expectations of the people being married.
I am 38, a few years outside of my "core demographic" of 25-35 year olds, so I'm close enough to be relevant and respectful of a culture I'm a little bit out of, and I understand how this gap widens as we age, but it's also not a gap we can't close.
That's a big part of our goal with this website, to help close the gap between the generation being married, and those of us doing the marrying. Our hope is that we can help you on the tech, legal, business, marketing, advertising, and presentation front so you can be the best you, the best celebrant, that you can be – regardless of being "young" or not.
### Ceremonies in public spaces and copyright
Jac asks:
The guidelines state that weddings are usually considered 'private in nature' and so playing music, reading poems etc is fine. The examples the guidelines list are all indoors. What if the ceremony is in a public space?
Do you have to get insurance for this through an association or does it fall under Public Liability, Personal Accident, Professional Indemnity etc if you went for insurance privately.
Would appreciate pros/cons etc of the going with an association if protection is required.
I'm going to look at all three questions here; whether or not we need copyright or other licences or insurances for weddings, and what kinds of insurance may be useful, and whether you should get your insurance through an association or privately!
Playing music at ceremonies
Let's look at playing music first. I've gone straight to the source rather than just reviewing the information in the Guidelines on the Marriage Act for this answer, and I'm afraid it's not much more useful than the Guidelines! The Australian Copyright Council, in their information sheet Music - Playing Music: APRA & PPCA, says exactly what the Guidelines say:
Performances of music at events such as weddings or twenty-first birthday celebrations will not generally be "in public" even if they occur in a hotel, wedding hall or restaurant, as these events are considered private in nature.
My understanding has always been that regardless of where they are held, weddings are considered private events and therefore don't require us to have an APRA licence to play music. I wrote to the Australian Copyright Council for further clarity, and to be honest, I didn't get a lot. Here's what they told me:
As set out in our information sheet, performances of music at events such as weddings will generally not be considered to be "in public" even if they occur in a hotel or restaurant. However, where a wedding takes place in the open air (i.e., in a venue that cannot be clearly and obviously closed off as a private event), there is a risk that music played at the wedding could be considered to be a performance "in public" (and thus, requiring a licence), because of the likelihood that members of the public, who are not invited to the wedding, could listen in.
Beyond noting that a risk exists, we cannot clearly say that all outdoor weddings are clearly performances to the public, or all outdoor weddings are clearly not. In this regard, we would observe that this is a risk management issue to be taken on a case by case basis, for which you would consider matters such as:
the volume at which the music is played (eg., is it at such a level that the average passer-by walking on the nearby paths/roads could overhear the music?)
the range/boundaries of the outdoor space where the wedding is taking place; or
the level of control you/the wedding organiser has over people moving in and out of the event space.
Generally, the more control you/the wedding organisers have to prevent members of the public from attending the wedding or listening to music performed at an outdoor wedding, the more likely any performance of music at the wedding would be considered private. The more likely members of the public can 'drop in' to the wedding or overhear music played at the event, the more likely any performance of music will be considered a public performance for which a licence will be needed.
We're not suggesting you do or don't make any changes to your current practices (especially taking into consideration the fact that most PA systems don't have enough power to reach much further than the event guests), but that's the (rather ambiguous) advice from the people in charge :)
Readings and poems at ceremonies
Now about the use of written material in a ceremony (poems, readings, etc). Reading or reciting a reasonable portion of a published work (reasonable is usually regarded as less than 10%) is exempt from copyright and no permission is needed, as long as you acknowledge the copyright owner. "X will now share a reading with us. It's called XYZ and it was written by ABC."
This exception from copyright is listed in the Australian Copyright Council's information sheet Exceptions to Copyright, as per s45 of the Copyright Act:
The reading or recitation in public ... of an extract of reasonable length from a published literary or dramatic work ... does not constitute an infringement of the copyright in the work if a sufficient acknowledgement of the work is made.
Reproducing written copies of readings and poems
However if you want to publish readings on your website, or in a draft ceremony that you send to a client, or in an order of service, or anywhere else, you may need to ask permission from the owner of the copyright. Much easier than asking permission from the owner of every single item of written material you want to use in your ceremonies is simply to own a CAL (Copyright Agency Limited) Copyright Licence. CAL is a not-for-profit agency that distributes takings to copyright owners so they get paid for the use of their work. You'll find the best information on this licence on the Coalition of Celebrant Associations page. Basically this licence allows you to:
Print copyrighted material in a copy of the ceremony to give to the couple or anyone else
Print copyrighted material as a handout for a reader to use
Type copyrighted material for storage in your own computer
Email copyrighted material to a couple or anyone else
Share copyrighted material in a celebrant Facebook group (considered public space)
Share copyrighted material in a celebrant web-based forum, unless all members of the forum group are CAL Licence holders.
If you did any of these things without holding a CAL Licence, you could be breaking copyright and could potentially be sued by the owner of the copyright.
Most celebrant associations provide access to the celebrant group CAL licence as part of their membership benefits, or will sell you one for an additional fee. If you're not a member of a celebrant association, I strongly recommend you purchase access to the licence through the Civil Celebrant Network; you don't need to be a member to purchase this licence, it's far cheaper and covers you further than a Sole Trader Copyright Licence, and it's just great for peace of mind.
Copyright insurance
The CAL Licence is different from copyright insurance. The CAL Licence allows you to use material without asking every copyright owner for permission. Copyright insurance protects you and your business if you infringe copyright and get sued by a copyright owner. There's a super handy comparison chart between insurance and a CAL licence here on the CCN website. In a nutshell, you wouldn't need copyright insurance if you invested the $55 a year in a CAL licence!
### How to protect the copyright of your ceremony scripts
Tenielle asks
Just a quick question about intellectual property of ceremony drafts. Hasn't happened to me, but have heard of stories of celebrants issuing a draft ceremony for the clients to look over, and then that ceremony being taken by the couple to a cheaper celebrant. Don't know how true it is, but it did get me thinking about my own Ts and Cs and about how I could best protect myself at the end of the day. Look, I know how easy it is to forward on a PDF or a Word Document and there's stuff all we can do about it at the end of the day, but it's just another aspect of this job that's been on my mind a bit lately.
So there are three angles I'm going to answer this question from:
copyright law, knowing it and protecting yourself
sending scripts
why is your script stolen
And I'll start with the most important one (in my humble opinion):
Why is your script being stolen
I've heard this anecdote at OPD and also at a celebrants' catchup as well, and to be completely honest, for the celebrants I heard tell the story, their script was probably the most valuable thing they offered. Which is where I'd like to pivot everyone's attention from.
If the greatest asset you bring to the whole experience you are invoicing for is an easily stolen thing like a script, then prepare for it to be stolen. Lock it down, password protect the PDF you send, plaster it with watermarks and copyright notices so everyone knows it is stolen, and make sure the filename has your name in it.
But, I can tell you with my whole heart that a script is the least valuable thing I offer my clients. In fact I don't even offer one or read from one (that's another blog post some day soon).
When I'm selling my experience - and providing it - I am confident that the greatest assets I bring to a wedding are my public speaking ability, knowledge of the couple and their story, confidence, personality, sound equipment, experience, vibe, and atmosphere. Before the wedding I pride myself on getting to know the couple so well, and I take copious notes on them and their stories, so on the day I am so in tune with who they are and how they party.
I've got a problem with the anecdote: are the stolen scripts plain old "insert name here" scripts being emailed across before the couple has even booked? If so, those scripts have no value and maybe you should give them away on your website as free content.
If the script being stolen is a personalised and custom written one, is it that generic that it could be stolen and reworked for other couples? And how did the couple get it without paying you? Or have they paid and then hired a cheaper celebrant?
I think there are some holes in the old wives' tale but I'm glad we're talking about it.
Sending scripts
If you hand me the script to 2016 movie, Deadpool, and asked me to "do my best" while you grabbed a bowl of popcorn and dimmed the lights, it would be a heavily saddening experience for all involved. But if you hand the exact same script to Ryan Reynolds you'll have a much better night.
It is much this way with handing a ceremony script to our couples, once again, in my humble opinion.
There is so much more to your ceremonies than the words on the page. There's the delivery, the energy, the staging, and the execution.
I know I'm very much a loner on this idea, in fact my own co-host and co-editor of this website, Ms Aird, doesn't agree with me. But I think handing a script to a couple and meekly asking "is this ok?" isn't the best way to achieve what you're trying to achieve – and it's possibly detracting from your couples' experience with you.
I listen to my couples requests and ideas, and on the day they experience them fresh. I'll ask for their stories, and then run them back past them to make sure I'm telling them right. And if there are heavily scripted parts, I'll check sections past them. A good example of this might be if there is a specific story to be told, or perhaps, if there's a eulogy at a funeral.
But when I visit my mechanic I don't ask for a play by play of what he did to the car, I trust he did the best job. And when I fly a Qantas jet, I'm not asking for the flight data, I'm trusting that the pilots have got this journey sorted – so I would argue that when you position yourself as a really good celebrant, an expert in ceremony, your couples aren't hoping you send them a script to read and check, they're expecting a kick ass ceremony out of you, and it's your job to deliver.
If my couples ask for a script, I tell them I don't provide one. In-fact I tell them at the sales meeting that I'm that good I don't need one and won't ask them to check one. I'll meet with them so much, and run through how the ceremony will go, but I'm not sending them an email asking for permission to speak these certain words at their wedding because they gave me permission when they paid my invoice.
Copyright law
Any creative business person in Australia should know their intellectual property rights, and if you don't, you should buy "Owning It" by Sharon Givoni, an amazing Melbourne intellectual property lawyer.
But here's the short version:
Copyright is the protection of work, which is not to be confused with trademarks (the protection of brands) and patents (the protection of inventions).
So copyright is the protection of original works, like photographs, paintings, music and sound recordings, video recordings, recipes, books and written material, and computer software. Today we're talking about written material.
If you have, with your own heart and soul, written words into a word document, or onto a sheet of paper, thus making them "material form" then that is your intellectual property and luckily for you, without a copyright mark, without attaching your name to it, or registering it with any government, that work is automatically covered and protected by Australian copyright laws, (and thanks to the Berne Convention, 175 other countries). So the second you put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, you already own copyright of that work, and you maintain ownership for your entire life plus 70 years, so your estate can even claim an infringement of copyright after your death.
If I steal your script. you can very validly contact the authorities and report a theft.
The © copyright symbol doesn't protect you more or less, and if the thief isn't familiar or respectful of copyright law, then that little logo probably won't stop them. It's like photographers with watermarked logos on their photos: the people who were going to steal will still steal, and the rest of us have to put up with the ugly logo on the photo.
So like any crime, it needs to be reported, not told as an anecdote or old wives' tale at OPD or in celebrant catchups as we try to justify why a couple chose another celebrant.
### Get testimonies that matter
Celebrants offer such a personal service, your service is very different to mine, to every other member of this website, and the thousands of other celebrants available. We can communicate our differences in text and photos on our website, through blog and social content, and by meeting people but meeting every single enquirer can become tiresome.
So, let me introduce you to a secret warrior in my sales toolkit: testimonies.
Couples I have already married, via a testimony, are the most experienced people to tell new couples how I am different from other celebrants, whilst also confirming that I am indeed the person talked about on the website and social media.
Testimonies are social proof that you're not a dud, not a scam artist, but you are indeed a person who does the thing you say you do. Because here's the tip no-one else is telling you: in a world where anyone can start a website or social media account, we're looking for indicators that you're authentically, honestly, who you say you are.
How to ask for testimonies
I ask all of my couples the following question:
If you both found my online reviews helpful when choosing me, could I ask for your help in leaving some reviews as well? If so, reply to this email and I'll send you the links.
"If you both found my reviews helpful" hints at the fact that there's an ecosystem at play here, that part of the reason they hired me is going to feed into the reason other people book me.
"Could I ask for your help" is an honest and vulnerable request for help. They don't owe me a review, but if they left one for me it would be great.
"Reply to this email" is giving me permission to follow up if they haven't left a review. I could simply leave the links here but that makes the email longer and messier and I also don't have permission to bug them on it.
What kind of testimonies do I want?
I want my testimonies to go where people will see them whilst also asking them to do as little work as possible. I can't expect my couples to do thirty different things after the wedding. I also want the reviews to go where they'll have the most impact, so the following statements might have to be updated in line with future trends.
Facebook reviews: Facebook's review system is very transparent. I can't leave a fake review, and everyone has access to not only read the reviews, but also to comment, and even click through to the reviewers' profile and direct message them. To find your direct link for Facebook reviews it is facebook.com/your username/reviews like https://www.facebook.com/marriedbyjosh/reviews/
Google reviews: Google is the king of search and reviews make an impact on your presence on the search engine. I ask for my couples to leave a Google review so I maintain a position on Google itself, not that anyone might read it.
Website reviews: I can copy/paste these reviews from Facebook, or Google, or email, but having people talk about you on your own website is almost better than you talking about yourself. And you don't own your Facebook or Google account, but you do own your website so always be investing into it.
Video reviews: 2018 is the year of video, and although at time of publish I haven't done this, I want to start asking my couples to film a review on their phone and send it to me for me to share. I think there is a real human, vulnerable, and authentic angle to a video review that even trumps the Facebook review. This could be powerful.
With all that said, I still find it hard to receive reviews off some of my couples after a wedding. People are busy, and giving me a review is low on the priority list, especially considering they have already paid me cash, so don't feel down if they don't email after the ceremony, it happens to all of us.
How do you get reviews off your couples? Leave your ideas or methods in the comments.
### Tax deduction ideas for celebrants
It's every business owner's favourite time of the year: EOFYmas! As the End Of Financial Year celebrations takeover our lives I wanted to highlight the deductions I think we celebrants should be thinking of, and if you don't have the record of these deductions from the past financial year, maybe try and keep them for this financial year.
I hope this goes without saying, but I'm not your accountant, I'm not the Australian Tax Office, and I'm not your mum, so make sure you run these things past those guys before taking my accounting advice as gospel. If you need an accountant, I can recommend mine but I'm sure there's 100 within cat-swinging distance of your place.
Business assets that cost under $20,000 (I bought a $19,900 car on June 29!)
Generally speaking, clothes cannot be claimed
Approved charitable donations - Britt and I donate to Destiny Rescue, Compassion, and a few other child and female empowerment related charities that work in third world regions.
GST, in that, if you are GST-registered, and you charged $1100 for something, your income is only $1000, because (hopefully) you've already paid the $100 to the ATO in your Business Activity Statement.
Advertising in magazines, directories, Facebook, Instagram, Google, and wedding fairs or expos - it's all a direct business expense. I would include in here Mailchimp costs, costs of building an expo stand, printing things for expos, getting professional help constructing social media campaigns, and graphic design expenses
Telephone and internet costs - your accountant will be able to help decided what portion is deductible
Still and video camera purchases used to record your ceremonies or help create social media content
Income protection insurance
Membership and association fees, this includes memberships like the AFCC, AMC, or other celebrant associations
Public liability insurance and other business related insurances like indemnity or even insurance to protect your PA system and equipment being stolen
Motor vehicle expenses! The best way to claim car expenses is to do a 12 week logbook (maybe leave it until your busiest booking season) and get a percentage of business use (perhaps you just happened to catch the bus heaps during that period) and your car maintenance, fuel, insurance and other car-related expenses are reducing your taxable income
Office rental costs, either at a commercial property, or if you meet at home, figure out some percentages and get your accountant working
And if you do renovations to your home office, they're deductible as well
Computer, tablet, smartphone purchases and software purchases, including those app store purchases or songs purchased for ceremonies
Magazines and publications for your waiting room (are people waiting in your lounge room?)
The cost of attending conferences, seminars, OPD, workshops etc
Your annual celebrant charge from the AGD (have you received your invoice yet? If not maybe get in touch with the AGD or check your spam inbox)
Small gifts to the marrying couple.
Printing, stationery, photocopying, secretarial services.
Hiring a PA system or audio gear, and I'm go to go out on a limb and say that even though it's not listed, purchasing a PA system would be an instant deductible as well (if it's under $20,000 ... and if you're spending more than $20,000 maybe we should talk)
Typewriters ... maybe I should start a vintage typewriter collection?
Unfortunately your gardener is not tax deductible
Keeping a library ... which I'm reading as buying books related to celebrancy, a Kindle, books on business, and my understanding of the law would say that your membership to this very website would easily slide in under attending seminars, buying journals, or keeping a library.
Paying for coffees and drinks at meetings, this can even extend to meals
Accountant and lawyer fees
Travel expenses including meals
Travelling from your home to work if your home is your place of work - but I'd make sure I've got a logbook over a 12 week period for this, and remember, it's valid for five years
Flights, hire cars, and accomodation - if required for you to be at a wedding
The cost of doing last year's tax return
This is a wide net, but it is a legal one: expenses directly related to earning your income. People try and slide clothes into this one but it doesn't work, but if the expense is "directly related to earning your income" I would very encouragingly take it to your accountant.
I know that some of our readers might not totally understand why this matters, so here's the simple math: just say this year that you charged couples $75,000 (including GST) to be their celebrant. First of all, before anything, the ATO gets $6818, which makes your revenue is $68,182. To make that $68,182 it might have cost you $20,000. That's $20,000 of all the things listed above.
If you didn't make any deductions, or if you didn't know that the things listed above were possible deductions, you're paying $13,706 tax on the $68,182. Leaving you with just over $34,000 actual cash in your hand after your $20,000 of expenses.
But if you take into account your business expenses and deductions, your taxable income drops to $48,182 and the tax you owe to the ATO is $7,206, which then leaves $40,976 cash in your hand. So recording expenses, keeping receipts etc is worth $6,000 to you. I'd much rather $6,000 in my bank account than the ATO's.
On a different scale, maybe your income for the 2017-2018 financial year was $20,000, and after going through that list you found $2000 of deductions. Congratulations, you just brought yourself back below the $18,200 tax-free threshold and you're not paying tax this year.
Side note on the GST: If you're providing the service overseas, and you're GST registered, there's no GST required to be collected on that service.
Here's the final word from the ATO's mouth on all these deductions: "The person must have a record to substantiate how the claim was calculated". In some cases credit card and bank statements are enough.
Did I miss anything? Note it in the comments.
### Period of residency on the NOIM
NOIM question. I know it says in the Guidelines if a person is in the country for a matter of days you leave the period of residency blank. Is that right? The only time I leave it blank is when they are born here, and I wouldn't want there to be any confusion with an overseas-born person if I left it blank and BDM thought I'd made a mistake and forgot to fill it in.
You're absolutely right, the Guidelines recommend leaving the period of residency fields blank on the NOIM.
s4.8, p40, Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018:
The NOIM makes provision for giving both ‘years’ and ‘months’ of residence. Months as well as years need only be given where the party has been resident in Australia for less than two years. Where the party has been resident in Australia for two years or more, the number of completed years only need be given. For example, a period of five years, nine months residence need be stated only as five years. If a party has only been in Australia for a period of days it is unnecessary to record this information. Celebrants should be aware that there is no minimum residency requirement prior to a marriage being solemnised in Australia. The information about the parties’ period of residence is collected for statistical purposes only and is collected by the Australian Bureau of Statistics.
To avoid any confusion and to ensure BDM doesn't just think you've left it blank by accident, just pop a 0 in each of the years and months boxes. All good!
### The only thing you can rely on in the wedding business
This afternoon a couple got engaged and they have never heard of you, they've not made any decisions about their wedding, and it's highly likely they don't know anything about the wedding industry, how it works, what things cost, and who does what.
The only thing you can rely on in the wedding industry is that today a couple got engaged and all of your previous branding, marketing, advertising, and godowill in the market means nothing.
That's the greatest opportunity in the wedding business and also it's greatest issue. That every day we need to market ourselves and advertise afresh.
How to respond to this?
Marketing yourself in the wedding industry is a marathon, not a race. Every day you need to invest in your marketing and branding efforts. You can't do it all in January, or July. It's an every day, just a little bit of work.
And if you messed up yesterday, or skipped a beat last week, then it's ok, today is a new day, keep on trying.
### How does a party prove they're divorced?
When someone gets divorced they are sent a divorce certificate (also called a divorce order). That certificate may take a different format depending on when it was issued, but since February 2010 divorce orders have been issued electronically.
Sometimes (often) by the time they come to remarry, a party has misplaced or lost their divorce order, but of course you can't marry them without seeing it.
So how do they get a new one?
If they were divorced in Australia, it's super simple. They go to this page on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website and follow the instructions. There are different sets of instructions based on where and when they got divorced, but in a nutshell:
if they were divorced anywhere other than Western Australia before 13 February 2010, they complete an online application form and pay $30, and a printed copy of the proof of divorce will be posted to them.
if they were divorced anywhere other than Western Australia after 13 February 2010, they create an account and download their electronic certificate directly from the Commonwealth Courts Portal at no charge.
if they were divorced in Western Australia at any time they need to contact the Family Court of Western Australia to obtain proof of their divorce.
Easy peasy! There are literally no excuses for a person divorced in Australia not to show you their divorce order.
If a party was divorced outside Australia, they need to contact the relevant court or authority in the country where the divorce was granted, to obtain proof of their divorce.
Legal stuff
The requirement for an authorised celebrant to see proof of the termination of a previous marriage is outlined at section 42(10) of the Marriage Act 1961, and further discussed on pages 48 to 50 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018. Page 49 of the Guidelines contains a very handy table outlining the evidence of divorce according to when it was granted.
### Can the Marriage Registry transfer a NOIM to a celebrant?
Sometimes couples think they want to get married at the Registry Office. They go along to the Registry and lodge their Notice of Intended Marriage, and then sometimes it's a few months before they can get an appointment for a marriage ceremony. In the meantime they find an awesome celebrant who convinces them they can do a much nicer ceremony at a much nicer place, and they decide to get married with the celebrant instead.
Given the couple has already completed a lodged a Notice of Intended Marriage with the Registry Office, they may not want or have time to lodge a new Notice with their new celebrant. In these cases the Registry Office can certainly transfer the NOIM to the authorised celebrant after a request from the couple.
In Victoria the process goes like this (and I imagine it wouldn't be too different in other states):
the couple contacts the Registry Office to say hey, can you please transfer our NOIM to this lovely authorised celebrant?
the Registry Office says sure, if you can get the celebrant to send us an email saying they're prepared to conduct your wedding and requesting the transfer
the celebrant emails the Registry Office noting they are available to solemnise the marriage and asking for the NOIM to be posted to them at the following address (you can download my email template by scrolling to the bottom of this post). I always ask for a scanned copy to be sent to my email as well so that I can start preparing the DONLIM and OCM before the posted copy arrives.
the Registry Office posts the NOIM to the celebrant (and emails a scanned copy if requested).
That's it!
As far as I'm aware, all Registry Offices in the country charge a fee to receive a NOIM and book a marriage date, and the couple is unlikely to see any of that money back. It's important to let them know that.
Legal stuff
The ability from one authorised celebrant to transfer a Notice of Intended Marriage to another authorised celebrant is outlined in section 42(6) of the Marriage Act 1961, and further discussed on page 61 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act 1961 for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
[purchase_link id="226" style="button" color="blue" text="Purchase a template letter for this request"]
### Shortening of time: the celebrant's role
It is a legal requirement that couples who want to get married in Australia give at least one month's, and no more than 18 months', notice through lodging a Notice of Intended Marriage with an Authorised Celebrant. However in some exceptional circumstances it is possible to have that notice period shortened by applying to a prescribed authority for a Shortening of Time. In capital cities prescribed authorities can generally be found at the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages; for regional and rural areas the list of prescribed authorities should be consulted.
Making such an application is the couple's responsibility, but there are some things the celebrant needs to do to support the application.
First you need to understand the reasons a couple may apply for a shortening of time. The following categories cover the ONLY circumstances in which a shortening of time may be granted:
employment related or other travel commitments
wedding or celebration arrangements, or religious considerations
medical reasons
legal proceedings, or
an error in giving notice.
Further information about the applicable circumstances that may fall under each category and the types of evidence a prescribed authority will want to see can be found in Schedule 3 of the Marriage Regulations 2017, and I have included them at the bottom of this post.
The celebrant should explain to the couple that:
the reason for seeking a shortening MUST fall within one of the categories described above
a prescribed authority has NO DISCRETION to grant a shortening outside the circumstances covered by these categories
a shortening of time is not automatically granted
a prescribed authority may charge an application fee.
The celebrant should advise the couple to:
complete an application form for a shortening of time (if required by the prescribed authority; e.g. in Victoria an application form is required but not in Queensland)
make an appointment with the prescribed authority
gather any and all documentary evidence relating to their circumstances.
The celebrant should provide the couple with:
a letter of support, noting that they believe the couple's circumstances may fall under one of the appropriate categories, and that they will be available to marry the couple at the date and venue selected if the shortening of time is approved (you can download my template by scrolling to the bottom of this post)
the original, completed Notice of Intended Marriage (this is the ONLY circumstance in which the celebrant should release the original NOIM to the parties).
Every state has its own way of dealing with shortening of time applications, and different timelines for considering applications. In Victoria, they generally consider medical reasons applications on the spot, and all other applications take 48 hours.
If the shortening is granted, the original Notice of Intended Marriage will be stamped by the prescribed authority and the date of the proposed wedding noted in the stamp. The NOIM will either be returned to the couple to return to the celebrant, or posted directly to the celebrant.
Shortenings are definitely not scary and I've had plenty of couples who have received permission to shorten the notice period. Just make sure you follow the process and don't give advice outside your remit (i.e. don't tell a couple their shortening will definitley be granted; it can depend on the person they get on the counter at BDM on the day they apply), and all will be grand!
Legal stuff
The requirement for couples to give at least one month's notice to marry is outlined in section 42(1)(a) of the Marriage Act 1961 and further discussed starting at page 33 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act for Marriage Celebrants 2014.
The ability to shorten the notice period is provided in section 42(5) of the Marriage Act 1961. The circumstances under which the notice period can be shortened are outlined in Schedule 3 of the Marriage Regulations 2017. The process for a Shortening of Time is discussed on pages 23-25 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act for Marriage Celebrants 2018.
Marriage Regulations 2017, Schedule 3 - Circumstances for authorising marriage despite late notice
1 Employment‑related or other travel commitments
1) A circumstance is that the marriage should be solemnized despite the required notice not having been received in time because a party to the intended marriage or someone involved with the proposed wedding:
has employment commitments that necessitate the person’s absence from the location of the proposed wedding for a considerable period of time; or
has other travel commitments.
Examples
A party to the intended marriage has accepted an offer of employment for imminent transfer or posting overseas or to a part of Australia distant from the location of the proposed wedding for at least 3 months, and wishes to be married with the party’s family and friends present before the departure.
A party to the intended marriage realises that a close relative or friend of the party is in Australia but the relative or friend has a non‑redeemable ticket for departure from Australia within less than a month, and the party wishes the relative or friend to be present at the wedding.
2) In determining whether the circumstance in subclause (1) is met, the prescribed authority may take into account the following:
documents relating to the employment commitments such as a letter of offer and a letter of acceptance;
documents relating to the travel such as a dated receipt or a ticket;
any explanation provided for not giving the notice sooner;
any explanation provided for not postponing the proposed wedding;
whether hardship would be caused to a party to the intended marriage if the marriage is not solemnized as proposed;
any other matter that the prescribed authority considers relevant.
2 Wedding or celebration arrangements
1) A circumstance is that the marriage should be solemnized despite the required notice not having been received in time because of the binding nature of the wedding arrangements or celebration arrangements made in connection with the intended marriage, or because of any religious consideration.
Example
Arrangements and non-refundable payments of a considerable sum have been made for the proposed wedding, or for any celebration associated with the intended marriage, and the date for the wedding or celebration cannot be changed.
2) In determining whether the circumstance in subclause (1) is met, the prescribed authority may take into account the following:
documents showing the extent of preparations for the proposed wedding, such as receipts showing dates and amounts of payments connected with the wedding;
in the case of a religious consideration--the nature of the consideration;
any explanation provided for not giving the notice sooner;
any explanation provided for not postponing the proposed wedding;
whether hardship would be caused to a party to the intended marriage if the marriage is not solemnized as proposed;
any other matter that the prescribed authority considers relevant.
3 Medical reasons
1) A circumstance is that the marriage should be solemnized despite the required notice not having been received in time because a party to the intended marriage, or someone involved with the proposed wedding, is suffering from a medical condition of a serious nature.
Example
A party to the intended marriage, or a parent or close relative of the party, has a serious illness that will prevent the person from attending the wedding unless it is held in less than a month.
2) In determining whether the circumstance in subclause (1) is met, the prescribed authority may take into account the following:
a letter from a medical practitioner or other health professional confirming the relevant health circumstances;
any explanation provided for not giving the notice sooner;
any other matter that the prescribed authority considers relevant.
4 Legal proceedings
1) A circumstance is that the marriage should be solemnized despite the required notice not having been received in time because a party to the intended marriage is involved in a legal proceeding.
Example
A party to the intended marriage is subject to a pending court proceeding, and is at risk of imprisonment.
2) In determining whether the circumstance in subclause (1) is met, the prescribed authority may take into account the following:
a sealed copy of any applicable court order;
a letter from the party's solicitor stating the dates and nature of a pending court proceeding;
any explanation provided for not giving the notice sooner;
any explanation provided for not postponing the proposed wedding;
whether hardship would be caused to a party to the intended marriage if the marriage is not solemnized as proposed;
any other matter that the prescribed authority considers relevant.
5 Error in giving notice
1) A circumstance is that the marriage should be solemnized despite the required notice not having been received in time because:
it was due only to error on the part of an authorized celebrant (or a person whom the parties to the intended marriage believed to be an authorized celebrant) that the required notice was not given or that the notice given was invalid, stale or lost; and
arrangements have been made for the proposed wedding to take place within the one month period.
Examples:
The parties have given significant notice to the authorized celebrant orally, and arrangements for the proposed wedding have been made, but written notice was not given in the required time because the authorized celebrant failed to explain the notice requirements properly.
The parties have given written notice in the required time, and arrangements for the proposed wedding have been made, but the notice is invalid because the person to whom the notice was given was not yet registered as a marriage celebrant.
The parties have given written notice in the required time, and arrangements for celebrations have been made to follow the marriage ceremony, but the notice was lost by the authorized celebrant.
2) In determining whether the circumstance in subclause (1) is met, the prescribed authority may take into account the following:
documents confirming why the notice was not given, such as a letter confirming an earlier interview with the parties to the intended marriage;
a letter from the person to whom the notice was given explaining why the notice was invalid, stale or lost;
documents showing the arrangements made in connection with the proposed wedding;
any other matter that the prescribed authority considers relevant.
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### Maybe I'm incompetent?
The Celebrant Institute, this website, exists for celebrants who struggle with their competence. It's ok, you're not alone in thinking "maybe I could do better." Marriage celebrancy is my full time job, it's all I do, and more often than not I question how competent I am at running a business, providing for my family, performing marriage ceremonies. My encouragement to you today is that it's ok, this is human, our brains hate us.
But there's also a chance that we could be better, so the Celebrant Institute serves that space, for celebrants who are already celebranting but want to be better.
As part of this betterment I'd like to introduce you to the Dunning-Kruger effect. The effect is this: people who think they're incompetent are not in-fact incompetent, because people who are incompetent are not competent enough to realise their own incompetence.
So if you have any illusion of high-functioning competence, you are most likely incompetent.
And if you query your own competence, perhaps even thinking you are indeed incompetent, you are not incompetent, but instead you are on the scale of competence. I'm willing to bet you're even more competent than you imagine.
So if you find yourself on this spectrum of competence, that is, you're not incompetent as a celebrant, but you also don't think you're so competent that you're probably actually incompetent, then come along for the ride as Sarah and I answer your questions about the legal side of marriage celebrancy, the business and marketing side of celebrancy, and of course the performance aspects. We'll cover it all, and all we ask is that if you value that kind of contribution to your competence, you put your money where your mouth is and become a member.
### I've watched celebrants read a newspaper
Sarah & Josh, chat about Sarah's experience performing Eurydice Dixon's funeral; Paperwork only, legals only, registry style weddings and the legalities surrounding them; Copyright for marriage celebrants.
1.30 Advice and tips for anyone using a microphone
3.00 Sarah talks about her experience of conducting Eurydice Dixon’s funeral
14.10 Josh discusses IGTV
29.58 Sarah & Josh discuss Legal’s only/Registry Style/Paperwork only weddings and what makes them legal.
54.33 Copyright for Marriage celebrants
60.00 Discussions around exhibiting at wedding expos
### Who can witness a NOIM under the title "legally qualified medical practitioner"?
Notices of Intended Marriage signed in Australia can be witnessed by people with a number of different qualifications. Most are pretty straightforward: an authorised celebrant, a justice of the peace, a barrister or solicitor, or a member of the Australian Federal Police or the police force of a State or Territory. Easy, right?
There's one qualification on the list that trips up a lot of couples and a lot of celebrants: legally qualified medical practitioner. What exactly does that mean?
A legally qualified medical practitioner is a person registered by the Medical Board of Australia. They will be either a general practitioner or a specialist doctor. Basically, if the specialty appears on this list, issued by the Medical Board of Australia, the practitioner is a legally qualified medical practitioner: Medical-List-of-specialties--fields-and-related-titles-Registration-Standard
Give me some examples, I can hear you saying. That list is three pages long, so there are a LOT of medical specialties. Here's just a few you may be familiar with:
anaesthetist
obstetrician
ophthalmologist (not to be confused with an optometrist; they are not medical practitioners but allied health practitioners)
paediatrician
cardiologist
endocrinologist
nephrologist
surgeon
psychiatrist (not be confused with psychologist; they are not medical practitioners but allied health practitioners)
Now, who's not on this list? Here's just a few:
pharmacist
nurse
dentist
physiotherapist
chiropractor
psychologist
These people would be registered with the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA) rather than with the Medical Board of Australia.
So the next time you receive a NOIM witnessed by a pharmacist, you'll know to send it back and tell them to try again, this time with a medical practitioner registered by the Medical Board of Australia.
PS: I'll discuss Commissioners for Declarations in another post.
Legal stuff
The requirement for a NOIM signed in Australia to be signed in the presence of a person who falls into one of these categories is outlined in section 42(2)(c) of the Marriage Act 1961 and further discussed on page 51 of the Guidelines on the Marriage Act for Marriage Celebrants 2014.
### A tribute to the greatest podcast episode
Sarah & Josh spend most of this episode talking about some major changes in the legalities of how we do our work:- changes to the gender and sex questions on the NOIM through an updated Compulsory OPD booklet- the new Marriage Regulations 2017- the new Draft Guidelines on the Marriage Act.
1.20 Is there such a thing as wedding season
3.00 Sarah and Josh’s ramblings
6.29 Josh & Sarah discusses Pa systems
14.19 Wedding industry conference
15.30 Josh’s enquiry process
22.20 Josh & Sarah discuss their marketing process
26.45 Changes to the legislation
31.15 Changes to the code of practice
37.40 The New Guidelines
53.00 Changes to the sex and gender item on marriage documents.
### Gay weddings are not a thing
As the introduction on the title address says gay-weddings are NOT a thing they are just weddings!!
This podcast features Josh and Tara Baker who is one of the brains behind Dancing With Her a publication for LGBTQ+ women in love.
Together Josh and Tara discuss a range of topics that people within the LGBTQ+ community face on a daily basis and how the language we use is vitally important when connecting to couples. The need to be authentic in what we share, do we use the correct language on our paperwork, no longer using the Bride & Groom tag etc are all parts of the whole.
With the legalisation of same-sex marriages in Australia on the 9th December in 2017, weddings among the L.G.B.T.Q + the community have been on the rise. So, when as a guest or vendor you find yourself working or witnessing their vows, it might be helpful to know-how you say something could offend the couple you so dearly love as you celebrate with them. Labelling same-sex couples as different from any other wedding is the root of the cause. The qualifier to describe the wedding signals that it’s unlike a wedding of a heterosexual couple. It feels exclusive. BUT it is a legal marriage like any between a man and a woman. A same-sex couple and a straight couple both say the required vows and sign the same marriage paperwork to be recognised as legally wed. So why has it taken time to get the language briefly and clearly expressed?
In this exclusive interview, Tara and Josh discuss the subtle differences of meaning, expression, or sound when engaging with couples. No matter how couples identify it is up to us to ask the question, how do you present yourselves?… what pronouns would you like me to use? Don’t just assume. This session also discusses the language used when addressing guests, the need to be inclusive to all.
The burning issues that came out of this podcast:
1:05: Begin by honest conversation, not assumptions. Taking responsibility on how to make a spouse feel with conversation/language
4:00: Acronyms
6:20: Gay weddings "it's just a term"
7:35: People as a whole, not just colour culture or sex
10:05: Genders/defunct idea?/scientific explanations. What pronouns do we use? *transgender *non-binary *no gender"
18:15: Relationships within marriage. What should we name our clientele, language to be used in ceremonies, celebrant paperwork-do you need to reword?
25:00: An open discussion on promoting business to the L.G.B.T.Q+ community. Remove Bride + Groom from advertising...don't make assumptions... be inclusive, equality is the sentiment.
31:35: If using a styled shoot be authentic and open, everybody doesn't want to be a poster-person.
33:40: Before December 2017
36:18: Life experience 2018, challenging for a time
### We're not so desperate anymore
Delivered with love and setting the tone for what was is to follow in this Podcast. Immersing their audience in a story is something both Josh and Sarah do because a well-told presentation will stick in their audience's brain for years to come!
2:17: Victorian/Melbourne Death Scene. How's life in the funeral industry? why celebrants must diversify their roles within the industry, not just rely on one form of industry work. Figures from Springvale Botanical Cemetery show the drop-in funerals for February and March. With no apparent reason, the bottom fell out of this market. there is a reoccurring issue. and you can bet that the same time the following year it was reversed. We need to think about the way we market death! Weddings have changed “enormously” in the past decade, and for the better, with people taking greater ownership not only of their ceremonies but also their marriages. Civil celebrants, for example, have overseen the majority of weddings in Australia since 1999. Similar “exciting developments” have been slower to show in the funeral industry. Now we see families looking for a celebrant who fits in with who they are. However, many are at the whim of a Funeral Director. Which says to us, don't just rely on this form of recommendation. to produce a sustainable business!
7:40: Custom design coffins: https://expressioncoffins.com.au - Josh talks to a Graphic artist on the work that she is doing within the funeral industry, designing beautiful wraps for standard coffins. These wraps are designed with the deceased in mind. Their personality certainly shines through.
10:00: Templates of forms. Official Certificate of Marriage and DONLIM template - the lovely Peter Willington was good enough to design some writeable PDF templates for the OCM and DONLIM, and the use of Adobe Acrobat versus Adobe Reader.
12:00: Technology, love it or hate it! Facebook information that we all should know about.
23:00: How to tackle a second wedding. When already legally married how you approach the conversation with couples as to why you can't have a second "marriage ceremony." The legal implications for celebrants, the nuances of this situation and the ramifications of your actions. Legal issues - wedding days = Marriage Act and consequences explained.
35:00: Marriage equality. NOIM descriptor was not clear, Sarah has since updated information that has been clearer in this podcast. Descriptor question is a tricky one, and we talk about how Sarah's advice in an earlier episode wasn't strictly on point.
45:40: Cancellations verses refunds.
### It's the Mabo of the thing
We know it’s been a while, but welcome back to The Celebrant Talk Show! In this episode we’re responding to questions from you, our lovely listeners. Feel free to send us your questions by email to hello@celebrant.fm, or even record yourself asking us your question and send us the audio file!
INTRODUCTION:
00:00 Josh’s travel story: Plan to be early!
BDM UPDATES
0400 All BDM’s (not NSW) ... finally onboard online with Marriage Equality
0455 QLD online system kicking it!
0615 NSW Online System: Buzzfeed article outs NSW Govt for not being ready for Marriage Equality Same sex couples are filling forms out by hand
10:20 Lifehack: How to get around NSW system upload issues
12:20 NSW BDM wastes $$$
FOLLOW UP ON CRM’s
14:10 CRM (Client Relationship Management) systems: (Links: Zapier, Calendly, Todoist, Helpscout, 17hats, Dubsudo, Studio Ninja, Tave)
14:55 Josh’s touches on Studio Ninja
15:35 Who CRM’s are designed for
16:45 Do you really need a CRM? What is the alternative?
BALI WEDDINGS
19:40 Are they legal or not? The in’s and out’s
21:30 Josh clarifies: What we as Civil Celebrants can/ can’t do
24:20 How Josh does his Bali Destination Weddings
25:00 Don’t Overthink it - Australian laws irrelevant in Bali
26:25 Which date is the anniversary? Legal ceremony vs destination ceremony?
SCRIPTING THE COUPLES STORY
27:35 Jacqueline asks about scripting: Formula for the Couples Story
28:40 Sarah’s formula: What she loves, how she gathers info and delivery tips.
34:25 Josh’s Formula: Why he doesn’t tell the couples story.
40:05 Its the Mabo of the thing
42:00 Keeping the vibe
43:15 Personalization: Sarah’s favorite bits
VIBING THE CROWD
44:35 Andrea asks for tips in Public Speaking in Celebranting
45:20 Side bar: Words are less important than the Vibe
46:50 Tip 1: Rehearse Public speaking vs performance
47:40 Tip 2: Speaking ‘with’ not ‘at’ the crowd
49:45 Tip 3: Observe your peers vibe
53:00 Tip 4: Working it tough
55:50 Tip 5: Sometimes it is what it is
58:10 Tip 6: Giving permission
59:00 Tip 7: Popping Awesome: be authentic
60:04 Three Pre-Ceremony Things Josh does
1 Crowd participation
2 Relatable & safe
3 Be genuine
63:00 Creating the expectation of less than perfect (aka keeping it real!)
65:50 Its ok to be obvious!
LEGAL 101
65:40 Legal question: NOIM Biological Parents vs non-biological (step parents) and legal names. (Giving defective notice Section 104)
70:05 Documents required to confirm legal name change
73:00 Who can witness signatures on a NOIM?
74:40 Medical Practitioner (can witness NOIM) VS Allied Health Practitioner (can’t witness NOIM)
78:40 JP’s & the Police
WRAP UP
79:45 Share the Celebrant.fm love! Like love or if you need any celebrant legal advice email or send a voice message to hello@celebrant.institute
81:00 Outro music
### I think I've already mentioned this on the podcast before
It’s been 7 weeks since marriage equality finally became a thing. Australia has figured out that all people are actually just people…So what is the LGBTTQQIAAP alphabet soup? Today S & J take a detailed look at CRM systems and processes and hash out the customer journey they take their couples on. There are heaps of tips and hints that may add some value for you and your clients. Feel free to steal, and if you have any further tips suggestions or questions email or send a recorded voicemail message to: hello@celebrant.institute
INTRODUCTION:
00:00 Gold digging: It’s all about having a chat and digging up gold nuggets for you!
03:20 Shameless plug: If you like what you're hearing send some love! …and don’t forget to share this podcast to friends and other celebrants
05:15 Industry wide: Shout out to non-celebrant listeners!
06:00 Random Accidental Tech Podcast: Josh’s fave nerdy tech podcast that started out talking about cars that accidentally became a tech podcast
BDM & MARRIAGE EQUALITY:
07:13 NSW BDM system not updated and printing blank NOIMs
08:34 VIC BDM updated within 24hrs
09:50 Annoyed with AG website PDF forms? (type too small, fonts change aka rubbish). Shout out to Peter Willington from QLD (amazing listener) has generously gifted his writable PDF forms for you to overcome these issues. Now avail for Download: $5 Celebrant Institute Shop! NOIM, DONLIM, Certificate of Marriage that auto-fills as you type. Sales proceeds go towards helping us with hosting costs – Thanks Peter!)
12:33 BDM aint got no Alibi: The forms are U-G-L-Y
13:23 July 2014 last time forms were updated the BDM advised they don’t care about the ugly forms are only needed for info only.
ALIENS vs ALPHABET SOUP:
14:10 Mind your language! Josh talks about his coffee date with an amazing human Tara from magazine Dancing with her (free digital copy of their magazine when you click over to the site!) She is really passionate about raising awareness and helping businesses become better with their use of gender/hetero normative language
17:06 Sarah listened to a podcast interviewing someone from Mrster (pronounced Miss-ter) on how to a make your websites marketing and conversations more inclusive. So having a guest like Tara would be great to have on the show for those of us that are a bit unsure of how to better familiarise ourselves with unfamiliar territory.
19:30 FYI: People are people
20:00 Check your privilege! Sarah feels concerned about her privilege but has nothing on Josh.
21:28 What is cis-gender?
22:55 OPD Social impact of Marriage Equality, Alphabet soup, schedule dates/topics
26:20 What do you think about mixed industry seminars/workshop events? Email your ideas hello@celebrant.institute
Q & A:
30:20 Send your voicemail questions to hello@celebrant.institute and you too can become world famous on celebrant.fm
30:45 Guy ‘Cliffo’ Clifton asks: What are your smart processes in celebrancy while keeping it human?
34:00 Checklists as a process
JOSH’s PROCESS:
34:50 The Slippery dip: Josh hashes out this modern sensation. A visualisation of the playground and his customer journey from the tricky bits (steps of the sales process: enticing people to climb the stairs) to sliding down the slippery dip (slide).
40:00 Getting personal: Abbie retired
42:00 Josh talks journey focus vs tools, name drops CRM systems and tells us what he uses and why. (Links: Zapier, Calendly, Todoist, Helpscout, 17hats, dubsudo, studio ninja, Tave)
44:00 Pushing the envelope: why he redirects to email to fill out booking form check it out (just don’t fill it out). You can view Josh’s booking form here (please do not fill it out). A whole lotta stuff happens once the booking form is filled out. Zapier automatically creates a calendar item with all the booking info, as well as invoicing in Xero.
48:40 NOIM via Celebrant Suite and booking meeting via Calendly
50:55 Todoist kicks in with reminders at different times 2 weeks out from the wedding as well as after the ceremony
52:40 Josh’s greatest fear: Trying to stay a lovely human and geek
54:35 Creating trust on the slippery dip
55:45 You get what you pay for. what do you want your clients to say about you?
56:30 How a nerd keeps it human.
57:10 Summary of Josh’s bits: How it all ties together (links: WordPress, gravity forms, stripe, g-suite)
57:40 Keeping it human with tools.
59:30 Don’t forget to polish your slippery dip: The value of evolving your system
SARAHS PROCESS:
60:50 How Sarah’s life changed. Pre vs Post electronic processes
62:20 Show me the money: Why transparency works.
63:10 Smashing the mold: Why Sarah does ALL the talking.
64:35 Power questions & Options: Reinforcing value
66:30 Booking: Email next steps in the process via Tave
68:14 Setting expectations: Service Agreement & Payment
69:35 Protecting IP and timeline to next meeting
70:40 Rewind: Life before Tave
72:10 How much time is saved with Tave ?
73:35 Calendly or not to Calendly: pros and cons
74:15 Josh’s Calendly Tips
76:20 MEETING 1: Process Overview
77:25 NOIM & Getting random: Turn it out and discovery.
78:15 Let’s have some fun! Ceremony planning
7850 Stripping back the layers & Family Sensitivities:
80:00 Ceremony Booklet run through
81:05 MEETING 2: Timeline to the ceremony
82:10 Mic drop! The importance of being careful about being careful
83:25 Tave’s funky features, task list and post ceremony bits
86:00 Click here to download Sarah’s checklists and booklets in Celebrant.fm sop
88:05 Different strokes for different folks: Hash and rehash!
92:50 Bug Bears and Praises: Sarah summarises what Tave can and can’t do.
93:50 Zero for expense reporting for finances: as Tave still not BAS friendly
94:25 Awesome Reporting in Tave : leads, pipeline, marketing and booking reports
95:35 Share the Celebrant.fm love! Like love or if you need any celebrant legal advice email us here hello@celebrant.institute
### Imagine that you're on a date with Facebook
It’s January – the traditional enquiries season for the wedding industry. Sarah and Josh reveal what their business focus is at the start of each year, and discuss in detail their process for dealing with an initial enquiry.
01.50 Marriage equality - following up from the last podcast, it’s now one month after the changes to the legislation
05.40 New question on the NOIM: Q1 Description of party
10.15 Difference between ‘partner’ and ‘spouse’
10.33 New question on the NOIM: Q4 Sex
13.37 Enquiries season (January) is here
16.19 Some wedding DJ love
17.04 The January Process – marketing, directories, expos; it is (or can be) a crazy time in the industry
18.05 Sarah does a major expo each January. Why expos can be good for your soul as well as your business
25.10 Josh discusses his marketing focus in January
30.04 Josh’s content sharing; blog vs socials. Episode title explained!
37.22 Facebook’s metric (measurement of success) is how many people CAU – Care About Us – Josh is aiming for similar – mattering to people.
43.25 Process! Methods & systems to avoid double-booking, especially in busy enquiries season
50.25 How Sarah deals with enquiries
53.42 How Josh deals with enquiries
Sarah’s CRM is Tave
Josh’s notification service is Pushover
Josh’s emailing system (since retired and replaced by Dubsado) is HelpScout
Josh adds video to email (since retired and replaced by Bonjoro) using BombBomb
### Stupid questions about marriage equality in Australia
Marriage equality has come to Australia! Finally! And it came in like a wrecking ball, changing everything for marriage celebrants whilst also delivering equality, love, and compassion to a large part of our population. There's so many questions to be asked about marriage equality and what it means for celebrants, so we hope you enjoy this episode - Josh is sorry for his terrible audio quality, it was recorded in a Brisbane co-working space which was noisey and echoey, sorry!
Is Australian society now doomed? Is my marriage now less valid?
This episode answers so many crucially dumb questions, you can’t afford to miss it. (Even if it is just for the giggle).
4.47: The biggest change after Marriage Equality – 7th December 2017
5.25: Previously only 3 categories of Celebrants.
A – Religious officiants of a recognised Religion.
B - State and Territory Officers (registry weddings),
C - Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrants.
6.47: The added 4th category after Marriage equality, D - Religious Marriage Celebrants
7.70: Jedi Warriors
8.10: What are Religious Marriage Celebrants?
9.26: Can new celebrants become a Religious Marriage Celebrant?
9.57: What if I have a moral objection to same sex marriages, but I’m not religious? (If that is a thing)?
12.25: When did Marriage Equality become legislation?
17.26: The first same sex marriage in Australia.
20.56: Shortening of Time chat
22.25: Civil Union information
24.15: What if you were married overseas before legislation changed? Is that now recognised in Australia?
26.35: Do I need to get divorced if I was married overseas but it wasn’t recognised in Australia at the time?
28.20: Can I use old NOIM’s that refer to parties as Bride & Groom?
32.26: Where can I download a NOIM?
34.33: NOIM info - Party 1 and Party 2 on the NOIM – which person do I put first?
34.50: NOIM info - Description of Party – What descriptor do I use?
37.00: NOIM info – Sex (Should be Gender) - Male, Female or X?
42.00: Official Certificate of Marriage
47.50: Form 15 – Canprint marriage.infoservices.com.au
50.44: Can we still use the words Bride/Groom/Husband/Wife in our script?
51.33: What does one month mean? 30 days? Or 28? Or……????
52.40: Monitum – how has this changed since Marriage Equality?
53.45: Legally binding vows
55.14: Why does it say spouse in the vows but partner on the NOIM?
56.34: What do you say for the pronouncement? I now pronounce you?
59.00: Saying “I do”
62.39: Celebrant Suite – Ron Byron and Ivan Conway
### The one where we throw eggs at Sarah
Get your eggs ready folks, for once Sarah Aird says something controversial. Don't worry though, anything she said is not as bad as whatever Josh has to say.
This episode also dives deep into what price to charge your clients, and why? Everyone has an opinion on this and want to ask the question, but the conversation is taboo right? Not on this podcast! Undercutting, undervaluing our profession, but more importantly encouraging you to charge what you are worth, are just some of the topics we chat through today.
1.00: Rain event/Consider your back up plans! (inclement weather)
1.22: https://tattersallsclub.com.au/ Tattersalls Club Brisbane City.
Massive Grand old Ball room. Well priced and beautiful backup option for outdoor weddings in the event of inclement weather $250 (Weekend rate). Good for Summer wet weather backups.
2.15: Community Park Hall across the road from Centennial Parklands Sydney, in the event of inclement option $185 https://www.centennialparklands.com.au/venue-hire/functions ??
4.00: Ceremony and reception at the same location is the norm? Or close by? Are guests going to have a good time travelling if at different locations? Consider your guests.
4.30: McLaren Vale Pennys Hill Winery (reference) https://www.pennyshill.com.au/
5.52 https://www.petethecelebrant.com.au/ (reference)
6.45: 2016 Australian Bureau of Statistics – chat - Nerdy numbers stuff- An industry in need of help. Annual marriages reached new low. ABS actual data cubes.
14.00: Money. What we charge. To chat about or not to chat about it…
15.50: Opening up the conversation
16.20: Celebrant pricing conversations – The background.
17.00: Price fixing conversation (ACCC) – The history / Dally Messenger.
20.00: Why our conversations are NOT price fixing
21.00: Karen’s points and opinion on the subject– Melbourne Celebrant
(Highlighting the variety of products and levels of pricing in the handbag industry – to compare with celebrants in celebrant industry)!
27.30: Karen highlights the different reasons people become celebrants and what factors may contribute to their price.
36.48: Karen’s respectful request for us to stop howling at each other for devaluing our profession by undercharging, without knowing all the circumstances. ?
37.15: Josh and Sarah dive deeper into money – knowing your worth.
39.35: Pricing Tips– What should I be charging? Where to start? Charging an hourly rate?
47:17: Celebrant.fm (reference)
47.22: Tenielle Nuske Adelaide Celebrant reference
48.20: Charging an hourly rate?
52.10: Charge what you are worth, what covers your bills, and what you are proud of.
55.46: Feeling comfortable with your fee
57.02: Sarah’s price points
59.35: Josh’s pricing structure
59.56: Alex from Time With Alex
Podcast extra:
On pricing, by Dally Messenger:
When Funeral Celebrants began in 1974, they inherited a culture.
The Funeral Director was in charge of the dignified disposal of the body.
The Church was in charge of the ceremony.
Funeral Directors ingratiated themselves with the clergy, because the clergy gave them work. As they presided at the last rites, the priest would recommend the Funeral Director who best understood that church’s ceremonial routine.
The clergy were the rulers of the roost - what they said went.
But the clergyman, strictly speaking, was not paid. He received a small amount of money as a gift - known as a stipend, It was presumed that the dead person had well and truly paid for his funeral in advance by his weekly offerings when he attended church.
Then came civil celebrants - who had not been paid “in advance” and who did not do, could not do, a “one size fits all” ceremony as the clergy had done.
But the Funeral Directors only paid celebrants the clergy “stipend”.
After the initial joy and sense of achievement had passed, many celebrants realised they could not pay the bills. Two things happened. Many celebrants ceased doing the work. Others lowered their standards of preparation and delivery. In Australia most of us had weddings to fall back on. A few who had private means kept a high standard and still do.
While this was happening a group of celebrants, of which I was part, politely confronted the better Victorian Funeral Directors and argued that we, in justice, should be paid more than the clergy. Two firms agreed - a Rob Allison of John Alison Monkhouse and Des Tobin of Tobin Bros Funerals. They gave us about double the clergy stipend. For a long while, funeral celebrancy in Victoria flourished.
But Victoria is but one state in Australia - and in the other states the funeral celebrants lacked political will, and to this day they only receive the clergy “stipend”.
Church attendance, however, has declined dramatically so the clergy (about 20% of funerals, we are 80%) have been demanding more.
The field is full of developments - not the least of which has been the takeover of most of the small funeral firms by the big corporation Invocare, whose one ideal is profit according to the norms of why corporations exist. In NSW there is now a campaign to have “the family” prepare and deliver the funeral to make their bill look less and to exercise their power ( They spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on TV advertising every day.).
In 1997, after I was paid $150 for a celebrity funeral that took about 50 hours to prepare and deliver and had 8500 people attending, I started a “Contact the Celebrant first” campaign and declared that I would only work for an hourly rate, from that moment on.
Needless to say, the Funeral Directors (except for one or two) blacklisted me and much more.
So I only dealt with my own constituency (people whom I knew and for whom I had performed ceremonies). I was up front about an hourly rate and a ball park figure.
I averaged $1500AUD (850 GBP) to $2000AUD (1130 GBP) per funeral. I am mostly retired now but I averaged 2 per month for a long while - one month I did 5. As I have always had an income from weddings I never became worried.
An hourly rate is fair - my clients have never given me a complaint - the general public is not the problem - the funerals directors are, and it is not only money it is a question of power.
A final note - I nearly always perform 90% of a funeral ceremony at a venue away from the Crematorium. I average an hour to an hour and a quarter per ceremony - I think a good life deserves a worthy tribute, and I see the funeral service as a very serious responsibility.
### The only podcast officially banned by the AFCC!
Welcome to the only podcast that's officially banned by the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants. We'd like to thank our families and our industry colleagues for supporting us thus far!
Seriously though, here's another sweet podcast episode, enjoy!
Emily asks for a podcast episode with top tips for new celebrants, we'll release it soon!
Marriage celebrant matters, the AGD newsletter is out and boy is it fun/boring. We deliver a blow by blow recap of this industry-defining PDF file.
CoCA comments "we don't want the right to discriminate" in the SMH
Send in your feedback - why are you, or are you not, a member of an association
The Marriage Act (legislation) has not changed yet, so we can't accept notices (NOIMs) for same sex couples until the marriage act allows us to. On the 23rd of November the current statement is "celebrants are currently not able to accept a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) from same-sex couples."
BDM (Births, Deaths and Marriages) chat on the new Queensland BDM online marriage registration system, NSW's Lifelink and Victoria's Marriages online, and why you might want to, or not use them. Facebook post to the new forms in beta release from the Qld BDM. When the new Qld BDM online system goes live, you'll access it here.
Listen directly, in the embed below, or learn how to subscribe on your device.
### Never seen paperwork fly like that
Two marriage celebrants with wedding hangovers bring you this November 6 episode of the Celebrant Talk Show,
In follow-up Evie writes in on the topic of titles for the individuals booking celebrants, and Sean asks how does Josh sign marriage paperwork on an iPad.
Topics covered in this talk show
AFCC advertising in the "Qantas magazine" - see the ad
Stat dec required for proof of date and place of birth - download the template
Listing your pricing and packages live on your website for the public to see
WTF?!? “CoCA does not support the September 2017 guidelines and position paper on the Conflict of Interest and Benefit to Business because the Policy does not uphold the professionalism of celebrants and the consultation process was flawed.” - read the statement
### I'm not a scientist, it's way above my pay-grade
Josh discovers that not everyone (no-one?) likes a rebrand; Sarah discusses how marriage equality will likely affect celebrants; and why both Josh and Sarah think telling people to kiss is a bit weird. Plus, the Marriage (Queensland) Arrangement 2017, why the marriage industry needs to start being less heterocentric now, and Josh is not a scientist.
0:00 Sarah and Josh have made a thing (podcast). Please send your questions.
2:45 Josh makes a boo boo – a lesson in rebranding.
25:36 What we think marriage equality will mean for celebrants (recorded pre-postal survey).
44:38 How the Marriage (Queensland) Arrangement 2017 will affect the Marriage Act 1961.
48:32 Making the wedding industry less heterocentric.
### We accidentally created a podcast
And so it begins. In the very first episode, Josh and Sarah discuss the change in the Conflict of Interest guidelines for marriage celebrants, and introduce the world to their very particular sets of skills; skills they've acquired over their celebrant careers; skills that make them a delight for people like you.
0:00 Josh & Sarah decide to start a podcast.
1:35 Chit chat: Josh discovers how expensive it is to plan a holiday in less than a week; when exactly is "wedding season"?; and the one thing Melbourne wedding expos always seem to forget.
6:27 The change to the Conflict of Interest Guidelines.
22:00 Introducing Josh and Sarah.
### Shop
[et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_row _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Celebrant Institute Online Shop
Downloadable content, professional development, templates, and helpful guides to help you be the best Australian marriage celebrant you can be.[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure="1_3,1_3,1_3" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="1_3" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_blurb title="Ceremony Builder Booklet" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23221" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/ceremony-builder-booklet-2.jpg" admin_label="Ceremony builder booklet" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23221" global_colors_info="{}"]A practical guide for marriage celebrants to create personalised, legally compliant wedding ceremonies. Includes a full ceremony outline with sample wording, ideas for rituals and guest involvement, plus legal tips, name change info, and contingency planning. Saves time while helping you deliver unique, meaningful ceremonies for every couple.
Download the booklet[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Request to BDM to transfer a NOIM" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23227" admin_label="BDM NOIM transfer" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23227" global_colors_info="{}"]A template for marriage celebrants to request the transfer of a Notice of Intended Marriage from the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages. This practical tool allows celebrants to quickly submit formal requests when couples change celebrants, ensuring the legal documentation moves smoothly between officials.
Download letter now[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Wedding Booking Form" admin_label="Wedding Booking Form" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]A detailed booking form template for celebrants to collect all key client, ceremony, and legal info in one place. Designed to streamline admin, avoid paperwork errors, and save time—while presenting a polished, professional experience during client consults.
Download the wedding booking form[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Stat Dec for different signatures" admin_label="Stat Dec for different signatures" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]A statutory declaration to be made by someone when their signatures are different on different marriage documents.
Download the stat dec[/et_pb_blurb][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_blurb title="Wedding Couple Questionnaire" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23225" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Wedding-Client-Questionairre.jpg" admin_label="Wedding questionnaire" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23225" global_colors_info="{}"]A ready-to-use template with 20 thoughtful questions to help celebrants gather meaningful insights into a couple’s story, values, and vision for marriage. Perfect for creating more personal, heartfelt ceremonies while saving time and simplifying the info-gathering process.
Download the questionnaire[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Stat Dec for date and place of birth" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23228" admin_label="Birth Stat Dec" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23228" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]A Commonwealth statutory declaration template for individuals unable to provide standard birth documents. Allows formal attestation of name, birth details, parentage, and reasons for missing ID—ideal for refugees, stateless persons, or those from areas with lost or destroyed records. Useful for marriage or other official applications.
Download stat dec now[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Form 15 template for Microsoft Word" admin_label="Form 15 template for Microsoft Word" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]Our Marriage Certificate Form 15 template for Microsoft Word provides marriage celebrants with the standardised format required to print Form 15 marriage certificates using Microsoft Word.
Download the Form 15 template [/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Wedding Checklist" admin_label="Wedding Checklist" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]A full wedding checklist to print out and use for each wedding booking.
[/et_pb_blurb][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_3" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_blurb title="Wedding Booking Form" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23226" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Booking-Form.jpg" admin_label="Booking form template" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23226" global_colors_info="{}"]A professional booking form template for marriage celebrants to capture all essential client, ceremony, and legal details in one place. Designed to streamline admin, reduce errors, and save time—while presenting a polished, organised image to clients.
Download the form[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Email to confirm NOIM with other partner" admin_label="Email to confirm norm" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]A ready-to-send email template for confirming the overseas partner’s participation in a Notice of Intended Marriage and collecting their essential details. Designed for celebrants managing international couples, it gathers all legally required info—like occupation, residence, and parent details—ensuring compliance and smooth paperwork when partners are abroad.
Download the Email to confirm NOIM with other partner template[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Form 15 template for Apple Pages" admin_label="Form 15 template for Apple Pages" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]Our Marriage Certificate Form 15 template for Apple Pages provides marriage celebrants with the standardised format required to print Form 15 marriage certificates using Apple MacOS, iPadOS and iOS's built-in word processor, Pages.
Download the Form 15 template for Apple Pages[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Funeral Run-sheet" admin_label="Funeral Run-sheet" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]A run-sheet template to help you bring value to your funeral clients.
Download the funeral run-sheet[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Funeral Booking Form" admin_label="Funeral Booking Form" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Download the funeral booking form[/et_pb_blurb][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
### Instagram Mythbusters Dashboard
We're so glad you're here for the Instagram Mythbusters webinar!
Resources from the webinar
Social Media Strategy in an Hour
Invest an hour into a strategy call with Edwin to build a social media strategy for your wedding business. Normally $300, for webinar ticket holders, $99.
Task list
Zoom: In preparation for the event please have Zoom installed and check that you have updated it to the latest version on your device/s: zoom.us/download
Follow:
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Subscribe to the email lists for:
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### June 2024 Marriage Law Update Webinar
Recording of the webinar held on Tuesday 18 June 2024
https://vimeo.com/961772795/95c4da492a?share=copy
### Instagram Myth Busting Event
[et_pb_section fb_built="1" admin_label="section" _builder_version="4.16" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_row admin_label="row" _builder_version="4.16" background_size="initial" background_position="top_left" background_repeat="repeat" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.16" custom_padding="|||" global_colors_info="{}" custom_padding__hover="|||"][et_pb_image src="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/DALL·E-2024-06-07-15.16.55-An-image-inspired-by-the-Ghostbusters-but-instead-of-fighting-a-ghost-they-are-ghostbusting-Instagram.-Three-characters-with-proton-packs-are-shoo.webp" alt="Instagram Mythbusters" title_text="Instagram Mythbusters" _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.25.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Instagram Mythbusters
This is your invitation to watch a recorded webinar that I hosted with the phenomenal Edwin Smith from The Social Sandwich: Instagram Mythbusting Class on Wednesday, July 3rd.
Edwin's reputation as a social media expert is unparalleled, he's an organic social media growth expert with a track record of transforming Instagram strategies for businesses across various industries. If you've ever wondered about the real deal behind hashtags, the best times to post, or the effectiveness of Reels versus Stories, this is the class for you.
You've seen Edwin's work before if you've ever followed The Voice, Love Island, Network 10, Survivor, I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Shark Tank, Supercars and Big Bash League on social media.
We'll start with a myth-busting session where I'll fire off your most pressing Instagram questions, and Edwin will give you the insider scoop based on his extensive experience. With a knack for cutting through the noise, Edwin will debunk common misconceptions and offer practical advice to enhance your social media presence. You'll learn why content is still king and how to leverage it to boost your wedding celebrant or wedding creation business.Don't miss out on this chance to learn from one of the best in the business and connect with fellow professionals.
Tickets are $40, but Celebrant Institute members can join for just $20. Mark your calendars, secure your spot, and get ready to revolutionise your Instagram strategy.
Where: On-demand on the Celebrant Institute website
Who: All wedding celebrants, officiants, and creators from other parts of the wedding industry are welcome.[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure="1_2,1_2" _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="1_2" _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_button button_url="https://buy.stripe.com/eVa15f8q60gnau4288" button_text="Buy Ticket $40" button_alignment="center" _builder_version="4.27.0" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"][/et_pb_button][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_2" _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_button button_url="https://buy.stripe.com/00g5lv5dU2ov59KeUV" button_text="Buy ticket at members discount $20" button_alignment="center" _builder_version="4.27.0" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" hide_and_show="show" show_to="off|on|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"][/et_pb_button][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" text_font="|700|on|on|||||" text_text_color="#000000" background_color="RGBA(255,255,255,0)" text_orientation="center" custom_margin="|1em|1em|1em|false|false" custom_padding="1em|1em|1em|1em|false|false" hide_and_show="hide" hide_from="off|on|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off|off" border_radii="on|3px|3px|3px|3px" border_width_all="2px" border_color_all="#E02B20" global_colors_info="{}"]Sign in to your account to see members ticket link, or become a member today to save $20[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
### Course Application
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### Thank You
Thank You For Application.
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### Privacy Policy
We respect your privacy
We respect your right to privacy and are committed to safeguarding the privacy of our customers and website visitors. This policy sets out how we collect and treat your personal information.
We adhere to the Australian Privacy Principles contained in the Privacy Act 1988 (Cth) and to the extent applicable, the EU General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).
"Personal information" is the information we hold which is identifiable as being about you. This includes information such as your name, email address, celebrant identification number, or any other type of information that can reasonably identify an individual, either directly or indirectly.
You may contact us in writing at hello@celebrant.institute for further information about this Privacy Policy.
What personal information is collected
We will, from time to time, receive and store the personal information you submit to our website, provided to us directly or given to us in other forms.
You may provide basic information such as your name, phone number, address and email address to enable us to send you information, provide updates and process your product or service order.
We may collect additional information at other times, including but not limited to, when you provide feedback, when you provide information about your personal or business affairs, change your content or email preference, respond to surveys and/or promotions.
Additionally, we may also collect any other information you provide while interacting with us.
We do not hold any financial information that belongs to you, however you should be aware that you may be providing financial information to a third-party billing service to whom you may be directed at the time of agreeing to a service or purchasing a product on our website. Please ensure that you have thoroughly read their terms and conditions prior to the use of their services, as information provided to a third party is subject to their terms and conditions and not these.
How we collect your personal information
We collect personal information from you in a variety of ways, including when you interact with us electronically or in person, when you access our website and when we engage in business activities with you. We may receive personal information from third parties. If we do, we will protect it as set out in this Privacy Policy.
By providing us with personal information, you consent to the supply of that information subject to the terms of this Privacy Policy.
How we use your personal information
We may use personal information collected from you to provide you with information about our products or services. We may also make you aware of new and additional products, services and opportunities available to you.
We will use personal information only for the purposes that you consent to. This may include to:
provide you with products and services during the usual course of our business activities;
administer our business activities;
manage, research and develop our products and services;
provide you with information about our products and services;
communicate with you by a variety of measures including, but not limited to, by telephone, email, sms or mail; and
investigate any complaints.
If you withhold your personal information, it may not be possible for us to provide you with our products and services or for you to fully access our website.
We may disclose your personal information to comply with a legal requirement, such as a law, regulation, court order, subpoena, warrant, legal proceedings or in response to a law enforcement agency request.
If there is a change of control in our business or a sale or transfer of business assets, We reserve the right to transfer to the extent permissible at law our user databases, together with any personal information and non-personal information contained in those databases.
Disclosure of your personal information
We may disclose your personal information to any of our employees, officers, insurers, professional advisers, agents, suppliers or subcontractors insofar as reasonably necessary for the purposes set out in this privacy policy.
If we do disclose your personal information to a third party, we will protect it in accordance with this privacy policy.
Security of your personal information
We are committed to ensuring that the information you provide to us is secure. In order to prevent unauthorised access or disclosure, We have put in place suitable physical, electronic and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure information and protect it from misuse, interference, loss and unauthorised access, modification and disclosure.
Where we employ data processors to process personal information on our behalf, we only do so on the basis that such data processors comply with the requirements under the relevant law and that have adequate technical measures in place to protect personal information against unauthorised use, loss and theft.
The transmission and exchange of information is carried out at your own risk. We cannot guarantee the security of any information that you transmit to me, or receive from me. Although we take measures to safeguard against unauthorised disclosures of information, we cannot assure you that personal information that we collect will not be disclosed in a manner that is inconsistent with this Privacy Policy.
Access to your personal information
You may request details of personal information that we hold about you in accordance with the provisions of the Privacy Act 1988 (Cth), and to the extent applicable to the EU GDPR. If you would like a copy of the information which we hold about you or believe that any information we hold on you is inaccurate, out of date, incomplete, irrelevant or misleading, please email us at hello@celebrant.institute.
We reserve the right to refuse to provide you with information that we hold about you, in certain circumstances set out in the Privacy Act or any other applicable law.
Complaints about privacy
If you have any complaints about our privacy practices, please feel free to send in details of your complaints to hello@celebrant.institute. We take complaints very seriously and will respond shortly after receiving written notice of your complaint.
Changes to Privacy Policy
Please be aware that we may change this Privacy Policy in the future. We may modify this Policy at any time, in our sole discretion and all modifications will be effective immediately upon us posting of the modifications on our website or notice board. Please check back from time to time to review our Privacy Policy.
Website
When you visit our website
When you use our website (“the Celebrant Institute”), we may collect certain information such as browser type, operating system, website visited immediately before coming to our site, etc. This information is used in an aggregated manner to analyse how people use our site, such that we can improve our service.
Third-party sites
Our site may from time to time have links to other websites not owned or controlled by me. These links are meant for your convenience only. Links to third-party websites do not constitute sponsorship or endorsement or approval of these websites. Please be aware that we are not responsible for the privacy practices of other such websites. We encourage our users to be aware, when they leave our website, to read the privacy statements of each and every website that collects personally identifiable information.
Use of Cookies
What is a Cookie?
A cookie is a small piece of data that a website asks your browser to store on your computer or mobile device. The cookie allows the website to "remember" your actions or preferences over time. Most Internet browsers support cookies; however, users can set their browsers to decline certain types of cookies or specific cookies. Further, users can delete cookies at any time.
Why do we use cookies?
We use cookies to learn how you interact with our content and to improve your experience when visiting our website(s). For example, sous cookies remember your language or preferences so that you do not have to repeatedly make these choices when you visit one of our websites. We also use cookies to help us with geolocation tracking in order to present you with the more relevant information. Additionally, cookies allow us to serve you specific content, such as videos on our website(s). We may employ the learnings of your behaviour on our website(s) to serve you with targeted advertisements on third-party website(s) in an effort to “re-market” our products and services to you.
What types of cookies do we use?
First-Party and Third-Party Cookies – we use both first-party and third-party cookies on our website. First-party cookies are cookies issued from our domain that are generally used to identify language and location preferences or render basic site functionality. Third-party cookies belong to and are managed by other parties, such our service providers. These cookies may be required to render certain forms within our website.
Session Cookies - Session cookies are temporary cookies that are used to remember you during the course of your visit to the website, and they expire when you close the web browser.
Persistent Cookies - Persistent cookies are used to remember your preferences within the website and remain on your desktop or mobile device even after you close your browser or restart your computer. We use these cookies to analyse user behaviour to establish visit patterns so that we can improve our website functionality for you and others who visit our website(s). These cookies also allow us to serve you with targeted advertising and measure the effectiveness of our site functionality and advertising.
How are cookies used for advertising purposes?
Cookies and ad technology such as web beacons, pixels, and anonymous ad network tags help us serve relevant ads to you more effectively. They also help us collect aggregated audit data, research, and performance reporting for advertisers. Pixels enable us to understand and improve the delivery of ads to you and know when certain ads have been shown to you. Since your web browser may request advertisements and web beacons directly from ad network servers, these networks can view, edit, or set their own cookies, just as if you had requested a web page from their site. Although we do not use cookies to create a profile of your browsing behaviour on third-party sites, we do use aggregate data from third parties to show you relevant, interest-based advertising. We do not provide any personal information that we collect to advertisers. You can opt out of off-site and third-party-informed advertising by adjusting your cookie settings. Opting out will not remove advertising from the pages you visit, but, instead, opting out will result in the ads you see not being matched to your interests. This implies that the ad(s) you see will not be matched to your interests by those specific cookies.
How are third-party cookies used?
For sous of the functions within our websites, we use third-party suppliers, for example, when you visit a page with videos embedded from or links to YouTube. These videos or links (and any other content from third-party suppliers) may contain third-party cookies, and we encourage you to consult the privacy policies of these third-party vendors on their websites for information regarding their use of cookies.
How do we reject and delete cookies?
You can choose to reject or block all or specific types of cookies set by virtue of your visit to our website by clicking on the cookie preferences on our website(s). You can change your preferences for our websites and/or the websites of any third-party suppliers by changing your browser settings. Please note that most browsers automatically accept cookies. Therefore, if you do not wish cookies to be used, you may need to actively delete or block the cookies. If you reject the use of cookies, you will still be able to visit our websites but sous of the functions may not work correctly. By using our website without deleting or rejecting sous or all cookies, you agree that we can place those cookies that you have not deleted or rejected on your device.
Last updated: 22 May 2020
### Certificate IV in Celebrancy Assessors
[et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_row _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]An assessor at a registered training organisation (RTO) like the Celebrant Institute RTO is responsible for evaluating the knowledge and skills of students who are enrolled in vocational training programs. This typically involves conducting assessments, providing feedback to students, and determining whether students have met the required competency standards for their chosen field of study.
The role of the assessor is to ensure that RTOs are providing high-quality training and education to their students and that students are acquiring the necessary skills and knowledge to succeed in their chosen careers.
Your assessors for the Certificate IV in Celebrancy are responsible for you becoming an awesome celebrant, and we'd love for you to meet them.[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure="2_5,3_5" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" border_width_top="2px" border_color_top="#000000" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="2_5" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_image src="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/AAmanda-IMG_0133-RESIZE.jpg" title_text="AAmanda IMG_0133 (RESIZE)" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_5" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Amanda Knapton
I became a Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrant in 2008, after leaving the world of design, travel, and manufacture. I became a Celebrant, as a hobby, but it soon became my passion and I naturally transitioned to becoming a full time Celebrant.
Over the years I have developed a great working relationship with many of the local wedding vendors and venues, who I now call my friends.
In 2012 I launched Pop Up Elopements, and have been pioneering the mini wedding movement within the Sutherland Shire since pre-covid.
In 2021 I completed my Certificate IV in Training & Assessment and thanks to my mentors Tania Marsh and Sarah Aird, I became an Assessor in Certificate IV in Celebrancy. I now have the privilege of working with the Celebrant Institute and assisting and inspiring the up-and-coming Celebrants in Australia.
I am passionate about crafting magical & memorable ceremonies, and I am constantly looking at new and creative ways to help couples say “I do”.
I live in the beautiful Sutherland Shire with my Husband, 2 kids, our dog Riot and budgie Banjo and when not at weddings or assessing I can usually be found near the beach with a Prosecco in hand.
Find out more about Amanda at acelebrationday.com.au[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure="2_5,3_5" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" border_width_top="2px" border_color_top="#000000" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="2_5" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_image src="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/20200714_72.jpg" title_text="20200714_72" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="3_5" _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.19.2" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Tania Marsh
I have been a Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrant since 2010, a Funeral Celebrant since 2014 and in 2018 with a large part of my client bookings coming through referrals, I became a full-time celebrant.
Celebrancy is not a job to me, it is a passion and a lifestyle. Being able to help couples make their wedding day dreams come true, is empowering, the best job in the World.
My celebrancy practice has a great reputation with clients for the quality of the ceremonies I write, my professional standards, and my friendly style. My approachability has created a safe space in which other celebrants feel comfortable to seek my counsel and guidance when confronted with extraordinary situations, or circumstances that they have not previously encountered.
With the encouragement and support of my Husband, and other Celebrants, I completed additional training and qualified as a Trainer/Assessor in 2019. Running my own training business until joining the assessment team at Celebrant Institute in 2020. It amazing to observe our students grow, in knowledge, in skills, in confidence, and in style, throughout this Cert IV and to see students attain their celebrant goal is awesome.
When I am not “Celebranting” I love to spend time with my family, my Husband Trevor, my horses Banjo and Doctor K and Red Setter dogs Merlot and Shiraz... or enjoying a glass of red wine, yes, Merlot and Shiraz as a preference!
Find out more about Tania a celebrant4yourwedding.com.au[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
### Professional Development
[et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_row admin_label="Row" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_image src="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/OPD-2021-cover-Blog-Banner.jpg" title_text="OPD 2021 cover (Blog Banner)" align="center" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure="1_2,1_2" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="1_2" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_blurb title="How to be a funeral celebrant" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23622" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/how-to-become.jpg" admin_label="How to be a funeral celebrant" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23622" global_colors_info="{}" background__hover_enabled="on|hover" background_enable_pattern_style__hover="off" background_color__hover="" background_enable_color__hover="off" title__hover_enabled="on|hover" title__hover="Become a funeral celebrant"]Build a Sustainable Funeral Celebrancy Practice with Sarah Aird.
This course is your roadmap to professional, thoughtful, and sustainable funeral work. Learn how to approach funerals with care—from the first client call through to the ceremony itself—with guidance from experienced celebrant Sarah Aird.
What you’ll learn:
The purpose and evolution of funeral ceremonies
How funerals work in Australia today
Your role as a funeral celebrant
Sarah’s full client journey: from enquiry to ceremony delivery
Scripts, checklists, and planning tools to use straight away
What’s included:
2h 38m of video
4h 44m of text + a 42-page booklet
4 document templates (booking form, checklist, eulogy prompts, AV run sheet)
Real-world examples: 3 full scripts, 2 filmed ceremonies
Includes lifetime access so you can revisit whenever you need.
Buy the course on how to become a funeral celebrant in Australia[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Marriage law refresher" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23626" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/edd/2022/06/Marriage-Celebrants-Legal-Refresher-The-basics-3-1.jpg" admin_label="Refresher" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Learn the Legal Essentials of Marriage Celebrancy in Australia
A practical, professional development course for authorised celebrants covering everything you need to legally marry couples in Australia—from lodging the NOIM to registering the marriage. Choose between:
Basics Course: A full walkthrough of legal requirements and obligations for every marriage.
Uncommon Extras Course: A deep dive into rare but important legal scenarios (e.g., prospective marriage visas, shortening of time, second marriages).
Bundle Option: Get both together for the complete legal toolkit.
What’s included:
3h 39m of video
5h 44m of text + two detailed booklets
5 useful document templates
You’ll cover all the forms, legal procedures, and rare edge cases—plus you’ll get lifetime access for ongoing reference.
Buy the Bundle, the Basics, or the Extras[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Completing the legal forms" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23630" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/edd/2022/06/Completing-legal-marriage-forms.jpg" admin_label="Forms" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23630" global_colors_info="{}"]Master the New Marriage Forms.
Need a refresher on how to complete the latest marriage forms? This course gives you a step-by-step walkthrough of every required field across all key documents—so you can be accurate, compliant, and confident.
What you’ll learn:
How to correctly complete the NOIM, Declaration of No Legal Impediment, Form 15, Official Certificates of Marriage, and the Record of Use
How to identify and fix common errors
The definition of “one month” and how it impacts your paperwork
What’s included:
1h 30m of video
1h 54m of text + 34-page booklet
1 downloadable template (Form 15)
Also included in the full Marriage Law Basics course, or available as a standalone option. Includes lifetime access.
Learn how to use the most recent marriage paperwork with this online course.[/et_pb_blurb][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type="1_2" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_blurb title="The Marriage Client Journey" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23628" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/edd/2022/06/The-marriage-client-journey-2.jpg" admin_label="Client Journey" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23628" global_colors_info="{}"]Deliver a Consistent, High-Quality Celebrant Experience with Sarah Aird
Discover how Sarah Aird crafts a seamless, repeatable client journey for every couple she works with. This course is a behind-the-scenes look at her end-to-end celebrant workflow—from the first enquiry to post-wedding follow-up—designed to help you elevate your professionalism and efficiency.
What you’ll learn:
How to manage your celebrancy clients from enquiry to ceremony
Communication, planning, and workflow strategies that scale
Sarah’s full process including meetings, scripting, payments, and follow-up
Real-life ceremony scripts and examples
What’s included:
3h of video
5h of text + a 40-page booklet
15 downloadable templates (valued at $120 in the shop), including: Ceremony Builder Booklet, client emails, Form 15, invoice/receipt, checklist, vow pack, planning tools, and more
3 full ceremony scripts + 2 ceremony videos
Includes lifetime access for ongoing reference.
Buy the course to learn how to develop a client journey[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Helping with prospective marriage visa" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23629" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Prospective-Marriage-Visas-2.jpg" admin_label="prospective marriage visa application" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23629" global_colors_info="{}"]Supporting Prospective Marriage Visa Applications as a Celebrant
This short course helps you understand your role in a couple’s Prospective Marriage Visa application, including what’s required and how to confidently provide a letter of support.
What you’ll learn:
The background and requirements of the visa process
Your legal and professional responsibilities
How Sarah Aird handles these requests in her own practice
What’s included:
11-minute video
29 minutes of text + 6-page booklet
1 downloadable template (letter of support)
Also included in the Uncommon Extras course, or available to purchase on its own. Lifetime access included.
Buy this course on helping your clients with their Prospective Marriage Visa application[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="Co-piloting a marriage ceremony" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23623" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/edd/2022/06/co-piloting-a-marriage-ceremony.jpg" admin_label="co-pilot" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23623" global_colors_info="{}"]Co-Presenting a Ceremony with an Unauthorised Person
Learn what the law says about sharing a ceremony with someone who isn’t an authorised celebrant—and how to handle it professionally and legally. Sarah Aird shares her approach and outlines your obligations.
What you’ll learn:
Legal considerations when co-presenting with a friend, family member, or other unauthorised person
How to protect the validity of the marriage while honouring your couple’s wishes
Sarah’s process and advice for navigating these requests
What’s included:
8-minute video
18 minutes of text + 6-page booklet
Also included in the Uncommon Extras course, or available to purchase on its own. Lifetime access included.
Buy the course now.[/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_blurb title="How to get a shortening of time" url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23627" image="https://celebrant.institute/wp-content/uploads/edd/2022/06/shortening-of-time-resized.jpg" admin_label="Shortening of Time" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" link_option_url="https://members.celebrant.institute/checkout?product=23627" global_colors_info="{}"]This mini-course explains when and how a couple can apply for a shortening of time on their NOIM—and how you, as their celebrant, can support them through the process.
What you’ll learn:
The five legal grounds for shortening of time
Your role in supporting the application
How Sarah Aird prepares a letter of support and confirms availability
What’s included:
16-minute video
30 minutes of text + 7-page booklet
1 downloadable template (letter of support/availability)
Also included in the Uncommon Extras course, or available as a standalone. Lifetime access included.
Buy the shortening of time course.[/et_pb_blurb][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_text admin_label="Text" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Celebrant Training and Professional Development Courses
Education is what you needed to do to become a celebrant. For many of us, it has been the Certificate IV in Celebrancy, for others, the various pathways into celebrancy that allowed us the accreditation and authorisation as a celebrant.
Education for a credential exchanges drive, excellence, and sustainability for compliance and certification for this credential. An institution can educate you, and if you want the Certificate IV in Celebrancy, we'd love to talk to you about it.
Professional development is about learning, not education. Education got you here, professional development will get you to where you want to be. Learning can’t be done to you. It is a choice and it requires active participation, not simple adherence to laws and guidelines.
We created the Celebrant Institute to make an opportunity for intentional learning. To create a space for the crazy celebrants, the ones who dared to excel, grow, lead, and influence our celebrancy community and the wedding industry.
We hope these professional development courses to help you achieve these goals.[/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_accordion_item title="OPD or PD?" open="on" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]With the ongoing professional development program now firmly in the hands of the Attorney-General’s Department, your complete legal responsibility to complete OPD is with them now. We are liberated to provide professional development at your, and our, own pace, in a format and on a topic that we believe is beneficial and helpful for professional celebrants running sustainable businesses.[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Self-paced courses" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]Each course can be completed and accessed at your own pace, for as long as we offer that course[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Unlimited access" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]You can access and re-access the course as often as you want for as long as we offer it[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="At a time and place that suits you" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]Offered online with video and workbook content so you get to choose when you do the PD, where, and how[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Follow-up mentoring and coaching available" _builder_version="4.17.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]Follow-up coaching and mentoring on an hourly basis is available[/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
### Funerals in Australia
[et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_row _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"][et_pb_text admin_label="Welcome" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]WELCOME
Welcome to the Celebrant Institute Professional Development activity Funerals in Australia. This activity is designed to provide you with an overview of funerals both historically and in Australia, as well as a suggested client journey and an outline of how I (Sarah Aird) approach my funeral celebrancy work.
This online page contains multiple videos in which I deliver the content to you just as I would in a classroom or Zoom environment, plus supporting text.
Click on this link to download the text in a separate booklet if you prefer to read it on paper.
Your professional development activity package also contains the document templates I have designed during my years as a funeral celebrant; you can download them by clicking on the links throughout the text below, and edit them to fit with the way you work.
There are no assessment tasks to submit to complete this activity; the information is simply provided for you to review in your own time and return to whenever you want a refresher.
If you have any questions, one-on-one mentoring sessions with me can be booked by clicking on this link [I'm thinking like a Calendly link for them to choose a time then Zap to Xero or however we do it for payment].
Enjoy!
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Purpose of a funeral ceremony" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Purpose of a Funeral Ceremony
https://vimeo.com/691719509/8378492c61
We recognise major events in our lives with ceremony and ritual. A funeral marks a death and is a testament to a life lived. Such a significant event needs to be marked for the people who are coping with the recent loss of their loved one. The funeral is a way this transitional phase is demarcated in the lives of those who are grieving.
The funeral ceremony is part of a healing process. It marks the grief and loss of a person or family and then honours the next transition — beginning the next stage in life without that person. These services meet the physical, psychological, social, and spiritual needs of both family and friends. It can allow people to transform their grief into good memories for the days ahead and can be the most important activity at the time of death. It is also an opportunity to say farewell in a way that has special meaning.
Arranging the practical details of a funeral may be the bereaved family’s first step toward facing the reality of the death. This is a necessary part of the grieving process. Without a funeral, the bereaved may find it difficult to accept the death and to heal emotionally. Socially a funeral provides an opportunity for shared loss and the support of family and friends. It brings together family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours to express sympathy and concern. It is a time to understand the relationship of the living with the person who has passed away. It may also serve to strengthen relationships among the living. Spiritually, a funeral service helps family and friends to meaningfully relate to religious/spiritual resources for understanding and accepting suffering and death. It gives a perspective on death and the meaning of life.
As a funeral celebrant it is your privilege to guide people through the ceremonial part of the rite of passage. Understanding the significance of ritual will help you give significance to the celebration of a life when you are asked to be the celebrant. The grieving people whom you serve may not appreciate the significance of ritual at that point in their lives, but if you imbibe the ceremony script with the right balance of words, songs and quotes, the people will be able to feel the healing power of the funeral ceremony.
The following are some of the purposes that the ceremonial process of a funeral can represent. A funeral ceremony can:
mark a transition in life
honour and celebrate a life
recognise that a person is moving from one situation to another
celebrate humanity
enable people to cross a threshold in life.
assist with change
enable social groups to come together for a common purpose.
affirm shared values and interpretations of the world
assist with the healing process
honour the next stage in the life journey.
celebrate survival with hope and the overcoming of adversity.
acknowledge a change of status.
honour the things and people we love and give meaning to.
take us (momentarily) to a higher plane of being.
validate the life of the deceased.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="A brief history of funeral customs" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]A Brief History of Funeral Customs
In our modern world most of us associate funerals with either a conventional burial or cremation. Throughout history though, various peoples had different ways of sending their dead on their final journey. What has not changed is the fact that the grandeur of the funeral service will be affected by your status or your wealth.
The death of Princess Diana is an example of the pomp and ceremony usually associated with the death of royalty. The funeral of President Kennedy reflected how a great democracy dealt with the death of a modern-day ‘Head of State’. It is common for such funerals to have a church service and a funeral procession where a strong military presence is expected. This is in stark contrast to the mass graves of the plague victims of earlier times who were simply thrown on a barrow to be brought to their final destination.
Early funeral rites
The history of a funeral service is a history of humankind. Funeral customs are as old as civilization itself.
Every culture and civilization attended to the proper care of their dead. Every culture and civilization ever studied has three things in common relating to death and the disposition of the dead:
Some type of funeral rites, rituals, and ceremonies.
A sacred place for the dead.
Memorialisation of the dead.
Researchers have found burial grounds of Neanderthals dating to 60,000 BC with animal antlers on the body and flower fragments next to the corpse indicating some type of ritual and gifts of remembrance. Anthropologists assume that with no great psychological knowledge or custom to draw from, Neanderthals instinctively buried their dead with ritual and ceremony.
The role of fear
It is believed that primitive humans lived in a world of fear. They reacted to most natural phenomena such as weather events based on that fear. They eventually attributed many life events to their instinctive knowledge of a higher being or power. In their primitive mind, life and death events were the acts of spirits. Since they were not able to see or sense these spirits, they lived in awe of these spirits. In an effort to enact some type of truce with these ‘gods’ or ‘spirits,’ it is believed that humans devised charms, ceremonies and rituals to placate these ‘spirits’. Although we may find ancient burial customs to be strange, or in some cases repugnant, they obviously arose for a reason. The first burial customs were crude efforts to protect the living from the spirits that caused the death of the person. Fear of the dead caused the burning of bodies to destroy evil spirits. Many primitive tribes even today simply run away from their dead, leaving them to rot.
Similarly, one of the world’s oldest religious peoples, the Zoroastrians allow their dead to simply rot or be devoured by vultures. They consider fire to be too sacred to use in disposing of the dead and burial is thought to be a defilement and injury to Mother Earth. Others place the body deep in the jungle to be devoured by wild beasts. In Tibet and among the Kamchatkan Indians, dogs are used for this purpose because they believe that those eaten by dogs will be better off in the other world.
Herodotus tells us that the Calatians ate their own dead. It was considered a sacred honour and duty of the family. Queen Artemisia supposedly mixed the ashes of her beloved with wine and drank it. To this day, certain African tribes are known to grind the bones of their dead and combine them with their food.
The Zulus burned all of the belongings of the deceased to prevent evil spirits from even hovering in the vicinity. Some tribes would set up a ring of fire around the bodies of their dead to singe the wings of the spirits to prevent them from attacking other members of the community. Other tribes would throw spears and arrows into the air to kill hovering spirits, or would eat bitter herbs to drive away or kill spirits that may have already invaded their bodies.
The role of religion
This fear of the dead carried over into what was developing into religious thought. The Polynesian word tabu expressed the view that a person or thing coming into contact with the dead was set apart and shunned for a religious or quasi-religious reason. In English this thought is rendered ‘defilement’ or ‘pollution.’ To most people a dead body is indeed taboo.
In Hebrew belief, the dead were considered unclean and anyone who came in contact with the dead was declared the same. In Old Persian scriptures, a similar taboo is expressed. Anyone who touched a dead body was ‘powerless in mind, tongue, and hand.’ This paralysis was inflicted by the evil spirits that were associated with the dead body.
Sacrifices of one kind or another were offered in honour of the dead. In some cases their purpose was to appease the spirits. In some cultures, these sacrifices were meant to be used by the deceased in the future world. Self-mutilation, such as cutting off of toes or fingers, was another type of sacrificial sign of respect for the deceased.
Suicide was considered the ultimate show of respect and sacrifice in some cultures. The sacrifice of dogs, horses and slaves was common in Africa after the death of a king. In Japan, it was the custom to insist that 20 or 30 slaves commit Seppuku (also known as Hara-Kiri) at the death of a nobleman. In Fiji it was considered correct for the friends of the deceased as well as his wives and slaves to be strangled.
Probably the strangest rite was practised among the Hindu in India prior to being outlawed by the British. The practice was known as suttee, or ‘wife burning’. The wife of the deceased was expected to dress herself in her finest clothing and lie down by the side of her deceased husband on the funeral pyre to be cremated alive. The eldest son then lit the pyre.
In many cultures, men and women were treated differently at death. Among them:
the Cochieans buried their women, but suspended their men from trees
the Ghonds buried their women but cremated their men
the Bongas buried their men with their faces to the north and their women with their faces to the south.
Modern funeral customs
We would like to think that in these modern times, our state of enlightenment would have totally dispensed with such thinking, but this is not the case. Even today, death is often approached from a standpoint of fear. Many of our funeral customs have their historical basis in pagan rituals.
Modern mourning clothing came from the custom of wearing special clothing to disguise identity from returning spirits. Pagans believed that returning spirits would fail to recognise them in their new attire and would be confused and overlook them.
Covering the face of the deceased with a sheet stems from pagan tribes who believed that the spirit of the deceased escaped through the mouth. They would often hold the mouth and nose of a sick person shut, hoping to retain the spirits and delay death.
Feasting and gatherings associated with the funeral began as an essential part of the primitive funeral where food offerings were made. Wakes held today come from ancient customs of keeping watch over the deceased hoping that life would return.
The lighting of candles evolved from the use of fire mentioned earlier in attempts to protect the living from the spirits. The practice of ringing bells comes from the common medieval belief that the spirits would be kept at bay by the ringing of a consecrated bell. The firing of a rifle volley over the deceased mirrors the tribal practice of throwing spears into the air to ward off spirits hovering over the deceased.
Originally, holy water was sprinkled on the body to protect it from demons. Floral offerings were originally intended to gain favour with the spirit of the deceased. Funeral music had its origins in the ancient chants designed to placate the spirits.
Every country and every race has its own way of burying their dead. There are sepulchres and shrouds, graves and mausoleums. The American Indians sent their deceased to the great hunting ground in the sky; sailors go to ‘Davy Jones’ Locker’. The Norsemen sent their dead to Valhalla, while in Greek legend their spirits found their heaven in the Elysian Fields.
Yet whether we believe in the Buddhist nirvana or the Christian paradise, we all share the same feelings of loss and grief when we lose someone we love. A funeral ceremony is a fitting way to express that grief and to say our goodbyes. Such a tribute should not be restricted to statesmen and public figures. All those we have loved and lost have contributed to our lives. It is fitting that we should publicly proclaim that fact as well as remember them in our hearts. Loving words bring comfort. So whether the funeral is a traditional burial or the scattering of ashes over the sea, to immortalise a loved one for evermore with a eulogy expressing love, those left behind can be eased through the grief process when paying tribute to their loved ones.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Dying and death care in Australia" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Dying and Death Care in Australia
Prior to World War II, it was common practice in Australia (as in much of the Western world) for dying people to be cared for in the home by family members. Death was much less of a taboo because so many people had experience of caring for a family member through illness and death, or keeping them home after death for people to pay their respects.
Following World War II, there began a movement for people to put their elderly relatives in aged care facilities/nursing homes, and they would often die in such a facility without the care and presence of their family or friends. Death became a topic that is not really discussed because so few people have firsthand experience of dealing with it, and there has been the attitude of ‘If I talk about it, it will happen’.
In the last 10-15 years, there has been a move back to dying at home or bringing family members home to die; people have started to express their wish to die in their familiar surroundings, with their family and friends at their side.
While discussions of death are still on the more taboo side, there has been a strong movement in the last five years to remove the stigma around planning for death and dying, with organisations and individuals encouraging people to discuss and document their wishes for their end-of-life care and post-death ritual with their families, so that families are not needing to make tough decisions in the emotional period following a death. Counselling and other support services are available for people dealing with death (either before or after a death) and those caring for them.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Funeral directors" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Funeral Directors
When a death occurs, someone in a family will begin the process of informing loved ones of the loss and start making plans for the funeral. In most instances a funeral service company is appointed to take care of the funeral process.
The funeral director will respond to the needs and requirements of the family. They will give suggestions, listen to their ideas, and make recommendations with a quiet strength that will provide comfort as they make decisions. The funeral director will handle all necessary details and provide complete personal supervision before, during and after the funeral. They will care for the deceased, oversee paperwork and documents, as well as handle discussions with the family regarding the funeral service details.
After death
Funeral directors will care for the deceased as follows:
Transfer the deceased from the place of death to the funeral home/mortuary, where they will be stored in a refrigerated facility.
Embalm (if requested), wash, dress, and present the deceased. If the deceased is to be viewed before burial or cremation, makeup may be applied and hair may be styled.
Place the deceased in the family’s selected coffin or casket, which is then closed ready for transport to the funeral.
Generally a funeral celebrant is not involved with a body from the point of death until burial or cremation, however with more families choosing to keep their loved one at home after death and even to have the funeral at home, celebrants may be involved in rituals or in other ways. Celebrants must be comfortable with being in the presence of a dead body.
Consultation
During the consultation with the family, the funeral director will ask the family to select:
coffin/casket
date, time and location for the ceremony
burial/cremation
celebrant/clergy
flowers
refreshments
orders of service
photo slideshows
music
newspaper notices of the death and/or funeral.
After the consultation, according to the family’s instructions, the funeral director will:
arrange the cemetery or crematorium (disposal requirements)
book and manage all suppliers
organise newspaper notices.
Documentation
Funeral directors will organise the following documentation:
obtain medical certificate from the relevant doctor
complete government forms as required
obtain any necessary permits
prepare and place death notices in the news media (after consultation with the authorised representative of the deceased)
supply the Funeral Director’s Statement of Death to the Registry of Births Marriages and Deaths to register the death
apply for a BDM-issued death certificate on behalf of the family
pay the celebrant and other suppliers their fees
render an account for services provided to the person who provided information for the death certificate.
On the day of the ceremony
The funeral director’s responsibilities on the day of the funeral include:
Transporting the deceased to the service.
Managing the logistics of the funeral ceremony in consultation with the celebrant.
Transporting the deceased onto the cemetery/crematorium.
How much choice does the family have in funeral arrangements?
The family has absolute choice in funeral arrangements, with certain exceptions such as a coronial investigation in some murder or accidental death cases where permission may be given for a funeral by burial only. Apart from in instances where there are specific religious or cultural requirements for the place or timing of a funeral ceremony, families in Australia should have complete choice when it comes to these matters. While they may be encouraged by a funeral director to schedule a funeral within a few days of a death, there is no particular reason why funeral ceremonies must take place quickly.
There is a trend towards taking more time between the death and the funeral to allow (a) for mourners to gather from interstate or overseas and (b) for close family members and friends to have time to make decisions about how to honour their loved one and to sit with their grief while still ensuring the funeral is appropriately conducted.
Funeral or memorial ceremonies can take place almost anywhere; the only restriction will generally be whether a venue is prepared to have a coffin present. There may be some variation between states and territories within Australia, however in most instances relevant health departments require the deceased to be placed in a coffin for burial or cremation. In the case of cremation, the coffin must be combustible.
In some states, funeral costs may be government-assisted in the event of insufficient funds. Such funerals have limitations on choices. When necessary, advice could be given in the first instance by a funeral director, social worker or relevant government office.
How much will a funeral cost?
It’s an obvious and understandable question, but just like building a house, the answer could be almost limitless. There are certain necessary inclusions and certifications required, some of which have fixed costs, some of which are negotiable. A specific answer cannot be given to this question because of the scope of options available. The costs of a funeral include professional service fees, disbursements, (i.e. funeral expenses such as flowers, newspaper notices, burial or cremation, BDM death certificate, transportation, celebrant, refreshments, etc.), and choice of coffin. Coffins cost anywhere from around $800 to many thousands.
Options for final disposition or disposal of the body
Final disposition is the term for the way in which the deceased will be cared for after death, as decided by the family. Burials, entombments, or cremations are methods of final disposition. Regardless of which final disposition method is chosen it is important to have a service of remembrance, either a funeral (with the body present) or a memorial (with no body present). This is an important gathering of family and friends that provides an opportunity to pay tribute to a unique life. A service of remembrance helps survivors face the reality of death which is a first step toward dealing with grief. It also brings people together to give support and consolation when most needed.
Burial
Burial or interment is a widely used form of final disposition. Bodies must be buried in approved cemeteries. Most communities have at least one cemetery. These include municipal, church, or privately-owned cemeteries.
There are two methods of burial. The first is a burial where the body is placed into a coffin, lowered into the ground and covered with earth. The second way is to place the coffin in an outer container made of concrete, metal, fibreglass or wood. An outer container protects the coffin and its contents and may also prevent the grave from excessive settling. Some cemeteries require the use of an outer container for perpetual care. The funeral director will advise clients of the cemetery requirements in their area and can show them a selection of outer containers.
It is possible to arrange for double or even triple graves, where one person is buried deeply, and when a spouse or another loved one dies, their coffin is lowered on top.
Entombment
Another type of burial involves permanently placing the body and the coffin in a mausoleum, or tomb (thus entombment), above or just below the ground.
Most mausoleums are built within a cemetery. When a coffin is entombed it is placed in a space in the mausoleum wall. The front is then sealed and faced with either marble or granite. A permanent memorial can be attached to this.
Cremation
Cremation is the process of reducing the deceased’s body to bone fragments and ashes through intense heat in a high technology cremation chamber. It takes approximately two hours to complete the process at temperatures of approximately 900oC. Cooling takes considerably more time, after which the remaining bone fragments are further crushed to a finer substance. For an average-sized adult there will be two to three kilograms of cremated remains.
Myths abound with regard to costs of funerals. One of them is that cremation is an inexpensive substitute for the traditional funeral and burial. This is not always so. The services provided and the merchandise selected determines the costs. The choice of final disposition does not necessarily have a bearing on the costs (although when comparing disposal methods only, cremation is cheaper than burial).
Inurnment
Inurnment is when created remains are placed in an urn. Normally the cremated remains may be returned to the family within one or two days following cremation. Usually they are placed in an urn that the family has selected previously. The urn may be made of hardwood, metal, marble or a synthetic material.
Following cremation, it is suggested that the family place the urn and its contents in a permanent, respectful place.
Burial of cremated remains
A family may choose to inter the urn in a new grave selected by them. Many cemeteries offer small graves for cremated remains or a family may buy a full-size grave. Another option would be to bury the urn in an existing grave. This will vary from culture to culture and with family preferences. A graveside service with family and friends present when the urn is interred brings finality to the death and helps the grieving process.
Columbarium
Families that choose cremation because they do not like burial may not wish to inter the urn. The above-ground permanent placement of the urn in a columbarium offers an alternative. A columbarium is a structure that houses many urns. Within a columbarium a family may select either a single niche or perhaps a double niche to hold a pair of urns. Many cemeteries, funeral homes and crematoriums have a columbarium. A columbarium may be a simple, freestanding wall located outside that is enhanced with trees, shrubs, flowers and benches. Or it can be located within a building such as a funeral home or crematorium. A columbarium also allows for a permanent memorial plaque to be placed with the name of the deceased on it.
Scattering
Some people may consider scattering the cremated remains, but there are several important issues to consider before this is done. Families have scattered cremated remains and regretted it afterwards. Scattering is permanent and once done cannot be reversed.
Families may decide to scatter ashes on their own private property but in time that decision may make it much more difficult for the family to part with that property. Some families have chosen a favourite place of the deceased’s such as a park, lake, or mountainous area in which to scatter ashes. Some restrictions may apply. There are also no guarantees that the setting chosen will be as beautiful in years to come. Some ashes are scattered in a place in accordance with the wishes of the deceased.
The physical act of scattering may be difficult in that the cremated remains are a coarse material – they are not entirely ashes that can be taken by the wind. Many cemeteries have scattering gardens where permanent records are kept, and a memorial may be erected.
Taking an urn home
Some families decide to keep the urn at home because they feel that as long as they have the urn, the deceased is still with them. Taking an urn home may be a temporary measure until a decision can be made as to its final resting place. It may be more appropriate for the next of kin to make the decision at the time of death instead of leaving that choice for the next generation. There may also be a security concern about the urn if the home was ever broken into or vandalised.
Immediate disposition
Any funeral home will arrange an immediate disposition if requested. Membership in an organisation or society is not required.
Immediate disposition includes transferring the deceased from the place of death, preparing and placing the deceased in a coffin or appropriate container, obtaining the registration of death and burial permit, securing all necessary documentation, providing the Funeral Director’s Statement of Death, and arranging for a coffin and the use of facilities and vehicles. Charges for the transportation to the cemetery and/or crematorium are the responsibility of the family or executor of the estate and will be included in the funeral director’s invoice.
A funeral director’s advice to celebrants
A funeral director who addressed a group of funeral celebrants provided the following practical advice.
Act in a professional and respectful manner.
Fashion the service to truly reflect the deceased person.
Nothing is unusual.
Give the family whatever they want.
Always honour family’s wishes, especially in regard to religious content. Check carefully with the family.
Do not put five verses/readings in a row and not much else. Spread readings throughout the service.
Have quiet periods.
Be practical with the venue (e.g. if venue is outdoors in a park or at the top of a hill, then content should not include something only appropriate for a service held in a chapel).
Think; be practical.
Don’t upsell things like memorial books, coffins, or flowers. Don’t cross boundaries.
Don’t automatically use candles; not always appropriate with families. Talk to families first.
Listen; hear what is coming through.
Provide a transcript of service to the family for the future.
Fees are a disbursement on the funeral director’s account. It is a competitive market place. Communicate costs with all concerned.
Always remember that the families are the most important people.
Pre-arrangements are a very good idea. More and more people are doing this. Encourage people to think about their funerals in advance.
Film segments can be shown in a chapel.
If the deceased was an unpleasant person or died by suicide, honesty about the deceased is absolutely the best policy. However, check with the family first.
Display craft work, or whatever the deceased was good at or known for. Do something that reflects their life. It’s not unusual to have animals present during the service, for example an officer of the RSPCA died, and animals formed a guard of honour at his funeral.
It is a very good idea to have a photographic display of the deceased, especially while food is being served.
Remember, the memory time around a cuppa can be just as important as the service.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Aspects of a traditional funeral service" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Aspects of a Traditional Funeral Service
The traditional funeral service is held in a church or funeral home chapel.
Each funeral is unique – the celebrant works with the family to develop such a service. This might include a eulogy and tributes by family members or friends; special music, songs, poems, or passages from scripture; or special requests previously made by the deceased. When planning the funeral, the family decides whether the service will be public or private. A public service is open to all who wish to attend, allowing friends and acquaintances the opportunity to mourn and express their sympathy.
The traditional funeral can include viewing the deceased. Although viewing should not be forced on families, it can be a healthy step toward the resolution of grief. When death is sudden and unexpected, viewing helps to reinforce the finality. If the person has had a lingering illness, it is often helpful to see that the suffering has ended. The funeral home can provide a quiet, private setting for the viewing. In some cultures it is important for the body to be kept at home for viewings and a family member will stay ‘on guard’ over the body of the deceased. In some cultures the body is never left alone and it is important to touch the body.
The committal is the conclusion of the traditional funeral. It may be conducted at the graveside, crematorium, or in the church/chapel.
A traditional funeral service involves the staff, facilities, and equipment of a funeral home for an average of four to seven days. The staff will transport the deceased from the place of death, file and secure necessary government documents and permits, arrange for desired services, embalm and prepare the deceased if required, provide the coffin and necessary funeral vehicles, and arrange for the flowers, notices in newspapers, and a mourner’s book to be signed as people arrive for the service. They can provide an order of ceremony which can be printed and prepared for the people who attend the funeral, and they will also provide advice on music and can offer refreshments after the funeral service.
NB: a funeral service is one where the deceased’s body is present, housed in a coffin or a casket. A memorial service is one where the deceased’s body is not present; they may have died overseas or interstate and it has not been possible to get the remains home yet; the family may have decided to wait until an important person could be available for the ceremony, and the deceased may have been cremated or buried already; or the family may simply find it too confronting to have the coffin present. A similar order of service would be used for both funerals and memorials, except that the committal is not included in a memorial service, because this is the moment of farewell to the deceased, and if the deceased is not present, it’s not relevant. The celebrant’s role in both ceremonies is the same except for the removal of the committal for a memorial; some celebrants may make themselves available to assist families with making arrangements for memorial ceremonies in circumstances where no funeral director is involved. For the purposes of this content, I’m going to use the word ‘funeral’ to refer to any kind of ceremony of farewell.
NB: a coffin is a container for a body that has six sides; it widens from the head to where the body’s shoulders go, then tapers back in towards the feet. It has a lid that lifts off altogether. A casket is a rectangular container with a hinged lid that is connected on one side. Often the lid is in two parts so just the head and shoulders can be displayed for a viewing. For the purposes of this content, ‘coffin’ will be used across the board to refer to the container the deceased is put in after death.
Coffin Casket
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Funeral celebrancy" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Funeral Celebrancy
Historical context of funeral celebrancy in Australia
After the commencement of the civil marriage celebrancy program in 1973, Dally Messenger, the second civil marriage celebrant to be appointed, began to be asked to perform civil funeral ceremonies. He reluctantly agreed in 1976 after a request to perform the funeral for a woman he had married. That was the beginning of civil funeral celebrancy in Australia (and likely the world).
Over the last 45 years, civil funeral celebrancy has grown to be more popular in Australia, with about 70% of funerals now being delivered by civil funeral celebrants (as opposed to religious ministers), up from approximately 30% in 2000 (according to statistics compiled by the Australian Funeral Directors Association). The Census 2016 showed that approximately 30% of Australians identified as non-religious, whereas in 1966 the Census showed that approximately 3% of Australians identified as non-religious; this reflects the growth in civil funeral celebrancy.
Many of the funerals delivered by civil celebrants are still booked through funeral directors, but there is a growing understanding in the community that there is more choice available and families are beginning to search out their own celebrants through online research.
The role of the funeral celebrant
Funeral celebrants perform a vital role in society. As a funeral celebrant you will need to be aware of the status this role has in your community. Assisting people with the remembrance service for a loved life that has been lost is an especially important honour. The service you deliver to people should not only create the appropriate final moment for the lost one, but will aid the family and friends with their process of grieving. The knowledge you have about funerals, speeches, rituals, ceremony and the grieving process will be of invaluable use to you.
It can be a serious business creating a tribute to a departed loved one and the ceremonies people have to ‘say goodbye’ to their loved ones are significant. There is no registration or authorisation process in place for funeral celebrants, but this in no way should make people assume that the service being provided is not a professional one.
Funeral celebrants are required to present themselves in an exceptionally professional manner. From the moment they have their first contact with a grieving family, right through to while performing the ceremony (even when not actively presenting), the celebrant needs to be ‘in role’ – someone is always watching. If being a celebrant is an unnatural role for a person to perform, the work of funeral celebrancy can become very onerous.
Celebrants must ensure they maintain privacy and confidentiality for all their clients, including for funerals. Although the funeral celebrant will not collect must in the way of personal identifiable information about their clients, it is still imperative that they do not share information with others who do not require access to it for the purposes of conducting the funeral. Any personal information collected in the course of a funeral celebrant’s work should be kept securely (i.e. in a lockable filing cabinet and/or on a password-protected computer) or securely destroyed after it is no longer required.
Sometimes a family will request a private funeral, whereby the details of the date, time, and location are not shared with anyone other than those specifically invited by the family; this can be to avoid certain people attending, and it is crucial that celebrants do not share information about private services with anyone.
A funeral service is the most common way our society has of celebrating the life and mourning the death of a loved one. The service is performed in a setting that suits the memory of the deceased and the needs of those left behind and are grieving. This can at times be sombre and formal, and other times it can be a joyful celebration of a person well loved. The key for the celebrant to remember is to observe and value the wishes of the family and/or friends organising the funeral ahead of their own. Like all ceremonies, a funeral service is a very personal affair.
The funeral celebrant needs to create a well-structured tribute to the deceased. This will be constructed with the help of family and/or friends. The tribute will be just that – a heralding of the life, the experiences, special qualities and achievements of a person who is no longer amongst us. It will provide a lasting memory for people to honour their loved one and can be exceptionally important in the grieving process. It is an enormous responsibility to officiate at a funeral service and the celebrant should take the utmost care in composing the tribute at such a landmark event in the lives of those left behind.
Very often the funeral service will have a non-religious context. People can be very specific about the inclusion and/or exclusion of religious references and the celebrant must be respectful of their needs. The deceased may have given clear instructions about what was wanted at their funeral service. In this way each service will be individual and provide a unique expression of the life energy that once was. The funeral celebrant will create and deliver the service, coordinating the process of people giving tributes and eulogies or participating in other ways, and ensuring the service meets the needs of the family and the coordinating funeral service company.
As a funeral celebrant you will need to develop the skills that will assist in the composition of appropriate services. Another key component of the role is the ability to communicate respectfully with the grieving family/friends and others involved. Developing an empathetic style that supports people and still gets the job done will be the cornerstone to your success as a funeral celebrant. Your knowledge of the funeral industry, the grieving process, the services available to help people cope with grief, and the ability to assist people through the transitional period of mourning, all form part of the work of a funeral celebrant.
The significance of the funeral celebrant in society should never be underestimated. The role requires a person with a range of skills and qualities who can appreciate the significance of assisting a family and friends through an important rite of passage for their loved one. Consider the following list of functions that a celebrant could perform:
listen to the needs of the clients
console grieving family members
liaise with the funeral director
gather information about the deceased from family and friends
advise family and friends on their role, if any, during the funeral ceremony.
plan a suitable funeral ceremony
show sympathy and empathy towards grieving family and friends
provide advice on the typical process a funeral follows
offer recommendations of poems, music and reading to be used in the funeral
follow the instructions and wishes of the family/friends or the deceased
suggest rituals to enhance the ceremonial nature of the funeral
maintain a professional standard of dress
compose the script for the funeral ceremony
be dignified and solemn
manage their own sadness and feelings of grief that may emerge
respect the cultural, religious, social and ethnic values of people
deliver an eloquent and professional funeral ceremony
be punctual with all arrangements.
Due to the vulnerability of the funeral celebrant’s clients, it is crucial that the celebrant operates from a strong ethical and moral standpoint and supports the grieving family and friends through the creation of an appropriate tribute. The funeral celebrant works alongside the funeral company and needs to have a clear understanding of the funeral company’s offering, so that they are clear about their own role and the various roles performed by others.
Working with funeral directors
As a funeral celebrant you will be referred to most of your clients through a funeral director who works for a specific funeral service company. Funeral service companies have very clearly defined codes of conduct and professional ethics, and the celebrants they use will need to appreciate and respect these. The funeral director will establish a working relationship with several celebrants and get to know the style and manner of each. It is the task of the funeral director to match the right celebrant to the grieving family.
Because the funeral celebrant works as a contracted professional of the funeral company, the primary client of the funeral company (the grieving family) becomes the primary client of the funeral celebrant as well. The celebrant needs to establish a good working relationship with funeral director if they want to keep providing funeral ceremonies and this means respecting the role of the funeral director, communicating with them professionally and respectfully, and acknowledging the way in which they want their clients to be treated.
The family who contacts the funeral service company may have very specific requirements for the celebrant. For example, some people might want a male celebrant rather than a female celebrant. Others may want a more mature person or a religious celebrant. These requests will direct the funeral director to contact a specific celebrant who they feel best suits the family’s needs.
Because you may be working with several funeral homes and different funeral directors, it is a good idea to build up a catalogue of the different funeral director and to also take note of the specific requirements the funeral service companies may have. For example, some funeral homes prefer the funeral director to call up the pall bearers, whereas others are quite comfortable for the celebrant to do this.
Establishing working relationships with funeral directors can be difficult; there are a lot of funeral celebrants out there all clamouring for the same work. Being requested to act as celebrant at the funeral of a family member or friend is a good opportunity to establish a relationship with a new funeral director through appropriate and comprehensive communication, and respecting the different roles of the funeral director and the celebrant.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="The client journey: funerals" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]The Client Journey: Funerals
https://vimeo.com/688657276/975bcb21b7
Now that we’ve looked at purpose of a funeral and the role of funeral celebrants, we’re going to put it all into the context of the client journey for working with funeral clients.
NB: In the following pages I’m going to teach you how I (Sarah Aird) manage my client journey with funeral clients that come to me through funeral directors. I’ve provided all the document templates I have designed over the years as part of your package, so you can edit them to fit the way you work. The journey is very similar for clients who come to me directly.
The timeline for a funeral client journey is much, much shorter than any other ceremony; it can be as little as 48 hours or as long as a few weeks, depending on the type of ceremony (memorials can be further away because there will not be a body present) and the requirements of the family. Funeral celebrants really need to be available to drop everything at a moment’s notice to meet with a family if required.
The funeral client journey is fairly standard and won’t change much between celebrants. The major difference I’ve found between the way celebrants work is those who send a script to their client to read, and those who read it to them over the phone, and their timeline for doing so.
Here’s a summary of the steps in my client journey:
Receive enquiry from funeral director; confirm availability. Receive basic information from funeral director. Confirm booking in my booking system and prepare client folder.
Call client to organise funeral planning meeting.
Attend funeral planning meeting with family and/or friends.
Draft and send ceremony script. Collaborate with client to confirm all details and finalise ceremony script.
Create a funeral run sheet for the audio/visual operator.
Attend and present the ceremony.
Invoice the funeral director and check if they have any feedback.
Now let’s look at these steps in more detail.
Receive enquiry from funeral director and confirm availability
https://vimeo.com/691708539/23472f438a
As mentioned, funeral directors have a selection of funeral celebrants they can call on. Funeral directors first meet with the family to plan arrangements for the funeral service and gather information for the death certificate. The funeral director will try to match the experience, personality, and ability of a funeral celebrant to suit the requirements of the grieving family. The funeral director will call the celebrant to confirm availability to conduct a funeral ceremony. If available, the funeral director will provide them with the following basic details:
name of the deceased
date of birth, date of death, and age of deceased
cause of death (if known)
next of kin / contact person and their contact details
venue, date, time for funeral
whether the deceased is being buried (in which case the celebrant will likely be expected at the graveside as well) or cremated
arrangements the family have made for music, slideshow, orders of service and refreshments
special considerations (if relevant).
Once I have all these details, I enter them onto my booking form (when I was completely paper-based) or into Tavé (my customer relationship management software), and create a folder for the ceremony with the checklist stapled on front (when paper-based) and the booking form inside.
You may find it useful to have a stack of booking forms printed so that when the funeral director calls, you can enter the details directly onto the form. This will also ensure you don’t miss asking for any information you will need.
Call client to organise planning meeting
https://vimeo.com/692131412/660cd80de6
The first call to the client is the first opportunity to make a good impression. Remember you’re representing the funeral director, so it’s important the client feels good about the celebrant who has been booked for their loved one’s service. You may find it useful to develop a short script for this first phone call. Mine goes a bit like this:
‘Hi, is this X? My name is Sarah Aird, and I’m a celebrant. Funeral Director Name has asked me to give you a call about Deceased’s funeral service. I’m hoping to make a time for me to come and meet with you, and whoever else you would like to be involved, to plan the funeral.’
I never say ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or use other platitudes; they can be seen as empty and tokenistic by the deceased’s loved ones, particularly as they’ve probably heard the same words a thousand times already.
I always go to the client’s preferred venue for the meeting; it’s usually their home, sometimes the deceased’s home, or occasionally the funeral home, depending on everyone’s location. I always set aside two hours for this meeting; it can take as little as 20 minutes or as long as 2.5 hours, but two hours is a good average.
Before ending the call I tell them I’d like them to think about what music they’d like played during the service, and who would like to speak, and we can think about everything else during the meeting.
Some celebrants send a list of questions they’re going to ask the family beforehand, but I like to build some rapport with the family before jumping into the nitty gritty.
Attend funeral planning meeting
https://vimeo.com/692104297/243518b4bf
I’m happy for as many or as few people to be in attendance as the family wishes. My biggest meeting to date was with about 12 people, a combination of family and friends of the deceased, which sounds like a lot but simply requires good meeting facilitation.
I prefer to hold meetings sitting at a table if possible; it’s easier for me to take notes, and I find it easier to see everyone if we’re sitting around a table. My preference is to sit at the head of the table so I can see everyone easily. The first thing I do when we sit down is write down everyone’s names in my client folder in the order in which we’re sitting; if we’re sitting around a table, I literally draw a circle or a rectangle and write the names around it. I can picture in my head someone’s face and where they were sitting, and if I can’t remember their name, I can look at my diagram.
Understanding different stages of grief can assist you in anticipating the needs of clients. Celebrants must be comfortable with grief and seeing people grieve and break down emotionally. The celebrant needs to be aware of their own issues around death and ensure that they are able to be supportive to the grieving family and their friends. Communicating with people who are in an emotional state requires highly developed communication skills and the ability to empathise. It is not the role of the celebrant to be a grief counsellor; there are specialist agencies for this function, but nonetheless the celebrant will need to understand and cope with the issues of grief.
Gathering information
Just as with weddings, it’s crucial to have a checklist or questionnaire of some kind to help you in collecting the information you will need to write the funeral ceremony.
My funeral booking form has been through many, many iterations, but it now collects all the information I need to write the ceremony, including details on whether or not they’re having a slideshow, what music they’ve chosen, whether they’re having a memorial book for mourners to sign, and where they’re having refreshments after the ceremony. All of those details, although arranged and managed by the funeral director, find their way into my script, so it’s important I get them at this meeting, so I don’t have to go back and ask the family later.
As I stated earlier, I like to build some rapport with my families by asking them relatively simple questions before I dive into the nitty gritty of the deceased’s life. I’ve filled in some of this information already from the info I got from the funeral director, but I always like to confirm those details to ensure everything is correct; sometimes a funeral director has told me a name over the phone and I’ve spelt it incorrectly when writing it down, or they’ve given me a date of birth that’s off by one or two days. It’s crucial to confirm all those details with the family and not just rely on what the funeral director tells you. I start by asking about:
details of the deceased (full name, date of birth, date of death, age). I don’t tend to ask about cause of death at this stage; it often comes up later in the conversation, but it can be too raw to ask about it so early on
contact details of the main contact within the family, including any email address/es they would like me to send the draft ceremony script to
date, time and venue details of all events: ceremony, burial if included, refreshments
information about ancillary items the family will be including, such as order of service booklets, slideshows and music, so I can include them in the ceremony
who would like to speak and what kind of speaking they’d like to do, such as a eulogy (the life story), tributes (memories, anecdotes, impact), readings and poems
special requests about the ceremony design, such as including candle lighting, The Lord’s Prayer, Psalm 23 (sometimes even non-religious families want one or both of those), RSL, Masonic, or other special sub-ceremonies, discussion of items owned by the deceased that will be placed on the coffin or anything else
family details (a limited family tree, from the deceased’s parents down to any grandchildren or great-grandchildren).
Eulogy
There is much value in the celebratory, life-appreciation part of a funeral. It is comforting to those who grieve to know that the person they loved was generally valued. Sometimes it is also helpful for them to impart to the wider circle something of the special nature of a rather private person they knew much better than most and appreciated at a level perhaps not generally recognised. If celebrants are to help people through their grief by setting their clock ticking properly again, an important early step is one which enables them to look back at the life that has ended, and feel good about it.
It is not recommended that eulogies include negative aspects of the deceased’s life unless it is at the express wish of the family. Great care needs to be taken to remain sensitive to the feelings of family and friends.
If the family wants to write and deliver the eulogy themselves, sometimes they ask me for a list of what information they should cover. I have a simplified dot point list of prompts they may like to consider when putting together the eulogy (it’s the same as the items listed below that I would ask them if they wanted me to write the eulogy), and I’m always happy to email that to them.
If they have told me they want me to write and deliver the eulogy, after I’ve covered the above details, I start to ask questions about the life of the deceased:
early family life
place of birth, parents and their occupations, siblings, where they grew up, interests
school life (primary, secondary, tertiary)
friends, incidents, achievements, qualifications, trade or academic
career
workmates, career moves
military service / historical significance
family life: marriage, children, events, grandchildren, great-grandchildren
community service, achievements, beliefs, causes they fought for, political ideals
memorable events in their life
holidays, anniversaries, achievements
pets
hobbies, interests, sports, community involvement
club memberships, positions held
sporting achievements
favourite songs, tunes, prose, poems, prayers
When I’ve heard about the person’s life, if I think I’ve built enough rapport with the family I will say ‘would you like to tell me about the end?’ Some families want to tell you every single detail of the deceased’s illness and their final days/months/weeks. Some families just want to say it was peaceful in the end. I do encourage families to tell me a small amount so that I can put something in the script, because it’s often easier for me to explain how someone died during the funeral rather than the family have to deal with every second person asking ‘what happened?’
The final questions I ask are the more difficult ones for the family to answer:
Give me some words you would use to describe Deceased.
What did Deceased teach you?
If you could say one more thing to Deceased, what would it be?
These are really the questions that give me the most information about what KIND of a person the deceased was. Even if I’m not going to write the eulogy, I ask these questions, because they give me some ideas about the types of wording I might use for the introduction and committal.
It is important to speak with more than one person if possible, to try and understand more about the deceased from different people’s perspectives. This will help your tribute to be more rounded and a more realistic depiction of the deceased. A eulogy should consider the whole person so that it honours the entirety of a person’s life and experience.
A tip is to try not to leave the meeting until you feel you ‘know’ the deceased. Observe if there is anyone present who is not contributing to what you are being told and the information you are writing down. Try and draw them out. They are most likely grieving deeply but are too emotional to speak without encouragement.
It is important to have plenty of spare paper; the spaces in my booking form are never big enough, so I have plenty of pieces of blank paper in my file.
Tributes
It’s so important that there is plenty of time available for family members and/or friends to talk about their loved one during the service; if need be, I will cut down my remarks to allow more time for personal tributes.
Sometimes a family member or friend may feel they want to say something, but don’t think they will be able to speak on the day. I always offer for them to write something for me to read on their behalf; on the day they can even give it a go if they’re feeling strong, and I (or someone else) can be there to jump in if they need rescuing.
Alternatively, someone may feel they have something they want to say to the deceased, but they don’t want to include it in the public ceremony; I always offer that they can write a letter to their loved one if they like, which we will put in the coffin before it is taken away for cremation or burial. I’ve even had grandchildren draw a picture to go with their beloved grandparent.
Readings and poems
Often people will want to speak but not feel they are able to write something themselves. Poems and readings are perfect for such people, and it’s an essential part of a celebrant’s toolkit to have a collection of readings they can suggest. I always check the relationship of the person to the deceased (because a lot of funeral readings are written for a parent, child, grandparent, etc.) and what they are trying to convey (that they will be missed, that they are glad they’re no longer in pain, etc.). Feel free to adapt a reading, for example if it’s written for a mother and the deceased is the grandmother, or for a father and the deceased is the mother, etc.
Knowing a bit about the deceased is also useful in recommending readings; for example, for the son or daughter of a deceased who was a keen gardener, I often recommend My Mother’s [Father’s] Garden, which provides a lovely description of the way a person parents their child through the analogy of nurturing a garden.
Music
It’s also a good idea to have a collection of songs you can recommend to families who are not sure what music to choose. There are obviously thousands of songs that could be chosen for a funeral, but my go-to suggestions for families who are struggling to choose are:
My Way, Frank Sinatra
Time to Say Goodbye, Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman
Air on the G String, Bach
Flower on the Water, John Williamson (for those who like country music)
NB: Music played during a photo slide show will enhance a funeral service, but music should not be played while someone is speaking during the service. Music is distracting. Not all individuals have the same capacity to hear more than one conversation at once, and not everyone can listen to a speaker while music is playing, even when it is only playing quietly in the background.
Venue
It’s really useful to have some familiarity with the venue the funeral will be held in. The family may ask you questions about how ceremonies usually work in the venue, or how long the ceremony can go for in that venue, or they may want to discuss different options with you. It’s useful to know, for example, whether there is a curtain that may be closed around the coffin at the end of the ceremony, or whether there is a catafalque that may be lowered. If you are unfamiliar with a venue when you are booked for a service, feel free to ask the funeral director for some more information or ring the venue directly.
Draft ceremony script and send to family
https://vimeo.com/692127695/53eedf7510
I try to write my funeral scripts as soon as possible after the planning meeting, when everything is as fresh in my mind as possible. I ALWAYS send a script to my families for their review. Inappropriate or incorrect words or phrases can cause tremendous stress to the loved ones, so it is crucial they have the opportunity to review the wording before the ceremony.
Length of the ceremony script
The duration of a funeral service varies, usually depending on the number of speakers. The length of service is important, but I’m not prepared to tell you this long is too long, or this short is too short. I’ve had a ceremony that went for 10 minutes including opening and closing music and a reading, but that was perfect for that family; the deceased lived a very solitary life, nobody knew much about him, and what we put together was all they wanted and all they needed. I’ve had a ceremony that went for two hours and involved 20 speakers and four separate slideshows (with about 10 songs in all), but again it was perfect for that family; the deceased was involved in multiple different communities and representatives from each needed the opportunity to say goodbye.
Sometimes there are time constraints due to the venue (at a crematorium chapel in Melbourne the service may be restricted to just 45 minutes; in Brisbane or Sydney it may be just 30 minutes) and these do need to be adhered to, but if the celebrant feels the family needs more time to honour their loved one, they can talk to the funeral director about suggesting booking a double slot, or moving to a venue without such time restrictions. If the length of a funeral service exceeds the allocated time, the family may be charged additional fees. Celebrants do need to advise families of how long a service is likely to take, and if there are time constraints, they need to let all speakers know that keeping to time is paramount.
The average person speaks at about 140 words per minute. You can use this number and the length of the songs to be included to gauge approximately how long your ceremony script will take to read.
I never, ever, open the floor to speakers who have not been pre-arranged. This is how I was taught and it is an excellent practice. There are two reasons: you might get an awkward silence if nobody wants to say anything, or you might get every man and his dog feeling they need to speak, and you’ll almost definitely run over time. Funeral directors hate it when celebrants open the floor, and it’s widely discouraged within the industry. I always tell families there will be plenty of opportunity over refreshments for people to say what they want.
Sometimes the length of a funeral is out of the celebrant’s control. The celebrant may have no opportunity to meet participants or find out how long their delivery will be, nor the content. Sometimes the celebrant is told a person will ‘just say a line or two’ and they turn up with three pages of written material. Sometimes conflicts amongst family members or extended family and friends of the deceased present a range of difficulties for the celebrant. It is good practice to ask to speak to everyone who will be speaking on the day, and ask them to send their tributes to you so you can time them, but often people haven’t finished preparing until the day, or they decide to speak off the cuff (they’re usually the ones who talk the longest and end up waffling). Again, this is beyond your control; all you can do is ensure you have let the family know that if a service goes for longer than the allocated time, they may be charged extra.
Structuring the ceremony
There is no prescribed format for funeral services, but they do need to be structured in a logical way that will flow well, from the initial welcoming of mourners to the final committal. The wishes of family are paramount. A standard funeral service for a cremation may be as follows.
Mourners gather in the ceremony space; the coffin may already be in place, or it may be carried or wheeled in while the opening music is playing.
Opening music plays. Mourners may be asked to stand as the coffin and/or significant family members enter the ceremony space. Traditionally the deceased is brought in feet first and coffin is turned sideways so that the floral sheaf on top of the coffin can be on display.
Celebrant asks everyone to be seated, and the service begins. I always open with an appropriate quote.
Housekeeping (thank mourners for coming, turn off your phones).
Permission to cry, smile, laugh, and clap during the service. This is a service of celebration and also a chance to start the grieving process.
Candle lighting; sometimes families like to light a single candle in remembrance of the deceased, or several for different features of remembering.
Words of comfort about death and dying. Every celebrant will have a range of explanations of ways death may be viewed. Based on the celebrant’s knowledge of the family and friends they have interviewed, the type of information shared here should suit the audience.
Reading/prayer.
Eulogy (the life story of the deceased) interspersed with tributes (stories of the deceased by those who loved them). If I am delivering the eulogy, I like to scatter the tributes throughout, at the time in the life chronology where the speaker best fits. If it is a work colleague, I have them speak just after I’ve talked about that particular job. If it is a child, I have them speak just after I’ve talked about their birth and childhood. I find this works better than having all the tributes in a clump after the eulogy, as the person’s recollections are then set in the context of how they knew the deceased.
I generally encourage some music to be played for people to have some quiet reflection time. Sometimes candles are lit. Sometimes flowers are available to be placed on the coffin. Sometimes a slideshow of photos is played. Sometimes it’s just the music. Whatever happens, it’s important to give the mourners time and space to reflect on their memories of the deceased.
Final thank you to mourners and a reminder of the invitation to join the family for refreshments.
These are the words we use to say goodbye to the deceased, and they commemorate the act of giving a body (whole or cremated) back to the earth. I am generally speaking directly to the deceased at this point. Mourners are asked to stand for the committal.
Some celebrants end with the committal, but I like to invite the mourners to sit down again, and say some concluding words, which are generally well wishes for those who knew and loved the deceased. The words help the gathering to focus on what they need to look towards. It takes their minds away from what has happened and moves them to an awareness that life must continue.
Closing music is played, and the coffin is committed. This may include the coffin staying where it is while everyone leaves the ceremony space, drawing a curtain around the coffin, lowering the coffin on the catafalque (at a crematorium chapel) or carrying or wheeling the coffin out to the hearse.
For a burial the service is much the same until we reach point 11. It would then be as follows.
Final thank you to mourners and a reminder of the invitation to join the family for the burial, and for refreshments after that.
I would include the concluding words here, the well wishes for those who knew and loved the deceased, as not all mourners will attend the burial.
Closing music is played, and the coffin is carried or wheeled out to the hearse.
The funeral cortege (hearse, followed by family and others in cars) makes its way to the cemetery or graveside.
Once everyone is gathered the coffin will be carried from the hearse and placed on the lowering device over the grave.
I welcome everyone to the new site. Sometimes families like to include a reading at this point.
These are the words we use to say goodbye to the deceased, and they commemorate the act of giving a body (whole or cremated) back to the earth. I am generally speaking directly to the deceased at this point.
Closing music is played as the coffin is lowered into the grave.
The above structure is by no means fixed. There are no rules. Not all sections will be included, and some may be arranged in a different order, or something else may be included. The family will be given options for the flow of the service and decide what they prefer.
All of the information discussed with the family needs to be carefully scripted, and the script needs to be sent to the family for review. Sometimes the family comes back with a LOT of edits, and that can sting, but in the end, it is their ceremony, and it is important they are satisfied with it.
Create a funeral run sheet for the audio/visual operator
https://vimeo.com/691724617/f7d7426905
While I always manage my own music at wedding ceremonies, this is not usually possible at funerals, as the AV may be controlled from a computer or sound system at the back of the room or in an attendant’s booth. I am still the person who is most familiar with the ceremony structure though, so it is important to provide a run sheet to the AV operator, so they know when to play the music and the slideshow.
Some people suggest you provide the entire script to the AV operator, with their cues highlighted, but I’ve spoken to many attendants at crematoriums, all of whom have told me they don’t need that much detail, they just need a simple one-page document that provides them with a structure, and the final few words that will be said before they need to press play on anything.
Attend and present the ceremony
https://vimeo.com/692136493/e3d941202b
Before leaving home
Just as with weddings, funeral celebrants should use a checklist to ensure they’ve packed everything they need and haven’t forgotten anything.
Arriving at the ceremony venue
Upon arrival at the ceremony venue (I like to arrive half an hour before the planned ceremony start time) there are a number of things for the celebrant to do:
Place ceremony script on lectern.
Check in with the funeral director, especially if you haven’t met the person conducting the service that day (sometimes the person who arranges the funeral and books the celebrant is different from the person who conducts the service on the day). If they are operating the AV equipment, discuss your run sheet with them so they know what’s happening during the ceremony. I have always produced a keepsake copy of the ceremony on nice paper, and I give that to the funeral director to be put with the other items for the family.
If the ceremony is being held at a crematorium chapel, check in with the crematorium attendant who is looking after the service; depending on the venue they may also be acting as the AV operator, so you can discuss your run sheet with them.
When the family arrives, greet them warmly and professionally. It may be appropriate to give them a hug depending on the relationship you’ve built with them; you need to play that a bit by ear. Ensure they have everything they need and that they have met the funeral director.
If you have time, assist the funeral director with things like handing out orders of service or asking mourners to sign the memorial book. There is often a lot for the funeral director staff to do, and they will appreciate an extra set of hands.
Liaise with the funeral director about when to start the ceremony.
The ceremony
Once all guests are seated, the AV operator can be cued to start the opening music. If the coffin needs to be carried or wheeled in, the procession can start whenever the funeral director is ready. If the coffin is already in place, generally the funeral director and the celebrant will process down the aisle, acknowledge the coffin by bowing to it, then the funeral director moves to the back of the room and the celebrant to the lectern to start the ceremony.
Deliver the ceremony script professionally with warmth, using effective body language and sincerity.
Ensure that participants are introduced in the order arranged, and that they are named and thanked for their contribution.
I like to sit near the front row when others are speaking or during the slideshow. Some ceremony spaces have the seat for the celebrant behind the lectern, but I don’t find that very suitable; I like to be a supportive face for the person speaking, and I like to watch the slideshow so I can comment if anything jumps out at me. Just move the chair
At the end of the ceremony, I stand to the side while the funeral director approaches the family with instructions. If the coffin is being wheeled or carried out, it will be turned so that the deceased leaves the space feet first. If the coffin is being lowered or a curtain drawn, this happens while the music is playing. After it has been completed, the funeral director will approach the family to invite them to leave the space when they are ready. The rest of the mourners will take their cue from the family and leave after them.
Once the ceremony has finished and the mourners have moved on to refreshments, I pack up my belongings, say goodbye to the family and the funeral director, and leave. I don’t stay around for a cup of tea or food; I don’t see that it’s my place to eat the food that has been purchased for the mourners, and the family has so many people to speak to that I would just get in the way. So I just make sure they’re okay and leave.
Things to remember when presenting the ceremony
Celebrants need to remember that when they are conducting the service it is important to rein in their own feelings. There will be a lot of people around in pain and grief. It’s not the celebrant’s job to match them. It is their job to distance themselves somewhat and be compassionate, yet strong, so that the bereaved can lean on the celebrant and feel free to express their own grief.
The celebrant needs to keep control of the funeral ceremony. In many ways it is like a production, and although it does not need the drama of theatrics, it does need a level of professional performance. Careful planning and management on the part of the celebrant will ensure that the family and friends know what will happen and when it will happen. If this sense of planning is achieved, the celebrant will feel confident about their performance and will be able to handle any unforeseen problems, because they will know what should have happened and can always try to direct things back on track.
Public speaking and presentation techniques can be used to enhance the delivery of a funeral ceremony. Funeral celebrants should use appropriate (not distracting) body language, facial expressions, and presentation techniques. They will generally have access to a microphone so should ensure they use good microphone technique. They should not feel that they need to remain solemn and serious throughout their ceremony presentation; smiling and having a warm countenance is welcome at appropriate moments.
Invoice the funeral director and check if they have any feedback
It’s much easier for funeral families if they only have to pay one bill, so when you are booked by a funeral director it is usual for the celebrant to invoice them, and they will pay you. I always send my invoice the day after the service, and if I didn’t have a chance to speak to them after the service, I like to ask if they had any feedback for me.
I don’t tend to follow up with the families after the service unless they contact me. I definitely don’t think it’s appropriate to ask them for feedback; they’ll tell you or the funeral director if they’re not happy, so if you don’t hear from them or the funeral director you can be pretty sure things went okay.
That’s it! All done and on to the next one!
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Funeral ceremony samples" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" sticky_enabled="0"]Funeral Ceremony Samples
I have provided these samples (along with videos for two of them), so you can see how I set out funeral and memorial ceremonies. Please respect the privacy of those involved if you know any of them, and please respect my intellectual property.
Funeral ceremony 1: Warren, a 71-year-old who died of cancer
Here’s a funeral ceremony of mine from October 2018, filmed at Le Pine Funerals in Croydon. My aunt Ann, Warren’s wife, gladly granted me persmission to provide it for your learning. I have edited out the content of the personal tributes, although you will still be able to see the logistics of people moving to and from the lectern.
https://vimeo.com/508202323/7f04d43898
All guests and family seated
Music: Blackbird, The Beatles
Love alone is capable of uniting people in life and in death, for it is only love that joins us with a tie that lasts for eternity.
Welcome everyone. My name is Sarah Aird. I’m Warren’s niece and a celebrant, and I am honoured to have been invited by my family to conduct this celebration of Warren’s life today, in conjunction with Le Pine Funerals.
After the service you are all invited to join the family for refreshments next door. If you didn’t have a chance to sign the memorial book when you arrived, it will be available to you afterwards. The family have asked for donations to Eastern Palliative Care in lieu of flowers, and there are donation envelopes available in the foyer for your convenience. If you haven’t yet turned off your mobile phone, would you do so now please?
Today is a celebration of Warren’s life, but it is also an opportunity to grieve. It is a time to let go of the emotions you've been holding in since he died. It is a time to set aside the jobs, the responsibilities and the tasks that have taken up every waking hour since he left you. It is a chance for you to think, to reflect, to remember, and to start to heal. Feel free to cry, but also to laugh and smile at your memories of Warren. If it feels right in the moment, feel free to acknowledge our speakers through applause. Any and all of your feelings and reactions to what you will hear today are valid and real, so give yourselves permission to feel your feelings, to have your reactions, to celebrate, and to grieve.
Warren Douglas Scott (Dad to James and David, Uncle Warren to me and my cousins, Wozza to his grandchildren) was born on the 26th of December 1946, Boxing Day, the eldest son of Adye and Doris Scott. Doris was in labour the whole of Christmas Day, and if he had been born that day, he would have been Noel or Noelle if he’d been a girl. Lucky for him (or unlucky, depending on your point of view) he held on another few hours and was Warren instead.
He grew up firstly in Toorak, in half a rented house due to the post-war housing shortage, then in Laburnum in a house built by his carpenter father, and was soon joined by his brother Trevor. He had a wonderful free childhood, roaming the remains of the farms and orchards of Blackburn. There weren’t many houses in Blackburn in those days, and together the neighbourhood boys would roam the streets, only coming home when it got dark. They would often raid the local apple orchards and carry their spoils home in their jumpers for their Mums.
Warren attended Blackburn Primary School and Box Hill High School, or Bokkie High as it was called. While at high school he had several jobs, including a morning paper round, selling the Footy Record at the Box Hill footy ground, and making deliveries for the local chemist on his bicycle after school. He also dabbled in entrepreneurship. There was an old flower farm near his house, and at the right time of year he would pick the daffodils and sell them to visitors at Box Hill Cemetery. On other occasions he would find scrap metal on the street or in the rubbish, and sell it to the scrap metal merchant down the road. So many ideas!
He was a good enough student that at the end of Year 12 he was awarded a Department of Education studentship, which paid for his tuition and a small weekly stipend while he undertook a Bachelor of Commerce at the University of Melbourne, to be followed by a Diploma of Education at Monash University. The idea behind the studentship was to create teachers, so Warren studied typing, economics, geography and geology. He also spent much of his time at Naughtons Pub, as students did in those days. Nevertheless, he completed his Bachelor of Commerce and started his Diploma of Education, but he didn’t manage to finish the latter. Theoretically he should therefore have had to pay back the money provided by the studentship, but through various devious means he managed to get out of that.
He managed to get a cadetship at the Department of Transport, where he spent a year or so before attempting a Masters degree at Melbourne Uni. While studying he drove taxis, and worked in a factory cutting index cards. It was while living in a share house in Carlton during his Masters studies that he met Ann, and there’s quite a story there.
It was March 1969, and Ann was also living in a share house in Carlton, along with a few of her nursing friends. Allegedly nurses were renowned for having the rowdiest parties, and one Saturday night they threw one. Warren was living across the street, and together with his mates paid the entry fee of six longnecks and joined the party. The next day he remembered that he’d asked one of the girls who lived in the house to join him at the movies at the local Carlton cinema known as the Bughouse that night, but he couldn’t entirely remember which one. Nevertheless, at the appointed time he walked across the road and knocked on the door, and Ann answered, ready for her movie date. It was the beginning of an incredible relationship.
The couple dated for several months, but Ann had been planning and saving for two years for a trip to England with her girlfriends. She wasn’t about to put that off just for some bloke who hadn’t even asked her to marry him, so in January 1970 she boarded the ship to England. Approximately three weeks later the ship docked in Cape Town, and waiting for Ann was a telegram from Warren, simply saying, “Will you marry me, seriously?” Naturally she said yes, and he joined her in England in June. Obviously they couldn’t tell their parents they were living together out of wedlock (it definitely wasn’t the done thing in 1970) so on the 12th of December 1970 they were married at the Chelsea Registry Office, with just 12 guests. Let’s hear from Ann about some of her memories of Warren.
Ann speaks
While in England Warren took a casual job at Heller Factors in Surrey, along with a group of young expats who were on working holidays from various Commonwealth countries. Those people became their friendship group, and some of them remain friends to this day. They came home for my parents’ wedding in 1974, and re-established friendships with both of Ann’s brothers and their wives. For a little more on that time in their lives, let’s hear from John, Ann’s brother.
John speaks
My parents are travelling and were sorry to be unable to get home in time to be here today, so they wrote something for me to read on their behalf. This is from Peter, Ann’s brother, and his wife Cathy.
We were very touched when Ann and Warren came home from London for our wedding in 1974. That was when Cathy and Warren discovered they were excellent sparring partners, and over the years that followed they enjoyed many a good robust discussion. Warren was particularly good at winding Cathy up, never more so than in partnership with James. Who could forget the taunting about the failure to flame the Christmas pudding – which has always been Cathy’s pride and joy – one Christmas at Coolibah.
We all have fond memories of holidays at the Aird family beach house at Somers with Ann, Warren and the boys – Warren and the boys out sailing, Warren’s homemade bread he would bring down with him, and the long summer nights enjoying those robust discussions.
His joy in his grandchildren has been a delight to see, and it was wonderful that he saw both boys married last year, and both so happy and settled.
It was lovely that we were able to enjoy lunch with Ann, Warren, Pam and John, just before we left for our holiday, when Warren’s spirits had been the best they had been for a while.
We wish the family all the best at this difficult time, and look forward to catching up when we get back.
In 1975 Warren was invited to join the management-training program at the head office of Heller Factors in Chicago, and they lived there for a year before returning to Australia. In November 1975 they made their way home, landing in Sydney with a plan to come back to Melbourne, but first they stopped in, wearing their backpacks, to see Gary, the boss at the Heller Factors office in Sydney. He immediately offered Warren a job in Sydney, so they lived there until June 1976. They bought a house in Leichhardt, and a week after moving in and stripping all the wallpaper off the walls, Warren was offered a management role in the Melbourne office. Ann was six months pregnant with James at this point, so moving home to Melbourne was a pretty attractive prospect. Six weeks after moving into their new home, they moved right back out again, and headed home to Melbourne. They rented a home in Balwyn, which is where they were living when James was born at the end of August 1976, and then they bought their home in Ringwood, moving there in 1978. David was born in December 1978 and their family was complete. We’ll now hear from David about his memories of his dad.
David speaks
Warren managed the Melbourne office of Heller Factors for about 10 years, after which he had several attempts at working for himself, none of which were particularly successful. In 1989 he went to work for MSS Alarms as the Victorian State Manager for a year before moving to the Records Management division as a sales rep. During this time the family moved to the cottage on Ann’s parents’ property at Wonga Park while they built their perfect home, which they moved into in 1992.
After a few years with MSS Warren moved to Pickfords Records Management, where he saw out the rest of his career as a sales manager. This role suited him quite well indeed; he wasn’t much of a salesy type of guy, but he was able to build a great rapport with his corporate records management clients. He retired in 2007, and never had another haircut; his excuse was that now he was retired he couldn’t possibly afford it. Isla, David’s wife, has a very clear recollection of the first time she saw Warren with his ponytail; it could never be unseen.
During his time at Pickfords another huge milestone occurred in the Scott family; James’ first two children were born, the first grandchildren in our family. Jack came along in 2003 and Ana in 2006, and Warren became Wozza, a role he absolutely delighted in. His third grandchild, Angus, was born in 2016, and there are two more on the way. I would like to invite Jack and Ana to share some of their memories of Wozza with us.
Jack and Ana speak
Retirement was good to Warren. Work had always been stressful, and he loved the freedom of doing his own thing. His many hobbies over the years have included picture framing, bookbinding, lead lighting, French polishing, bread making, beer making, fruit and vegie growing, papermaking, metal turning, and mud brick making. He built a shed. When I asked Aunty Ann what he would do in the shed, she shrugged and said, “shedding of course”. It was secret men’s business.
The shed contained two insulated rooms; in one room was a metal lathe that had to be kept at a certain temperature so as not to rust, and in the other room was his collection of half-finished model boats. He enjoyed the process of building the boats from kits or from scratch much more than he enjoyed a finished product, so half-finished they remained. He never said no to a trip to Bunnings, purchasing every kind of tool under the sun, because you never knew when you might need something; he was an exceptionally useful handyman to have around, and he always knew exactly what needed to be done to fix something.
He downloaded pretty much the entire internet, certainly more music, videos, documents and podcasts than he could possibly ever consume, but he wanted to know that if he ever needed something, he’d be able to find it there on his hard drive (because, you know, it might disappear from the internet). Above all else, he was a collector; he never threw anything away, because you never know when you might need something, even if it did take 20 years.
Warren was certainly eccentric in ways other than his collecting habits. He was determined to never go with the flow, and not only didn’t want to do what everyone else did, but actively rallied against things that everyone else did. He would never go out for coffee, because that’s what other people did. He never owned a mobile phone until it was necessary for emergencies, because that’s what other people did. He refused to have an iPad, because it was an Apple product and that’s what other people bought, opting instead for a Sony Xperia, which promptly broke down after a couple of years. He would never go to the movies, because that’s what other people did. He quite deliberately went against the tide, and delighted in being different, but always had good reasons for his decisions.
In March 2014 Warren was diagnosed with bowel cancer. He had multiple surgeries and rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, but nothing could stop the onslaught. He never complained; ‘What’s the point?’ he’d say. He was well enough to see both his sons married, David to Isla in August 2017, and James to Meg in October the same year, and he was thrilled that both couples are expecting babies: James and Meg a baby girl in a few weeks, and David and Isla a boy in March; he had hoped to be around to see both of these two grandchildren. He stopped all treatment at the end of May this year, deciding knowing the end was coming was better than dealing with the side effects of the chemo. In the middle of September his health deteriorated rapidly, and on Thursday the 27th of September he died peacefully in his bed, surrounded by his family. Many people die in the middle of the night, but in typical Warren fashion, he did the exact opposite of what other people do, and died in the middle of the day.
Warren was a stubborn, beardy dreamer. He was an excellent strategist. He loved planning things; executing them, not so much. He was exceptionally intelligent; my abiding memories of Uncle Warren are from holidays at the family holiday house in Somers, of him and my mum arguing about what was happening in the day’s news. He loved a good banter with anyone with whom he could disagree. He was very ambitious. Above all, he was Ann’s husband and friend, James and David’s dad, and Jack, Ana and Angus’ Wozza. He loved his family, and they will sorely miss him.
This is the time that we call reflection and it is just that, a time to reflect and remember. Warren had an extensive and eclectic music collection, and we're going to play one of his many favourite songs. As the music fills the room allow your love and memories of Warren to fill your hearts and minds. Remember him and think of him, as you always will, with love.
Photo slideshow
Music: Streets of London, Ralph McTell
On behalf of Warren’s family, I would like to thank you all most sincerely, not only for coming today, but also for your words of comfort, your acts of support and your expressions of love. Please remember the family’s very genuine invitation to join them for refreshments (which by the way includes his favourite chocolate Teddy Bear Biscuits) and allow them the opportunity to thank you personally.
Please stand for the words of committal.
Warren, rest now at the end of your days; your work is done and you now live in the hearts and the minds of all who love you.
Your family and your friends have shared with you the happy times and the sad times. And they will miss you. They will miss the sound of your voice and your laughter. They will miss your hugs and the delight in your eyes whenever you looked upon them.
For as long as they have memory, they will think of you. For as long as they have a voice, they will speak of you. As long as they have a heart to feel, they will love you and remember you. No one can speak with your voice, say your piece, smile your smile, or shine your light. No one can take your place, for it is yours alone to fill.
Warren, we now commit your body to the never ending, ever-changing cycle of life and death. Take with you the love of everyone who knows you.
May you rest in harmony, in tranquillity and in peace.
Please be seated.
It is worth remembering that sadness comes out of caring, out of loving someone. Sadness then is a measure of love and therefore, in its way, a kind of privilege. Even as you are sad at the loss of Warren, surround each other with love and comfort as you go into the world, glad that you have loved, free to weep for the one you have lost, free to hold each other in human frailty, and willing to live life to the full.
Music: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, Eric Idle
Funeral ceremony 2 (simulated): Peter, a 60-year-old who died of a heart attack
This simulated funeral ceremony was created and performed as part of the Silver Celebrants Funeral Training course I undertook in June 2019; I’m a firm believer that we never know it all and can always learn something!
This ceremony is structured a bit differently from how I usually do things, with all the tributes clumped together following the eulogy. That’s how we were required to do it for the course, and I was happy to comply.
https://vimeo.com/438032598/16cda2a405
Coffin in situ
All family and guests seated
Music: In My Life, The Beatles
When the hands of time stand still and the last breath has been taken, there is an emptiness that cannot be described. No one can ever fill that space, but memories of time spent together will bring comfort. Today is about coming together, sharing memories, and supporting Peter’s family.
On behalf of those who loved him, welcome to the farewell service for Peter James Power. My name is Sarah Aird and I am honoured to conduct this celebration of life today, in conjunction with Roger and the team at Chestnut Funerals.
If you haven’t yet done so, please check your mobile phone is off or on silent; it can be hard to remember to do so when there is so much going on, and when you’re seeing people you haven’t seen for a while.
~ ~ ~
Peter, known as Petey, Powers, or simply Pete, was a patient, hardworking, honest man. He was quiet and reserved when you first met him, but once he warmed up to you, he was all laughter and smiles. And oh, did he love to laugh; his laughter came all the way from his belly. He always tried to do the right thing by everyone, and he was an incredibly supportive husband and loving grandfather. He didn’t like being the centre of attention and never wanted a fuss to be made, however he will have to make an exception just this once, as today we’re here to both celebrate and mourn this much-loved man.
~ ~ ~
During this ceremony, and in the time to come, you may find your sadness sitting alongside immense feelings of appreciation and gratitude for having known Pete. When death comes suddenly and in such a tragic way the loss can feel overwhelming. It will take time for the numbness and pain to pass and to feel peace settling in your hearts once more.
There will be times of questioning. Why Pete? Why now? Everyone’s grief is unique and each of you will find your own way to find peace again in your lives. It is important to be gentle and compassionate with yourselves, to know that whatever emotions or feelings arise, they stem from your love of Pete. Feel free to cry, but also to laugh and smile at your memories of Pete. Any and all of your feelings and reactions to what you will hear today are real and valid, so give yourselves permission to feel your feelings, to have your reactions, to celebrate Pete, as well as to grieve.
~ ~ ~
As we can see from the gathering in this room today, there were many people who loved Pete. Jenny, you had 10 amazing years with him; you may feel disappointed that you couldn’t have longer together, but hold close your memories of the life you had with him. Rory and Steve, you reconnected with your dad after many years apart; remember the joy it brought to him to have you back in his life. Brandon, your Granddad was so glad to have you in his life and to be able to give you some of the experiences he couldn’t give his own sons; you will be able to remember all the times you spent at the beach with Granddad. Jordan, when you came into his life with Jenny, Pete didn’t see you as a step-son but as a mate, and he was delighted to be able to talk about technology with you.
Alex and Ross, Pete was the piggy in the middle of you three brothers, and you will always be able to bring to mind the special bond you had with your brother. Joy, Pete was more like a brother than a cousin to you, and although you’re finding his death exceptionally hard to come to terms with now, you will always remember the unique place he held in your life. John, the line between family and friends is often blurred, and you probably knew your friend of 50 years better than almost anyone in this room; you can always take comfort in knowing how much he valued your ongoing friendship.
Pete had an impact on so many people, and there is no doubt that each and every one of you in this room has individual memories of him that you will treasure in the days, weeks and even years to come.
~ ~ ~
How did those memories of Pete come to be? Let’s take a look back at his life so we can see where you all fit within his journey, and where your memories came from.
Pete was born in Melbourne on the 25th of April 1959, the second of three children to Patricia and Anzac, known as Ted. Along with his two brothers, Alex and Ross, Pete grew up in Brighton and attended Christian Brothers’ College. We’ll hear more about that time in his life from his lifelong friend, John, whom he met at school.
While he was a clever student, Pete didn’t enjoy the religious aspect to the education provided by CBC, and he left at year 11, although he was to complete his VCE later in life. He had a number of jobs over the next few years, including operating theatre technician at The Alfred, hospital and commercial cleaner, and machinist.
He married Julie in 1982, and they lived in Dandenong, where Rory was born in 1984 and Steve in 1986. Unfortunately, the marriage was not successful, and Julie left with the kids in the early 90s, taking them back to her hometown of Adelaide. Pete fought hard to maintain contact with his sons, but Julie made it extremely difficult for him, and he sank into depression. Living in a share house in Dandenong with only his computer for company, Pete built an online community that helped to keep him sane, and when he was ready to go back to work, he moved into the world of information technology.
He became an expert in open source software and mobile technology, working for such companies as TechData before branching out on his own with his dear friend Ian, creating the company ODC (Odyssey). IT was Pete’s passion, and although ODC folded when Ian died, Pete continued to freelance for various companies; he had five screens on his desk and was rarely away from his computer.
In 2006, at Pete’s mum Pat’s 90th birthday party, he reconnected with his sons Rory and Steve. They had been out of touch for 12 years, so it took some time for them all to warm up to each other again, but Pete was just glad to have any opportunity to speak to his boys again. The past few years have seen Pete become especially close to Rory, who now lives in Melbourne, while Steve remained in Adelaide, where Pete was able to visit him on a regular basis. Pete was delighted to become Granddad to Rory’s son Brandon; he was able to spend the time with him he couldn’t with his own sons, and he loved taking him to the beach and going fishing.
Being such an incredible geek, it wasn’t strange that he would turn to the internet when he decided to look for a new partner. He met Jenny online in 2009, and for him it was love at first sight. He asked her to marry him five days after their first date, but Jenny was determined she was never getting married again, so turned him down. He persisted though, eventually wearing her down, and they were married later the same year.
Their relationship was full of love and laughter, as well as tech geekery; their Gold Class style lounge chairs are top of the range, with USB charging ports included in the arms. Jenny’s son Jordan also clicked with Pete, and they became mates, swapping tech tips and music suggestions.
Pete was an extremely loving and supportive husband to Jenny, working closely with her on her charitable foundation, the Ida Elizabeth Foundation. He was a board member and helped her with the technology aspects of running a charity, and the family has asked that anyone who would like to show their support for Pete make a donation to the Foundation in his name.
Apart from his love of technology, Pete also had a number of other interests in his life, including music and travel. He and Jenny loved to go on cruises together; it was the perfect opportunity to disconnect from their regular lives and just enjoy their time with each other. Everywhere they went, Pete would buy a t-shirt as a souvenir, and he had almost as many band and album t-shirts; the house is full of them!
Pete was exceptionally health-conscious, riding his bike at every opportunity, and it was on one of his daily after-work rides that he collapsed, suffering a massive heart attack. A bystander rushed to his aid, performing CPR until the ambulance arrived, but it was too late; Pete couldn’t be saved. He died six weeks after his family had gathered to celebrate his 60th birthday; they will always wonder what could have been.
~ ~ ~
Pete’s life may have come to a sudden and untimely end, but as you can hear from the following words by Victor Frankel, that may not be the end of the story.
Do not judge a biography by its length,Nor by the number of pages in it.Judge it by the richness of its contentsSometimes those unfinished are among the most poignant.
Do not judge a song by its durationNor by the number of its notesJudge it by the way it touches and lifts the soulSometimes those unfinished are among the most beautiful.
And when something has enriched your lifeAnd when its melody lingers on in your heartIs it unfinished?Or is it endless?
~ ~ ~
You have heard about the details of Pete’s life, but there are people in this room who are going to tell us about the inner workings of his heart and mind; let’s hear first from Pete’s best friend, John, who will tell us more about Pete’s early life, and share some of his memories with us.
John speaks
Thank you, John. We’re now going to hear from Pete’s eldest son, Rory, who will share his memories of his dad with us.
Rory speaks
Thank you, Rory. Finally, we’re going to hear from Jenny’s son Jordan, who is going to speak on behalf of his mother.
Jordan speaks
Thank you, Jordan. It is clear from everything we’ve heard today just how special Pete was; he will be sorely missed by all who loved him.
~ ~ ~
We’ve heard lots of words today, and now we are now going to take some time to remember Pete’s life through pictures. Photos can take us right back to a moment in time, and they may evoke treasured memories in your mind. The Eagles were one of Pete’s favourite bands, and you may find comfort in imagining the words of this song coming directly from him.
Visual memories
Music: It’s Your World Now, Eagles
What an incredible set of memories. Thank you to Pete’s cousin Joy for taking the time to put together those wonderful images; hopefully you found it a healing experience.
~ ~ ~
As Naomi Hunter said in one of Pete’s favourite videogames, Metal Gear Solid, “You mustn't allow yourself to be chained to fate, to be ruled by your genes. Human beings can choose the kind of life they want to live. What's important is that you choose life, and then live.” Although Pete experienced some periods of hardship throughout his life, he always managed to pull himself out of them by choosing life and working hard to live it. Pete taught his sons that if you work hard enough, you can succeed at anything; that sounds like an excellent legacy to leave behind.
~ ~ ~
It is now time to make our final farewell to Pete. This moment will be one of the hardest you will face, so hold in your mind his lovely smile and the warmth in his heart, as these will bring you comfort. Please stand for the words of final farewell.
Committal music at half volume: Cavatina
Peter James Power, tenderly and reverently we give your body to the never ending, ever changing cycle of life and death. We give thanks for your presence in this world, and for the love you shared with those closest to you. With the greatest love and respect, we bid you a sad farewell.
Committal music lifts to full volume, wait 10 seconds, curtain is closed
~ ~ ~
Please take your seats.
On behalf of Pete’s family, I would like to thank you once again, not only for your presence here today, but also for your acts of support, your expressions of love, and your words of kindness. Please remember their very genuine invitation to join them for refreshments where you will be able to share your memories of Pete with his family and each other. As you all know, Pete was a huge coffee snob, splashing out on the most expensive coffee machine available. Today you’ll have to settle for coffee that Pete probably wouldn’t have been impressed with, but next time you’re ordering an espresso from your favourite café, please think of him, and perhaps imagine him sitting in one of the empty chairs; having loved live theatre, we’ll be leaving to one of Pete’s favourite songs from Les Misérables.
It is worth remembering that sadness comes out of caring, out of loving someone. Sadness then is a measure of love, and therefore, in its way, a kind of privilege. Be grateful for the time you spent with Pete, for the lessons he taught you. Recall the impact he had on you and all the people in this room. Hold on tight to your memories, keep talking about him and saying his name, and most importantly, remember him with love as long as you live.
Music: Empty Chairs at Empty Tables, Les Misérables
Family and guests leave chapel
Funeral ceremony 3: Andrew, a 21-year-old who took his own life
I have provided this script for you (de-identified, without personal tribute speeches) because suicide funerals are exceptionally difficult, and it’s worth having some ideas you can work with.
This ceremony is again structured differently from my usual ceremonies; my usual plan of dotting the personal tributes throughout the eulogy at the time they’re most appropriate in the chronology of the person’s life simply wasn’t going to work for this one, so I clumped them all together after the eulogy was finished.
This was a memorial service with no coffin present, so there is no committal wording. All names have been changed.
There are some notes throughout the ceremony to explain to you why I made certain choices or ceremony inclusions.
Pre-ceremony music: Etude in E major, Op. 10, Chopin; The Lass of Patie’s Mill; Enigma Variations, Op. 36, Nimrod, Elgar; Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini in A Minor, Op. 43, Rachmaninov; Impromptu, Yirum
All guests and family seated
Music: Piano Sonata No. 14 in C# minor, Op. 27, No. 2, ‘Moonlight Sonata’, Beethoven
If you love something, love it completely, cherish it, say it, but most importantly, show it. Life is finite and fragile and just because something is there one day, it might not be the next. Never take that for granted. Say what you need to say, then say a little more. Say too much. Show too much. Love too much. Everything is temporary but love. Love outlives us all.
Welcome everyone. My name is Sarah Aird and I am honoured to be the celebrant invited by Andrew’s family to conduct this commemoration of his life today.
After the service you are all invited to join the family for refreshments. If you didn’t have a chance to sign the memorial book when you arrived, it will be available to you afterwards. If you haven’t yet turned off your mobile phone, would you do so now please?
Today is a celebration of Andrew’s life, but it is also an opportunity to grieve. It is a time to let go of the emotions you've been holding in since he died. It is a time to set aside the jobs, the responsibilities and the tasks that have taken up every waking hour since he left you. It is a chance for you to think, to reflect, to remember, and to start to heal. Feel free to cry, but also to laugh and smile at your memories of Andrew. Any and all of your feelings and reactions to what you will hear today are valid and real, so give yourselves permission to feel your feelings, to have your reactions, to celebrate, and to grieve.
As you all know, Andrew took his own life. Although his family and closest friends were aware of how much pain he was in, many of you were not. Try as you might to understand his decision, it is almost beyond understanding, and yet you must come to accept that he is gone. Some of you may be asking yourselves, ‘how did I fail him?’ ‘what more could I have done to help him?’ But you didn’t fail him, and you could not have done any more. Andrew made a conscious decision to end his life. He made the decision, and it was one he had been contemplating for a long time. No one else is to blame. It was his choice, and just as you respected his choices in life, so you will respect his choices in death. Let us reflect on Andrew’s life, and remember the sensitive soul he was.
Honestly, now I likely wouldn’t include the sentence about respecting his choice in death, but it seemed to fit for this particular situation
Andrew Full Name, known as Andrew, was born on the 12th of September 1994 in Mitcham, the younger son of Liam and Carly, and little brother of Rowan. The family lived in East Doncaster, and Andrew attended [Primary School]. He was an excellent student, and many of his sporting pursuits started during this time. We’ll talk about those more a little later. It was while at primary school that he met three boys who were to become his best friends: Jason, Billy and Lewis.
Andrew went to [Secondary School] for secondary school, and the family moved to their Warrandyte home while he was in Year 7. He again excelled academically at [Secondary School], taking mostly science and maths subjects for his VCE; English didn’t come naturally to him, but he was determined to succeed at it and worked hard until he did. He attained an exceptionally impressive ATAR score. He also continued with his sporting pursuits during high school, and I think it’s now time we heard about those. There were many…
He was speed skating with his family from about the age of two, and eventually got so good that he represented Victoria. He started playing basketball in about Grade 2 and continued right through until he was about 19. He was a great team player, less concerned about scoring the points himself than about ensuring his teammates were well supported. Although if you played him one on one, that concern for others went out the window; it was ALL about scoring ALL the points himself.
He played cricket and volleyball, ran cross country, took up boxing to build his self-confidence, and participated in swimming and gymnastics. Liam started taking him to the gym after school when he was about 13, and he took to that just as quickly as he took to everything else he had a go at. Jason remembers one time when they were about 14, and Andrew suggested he try and lift the weight he’d just been using. Jason couldn’t lift it even one inch, but to Andrew it was almost easy.
The family were lucky enough to go on many varied family holidays over the years, to everywhere from Anglesea and Port Fairy to Vanuatu and Thailand to the US several times. Their US trips included New York (where a then 16-year-old Andrew was determined to go for a run around Central Park at midnight and couldn’t possibly understand why his parents wouldn’t let him), Washington, camping through the Southwest region, both Disneyland and Disneyworld, and dude ranching in Colorado, where they finally found something that Andrew was NOT good at: horse riding (he was far too concerned about being kind to the horse to really get the hang of it). Andrew also enjoyed skiing trips to New Zealand and Japan, Scuba diving trips to Osprey Reef off Cairns, and ship wreck diving in Vanuatu. They loved travelling together and had many epic adventures on their travels.
Like many young children, Andrew had started learning the piano when he started school, but by the time he got to Grade 2 he really wasn’t enjoying it anymore and gave it up. When he was in Year 11, he announced one night that he’d signed up for a music elective; Marissa is going to tell us a bit more about this later.
For his 18th birthday, Andrew asked for a camera, and photography became a new passion after high school finished. He loved spending time setting up a scene so that it was just perfect before taking the shot, and he was a talented and creative photographer. His preference was to photograph nudes, but probably unsurprisingly he had some trouble finding too many people to model for him. So instead he photographed whatever caught his eye.
In the second half of 2017, Andrew and Lewis suddenly decided to drop everything and take off to Europe, and with two weeks’ notice they did just that. They had an incredible adventure for almost five months, ticking things off the bucket list, eating incredible food, and discovering music. Lewis had played the guitar for many years, and Andrew had fiddled with it once or twice, but while in Europe they listened to a lot of Led Zeppelin, and Andrew decided he needed to learn how to play properly. So he did. He went from barely having touched a guitar to coming home a few months later owning two of them. Again, he excelled at it; he would go into music shops and play a guitar, and random people would tell him how good he was. He would start playing a riff and Liam would ask him who it was by, and he would say it had just popped into his head.
Andrew was talented, handsome, polite, caring, and energetic. He was empathetic, always the mediator, always trying to help others, always looking out for the person sitting on their own. He had a quirky sense of humour, enjoying TV shows such as The Office (the original UK version, of course), Monty Python and Fawlty Towers. He simply wasn’t like anyone else, and everyone loved him.
The Andrew I have just talked about is the Andrew most of you knew, the way you saw him: talented, creative, handsome, happy. Unfortunately, Andrew didn’t know or see himself the same way.
Bullied at school from a young age, but unwilling to talk about it for fear of burdening those around him, Andrew was sad. Deeply, deeply sad. When he went to Melbourne Uni in 2015 to study science, with a plan of becoming a biologist, he lived on campus at St Hilda’s College. He found it difficult to fit in, and figured the easiest way to make friends would be to drink as much as everyone else did, and take part in all the social activities on offer. None of that was particularly conducive to study, and he dropped out at the end of his first year.
He started working at TGI Friday’s in Doncaster in 2016, where he quickly moved up the ranks to become a bartender. As with everything, he excelled at his work there. The bosses were so impressed with his work ethic, knowledge and efficiency that he was awarded a coveted Hammer Pin in his first month. Everyone was amazed; no one they’d known had ever gotten one of those. But he simply wasn’t happy, and he was drinking heavily to deal with the pain. It was about August 2016 when his family worked out that something wasn’t right, and they started searching for some help for him. In February 2017 he was hospitalised for the first time, and after three weeks he came out sober and happier than he’d been for a long time. Later that year there was the epic Europe trip with Lewis, and although he started drinking again while away, it was only for pleasure and perfectly responsible.
At the start of 2021 Andrew decided he wanted to be a photographer, and found a university course that was due to start in semester 2. He whiled away the months before then playing music, going to the gym for hours every day, and hanging out with his friends and playing with his new puppy Zep, but in May the school announced they would not be running the course. That’s when everything went downhill again. He couldn’t see a future for himself, and he started self-medicating again with marijuana and alcohol.
In August Carly and Liam left for a long-planned trip to Europe. They ummed and ahhed about whether or not to go, but Andrew was determined that they should enjoy their holiday and not worry about him. It was while they were at Singapore Airport waiting to board their flight for the second leg of their trip that the extremely dark text messages from Andrew started coming. Andrew was the hospitalised but broke out and attempted to take his life for the first time. Andrew’s Aunt Marissa was an enormous help to Andrew during this time. Carly and Liam will always be grateful for the care and love that she gave Andrew before they could get home from Europe.
After Liam and Carly arrived back from Europe, they found that Andrew was positive and talking openly about the future and the past. Carly and Andrew went and bought him clothes for the look he wanted to convey. Liam and Andrew checked out electric pianos to purchase so they could set up a studio at home.
Liam took Andrew to Anglesea for five days, along with his much-loved dog, Zep, and then to New Zealand to take photos. He was trying to show Andrew that life was worth living, that there were reasons to go on, that things could get better. But it wasn’t enough. Hospitalised again in New Zealand, Andrew tried hard to make plans, to recognise the good things about himself, and to see that there was indeed a bright future in store. But it still wasn’t enough, and he made the decision to take his own life, a decision he had been considering for a long time. He died on the 28th of October, leaving a huge hole in the lives of his family and friends. Shortly we will hear tributes from those closest to him, but first, a song.
Reflection: Somewhere, Barbra Streisand with Josh Groban
I would like to introduce Marissa, Andrew’s aunt, to tell you about her memories of Andrew.
Marissa speaks
Thank you.
The rest of the friends and family members who wrote tributes for Andrew didn’t feel strong enough to read them themselves, so I read them on their behalf. There were tributes from his three best friends and his parents
While suicide is almost never the answer, while there are almost always other options, in Andrew’s case it seemed almost inevitable. He was in such deep pain, suffering so much, and nothing anyone did seemed to make a difference. He was surrounded by a loving family who sought help from the best doctors and hospitals they could find, but even Andrew’s psychologist and psychiatrist were somewhat stumped as to how to help him. He was surrounded by an incredible group of mates, and although he knew they were there for him if he ever wanted or needed to talk, just as importantly they provided him with a chance to escape his demons; the time he spent with the boys was time he could just be Andrew and not have to think about his problems. His family, although grieving his loss terribly, are relieved that he is no longer in such tremendous pain.
During the past few months, Andrew had started to write poetry, and his family have asked his uncle, Alistair, to share one of them with you. I think it provides a good indication of his state of mind in recent times. It’s called ‘Ace up my Sleeve’.
Ace up my Sleeve
Living day by dayBarely scraping byStuck in my routineStuck in all my liesHow long can I last forI need some space to breatheDeath becomes my saviourA hidden ace up my sleeveMaybe not todayMaybe not tomorrowBut one day coming soonI’ll put an end to all this sorrowI know it doesn’t solve anythingAnd you probably can’t relateBut it’s still a comforting thoughtOne last great escapeI hope I’ll never need itI hope the right cards come outBut it’s out of my controlThe cards that I get dealtSo I keep pushing on for nowBags packed to leaveOne day at a timeWith my ace up my sleeveWhen your life seems too far goneThe night is darkest just before the dawnAll of your love has been wastedAnd all of your strength has been takenLook back and see only regretsLook forward and see nothing but deathNo point wasting time to grieveWhen I can make death the ace up my sleeve
It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room after this poem was read. It gave a real, tangible understanding of Andrew’s frame of mind, and it was very distressing for many in attendance. But that’s almost why I encouraged the family to include it; I wanted people to know he hadn’t made a split-second decision, he’d been feeling this way for a while, and it was unlikely there was anything anybody could have done to prevent what happened
We are currently experiencing an epidemic of male suicide in this country, with three times as many men as women dying by their own hand. Although there wasn’t the right support to save Andrew, please, all of you, know that there is support available for you. Beyond Blue is an excellent place to start if you don’t know where to turn. Please ask for help if you need it; you won’t be a burden, you won’t be too much trouble, you will simply be loved.
I thought it was important to speak about the help that is available for anyone in attendance who was struggling with their own mental health, which is why I included the preceding paragraph
This is the time that we call reflection and it is just that, a time to reflect and remember. As you’ve heard, Andrew loved Beethoven, and he asked several weeks ago that this next piece be played at his funeral. As the music fills the room allow your love and memories of Andrew to fill your hearts and minds. Remember him and think of him, as you always will, with love.
Photo slideshow
Music: Symphony No. 7 in A major, Op. 92: II. Allegretto, Beethoven
On behalf of Andrew’s family, I would like to thank you all most sincerely, not only for coming today, but also for your words of comfort, your acts of support and your expressions of love. Please remember the family’s very genuine invitation to join them for refreshments and allow them the opportunity to thank you personally.
It is worth remembering that sadness comes out of caring, out of loving someone. Sadness then is a measure of love and therefore, in its way, a kind of privilege. Be glad you felt the pressure of his hand, the warmth of his hugs; remember his beautiful smile, his laughter, and his kindness. Be glad for all the joys and happiness that Andrew experienced. Be glad for what he gave you and taught you. Tenderly and reverently, bid him farewell.
Music: Run, Liana Lewis
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label="Further reading" _builder_version="4.17.3" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}"]Further Reading
The following links are to articles on the Celebrant Institute blog; you will need to be a Celebrant Institute member to access them.
Getting your start in funerals
Tips for a first-time funeral celebrant
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### Certificate IV in Celebrancy
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Certificate 4 in Celebrancy
Certificate IV in Celebrancy CHC41015 is a nationally accredited celebrant course offered by The Celebrant Institute RTO 22417 that is required for people looking to become an authorised marriage celebrant in Australia.
What are you looking for in your celebrant training? Are you looking for the best celebrancy course in Australia, a course that will provide you with professional and relevant celebrancy training, education and ongoing support? Look no further, for this is what The Celebrant Institute offers you.
Wedding Celebrant Course
With over 71% of Certificate IV in Celebrancy graduates feeling unprepared for their work as marriage celebrants, we have designed a course that tackles that problem head-on. Our wedding celebrant students will graduate with the confidence needed to stand in front of weddings and absolutely rock at what they do, while also being prepared to address the legal structures and requirements of becoming and being a Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrant.
As one of my valued students, you will receive support, information and inspiration all the way through. Our students always have direct access to us through email and phone. We're all working celebrants and may not always be available to chat or answer an email straight away, but we'll always get back to you.
I will continue to support you after your studies when you are facing the challenges of creating best practice ceremonies in the real world. You will be able to stay in touch with the other students you meet through the course. You will be encouraged to attend ceremonies (observing appropriate protocols), learn from your colleagues, and enrich each other by sharing experiences.
Your trainer
Your main trainer is me, Sarah Aird, CEO of The Celebrant Institute RTO, and I am widely regarded as the best celebrancy trainer in Australia. I have also commissioned videos from other celebrants and content experts around the country, with their tips and tricks for different aspects of celebrancy practice. I have a small team of trusted assessors who help me out with reviewing your assessment tasks, but they work to clear criteria that help them make consistent decisions the same way I would.
In addition to initial training, CIRTO offers Professional Development to registered celebrants, so you can feel confident that I am in touch with a wide range of practising celebrants on a regular basis, as well as keeping completely up to date with what’s going on in the world of celebrancy.
How to get started in the best celebrant course
Our online celebrant course is highly reviewed and our graduates go on to successful careers as marriage celebrants. Read through all the information below including intake dates, and follow the instructions to apply for enrolment.[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="About Sarah Aird" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]I have been a Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrant and funeral celebrant since 2013, and in that time have earned a formidable reputation amongst Australian celebrants as the go-to person for all matters concerning marriage legalities and business. My knowledge of the Marriage Act, Regulations and Guidelines is thorough and current, and I work hard to keep up to date with any changes to the way Australian celebrants work.
As one of the founders of the Celebrant Institute I attend biannual meetings with the Marriage Law & Celebrants Section of the Commonwealth Attorney-General’s Department and I am active in responding to their requests for consultation and assistance.
My ceremony clients are just as impressed with my work as my colleagues are; I provide a warm and compassionate service to my wedding and funeral clients, and they are always quick to recommend me to others.
I not only know all of the things, I'm also adept at teaching them to new and experienced celebrants in a way that is friendly and approachable. With expertise spanning all aspects of a celebrant’s work, from the legalities to writing ceremonies to performing ceremonies to running a successful, process-oriented business, I have so much to give to the next generation of Australian celebrants, and I am delighted to have the opportunity to pass on my skills and knowledge.
If you'd like to hear me speak on all things celebrant-related, have a listen to my podcast with Josh Withers, The Celebrant Talk Show, available in your podcast app or at celebrant.fm. My collaboration with Josh Withers, The Celebrant Institute, provides a membership platform for celebrants and aspiring celebrants to ask questions of both of us, recognised experts in the industry. You will receive a free 12-month membership to The Celebrant Institute as part of your Certificate IV in Celebrant enrolment; read more about us at celebrant.institute[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Structure" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]Study options
Online courses are self-paced and delivered completely online, starting on the first course intake date after your enrolment is processed (see intake dates in the Enrolments section below). You have 12 months to review the written and video content and complete the assessment tasks. There are no organised face-to-face sessions involved in online courses, however there are fortnightly Zoom sessions for students to ask questions. Course fee: $3080
(Please note I am no longer offering face to face training for the Certificate IV in Celebrancy.)
Content and assessments
We look at ceremonies in general in Australian culture, then take a deeper look at marriages and funerals. We also look at what is required to set up a sustainable celebrant business, and to care for and develop the business in the long-term.
Content provided
All content is provided via our eLearning platform, aXcelerate. There are 20 separate modules, each including multiple sections of written content for you to work through at your own pace; this written content is also provided as a PDF manual in case you want to print it out.
Many sections include videos alongside the written content: there are more than 70 core content videos in which I deliver the content to you just the way I would in a classroom, and there are more than 50 additional content videos in which my celebrant colleagues and other content experts provide extra tips and tricks for you to make your celebrant practice the best it can be.
There are opportunities to check your knowledge throughout the content delivery; these are not assessment tasks, just chances for you to check you’re on the right track and jot down some initial thoughts about your business.
As well as the required legal marriage documents and completed examples, I provide you with more than 20 document templates I have designed throughout my years as a celebrant; you can edit them as you wish and use them for your assessment tasks, and you’ll be able to use them when you’re out in the world working as a celebrant.
My assessor Tania Marsh has created 30 ceremony certificate samples for non-marriage ceremonies that you are welcome to use in your assessment tasks and when you’re a practising celebrant.
Finally, you will receive a free 12-month Celebrant Institute membership so that you can access the more than 400 blog posts Josh and I have written over the years, many of which will be relevant to your studies.
Assessment
Assessment is extensive and involves everything from written assignments through to simulated interviews, rehearsals and ceremony performances (all of which must be videoed for submission); at least one ceremony must be performed in front of at least 20 people, and at least two ceremonies must be performed using PA equipment (which can be hired from audiovisual suppliers).
Time investment
You should be prepared to allow at least 20 hours per week over a 12-month period to complete the course on time. Of course, if you have more time to devote to your studies you may be able to complete the course in less than 12 months. I offer you a maximum of 12 months to complete the required assessment work, with extensions available for a small fee.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Prerequisites" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]There are no formal entry requirements for the Cert IV in Celebrancy, however, the professional nature of the celebrant’s role requires that the celebrant has at least Year 10 level proficiency in spoken and written English, and other literacy and numeracy skills as outlined below.
Writing: The nature of the role is that the celebrant is totally responsible for all aspects of the client interaction, from completing legal documentation to writing cohesive and grammatically correct ceremonies, and everything in between. Difficulty with writing clearly and cohesively in English may mean the celebrant is unable to appropriately communicate with their clients, accurately complete legal documentation, or create meaningful written ceremonies.
Speaking: The celebrant is required to deliver a ceremony to audience numbers that range from five people to several hundred. Someone who has difficulty speaking English would not be appropriate for this course unless they are planning to only work with clients who speak their language.
Listening: The celebrant is required to gather and interpret information from clients in relation to their legal status and the content of their ceremony. Someone who has hearing difficulties may find it difficult to discuss these requirements unless both the celebrant and the client/s are fluent in sign language.
Reading: The celebrant is required to read and understand marriage law and other legislation, regulations and guidelines, and present written ceremonies. Difficulty with reading may mean that the celebrant misinterprets legal requirements or struggles with appropriately presenting ceremony inclusions.
Numeracy: The celebrant operates a small business, providing invoices and recording details of expenses. Difficulty in this regard may mean the celebrant will not effectively be able to maintain their small business in the long term.
Digital: The celebrant runs a small business in the 21st century, requiring them to be able to communicate with their clients and stakeholders digitally. Difficulty working at an intermediate level of computer proficiency, with the ability to create and edit electronic documents and spreadsheets, send and receive emails, and interact with online databases and software systems, and/or lack of access to an internet-connected computer and printer, would make it extremely difficult to work as a celebrant.
You will be required to undertake a Language, Literacy and Numeracy (LLN) test and an interview prior to enrolment, and these will assist me to assess whether you will require any training before starting or ongoing assistance during the course.
The minimum age for commencing this course is 18 years.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Podcast Episodes With Graduates" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]Hear from past students on how they studied and became celebrants on our podcast, the Celebrant Talk Show.
Listen to all the episodes at the Celebrant Talk Show online or search for "celebrant talk show" in your podcast app.[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Units" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]There are six compulsory units and seven elective units (including three units that must be completed to apply for registration as a marriage celebrant); I have selected the units I feel will best set you up for starting and running a sustainable celebrancy practice.
A. 6 core units
CHCCEL001: Develop sustainable celebrancy practiceCHCCEL002: Establish client celebrancy needsCHCCEL003: Research, design and organise ceremoniesCHCCEL004: Prepare for, present and evaluate ceremoniesCHCDIV001: Work with diverse peopleCHCLEG001: Work legally and ethically
B. 3 units required for registration as an authorised marriage celebrant
CHCCEL005: Establish and maintain marriage celebrancy practiceCHCCEL006: Interview clients and plan marriage ceremoniesCHCCEL007: Prepare for, present and evaluate marriage ceremonies
C. 4 elective units
BSBCMM411: Make presentationsBSBTWK401: Build and maintain business relationshipsBSBESB401: Research and develop business plansCHCCEL008: Plan, present and evaluate funeral and memorial ceremonies
Many students ask me if they MUST complete the funeral celebrancy unit. In a word, yes. I want all of my celebrancy graduates to walk out into the world fully confident and able to perform a wide range of ceremonies, including funerals. Every marriage celebrant will be asked to perform a funeral at some point during their career, and I want my graduates to be prepared so that when that phone call comes, they don’t feel the need to impose on an experienced funeral celebrant and ask if they can copy one of their scripts. It’s unprofessional and unfair, so I insist that all of my students complete this unit.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Becoming a Marriage Celebrant" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]Once you have completed the Certificate IV in Celebrancy, you will be required to apply for registration as a Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrant. The Attorney General’s Department will assess your suitability for registration based on the information you provide in your application. The application fee is currently $400 and the review process takes 3-6 months.
Completing this course does not guarantee that you will attain registration as a Commonwealth Registered Marriage Celebrant.
Creating a successful and sustainable celebrancy business can be difficult. It’s important that you know it may be tough to earn a full-time living from celebrancy. It is also crucial that aspiring marriage celebrants are aware they are not allowed to advertise their services or take bookings from marrying couples until after they have received their registration as a celebrant from the Attorney-General’s Department.
Please ensure you have read the information on the Attorney General’s Department’s website about Becoming a Marriage Celebrant before you enrol for this course.
Another resource is becomeacelebrant.au
Thinking about becoming a celebrant to marry a friend or family member? Read this first.[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Fees and Refunds" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]Course Fees
Total fees of $3080 are payable as follows:
Non-refundable enrolment deposit (prior to being granted access to the learning and assessment materials): $440
Remainder to be paid in monthly instalments after intake start date: $440 per month for six months (first payment due one month after intake start date)
Fees and Refunds Policy
Information about fees and charges
The Celebrant Institute RTO protects the fees that are paid in advance by students by not requiring a student to ever pay more than $1,500 in advance for services not yet provided, either prior to course commencement or at any stage during their course. Fees will be paid off during the course in instalments according to a set payment schedule that meets these requirements
Fee information relevant to a course is outlined in detailed in the Student Agreement and summarised on the Course Outline as well as the RTO’s website. In compliance with Clause 5.3 of the Standards, detailed fee information is provided prior to enrolment or commencement of training, whichever is first.
Fee information includes:
All costs for the course including any materials fees
Any other costs payable to the RTO including costs for recognition of prior learning if applicable
Payment terms and conditions including deposits, refunds and payment schedules if applicable
The Student Agreement and the Student Handbook which are provided prior to enrolment, includes this Fees and Refunds Policy and informs the student of their consumer rights. Students are asked to sign the Student Agreement in acknowledgement of the terms and conditions of the enrolment and this policy.
No cooling-off period applies as The Celebrant Institute RTO does not use unsolicited consumer agreements (such as telemarketing, door-to-door selling or direct approach marketing in a public places).
Course fee inclusions
Course fees as applicable to each course are detailed on the Student Agreement and include:
All of the training and assessment as well as basic educational support services required for students to achieve the qualification or course in which they are enrolling within the attempts allowed. Where a student fails to achieve a satisfactory outcome after three attempts at an assessment task, reassessment fees may apply.
Issuance of one set of electronic certification documents including the testamur (certificate) and record of results and/or a Statement of Attainment (in the case of withdrawal or partial completion).
Course fees do not include:
Any optional textbooks and materials that may be recommended but not required to complete a course.
Stationery such as paper and pens or other personal use items such as computers or internet access that may be required to complete homework tasks.
Printing costs (if required).
Re-issuance or printing of AQF certification documents. Re-issuance or printed copies of these documents will attract a fee of $50 per document plus the cost of postage if required.
The Celebrant Institute RTO cannot guarantee that students will successfully complete the course in which they enrol regardless of whether all fees due have been paid.
Payments
Payments can be accepted by electronic transfer only.
Students who are experiencing difficulty in paying their fees are invited to call our office to make alternative arrangements for payment during their period of difficulty.
Debts may be referred to a debt collection agency where fees are more than 40 days past due.
The Celebrant Institute RTO reserves the right to suspend the provision of training and/or other services until fees are brought up to date. Students with long term outstanding accounts may be withdrawn from their course if payments have not been received and no alternative arrangements for payment have been made.
Transfer of enrolment
Fees paid are transferrable to a different online intake if the original start date is no longer suitable for the student, at no charge to the student.
Only one transfer is allowed per enrolment; additional transfers will attract an administration fee.
Deferral of enrolment
Students may defer their enrolment for up to 12 months and recommence their training program at a later date and occur no additional fees. Students wishing to defer their enrolment for more than 12 months will need to cancel their enrolment and re-enrol when they are ready to recommence the training program.
Only one deferral is allowed per enrolment; additional deferrals will attract an administration fee.
During the period of deferral, students will not have access to course resources.
Withdrawal/cancellation of enrolment
Students may withdraw from/cancel their enrolment in writing at any time, but if their training program has already commenced, they will not be entitled to a refund of any fees paid.
Students wishing to withdraw from/cancel their enrolment can do so by completing the Withdrawal Form and submitting it to training@celebrantinstitute.edu.au.
Extensions
Students who are unable to complete the training and assessment program within 12 months may apply to extend their enrolment for three months at a time, at an additional cost of $600 per extension. Only two extensions are available; if the course is not finished after 18 months, the student will need to re-enrol and start again.
Extensions after the initial 12 months are only available to those students who have completed a substantial amount of work (i.e. at least the first submission of Tasks 1-15) at the time of their first application for extension. Second extensions are only available to those students who have submitted at least 7 practical assessment tasks during the period of their first extension.
Applications for extension must be made in writing via the Application for Extension Form, which must be emailed to training@celebrantinstitute.edu.au no less than two weeks before the student’s enrolment end date.
Applications for extension are the responsibility of the student. The Celebrant Institute RTO will not be responsible for following up students coming close to their enrolment end date. Students who have not completed their first submission of all tasks by their enrolment end date will have their enrolment cancelled with no notice, and they will not be entitled to a refund of any fees paid.
Refunds
All course fees include an Enrolment Fee (or non-refundable deposit) which will only be refunded where The Celebrant Institute RTO is required to cancel a course before it commences due to insufficient numbers or for other unforeseen circumstances.
A student not achieving the qualification or unit/s in which they enrolled due to exhausting their attempts at assessment does not entitle the student to a refund.
RPL application fees are non-refundable.
In the unlikely event that The Celebrant Institute RTO, or any third parties responsible for delivering training and assessment on its behalf, is unable to deliver the course or any portion of the course as promised, the student will be issued with a refund for the course or portion of course that was not provided. This includes the following situations:
Where The Celebrant Institute RTO or any third parties delivering training and assessment on its behalf ceases to operate.
Where The Celebrant Institute RTO ceases to deliver the course in which a student is enrolled, and the agreement is terminated.
Where The Celebrant Institute RTO needs to make a change to the terms of the student agreement (such as the way the course is delivered or conditions of enrolment) and a new agreement cannot be reached with the student to account for changes.’
In any of the above situations, The Celebrant Institute RTO will automatically conduct a refund assessment of all affected students and issue the refunds due to the Fee Payer accordingly. In these cases, there is no need for a student to make an individual application for a refund. Refunds will be issued within 28 business days.
The refund assessment will be based on reviewing the services and/or materials provided to the student and the costs incurred by The Celebrant Institute RTO in the provision such as:
Textbooks or other materials provided
Training provided and received (i.e. amount of online content accessed)
Individual support provided by the trainer/assessor
Assessments marked or feedback provided (including RPL).
The outcome of the refund assessment will be provided in writing to the student’s registered address within 28 business days, outlining the decision and reasons for the decision along with any applicable refund or adjustment note. Refund decisions can be appealed following our Complaints and Appeals Policy & Procedure.
Recording and payment of refunds
Refunds will be paid to the person or organisation that made the original payment.
Refund assessments can be appealed following our Complaints and Appeals Policy & Procedure.
Records of refund assessments and issuance of refunds will be stored securely on the student’s file and in our accounts keeping system.
Publication
The Celebrant Institute RTO will publish in a prominent place on its website the following:
Costs for fee for service programs.
This Fees and Refunds Policy.
Additional Fees and Charges
The Celebrant Institute RTO has the following additional charges which may apply in some circumstances.
Non-Tuition Fees – all students
Charge
Re-issuance or printed copies of testamur and statements of resultsAll course fees include the cost for issuing of one copy of the AQF testamur and Record of Results and/or a Statement of Attainment. This fee applies to each additional copy of a certification document if required.
$50 per document plus the cost of postage if required
PrintingPrinting costs required if students require a copy of any records that The Celebrant Institute RTO holds about them.
20c per page
Tuition Fees
Charge
Reassessment fee (per assessment task) Where a student fails to achieve a satisfactory outcome after three attempts at an assessment task, reassessment fees may apply for additional attempts.
$300 per attempt
Recognition of Prior Learning (RPL) application fee (per unit)Total course fees may be reduced to account for the number of units undertaken via RPL or where Course Credit has been granted.
$600 per unit
Extension feeA three-month extension may be applied for by students who have completed a substantial amount of work (i.e. at least first submission of written Tasks 1-15) but will be unable to complete their training program within 12 months. A second three-month extension may be applied for by students who have submitted at least six practical assessment tasks during the period of their first extension.A maximum of two three-month extensions are available before a student will need to re-enrol and recommence their training program.
$600 per extension
Administration fee for transfers and/or deferralsOne transfer to a different online intake is allowed per enrolment.One deferral of up to 12 months is allowed per enrolment.Additional transfers or enrolments will attract an administration fee.
$300 per transfer or deferral
One-on-one trainingStudents requiring additional one-on-one training should contact the office with details of the training required. This training will be delivered by Zoom.
On application
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Only Interested in Funeral Celebrancy?" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]If you're only interested in conducting funerals, there's no need to complete the Certificate IV in Celebrancy. In fact, there's no need to complete any training or qualification at all - anyone can be a funeral celebrant! However we strongly recommend you do consider some training, starting with our funeral professional development course. This is the same content my Certificate IV in Celebrancy students undertake in their funeral unit, but there is no assessment; you just read the information and watch the videos as often as you like. You can purchase the brief funeral course here![/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Enrolments" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" hover_enabled="0" global_colors_info="{}" open="off" sticky_enabled="0"]How to enrol:
Download and read the Course Outline
Download and read the Student Handbook
Download and complete in full the Language, Literacy and Numeracy assessment. You must download this form and complete it using Adobe (see below); do not complete it in your browser window. THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL, REGARDLESS OF YOUR PREVIOUS EDUCATION OR EMPLOYMENT
If you are wishing to apply for a Credit Transfer, download and complete in full the Credit Application Form. You must download this form and complete it using Adobe (see below); do not complete it in your browser window.
Prepare a photo/scan of one form of photo ID, e.g. a driver's licence or passport.
Choose the intake you would like to apply for from the list below, click on the button and complete the form, uploading the appropriate documents as required.
Full and complete applications must be received no later than the Monday before you are hoping to begin your course.
After completing your application, I will invite you to a pre-enrolment interview via Zoom; this must take place no later than the Wednesday before you are hoping to begin your course. Please check your spam folder for your invitation if it doesn't land in your inbox.
Once your enrolment has been approved I will send you a Letter of Offer, a Student Agreement, and an invoice for your first payment.
Your studies will begin on the next intake start date after you return your Student Agreement and make your first payment.
Course Start Date
Monday July 28 2025
Apply Now
Monday August 25 2025
Apply Now
Monday September 22 2025
Apply Now
Monday October 20 2025
Apply Now
Monday November 17 2025
Apply Now
Apply Now
NB: the LLN assessment and Credit application form are built as fancy Adobe forms that can be fully completed electronically (although handwriting and scanning them are also acceptable). You will need the latest version of Adobe Reader to complete them, which you can download here: https://get.adobe.com/reader/[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title="Further Questions / Information" _builder_version="4.27.4" _module_preset="default" global_colors_info="{}" open="off"]If after reading all the information and documents published on this page you still have questions about the Cert IV in Celebrancy, please make a 15-minute appointment to speak to Sarah by phone.
Book a free consultation call[/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
### Blog
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### The Bible
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### Trainers
Meet our Certificate IV in Celebrancy and Ongoing Professional Development celebrant trainers
Sarah Aird
Cert IV in Celebrancy CHC41015, Academy of Celebrancy and Qualtrain
Cert IV in Training & Assessment TAE40110, Victoria Polytechnic
Bachelor of Arts, University of Melbourne
Grad Cert in Arts & Entertainment Management, Deakin University
Marriage celebrant, funeral celebrant, celebrant trainer
Co-director, Celebrant Institute
Co-host, The Celebrant Talk Show
Member, Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants, Funeral Celebrants Association of Australia
Board Secretary and Member, Association of Independent Funeral Professions
I knew I wanted to be a celebrant trainer from the time I did my own initial training (which, to be honest, was underwhelming). I have one of those sponge-like brains that soaks up information, and consequently the legalities of my marriage celebrant role come easily to me. I’ve been sharing my knowledge with my celebrant networks since conducting my first wedding (several of my networking groups call me The Oracle), and I love that I have the opportunity to share it with the wider celebrant population.
Celebrant Institute RTO
I’m thrilled to be the CEO of the Celebrant Institute RTO, offering both the Cert IV in Celebrancy for aspiring celebrants and Ongoing Professional Development for registered celebrants. I'm training OPD sessions around the country in 2020, as well as working on updating and improving the Cert IV in Celebrancy and rolling it out around Australia.
Celebrant Institute
My partnership with Queensland celebrant Josh Withers is the Celebrant Institute, a place where celebrants can ask literally any question of us about running a sustainable celebrant business. Between the two of us we know most of the answers; I cover off the legal and process sides, while Josh is a marketing and technology whiz. You can also find our free podcast, The Celebrant Talk Show, on the Institute website. Head over there and join us now!
### Contact Us
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### Complaints and Appeals
Information for students of The Celebrant Institute RTO for the Certificate IV in Celebrancy.
Nature of complaints and appeals
The Celebrant Institute RTO responds to all allegations involving the conduct of:
The RTO, its trainers and assessors and other staff.
Any third party providing services on behalf of The Celebrant Institute RTO.
Any student or client of The Celebrant Institute RTO.
Complaints may be made in relation to any of The Celebrant Institute RTO’s services and activities such as:
the application and enrolment process
marketing information
the quality of training and assessment provided
training and assessment matters, including student progress, student support and assessment requirements
the way someone has been treated
the actions of another student.
An appeal is a request for a decision made by The Celebrant Institute RTO to be reviewed. Decisions may have been about:
course admissions
refund assessments
response to a complaint
assessment outcomes / results
other general decisions made by The Celebrant Institute RTO.
Principles of resolution
The Celebrant Institute RTO is committed to developing a procedurally fair complaints and appeals process that is carried out free from bias, following the principles of natural justice. Through this policy and procedure, The Celebrant Institute RTO ensures that complaints and appeals:
Are responded to in a consistent and transparent manner.
Are responded to promptly, objectively, with sensitivity and confidentiality.
Are able to be made at no cost to the individual.
Are used as an opportunity to identify potential causes of the complaint or appeal and take actions to prevent the issues from recurring as well as identifying any areas for improvement.
The Celebrant Institute RTO will inform all persons or parties involved in any allegations made as well as providing them with an opportunity to present their side of the matter.
Nothing in this policy and procedure limits the rights of an individual to take action under Australia’s Consumer Protection laws and it does not circumscribe an individual’s rights to pursue other legal remedies.
Where a student chooses to access this policy and procedure, The Celebrant Institute RTO will maintain the student’s enrolment while the complaints/appeals handling process is ongoing.
Timeframes for resolution
Complaints and appeals will be finalised as soon as practicable or at least within 30 calendar days unless there is a significant reason for the matter to take longer. In matters where additional time is needed, the complainant or appellant will be advised in writing of the reasons and will be updated weekly on the progress of the matter until such a time that the matter is resolved.
Records of complaints and appeals
The Celebrant Institute RTO will maintain a record of all complaints and appeals and their outcomes on the Complaints and Appeals Register, which will be securely stored according to the Privacy Policy & Procedures.
Making a complaint or appeal
Complaints about a particular incident should be made as soon as possible after the incident occurring and appeals must be made within thirty (30) calendar days of the original decision being made.
Complaints and appeals must be made in writing using the Complaints and Appeals Form, or other written format and sent to The Celebrant Institute RTO’s head office at PO Box 7101, Glen Iris VIC 3146, attention to the Chief Executive Officer.
When making a complaint or appeal, provide as much information as possible to enable The Celebrant Institute RTO to investigate and determine an appropriate solution. This should include:
The issue you are complaining about or the decision you are appealing – describe what happened and how it affected you.
Any evidence you have to support your complaint or appeal.
Details about the steps you have already taken to resolve the issue.
Suggestions about how the matter might be resolved.
Your complaint or appeal will be acknowledged in writing via email or post within 7 days.
Resolution of complaints and appeals
Some or all members of the management team of The Celebrant Institute RTO will be involved in resolving complaints and appeals as outlined in the procedures.
Where a complaint or appeal involves another individual or organisation, they will be given the opportunity to respond to any allegations made.
Where a third party delivering Services on behalf of the RTO is involved, they will be included in the process of resolving the complaint or appeal.
In the case of an assessment appeal, an assessor who is independent from the original decision will assess the original task again. The outcome of this assessment will be the result granted for the assessment task.
Independent parties
The Celebrant Institute RTO acknowledges the need for an appropriate independent party to be appointed to review a matter where this is requested by the complainant or appellant and the internal processes have failed to resolve the matter.
Complainants and appellants can find an appropriate independent party by calling the Resolution Institute on 02 9251 3366 or by searching the following directory, according to their locality and area of concern: https://www.resolution.institute/australian-directory
Costs associated with independent parties to review a matter must be covered by the complainant/appellant unless the decision to include an independent party was made by The Celebrant Institute RTO.
The Celebrant Institute RTO may also appoint the independent party to be involved in the resolution of a complaint or appeal where it is deemed necessary.
The Celebrant Institute RTO will provide complete cooperation with the external mediator investigating the complaint/appeal and will be bound by the recommendations arising out of this process.
The CEO will ensure that any recommendations made are implemented within twenty (20) days of being notified of the recommendations. The complainant or appellant will also be formally notified in writing of the outcome of the mediation.
External complaint avenues
Complaints can also be made via the following avenues:
National Training Complaints Hotline:
The National Training Complaints Hotline is a national service for consumers to register complaints concerning vocational education and training. The service refers consumers to the appropriate agency/authority/jurisdiction to assist with their complaint. Consumers can register a complaint with the National Training Complaints Hotline by:
Phone: 13 38 73, Monday–Friday, 8am to 6pm nationally.
Email: ntch@education.gov.au
For more information about the National Training Complaints Hotline, refer to the following webpage:https://www.dese.gov.au/national-training-complaints-hotline
Australian Skills Quality Authority (ASQA):
Complainants may also complain to The Celebrant Institute RTO’s registering body, Australian Skills Quality Authority (ASQA).
ASQA can investigate complaints about The Celebrant Institute RTO in relation to:
the quality of our training and assessment
our marketing and advertising practices
For students: ASQA may not be able to investigate complaint if you do not include evidence that you have already exhausted our formal internal complaints process as above.
If your complaint does not fall within ASQA's jurisdiction, it may be resolved more quickly if you directly contact the agency responsible as listed on the relevant webpage below.
Please refer to the following webpage below before making a complaint to ASQA: https://www.asqa.gov.au/about/complaints/complaints-about-training-providers
Publication
This policy and procedure will be published in the Student Handbook and on The Celebrant Institute RTO’s website.
### Code of Practice for marriage celebrants
The Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants is contained in Schedule 2 of the Marriage Regulations 2017.
Application Of This Code Of Practice
This Code of Practice applies to marriage celebrants.
Note 1: A marriage celebrant is a person registered under Subdivision C of Division 1 of Part IV of the Marriage Act 1961: see subsection 5(1) of that Act.
Note 2: Under paragraph 39I(1)(b) of that Act, if the Registrar of Marriage Celebrants is satisfied that a marriage celebrant has not complied with an obligation under section 39G of that Act, including this Code of Practice, the Registrar may take disciplinary measures against the marriage celebrant.
High Standard Of Service
A marriage celebrant must maintain a high standard of service in his or her professional conduct and practice. This includes (without limitation) ensuring the following:
(a)appropriate personal presentation for marriage ceremonies;
(b)punctuality for marriage ceremonies;
(c)accuracy in preparation of documents and in the conduct of marriage ceremonies.
Recognition Of Significance Of Marriage
A marriage celebrant must recognise the social, cultural and legal significance of marriage and the marriage ceremony in the Australian community, and the importance of strong and respectful family relationships.
Compliance With The Act And Other Laws
A marriage celebrant must:
(a) comply with the requirements of the Marriage Act 1961 and the Marriage Regulations 2017 which apply to the marriage celebrant; and
(b) observe the laws of the Commonwealth and of any State or Territory in which the marriage celebrant solemnises marriages; and
(c) avoid unlawful discrimination in the provision of marriage celebrancy services.
General Requirements For Marriage Ceremonies
A marriage celebrant must respect the importance of the marriage ceremony to the parties and the other persons organising the ceremony. This includes (without limitation) the following:
(a) giving the parties information and guidance to enable them to choose or compose a marriage ceremony, including information to assist the parties to decide whether a marriage ceremony rehearsal is needed or appropriate;
(b) respecting the privacy and confidentiality of the parties, including by:
(i)arranging for appropriate facilities to interview parties; and
(ii)dealing appropriately with personal documents and personal information; and
(iii) maintaining appropriate facilities for the secure storage of records; and
(iv) ensuring the return of all personal documents belonging to the parties as soon as practicable (unless it is necessary to keep the documents for the ceremony);
(c) giving the parties information about how to notify the Commonwealth AttorneyGeneral’s Department of any concerns or complaints they may have regarding the marriage services provided by the marriage celebrant.
Knowledge And Understanding Of Family Relationships Services
A marriage celebrant must:
(a) maintain an uptodate knowledge about appropriate family relationships services in the community; and
(b) inform the parties to the marriage about the range of information and services available to them to enhance, and sustain them throughout, their relationship.
See the latest code of practice on the AGD website.
### Frequently Asked Questions
Why can’t I log in to your site?
How do I cancel my subscription?
Can I switch plans?
Can I update my email address?
Can I update my credit card?
How do I reset my password?
Can I gift a subscription?
Why can’t I log in to your site?
Check your browser’s security settings. Our membership software won’t work if you’ve disabled 3rd-party cookies. Either change your settings or use another different browser to see if you can log on there. Often a company firewall or adblocker will interfere with log in as well.
How do I cancel my subscription?
Log in to your account and toggle auto-renew off from the Subscriptions tab.
Can I switch from a monthly plan to an annual plan?
Yes. Click Change plan from the Subscriptions tab in your account. You’ll be switched to the new plan immediately and charged a prorated amount.
Can I update my email address or other personal information?
Yes. Log in to your account to make these changes.
Can I update my credit card?
Yes. Log in to your account, add the new card and click update my credit card.
How do I reset my password?
Click this link celebrant.memberful.com/auth/password/new, enter your email address, and then click send me reset instructions. To ensure the reset process is secure:
Password reset links automatically expire after 48 hours.
Password reset links can only be used once. If you click the link, and reset your password, the link becomes invalid.
If the link becomes invalid, delete the old reset email and start with a fresh password reset.
Can I gift a subscription?
Yes. It’s easy to gift a subscription. Click here to gift a subscription.
You will be prompted to enter the gift recipient’s name and email address, the delivery date, a personalized message, and your payment information. The gift recipient will receive an email with a link to activate their gift.
Keep in mind that you’re purchasing a one-time gift for the selected term (e.g. month or year). The gift recipient will be responsible for adding a payment method before the next renewal period if they’d like to continue with the subscription.
### Aspirational Celebrant Membership
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[/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url="https://celebrant.memberful.com/checkout?plan=51376" button_text="Join" button_alignment="center" _builder_version="4.5.1" hover_enabled="0" z_index_tablet="500" button_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet="0px" button_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet="0px" button_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet="1px" box_shadow_horizontal_tablet="0px" box_shadow_vertical_tablet="0px" box_shadow_blur_tablet="40px" box_shadow_spread_tablet="0px"][/et_pb_button][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
### Ask a question
Celebrant Institute members have access to Sarah Aird and Josh Withers to ask questions about marriage law in Australia, destination weddings, ceremony creation, client liaison, business building, marketing, or anything related to making your celebrancy practice better.
Be as detailed and concise as possible to help us answer you to the best of our ability.
Form not working properly? Click to open in a new window
### Podcast
[et_pb_section fb_built="1" _builder_version="3.22"][et_pb_row _builder_version="3.25" background_size="initial" background_position="top_left" background_repeat="repeat"][et_pb_column type="4_4" _builder_version="3.25" custom_padding="|||" custom_padding__hover="|||"][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.6.0" hover_enabled="0" sticky_enabled="0"]The Celebrant Talk Show Podcast
Josh and Sarah host a regular talk show podcast for and about marriage celebrants. Some have called it helpful, others, funny, and few have called it "great", but we'll let you decide.
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